LOL TRUE

LOL TRUE

Ok I'm sorry I saw the insult my muse ask Promt on your blog and I had to try! "You have a tiny dick and Alisha hates you"

[Cackles] “I knew street rats in the back alleys of Ladylake who came up with better insults than you! The size of my dick doesn’t concern me - but I assure you it’s fan-diddly-tastic. Also I saved the princess’s pretty little butt from mortal danger. I think I deserve a teensy weensy bit of affection for that.”

“He won’t even say hell.”

“HECK.”

thetraitordemon:

“Would if I could but I won’t cause it doesn’t settle right with me…..in english.”

“What’s ‘English’? Fuck me, old man, you are going senile.”

[Lol England and by extension English doesn’t exist in Tales shoot me]

“I’M GONNA PUNCH A PUMPKIN.”

Autumn-esque Sentence Starters

“…Why? Isn’t it more fun to … carve ’em? Set ‘em on fire? That’s what I’d do. Though, thinking about it, using them as target practice doesn’t sound so bad.”

Trick or Treat! 🎃

Send ‘Trick or Treat!  🎃’ to my inbox and I’ll give you a treat!

This could be: a promo graphic, icons, an aesthetic graphicof your muse, a drabble, a photoset of our muses together,a moodboard based on one of our threads, or some othergoodie! Happy Halloween!  Let’s celebrate!

[Note: this drabble is set in the aftermath of my RELUCTANT HERO. verse, in which Lunarre sacrificed himself, was purified, and reborn as a seraph.]

Lunarre was grateful for the seraphim’s lack of need for sleep. It meant he could travel far longer distances until weariness forced him to stop and rest his feet. Getting up from his latest break, the fire seraph continued onward down the dirt path, an expansive forest to his right and fields to his left. 

It was autumn, and the afternoon sun made the golden leaves sparkle, and their shadows quivered in the breeze.

Lunarre smiled. Being a wanderer wasn’t so bad, though somewhere to put down roots appealed to him. He wanted to find that place, the place that felt like home. This was difficult for a seraph who remembered nothing of the human life he had once lived. Out of the seraphim Lunarre had lived among since awakening, he was the one of only a handful of former humans.

None of the others had a clue as to his former identity, and none his kindred spirits were especially bothered by the fact that their past lives were a mystery. They couldn’t understand why Lunarre was so bothered by it, and tried to discourage any attempt to reclaim those lost memories.

It was that which made Lunarre realise his time with them was over. Ignoring their warnings - tempting malevolence among them - Lunarre set off on a journey to discover the man he had once been, and the life he had left behind.

Lunarre huffed as he recalled their annoying whines, telling him he was better off how he was now. Bullshit. They were just content leading endlessly peaceful unutterably boring lives. Their bliss came from ignorance, and Lunarre was a man who hated to wilfully live in the dark.

Suddenly he spotted a figure sitting against the trunk of a tree a little further along the path, deeply engrossed in writing. He grasped a large quill in his hand, scribbling intently. 

Immediately Lunnare could sense that this was yet another seraph like himself. He - or she, Lunarre was too far away to tell - had long black hair and the seraph’s getup (the red and white aesthetic specifically) led him to believe he (or she) was a fire seraph like himself.

Lunarre walked closer, but the seraph was so engrossed in his writing (yup, definitely male) that he didn’t notice.

Lunarre spoke up, raising his voice.

“Yo, kid.”

He shot the seraph a wave as the scribe jumped and looked up in surprise. Understandable, but then the seraph kept on staring, mystified, as if he had never seen another living person in his life.

Confused, Lunarre opened his mouth to ask what the matter was, when the seraph suddenly said, in a quavering voice: “Lunarre?”

Lunarre was so dumbstruck he simply gaped at the sitting figure. This seraph knew him.

“Y-yes. Who–?”

Before Lunarre could get three words out, arms flung around his neck as the fire seraph threw himself bawling into his shoulder. The seraph blubbered words through his sobs but he was so overcome Lunarre could only make out snatches of information.

“… your voice… I knew… stupid, stupid idiot…! They… they told me you… to save… oh why didn’t you call me? I could … helped you… I could’ve… saved you! … idiot! I thought…  I thought I’d never - oh you’re BACK…!”

Unable to bear it any longer, Lunarre grabbed the whimpering seraph by the arms and held him at arm’s length.

“Hey! Get ahold of yourself!”

The fire seraph sniffed, taking breaths to recover. Finally, he calmed down enough to look at Lunarre. Lunarre’s eyes widened.

The seraph was blind.

Sighing, the seraph took Lunarre’s hands in his.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just… been a long time.”

Lunarre didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, all the burning questions in his mind vanished and were replaced by feelings so confused he could scarce give them a name.

The seraph smiled a small, sad smile.

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

Lunarre started, but after a moment he shook his head. As painful as it was, there was no point in hiding the truth.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need,” said the seraph. “It’s the way of things.”

“I want to remember!”

Lunarre’s outburst made the seraph start and stare.

“I want to remember… that time. Please,” he implored, “please help me remember. I want to remember what you were to me. Everything!”

The seraph bit his lip, tears welling up again.

“We were friends. Weird friends, but friends.”

“Help me!” Lunarre couldn’t stand the defeated look in the seraph’s eyes. “Help me…”

“Kimuri.”

“Kimuri!”

The seraph paused. 

“Alright. I’ve never in all my years seen a former-human seraph regain memories of their past life, but…” He smiled again, and it was brighter this time. “You’ve done the impossible before. Kicked its butt, actually.”

Lunarre hadn’t the faintest idea what Kimuri was referring to, but there was time, plenty of time, to hear all about it. His heart danced in his chest, and he couldn’t stop smiling.

“This is so awesome! Gramps, you’ve gotta tell me everything!”

Kimuri smiled and finally let go of Lunarre’s hands.

“I will. Wait - ‘gramps’?”

“Er - yeah.” Lunarre grinned somewhat sheepishly. “You’re way older than me, right? But… sorry, I won’t - ”

“No.” Kimuri’s smile was strange. Wistful. “I don’t mind.”

Lunarre grinned.

“OK, Gramps.”

Kimuri packed his writing things away and the two seraphim set off down the path together. The old fire seraph talked, cried, and talked, while Lunarre listened in awe. He learned of places and people he had known, people who would surely be waiting for him. His first port of call was Ladylake, and Kimuri knew the way. 

Sometimes the seraph would touch Lunarre’s arm to make sure he was really there. Lunarre didn’t mind. He was happier than could remember being before.