Dostoevsky Is Disappointed In Humans.

Dostoevsky is disappointed in humans.

“They're sinful and stupid” — Fyodor says out loud.

“They're ungrateful and don't love me” — that part stays quiet.

“Maybe, nothing about me is lovable after what I've done”.

This thought quietly digs its claws into his mind.

Fyodor and his God. How does Dostoevsky see him? BSD analysis.

God is the only entity Dostoevsky seems to love genuinely. So I've been cracking my brain up about how Fyodor "experiences" His presence. What he imagines God as.

As a bright light? A warm embrace? What else?

One thing for sure: Fyodor's faith is strong. And I think that it's partially due to how many near-death experiences he had.

Some people report seeing visions of the heaven/loved ones/afterlife in the moment of dying. What they see differs from person to person, but it's often connected to the collective subconscious and has some religious undertones. In the moments like this brain's working overtime to increase it's gamma activities and problem-solve it's way out of death. It almost feels like dreaming.

I wounder, how many of these dreamy visions Fyodor saw. How many times did he fly through the dark tunnel towards the heavenly light and only to "woke up" in his new body? How many times did he come close to "attaining" God and then was pulled away into his earthly existence again?

It probably cemented his beliefs in Paradise, and the fact that at least some people go there when they die.

Maybe, Dostoevsky's special ability has somehow influenced the way he views God too. And it's also shaped the way in which Fyodor eventually plans to "unite" with Him.

You know, Dostoevsky's whole gist is to get killed, then "fused" with his killer, replace them and then adopt some aspects of their personality?

It goes like this:

Someone kills him -> Fyodor respawns -> He absorbs some of the feelings of the person who tried to murder him before

It's an automatic response created by his ability. Dostoy lived through it over and over. It's probably imprinted into his subconsciousness.

And what's God? Traditionally, he's seen as all-embracing love, forgiveness and peace.

What if Dostoevsky thinks that if "God" kills him, he will get to experience all of this?

He will act so horribly and sinfully that God will try to kill him… Personally. Will he be able to "fuse" with God, using his ability? And become the "love, light, peace" he earned to experience for eternity?

Does it mean that "God's" presence will entirely erase Fyodor's personality and overpower him, so he would no longer have to be a sinner and an ability user?

Maybe, being "killed" by God is a way for Fyodor to return his soul to where it belongs.

Nikolai fought against God in order to lose the sight of himself.

Fyodor fought for God in order to become one with him. And probably lose the sight of himself as well.

It's interesting, how they have similar goals of self-erasure, but go about them in the opposite ways.

No wounder Gogol thought of them as besties.

Asagiri said that Fyodor would gift his lover a country (or a land).

Do you know what country this would be?

A Promised Land 💀

Dostoevsky would literally send his loved one to Heaven. So he can reunite with them later. And anyway, if earth is such a horrible place, why would Dostoy want his lover to stay there?

By this definition, Fyodor has already "confessed" to so many people. Since he has murdered so much, maybe, he is poly? Who knows 🤔

Maybe, Dostoy wants to go to Paradise and have a harem there. So if he kills someone he fancies, this person's soul just teleports to heaven and joins other people Dostoy has "picked" to be together.

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I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN ASAGIRI

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Tagging @faggylittleleatherboy @prongsfish @ninety-two-bees @sommerregenjuniluft and whoever wants to