Double Bind Is A Situation Where A Victim Is Offered Very Few Choices, And Each Choice Will End Up In

Double Bind is a situation where a victim is offered very few choices, and each choice will end up in victim getting hurt and abused.

Abusers then simply tell the victim it was their choice to get hurt.

Victim will live in conviction that being abused is their own fault and that they hold the control over it, that only if they chose a different option, reacted differently, gave a different answer, made a different move, they wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

It’s a clever and cruel lie. There was never any choice in the first place. Abusers would have damaged the victims no matter what choice was made. And then they would say “if you chose the other thing, this wouldn’t happen.”

It’s also a systematic training to lead the victims to always decide what abuser wants them to. It’s affecting all of the victim’s decisions because the victim knows instinctively not to choose something abuser wouldn’t be happy with. Then after they get exploited, used, humiliated, taken advantage of, tortured, and continually hurt, they’ll get thrown in their face it’s them who decided to take it, it’s them who decided to “let the abuser” do this.

There is no real consent. A victim does not have a choice. Any choice is an illusion to make them feel guilty, to force them to take responsibility for being abused. Nobody consents to being abused. Nobody “lets” someone abuse them. 

Abusers know this, they know the victim never had any choice, they don’t want victims to know this, they want victims to blame themselves forever for abuser’s actions, and for suffering a psychological torture that compromised their ability to make decisions for their own benefit, and were forced to make it for abuser’s benefit. Every time a victim is forced to make a decision for the abuser’s benefit, they get hurt, they lose some of their integrity and ability to nurture and value themselves, every decision that benefits the abuser hurts the victim, the decisions that didn’t result in obvious abuse are still hurting the victim in subtle, passive ways victim will not be able to acknowledge, because they feel they made that decision. They didn’t. It was made for them. They didn’t even get a say. And then they were blamed for it. That’s what abuse of power looks like. You have no say, no way of making your decisions, no actual choice, abused no matter what you do or say, and then blamed for the entire thing. 

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transwomen donation masterlist

aka for every transphobe i had to interact with i found a link to help donate to trans women. you can definitely send me more because i bet im gonna need more.

trans women of color collective

homeless black transwomen 

black transwoman transition fund

help a transwoman escape yemen

save the gully queens of jamaica

memorial fund for bree black

transwoman of color seeking housing

memorial fund for chyna gibson

black transwoman gender affirmation fund

transition fund

medical funds (tw: r*pe)

poc transwoman transition fund

transition fund 

support trans asylum seekers (usage of q***r)

major surgery transitional fund

medical support (diabetic coma)

transitional funds

trans pride march

hrt fundraiser

reentry fund (help with housing, clothing, etc)

transitional surgery

transition fund

memorial fund for lisa bryk (tw s*icide mention in description)

transitional fund

bottom surgery fund

help two transwomen get on their feet

supports transwomen of color in legal system (and reentry)

help a transwoman escape a bad household

support a transwoman after being attacked

help for medical treatments + better living

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