Liam: *screams*

Liam: *screams*

Miranda: *screams louder to establish dominance*

Vera: …should we do something?

Valerie: no, i wanna see who wins this

Brian: You are literally dating the most beautiful person alive.

Brian: Aka me.

Brian: Earlier I ate a whole bag of glitter so the inside will look as good as the outside.

Liam: You wha— We are going to the hospital.

Brian: Good cause I think I’m dying.

Brian upon being asked by one of the 8 if they can date his friends

Brian: What is this, the 1950's?? You know what, since you asked: No, you have to defeat me in sword battle if you ever want to talk to them again-

Sometimes, when I'm really frustrated and need to clear my head, I just get into my golf cart and floor it around campus. Speed limit's five miles per hour, but I'll go six or seven. I don't care.

—Oz, just casually running over students and teachers with his golf cart at 7 mph because he's mad

Zoe: I love murder mysteries!

Brian, hopelessly smitten: I’ve been suspected in like four murder cases

Hope: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. Black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.

Joy: Hope, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.