"No, He's Not!"

"No, he's not!"

"Smash."

"Stop!"

"Why?"

"Because you cannot fix him!"

"Not with that attitude."

"With any attitude!"

Writing Prompt #2668

"He's a monster!"

"He's a hot monster, though."

Look, I'm not sex or romance repulsed. I just don't understand them. I can't wrap my head around how or why people feel the way they do.

Frankly, I don't want to understand.

Please don't explain that stuff to me.

There have been occasions where I have asked someone to explain their feelings or how their romantic attraction feels to them, but that's me asking. If I do not ask, do not explain.

I'm not asking you to do this. I'm stating it.

I only bring this up because I can't say this to people in person without people getting pissy. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but when it's people I spend significant amounts of time (whether my own choice or not) with, it gets awkward fast.

Also, I feel like other aros, aces, and aroaces need to say this but can't.

Things I think about on the [near] daily

Person (P) 1: You're late.

Person (P) 2: [ruffled, fixing their hair] Sorry, I was...doing things

*stomping getting closer* *door is thrown open*

Person (P) 3: [huffing] He pushed me down the fucking stairs!

P 2: Push is such a strong word. I prefer to say, "giving you a little nudge".

P 3: I'll give you a little nudge when I shove my foot up your ass!

P 2: Hey! Watch your fucking language in front of the president.

-----

*elevator doors close*

Iain: Where's the buttons?

Rob: Oh, no. They've installed voice-recognition technology in this lift. They have no buttons.

Iain: Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice-recognition technology?

Rob: No

Iain: They don't do Scottish accents.

Rob: Eleven.

Voice: Could you please repeat that?

Iain: Eleven.

Rob: Eleven. Eleven.

Iain: Eleven.

Voice: Could you please repeat that?

Rob: EL-EV-EN

Iain: Who's idea was this? You need to try an American accent. E-leven. E-leven.

Rob: That sounds Irish, not American.

Iain: No it doesn't! ELEVEN.

Rob: Where in America is that - Dublin?

Voice: I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?

Rob: Try an English accent. Elevin! Elevin!

Iain: You from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke?

Rob: Let's hear yours then, smartass.

Voice: Please speak slowly and clearly.

Rob: SMARTASS

Iain: E-lev-en.

Voice: I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?

Iain: ELEVEN! If ya don't understand a lingo, away back to your own country!

Rob: Ooo, it's that talk now is it, away back to your own country?

Iain: Oh, don't start, Mr. Bleeding Heart. How can you be racist to a lift?

Voice: Please speak slowly and clearly.

Rob: Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.

Iain: You're just saying it the same way!

Rob: And I'm going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, alright?

Rob: Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.

Iain: Oh, just take us anywhere, ya cow! Just open the doors!

Voice: This is a voice activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.

Iain: Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why's it telling people to be calm?

Rob: Because they knew they'd be selling this to Scottish people who'd be going off their nuts at it!

Voice: You have not selected a floor.

Rob: Aye, we have! Eleven!

Voice: If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say "Open the doors, please".

Iain: Please? Please? Suck my wully.

Rob: Maybe we should just say "please".

Iain: I'm not begging that for nothing.

Rob: Open the doors, please.

Iain: 'Please'! Pathetic.

Voice: Please remain calm.

Rob: Oh! My! God! You want until I get up there...just wait for it to speak...

Voice: You have not selected a floor.

Rob: Up yours, ya cow! If you don't let us through those doors, I'm gonna come to America, I'm gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and it'll be the electric chair for ye!

Iain: Scotland, ya bastard!

Rob: Scotland!

Iain: SCOTLAND!

Rob: SCOOOOOTLAND!!

Iain: FREEDOM!!

Rob: FREEDOM!!

*elevator doors open with a ding*

Iain: ...Going up?

Honestly, Danny doesn't know how he gets into these situations. It's probably the fault of a deity or an Ancient or someone. It's most definitely Clockwork's fault.

Going on that mission with Constantine sounded like a good idea at the time, and Raven was going to be there! She's the best impulse control on the team. He realizes he should've clarified why Raven was going with them. Evidently, it was not to help or be impulse control for the Ghost King and the Alcoholic Soul Whore. (Don't tell Constantine that's his nickname) Raven was going along because she had business at Titan Tower. It should've been obvious, but Danny is not the most observant.

Either way, he was wrong. He thought going on this mission with John - there was a demon running around an apartment building and people were, apparently, quite upset about that - would deter the Justice League from hounding him like roaches. He was right about that, but also very wrong because the proteges took the opportunity to sniff him out like the bloodhounds they are. Unsurprisingly, Red Robin was at the head of the charge.

Raven, the traitor, sat back and laughed at him. She wasn't laughing, but it was obvious that she found his misery amusing.

Anyway, this lead to a citywide hunt for Danny. Anytime he spotted even a hint of any of the Titans chasing him, he was gone. He couldn't stray too far from Constantine, though, and Beast Boy had a nose like a damn elephant.

The chase lasted a solid three hours before he had to let them catch him, if only so that he could tell them to leave him alone because he's there on official JLD business. Not like that would actually work, but he had hope. Unfortunately, he forgot that Red Robin is Bat Trained.

Danny took a second for himself before the Titans caught up with him. Was this really better than Deadman harassing him about his first time in Gotham? No, it wasn't. It wasn't any worse, either, and he didn't know how to feel about that.

"Are you finally done running?" Red Robin asked, landing in a crouch in front of him.

Danny folded his legs to sit criss-cross in the air as the rest of the kids that had been chasing him joined RR. "You make it sound like I'm a criminal."

"You ran like one," Beast Boy pointed out. Fair, but rude. "And, dude, I don't know if you know this, but you smell horrible."

Danny placed a hand on his chest with a dramatic gasp. "How dare you! I took a shower just last week!"

Raven was now unamused.

Superboy gagged a bit. "He's right," A small shudder. "I couldn't smell it before, but I can now that you're so close to me."

He sighed with equal dramatics as his gasp. "I guess I can never get rid of the smell, even after all this time."

Wonder Girl tilted her head to the side slightly. "Oh? And what smell would that be?"

"The smell of death," John Constantine, ever a man of impeccable timing, turned onto the side street to join them. He largely ignored the kids in favor of the ghost child who isn't actually a child but no one listens to him when he explains that so he's probably going to stop trying. "It lingers. C'mon, kid, we've got a demon to exorcise."

Danny huffed like a petulant child, "Still not a kid!"

Constantine continued walking away. "Still don't care."

Part 4 Part 6

Tag List:

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Just got to work, got a bit before I can clock in.

I'm a space nerd.

I'm working a convention for space nerds.

I'm gonna dig my telescope out tomorrow

(not tonight because I get off at ten, home at 11:30ish)

Update: I was lied to! Today is last Load In, not a Show Day! Also, it's not even about space!

This is bullshit!🥲

I have a problem.

My Inbox keeps telling me that I've got shit in there. But when I open it, it says there's no messages!

Idk which part is lying. The messages or no messages. Until I get it figured out, I apologize for anything anyone has sent me that has not been seen. It isn't for lack of want, but for lack of ability.

Am I going to use this as an opportunity? Yes.

My discord server will probably be the best place to contact me with requests or questions.

It's called The Tolls Bridge (it's a lie. you don't need to pay to join)

Shameless promotion done. Apologies are never quite done, but I'll call it for now. I'll try and get the inbox figured out asap