Harry Potter Books As Clickbait Titles Except That It's Actually True

harry potter books as clickbait titles except that it's actually true

philosophers stone: 'I'M A WIHAT? STORYTIME: Got sent to a WIZARD SCHOOL and KILLED a teacher!'

chamber of secrets: 'THE HEIR OF WHAT? STORYTIME: My best friend got petrified so I went down a toilet to kill a SNAKE and a HANDSOME BOY?'

prisoner of azkaban: 'HE WAS THEIR FRIEND! STORYTIME: My teacher is a WEREWOLF?? A murderer that escaped from prison claims to be my GODFATHER!'

goblet of fire: 'I DIDN'T PUT MY NAME IN THAT CUP OK? STORYTIME: Got put in a DEADLY TOURNAMENT! (BI AWAKENING) VOLDEMORT IS BACK AND HE KILLED MY CRUSH! (EMOTIONAL)'

order of the phoenix: 'NEW PRINCIPLE? STORYTIME: Dumbledore wouldn't talk to me! NEW PRINCIPLE MADE A LOCKDOWN?? My GODFATHER is DEAD! (EMOTIONAL)'

half blood prince: 'I TOLD YOU HE'S A DEATH EATER MIONE! STORYTIME: Draco Malfoy was CRYING IN THE BATHROOM so I almost KILLED HIM! HORCRUX HUNTING WITH DUMBLEDORE(HE DIED!!!)'

deathly hallows (pt.1 cuz its too long): 'DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL! STORYTIME: Searching for horcruxes! I stole DRACO MALFOY'S WAND?? IT WORKS PERFECT WTF! Dobby is DEAD! (EMOTIONAL)'

deathly hallows (pt.2): 'BROKE INTO A BANK! STORYTIME: Freed a BLIND DRAGON and sneaked into HOGWARTS! (STARTED A WAR) Saved MALFOY from the FIENDFYRE! EVERYONE STOP FUCKING DYING! (Snape is ACTUALLY GOOD) KILLED TOM WITH AN 'EXPELLIARMUS'! (VERY EMOTIONAL)

cursed child: 'MIONE WHY DIDN'T YOU DESTROY THAT DAMN TIME TURNER! STORYTIME: Voldemort has a DAUGHTER? DRACO'S child and MY CHILD are BEST FRIENDS??? They travel in TIME! Almost died (AGAIN)'

omg

i'm screaming

thinking about that one post by a deactivated user that said that Susie in part 1 of deltarune, over an in universe course of less than a full day, is a better bully redemption arc than Bakugō could ever be

have some drarry because i love them hehe

draco: how tall are you?

harry: height is a social construct

draco: so you're short

harry: listen here y-

-

draco: why would you give scoripius a knife????

harry: he felt unsafe :(

draco: NOW I FEEL UNSAFE

harry: ...would you like a knife?

-

draco: say yes to drugs

ron: say no to drugs

harry: it doesn't matter what you say to them

harry: if you're talking to drugs, you're taking drugs

ron: B R O

-

harry: *gets on one knee*

draco: oh merlin it's finally happening

harry: *ties shoelaces*

draco: he finally stopped wearing fucking crocs

Grindelwald:What makes Albus Dumbledore so fond of you

Newt: This is gonna sound crazy but it maay have something to do with the fact that I wasn't responsible for his sister's death.

if you ever think that ron didn't love hermione, remember the boy's scared and pale face when mcgonagall informed them hermione was petrified

if you ever think that hermione didn't like ron, remember how flustered and pink she became everytime he praised her intelligence or her in general.

if you ever think that ron wasn't jealous when hermione was around other boys, remember how miserable he looked at the yule ball when she was dancing with krum

if you ever think that hermione never supported ron, remember how she kissed him before the quidditch match and wished him luck. remember how he touched the spot where she kissed him and smiled.

if you ever think that they didn't love eachother, remember how quick they were to notice everything, remember all the times they supported eachother, remember how much they cared for eachother.

and most importantly

remember that no matter what happened, they always found a way to be friends again, that's how strong their bond was. remember how ron always pushed hermione out of the harm when it approached, remember how he defended her every time someone called her a m*dblood. remember how hermione always cared for ron, remember how she always helped him and supported him, remember the tears that were streaming down her face when ron ran away, remember how they never stopped loving eachother and how they were ALWAYS ready to sacrifice themselves one for another.