Thinking About A Jason Todd Priest Au In Which After He Is Thrown In The Lazarus Pit, Tries To Kill Tim

Thinking about a Jason Todd priest au in which after he is thrown in the Lazarus pit, tries to kill Tim and then the Lazarus rage calms down rather than become a crime lord he decides to turn to the church and become a Catholic priest. And part of his journey he decides to separate himself from the batfam and vigilantism for his mental health and stuff. The batfam by this point has realized he's alive and tries to get him back, not into the life but just into the family again. He makes a point not to interact with them in their civilian form (doesn't wanna be in the public eye and they are literally public figures) or in their vigilante form. He also doesn't talk to Talia because interacting with the league of assassins is kind of looking for trouble.

The family still wants to contact him tho so they make it a point to attend church every Sunday so that they can sit in the confession booth and talk to him. They don't say things like "hi Jason" because they know he wouldn't like that they used the confession box to talk to him. So they sit there and talk about their day. About what they've been up to, their regrets after he died, how much they love and miss him, and overall try to give him a sense that hes back in the family without having to rejoin that life.

It isn't just the batfam either, Talia comes by every once in a while, she makes a point to check up on her boys (Damian and Jason) because Jason is her son. She stops by and talks about how Damian is doing, how she is doing, asks questions about the church and confesses some of the things going on in the world that she thinks Jason would like to hear.

How do they know if Jason is the one listening? They just do because they other priests don't let out a soft chuckle when they make a joke about their injuries, and they certainly don't let them stay in the box for extra time. And they of course, can recognize Jason's voice from the other end no matter what. (Jason may or may not have slipped the time table to dick in the booth after dick accidentally confessed to being a vigilante to one of the priests and Jason had to convince him that the man was probably mentally ill.)

The first time Tim came to the booth. It was so quiet. For the first few minutes neither could say a word. Tim's thoughts caught in his throat before he finally blerted out everything. He let it spill how much he cared about Jason despite not knowing him. Jason couldn't hold back the tears that day because one of his biggest regrets was attacking a child. A child who may have taken his place but a child none the less. And for that child to not only forgive him but to love him like a brother? That was a lot.

Eventually, either through pushing from other priests, or him missing his family. Jason makes a visit to the manor. Just to see Alfred, maybe get a glimpse of Damian and Steph. The hug he received from dick and bruce is bruising and he doesn't miss the awkward but if happy smile Tim sends his way. Alfred makes his favorite meal. And he listens as Damian muses about his animals and drawings to his big brother like there has been no time apart. Jason sits happily with Alfred (the cat) in his arms as he listens. This becomes a weekly occurrence.

Tim: jokes on you, your son's my sugar baby 🖕🏼

Tim: Maybe if you aimed to be a little more environmentally friendly in your business practices, Posion Ivy wouldn’t have held your board of directors hostage.

Lex Luthor: I know it was you that leaked those files, I just can’t prove it.

Tim: What? Me? Mr. Luthor, I’m shocked you’d think me capable of such a malicious act.

Lex, slamming his hands on the table, pointing at Tim: Listen here you little shit-

Tim: Hey don’t get mad at me because your security is shit.

Lex: You- I slept with your parents.

Tim: Liar.

Lex: maybe, but you can’t prove I didn’t.

Tim: Which…?

Lex: Parents was plural.

Tim: My mom and dad?

Lex: Yep.

Tim: Liar.

Lex: That’s not all. Ask Bruce what happened in 2002.

Tim: You really are evil you know.

Lex, sitting down: Thank you, I try.

Timkon clone baby au with the grandparents fighting is my favorite thing

Because imagine that Lex Luthor, after finding out he had a grandson, that he didn't know about. And then finding out that the other father is Tim drake. Bruce's son. He now has to fight Bruce for his grandchilds love. And not just Bruce but his test tube baby daddy Clark.

And once Bruce's catches on that Lex knows? He DOUBLES DOWN. he's spoiling that kid so bad Tim has to physically beg him to stop becusse it's making a mess of their house. Lex of course does that same but he also throws in the added bonus of giving that kid the power of Lex Luthor a grand child. You want a new toy? Sure x-ray goggles? Of course. High-tech transportation technology hooked up to your kids jeep car? Anything for you kiddo 🥰. Kon has to physically show up to Lex corp to tell return it because they don't want their child to be travelling across the universe and of course Lex is like "Konner it has a parental control system of course. It'll only transport the kid as far as your back yard"

"they why the hell did it end up in your office yesterday?!?"

"it may have the exception of my office but it can't go anywhere else!"

"THATS STILL NOT OKAY??"

"Well what am I supposed to do Konner! You never bring them to visit! I have feelings too!"

Now Clark may not be able to compete money wise, but experiences? He's got you. He teaches the kid so much about the farm and the animals with Damian of course because uncle Damian is very protective. The kid loves the homemade pies from Martha and the fun they have with uncle Jon! It's not surprise going to the Kent's is one of the kids favorite things!!

Th war continues with the three fighting over best Grandparent only to find out that the kid has already chosen a secret 4th option in the form of one Selina Kyle. Also, imagine timkon kid choosing not to be a bat or a super as to not make their family fight and instead chooses to be a stray with Grandma Selina!

Timkon clone baby au except it's timberkon.

Let me explain: timkon clone baby au happens exactly as expected, except that Bernard still enters the relationship at some point. Timkons clone baby is still young so when Bernard joins and is immediately ready to be father #3 it's almost like breathing how easily it happens. It's funny because timkon is obviously great with their baby, but regardless their kid loves Bernard more. Not because he's fun and will do anything but because Bernard is just more fun to listen to? It doesn't make sense but Bernard conspiracy theory history makes him really good at keeping people's attention and it works great on the kid so they end up spending a bunch of time with Bernard. If Tim can't get them to sleep Bernard can. If Kon can't get them to do their homework Bernard can. It's just how it goes. And when the kid gets older? They are even closer cause Bernard is immature at heart and loves to do stupid stuff with their pre teen kid. Do they both get scolded by Tim later? Absolutely. But will they do it again? 100%. And when the kid goes through the "hating my parents" phase and tries to tell Bernard that he isn't their dad, Bernard just doesn't let it phase him. Instead he pulls out the adoption papers that the kid does sign because yes they want Bernard to be their dad!! But the kid fails to realize their "your not my dad" argument now doesn't work on Bernard because he is, Infact their father.

Like imagine the interaction as school pick ups with the Karen mom's that are like

: um thats not your kid

Bernard, picking up timkon kid from day care: excuse me?

: your not their parent you can't pick them up

Bernard: I have no idea what your talking about. I birthed them. There was no adoption process here. This is MY CHILD.

:...that's not possible sir-

Timkon kid: ya he BIRTHED ME MOTHER FUCK-

YES! YOU SEE THE VISION!! I need akutagawa just shyly sneaking flowers into some PM members hands. Wordlessly and blushing. Everyone finds it to be the cutest thing on earth.

Baby Aku and baby gin just cling to big bro chuuya who is very much giving "I've had the akutagawa siblings for a day and a half, but if anything happens to them I'm killing everyone in this room and then myself" vibes.

Atsushi not knowing what to do with this tiny version of akutagawa, but akutagawa being a blushy mess around Atsushi. And like chuuya asks why akutagawa is so shy around Atsushi and he whispers into chuuyas ears "the kitty Is very pretty" and Aku gets nervous around pretty things beucse he doesn't want to break them. Chuuyas heart clenches in a way he didn't know possible. It was by far the cutest thing. Gin is the same way with Higuchi

it's funny because Higuchi thought baby gin hated her and was sad in the corner until gin came up to her with a flower crown and asked her not to be sad because she's so pretty when she smiles and it makes gin happy to see her happy. Higuchi best hugs gin because that was so gosh darn sweet it makes everyone get cuteness aggression

I need a fic or smth where we get big brother chuuya and little akutagawa and gin. My own headcanon is that chuuya saw akutagawa and gin and IMMEDIATELY adopted them as his little siblings. He was the big brother that Aku wanted from dazai and he acknowledged it enough but never out right said anything about it.

Now aku and gin both get hit with some sort of ability that makes them kids again, only temporarily but ya and they don't have many memories of when they were grown up just like their feelings towards people if they were strong. Akutagawa after becoming a kid agains first reaction is to

1 protect gin

2 find chuuya.

Everyone expects him to go hunting for dazai but instead as soon as chuuya came in he grabbed gin and hid behind chuuyas leg holding him really tightly. Chuuya will never admit how much love and excitement he felt when that happened. Him being the volunteer to take care of the kids was completely unsaid beucse he just picked em up and walked away.

What would be even funnier is if dazai found out and expected akutagawa to immediately hug him when he show up but instead akutagawa hides in chuuyas shoulder because as much respect and admiration he has for dazai he is still scared of him. (Trauma amirite) And chuuya holds that over dazais head forever.

The akutagawa siblings are chuuyas younger siblings and that is a hill I would die on. Big bro chuuya for life 🫶🏼