Have Some More

Have Some more

Grian: If anyone needs me, then fuck off.

Pearl: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Scott a little bit. BigB, holding Pearl's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Pearl: No, that's our joint tombstone. BigB: My mistake.

Bdubs: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? BigB: Wait, what’s the difference? Bdubs: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Scott: I hate you. Pearl: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Impulse: What is your favourite mythical story? BigB: The Story Of My Will To Live. Impulse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Scar: Why is Joel making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Ren! Ren: It’s because I’m Joel’s favorite. Scar: I hate you.

Pearl: Is the pink panther a lion? Impulse: Say that again but slower. Pearl: I don’t get it. Impulse: He’s a PANTHER. Pearl: Is that a type of lion? Impulse: No, it’s a fucking panther. Pearl: *googles panther* They aren’t pink? Impulse: AND LIONS ARE?!

Impulse: Good night. Mumbo: Sleep tight. Tango: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Scar: Great, now Mumbo's crying.

Scar: Pearl, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Pearl: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Joel: What happened?! Pearl: Do you want the long version or the short version? Joel: Sh-short?? Pearl: Shit's fucked. Joel: Okay, long. Pearl: Shit's very fucked.

Scar & Tango:*Playing video games* Joel: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? Scar: *silence* Tango: *silence* Joel, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? Scar & Tango in shame: Yeah...

Joel to Cleo, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one. Tango, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves. Scar: That sounds so threatening… Skizz: The Wedding Games… Scott: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor. Cleo: Beautiful. Joel: Fuck all of you!

Impulse, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Tango: Blue flavor! Impulse: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Tango: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Impulse: Blue is not a flavor! Tango: BLUE FLAVOR!

Impulse: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Grian: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Jimmy: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Tango: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Grian: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Grian: *cuts piece of cake* Joel: ...Can I have some? Grian: Cake is for talkers.

Scott: Oooh, a train! Jimmy: We’re in a train station, Scott.

Gem: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Bdubs: The cow?? Gem:What? Impulse: Bdubs, W H Y?

Pearl: *sneaking in through their window* BigB: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night? Pearl: I was with Jimmy? Jimmy: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Scar: You can track Pearl? Jimmy: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

Tango: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Martyn: So, Scar and Gem. Martyn: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Scar: We had a bad day. Martyn: And… MURDER?! Gem: It was a pretty bad day…

Bdubs: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Martyn: *crouches down* Joel: *kneels down* Cleo: *sits on the floor* Bdubs: Bdubs: I hate all of you.

THE RED VELVET KEEP

Enjoy your meal!

Grian: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Scar: Lilacs and poppies, why? Grian: Scar: Were you going to get me flowers? Grian: Scar: Grian: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Scar: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Grian: Aren't you forgetting something? Scar: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Grian's forehead before running out.* Grian: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Grian: Are we fighting or flirting? Scar: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Grian: Your point?

Grian: I feel like doing something stupid. Scar: I’m stupid, do me.

Scar, sweating: Grian, there’s something I need to ask you- Grian: Finally! You’re proposing! Scar: How’d you know? Grian: Scar, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner. Grian: I even picked it up once.

Scar: Hey, Grian, what do you think it would be like if we had kids? Grian: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly. Scar: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it? Grian: Can't really say I have. Scar: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes. Grian: Sorry, Scar. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

Scar: Grian, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right? Grian, naked in Scar's bed: No, I absolutely do not. Scar, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Grian: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Scar: Oh. We're going out? Grian: Wh...

Etho: *about Scar and Grian* They make a cute couple, huh? Bdubs: They certainly are standing next to each other.

Bdubs: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? Scar: We're chopsticks! Bdubs: Well... that's cute! Bdubs: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? Grian: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

Bdubs: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. Scar: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. *Grian walks in* Scar: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Scar: Guys, my friend here is bilingual. Grian: Yes. Scar: Which means they like both boys and girls. Grian: Ye- wait, what- Bdubs: Scar, that's not what bilingual means- Scar: Shhh, it's okay Grian. I still love you, man. Grian & Bdubs: ... Scar: bUT NOT LIKE THAT-

Has anyone got any fluffy fic reccomendations? Preferably Scarian or Ethubs. Also sorry I haven't posted in a lil bit my mental health just went a bit brrr.

ALSO HAVE SOME MORE INCORRECT QUOTES!

Tango: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Joel: I really care about your feelings! Lizzie: I really care about YOUR feelings! Tango, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Scar: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Grian: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU

Bdubs: God, if only someone loved me… Etho: *standing behind them with roses* Grian: *holding box of chocolates* Cleo: *has balloons and a card* Joel: *facepalms* This is sad.

Grian: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Scar: It’s my turn to cuddle Mumbo. Grian: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!

Etho: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Bdubs: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Etho: Yes. Bdubs: I'd sleep.

*Grian comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Scar’s bedroom.* Scar: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Grian: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a husband. Grian: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Scar: ...

Jimmy: Talk dirty to me~ Tango: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high. Jimmy: Wha- Tango: The economy is in shambles.

Jimmy: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute. Scott: Jimmy, that’s gay. Jimmy: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Tango: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Grian: What’s up your ass this morning! Jimmy: *walks in* ...Hey. Grian: Hmm… nevermind. Tango: WAIT NO!

Grian: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex? Joel: Sex. Etho: Seriously, answer faster. Joel: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you. Etho: It’s like a giant hug. Grian: Scott, what about you? What would you give up sex or food? Scott: Food. Grian: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs? Scott: Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice. Ren: What about you Scar? What would you give up sex or food? Scar: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard. Ren: No, you gotta pick one. Scar: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

Tango: Etho doesn’t deserve you. Tango: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone. Bdubs: I'm gone. Tango: Now go chop their dick off!

THE RED VELVET KEEP

since y'all like the incorrect quotes so much, here's some more!

Grian, on the phone: So no head? Grian: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*

Bdubs: Do you love Grian? Scar: Yeah, I do. Bdubs: Etho! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks! Etho: We all love Grian. You should've asked if they were IN love with them. Scar: I thought that was implied. Etho: ... Bdubs: ... Scar, looking straight at Etho: Congrats Bdubs, you just won 100 bucks.

Bdubs: You know, Grian gives Scar flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too. Etho: Okay. *Later* Etho: *gives Scar flowers* Scar: ??? Etho: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

Scar: What are you getting Etho for the holidays? Bdubs: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet. Grian: I'm getting Etho a divorce lawyer.

Scar: *sees Etho and Bdubs together* Scar: They're cute. I would put them on a boat. Grian: You mean... you ship them?

Scar: Hey Etho, wanna third wheel on my date with Grian tomorrow? Etho: Sure. Scar: Bdubs! Wanna third wheel on my date with Grian tomorrow? Scar: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date! Etho & Bdubs: ... Grian: Scar...

Bdubs: Why are your tongues purple? Grian: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Scar: I had a red one. Bdubs: oh. Bdubs: Bdubs: OH. Etho: Etho: You drank eachothers slushies?

Grian: I love you. Scar: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *Grian and Scar kiss passionately* Etho, to Bdubs: You owe me 20 dollars.

Etho: I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call? Scar: No. No, Etho, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Etho calls Bdubs. Number five: Grian gets eaten by a shark. Grian: I’m Grian, and I approve the order of that list.

*Trying to cheer Bdubs after a break up* Grian: You broke up with Etho for a reason. Bdubs: I know, I know. I’m just so tired of missing them. Tired of wondering why they haven’t called. Why haven’t they called? Scar: Maybe because you told them not to. Bdubs: What are you, the Memory Person?

Scar: I'm so happy, I could kiss you! Grian: Um...Neat. *later* Grian, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Etho. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid. Etho, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Grian. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Bdubs confessed their love for me? Grian: Didn't you thank them? Etho: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked them.

Scar: *yawns* Grian: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring. Scar: Then you must be exhuasted. Bdubs: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

Scar: Why doesn’t Grian find me sexy when I bite my lip? Etho: What do you look like when you bite your lip? Scar: *bites lip* Etho: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?