20-28% Of The Time I'm A Very, Very Curious, Hopeful And Ambitious Child. Rest Of The Time I Am, Like

20-28% of the time i'm a very, very curious, hopeful and ambitious child. rest of the time i am, like that one tweet said, stuck on my back like a bug. when will this cycle stoppp aaaa

i didn't expect psychology courses to be so hard! it is understandable though, since this one is about lab in psychology. psychophysics and related disciplines seem so intriguing and fun from afar, but it takes me a whole day to understand a concepts in it well. unfortunately i missed this exam due to anxiety issues and i hope i'll get to retake it. i'll admit it is fun to learn this study though it's pretty fascinating that so many people have actually went in such depth about it and actually figured some things out ~

🎧 ~ this night by groovyroom

try to do approach motives journaling. it's when you write down why you want to do something, instead of why you need to do it. write down a couple of reasons like, "without the pressure of exams, maths is pretty fun to figure out" "it opens alot of avenues for things i want to do in the future" "it makes understanding fascinating things (like all sorts of science) easier" "it's like puzzle solving". this will help you start. take breaks, and when you feel scared again, go back to what you wrote down repeatedly and remind yourself that since the results aren't in your hand, you must let go worrying about them, and in the meantime see it as an opportunity that pushes you to learn and solve some math, however much you can out of curiosity and your approach motives. i know it's hard to make a habit of, but eventually you can get there. i personally also am not able to commit to this each and every time, but when something finally does work, it's this. you gotta take the pressure off or else you will stay frozen in fear ~

Guys I’m so overwhelmed with my math class. I’m so behind. I don’t even feel like I can open my laptop. I just scroll through tumblr with an impending sense of doom.

i cut myself off from the world thinking that it will make me less anxious, and yet im still anxious all the time.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

I feel like it is easier for men and women, especially the ones alright in the head

to realise they are not teens anymore

they are adults

they are in their 20s, adults

they start emulating their parents, maybe other men and women

there are so many to feel like and live as

but not for me

all i feel like is a kid

how do i stop feeling like one

we were kids, and then suddenly everyone became men and women

and i became a joke

and i just see myself becoming more and more of it

who do i become?