Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH6 - Another Faded Polaroid

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH6 - Another Faded Polaroid

*NOTE: THIS STORY IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE MEMBERS IN REAL LIFE, IT IS PARTLY BASED ON THE CONTENT FROM THE MUSIC VIDEOS AND COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!! They're not actually mean it's just for the story 😭

(BEOMGYU POV)

It's lunch break, and I walk behind my friends on the sidewalk. I force a laugh and smile whenever they turn to me, but for the most part, I'm in my own world right now. I enjoy talking to Y/N, it's the only time I can talk about myself without judgement. My friends... I haven't tried talking to them about it. I have a feeling they wouldn't know what it's like to walk into a room and know everyone, and yet not a single seat has been saved for you.

As for my father, he always seems angry at me. I think he thinks I'm on the wrong track, and forcing me to think 'practically' is helping me so I don't regret my choices later. I just wish he had more faith in me, so he wouldn't assume that my choices are ones I'd come to regret.

I don't know Y/N that well. I don't know why she asked me to be her date to prom, she could've asked anyone. Maybe she figured I wasn't going with anyone else, which starts my racing thoughts. Worries of can everyone else see my insecurities? Is it obvious? Can everybody tell that I don't know what the hell I'm doing? I don't know.

And I do feel sometimes like I shouldn't be so honest with her. But, every time I turn to her, she always seems like she's listening to every word I say.

And right now, I just need someone to talk to.

"Beomgyu, you listening?"

"Huh?" I lift my head.

"So, I wanna give you another chance. I haven't told Minji yet, so you can still go out with her friend!"

I stumble over my words, "I-, I thought I said I wasn't interested"

Yeonjun laughs, "well, yeah, but that's just cause Y/N was there. It's nice of you to try to spare her feelings, but she's holdin' you back, bro"

"It had nothing to do with her. I just don't have time for something like that.. right now" I stammer.

"C'mon man, we all know she has a crush on you"

My face flushes, "why would you even SAY that? Y/N just-"

"You can be so oblivious," Yeonjun sighs, "Y/N is WAY obsessed with you. But don't miss out on something good because you're pitying her"

I grit my teeth, "I'm not pitying her. And I don't want to date your friend. I already told you"

Under my breath, I mutter, "sometimes, I don't even want to be your friend"

My friends stop as Yeonjun takes a firm step towards me, "what did you say to me?"

Suddenly, I no longer feel like the lost boy who stuck with friends who were no good for him because he was lonely. A rush of confidence takes over as I smirk, "Yeonjun, I'm starting to think you have a listening problem.

Or is it just your ego?"

He strides towards me, "what makes you think you can talk back to me? You think you're so cool now that one girl looks your way?"

"You always walk all over me like I'll come running back. Like you're better than me. What makes you think you can talk back to me?" I mock, "last I checked, this is just how you and me talk to each other now, Yeonjun"

He pushes me down to the sidewalk, "c'mon guys. Let's go"

And they follow behind him. Just like I knew they would. I look at the scrapes on my hands, then to their backs as they walk away.

Well, I knew this was going to happen eventually, right?

-----

(2 Days Later)

It's been a while since I've been to school. I didn't want to have to face Yeonjun. Or the others. I wanted them to think I was strong, and that their words couldn't hurt me. I felt like... if they saw me cry, they'd use it against me. In the moment, I felt like none of it hurt. Like it was the end of an era of pain and bottled-up feelings and tolerating it because it was all I had. They were all I had.

It was more than any one moment could capture, it was the culmination of many moments that I told myself weren't worth fighting over. Times when I'd get talked over. Times when I wasn't invited, and they'd come up with some excuse as to why. When there was a separate group chat. When I wasn't there for the inside jokes that, apparently, can't be retold. But it wasn't always this way.

Me and Yeonjun had been friends for years, way before the rest came along. We would spend so long just talking. I felt like he got me better than anyone else could. Then the rest came. It wasn't all at once, but slowly, more and more people were added to our friend group. I no longer felt like I was Yeonjun's best friend, even though he was mine.

Up until a few days ago, he still was.

He didn't use to care so much about what other people thought of him. Something changed. He wanted to be cool, he wanted respect, he wanted to get the girl he'd been chasing for years. And I was just someone from his past. Another faded polaroid. And he never wanted to take a new one.

So, I tried to make new friends. Tried to talk to others, break into the conversation. It seemed like having friends that treated me poorly was still better than being all on my own.

I went back to them. I accepted that I'd be walking in the bike lanes while they stayed on the sidewalk. I learned how to look busy when they were telling a joke I wasn't there for. I learned to be less so they could be more. So they could take more. Because on the outside, no one can tell that I don't have friends. No one can tell that inside, I'm still on the outside. And I thought that could be enough. It would have to be.

I haven't told her, but I noticed Y/N from the beginning. It was all so familiar. The panicked glances at the announcement of a group project, the seat in the back of the room, the headphones that weren't plugged into anything. Maybe that's why I felt so comfortable talking to her, it was like I already knew her.

I hope my friends-, er... I hope my old friends didn't notice that my hands were still shaking as I talked back to them. I wanted them to think I was indifferent about it all, I wanted them to think that. But... I'm not strong. Once they'd fled, I cried my eyes out. Because even if it was for the best, it still hurts. So I haven't been to school in days because I don't know how I will act when I see them again.

———

For the first time today, I pull myself out of bed and walk into the kitchen. I reach for a glass and fill it with water. Then my dad walks in.

He clears his throat, "are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah" I mutter.

He walks to the stove and begins cooking something.

"I heard you were having some trouble with your friends"

"Who told you that?" I ask.

"Your mom" he clarifies.

"Oh" I said.

I sit at the counter and slowly drink my water. It's silent, besides the sounds of him cooking. However, it isn't tense like it has been in the past. Just a normal father and his son.

He breaks the silence, "Y'know, I get how you feel"

"You do?"

"I've had fights with friends before too. It's hard when you had people you could be yourself around, and then you have to walk past them like strangers" he continues, "did you fight, or just fall out of touch?"

"Well, Yeonjun's not the same anymore. He used to be so fun, but... now he's just weird and obsessed with being cool. I was getting annoyed at him walking all over me, so I told him that. And..."

"Yeah. 'S probably because he's insecure, lots of teens act that way" he turns down the heat on the stove, "but you shouldn't be around people that are bringing you down"

"Mhm" I stare into the glass.

It's not common for me to go to my dad for advice, but I'm finding that he does actually know how I feel pretty well.

"Hey dad?"

"Yeah?" He answers while turning to me.

"Will... will I ever make real friends?"

He ponders on it for a moment, "it's hard when you're young. I think as you get older, you'll meet new people and it's easier to find friends that you actually have fun with"

Then, I think of Y/N. She always listens to me, and she's funny and kind, and when I talk to her I never feel like I'm putting up an act.

"How do you get closer to someone that you're only kinda friends with?"

"Hmm, that's a hard question," my dad answers, "ask them questions. Get to know them. People like talking about themselves." He finishes the food he's cooking and grabs a bowl from the cabinet to put it in, "just be open to people. Don't close yourself off. Let people get to know you, and you'll find people that like you. People that you can be yourself around"

He passes the bowl to me, "I made you some soup"

I look down at the steam rising from the soup, "thank you, dad"

He nods and walks out of the kitchen. Just before he leaves, he says, "I hope you feel better soon"

I smile, "thanks dad"

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH7 - Back at It Again

(BEOMGYU POV)

It was time for me to go back to school. I'd stayed home for a while, but I have history again today, and I can't leave Y/N to do all the work on her own. At this point, I can no longer avoid my old friends. I have to go. I have to be brave enough to try.

I throw on a baggy gray sweatshirt and shove my phone into the pocket. Then I grab my backpack and walk out to the doorway, tying the shoelaces of my yellow converse.

"Ready to go?" My older brother asks.

"Yeah" I open the door and we leave. The jingle of his several keychains can be heard as he unlocks the car door and we hop in.

He turns up the volume of some rock song. We drive in silence to school. As we wait to turn into the school parking lot, he speaks.

"So, finally going my back?"

"Yeah, can't hide from my ex-friends forever" I say.

He nods, "I think you'll be okay, Beomgyu"

I look to him in confusion, "Really?" I ask.

"Yeah, you're pretty tough. You've been through a lot, but you always pull through. I mean, look at your music. Even with everything else, you can work really hard when you want something"

I look away as a smile forms on my face, "thanks"

We slow as he parks the car. I grab my bag and close the door behind me.

"Hey," my brother says as he pats my back, "you got this"

I smile, "thank you, bro"

Then I walk to my class. When I go with my brother to school, I'm always a little late. The halls are empty, just the other late kids rushing (or not) to class.

I gently open the door to the classroom and walk in. I try to be quiet, but even the lightest of footsteps seem loud. I notice Yeonjun first, a dark glare from the seat next to mine. Then I see Y/N. She gives me a happy, reassuring smile. And I smile too.

------

The bell rings. As my old friends walk past, most of them ignore me, or give me a cold gaze, or even pretend to be happy and distracted. But Yeonjun... the look in his eyes is different. I knew him well enough to know.

It was forced, it wasn't even mean. It was almost, pained. Lonely. He looked sad. Like he was trying to seem cool and unfazed, but the shock in his eyes and the bags under them proved otherwise. I drop my head back down to my desk.

Once everyone had left, I pulled my backpack over my shoulders and walked out, alone. Except as I exit the room, I'm met with someone else.

"Hi!" Y/N greets.

"Oh, hey" I say.

"You've been gone a while, I was worried"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll catch up on the work for our project, I just-"

"Not about the project!" She stammered, "about you"

I look into her eyes. My shoulders slump down at her expression.

"You were?"

"Y-yeah," she blinked, "so, is everything okay? are you feeling any better?"

"Well, It's still been rough," I sigh, "but I'm doing better"

Her eyes light up, "that's good! While you were gone, I-"

She stops as her eyes widen, "n-nevermind" her expression falls flat and she purses her lips, "I should get to class"

"What? Is something wrong?" I grab her shoulder.

She turns to me. Her face has significantly paled, "no, everything is fine. I have to go"

I watch as she runs away. She isn't even moving in the direction of class, just away from me. What's going on with her?

------

After school, I head to the library to meet Y/N and work on our project. I set the table with my laptop, textbook, everything we need to get to work. Then I watch the clock and wait.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Minutes go by as I sit alone. My mind wanders, has she stood me up too? Did Yeonjun spread some mean rumor while I was gone? And I flinch as I think, does she hate me now, too?

But... she was worried about me. And I know she was. Her feelings emanate from her like an aura, so genuine, you'd be stupid to doubt them. She's my friend, probably my best friend these days.

So I open her number on my phone, typing out a quick message:

Me: Where are you? We're still working after school today, right?

I wait even longer. But it's been 40 minutes now. I even try calling her, but no one answers. Panic builds in my stomach, did something happen to her?

I decide to pack up my things and try going to her house. Something's up, she's been weird all day. I need to make sure she's okay.

Written in the Pages (RM) CH8

"That's a terrible idea, Namjoon" Jin snarks.

"I thought a serenade sounded sweet.." Hoseok said.

"He's talked to her like,, twice??? And your plan is to follow her home? Bad idea."

"Yeah, Jin's right." Yoongi adds.

Jimin pipes up, "What if you wrote her a card?"

I think for a moment, "Isn't that too... obvious?"

"What's wrong with obvious?" He asks, "It can't be worse than stalking her and singing her four lines in the middle of her house, can it?"

I sigh, "what would I even write in a card?"

"Something like Oh Y/N~ I'm so in love with you! Every night when I go to bed I dream of kissing you-"

"sHUT UP!" I groan as I cover my face.

~

𝄆 Y/N POV 𝄇

Falling in love is like picking flower petals. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. One day I think he likes me, the next I'm sure he doesn't.

Love is a beautiful thing, but sometimes it can be so hard. Does he like me? Why else would he go to all this effort for me? But at the same time, why would he want me when he could have anyone?

I might love him, but sometimes I just feel so insecure at the thought of him.

I think back to when me and Namjoon last talked. He had tried to talk to me, explaining that he did care. But I had jumped to conclusions and let my insecurities get the best of me. Was I the reason he wasn't talking to me? He must be giving me space because he thinks I'm mad at him.

I grab my phone and open it up to instagram. Messaging him, I write:

"Hey Namjoon. I'm sorry I didn't let you finish what you were saying last time... I guess I just got caught up in my anger. It wasn't fair to you"

After a while, I see three little dots.

𝄆 NAMJOON POV 𝄇

I typed out a message to her:

Me: Wait, so you're not mad at me?

Y/N: Of course I'm not mad at you! I thought you were mad at me..

Y/N: I... overheard these girls saying that you were just hanging out with me as a joke.. I know you would never do something like that! I just....

Y/N: I just started to feel like I wasn't good enough for your friend group

Me: Don't listen to them. We decide whose good enough for us, not them. I'm sorry they made you feel that way.

Y/N: Can I ask you something?

Me: Anything

Y/N: Just out of curiosity, what type of person would you date?

I pause. Do I tell her? Do I tell her what I've tried to tell her multiple times now?

No. I can't tell her over instagram DMs. When I tell her how I feel, I want it to be special.

Me: Someone smart, funny, pretty,

Someone like you.

Me: What about you? What type of guy would you date?

Y/N: I don't know haha. I haven't really thought about it.

Me: Would you consider... someone like me?

Y/N: ...maybe

Y/N: would you consider someone like me?

My thumb starts to type 'yes', but right as I'm about to press send my screen turns black.

"Shoot! My phone died!"

I'm not having another misunderstanding. Our conversations keep getting interrupted. If I can't send her the text, then I'm just going to have to tell her in person.

Tomorrow I will tell Y/N how I feel.

~

I rush into school. It's 8:00am still, plenty of time before class starts. I walk into the classroom to find Y/N sitting at her desk, a book open on her table.

"Y/N" I call out.

She glances up at me, worry painting her face.

"Y/N. I need to tell you something"

The classroom is empty, as class doesn't start for another half hour. Yellow sunlight paints the desks, slowly tilting as the sun continues to rise. The light brushes over her hair, highlighting a few strands that excitedly bounce up as she lifts her head.

"What is it?"

"I-I.." I stutter, "I need to talk to you"

She bites her bottom lip, looking down, "Is it about our conversation last night? Listen, I'm really sorry about-"

"No. It's, It's about... how I feel about you"

After a pause she bursts into laughter, "about the ideal type thing? It's okay if you don't feel that way about-"

"No!"

"Stop interrupting me!" She jokes, "it's okay if I'm not your type."

"No, what I meant was that you are my type! That's what I was trying to say before... my phone died."

She gives me a deadpan look, "your phone died?"

"It did! But that's why I've decided that I'm tired of being interrupted. I need to tell you that-"

"Namjoon! How's it going!" Jin yells as he opens the classroom door.

"NO!" I shout back at him. I then turn to Y/N, "I need to tell you that I like you. I have feelings for you. That's why I keep talking to you, why I always want to have lunch with you, why I got so angry at what those people said about you, because I like you. And I want us to be more than friends. And I understand if you don't feel the same but I just needed you to know that"

She looks up at me with shocked eyes. Did I yell all of that too? She closes her book and breaks eye contact, looking out the window at students walking in to school. Jin has a wide-eyed look on his face as well, probably surprised at my sudden outburst.

"You... like me?"

"Oh yeah. He's had the biggest crush on you since last year. He's spent the last week trying to tell you, it's really kind of-"

"Jin! Shush!" I whisper-yell.

Her small smile turns to a big grin, "you've liked me since last year?"

I rub the back of my neck, "well... yeah"

She jumps up from her desk like she's about to hug me, then stops and fiddles with her fingers, "I... I like you too!"

"Really?!" I smile too, "I.. That's, can I hug you?"

She smiles and nods. I pull her into me, resting my arms on her shoulders.

"Ew, get a room you too" Jin groans.

I pull away from Y/N, "we had a room until you showed up."

He just laughs and walks away, leaving his bag at his seat. Me and Y/N smile at each other. We stay in silence until class starts, only interrupted by our awkward giggles.

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH1 - Promposal

"...huh?"

"I was wondering if you could pretend to be my date!"

Just Pretend -The Beginning-

I blend the blush outwards from my face. Reaching into a drawer, I open a similar color of pink lipstick and add just a bit to my lips. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I smile. A simple, natural look.

Then I notice my hair.

"Ugh! No matter how much I brush it out, it still looks all weird!" I run my fingers through it a few times before giving up.

I heft my bag onto my shoulders and walk out the door. As I walk to the bus stop, I contemplate my plans for the day. I had it all figured out. I was going to ask Beomgyu to prom.

Worry builds in my mind as I think about it. What if he says no? Or that he's already going with someone? What if he lies that he's going with someone in order to spare my feelings, when in reality he's not going at all?

I need a way to ask him without really asking him. Feel out wether he likes me or not before I make a move.

I ponder this as the bus rolls up to the small corner. The crowd of students around me flood into the tiny bus, most moving to the back of the vehicle. It's a bumpy ride to the school. I put in my headphones to block out the chattering students around me.

When I finally get to class, I slump down to my seat in the very back. My classmates make their way into the classroom as well. It was the first lesson of the day, and luckily, it was only 30 minutes long. We took notes as the teacher lectured. If it weren't for my messy handwriting in my notebook, I'd have no memory of what we had learned today, because I spent the whole time staring at Beomgyu.

He turns to talk to a friend sitting behind him, accidentally catching my gaze in the process. I tear my eyes away from him. I hide my heated face with my hand and try to focus on the notes. What has gotten into me? He's just a guy... He is just another student at this school. I have no reason to be so obsessed with him. This is not like me at all.

"Okay class, that's the end of the lesson for today. Remember that your homework is due at the beginning of class this Wednesday!"

Everyone is rushing out of the room as I stumble to get close to Beomgyu. He's not scary, I have no reason to be afraid of him. Yet I find my hands shaking as they grasp my textbooks. I stare at the ground as I walk past the rows of desks.

"Uh, Hi" I smile at him.

He turns to me, "Hey Y/N"

"I was wondering if you could go with me to, um, prom" I force myself to keep eye contact with him, despite wanting to run away.

"What?" he asks, a blank look on his face.

Internally, I cringe. Trying to regain my confidence, I continue, "well, I wasn't going to go to prom, but everyone keeps talking about it, and, um," I read the confusion on his face. He's going to say no. He is absolutely going to say no. I can't do this. What can I say to avoid the rejection? "I need help lying to my parents!"

His face contorts, "...huh?"

"Yeah! My mom, she has this weird fascination with my social life, and she really really wants me to ask a guy out to prom! But the thing is, I don't like anybody," I lie, "so I was wondering if you could pretend to be my date so she stops bothering me about it!"

He pauses in thought. Eventually he meets my eyes again, "I wasn't originally going to go, but I can help you out"

"Really?!" I gasp in shock that my crazy plan even worked.

"Yeah, just text me the details" he smiles softly, "wait, do you have my phone number?"

I pretend to think, "Uh, no... I don't think so"

"Here, let me give it to you" He pulls out his phone.

-----

The rest of the day I mindlessly go to my classes. I'm going to prom with Choi Beomgyu!!! Except... not really. My lie about my mom being too concerned with my social life was just supposed to soften the blow of him rejecting me. I was hoping to leave with him rejecting my promposal, but not rejecting my feelings; I figured it would be easier to handle if he didn't know that I liked him. If he thought I just asked him because I was asking everyone, and that way I would save my pride.

But he said yes. He agreed to go to prom with me. Or pretend to, anyways. So... he must like me some amount to agree to go, but I'm guessing he doesn't like-like me. my feelings aren't shared.

And that hurts.

Ding!

I turn to the kitchen table where I set my phone. As I turn it over, the screen lights up with a notification from Beomgyu:

Choi Beomgyu: What do you want me to wear for prom?

Me: I don't know... I haven't actually picked out what I'm going to wear yet haha

Choi Beomgyu: Okay

I knit my eyebrows. He must be a dry texter. Unless... Does he hate me?!

The door opens as my mom walks in, "I'm home"

"Mom!" I jump, "Hey, I have to ask you something"

"What is it?"

I take a deep breath, "Can I go to prom this Friday?"

Just Pretend (BEOMGYU) CH9 - Star

(BEOMGYU POV)

I step into the entryway of my house, untying my shoes in the doorway. My brother saunters in holding a can of coke.

"Who's your friend, Beomgyu?"

"Uh, this is my," I whisper to Y/N, "do I say we're dating? Or fake dating?" She shrugs her shoulders. I continue, "this is Y/N. We are going to work on a school project"

He just rolls his eyes and leaves the room. I look to Y/N, her eyes passing over the room. She looks a bit confused, so I try to ease the awkwardness, "sorry, welcome to my house! That was just my brother"

"Oooh," She nods.

I guide her into the hallway and past several doors to my room. She continues to scan everything, like she's finally unlocking the key to a mystery. She takes notice of all my records and CDs lining the walls and filling the bookshelves.

"Wow, a lot of music" She notes.

I stand in the corner by my guitar, "yeah, it's one of my favorite things"

She browses the albums, looking over the covers, "Ooo, you listen to Lamp?"

"Yeah! Lamp's a great band" I smile. Yes! Finally, something we can talk about!

"Right?" She agrees, "For Lovers is good... have you ever listened to Her Watch?"

"YES, Her Watch is good too," I cheer.

It gets quiet as she continues looking through my collection. She gasps every time she recognizes an artist. I just smile, excited to have a friend with common interests.

Seeing if she knows any other musicians I like, I ask, "have you ever listened to Mitski? She's good too"

"Yes! I love Mitski" she turns to me, grinning.

"Really?" I buzz, "what's your favorite song from her?"

"Hmm... definitely Star! From her newest album?"

She likes the same bands AND the same songs, "that's my favorite too! That's crazy..."

"That's so cool," she sighs, "I love the lyricism in that song... how even though their love is over, she still views the memory of it as a star. Like even though their relationship has ended, she still finds hope in it"

"Wow, I hadn't really thought about it that way before, you're totally right" I discern. Yeonjun never liked the music I liked. I would always listen to the songs he liked so we could talk about them, but... he never did that for me. It's weird to have a friend like this.

I add, "I really like that one line, 'You know I'd always been alone 'til you taught me to live for somebody'. It always... hit me, for some reason"

She looks to me, "yeah, I like that line too"

And now that she's looking at me, I notice things I never noticed before. Her smile that slowly grows as she laughs, one corner of her mouth a little higher than the other. Her smile almost reads as a smirk. She has a few freckles on her face, one on her forehead and another by her bottom lip. I notice some on her hands as well. They lightly cover her skin like stars, just enough to form a constellation.

My heartbeat picks up. I feel a thump in my chest, but it must just be from running here earlier. I don't know what else it could be.

She tears my focus from the galaxy on her face back down to Earth, "So, we should probably start working on the project, right?"

"Yeah," I mutter, "we should"

-----

As it got late and the sun dripped down behind the houses, I offered to walk Y/N home. The walk was quiet. Her walking a few steps ahead and me, me. Me and my mind spiraling about her. And me worrying about why I keep spiraling about her. Me and her.

"See you tomorrow!" She calls out from her doorway.

I wave goodbye, "yeah, tomorrow"

When I get back to my house, my brother's standing by the door with a grin, still sipping the same coke that's got to be flat by now.

"So, Y/N," he begins.

I narrow my eyes, "what about her?"

"Sure she's just a friend?" He chuckled.

I rant, "of course she's just a friend! I barely even know her. We are just two people that have the same class, and we are working on a project for that class together, and we just so happen to get along okay. It's convenient. We are just friends"

"Hm," he taunts, "if you say so"

My face heats up as he laughs at me, "w-well why would you think otherwise?"

"Well, you're definitely right, just friends. I merely noticed that yesterday you were moping about in bed all day, and suddenly when you came home, you haven't been able to get that smile off your face"

I realize that I have, in fact, been smiling this whole time. I immediately switch it to a glare and cup my face to hide the blush creeping up on me, "well, that's just 'cause we... are good friends"

"Okay," he says, "at any rate, I'm glad you have someone that's making you smile"

-----

I spent the entire night tossing and turning. In the dark of my room, I couldn't get the shine of her eyes out of my mind. Cut it out! She's just an acquaintance! Thoughts flew through my mind, how do you know if you like someone? What if she's just a good friend and I'm not used to that, so I confuse it for a crush? What if I only notice her once we no longer talk, what then? What do I do?

I hug my pillow and squeeze my eyes shut. Trying to lure myself to sleep doesn't seem to work. I decide to scroll on my phone, somehow thinking the blue light will distract me from her. A text post emerges onto my feed:

"The more you hide your feelings for someone, the more you fall for them"

I throw my phone back down onto the bed, burying my head further into my blanket. It can't be... can it?

I grab my headphones from next to my bed, putting them on and connecting them to my phone. Opening Spotify, I search up a song and press play.

Remember when we met

We acted like two fools

We were so glad

So glad to have found it

That love is like a star, it's gone

We just see it shining

It's traveled very far

Author’s Note: I know I usually don’t leave one of these, but I can’t not. It’s too silly to me. I made a post yesterday saying that this chapter would be out March 27th. But then I checked the date on my phone, and it was March 27th, I thought, “no! This needs to be out tomorrow!” So I edited the post to be March 28th. It only occurred to me today that it was so late at night when I made the post that it was already the next day XD so I hope those of you that saw my post enjoy an early upload! Also, sorry it’s been so long since the last upload! But I am back!

Coffee and Violets (SUGA) CH5 - Not Quite a Date

"No, no this won't work either."

You're currently at your apartment going through every article of clothing you own. Hoseok never told you what you should wear to this not quite a date.

It's a fancy restaurant, sure, but it's also just a meeting between two friends. You guys are just going to be talking about music, so you should stay casual, right? And if you dress too formally and he doesn't, then it'll be embarrassing and show that you were in fact greatly looking forward to this.

You decide on a simple black dress that goes to your knees. It's sleeveless, but you figure you'll only be gone for about an hour. The meeting will be over before the sun even starts to set, so you won't need to bring a jacket.

The restaurant isn't far from your apartment so you decide to walk. Arriving at the building, you're astounded by the atmosphere. Tall and wide windows peer into the room and gloss over the tables. You leave the comfort of the awning and stroll into the restaurant. A thick red doormat covers the entryway and warm, moody lighting fills the room.

"Hello Ma'am. Have you made a reservation?"

"Umm.... I'm here to meet someone?" You say with apprehension in your tone.

"Ah. What is the party name?"

Shoot. Hoseok never told me what to say! "Well, I'm here to meet someone named Yoongi.... I think?"

"That'll be right this way."

You follow him through the busy restaurant and begin to feel self conscious. Everyone here is decked out in expensive jewelry, velvety outfits and hair that must have been professionally styled. You don't fit in at all, with your hair lightly brushed and only some makeup on.

Your feelings only get worse when you find yourself at his table. He's wearing what almost looks to be a suit. he looks stunning, and for a minute you can almost imagine that this really is a date, before looking down at your attire and being reminded of the harsh reality.

"Ah, this is a bit embarrassing." You say as you sit down, "You look so nice and I'm here in what could be considered a nightgown. Ah- not to say you look nice, er,. you do look nice but I mean-"

He interrupts with his soft laughing, "Thank you, but to be honest? These are actually just my pajamas."

What kind of a person owns pajamas like that? You think to yourself. An awkward silence forms between the two of you. Finally, he breaks the silence.

"So, how was your day?" He asks you.

"It was good, and you?" You ask, desperately avoiding eye contact.

"It was pretty stressful all day, but it's better now." You can't help but look up, only to be met by his intoxicating brown eyes. Was that... a flirt? It couldn't be, he's just talking about how he's happy to be done with work for the weekend.

Despite your own awkwardness, Yoongi was able to continue the conversation smoothly. Your guys' laughter died down as you stared off onto the empty plates and glasses on the table.

"So, Hoseok told me you needed help with music?" Yoongi asked.

"Ah, yeah. I wanted to find some new music for my cafe."

"Do you have any specific genre in mind?"

"Well, the cafes I usually go to have jazz music playing. However I'm quite fond of piano music... I guess it's kind of close to me since my mom always played the piano when I was a kid."

"I play piano" he says and smiles gently.

"Really? It's such a pretty instrument. I'd love to hear you play sometime"

He rolls up his sleeve to check the time on his watch.

"Hm... it's only 5:00 pm, do you want to come over to my apartment to hear me play? Like- I can play a few styles to give you a better idea of what you're looking for..."

"Okay! Ah but first-" You try to ask him if he wants to split the bill only to see him walking over and paying for it himself. Taking Hoseok's advice, you stand idly behind Yoongi and try to just have a good time.

You two walk out of the restaurant together. The sky is painted in scarlet and orange. The walk together was silent, from the beginning to the entryway to his apartment.

When you come inside, he leads you to the main room with a brown piano at the center of it. He sits down and begins to play. Soft notes envelop the silence, swinging in a way unique to the jazz style.

When the song ends, you clap profusely and smile.

"That was amazing! How long have you been playing for?"

"Thank you, I've been playing since I was fairly young." He responds, turning away to hide his face. "Would you um... like to sit down?" He clears room on the piano bench for you to sit.

He plays a few more songs and you sway along to the rhythm. You close your eyes and sink into the comfort of his playing. After a while of discussing, you guys decided that he would record a few performances for you to play at the cafe. He also suggested making a playlist of similar music for you. You agreed.

"I might even be able to perform at the cafe eventually. If you want!- that is." He says.

"That would be wonderful, Yoongi." You smile.

You check your phone to find it 8:00pm. Shoot, did you really just spend three hours here talking about music?

"Oh it's late, I really should get going. Thank you for today. I had a great time, you were a lot of help." You turn to open the door and leave when a hand grabs your wrist.

"I can uh, walk you home."

"No no! Don't worry about it, you've already done so much."

"It's fine, I enjoy walks at nighttime. I usually don't sleep until late anyways. Plus, I'd worry if you- Hoseok would hate me if I let you walk home in the dark." A blush spreads through his face as he tries to cover up how much he cares about you. You feel a warmth on your face as well.

Walking home you feel chills run down your arms. You'd worn a sleeveless dress this evening, not thinking you'd end up staying so long. A warmth envelops you and you welcome it, until you realize. Yoongi gently draped his jacket over your shoulders. He stays quiet. You blush and turn around to look at him. Despite the low lighting, you can still see him. Though he tries not to show it, he looks incredibly flustered. Even more than you.