Have Some More

Have Some more

Grian: If anyone needs me, then fuck off.

Pearl: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Scott a little bit. BigB, holding Pearl's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Pearl: No, that's our joint tombstone. BigB: My mistake.

Bdubs: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? BigB: Wait, what’s the difference? Bdubs: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Scott: I hate you. Pearl: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Impulse: What is your favourite mythical story? BigB: The Story Of My Will To Live. Impulse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Scar: Why is Joel making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Ren! Ren: It’s because I’m Joel’s favorite. Scar: I hate you.

Pearl: Is the pink panther a lion? Impulse: Say that again but slower. Pearl: I don’t get it. Impulse: He’s a PANTHER. Pearl: Is that a type of lion? Impulse: No, it’s a fucking panther. Pearl: *googles panther* They aren’t pink? Impulse: AND LIONS ARE?!

Impulse: Good night. Mumbo: Sleep tight. Tango: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Scar: Great, now Mumbo's crying.

Scar: Pearl, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Pearl: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Joel: What happened?! Pearl: Do you want the long version or the short version? Joel: Sh-short?? Pearl: Shit's fucked. Joel: Okay, long. Pearl: Shit's very fucked.

Scar & Tango:*Playing video games* Joel: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? Scar: *silence* Tango: *silence* Joel, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? Scar & Tango in shame: Yeah...

Joel to Cleo, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one. Tango, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves. Scar: That sounds so threatening… Skizz: The Wedding Games… Scott: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor. Cleo: Beautiful. Joel: Fuck all of you!

Impulse, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Tango: Blue flavor! Impulse: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Tango: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Impulse: Blue is not a flavor! Tango: BLUE FLAVOR!

Impulse: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Grian: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Jimmy: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Tango: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Grian: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Grian: *cuts piece of cake* Joel: ...Can I have some? Grian: Cake is for talkers.

Scott: Oooh, a train! Jimmy: We’re in a train station, Scott.

Gem: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Bdubs: The cow?? Gem:What? Impulse: Bdubs, W H Y?

Pearl: *sneaking in through their window* BigB: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night? Pearl: I was with Jimmy? Jimmy: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Scar: You can track Pearl? Jimmy: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

Tango: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Martyn: So, Scar and Gem. Martyn: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Scar: We had a bad day. Martyn: And… MURDER?! Gem: It was a pretty bad day…

Bdubs: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Martyn: *crouches down* Joel: *kneels down* Cleo: *sits on the floor* Bdubs: Bdubs: I hate all of you.

GRIAN THE FLIRT?

Credits to @watarfallar! I love their incorrect quotes sm that i had to draw it xo

Og post here

Has anyone got any fluffy fic reccomendations? Preferably Scarian or Ethubs. Also sorry I haven't posted in a lil bit my mental health just went a bit brrr.

ALSO HAVE SOME MORE INCORRECT QUOTES!

Tango: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Joel: I really care about your feelings! Lizzie: I really care about YOUR feelings! Tango, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Scar: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Grian: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU

Bdubs: God, if only someone loved me… Etho: *standing behind them with roses* Grian: *holding box of chocolates* Cleo: *has balloons and a card* Joel: *facepalms* This is sad.

Grian: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Scar: It’s my turn to cuddle Mumbo. Grian: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT!

Etho: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Bdubs: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Etho: Yes. Bdubs: I'd sleep.

*Grian comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Scar’s bedroom.* Scar: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Grian: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a husband. Grian: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Scar: ...

Jimmy: Talk dirty to me~ Tango: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high. Jimmy: Wha- Tango: The economy is in shambles.

Jimmy: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute. Scott: Jimmy, that’s gay. Jimmy: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Tango: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Grian: What’s up your ass this morning! Jimmy: *walks in* ...Hey. Grian: Hmm… nevermind. Tango: WAIT NO!

Grian: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex? Joel: Sex. Etho: Seriously, answer faster. Joel: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you. Etho: It’s like a giant hug. Grian: Scott, what about you? What would you give up sex or food? Scott: Food. Grian: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs? Scott: Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice. Ren: What about you Scar? What would you give up sex or food? Scar: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard. Ren: No, you gotta pick one. Scar: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

Tango: Etho doesn’t deserve you. Tango: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone. Bdubs: I'm gone. Tango: Now go chop their dick off!

THE RED VELVET KEEP

Imagine

In Scar's most recent hermitcraft video, what if he just put a vase of lilacs and poppies in the windowsill to represent third life? I would cry.

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Martyn: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Ren: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Impulse: Are you sure Skizz's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Skizz: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? Impulse: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. Impulse: Would you like me to tutor you? Tango: That was smooth.

Gem, in Impulse’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Impulse, knocking Gem off: WHAT THE HELL?! Gem: Ow— Impulse: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Gem: I had a nightmare. Impulse: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Gem: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Impulse, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Gem: That is not what I meant— Impulse: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Gem: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Impulse: Yeah, okay- Gem: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Impulse: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Gem, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Impulse: I did not consent to this- Gem, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Impulse, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and she’s six-foot-one, he’s got red hair. Gem: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Impulse: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Gem: Oh, maybe together we could— Impulse: NO. Gem: Just to save water— Impulse: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Gem: …Good point.

Bdubs: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Ren: What did you just say- Bdubs: Foetons! *Laughs* Ren: Wh-what?

Grian, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Scar, the love of my life, for telling me Mumbo was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

Cleo: Bdubs, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Bdubs, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

BigB: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Scott: Being a fish. BigB: Well, shit.

Grian: I am an expert at identifying birds. Bdubs: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Grian: Yeah, they're all birds.

Ren: I’m gonna die alone. Pearl: Ren, you’re not gonna die alone. Ren: Bdubs, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. Scar: Uh-huh. Why is that? Ren: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. Ren: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. Ren: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

Cleo, holding out a cookie for Lizzie: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Lizzie: *Ugly crying* Cleo, holding out another cookie for Pearl: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Pearl, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

Grian: Did you wash the dishes? Mumbo: I thought you wanted to do that... Grian: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Bdubs: Ren, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor. Ren: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

BigB: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

Impulse: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. Tango, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Joel: What's with the new hat? Scott: Oh, this? It's nothing. Scar: It's the loudest nothing I ever saw. Cleo: Scott, you just can't mosey in here with a brand-new hat and act like you're not wearing a brand-new hat. Scott: Look, I'm trying something new, okay? Just take it easy. Etho: He's right, guys. Come on, let's not go down this path. It's ugly... Kinda like that hat– Scott: I got this from a nice store! Joel: What store? The one before you exit the Al Capone Museum? BigB, entering the room: What's up, Scott? Did you just finish Bling Ring-ing Bruno Mars' closet? Scott: I'm being brave, okay? You guys are sheep. You may want to take a long, hard look in the mirror. BigB: Better us than you. You look like a park ranger from a cartoon. Scott: Joel, do you think the hat looks bad? Joel: Oh, uh, me? Um, I... I wouldn't say it was bad. Like, I think it's just different, like something you would wear in Indiana... Jones and the Temple of Bad Hats.

BigB: Well Grian, I have to say, I'm really disappointed. Grian: Well, you didn't HAVE to say it. You could've just thought it.