Person A: "I'll Take You Apart With My Teeth."

Person A: "I'll take you apart with my teeth."

Person B: "...In a sexy way or a cannibalistic way?"

Person A: *smiling* "One of those, yes."

Optional Person A responses:

"Why not both?"

"It's a surprise."

Just "Yes."

Now here's a serious question: in Valisthea, are dragoons (and everyone if they have the training) able to naturally jump like this, or do they have to be using magic - perhaps Light magic specifically? Some of Dion's attack jumps are specifically using Light magic to create the shockwave, but in this instance we see he doesn't have to be doing a Jump/Dive attack to be able to just launch himself further than any regular jump should manage.

One of the more hilarious things in the game is that the jump button for Clive makes him jump like a NORMAL PERSON. Unlike in, say FF13 (the sequels especially where there is a designated jump button), he can't naturally launch himself from a dead stop to arguably higher than his own height (magically enhanced or not). I question the inclusion of a jump button if it's going to be so useless and you have Garuda powers to launch you in the air if necessary.

So does that mean in Sanbreque, with their prejudices against Bearers, technically the dragoons are using some kind of magic-infused armor or weapons while still not wielding actual magic themselves? Is Dion the only one capable of using a Jump/Dive without it needing to be an attack? Is this why Dion always has his spear when he Primes - to help him focus his magic? When shit went down in Twinside, he Primed *without* holding his spear, but it was present when he eventually De-primed, suggesting that it is somehow tied to his Prime (or the devs needed him to have his spear in the next cutscene and didn't want us to think about it that hard).

Sidenote: why did the game feel it necessary to tease Dion dying here? Did it feel like that to anyone else? Like "I will be with you anon" as the last man to fight to buy the ship enough time to eacape...and he does - proving in the process that he is far better to be the last man buying the ship time when Clive's escape against the Sleipnirs ended with him barely clinging to the Enterprise and telling Mid to punch it. Dion is able to actually jump a long distance even when the ship is taking off. Cool. But why focus on Dion buying them a few extra seconds? Just to show off for ONE scene? Why did it feel like they were teasing that he might not make it...when he easily does?

Anyway, I rant as always

DION LESAGE ↳ Elusive Jump

I need more semi-prime Dion in my life. 🥰

I'm imagining him having the same Bahamut wings Clive has when he uses Bahamut's power.

Quick edit imagining a semi-prime Dion.

And then they aren't finished and haven't been updated since 2011 and you feel the urge to write a fanfiction about that fanfiction but feel as though you can't live up to that legacy -

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

Okay but like,

If there were 10 million demons ready for Armageddon in the first season, how is Hell severely understaffed by Season 2? I believe Neil stated somewhere that Ligur was probably the first demon in a long time to have been properly killed off completely (rather than just discorporated), and I'm certain Hell isn't very organized or motivational, but are they just...putting a ton of their people into punishments that occupy them or something? Where did the 10 million demons ready for Armageddon go in the couple years after the failed attempt? Or did Adam's meddling to avert it somehow disarm both sides in such a way?

Gabe and Beez both complained about the hassle it was to get their respective sides to stand down, but did that involve a lot of locking down and imprisoning/torturing some of them to make them unavailable? Did a bunch of demons just quit and leave? Are demons even allowed to quit (I'd assume not)? If so, are they being punished for wanting to quit or did they try leaving to the human world? Did they try fleeing to the stars in space?

It's hilarious that Shax is ready to bring out an entire army to get Gabriel in the bookshop and yet is challenged by the lack of just available staff, but also confusing to me, who thought Hell would certainly have those numbers - and otherwise I have no explanation as to why there wouldn't be many demons just available, even if not war-bound. I mean an excuse to leave their boring desk jobs and the shitty basement office for even a little while? Even if it was an underwhelming bookshop-raid, why wouldn't all the demons at least be curious?

I mean then again maybe both sides were lying about their numbers and all these questions are moot.

I need an absolutely CHONKY computer, lifting it will be the only cardio I get, you feel me? Gimme all my ports and connectors back, and I need to be able to spill my drink all over that keyboard and NOTHING will happen to it. I wants all the RAM and all the storage, you don't understand - or do you?

You know what, fuck it, I don't *want* some frivolous, artisanal, lighter-than-air computer with no customizability, no upgradeability, no reparability, no ports, and a lifetime of *maybe* 3 years if you're lucky. I want a fucking great BEAST of a computer that's designed to last a minimum of 50 years, with ports up the wazoo and optional drives for every kind of media! I want modular components that you can drop in a bog for a year, dry them off, and have them still work fine! I want them to make a noise like "ker-chunk!" when you slide them into place! I want a switch that you pull to turn it on! And I don't want software that constantly forces you to get a pointless, cosmetic "upgrade" every few months either! I want durability! I want longevity! I want satisfying haptics! I want Silicon Valley to go fuck itself!