Totally Writing A Fic Based On This

Totally writing a fic based on this

I'm glad we're all shifting from "Bruce is so cool and swavy..god look at him go getting all the ladies such a gentleman 😍😘😘"

to

"Nah this man is fucking weird but gosh do we love him..."

Fellas, I've seen one too many Wing!fics where Batman does not have the right wings. Sometimes, the most obvious answer is the right one.

AKA, Batman needs bat wings and I take no criticisms

The rest of the Justice League: I am fighting this fairly serious villain. He wants money and power. I must stop him and his conventionally armed goons.

Batman, stone faced: I am fighting Jellyfish-Gal and Wobbly Gang. They want to turn all of Gotham into jelly-based aquatic life and force the mayor to fund their biweekly tap dancing lessons. I must stop the Wobbly Gang from using their squid launchers to incapacitate people and take them for experimentation.

The fact that Basil Karlo didn't just become like the best actor of all time is hilarious to me. Like, when he realized he was this clay monster thing, I understand wanting to go after Dagget. I get the whole 'showing people what the face cream did to me,' totally valid.

What I don't get is, when his friend was like, "Dude you can turn into different people! You could become an even better actor!!!" He immediately turns into someone and is like "it's too hard :( It's like constantly flexing a muscle :( I can't keep doing it :("

Like, dude, if you just got a new muscle that you've never used before, you're going to have to practice more than once for two seconds to make it work. Like, at least give it a month before you decide to become a criminal.

You know how if a cat sits on your lap you can't get up?

This with Dick.

Dick, shuffles into the Batcave, clutching Zitka and climbs onto Bruce's lap: Mmmph

Bruce, who is working a homicide case involving Scarface: ?????

Dick, nuzzling into Bruce's chest and making a smacking noise before sleeping: zzzzzzzz

Bruce, now holding his breath and hesitantly petting Dick's head: *noise of contentment*

Bonus:

Alfred, walking into the cave to yell at Bruce for keeping Dick up late on a school night and finding them: EEEEEEH!

Alfred, clears his throat and grabs the fuzzy blanket to throw over the two of them

Bat Titties!