Cheesy Platonic Love

Cheesy platonic love

Tanizaki: I love you, Naomi. Naomi: I love you too, Junichirou. Dazai: *gags* Kunikida: *rolls eyes* Atsushi: *cries* Ranpo: *eats popcorn*

Books

Dazai: What’s your favorite book? Chuuya: The Little Prince. Dazai: Why? Chuuya: Because it’s a classic, and it has a lot of meaning and symbolism. Dazai: Oh, I see. Chuuya: What’s yours? Dazai: No Longer Human. Chuuya: Why? Dazai: Because it’s relatable.

POV he couldn't solve it.

Kunikida: What are you doing? Ranpo: Solving a case. Kunikida: With a Rubik’s cube? Ranpo: It’s a metaphor. You see, each color represents a clue, and by solving it, I reveal the truth. Kunikida: That’s not how it works. Ranpo: Trust me, I’m a genius.

Sad truths.

Ranpo: I have a riddle for you. Poe: Okay, let’s hear it. Ranpo: What has a face and two hands, but no arms or legs? Poe: A clock. Ranpo: No, that’s wrong. Poe: What? How is that wrong? Ranpo: The correct answer is Dazai. He has a face and two hands, but no arms or legs because he’s always trying to kill himself. Poe: That’s not a riddle, that’s just a fact. And a sad one at that.

he angy

OOOOOOOH.

Kenji: I’m hungry. Let’s go eat something. Naomi: Okay, what do you want to eat? Kenji: Anything is fine. As long as it’s delicious and cheap. Naomi: How about ramen? Kenji: Ramen sounds good. Let’s go to that place near the Agency. Naomi: Okay, let’s go. *They arrive at the ramen shop* Kenji: Wow, this place looks nice. And it smells good too. Naomi: Yeah, it does. Let’s go inside and order. *They enter the shop and see Dazai and Chuuya sitting at a table* Kenji: Hey, look. It’s Dazai and Chuuya. Naomi: What? Where? Kenji: Over there. They’re eating ramen together. Naomi: Really? Let me see. *She looks at the table and sees Dazai and Chuuya slurping noodles and staring into each other’s eyes* Naomi: Oh my god. They’re on a date. Kenji: What? No, they’re not. They’re just eating ramen. Naomi: No, they’re definitely on a date. Look at how they’re looking at each other. And how close they are sitting. And how they’re sharing the same bowl of ramen. Kenji: That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe they’re just hungry and don’t care about personal space. Naomi: Or maybe they’re in love and don’t care about anything else. Kenji: That’s ridiculous. They’re enemies, not lovers. Naomi: Well, you know what they say. There’s a thin line between love and hate. Kenji: Who says that? Naomi: I don’t know. Some people. Kenji: Well, some people are wrong. Dazai and Chuuya hate each other. They would never date each other. Naomi: Fine, then why don’t we ask them? Kenji: Ask them what? Naomi: Ask them if they’re on a date or not. Kenji: No, that’s rude. We can’t just barge into their conversation and ask them personal questions. Naomi: Why not? It’s not like they’re busy or anything. They’re just eating ramen. Kenji: Still, it’s none of our business. Let’s just leave them alone and find another table. Naomi: No, I want to know the truth. Come on, let’s go talk to them. Kenji: No, wait. Don’t drag me into this. *Naomi drags Kenji to the table where Dazai and Chuuya are sitting* Naomi: Excuse me, Dazai-san, Chuuya-san. Can we ask you something? Dazai: Hm? What is it? Chuuya: What do you want? Naomi: We were wondering… are you two on a date?