Promises On The Oak Tree

Promises on the Oak tree

"can you hold me?" He asked so simply, so calmly unlike what he truly felt.

They were sat on the bark of the Oak tree in the forbidden forest in the silence of the night after everyone had gone to sleep and they had managed to sneak past the doors to be with each other.

Draco nodded, "of course."

He brought his arms closer and wrapped them around Harry's body while Harry tried to hold onto him. He leaned his face over Draco's shoulder and stayed silent. Draco knew something was up, he had known it all day when he noticed Harry in the great hall in the morning barely speaking to anyone and spending most of his day away from any sort of company but unfortunately he had no idea what had actually happened and he was afraid that Harry would only want silence and peace that day.

They stayed silent for a really long time, long enough for Draco to cast a warming charm on both of them and for his mood to become more worrisome as to what had really happened until he finally decided one had to speak up and it had to be him.

"Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry only nodded but Draco knew after having been together long enough that he wasn't okay, there was something and Harry only wanted a little time and a little more comfort to finally talk about it.

"You know I love you, right?" Draco said suddenly.

Harry looked up at Draco almost confused.

"I don't know what happened but I'm here with you for whatever you want and I love you, I just want you to know that."

Harry shook his head suddenly, "It's just- Somedays are harder than the others."

Draco gently took hold of one of Harry's hands and intertwined their fingers together.

"I- I don't know what happened but I've just been strange all day and Ron and Hermione kept bothering me about it. You know those sort of days where you don't even know what's wrong but you're just- kind of thinking of every possible thing wrong about yourself?"

Draco frowned but Harry didn't look at him.

"I don't know what came over me but something just doesn't feel right.. it's almost like I don't even like myself anymore, that maybe I haven't for a while. These nightmares someday become too real that I start believing that i deserve it, that you-know-who is getting in my head and coming after me, that maybe I deserve it and everyone hates me at school, I deserve it. I know it's wrong but somedays are harder than the others and I forget the lines between what's real and what's not and I delve into that anxiety of never being good enough- and I don't know how to fix that. I've never known how to fix it."

Draco for the first time in their relationship ever wanted to throw Harry off a cliff for thinking he could ever deserve all those things. It made him so mad but he instantly became so upset because Harry was the most precious thing in the whole world and he deserved the absolute best and it was a shame that he couldn't make him believe that.

But Draco nodded, "Some days are worse than the others, I agree but we can't get hung up on those bad days, can we? If we keep falling into what we think we deserve and what we actually deserve, the world would fall into crisis. But we all have those days, you know. I have days myself when I feel so low that I just want to stay curled up in my bed all day and keep thinking over what people in the halls say about me but then I think about you and I realise that in every hall In the world you'll still love me same, my friends would still love me the same and probably my parent's too. The solution is not to sulk into those thoughts but to think of all the people who oppose our fears and I for one can tell you Harry Potter, you deserve the best in the whole universe."

"But how do you get out of that train of bad thoughts?" He asked.

Draco shrugged, "you gotta believe in the people who love you for a reason. Look, I know it's hard but there are people out there who love you for a reason and you have to believe their reasons and I know it's hard because believing the bad things is easier than the good things but we have to let our feelings slide and learn to love ourselves a little more."

"But what if I never learn how to love myself?"

Draco stared at Harry for long enough to feel water prickling at his eyes. How could an amazing person like him remotely even think about not being good enough?

"Then I'll do the loving on both our parts. I'll love you till you learn to love yourself, even if it rakes forever, I'll be here to show you exactly why you deserve all the love in the world."

And then Harry finally met his eyes and gave him a small smile, "I'll never understand why you love me but I'm glad you do."

"I'm glad you're glad I love you."

"you'll be here? For as long as it takes?"

"For as long as it takes."

"I love you, Draco."

And he loved him, too.

I know I'm updating after so long but today I finally had the time and the motivation to write and all I could do was putting first thing in my head in the prompt.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @dearly-devoted-dawdler @drarrywords

@drarrywords is incredible and cute, nobody's telling me otherwise 😭

Draco: why is Harry crying?

Ron *eating a sandwich*: oh, that's because he doesn't have his life together

Draco to Harry: Mind if I join?

Two gays crying together 👍

I realised today how much we put ourselves into our own writings, be it a mere fascination of something we once had, be it our most rational fear or traumas, but I'm in love with the saying "we put a piece of ourselves into our works." Our works resonates us, in every sense of these words. We actually put too many pieces of ourselves, fragments of our past in every character we write, in every action of a role into our works and it amazes me because more often than not we don't realise just how much we do that. We know in the back of our heads that it is exactly how we'd do it but we never learn the courage to say it out loud if not embodied in someone else in writing and the whole time we end up looking for pieces of our own selves. We leave shreds into our works because maybe a part of us is afraid to let those things out because we're afraid what would happen if we did say it out loud.

It's that we leave homes in what we write, we create home in every story/fiction/fanfiction/book/art we've ever written or worked on and even if we may never look back at it again, we know it's still there, that home still exists. The idea of our works being our first home is one of the most beautiful thing ever.

Heyy I just wanna say that I love your account and that you're such a wonderful writer and I absolutely love your December fics. Keep it up honestly, it's so refreshing to read. Much thanks for writing them. I can't wait for more.

Honestly whoever you are... This means the world to me right now. I've felt down about writing lately and out of my zone but this is exactly what I needed today so thank you so much for this 💜

Remember everything

Word 2: Church

He softly grazes the top of the wooden bench as he breathes deeply.

There's always been some sort of peace he finds in sitting inside the church after hours when nobody comes inside, when it's almost closing down and the bell starts ringing for midnight. He thinks maybe it comes from being brought to church when he was a little boy and would sit quietly. Even as a little kid, he knew it was the most peaceful place in the world and today, he could use some peace.

Somehow the war was not ending. It was growing incredibly harder and harder to stay inside the manor with Voldemort practically living in one of the quarters making all of their lives miserable but what option did he have. He couldn't run away, he couldn't step back, he couldn't fight back, he was pretty much helpless and out of all of this, he was worried sick about Harry.

The ministry was very stuck on trying to find Harry, no.1 wanted criminal but wherever Harry was hiding, it was better that way.

But tonight Draco felt lonely. He remembers the last Christmas he had with Harry and he wishes he could go back in time and live that day over and over again, just because it was the last perfect moment they had.

"I bought you something." Harry said giving a calming smile.

"You really didn't have to, Harry." Draco insisted. Harry had already given him 2 gifts and he was worried Harry might just never stop.

"This is the last one, I promise." Harry said.

Draco sighed and then nodded, "Show me then.".

Harry smiled again and he fetched a small box from his pocket and opened it.

It was a small locket of a snitch.

"This is a replica of the snitch we followed in our first match. I couldn't think of anything but we both love quidditch and we do have some weird recollection of trying to catch the snitch against each other the first time. I want you to have this, as something to remember me by." Harry explained.

Draco was immediately about to cut Harry off and say something like, they don't need remembering or anything but Harry cut him off to that.

"I don't want to be negative but just look at my history. There's somebody inside the castle who's trying to kill Dumbledore and have me for Voldemort. It's always been clear that one day I'll have to face voldemort and I have a feeling that it'll come sooner than I imagined. I always get in trouble every year and you say I have survival instincts of a cat but I'm not trying to be funny- it's just, we both know that this relationship is not bound to be forever, you and I have always been aware of it but I don't want either one of us to forget this. So, this locket represents that I won't forget you and I hope you won't forget me either." Harry said almost too sadly at the end.

Draco felt overwhelmed, a lot. He wasn't a man of many emotions but right now his heart felt so heavy that he wanted to cry. It deeply saddened him because he was firstly betraying Harry and he could never find the courage in himself to tell Harry the truth but also because he knew that he would be the reason why the relationship would end and it would end very soon.

He looked at Harry for a moment then shook his head, "Harry, no matter what, no matter what goes down, I want you to know that I will always remember you, always love you."

But he knew it'd be their last Christmas.

"I love you too, Draco. I'll always remember you and always remember how you loved me."

Draco smiled sadly at Harry then turned away for a moment to discard his thoughts about telling him the complete truth but he knew the damage it'd do to Harry, so he chose not to. He finally said, "Put it around my neck."

And Harry did and they laughed a bit about how it ruined Draco's aesthetics but also fit quite right in but they enjoyed the last few moments in that forest, the togetherness, the warmth, the embrace before the fall.

Until Draco finally touched the locket and said, "I'm never taking it off, ever. I'll carry it with me forever."

And he meant it.

Sitting in that Church in silence, exactly a year after it happened, he traced the locket in his hand, ran circles around it and shed a tear. He rested his head against the bench and whimpered wishing Harry safety and comfort and he just hoped that Harry was still alive. He wanted Harry to win the war so badly. He needed Harry to win the war so they could finally be together again. He needed Harry to win the war for the whole wizarding world, for past, present and the future, for everything.

He stayed there a while until it was too late and the lights were starting to turn off and he knew he should leave but he needed to do one last thing.

He took out his wand and cast a patronus.

"Find him and tell him to be safe. Tell him, I miss him tonight the most and that I love him more than life itself. Tell him, I still remember everything and I always will."

And the patronus went right through the window and the final lights shut off casting darkness inside the whole church. Draco stood up as he heard Christmas Carol going off somewhere and thought about approaching those voices. It came from behind the streets and he looked at the choir sing from the far corner, not to be seen by anyone. He was about to leave and go back to the manor when a bright blue flamed stag patronus came in front of him and said nothing but went right through where Draco's locket rested and Draco needed no other words.

He walked back home holding the locket close to his chest, "I remember everything."

Projecting my little sadness into this

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @littlebodybigheartttt @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @inflation-of-mind @dearly-devoted-dawdler @drarrywords @loves-to-read-fanfic