Bullet Train Characters As D&D Classes And Alignements Because I Am Bored And Still Brainrotting (idk

Bullet Train characters as D&D classes and alignements because I am bored and still brainrotting (idk how many d&d and bullet train tumblr fans there are but uh yeah):

Tangerine: lawful neutral, ranger

Lemon: neutral, paladin

Ladybug: chaotic good, bard

Wolf: chaotic neutral, fighter

The Elder: lawful good, cleric

The Father: neutral good, wizard

The Prince: lawful evil, rogue

The White Death: neutral evil, sorcerer

The Hornet: chaotic evil, warlock

On today's news: former Theo hater slowly descends into madness as they start shipping him and Liam. It's me, I'm the former Theo hater. Please help.

Characters I headcanon as non-binary and/or doesn't care about gender, because projecting is my thing, and also 🐛vibes🐛:

Charlie, Dead Poets Society

Inigo, Princess Bride

The Stranger, Rings of Power

Arthur, Inception

Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter

Mary, Pride and Prejudice

Hareton, Wuthering Heights

Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Carribean

Shi Qingxuan, Heaven Official's Blessing

Xiao Xingchen, The Untamed

Haru, Extraordinary You

Spirou, Spirou et Fantasio

The Protagonist, Tenet

Dr. Crane, Batman Begins

The Prince, Bullet Train

Kaneki, Tokyo Ghoul Re

Tintin, Tintin

Ultron, Age of Ultron

No Face, Spirited Away

Stick, Dead Poets Society

(Do these make sense? I don't care. They get they/them-ed /j)

Cannot get over how Gibson from Dunkirk (2017) is just so kind. I don't know if it's the right word, but motherfucker really went out of his way more than once to help others, in a way we don't see anyone else do. And maybe it's because of his guilt or whatever, but he's constantly helping Tommy -helping him hide, opening the ship's door, throwing him a rope to stay afloat- even when others aren't doing it, are saving their own skin first -which is understandable, the movie repeatedly shows us the importance of survival and how saving oneself is so crucial-. So you see men on boats shouting to be taken home, you hear people trapped in a sinking ship begging to get out, and yet even when he's in danger himself -Gibson is still trying to help. I don't even know what I'm trying to argue here, but Gibson makes me so fucking sad, and his attempts at surviving, while also taking care of others, is so... yeah.

Differences between movie Bullet Train and book Bullet Train -i know there's probably a lot of these posts already but still-:

(Warning: spoilers ahead. For both the book and movie)

(Also not all the characters are there because... i didn't want to)

The Father/Kimura: if sass could kill, book Kimura would have the biggest body count. Homie might be trapped, but he's still going to use sarcasm no matter what. This man can actually be scary sometimes, he's a recoverring alcoholic, he's sassy, and movie Kimura... is there.

The Prince: movie version? Dora the Explorer's evil clone. She's annoying, she's lucky... and there we go. The book version? 100000× that. He is the nastiest 14 years old I've seen. Electrocutes his classmates for fun, has the biggest god complex ever, very good at manipulation.

Tangerine: very hot in both. In the book, the same way Lemon will talk about Thomas the Tank Engine whenever he can, Tangerine talks about books as much as possible. When getting angry, he starts quoting stuff. He's pretty much a poker faced guy the entire time, and he keeps a lucky charm Lemon gave him for the whole ride.

The Elder: well, there's two of them in the book; grandpa and grandma. And oh, grandma is so fucking badass. Also, there's no 'White Death' in this, so their wrath is focused on The Prince... those two are scary as fuck.

The Hornet: there are also two of them in the book! Pretty much insignificant, tbh. I think they were a big part of the plan but I honestly forgot them.

The Wolf: movie Wolf? Tragic backstory, dead wife, dead mother, ruined wedding. Book Wolf? A bully that got knocked on the head and wants to get revenge because of it.

It would've been fun if Voldemort just gave random attributes to Harry

Like sure being able to talk to snakes is cool, but what if like, Harry had an incredibly good knowledge of socks' ironing in the late 19th century just bc Voldemort studied it

What if he sucked at one specific spell (couldn't figure out how to magically flip pancakes for the life of him) just bc Voldemort was super bad at it