Erica: Youve Reached The Hale Harem, You Got The Dough, We Got The Ho, How May I Service You?

Erica: You’ve reached the Hale Harem, you got the dough, we got the ho, how may I service you?

Derek, from the other side of the loft: GODDAMN IT, ERICA, STOP ANSWERING MY PHONE.

every once in a while, I remember that merlin and lancelot will never look at each other like this ever again.

but it's okay because I imagine lancelot being merlin's own personal jiminy cricket and that tends to get me through my random crying spells

I'm always a slut for Eldritch Nightmare Merlin, official cryptid of Camelot and infant demigod, and @fluffypotatey and I agree Hunith would be entirely chill with that, but I also propose Arthur is the only other person who sees nothing out of the ordinary about Merlin. Like, all the other OG Round Table knights are pretty worldly guys (except Leon, but that man has Seen Some Shit) so they've probably met enough other sorcerers or seen enough magic used to know Merlin's magic is a bit....out of the box. But Arthur has known Merlin the longest, has seen him at his best and worst, so his entire attitude towards the whole "greatest sorcerer ever to live" thing is just, "Okay, and??? Good for him???"

Things Arthur has seen Merlin do:

Create a rainstorm over a town that was suffering from drought

Conjure food out of nothing when their rations got ruined

Speak to elemental spirits

Summon lightning from a clear sky

Heal an entire forest destroyed by wildfire

Transformed a volley of arrows into a cloud of butterflies

Turn a would-be assassin into a mouse

Turn himself into various animals including a raven, a fox, a cat, a stag, a wolf, a serpent, and a stoat

Create a 30-foot wall of fire to cut off their enemy's escape route

Address the Seelie Court

Things Arthur has also seen Merlin do:

Trip on the same set of stairs at least once a week for 10 years

Get his cloak shut in a door because he forgot he was wearing it

Peel apples to give to his horse

Cry over a litter of fox kits they found on a hunting trip (they were very small and fuzzy)

Get giggling-drunk after one (1) cup of strong wine

Play hide-and-seek with small children

Help the younger pages and squires practice their letters

Attend a council meeting barefoot because he forgot to put his boots on that morning

Carry around that scaly wingéd demon dragon hatchling in a sling like an infant because "she missed him"

Merlin: *does some Literally Impossible feat of magic*

Arthur: Same bae, different day, what y'all fussing about?

Remus: what happened again??

Regulus: well I was walking outside and I saw James, so I just came to kiss him…

Remus: and??

Regulus: he rejected me! So I tried again, he rejected me again!

Remus: maybe that wasn’t him?

Regulus: do you know any other gryffindor who can talk to a dog while playing with a golden snitch?

Remus: a dog?

Regulus: yeah that black dog

Remus: what did you say to James exactly before leaving

Regulus: he is the one who left! I said to him that he was less shy last night and he ran!!

Remus: I’m sorry for your loss

Regulus: what

”- Well, we all know what was happening last Monday and who you were with. So I’m assuming… - Dad, what the hell was I supposed to day? ‘Hi, that’s Derek Hale but he’s deaged. Because that can happen. Oh, and by the way, Agent McCall, your son is a werewolf?!’

I hope you are ready for my therapy bill😭

GUYS I NEED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU;

I MADE THIS MONTHS AGO BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS SO HERE.

It’s kind of really bad but eh.