Help, I've Been Inside For Days And I Can't Leave The House. I'm Slowly Going Insane.

Help, I've been inside for days and I can't leave the house. I'm slowly going insane.

Two: mention of harming ones self (not major tho I'm fine)

So went to my therapist. Well more like medicine provider but I forgot the technical term for that. And I was talking about sleep meds cuz I've had to be on sleep meds and melatonin because I have really bad sensory issues. Like meltdown and sometimes even hurting myself kind of bad. So I talked to my therapist this time and she said that I might have OCD, but I'm kind of confused cuz I also had doctors labeled me with ADHD and autism. I honestly don't know what the problem is but I just got on OCD medicine see if that helps. I would love to get a psych eval, but the closest center that does a psychopath is two cities away. It'd be an 8-hour drive going there and back and it's a major city so hotel cost and stuff like that would probably bankrupt me. My mom says that she's going to try and take me as soon as possible but we just got a new car and she's afraid that I might break down during the trip. I honestly don't know what to do I love to have some kind of diagnosis so I know what to do. I want to be able to just live like a neurotypical person. I want to be able to do things like sit on my bed or wear leggings without literally wanting to rip off my skin. I've talked to my brother about this and he said that he could believe if I was autistic because of how I acted as a kid. Again I honestly don't know what I am I just want to know I want to find it out so I can fix it as soon as possible. Cuz not only is it exhausting but it is breaking me I need help bad. Oh the joy of being poor in a capitalist society so I can't fix my own fucking problems.

So I'm big time into undertale right.

And I kept seeing this book pop-up. It was a undertale gore 'zine. And you know what they say curiosity killed the cat. Well, that bitch is definitely dead. So I read it out of curiosity.

First of all, I thought it was gonna be a horror project. I'm a huge fan of horror.

It wasn't a horror project.

Second of all, I read 2 of the stories. Coincidentally, both of them were about cannibalism. And now I don't think I'll ever be the same.

I literally read them before going to bed. And now I can't sleep.

And I kind of want to write a fan fiction based on one of the stories just to give it a happier ending.

I honestly don't know what to do with myself right now. I really thought it was just gonna be a silly goofy horror project. ITVWASNT!! 😭😭😭

@staff @support this is the second time I'm going to ask please put up some kind of moderation filter report system I don't know and I do not care I do not want to see this anymore. I come off here to get away from stuff like this. There should at least be a feature to block ads like this. Do you know how harmful and detrimental this is? I'd love to see if you have staff who are autistic because I'm baffled why they even work with you. I'm actually curious now where your funds go to cuz I swear to God if I find out that they go to autism speaks I'm going to blow my brains out!! I am so sick and tired of hearing this from literally everyone and I come on here to relax and this is what I'm greeted with literally first thing on my homepage! And I on purpose do not interact with them I don't click on the ads I scroll past them hoping that that will give a signal to whoever is posting these ads that I am not interested but they keep popping up. Please for the love of God can someone do something about this!!!

@staff can I get some reporting system on ads. Or some kind of system to show that they add should probably be looked over more than once before being put on the platform. Because as someone who's nerodivergent if I see one more ad about how so-and-so causes some kind of mental impairment I'm going to kill someone. Me taking a vaccine as a kid did not make me autistic, Becky.

It's even weirder because this entire app/platform is known for being diverse and not discriminatory. I'm starting to think that that is not true. And I don't that this went through any kind of staff regulation cuz they wouldn't be putting on here if it was. Or at least do the same thing that Google does and use targeted ads so I don't have to see this. Whatever like two biggots on Tumblr can see it then.

Please please I am begging you. I get to hear enough of it from places like autism speaks and Peta of all people.

So there's always been a debate about Chihiro and their gender identity.

A couple of years back there is a debate on whether Chihiro was supposed to be a trans woman or not. One of the biggest thing going against this theory was that they did not want to identify as a woman. It seemed that they dressed up and identified as a woman to save face. But let me introduce you into a theory I thought of, what if Chihiro was a trans man.

Think about it, they were born looking very feminine and they were always teased and ridiculed for being feminine. They dressed up feminine not because they identified with it but it's because what other people were pressuring them into. And they were never taken seriously as a man.

So the theory is that Chihiro is a trans man who is very deep in the closet. He always felt like he was a guy but because of the society around him he decided to dress more feminine to keep himself safe from bullying. Once his secret was going to be revealed he went to Mondo for help. The rest plays out as it is in both the game and show.

I don't know if I'm explaining it well but basically instead of being a trans woman he's a trans man he's basically very much in denial until his secret gets revealed. Which kind of makes it more tragic cuz once he is more comfortable in his own skin he dies.

So getting that computer is taking way longer than I expected.

Look I'm trying okay I sent in my resume a little while ago and for some reason they're taking super long to get me in and I can't buy any computer if I don't got money. I really do want to continue with my series! I'm just having a little bit of a rough time!! And I can't put out any teaser or promotional right now because I can't make it cuz I have no computer!!!!!!