Coworker Trouble - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Coworker Trouble - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N this one is different. I made an OC, (original character) who is the main protagonist. This is another song inspired story - Tear Drops on My Guitar, a song by Taylor Swift.

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Ash combed his hair lamely. He was sitting at the cafeteria. His job was low-paying, but at least it got his groceries. He’d had eyes for someone for a long time, but he’d been way too nervous to start any conversations with them. He straightened out his dress, and shuffled his high heels. How did he go about this? Would ‘this someone’ enjoy the fact that he wore makeup?

Ash clasped and unclasped her hands, trying to understand her situation. Adam Stanheight was a coworker of hers, but… he didn’t feel the same way about her. She didn’t know how to take that. Adam was… the PERFECT guy. So… why did he only see her as a friend? She felt miserable.

“Ash!” Adam called suddenly.

Ash looked back at Adam, and his heart skipped a beat. “Oh…” He said. “Hi, Adam…”.

“How’s lunch?”

“Good. How’s you-’re lunch?” Ash asked dumbly.

“I’m going to see Y/N for lunch!” Adam announced gladly. His eyes were shining and his smile was bright. “Do you want to come?”

Ash shook her head, feeling sad. “I-I’m sorry. I should go back to work.”

“What? Come on.”

Ash had to look away. It hurt too much to remember that Adam spent more time with Y/N than he did with her. All she wanted was his affection. How could she go about it?

“Y/N…” Adam whispered, and then sighed dreamily. “Is the best person I’ve ever had in my life… Ash, do you think we’ll work out?”

Ash smiled. Adam was so cute, and… she wanted the best for him even if it meant giving up her chances with him. “Yes,” she said honestly. “I’ve seen the way Y/N looks at you…”

Adam spun around on his feet. “Oh, thank you!” Then Ash saw you pass down the hall. He held his breath, not wanting Adam to leave so soon. He liked being this close to Adam. But, unfortunately, Adam had seen you too, and went darting out of the room. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and whispered in your ear. You laughed, and pushed him away, cheeks bright red.

Adam looked back at Ash, questioning him if he really didn’t want to join them. Ash backed away slowly. That look in Adam’s eyes… He heaved a sigh. Adam was handsome. “Okay, fine. That’s on you,” Adam called to Ash, who sunk deeper in his chair.

Adam nuzzled your cheek. You giggled, and combed your fingers through Adam’s hair. “Lunch at the usual place?” He asked.

You grinned. “Of course!”

Adam cupped your cheek, and leaned in close to your face. “Just the two of us?”

You nodded. “Like always…”

“Just as it should be…”

You sighed desperately. “You’re so cool…” you told Adam vaguely.

“Ironic, since it’s like one hundred degrees in here,” Adam replied wittily.

You blushed, and mustered, “Oh… But I mean it, though. You’re just really pretty…”

Adam leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest. “Go on…”

You twiddled your thumbs nervously. “Well… You’re really attractive… you know…”

Faulkner hummed out contentedly, and he blinked at you. “What else?”

You laughed. “You silly goose! All you want are my compliments.”

Adam shrugged. “But did you lie?”

“N-No…” You admitted.

Adam chuckled. “Alright. Well, YOU’RE gorgeous…”

During this encounter, Ash had been watching from the sidelines. Jealousy spiked inside of him, and he went back to his office to continue his work.

Ash thought helplessly, I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about. And she’s got everything that I’ve got to live without.

It was a long workday. Ash was pretty sure lines and words were going to be engraved into her eyes for the rest of her entire lifetime. Her mind was reeling from all the work. Her feet were sore from being pressed into the ground for so long and her hands cramped from typing.

Throughout the day, she had been up to grab some water, and attend a few business meetings, but otherwise her butt hadn’t left the chair cushion for about six hours. She was starving. She hadn’t gotten enough to eat at lunch because the events between Adam and Y/N had been quite distracting.

Ash folded her papers and tossed them on the keyboard. This shit was tiring. Fortunately, now was closing time, and she could go home. She arranged her office and then packed her things. She was ready to go!

As Ash stepped out of his office though, he was greeted by another coworker, who informed him of a drinking party happening at their place. Ash declined, feeling tired. He kept walking down the hall.

Adam Stanheight came up behind him. “Hey, Ash! You worked overtime as well?”

Ash smiled. “Oh yeah. Today I had to finish some paperwork.”

Adam inhaled deeply. “I’m telling you Ash, I’ve found The One!”

Ash bit his lower lip. “I don’t want to talk about it this time, Adam. I’m so tired. I should probably take a cab home, honestly.” It was a half truth. Ash didn’t want to lie outright but he needed to get out of here asap. This atmosphere was making him sick.

“Oh, just wait a moment! I wanted to tell you that we almost kissed! It was so excruciating. You know? I just feel… uh… I don’t know. It was painful because we were so close but then… I’m kinda glad we didn’t.”

Ash laughed. She was horrified at herself for doing that but she couldn’t contain her emotions. This situation was a little bit silly, how she couldn’t see anyone else when Adam was with her.

Adam stared at her. “What?”

Ash wanted to hit herself on the head with a fifteen pound, hardcover book. This was MORTIFYING. “N-no,” she stammered. “I think it’s lovely?”

“It was.”

“Adam!” Y/N called from up ahead. The two of them hurried to catch up. “Are we pooling tomorrow as well?”

Adam nodded. “Yep! If that’s alright with you…” he leaned in so that your noses were touching. Ash tried not to pull you away from each other but it was harder than expected.

“You’re really pretty in the streetlight…” Adam whispered in your ear.

You blushed and pulled him closer. “Oooh. You like this?” You stroked a hand down your body.

Adam scoffed. “Who said that?”

You giggled and simply said back, “I like YOU.”

Adam’s mouth fell open. “I… wasn’t expecting you to say that…”

“Well then,” you replied. “You are promptly an idiot.” You were joking, of course.

Adam laughed. “Maybe if we try kissing this time, we won’t be interrupted?” He asked.

Ash cleared his throat uncomfortably. “You do realize that… there’s a third wheeler here?”

You and Adam glance at Ash. “Oh…” You made a pouty face. “Someone squeamish?”

“No,” Ash snapped.

I just don’t want to see you kissing HIM…

“Okay Adam, let me get the car,” you said, and finally you walked away. Ash scanned the parking lot once more. His car was somewhere near the back… was that it?! No, it was a jeep… fuck!

“I’m so in love…” Adam murmured. “I think I’ve finally got it right, this time.”

Ash scowled at the ground. I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night. Woah, that sounds really fucking creepy!

“I’m happy for you…” Ash choked out.

Can he tell that I can’t breathe? Now that he thought about it, his lungs felt tight and dry. He wanted to scream but there wasn’t enough air for it. It was a strange experience.

“So…” Adam asked. “What do you think about my chances with Y/N now?”

Ash sighed. “I think they’re better than mine,” he grunted, not even trying to cover up the mistake, or hide his disappointment.

You came around the corner, head out the window, and a stupid grin on your face. “Adam!” You yelled. “We going, or what?”

Adam shook himself from his stupor, and answered, “Definitely! I was just asking Ash about the brilliant weather.” He laughed.

Yeah… cover it up. You want Y/N more than me, Ash thought, deterred.

Adam climbed into the car, happily as ever, and pecked you on the cheek. You squealed and rubbed your cheek.

Ash stalked past you and headed for his car, which he had found at that exact moment. It was at the very back, towards the right. He slunk away, his heart heavy.

Poor Ash’s mind was a mess. She felt heartbroken and elated. She was glad to see Adam with someone that made him happy, but she was destroyed that SHE would never get the man she wanted. She was jealous.

She turned on the radio so it blasted her ears, and she drove straight past you. From the corner of her eye, she caught you kissing him. It angered Ash but she kept driving. Her lover was waiting for her somewhere, just not here.

As he drove, Ash couldn’t get the image of you and Adam kissing out his head. He saw it in every light, in every sign. It drove him mad.

At this point Ash didn’t even know why he still hung on. It was like a song he kept singing in the car. He kept wishing on a wishing star, but the reason wasn’t clear. Maybe he wanted Adam that badly? But no, Y/N was the lucky one for him. Why was life so cruel? How could he change it?

Ash glanced at the photograph sitting on the passenger seat. She flipped it over so that the back was facing upward. “Maybe I can get some sleep tonight?” She wondered out loud.

Ash’s stomach was churning with fire. Hot streaks flashed through him every once in a while. It made the car ride home very difficult. He struggled not to give into his anxiety. But he knew he wouldn’t be better till he got home. Was that going to be soon? He hoped so. All he wanted to do was crash on the bed and never wake up. He didn’t want to perish, but he just didn’t want to be conscious for a very long time. His heart felt weak.

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, he realized suddenly. That’s why I cry every time. Oh wow.

This realization made Ash feel utterly miserable. She got out of her car, and stumbled inside. Without even turning the light on, she drifted into the bedroom. Her shoes were still on, her hair was still up, and her face wasn’t even dry yet from crying. She was asleep faster than she’d ever been in her entire life, dreading the events that tomorrow brought. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad? Maybe it wouldn’t be what she expected? Maybe things would turn around in the end? Or perhaps she could still be friends with Adam? Whatever the outcome was, she couldn’t be too sure it was going to be all that bad. After all, there didn’t always need to be two people in a singular relationship…

Fever Dream - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one's inspired by Taylor Swift's song, Marjorie.

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You coughed miserably into your pillow. The window was open and AC was on. Vision blurring, and head pounding, you tossed and turned under the covers of your king sized bed. You had never felt so sick in your entire life. Someone was moving around in the background, you couldn’t see who it was. The world rotated horrendously. “Bff’s Name,” you choked out.

Someone was kneeling next to you. “What’s the matter, Y/N? I’m right here.”

Confused, you looked around. Whose voice was that? It sounded familiar. “Adam?”

“Y/N…” The voice sounded somber. “A… Um… Adam’s not here.”

You tried to find the source of the voice. “Hmm?” You grumbled. “Bff’s Name? I don’t understand what’s happening. Where am I? I can’t see anything.”

“I know. I’ve been trying to bring the fever down all night.”

You rolled onto your back, and gazed at the ceiling, watching the floor flip over your head for a moment. You grasped the bed sheets as pain engulfed your stomach, and you squeezed your eyes shut. Maybe you’d feel better if you couldn’t see anything?

“Y/N,” the familiar voice spoke out to you again.

You furrowed your eyebrows. Who was that? It wasn’t your friend’s voice, it was too different. The only other person you could think of was your boyfriend…

Deceased boyfriend, you corrected yourself.

You called out anyway, “Baby!?”

“Hi,” Adam’s voice rang in your ears. It was so real, you couldn’t wrap your head around it. You grumbled a series of responses that nobody could understand. “Why are you so cold, Y/N? Pull the blankets up, silly.”

Obediently, you lifted the blankets up further. “Oh, hey. We’re trying to take DOWN this fever,” your friend breathed into your ear.

You fought against them. “No, stop! Just let me stay like this. Adam told me to. I can hear him, can’t you?”

Your friend looked awkwardly around the room, puzzled. “Um… No, I can’t.”

“Friend’s name, I thought that Adam didn’t make it out of SAW?”

Your friend rubbed your head soothingly. “Shh. It’s okay. I know it’s confusing right now, but you’ll get better.”

“I mean… I know he’s not here, but… why do I hear his voice so clearly? Why is it like he’s right here? I’m not mental, am I? I’m not, I swear!”

Your bff kept stroking their fingers through your hair vigorously, trying to get you to go back to sleep. The world flipped over again, and you felt nauseous. Your skin felt like it was burning.

Goddamn it! You kicked the blankets off of your body, and shivered. Figures!

“Hey,” Adam asked you suddenly. “You think they’ve arrested Jigsaw?”

“Huh?” You tried to sit up but your best friend held you down. “I don’t know. Why would I know that, Adam?”

“I dunno.”

“Shit, baby, you have to tell me what’s going on. I thought you were dead. This can’t be real.” Adam didn’t answer that question, much to your disappointment. “Adam?”

“Y/N… Adam didn’t make it. He didn’t make it out. I’m sorry.”

Your best friend’s words didn’t make any kind of sense. Adam OBVIOUSLY wasn’t dead… No, that wasn’t right. He couldn’t be ALIVE, because he’d been gone for one year. Well, obviously, what died didn’t stay dead. He was alive in your head, that was for sure.

“You’re not dead, are you?” You asked halfheartedly.

“Of course I’m not dead!” Your friend snapped. “What are you talking about?”

“I was asking Adam,” you replied plainly.

Your friend raised their eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, well…” They didn’t seem to approve of that statement.

You could hear Adam’s voice so faintly, it was almost like you could touch it. If you stretched your arm out far enough you would find ADAM there. But the cold air on your skin frightened you, and kept you from trying to find him. You were too scared of feeling sick again, too tired to move.

Your friend nodded. “There we go. Go to sleep, Y/N. Everything’s going to be A-okay next time you wake up.”

No, you thought distantly. No, not yet! Adam’s still here, I know it. I have to find him again. Just one more time, please!

“Adam!” You wailed.

Adam’s voice came drifting over to you tenuously. He was singing softly, but you couldn’t hear what it was he was singing. It was probably just random notes and tunes that sounded nice. You relaxed, and smiled. You could get used to this. “It’s like you’re right here,” you mumbled. “But I know better, you can’t be around.”

Adam stopped singing then. “Whatever you say…”

“No, wait! Come back!”

“I’m right here, Y/N. I’ll never leave you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” There was a silence for some time until finally, you asked, “Why didn’t I ask you more questions when you were alive? I remember watching you sign your name. I remember those frozen swims, and long car rides. I should have kept every grocery store receipt, ‘cause every scrap of you would be taken from me.”

“There’s nothing you can do about it now, Y/N,” Adam told you quietly. “Just… don’t forget the life you have. Don’t end up like me.”

You started crying. “I miss you. I don’t want to be separated from you. I wish you were here with me all the time!”

“I know. But I can’t come back.”

“Fuck,” you hummed out frustratedly. “I know better than this! I know that you can’t be real! But… I guess what died didn’t stay dead…”

“Go to sleep, baby. You need to get your strength up so that when you wake up tomorrow you won’t be feeling so shitty. Come on, I want you to feel better.”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Yes.” Adam whispered directly into your ear.

Exhaustion bulldozed into you unexpectedly. You closed your eyes and let your breath even out. “Oh alright. I’ll go to sleep.” You yawned. “I’m so fucking tired anyway.” Your words were starting to slur together. You allowed yourself to drift.

In the background you could hear your bff exclaim, “Good god, finally!”

“I-I love y-you,” you stuttered.

Adam’s voice filled you with content and happiness, as he said, “I love you, too.” It echoed around your head and filled your ears, but somehow - just somehow - it was lulling.

...

In a panic you awoke from your slumber, frantically kicking your blankets and medicine off the bed, screaming and crying all at once. Your head was pounding, your stomach was churning, your throat was sore, and one half of your body felt like it was being cooked alive while the other half felt like it was being frozen miles underwater. Your heart thrashed against your ribcage, like a wild animal trying to break out of it’s tight confines at the zoo.

Your friend was lying next to you on the bed. They felt you writhing and woke up. “Y/N, Y/N! It’s okay! Woah, calm down! What’s wrong?” They launched themselves on top of you just to get a hold of your moving body.

“Something’s not right!” You shouted. “Something’s not right at all! Where’s Adam? Wasn’t he… Wasn’t… he?” Finally back to your senses, you realized your mistake. “Oh… Oh no… I’m hungry, Bff’s Name.”

Your best friend got out of the bed and went to grab a snack from the kitchen. The medicine and blankets still on the floor tripped them and they went sprawling on the ground. “Ugh!” They plopped the blankets back onto the bed in annoyance. “Get them all fixed how you like. I’ll be right back.”

You started to spread the blankets out on the bed. The moonlight shining in from the window caught your attention and you stared at the white moon, a feeling of realism hovering over you.

None of that had been real. None. Not a single thing. You were flabbergasted. Adam had sounded so close to you, but… now it was over. While you still didn’t feel good, you weren’t feeling miserable anymore. You just felt sick. ‘Sick’ was something you could deal with. Whatever had happened earlier that night was something you never wanted to reenact. You started fixing the blankets again.

Your friend walked in and gave you something to munch on. You were grateful for them. You ate your snack in silence as your friend crawled over you and tried to go back to sleep.

“I feel better now,” you said aloud.

“That’s great! I’m so sorry about earlier, that was rough.”

“It’s okay. Thank you so much for sticking with me.”

“Of course!” Your best friend sounded surprised.

You laid back down, your thoughts still preoccupied by Adam. You couldn’t go to sleep after this, but that was alright, it was lovely outside. You stayed and watched the moon fall behind the horizon and the sun rise up after it. It was a peaceful state of affairs, but… in all honesty, you couldn’t wait for the moment when sleep took over once again, and brought you out of this cramped hell.

Sleeping Beauty - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N sorry for the short story, been feeling writer’s block. (This was a prompt. I’m sorry it’s creepy asf.)

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Adam Faulkner was late to bed that night. It was nearly three in the morning when he finally finished producing a set of pictures. He was late to producing the pictures as well. He was late for an appointment with a client. He was late for a lot of things right now. He had to reschedule many appointments. But at least this was the last one… Finally. 

Adam set the camera on the dresser that was to the side of the bed. In this summer season, three am looked bright, dawn creeping in through the edges of the window, around the curtains. The sky was a light indigo even though it was three am, and it seemed like the sun was about to rise some time soon. 

Adam turned away from the dresser and spotted you asleep on the bed, facing him, on your right side. You looked so lovely in the dim light, your face peaceful, humble, innocent. Your eyelids fluttered slightly over and over. Adam wondered what you were seeing, what you were dreaming about. It didn’t seem like it was hellish. 

He smiled at the sight of his significant other. The light drew circles on your skin and cast shadows over certain places, making an intricate picture of darkness and lightness. He took in your body shape through the tight bed covers. All the right indents and muscles portrayed through them. Your breathing was gentle and delicate. Your belly rose and fell smoothly. 

Adam knelt down by the bed to look into your sleeping face. It was impossible that you didn’t know he was there. All it took was an easy action of opening your eyes, but that would never happen because you were asleep. You didn’t know he was there at all. It was weird knowing that you wouldn’t open your eyes even though Adam was staring at you. 

He eyed your thin lips, and had to refrain from kissing them. They were so lonely and unsuspecting, perfect for kissing. But he knew better than to wake you up. Your cheeks were not flushed like they were during the day and your hair was not combed like it was during the day. Your hair was messy but he liked it. Your perfectionism never allowed you to have a bed head sometimes, but Adam thought it was satisfying to see it all messed up.

Stanheight liked how you looked in this moment a lot… in more ways than one. Stooping, Adam pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. You snuggled closer to your pillow, and Adam sighed. He noticed your lips again, and how close they were to his. It was driving him mad, almost. Those perfect lips, the ones that greeted him everytime he came home from work. The ones that opened for him every time before bed. The ones that always told him they loved him. Without stopping to think he dropped his mouth to yours. Slowly, carefully, so as to not disturb you, Adam kissed you lamely. It was lame because the other half wasn’t recuperating. 

The swirling feelings of kissing you were dull but there nonetheless. He loved every moment of it. Your warm, soft, mouth on his mouth made him happy.  Then Adam leaned back, feeling somewhat satisfied. He had done what he had wanted to do, so he was happy now.

Adam combed his fingers through your (favorite color) hair. You had dyed it recently and it looked absolutely stunning. The dye was good, too. A week in and it wasn’t even washing out! Sometimes he could still smell the dye’s perfume. He admired the color on you for a little while. It suited you quite well. 

You stuck an arm out of the blankets abruptly, causing Adam to lurch backwards. He was trying not to wake you, even if it didn’t look like it. You were just so vulnerable. He never ever got to see you like that. That was what made this moment so special. He trailed a hand down your shoulder all the way to your wrist, where he took hold of your hand. 

For a moment his jeans felt heavy, like there was a sharp rock in his pocket. He could envision the white ring on your finger, shining magnificently. You, all dressed in white silks. The veil over your face, having to lift it up so that he could kiss you. 

Your hands were a little sweaty from being under the blankets for so long. 

Stanheight cupped your cheek and you leaned further into the pillow. Quickly, Adam pulled away. He was sure he would wake you up, if he kept doing this. You just looked so touchable. It was night’s like these, that Adam lost all sense of self-control. But he would never hurt you. Nothing like that!

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the object currently causing him the most discomfort. It was small and white, it glittered whenever the moonlight struck it the right way. He eyed it nervously, and rolled it between his pointer finger and his thumb. It was heavy too, he hoped you wouldn’t mind that. It was the one that made him think of you the most. 

He held it up to his left eye so that he could see through the hole of the ring. There you were at the center, just like you always would be, because you were the center of his world. He needed you.

You didn’t know about the ring yet. He had been too nervous to ask you. All his friends were yelling at him for that. At least they hadn’t spoiled the surprise to Y/N yet.    

Adam crept up behind you on the bed and slightly maneuvered around you till he was comfortable, then he closed his eyes, and breathed in your sweet, feathery, scent. He tucked the ring back into his pocket, and put his forehead on your back, wrapping his arms around your waist. Maybe tomorrow would be the day? He could feel your breaths, it made him calm. He breathed with you. 

Adam nuzzled your neck pleasantly as the light grew brighter around the high-hanging curtains. Your skin was like cotton to his touch. Your hair was as wavy as the cotton fields, and your breath was as slow and magical like the breeze blowing through. Something about it was melodic and rhythmic. So perfect for him. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured into your hair. 

Slowly, as time ticked by, - it was four at this point - Adam was able to fall asleep, curled up next to your warm, healthy body, dreaming of you and all the mischief the two of you’d get into. Stars and galaxies exploding into one another. Madness. Brilliance. Overlapping timelines. Hot and heavy, romantic pleasantries. All in all, it was a wonderful sight to see; a ridiculous rollercoaster ride - mostly nonsensical. If only YOU could’ve been there to share it with him.  

Toxic; I'll Love You Anyway - Adam Stanheight/Reader

A/N Melanie Martinez’s unreleased song - Ring Pop - gave me some serious toxic vibes. And I imagined a new kind of look for Adam. But don’t worry, I’ll stick to the fluff’s from now on…

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You felt the cold seep into your skin. It was quiet tonight, and lonely. You wanted the company again, but you knew that it wasn’t the same - not anymore. You missed the old times, back when everything was right. You had cried yourself to sleep several nights now. In all honesty, this was your life for two years. You didn’t know why you couldn't shake it? Perhaps it was all because you were still haunted by the memories, after all you were still LIVING there.

Your thumb traced over the gift. It was sticky, and smelled like cherries. “I love you,” you whispered, as you stroked the ring pop once more. You didn’t even care that it was making your hands filthy. You would be better once your partner came back - and you knew he would be here very soon. Just a little longer. He had to finish all his work…

But the sight of the other woman’s panites still lingered in your mind, and scarred you. You didn’t want to think about it too much, however it was so daunting. What was with the unfamiliar undergarments? You let out a deep breath into the silent atmosphere, feeling sad. Were you not… good enough for him, anymore?

What was he doing at this moment, you wondered. Was he ACTUALLY doing his work or did just tell you that to make you feel better? You missed Adam Stanheight. Where was he now? You felt like you couldn’t live without him, all you wanted was to feel his embrace again. To kiss him again. Where was he?

Baby, will you be here soon?

“Baddum… a new ring pop…Baddum, a new ring pop…” You murmured to yourself repeatedly. You sank down into the couch when finally a large, white, pool of luminescence portrayed itself on the dark ground, illuminating the room dimly and showcasing the slight silhouette of somebody standing in the doorway. You knew who it was then, and your heart leapt into your throat. It was like finally shooting up after days and days of being away. You ran to him.

Adam greeted you with open arms, as usual. He scooped you up and twirled you once around the room. “Waiting for me in the dark again, I see? What’s with this sudden change of habit?”

You didn’t answer, you just hugged him close. “I love you…”

Adam chuckled. “I love you, too.” It sounded forced, and he pushed past you hastily.

“Adam,” you called. “Why are you home so late? What happened at work? Do I get to know?”

“No.” Adam’s voice echoed strictly through the kitchen and into the living room.

You hung your head disappointedly. “Oh… okay…”

Following him into the kitchen you found him leaning on the counter, attempting to light a cigarette. His hands were trembling too much to keep the lighter down, not to mention his cigarette kept nearly falling from his fingers each time he tried. You stepped up to him so that your bodies were touching, and took both from him. He watched miserably while you steadily held the flame to the cigarette and then let it ignite.

You turned your hand out to him, offering the cigarette back. He lifted your hand up, and closed his lips around the cigarette. Keeping eye contact with you, he took a deep breath in. Immediately upon inhalation Adam’s entire demeanor seemed to change. He seemed slightly more like himself again. You were glad to see him relaxing. “Stressful workday?” You asked him.

“Mmhmm,” Adam mumbled, and nodded.

You stroked a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Adam’s short responses made you feel unappreciated. You were trying your hardest, but why didn’t he want anything to do with you? Why did he always come back to you? “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you staying tonight?”

“Yes.”

Your heart jumped, and you looked excitedly into Adam’s eyes. “Really!?”

“Mhm.”

You flung your arms around his shoulders. “Oh yes! Thank you! I love you so much!”

Adam sighed, and nuzzled your forehead. “What are you still doing up? You know it’s late, you should have been asleep a long time ago.”

You shivered at his stern tone. “Y-Yeah… Well, I was waiting for you… Like I always do…”

“Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll be right there.”

“What? But you’re staying HERE tonight! We should do something fun! Right? Don’t you wanna have a good time while you’re here with me? Remember when we used to stay up ‘till three watching comedies?”

“Y/N…” Adam whispered gravely. He wasn’t looking at you.

Your heart broke. “You don’t want to do that?”

Adam thought carefully, before saying, “I think we’ve moved on from those days.”

Your heart plummeted to earth, your hopes and dreams falling apart right in front of your eyes. You were devastated, tragic. Frantically, you pressed up against Adam, your hands roaming his body and your noses touching. “But… We can stay up… watch adult cartoons?” Then you asked a little more sexily, “Will you blow up the big balloons/balloon? So big that they all go… pop?”

Adam pulled his head back for another quick drag on his cigarette, but he returned it to its close proximity afterwards. “Y/N…”

“Dress up in each other’s clothes?” you continued desperately. “Dance in the dark to jazz? Have bubblegum at midnight? Get tipsy? Turn off the lights and kiss in the corner? Promise…”

Adam leaned his head forward, and he did kiss you. His lips were so wild it drove you mad. You gasped as he got a little… vulgar… You hadn’t kissed him in so long. It felt like forever ago. It was so good, too. You groaned against his lips.

He pushed away from the counter, and guided you backwards across the kitchen. Adam’s mouth left a slimy trail from your lips to your ear. Your socks slipped on the wood floor as you moved back. A couple of random items littered the floor and your feet skidded into them; the feeling of metal and sharp pins stabbed into the bottom of your right foot. You flinched, but kept moving. You rarely ever got Adam like this anymore, you weren’t going to put a stop to it. You closed your eyes as your back pressed onto the cool, sleek, wall.

It was like water on your lips, engulfing your mouth and taking you under again. Your mind was completely still and silent, peaceful and whole, while your surroundings gave you blackness and quietness. And then, just like a ripple coming through, the water surged upward. The wild waves spilled down your cheeks and neck, and got into your mouth; it was your shore. The feelings made you weak.

Adam pushed you further up the wall, making you squeal audibly. He felt out the layout of his partner’s body. You resurfaced, gasping, panting, in dire need of breath. The repetition played before you like a film that was set to loop; no end seemed to ever come of that ocean. You greeted his waves with your own, each time being more eager than that of the last. You were so deeply in love. Fuck…

Adam had started kissing your chest, and both his hands were pushing your head into the wall, so that it was angled up towards the ceiling. You could feel him making his way further and further down, his lips soft as silks. Down, down, down.

Oh what a wonderful feeling.

And then, as Adam neared your waist, he looked up at you, for the first time taking his mouth off your skin. You shivered at the cold spot on your stomach where his lips had been. You returned his gaze. “What’s the matter?” You wondered.

“I love you.” Adam examined your face for a short moment.

Your heart fluttered dramatically. You loved hearing him say that. “I… I love you, too.”

“But I need you to go upstairs for a little bit, okay? I have… things to take care of…”

“Like what?” You asked seductively. “Anything I can help with?” You put a strong emphasis on ‘I’.

“Y/N,” he said seriously.

“I wish you would trust me to tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m just… cleaning up a little bit…”

He means taking care of the mess he made with the other person downstairs…

“Right,” you said dubiously, and trailed off. There was more you wanted to say but you were… not sure how your questions would affect you later so you just turned around and climbed the stairs.

In the bedroom, you switched the light on, and proceeded to get ready for bed. As you displayed yourself majestically on the bed, hoping to get a good reaction from Adam when he joined you, you thought about some things.

It dampened your mood, unfortunately, but you did wonder about Adam’s loyalty. What the hell was the relationship you had with him? It was like you didn’t exist. You were only there for him when he needed you. You wanted Adam’s love again.

Adam smiled at you when he saw the sight waiting for him. “Well, Y/N. What have we here? Is someone asking for something?”

You would have looked excitedly into his eyes, if you weren’t feeling so somber at the moment. You kept your gaze cast down. “Why do you sleep with other people?” You asked him bluntly, your heart beating loudly, shaking you like an earthquake shakes the earth.

“It’s nothing personal, you know,” he said.

“Then why do you fuck them and not me?” You demanded.

Adam sighed. “You’re my love, Y/N, you know.” His tone was dull and he didn’t meet your gaze. He let his hand fall to yours, and swiftly he removed the pretty, sticky, ring pop from your finger. He discarded it into the wastebasket beside the bed, and then fumbled in the bedside table. He replaced the old one with a new one, and then proceeded to kiss your lips. “You’re always my VIP.”

You looked at the ring pop on your finger again halfheartedly, starting to feel better again. “Really?”

Adam nodded briefly. “Of course.”

“Promise to play house with me forever…”

Adam only watched you disdainfully. “Just relax. You know I have to go back out in the morning.”

Your heart was torn out again. Oh yeah… That’s right… he doesn’t give a fuck about me…

“I love you,” you whispered.

“You, too,” he replied unenthusiastically. “Just remember the ring pop, Y/N. You can never leave me. You won’t.”

You sighed and sank down into the mattress. That ring pop. Oh, that damned, fucking ring pop! How much importance it held. The very meaning of its purpose! It was almost like a marking; an unbreakable bond that was signed off at marriage. It kept you here, trapped you here; a rope of captivity tying you to him for eternity. There was no escaping this… but did you even want to? Something about the way the sharp splinters cut into your skin made you want to tie the knot tighter.

But you knew Adam didn’t love you. Not really at least. Maybe there were times when he returned and he DID remember what he fell in love with, but that part of him was gone. Had been for a long time now. Ever since he married you. Ever since you gave him all your money. But he HAD loved you once upon a time. He HAD cared. He HAD wanted you. And it broke your heart to see it all gone now.

Is this unhealthy? You wondered. Should I leave? Do I want to? You stared up at Adam and the answer came to you instantly. That miserable look in his eyes. He DID need you, just as you needed him. You both were tethered to each other, simply by one existing element: a lonely ring pop that destroyed all of the current reality. You longed for Adam’s love, and somewhere Adam longed for something from you as well, whatever that might be. And together the two combined to make a perfect match out of a million little flaws.

You wondered about Adam, as well. Was he the same person as before? It didn’t really appear like it. Sometimes instead of tying YOU up, the prickly rope tied around ADAM, and he forgot what he was doing. Got confused and disoriented. Got consumed in his lie.

Was he going to come back to you one day? Was he going to come back to his senses? Did he want that? Did YOU want that?

As much as you hated it, you did know the reason for his infidelity. He was lost. He didn't know what he wanted. He got his money, then lost himself. He was looking for something in them. But he held on to you because... well, you were natural.

Normal.

Everything he needed.

That was why he kept coming back. That was why he stayed. And that was why he left.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered in your ear softly. “Usually you're squirming by this time.” His voice was low and ominous.

In a rush, the world came crashing down on top of you. White noise filled your ears and darkness consumed your vision. You gasped. Adam was touching on you inappropriately in between the legs, and sending kisses down your jaw. You groaned and rocked your hips into his palm. “A-Adam. Hi. Yes. I-I’m with you.”

“Better be,” Adam mumbled. “Don't leave me like that again.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, I love you.” Adam’s voice softened and an ounce of actuality crept into it.

You inhaled sharply. Sometimes you could still hear HIM in his voice. Maybe Adam COULD come back? Maybe, just maybe, he would want to?

“And I love you, Adam…”

Always.

.

.

A/N I’m sorry for the sad story. Also, I love how this one turned out. It bleeds tragedy and heartbreak. It’s everything that I dream about writing one day, (not to mention I actually worked really hard to paint the exact picture I had in my mind.) so I'd love it if people would drop a like to let me know what they thought. Thanks so much for the support. I don’t express it but I do appreciate all of you!

~ TwooneZ

Anything For You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one's inspired by Disturbed's song You're Mine. (Lol i need new creativity...)

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You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your clothes were portrayed neatly on your body, your hair was tied back nicely and your shoes fit closely on your feet. You grumbled at yourself in disgust. You pulled a bag from your closet and looked at it with your formal outfit. It was square and blocky, it didn’t look good with your outfit but it was the only one you had. It was five thirty, you were supposed to be meeting with Adam Stanheight in a half hour, but for some reason you were reluctant instead of excited.

You’d been on two dates with him already, both of which had been exceptional, however at this point in time you were having anxiety and doubts. You wondered if Adam would think you were pretty enough. Smart enough. Good enough. He had expressed multiple times that he DID think you were pretty, and smart, and good enough. You were still worried about it though.

You took down your hair, and readjusted it. You tied it, and untied it. Tied it, untied it. This went on for several minutes until you decided not to bother at all. You left it how it was before. Then you grabbed your bag and walked out the door.

Adam Faulkner was waiting for you by the door when you arrived. He smiled at you warmly and offered out his arm. “Hello, beautiful.”

You slunk in next to him, and bashfully looked around the yard, wondering where your nosy neighbors were at that exact moment. You felt very self conscious. “H-Hi… Where are we… going?”

Adam was patient with you. He didn’t try to rush you into anything. “Well, I was thinking about going out to dinner. Is there anywhere you want to go specifically?”

You kept your gaze on the ground. “N-No… Not really.”

“No? Okay.” He gestured to the car. “Well, let me take you out anyway.”

You got into the passenger’s seat awkwardly, and folded your hands in your lap repeatedly. Adam sat down next to you confidently. He seemed to know exactly where he was going. You hummed a song to yourself quietly, not wanting to interrupt the silence.

“How’s your day been?” Adam asked.

You thought about his question for a few minutes. “Lonely,” you said at last. “I don’t really know. I don’t feel that great today.”

Adam shortly pulled to a stop in a grassy lot. A tiny garden was just up ahead, you knew because you’d been there before. It was shrouded by trees and vines, and brush. Various flowers were in the middle of the small clearing, making a cute combination of pinks, reds, oranges, and purples. Azaleas, roses, marigolds, and catmint made up the arrangement. It smelled wonderful.

You looked over at Adam, your fine clothes feeling thin, as though they weren’t really there. Your bottom lip trembled, and your face flushed white. You felt dizzy. “Wh-Wh-What are we doing here?”

Adam took your hand and helped you out of the car. He took you into the garden hastily. You tripped after him, puzzled. What had led Adam to bring you here? Weren’t you getting dinner? “I just want you to relax, Y/N. Tonight is about you.”

“What?” You mumbled. “But… It’s OUR date…”

“Well,” Adam shrugged. “Maybe it’s FOR both of us, but it’s ABOUT you. Come on, I’m trying to cheer you up. You’ve looked sad for a couple days now.”

You hung your head. “I… don’t understand. Weren’t we going out to eat?”

“If that’s what you want. It didn’t seem to appeal much to you. But anyway, I came here to make you feel better.” He brought his hand up to your cheek. “I love you.”

You looked away, feeling awkward. How could you possibly be loved by someone? “Uh…”

Adam pushed you onto the grass. You feel on your butt roughly. “What?”

Adam sat next to you. “I love you…” He hummed out musically.

You kept your gaze on the ground and didn’t say anything. Adam leaned down so that he was laying on his back, staring at the sky, with his arms under his head. “I love it here,” he told you. “It’s so nice and comforting.”

You felt your heart flutter a little bit. What was that feeling? Why did it… tickle so much? “Yeah. It’s gorgeous,” you agreed halfheartedly. Though you were hesitant, it was still your opinion. You really DID like it here.

But something was unnatural. Liveliness was stirring inside you. But… you never felt alive, that wasn’t something that happened to you usually.

Laying down on your stomach, you muttered, “Why do you love me?”

You felt Adam shift behind you. He sat up and dropped his arm around your shoulders. You sighed, and relaxed under him. You felt… good for the first time in a long time. “Because, you’re the most special person in my life, Y/N. You make me feel things so unexplainable… it's unreal. I enjoy our time together. I enjoy how you make me laugh. You’re brilliant, Y/N, and I hope you realize that.”

You sighed, and rolled over so that you were facing him. Adam looked down at you peacefully. You felt warmth spread through your whole body, and you gazed into his face warily. “Adam…” You squeaked desperately. “You know… you mean a lot to me, as well. It’s been such a long time since I felt something so good. After everything that’s happened lately… it’s been hard for me to be strong. But… You know everything that I need. I care for you so much.”

Adam smiled, and tilted his head to the side. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here for you whenever you need it. I want you to be happy. And I’m never going to leave you. Ever.”

You wrapped your arms around Adam’s neck, and he lowered himself on top of you. “You’re never, EVER, gonna leave me?” You whispered quietly into his ear. “But what if… What if you CAN’T be there?”

Adam huffed. His warm breath passed down your neck. “ ‘Can’t’?” He repeated, amused. “What do you think I’m going to be doing? I’ve made YOU my first priority.”

You shivered under him, and almost started crying. Adam’s words made you feel so good, and you hugged him closer. “I love you.”

Adam nuzzled your cheek. “I love you, too.” He pressed a kiss to your sensitive collar bones, and you moaned out.

What was this? Why did you actually feel… okay? It was a slow rising in your stomach and chest that made you feel safe. You looked into Adam’s eyes. All that you ever needed was right there in front of you. How had it taken you so long to realize? There was a numbness in your mind that you hadn’t felt in a very long time; it was like you were finally letting go of your insecurities.

You had never realized that one could do that. You always thought that you were destined to be alone and depressed all the time. You were surprised that you could actually let go of your fears and betrayals and just live life. It was Adam that did that to you. Without him, you would still be a hermit inside your labyrinth of walls. You’d never be able to get out again. But something was stirring deep within you. Your mindset was changing ever so slightly. If only you could feel that you deserved the love you were receiving.

Adam’s lips had gone from your neck to your chin during your musing. You’d barely even felt them, but now that they were creeping up on your lips you were drawn to them once more.

Sparkling waves of bliss coated your mouth. “I get it now,” you mumbled around his lips. “I’m better when I am with you, you deliver me from the pain in my life. Easy now to recognize, all the misery I have been through, it was beating me to submission ‘till the day you arrived.”

Adam pulled back for a moment and looked at you. “Those are some powerful words, Y/N.”

“All true. I’ve realized that the feelings you make me feel are positive. Strength I had lost was revived, and building inside and we both know why. ‘Cause you’re mine.”

“Romantic,” Adam whispered wryly.

“Don’t go,” you whimpered sadly. “Please. I don’t like being alone.”

Adam rubbed his thumb across your cheek. “We can’t stay here forever.”

You let out a sob. “Please…”

Stanheight sighed. “I was hoping to drop by a client’s house tomorrow.”

“Can I come with you?” You asked immediately.

Adam gazed at you in amusement. “When I said ‘leave’ I didn’t mean it physically.”

“Well, I need you physically with me,” you groaned.

“Alright,” Adam agreed. “You can come.”

“Does that mean you’re going to stay with me?”

“I suppose I don’t have a choice now, do I?”

“Being with you makes me feel good,” you spluttered self consciously. You could feel heat crawling up your cheeks like you were a jungle gym. It made you feel vulnerable.

“How can I say ‘no’ to that? Of course I’ll stay with you.”

You smiled at him shyly. “Thank you. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I just really need this right now.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for. I understand that we all have times when we feel really low. And that’s why I’m here: to lift you up again.”

You nodded. “Alright.”

Faulkner kissed you again, blurring reality and fantasy together. You hardly had time to get a breath before you were making-out. His warm lips on yours, his soft hands under your shirt, his scent in your nose. It made you dizzy, and you closed your eyes, trying to get more of him, trying to feel more of him. All your mind could concentrate on was the persistence of his mouth. How it made you feel, how it knew what it was doing. It lulled you and hyped you up at the same time.

God, this was wonderful.

Finally after a long time, you were pulling away. It could have easily been as long as a half hour, but to you it felt like mere seconds. You were stunned and your lips felt like they were buzzing slightly. You blinked. “Woah…” you whispered.

Adam picked you up off the ground, and carried you back to the car. “Y/N, I need you to understand. I’m here to make you whole again.” He dumped you into the passenger’s seat. “To help you rediscover, and resurrect someone who’d died.”

“Wow,” you drawled slowly. “That’s a lot.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“This is why I need you.”

Adam took the wheel and gave you a wink. “I’m here for you always.”

You sank back into the chair, and fastened your seatbelt. Adam took you home, though he didn’t plan on leaving you all alone tonight. Obviously, you needed some self care and affection. He didn’t want you to suffer this by yourself. He loved you so much, and he wanted you to see that just as he did. You were perfect, no matter what you thought or said about yourself. And he would get you to see it, too. One day.

Right now though, unfortunately, was not the day. Some work would need to be put into this, but he believed in you, even if nobody else did. To him, you were the most important thing in his life, seeing you so down made him feel unhappy as well. But the future was clear and bright to him, even though it wasn’t for you. Easily, Adam could already see all the great things that you and him were going to accomplish together.

All it took was just a little bit of faith…

And you would learn that, too.

All's Not Forsaken - Adam Stanheight / Reader

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

A/N - Inspired by Disturbed's song, The Light. I hope you enjoy!

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

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It was Wednesday, three pm. Work had just finished for you, and as always, you’d gone to grab something to drink with your friends; Adam Faulkner Stanheight was included, of course. You were just leaving, your right hand getting cold from holding the fourth drink, it was your fiancé’s. 

You had been quiet for most of the trip from work to here. You could sense Adam’s depression as soon as you’d seen him, but you hadn’t had the heart to bring it up with him in front of your friends. You tried to tell yourself that it was just your anxiety, but you knew better than that. 

Adam greeted you with a smile though. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles either, it was genuine; one of those ‘I’m so happy to see you’ and ‘I love you so much,’ smiles. He hugged you. 

Adam though had chosen to stay in the car while you went into the shop with your friends. He hadn’t even requested anything, but you had ordered something for him anyway. You didn’t want him to miss out. That would have made you feel really sad! 

The weather had been clear for most of the day, however when work ended for you it started pouring, hail and rain were mixed in. You were unsatisfied to see that it hadn’t changed while you were ordering your drinks. You bobbed your head up and down to the song playing on the radio, as you waited for your friends to finish adjusting their coffees. You had gone through the alphabet twice when they arrived. 

Slowly, while laughing and joking, you walked back to Adam, who had his forehead on the top of the steering wheel, so as to not interrupt the silence with loud honking. Your demeanor changed at the sight. Seeing your significant other look so desolate made you unhappy. Your friends had wandered off together to go look in one of the strip malls. 

You pried the door open with a pinky finger, and then set your drink into one of the cup holders. “Hey, Adam,” you whispered. 

Adam Faulkner sat back, wiping at his eyes incessantly, trying to look completely laid back. “You’re back. Where’d your friends go?”

You attempted to ignore the sadness drifting off of Adam. “Over there.” You pointed to a shop across the street, and squinted your eyes to keep the sunlight out of them. From the corner of your vision though, you caught Adam trying not to break down. 

At first you were going to let him solve it, and not bring attention to his feelings. But after five antagonizing minutes, you got reckless. Watching him try to cover up sobs - and failing at it, by the way - was too much to bear. 

“Adam,” you breathed empathetically, and came around to his side. You straddled his lap. “I got you something.” You lifted the drink to Adam’s lips. 

Adam turned his head away. “I’m not thirsty.”

But that didn’t stop you. You turned his head towards you again, and tipped the cup forward. Adam gagged in surprise, but then took the cup from you, downing a quarter of its contents one go. 

When he was able to talk again, he looked at you in bewilderment. “You got my favorite…”

You smiled in amusement. “Of course!”

“Heh… thanks.” Adam looked insecure, as he put the cup into the holder next to yours. 

“Better?” You asked. To your disappointment, Adam shook his head. “No? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Adam just gazed at you heartbrokenly. He looked on the verge of tears. You opened your arms to him. “Come here,” you encouraged. 

Adam laid his head on your shoulder and started crying. He was so distraught it hurt you. You put your chin on top of his head, and breathed in his scent. 

The shoulder of your shirt was getting soaked from Adam’s tears, but you didn’t mind really. All that mattered to you right now was Stanheight. Your fiancé was having a difficult time as of late, due to traumatic past events. You felt really bad for him. 

Wrapping your arms around Adam’s waist, you pulled him close. There was no sound except for Adam’s weak crying. You held him tightly, rocking back and forth like you would a baby. The hollowness in your stomach increased with every breath released from his lungs. If only there was something you could do for him. 

“It’s alright,” you murmured. “I’m here with you.” You lifted your hands up his back comfortingly. “I’ll always be here.” Adam pressed closer, but didn’t say anything. “Please don’t shut me out, Adam. What’s wrong?”

You waited patiently for Adam to gather himself, and then he gazed at you. His eyes were red and squinted, tears were running down his face, and his skin was pale white. “Hi…” You greeted reassuringly once his eyes came up to yours. 

Adam choked lamely, unable to speak. It broke your heart. “I love you,” he mustered, his voice wavering. 

You felt something crack inside of you. Having your groom-to-be look at you like he would never see you again and tell you that he loved you, was so touching, but also horrible. You didn’t like seeing him look at you like that, but his words were so sweet, you almost started crying as well. 

You knew you had to be strong for Adam though. Crying wasn’t going to make him feel better. You frowned sadly at him. “Awe… I love you, too, Adam.”

“Why?” Adam asked unhappily. 

“ ‘Why’?” You repeated, shocked. “Why is space infinite? I don’t know, I just do. You’re my best friend.”

“But how?” Faulkner tilted his head at you, searching your eyes for some kind of answer. “What did I do for you? I’m just the pathetic, mentally-unstable, person in the friend group.”

You blew out a saddened breath, your chest falling in on itself. Ouch. 

“You’re so much more than that, baby,” you insisted. “You work so hard at your job. You’re so passionate about it. And you love taking care of people… Especially me,” you winked at him. 

Adam shook his head and coughed on another sob. “I’m not as good as you think,” he grumbled. 

You leaned your head down to his ear. “How so? Explain to me, how so?” 

Adam grabbed your shoulders tighter. “I’m… I’m…” Your fiancé had to think for a moment. “I’m a mess, Y/N. I’m so stuck in the past. I can’t even walk into the bathroom at night without turning the lights on. I should be better for you.”

“No,” you whispered emphatically, and pulled your head back to look at him, insistence shining in your (e/c) eyes. “You don’t need to be better. I don’t need you to be like that at all! You’ve been through something terribly traumatic. There’s nothing you CAN do. It’s okay to feel weak, Adam. You’re okay. I love you so much.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You sighed. “And cars shouldn’t pollute the atmosphere, but that hasn’t changed. So, why will I?” You responded wittily, then added more seriously.  “I DO love you. HAVE, loved you. WILL love you. You can’t make me change my mind. I know who you are on the inside, and I know that it’s hard for you to accept that you’re worth my time, but that won’t make me love you any less. One day you will get it.”

“I’m sorry…”

“None of this is your fault.”

Adam glared at you. “I NEED to be better. YOU need me to be better. I’m useless with what I’m doing right now. I can’t believe I thought going back to photography was going to be enough.”

You grasped Adam’s cheeks in your hands. “YOU are all I need. That’s it. You. I don’t care about anything else. And don’t you realize what going back to photography has done for you? It’s something, baby; you can’t blame this on that. If it weren’t for the photography, you wouldn’t be HERE. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but it’s doing so much more than you even realize. I can see it. You can’t see it yet, but I can. And I’m so proud of you.”

Adam Stanheight was stunned by your speech. He stared at you in amazement, like you’d just grown wings and learned to fly. A shockwave of emotions came crashing over him. An avalanche of feelings just so supreme to anything else it unleashed another rain storm of tears. Faulkner hugged you, pushing his head into your other shoulder. Pretty soon both your sleeves would be wet. 

You bit your lower lip. “I love you, Adam,” you breathed out desperately. “You’re so good, already. I love you.”

Adam leaned back in the chair and nodded. “I love you, too.”

You smiled contentedly. “Alright. You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Adam told you sadly.

You combed your hand through his hair and trailed it down his face. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good today.”

“Mmmh,” Adam grunted and leaned his cheek into your palm, a miserable expression on his face. 

“Lemme grab my friends, okay?”

Adam glanced at you worriedly. “Alright.”

“I’ll be back.”

Adam nodded, and you stepped out of the car. You turned around speedily, coming face to face with both of your friends. You stumbled back hesitantly, eyes wide. They were watching you awkwardly. “Um… We didn’t want to interrupt,” one of the friends said.

“Oh, you heard that?” You asked.

“Why don’t we just head home?” The other friend suggested. 

“Right…” you remained standing there for a little bit, until one of your friends opened the back car door. They both slid inside nervously, and you entered through the passenger’s side. 

“We’re all ready, I think, Adam,” you informed him. Your fiancé fumbled with the keys numbly, as he started the drive back towards your apartments. 

The radio started playing, making you jump. You let your head fall back against the headrest, you closed your eyes, and rolled the window down slightly. The cool air blew into your face and hair, and did somewhat soothe you. 

“-An unforgivable tragedy. 

The answer isn’t where you think you’d find it.

Prepare yourself for the reckoning, for when your world seems to crumble again.”

Subconsciously, you tapped your foot to the beat, which was heavy and strong. The car jerked wildly to the right, then straightened out.

“Don’t be afraid, don’t turn away.

You’re the one who can redefine it.”

There was some more wobbling of the car. 

“Don’t let hope become a memory.

Let the shadow permeate your mind, and reveal the thoughts that were tucked away, so that the door can be opened again.”

There was a whimper from somewhere next to you, and you were thrown to the left roughly. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know it was a windy road.

“Within your darkest memories, lies the answer if you dare to find it.

Don’t let hope become a memory.

When you think all is forsaken, 

Listen to me now.

All’s not forsaken.

You need never feel broken again.

Sometimes darkness can show you the light.”

You were shoved so far to the right, your head banged the glass window. You opened your eyes then, and looked at the driver. Adam was trying to keep his eyes on the road while miserably trying not to cry. His face was strained with the effort and his hands were planted so tightly on the wheel that they were white. 

“You need strengthening, toughening.

It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you.

Ignite the fire within you.”

Adam struggled to get the car back into the lane. Cars were coming at you from the opposite direction. In a panic you slammed your hands on the wheel, wrenching Adam away from it entirely. “Stop!” You yelled. “Brake! Brake!” 

Adam was petrified to the chair. He watched in horror as your friends screamed in the backseat. You jerked the wheel back to the right, just narrowly missing a passing car. Your heart beat heavily in your chest as the car slowly started to comply with your demands. Adam still hadn’t found the mental state to press one the brakes, or at least hit the hazard lights. You were all on your own.

Three more cars streaked past you. You tried not to flinch. “ADAM!” You wailed. “ADAM! Help me!” You could feel the car drift over on to the correct side again. “Brake! Adam!” The car was steadily increasing in speed. You tried to keep your eyes on the road and not on the speedometer. Fifty, fifty one, fifty two - road. Fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty, sixt one - road. 

There was a loud slap from right next to you, and a large gust of wind. Your friend was shrieking profanities at your frightened fiancé. They had slapped him in an attempt to wake him from his stupor. 

Adam flinched, finally tearing his gaze away from the windshield. He hit the brakes with full force. The car skidded, sliding fifty feet in its wake, and screaming all the way down. Faulkner was crying at this point, as would anyone. The song had changed and was playing Can’t Buy Me Love - by the Beatles. You flicked your fingers onto the dashboard, silencing the car stereo once and for all. 

You looked up at Adam, who was bright red, and sobbing quietly to himself. He looked mortified. Gazing back at the two others in the car, you asked, “Everyone alright back there?”

“I think so.”

“Yeah.”

“What about you, Adam?” You turned back to him.

Adam had gone completely white in the face. He was shaking and shuddering. His hands were trembling, and his lips were bleeding from his biting. Your heart shattered, and you leaned over and kissed him. Your mouth was filled with the flavor of iron. “You okay?” You asked him. 

Adam couldn’t talk. He only gaped at you in terror. You hugged him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe with me.”

“What happened!?” Someone yelled from the back. 

Adam whimpered. He choked and gagged, before he could finally speak. When he did, he could only whisper very quietly. You were the only one that could hear his response. “I was… just…” Deep breath in. “I was just…” Deep breath out. “I was just trying… The song made me think about you…”

Your mouth fell open. “Oh… Come here.”

“I tried not to… but it made me feel like… I was valid again… You know, that feeling when you’re drowning, but instead of dying your breathing… It was like that… And I lost control of the car… I’m such a fucking idiot.”

You hugged Adam. “No. No, you’re not. It’s okay. Accidents happen.”

“I almost got you killed! I almost got us all killed! How did I even pass my driver’s test?”

“Shh. That was a long time ago. You passed because you know what you’re doing.”

“Are you sure about that last part!?” One of your friends chimed in. 

You cast them a glare from over your shoulder. “Let’s just take a break from driving for a little bit,” you said worriedly. 

Adam started to undo his seatbelt immediately. He was shaking incredibly. 

“Why don’t you let me drive?” You asked. 

Adam struggled to crawl over you but you both managed to switch places without getting out of the car. It was a miracle, for sure. You started up the car, your two friends exchanging disbelieving looks with each other, and headed back towards home, Adam a total mess of a breakdown right now.  This time, the radio remained off for the rest of the car ride, and everyone made it home unharmed. The same could not be said for Adam, though. Your poor fiancé ended up blaming himself for the mistake; he would not allow himself into the driver’s seat again for the next twelve months. 

Well, there was a work in progress. But you still loved him, and that would never change. Try telling HIM that, though.