Jason Todd Angst - Tumblr Posts

No!

Pairing: Jason x F!Reader

Summary: Jason has a nightmare about you having his death from the Joker and you comfort him

Jason’s body thrashes around in the body, the movements immediately waking you up. He keeps saying your name and ‘no’. "Jay." You lean on her elbow to be on your side. "No! Don't hurt her! (Y/N)? No!" Jason jolts up in bed, looking around to see he's in his room. He sees you sitting up next to him. "You've been having nightmares again." you says softly. Tears blur his vision, remembering what he dreamed about.

Well, he remembered what he had a nightmare about.

Your hand runs through his hair. You uses your other to wipe his fallen tears. You lean back with your head resting back on your pillow and motions for him to lay back down.

Jason rests his head on your chest with one of your hands at the back of his head and the other resting on his cheek. "Want me to tell me about?" you ask quietly. He nods, not saying anything until a couple seconds later.

Jason wakes up to his hands being tied above his head. He takes in his surrounds of a warehouse. His eyes stop to someone being tied to a chair in front of him. He notices that it's you. "No. (Y/N)." He tries to wake you up. You slowly open your eyes, slowly lifting your head to show a bruised eye, blood trailing on the left side of your face and a cut lip.

"Jay?" you move around to have the chains rattle around. You glance down to see your body strapped to the chair. You try to get out by moving around again. 

A maniac chuckle comes out of the shadows.

The couple move their eyes over to see where it's coming from to see Joker walking out. "Déjà vu, right, Red Hood?" Jason notices a crowbar in Joker's hand. "No! Don't hurt her!" Jason struggles against the rope.

Joker walks towards you and takes you out of the chair after taking the bindings off. He then throws you onto the ground. 

Kicks and punches land on your body. He watches you go onto your hands and knees, coughed blood coming out of your mouth. He swings the crowbar at your stomach, sides and back. You scream in pain. Tears fall down yours and Jason's faces.

Joker stops and walks off, leaving the bloodied crowbar on the ground next to a motionless you. Jason gets free from the rope so he runs towards you and falls onto his knees. He turns you onto her back to see a bruised and bloodied face of his girlfriend. "(Y/N)?" He whispers, looking at your blank, lifeless eyes. "(Y/N)?" He leans his head against your chest. His body shaking with sobs. "No!"

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU BABY with Jason Todd

even as the arkham knight , he would never let anything bad happened to you

arkham knight x f!batgirl!reader/jason todd x f!batgirl!reader

based off of the game “arkham knight” and the dlc “a matter of family” , angst , bruce is your father ( adopted or not ) , reader and jason are in love but are not together , jason pretty much kidpnapping the reader , reader’s race or looks aren’t specified , lovers reunited trope

“breaking news! commissioner gordon has been captured by the joker.”

bruce has called you to the batcave, informing you about the upcoming mission he is sending you on. “well why can’t you do it?” jason questions, following behind you. “because, jason, joker specifically said that if i attempted at saving the commissioner, he will die. i can’t risk it.”

jason groans. “it’s okay, jason. i’ll be back soon. with gordon alive.” you attempt at cheering him up. “but…i don’t like you going alone.” you smirk at him pouting. you began to promise him, “i know. after this, we’ll go on every mission together.”

while on your way to the abandoned amusement park, jason always chimed in, checking on you. “i’m at the park.” jason hums, “why are you being quiet all of a sudden?” he doesn’t answer.

you grew nervous, you have never been on a mission with back up. “fuck.” you whispered under you breath. there was a thug rounding next to you, inching close to you. “don’t worry, [ name ]. you got this.” he spoke in your com.

little did you know that jason was perched right on your location, watching you. “how can you be so sure?” he took this as a moment to help you. “well for one, robins are good luck.” he smirks at you.

it’s been three years since you stepped down from the title as batgirl. you couldn’t stand to fight crime without your best friend by your side.

bruce accepted your choice, even though he has told you to never step down from a fight. but he understood your reasoning. he missed jason too.

but you didn’t leave bruce all together. you still helped him. just behind a screen.

“[ name ]! lock the clock tower now!” bruce screams at you. “what are you talking about? no one knows i’m here.” you laugh off his urgency.

the elevator door sounds, catching you attention. before you could see the person, a smoke bomb explodes, covering the room. “go! go! go!”

you couldn’t see anything. you felt a hand grab your arm. you tried to fight them off, but they were too strong.

“let go of me!” your cries were muffled by a gloved hand. “shh, i’ve got you. nothing is going to hurt you. now that i’m here.”

you felt a needle poke you, inserting a liquid in your arm, making you drowsy.

you woke up in an unfamiliar room. the bed was soft. the room had a good temperature. it was like…your home. but it wasn’t.

“you’re awake. finally.” the booming voice makes you jump. “i didn’t mean to scare you. really, the plan wasn’t to scare you at all. but, you were acting terrible. and i couldn’t do anything else.”

he laughs humorlessly. “what-who are you?” your voice quivers. “you really don’t know, do you, [ name ]?” he clicks a button, his mask lifting, exposing his face.

“oh my god…” you felt your heart jump out of your chest. “i thought you were dead. joker sent the video and everything. bruce and i didn’t stop looking for you. how are you…”

“i know. it’s a lot to explain. but i’m back.” you run up to hug him. “don’t you ever leave me again, asshole.” he laugh, “not planning on it.”

BE THE FIRST WHOEVER DID (J.T.)

i have no synopsis for this so bc it’s so short😭-

fwb!relationship, one-sided love, unrequited love, NO PART 2 SO DON’T ASK, based on cinnamon girl by my girl lana 🎀, toxic!jason, minific, short fic, light smut in the beginning, terrible writing so we die like men 🫡, the reader’s skin tone, hair type, eye color or looks are not described so imagine whoever you please.

“FUCK—” JASON’S HIPS piston into yours, making the knot inside your stomach get tighter and tighter. “fuck, right there!” his grip on your thighs tighten. his moans grunts got you closer by the second.

you could barely make out any another words. your sentences were turned into babbles and incoherent moans.

finally, the knot bursts, your arousal leaking out of you, jason finishing soon after you. he pulls out, taking the condom off of him and throwing it away.

“you gotta go.” he states, his back turned to you. the sound of him pulling up his pants and putting on his belt snapped you back into reality.

huh?

tons of thoughts rush inside your head at once. did he find another fling? was it over? did he not feel the same?

“what?” you manage to stutter out. “you need to leave. how clearer can i get?” he grumbled. “what—what’s going on?” you reach a hand out, touching his back, making him recoil. “get out!”

his voice makes you jump, “just get out! i don’t want to see you anymore for christ sake.” you squint your eyes, “so you bust a quick nut and all of a sudden we’re done? really jason?” you jump out of his bed, quickly throwing on your clothes.

he had turn to you to say something but you had cut him off — the last thing you needed right now was to hear him say anything.

four weeks.

it’s been four weeks since you and jason had last spoken together since the…thing.

you would be considered a liar if you said you didn’t miss him. his warmth. his presence. his coc—

no! you couldn’t go back. you needed to let him know that you didn’t need him. most importantly, you needed to let yourself know that you didn’t need him.

so, no matter how many messages and calls you received from him, you had to fight the urge to give into him. but it hurt knowing that he could’ve found someone else to take your place.

that he never loved you.

Had to when I saw the quote lol

I love Jason sm 😂

Og post @batfam-imagines

no grave can hold my body down – 2/2

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: It took time to get Jason Todd away from the darkness. Sometimes it felt like he was always standing at a tipping point, at risk of completely losing himself. But not when he was with her. She made him better and she would continue to make him better.

Word Count: 9,000

A/N: I know there are a lot of contradicting opinions on Jason Todd’s height. But for my own wish fulfillment, he is 6′3/6′4ish in this fic. 

Part 1

Y/N had fallen asleep after getting home from work. She had a long day and was so exhausted that she passed out as soon as she sat down on the couch. Jason had to take off her heels and drape a blanket over her.

Now he was dressed in his armored undershirt, cargo pants, leather jacket, and tactical boots. His red helmet was tucked under his arm, but he was already wearing a domino mask. If Bruce had taught him anything, it was to be prepared to a point of paranoia.

He crouched down to his knees.

Ever so gently, he brushed Y/N’s cheek.

“Y/N,” he whispered.

She stirred and winced a bit when she opened her eyes, the glare of the quiet television was suddenly harsh.

“What’s going on?” She asked, still half asleep.

Keep reading

no grave can hold my body down – ½

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: It took time to get Jason Todd away from the darkness. Sometimes it felt like he was always standing at a tipping point, at risk of completely losing himself. But not when he was with her. She made him better and she would continue to make him better. 

Word Count: 5,500 

A/N: I am very new to this fandom and extremely nervous to write something for it. To clarify, I have not read any of the comics. But I’ve watched a lot of the TV and movie adaptations, and have done a lot of research. Jason is much older in this – like 30? – and therefore the rest of the BatFam is older, as well. But this takes place after Jason Todd is resurrected, but is still on rocky territory with his family. 

Jason dropped down to the fire escape of his apartment with a quietness that seemed impossible for how large he was. 

On the other side of the small fire escape, Y/N sat with a blanket over her lap, a book in her hand, and a mug of coffee balanced perfectly on the metal grates. 

“Thought I told you not to wait up for me,” Jason greeted, knowing she noticed his arrival, but just kept reading her book. His book, to be precise. 

It was almost 4AM and Jason had called it a night after taking out an entire drug cartel. It had been a lot of waiting, until it finally led up to 20 minutes of utter chaos. He left them on a silver platter for the police to arrest them and actually clean up the mess.

Keep reading

4+1 things will always have my heart

So easy: Jason Todd x fem!reader

Summary: 4 times Jason felt the love for y/n and one time he actuallly expressed it.

Warning: kissing, a bit of angsts, swearing

„Y/N….” he groaned in pain stumbling into her apartment.

“Ok, all right, I got it, come here and try not to move”

She knew the drill. He came home, bruised and scared and she was immediately reaching for the first aid kit playing the nurse. At least for as long as it was within her reach, after all she was homebred in this area, not an expert. When something went terribly wrong she never hesitated to call upon the bats to check on him. However, such situations were rare. After all, Jason Todd was the Red Hood.  The fright of the entire Crime Alley. Powerful, fierce, strong and well trained. It took a lot to leave more than a bruise or a little cut. He was simply better.

“How bad is it this time?” she asked making him sit up on her bed, frowning as she removed his helmet and his domino mask meeting his eyes.

“Not at all, just some usual…. Auch! That hurt!” he hissed when Y/N pressed a gauze to his ribs.

“Of course it did. Apparently we have different definition of not bad at all. “

“But….”

“No, not buts, Jace. Just stay quiet.  You know I can only do so much of patching you up.”

“I know and…. Auch!”

“Oh, don’t be a baby. If you can take beating from criminals you can sustain some alcohol on your wounds. Don’t whine.”

“I’m not whining” he flinched a bit “but it’s different. I’m not afraid to be vulnerable with you….” he tried to grab her hands but she wriggled out of his reach, now putting dressing over his chest and arms. Those strong arms that always made her feel so safe whenever he was around

“Mhm. Should I be proud about it?”

“You should” he smirked and his eyes flashed a bit

“Well then, thank you for this distinction, Red Hood” she rolled her eyes “can I remise this honor to the benefit of not having to see you bruised and beaten up? Cause that would be something worth my mental health.”

“Sweetheart……” when she finished her job he finally got a chance to grab her hips and pull her closer towards him, opening his legs a bit so she could stand between them.

“Don’t you dare playing dirty on me.” She warned as his hand traveled up from her hip to waist and he slowly stood up, his eyes never leaving her.

“I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about” he leaned in so that his lips brushed over hers, his breath hot on her skin. Much to her annoyance, her body betrayed her and shook at this gesture.

“No idea, huh? Well then good for you, Red, you need rest after all. So you can stay here, in the bed”  it took all her strength to remove his warm hands from her body, missing the contact instantly “and I will take the couch.”

“You can…..”

“No. No I can’t stay. You need to relax. And by relax I mean rest, Jason. Nothing more. No activity.”

“Can I at least get a kiss to make it better?” he pouted

“I thought it wasn’t bad at all” she laughed but gave in to his pleading “Just that” she bend over him and lovingly kissed the top of his head, ruffling his hair a bit.

“It’s not enough…” he whined

“One more than you needy boy” she smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth, her lips lingering there for a bit longer then needed. “rest” the girl softly caressed his cheek and he obediently closed his eyes.  

“Thank you” he whispered.

“Mhm, that’s a good word, you’re a menace, Jace.”

“But I’m your menace.” he smiled at her and there was nothing but love and admiration in his eyes.

****

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like?” she groaned kicking and throwing punches at the dummy in the corner “I’m training”

“Why?” he leaned on the doorframe, watching her every move and fighting the urge to correct her posture before she got hurt because of the bad technique

“Why?” she stopped her actions and eyed him carefully “what do you mean why?”

“I mean exactly this. Why?”

“Um, I don’t know” she mocked “maybe because I want to be able to fight? Because I want to know how to protect myself? Because I….”

“What?”

“Because I want to go on patrol with you. One day.”

“No.” his jaw clenched and tone turned harsh at the simple thought of her joining him.

“I wasn’t really asking for permission. “

“Good. Cause you will never get it.”

“Well I couldn’t care less. I can always just follow you around. Or become a vigilante on my own. There are enough trouble makers in Gotham to find one for myself.”

“Don’t you dare.” He hissed taking a few steps towards her, stopping inches apart.

“Is it because I’m a girl?”

“Y/n….” he groaned, but she did not let him say another word

“You let Artemis join you.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it letting her.

“aha! Got you! She never asked for your opinion, did she?”

“It’s different.”

“Why? Because she’s an Amazon? Or because she’s  powerful, beautiful and takes no shit from anyone? Especially from men. Or is it because you two have an affair and you don’t want me to find out about…..

This time he did not let her finish, cutting her off with a kiss. Strong, passionate and heated due to all the emotions inside him, but soon slowing down and turning it into long, soft expression of his love for this unruly girl. With gentle touches and with every move of his lips brushing against hers he was trying to convey everything the words could not.

“This is unfair” she whined when his mouth moved to her neck “Jace….”

“Mhm….” He muttered with zero intention to stop.

“Oh, come on…… you can’t just….fuck…..” she hissed when he bit on her soft spot

“I can’t what?” he smirked knowing and seeing well enough how her body reacted on him.

Oh, that was enough. In any other circumstance she would probably give in to him, after all she always wanted him, but this? He was trying to play her like a toy and make her change her mind.

“Just let go off me Jason.” she wriggled impatiently trying to get free

“Is that what you want?” his hands sneaked under her shirt and if she didn’t stop it now, she would never do it.

“Yes. Yes, fuck Jason, just get back!” she finally yelled taking him by surprise and making him back off.

“Y/N….”

“You did this every fucking time! You treat me like a play toy whenever I’m trying to move out of my comfort zone!”

“Baby….”

“Cut it! Don’t you dare trying to sweet talk me! I know I’m not good enough to join you on patrol! I fucking now that! But how the hell am I supposed to get better if you don’t give me any tips!”

“Can’t you see I’m just trying to keep you safe!?” oh, the anger issues were now in the house

“Oh, here we go again!’ she threw her hands up in frustration “you know what, I won’t fight you. I know it’s what you want. So I’m going out!”

“Where?!”

“I don’t know! And frankly, I don’t care. I might as well ask Dick to train me if you don’t want!”

“You won’t do such thing!” he grabbed her wrist with more pain than intended and she winced in the pain “Shit. Fuck. Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…..”

“I know. I know, Jace.” She said, her eyes full of sadness and pain. “You know, sometimes I wish there were more Jason Todd in this relationship and less Red Hood. But I know. And I think we both need to cool down and …. talk later?”

“All right.”

She just nodded and without another word left the apartment not really sure where to go. But despite everything Jason knew how to take care of her when he picked the phone and dialed the number

“Dickhead? You need to do something for me …….”

***

He was tired.

No. He was exhausted.

It was 3 am and he was just wrapping his patrol up and getting back home. To her. To the only person in the world who saw the good in him even if most of the times he himself could not and lapsed into self-hatred. The only person who could both mock him and soothe him at the same time. The only person who was both harsh and rough, always ready to smack his head for doing something batshit crazy and caring, loving and delicate.

He loved her like crazy.

She was the reason every night he was struggling in the fight to get back to her.

Even if sometimes it felt easier to just give up on everything.

He was not like Dick. The hero. The handsome one. The little ray of sunshine one. He was violent, had a lot of unresolved trauma from the past and tended to push her away to protect her. Fuck, he was getting on her nerved on purpose so she would just leave him for good, but he could never discourage her.

She always stayed.

And the simple thought of getting back to her, taking her into his arms and just holding her for whatever rest of the night was left, safe and soft and warm and peaceful was doing something to him.

In the most quiet way it was possible to not wake her up he climbed up to the flat. And yes, of course he could have just used the door which at this hour would probably catch less attention but old habits die hard. Even for someone who died quite literally. As he removed his shoes, holsters and helmet his eyes were already peeking through the slightly opened bedroom door.

Fuck, she was so beautiful.

Sleeping so peacefully, her breath even and it was quite a change from all the sleepless night he caused her for the last two weeks. She refused to lay down until he was back safe. Which obviously soon started taking toll on her health and he forced her to promise she would not stay up this late. After a lot of convincing she had to give up. It was good to know she actually did keep her word.

Jason sighed deeply and the sound made the girl squirm but she did not wake.

As fast as he could he removed his clothes and sneaked under the blanket next to her, immediately feeling calmness and peace stemming from her presence. Just looking at her and feeling like a freaking creep. He wanted her closer to him, impossibly closer, but at the same time it was never his intention to wake her so he decided to just stick to keeping the distance. She was a light sleeper after all. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, his hands aching to touch her.

“Jace….” She whispered shifting her positon and moving closer herself.

“Did I wake you?” he whispered back

“You did not.”

“I’m sorry baby…..”

“Are you even listening to me?” she huffed “you did not wake me. And even if you did I wouldn’t be mad about it. I’m mad about something else though.”

“What is it, baby?”

“Could you please tell me what the hell do you think you are doing?” her gaze fixed on his fists

“I…. I wanted to hold you, but was afraid you would wake…” he confessed not able to look her in the eyes

“Idiot” she muttered, grabbing his hands. “Do you know you are an idiot?” wrapping them around her and moving even closer to hide her face in his chest. “I need to know you are back safe the second you get here. And believe it or not I can feel you next to me even in my sleep. And I need that. Do you understand me?”

“I do, baby, I do.” He kissed the top of head

“Good. I need you next to me. I need you in my arms. So don’t you ever, ever distance yourself from me.”

Fuck. He loved her so much. He loved how she felt safe with him, how she was falling asleep on him, he loved how she made him feel.  Her soft hands around his torso, her head on his chest, her slowing breath tickling the skin. His heart was just swelling thanks to this girl. He was the luckiest mutherfucker in the whole Gotham.

***

“Jason!” her echoed from another room and it only took him a second to bust there reading to fight whatever enemy of Red hood might be attacking. Luckily, there was only his girlfriend sitting in front of the computer, grinning in a smile to wide even Joker would be jealous.

“Is everything all right, babe?”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it. This is not happening!”

“Honey, you are not making any sense now.”

“That’s because I’m feeling a lot of contradictory things right now” she turned to look at him, her eyes glistening, her face lighted up and happy in a way he never saw her before. That was new experience and if he could he would just stay in this moment forever. However, it was not given when she jumped from the chair and pulled him toward the PC. “come on, look at this” she pointed at an e-mail on the screen. Please, tell me you see it too. Tell me I did not imagine this. Please, tell me it’s real…..” she crossed her fingers and closed her eyes as he started reading out loud.

Dear Miss Y/L/N,

It is our greatest pleasure to inform you, we have reviewed the draft of the story you send to us.

“You send them your book?” he asked tearing the gaze away from the computer to care

“I did, I did…. Now just keep reading.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I did not want to test my luck. Now, just go on…..”

Regardless of the fact that there are some typos and a lot of punctuation mistakes….

Yeah, right, she was never good with that

 We would like to publish your book. Please, fill in the attached form and get back in touch with us as soon as possible. We would like to discuss the matters of printing numbers and your salary.

With best regards….

“J.A. Black!” she screamed the name of the sender “J.A.Black, Jace! Black Publishing is going to publish my book!!” she lunged at him and he was more than happy to embrace her.

“I’m so proud of you, baby” he kissed her temple repeatedly “you worked so hard for this, you definitely deserve it.”

“You think?” she pulled away from him, her voice now serious, her eyes scanning his face “you really think so? After all they mentioned my bad punctuation and typos. Maybe I;m not good enough for Black? What if this is a joke to humiliate me?”

“Y/N.” Jason grabbed her shoulders gently “baby, please, look at me” she listened meeting his orbs and shutting up “calm down. Stop spinning, all right? It’s not a joke. It’s not a mistake. You are talented and hard-working and really, really good with words. I would know, I’ve read enough in my life.”

“Can’t really argue with that” her beautiful smile showing again

“You know I’m your number one fan, right? And believe me, everyone who would get hands on your work will love it too.”

“You know what? I don’t even care anymore. It’s enough to satisfy my number one fan.”

“Really?” he crossed his arms over chest and smirked “I’m gonna wait until it comes out in a couple weeks. I wonder if you would clam the same then.”

A month later, the book saw the light of the day and Y/N had to do some PR actions like meeting with the readers and hundreds of fans, because Jason was right in that part. She became popular pretty fast and soon people started asking about part 2 of the story. And now she was scared. She was never good with people and public speaking and that was exactly why she choose to hide behind the screen and just write. It would be helpful if Jace could come with her at least to one of this meeting but because of his red-hooding it was impossible and since she knew that she would never ask him to. So she dealt with it.

There were only one meeting left and after that she was hoping to get back into her kind-of peaceful life. Just her, the Gotham vigilante and a bunch of criminals ready to attack, kidnap or kill her. And it might be about to turn even worse now that she was popular, but both her and Jason were pushing the thought away, deciding to just celebrate the moment for as long as they could.

Y/n was in the middle of the conversation when Jason imperceptibly sneaked into the audience, shielding himself from her view and just observing how she was doing.

She was glowing.

To say the least.

All of her excitement, all of her beauty showing off. And she was wearing almost no makeup. The way she was talking about the literature, the book, her ideas and inspirations. The shy girl he knew was completely gone, instead he was looking at confident and astonishing young woman sharing her passion. Her cheeks were lightly flushed, her lips parted, her eyes sparkling. It was like he fell in love with her all over again and there was nothing more he wanted than to steal her away from the guy reporter, get her back to the apartment and just have her all to herself. Nothing explicit, just having her. And he just couldn’t wait.

“It seems like we have another question coming from the audience” the reported said and motioned for someone on the side of the room to pass the microphone to the person who was willing to ask.

Y/N’s eyes searched through the crowd, as she squinted, her eyes adjusting to the darkness in the auditorium being contrast to the ablazed main floor. When her gaze rest on a familiar face she could not stop the smile on her face. He came.

“I got a question for Y/N. How about we ditch this theatrics and get back home? I got some better ideas how to use the time….”

Jason fucking Todd was a pain in the eyes when he wanted to. But he also knew she would forgive him for that. After all, he only got eyes for her.

***

“Y/N? Baby, what happened?”

“Nothing. Please, go away.”

She was laying on the bed, back to the door so he could not see her face. However, judging by her muffled voice and a bit panting breath he could tell she was probably crying.

“Come on, sweetie. Don’t do this. Don’t push me away.”

“I don’t really want you to see me this way.” She muttered turning to the other side when he circled the bed to face her.

“Oh, come on” he grabbed her hip and with zero effort made her  face him “you know you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. Besides, you don’t really like when I get like this….”

“What?” he was dumbfounded “I don’t like when….. God, y/n” he run his fingers through his hair “did I ever give you an impression like I don’t care how you feel? Tell me” he lifted her chin lightly and their eyes met “did I?”

“No.”

“Well that’s a relief” he smiled “now, scoop and tell me what’s the problem. I bet either Jason or Red can solve this. Do I need to hurt someone or do you just need a hug?”

“I…. I don’t really know…” she covered her hands with the sleeves of her sweater, her hair a mess and it all made her look so small, fragile and innocent. Once again, Jason felt his heart swelling. If someone, anyone, caused his baby any pain, he was not only going to hurt them, but eliminate them. “I don’t even know how to start. I feel so pathetic. You are ….you know” the rule to not mention Jason’s alter ego name in the house was forever actual “you’ve been through so much worse shit than me, it feels like I have no right to complain.”

“You’re right. I;ve been through hell lot of shit. But from what I know, you’ve been through it with me. Always there even at my lowest. So don’t feel like your feelings are not important. Let me be there for you in the way you were for me.”

“It’s hard to say how I feel.”

“Don’t think about it. Just say it” he held her hands, his thumbs circling soothing patterns on her palms.

“I think I’m broken. I feel like I push you too much and I’m a challenge to you. I feel like…. It’s hard to be with me.”

He just stared at her, eyes wide open. Was what she was saying real? Did she even hear the words coming out of her mouth? Maybe he was hearing something else? Was he high or drunk or was it a dream, or rather nightmare? Was his baby, his love, his sunshine, his only source of happiness and the most adorable person on the planet, shit, in the entire universe confessing to feeling like a liability?

“Jace?” she sobbed. Oh, apparently while he was spacing out, she was still talking and now was awaiting his reaction

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand a single word coming out of your mouth.”

“I said…..”

“No, no, I heard you, I just don’t understand it. You feel like you weight me down? Y/N……” his voice broke

“Am I not? Come on. You are…. You know. You have a lot going on. And as if that wasn’t enough you worry about me, about my safety, my health. I’m a threat to your well-being, Jace. What if you get distracted on the field because of me? What if you get hurt because I’m pathetic piece of shit and anyone can hurt me and you would want to take revenge? And we both know you would. I’m a burden. Besides, I can be cold, I am stubborn, workaholic, tend to withdraw and manipulate people and have to do things my own way. My sense of humor is wicked, I act like a child sometimes and I can be a bit messy. How does that not push you away?”

“Babe…. I can’t believe it. We’ve been together for….” He hesitated looking at the calendar on the wall and then at the watch “5 years, 2 months, 23 days and 3 hours…..”

“You remember it so precisely?” she frowned

“How can I not?q but after all this time you still have doubts about yourself? If anything, I am a burden in this relationship, not you. Y/N, babe, I love you.”

“I love you too, but….”

 “And all the things you mentioned?” he shook his head in disapproval and wrapped his arms around her pulling her towards his chest “You’re missing the most important thing about yourself.”

“That I’m hateable?”

“That you are just so easy to love……” he kissed the top of her head, holding her tighter.

And for the first time in a while he knew, that at this exact moment she was the one who was melting in the love he had for her not the other way round. That it was finally him who gave her the affection and attention she so desperately needed.

@pinksirensong

@somest1

Children's Books and Leather Jackets (Part II)

Jason Todd x reader one-shot

Summary: You couldn't love your job more. Or at least, that's what you thought, until Jason Todd started coming into the bookshop every week without fail, like clockwork. And then you form a connection that tilts your whole world on its axis.

Word Count: 15.5K (total of 29.2K)

Category: More fluff for you all (yes, more jsjs), (plus slight angst related to mutual pining, idiots in love, friends to lovers and typical Gotham villain stuff)

Warnings: Jason stealing your heart (and you stealing his)

Author’s note: Well, here you go babes, the second (and final) part to what once was just a one-shot but that became so long that I had to split it up (despite how much it broke my heart to do so). Hope you enjoy it!

<Part I

After that night at the dinner (that you didn’t ever want to end, though of course, sadly, it had to), everything stayed more or less the same. Jason kept coming into the bookshop several times a week, buying books and checking out some others.

Except that now, while you scanned the children’s books, as you knew what they were for now, you asked how the kids were doing.

Except that now, a lot of times when he came in the afternoons, Jason stayed in the bookshop with you until you closed, keeping you company.

Except that now, sometimes Jason brought food with him and had lunch with you.

Except that now, you texted each other practically everyday, carrying on conversations from the bookshop and talking about everything.

Except that now, your heart, instead of giving little jumps, it run whole laps every time you saw him.

And right now, you’re buzzing with nerves.

Because you don’t know where the line stands anymore, having become blurrier and blurrier with each smile, every longing look and every soft touch on his arm or the small of your back when you pass each other a lot closer than what is necessary.

And now you’re bouncing behind the counter, wondering if what you are about to do today is too much.

When that white streak that you love so much makes its way through the door, you can hardly wait to show him what you’ve found. Jason, like always, greets you with a smile and goes directly to the counter, not bothering with excuses anymore.

“There you are!” You exclaim, barely containing your excitement.

“Hi to you too.” He chuckles at your warm welcome as he finishes approaching the counter.

“I found it.” You say with a grin. Surprise makes its way across Jason’s features, immediately knowing what you were talking about.

“You did?” He asks in disbelief. You nod proudly and from under the counter, you slip out the third and last installment of a book series about the adventures of Daisy the giraffe. In the store you only had the first and the second one and the kids loved them. They had read both several times but were unable to see how the story ended since the books were quite old and very hard to find.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it.” Jason continues as he takes the book from your hands that are extending it to him. “You’re amazing, Y/N.” He looks back up at you with shining eyes. “How did you do it?” You shrug your shoulders.

“I just tracked it down.” You answer. The truth was that it had taken a lot of time and effort to find it but the kids’ joy and how happy you felt right now made it all worth it.

“You did a lot more than that, believe me. The kids are going to love it.” Jason says, glancing back at the book and then at you once again, his eyes full of admiration. “Thank you.” He adds almost breathlessly.

You nod in acknowledgement with a bright smile.

Jason had faced a lot of impossible situations during his life. Hardships that proved difficult to endure. From his days in the streets, to his Robin training and to his patrols as Red Hood.

But right now Jason feared that he may have found his greatest enemy. A problem hard to solve. A feat that will not be easy to achieve.

These damn braids.

Jason’s eyebrows are furrowed and he clenches his jaw in concentration. Despite having asked for help and Cass and Steph having taught him, he still was having trouble french braiding Lily’s hair.

He was in the area and decided to check on the kids, even though they didn't have a reading scheduled. After greeting the few that were there, Lily grabbed his hand and monopolized him.

She had asked him a few times to do her hair and he had tried but without much knowledge it had proved to be a disaster. At least now, even though it still felt a bit like an uphill climb, it seemed that his new skills were getting him somewhere.

They were sitting on some crates on the floor, Lily in front of him playing with her teddy and telling him his latest adventures as Batbear, making him chuckle at her great imagination.

He was working on the second braid when suddenly Lily fell into silence, deep in thought. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she finally spoke up.

“Do you like Y/N?” Lily asked, with the blunt curiosity characteristic of children her age.

Jason’s hands freeze on her blonde hair.

“Why do you ask?” Jason asks back nervously, afraid to give a clear response, as if after hearing it, Lily would run over to wherever you were to tell you. But she just shrugs her shoulders, lifting Batbear in her arms and examining his button-like eyes.

“She’s nice and funny.”

“Yeah, she is.” He coincides while slowly continuing to work on the braid.

“I like her. The other day she brought us all cookies from a bakery. They were delicious.” Lily continues, her voice acquiring a dreamy tone at the delightful memory.

Jason’s hands freeze once again. He had no idea you had done that. You hadn’t mentioned it to him. You had gone out of your way to buy treats for the kids and come here on your own on a non reading day.

Jason stands still on his seat, his gaze lost and thoughts clouded with you. He didn’t think that he could admire you more than what he already did, yet here he was, even more entranced by your kind nature.

“So you like her then?” Lily insists. She says it more in an innocent way rather than in the romantic sense, like when you meet a friend of a friend and they asked you if you liked hanging out with them. Just as Lily finishes her question, he ties up her braid and Lily turns her head, feeling him finish his work.

She catches sight of her reflection on a dirty window and lets out a delightful squeal that makes Jason jump in surprise. In an instant, the little girl is on her feet and admiring her hair from side to side, Batbear still in her grip.

Jason grimaces when he sees how the top of one of the braids is already starting to loosen and worries about what Lily will say. He still clearly needs more practice. But then-

“I love it!” Lily screams and Jason grins at her happiness. Ha, success. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She says in quick succession in a way in which the words jumble together and turns to give him a bone crushing hug, surprising for how little she is, and a sounding kiss on his cheek.

Then Lily sets off running, probably to show her friends her new hair, laughing all the way, completely forgetting about her earlier question. Jason can’t help but laugh under his breath too. He loves those kids.

He stands up and shakes his hands over his jeans to get rid of any possible dirt from the crate.

“Yeah, I like her very much.” Jason whispers, answering Lily’s question. His thoughts, as they usually tended to do, drifting back to you.

“Oh my god, what happened to you?” You ask him another day when he enters the bookshop with a black eye. He opens his mouth to answer but you interrupt him. “Let me guess, boxing again?” You say with eyebrows raised in a playful manner so that he doesn’t need to worry about a fake excuse. But he chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not this time, no.”

“No? Impossible.”

“Okay so, turns out that Damian, for whatever reason that I still cannot comprehend, threw his phone at Tim. But Tim ducked and guess who was passing behind him in that exact moment just peacefully enjoying his bowl of cereal?”

“No way.” You say breathlessly, a smile already pulling at your lips and a laugh making its way up your throat.

He nods and sees you put a hand over your mouth, trying to conceal your laughter. The sight makes him smile, despite the fact that the movement pulls at the swelling of his cheek under his eye, making him wince slightly at the pain.

“Sorry.” You say, failing miserably in containing your laughter.

“It’s okay, go ahead. It is funny.”

You then finally burst out laughing and Jason feels his heart swell, the sound having become his favorite in the whole world, like listening to his favorite song. And he can’t help but join in your laughter too.

“Though I did drop my precious bowl of cereal.” He adds with an exaggerated pout and you laugh even more, making him feel a radiating warmth that not even the sun could equal to.

“Oh, poor Jason.” You say.

As your laughters finally slowly die down, you round the counter and lift your hands to hold the sides of his face, turning him to see the eye better in the light.

“Are you okay though?” You ask in a low voice, serious now, almost like a whisper.

And with your hands holding him, Jason thinks that he will always be okay, no matter if he's drowning or bleeding to death.

“Yeah.” He whispers back.

Were you this close just a second before? He can clearly see how the lights of the bookshop reflect in your eyes now.

“Did you put something over it?” He nods. You tilt your head, not sure to believe him with how he hadn’t really treated the wounds on his knuckles that one time.

“Some ice.” You manage to coax out of him and you shake your head and click your tongue in slight disappointment. 

“Not enough.” You say, and just like that one time, with the bookshop empty except for you two, you guide him into the break room by his hand, sit him down and bring the first aid kit. You take an ointment from it and stand in front of him. You look down at him, asking for permission with your eyes and he gives an almost imperceptible nod.

One of your hands takes hold of his face to tilt him to the light and the tips of your fingers on the other start applying the ointment softly to help with the swelling.

Jason’s hands twitch to place themselves on your hips to bring you even closer but he grabs his own knees instead. He doesn’t have the right to do something like that. It’s not like he’s your boyfriend.

No matter how much he might want to.

So he contents himself with looking into your eyes that are concentrated on his wound.

He can feel the warmth of your body seeping into his with how close you are and he can’t help but close his eyes to savor it even further. 

He has never felt safer.

The silence of the intimate moment is deafening in the best of ways. He would gladly stay like this forever.

But then, just like a crack of thunder, cold surrounds him once again as you whisper that you’re done and retract your hands from him. You wash your hands in the faucet of the kitchen part of the break room and Jason follows your every movement hypnotized.

“Better?” You say as you return and sit in front of him.

With you? Always.

“Yeah.” He breathes out and he isn’t lying. He can already feel the swelling going down. “Thank you.” 

“It’s nothing.” You say, shaking your head and shrugging your shoulders.

It’s like you don’t see how much you do for him, and not just for tending his wounds. Just everything in general. Your laugh. Your long conversations. And it kills him. It kills him that you may not know just how much he cares about you.

And it kills him even more that he doesn’t have the courage to tell you.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” You say and quickly get up to grab a heavy looking bag from the corner before coming back. “I went to my parents’ last weekend and I got these books that I thought the kids might like.” You start as you take the contents of the bag out and put them on the table for him to see.

He notices how you worry your lip and how your shoulders tense and he wonders why you’re suddenly like that. He then looks towards the several books displayed on the table in front of you two.

“Most of them are bedtime stories. My mom used to read them to me.” You start and then your small posture and uncertain tone clicks. You’re shy about this. Almost ashamed that he might think that this is something ridiculous.

As if he could think anything negative about you.

“They’re not much but I loved them when I was little.” You continue and as you tell him more about them, he can see with how much fondness you remember them and how excited you are to talk about them. The insecurity seems to leave your whole body as you get lost in your explanation of the books. 

Two of them are quite thick and you tell him that they have several different stories, from a prince and a princess that could only meet at sunrise or sunset since one of them could only be in the light of the moon and the other in the light of the sun. And that if they were exposed to the other light, due to a spell, they would die; to a story about a mother reading to his son.

Another couple of them follow the adventures of a mole at his house and at the beach and the books include a small mole cut-out that you move across the pages to make him follow the story. Another one is about a boy and his dog that go on a great adventure thanks to a magical blue balloon.

As he listens intently, he marvels at you. You really were the most thoughtful, kind and beautiful person that he had ever met and he couldn’t get enough of it.

He has to resist the urge to close the space between you and kiss you right there and then. But he decides against it. He liked how everything was going with you and he didn’t want to ruin it by suddenly rushing and risking everything.

Aside from the fact that you still didn’t know about a part of his life that he’s sure would make you push him away and send you running. Even though every time that he thinks about it, he’s considering telling you more and more, wanting to be completely sincere and honest with you, knowing how much you valued that.

“Sorry, that was a lot. This probably was a bad idea.” You say after you finish explaining all the books. You’re about to start picking them up to put them back in the bag when you feel his hand enclosing over one of your own, softly stopping you.

Your breath catches in your throat.

“No. These are great, Y/N. I love them and I’m sure that the kids will too. Thank you for sharing them.” He says looking into your eyes. You were sharing with him and the kids a very personal part of you that you held very close to your heart. And he wanted you to know how much he appreciated it.

He also gives your hand a small squeeze to show you how much he means his words and to encourage you. After a moment, you smile and nod.

“Tell me more.” He says.

At his genuine petition, you can’t do anything but carry on, your radiant smile matching his. “Okay.”

It had been a long time since you had played any of these types of games. But you really do not remember being so bad at it.

After the reading that day, the kids had suggested (or rather insisted) on playing hide and seek.

So here you were, running around the playground trying to find a good place to hide all while questioning your life choices.

Had you really been this bad at hide and seek as a kid? Then again, it is quite easier when you’re much smaller and you can fit almost anywhere. Try doing that as an adult.

You turn a corner of the nearby buildings, entering into a small passage between the back of it and a wall separating the playground zone from the rest of the block. You know that Lily has had to have finished counting already. You don’t have much time left.

In the passage there are some piled up crates leaning against the wall. You consider hiding behind them though you know that it’s not the best hiding place. However, you’re already here and you can’t risk going back into the open space of the playground if you don’t want to get caught.

Just as you start moving towards them a voice whispers your name.

You turn and find that the building has a small space that cuts into it with a back door. Due to the afternoon light, the space is covered in shadows and leaning against the wall you find Jason, hiding. 

You can’t believe that you missed him with his impressive build.

But the place seems to work as a great hiding place, almost in plain sight yet easy to miss. So, when Jason extends a hand inviting you into it, you don’t think twice before taking it.

Next thing you know, your back rests in one of the walls carved into the building that lead to the door and Jason is positioned in front of you in a way that, even if Lily were to pass by and notice you, she would only see him. At least at first.

Jason leans his head out of the space for a second to check if anyone is coming and then he comes back in front of you.

And then your breathing hitches in your throat when you realize just how close you are, even though there is plenty of space in the small opening of the building for you two to stand next to each other without problem. Yet both of you remain in your current position, not daring (nor wanting) to move a muscle.

Suddenly all your nerves are alive and buzzing, your senses heightened and all you can see, hear and feel, is him.

You're hyper aware of everywhere that he’s touching you.

His left hand on your waist.

His right arm at your side, brushing up against yours, shielding you from view.

Your chests almost touching each other.

Your hands on his shoulders, even though you have no idea how they ended up there. The urge to bring him even closer to you, practically irresistible.

You look up to find that his green gaze is already on you. Up this close you notice that there is a slight shade of aquamarine blue in them.

You feel lightheaded and dizzy but in the best of ways. It’s like you’re drunk, even though you have never actually drunk enough to feel like this.

You realize then that you’re drunk on him. You want to drown in him.

Then the scent of his cologne reaches you and you know that you’re intoxicated with this man in front of you.

And the best part is that he seems just as intoxicated with you.

You don’t know how you two get even closer but then his nose is brushing up against yours, your breaths mixing together.

He’s leaning a bit over you so maybe you should feel a bit crowded but you don’t.

You feel safe.

The safest that you have ever been. And the thing is that it doesn't even surprise you. Everything feels easy and safe and warm with him.

Like nothing could ever happen to you with him by your side.

And you’re absolutely addicted to the feeling.

Jason is breathless, as if he has just run a marathon. His breathing as heavy as yours.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest with how fast it’s going, thrill and anticipation pumping through your veins instead of blood.

Your gaze drops and you suck in a breath when he wets his lips.

Your own tongue darts out to mimic his movement on your own, when you realize that they’re already wet and that he was the one mirroring your previous action.

Your eyes go back up to his and notice that his pupils are dilated. You can’t help but think that yours look probably the same.

It seems like he’s asking a question with that mesmerizing gaze of his and your throat feels dry, as if you haven’t been able to drink water in days and the only person that can alleviate it is Jason Todd.

His gaze flits to your lips once again and returns to your eyes just as fast and they seem to be pleading you.

You can feel yourself nodding almost imperceptibly.

You’re not sure you have wanted anything more in your life. Your stomach flips.

You close your eyes, feeling the ghost of his lips on yours.

And then-

“Got you!” Lily’s voice rings out, like shattering glass, breaking the spell and bursting the perfect bubble that you two were in, before your lips are able to make any real contact.

And just like that, you deflate like an old balloon forgotten by a kid in a fair.

You have never been more frustrated in your entire life.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to regain your senses, letting your pounding heart beat out the drug that the proximity to Jason Todd is, in order to come back to reality.

When you finally open your eyes, Jason looks just as frustrated and disappointed as you.

Your faces part, putting distance once again between them though your hands remain on his shoulders and his remain on your waist. Part of yourselves still refusing to let go of what had been about to happen, both of your breathings still heavy and deep.

“Come on, it’s your turn now!” Lily exclaims impatiently. She’s too excited about being able to hide now to really notice what was going on between you two.

“We-” Jason stops at how hoarse his voice is and clears his throat. “We’ll be right there.” He finally continues, though his gaze is still fixed on you.

“Great!” Lily chirps and she leaves the way she came, Batbear like always, tight in her grip.

You watch her go and when you look back up at Jason both of you have shy and embarrassed smiles. Sad for the moment that has left and unsure of how to proceed now.

You both suppose that keeping things how they are is the best course of action so very slowly and very reluctantly your hands leave each other. Not sure what to do with them now, since they still feel like magnets being pulled towards each other, Jason runs his hands through his hair and you fix your already perfectly placed clothes.

But as you two make your way towards the center of the playground, you both are hopeful that the moment will come again.

The road might have a few bumps on the way but it still goes on.

Jason didn’t know how it had gotten so late. He had meant to stop by the bookshop earlier and hopefully, after you closed, go grab dinner with you, as you two sometimes did now. But he had got caught up with patrol stuff with Bruce and now he would be lucky if he managed to catch you before you left.

Thankfully, he’s able to reach the bookshop twenty minutes before you close. But when he enters, you are nowhere to be seen. 

Rose and Jimmy are behind the counter, chattering between them and just like every time that he went into the bookshop and you weren’t there, he felt his whole body deflate. The idea of seeing you always being his driving force.

But just like that other time when he entered knowing that you worked that day but Rose had greeted him, worry begins to settle in him. Had something happened that had made you change your shift? Were you sick?

“Hello, Jason!” Jimmy says when he and Rose notice him.

“Good evening, dear.” Greets Rose.

“Hello. Sorry, didn’t mean to bother, I know you’re about to close.”

“It’s okay, you’re always welcomed.” Jimmy answers.

“It’ll be quick. I just wanted to see if Y/N was here, I-”

“Does this look right, Rose? I feel like-” You say, emerging from the bathroom but then you freeze in your step when you spot him. “Oh, hi, Jason.”

But Jason is unable to answer, in fact, he’s pretty sure that he has forgotten how to breathe because he’s stunned looking at you.

You’re wearing a very nice dress that you must have changed into in the bathroom, and it’s clear that you’ve dressed up for something.

You look beautiful.

You always do but Jason has never seen you so formal and it stirs up something in him. For a second, he can imagine that he’s come to pick you up for a date.

But the joy of seeing you doesn’t last long as he feels his throat dry and he swears that he can feel sweat begin to form at the back of his neck and run down his back. It takes him a second to understand those symptoms and the unsettling feeling in his stomach.

Dread. Panic.

Because what if you actually do have a date?

Had he waited too long? Neither of you were any experts on relationships but it really felt like you two were working towards something. But what if it was too late now? What if he had let time drag on too much and now he was forever stuck in some kind of friend stage? Just like when he didn’t tell you about why he checked out so many children’s books and then it had passed so much time that it became awkward for him to do so.

His mind is in a spiral now, racing with thoughts. In one of your many conversations and hangouts after the very first reading with the kids and the diner, you both had mentioned that neither of you were seeing anybody. It was an off comment, something that you tell a friend without thinking too much about the implications of it.

But the idea hung in the air. The idea that the persons that you two were seeing were each other.

But still, neither of you had said that out loud.

And the thing was that you two weren’t just friends. Or at least that’s what Jason felt like and he thought that you probably thought the same. You two had a connection there and you were heading towards being something else. Slowly but steadily and surely, you were building something.

Right?

Suddenly, he finds himself revisiting every interaction that the two of you have ever had. Every longing look, every soft touch and that oh so wonderful moment while playing hide and seek where you two had almost kissed.

He couldn’t have possibly imagined all of that on his own, could he?

If he thought that the memory of holding your hand while he helped you down the ladder that one time had been haunting, it was nothing compared to that moment.

That moment that had plagued his mind every damn day since.

Everything about it, how you had looked at him, the smell of your hair, your hands on his shoulders, your slightly parted lips, added to everything about you from the very first time he met you, like your smile or the soft tone of your voice, creeping onto his skin and taking a resident place there. Like ivy, carving marks into him, down his arms and up his back, clasping and biting into him, leaving him red and scarred forever.

The difference of those imprints with the scars that he had gained over the years of crime-fighting and suffering was that they didn’t hurt nor weighed him down. Instead, they lifted him up, invigorated him and softly caressed his skin, like your hands taking care of his wounds, reassuring him that everything would be okay. That with you, everything will always be okay. They showed how much someone cared about him and valued him.

The difference being that he would wear your marks proudly. 

And Jason finally decides that he doesn’t want to walk on the tightrope anymore. He wants to let go and fall into the void, take a leap of faith and come clean to you. Tell you that he’s in love with you and that he wants to be yours.

He can only hope that you may lay a safety net beneath him to fall into.

And if he’s not that lucky, he would have another invisible scar added to him, from both crashing into the ground and from having at least tried. And even though that one would hurt, more deeply and a lot longer than any physical one that he may have, you would have given it to him, and he would welcome anything that came from you with open arms.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to do all of that but what he does know is that before anything, he wants to be honest with you. Tell you about being Red Hood. You deserve to know what you’re going to get into (if you even decide that you want to), before you two delve into something deeper.

The only thing is that you two are already there. Too far gone for each other, even though Jason doesn’t know that you are. The one thing that he is certain about is that when he tells you, it will change the foundations of the road that you have been building together.

What Jason isn’t so sure of is if it will destroy them, or make them even stronger.

But something that he does know, is that right now is not the moment for any of that.

So, for the time being, he settles with greeting you back and eventually saying:

“You look… You look great.” Even though that is an understatement.

You smile and shyly look down, your fingers playing with the skirt of your dress.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He says, and while you two are busy looking at each other, you both miss Rose and Jimmy’s knowing looks and smiles. And before he can help it, he’s opening his mouth again. “So, uhm, do you have a date or something?” He tries to say nonchalantly, not wanting to sound too obtrusive, but the doubt killing him.

Your eyes widen and you chuckle, shaking your head.

“What? God no, just fancy family dinner. It’s my parents' anniversary. Since they’re visiting they decided to celebrate together.” You explain, and Jason can feel a wash of relief going over him, his racing heart calming down.

He hasn’t lost his chance.

“Oh, that’s nice. Congrats.”

You nod and grab your things, getting ready to leave before turning to Jimmy and Rose.

“Thanks again for letting me go early.”

“Of course, dear. And don’t worry about the dress, it looks perfect. You look lovely.”

“No problem, sweetie.” Jimmy adds before complimenting you too.

You kiss the couple’s cheeks in thanks before bidding them goodbye, Jason copying your words before opening the door for you.

As you two leave, you see Jimmy whisper something into Rose’s ear while putting an arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him. She chuckles and she kisses his cheek and Jimmy kisses her forehead in return.

Jason smiles at the fond interaction.

“They’re lovely, aren’t they?” You say, still looking at the couple.

“They are.” Jason says, already looking at you. You’re lovely too. “You’re going to the restaurant with your family now?”

“Yeah, I didn’t have enough time to spare after the shift to go back home so I had to change in the bookshop. My parents lend me their car in order to make it.”

Jason nods, trying not to look too disappointed at the fact that he can’t even offer to drive you there, and a comfortable silence settles between you, neither of you wanting to part ways yet.

But you have to go if you don’t want to be late so you sigh before speaking once again.

“I have to go.”

“Yeah.” Jason says, hands in his pockets. “See you soon then.”

“Bye.” You say and you haven’t taken two steps before Jason calls your name. You turn.

“You look very beautiful.” He can’t help but compliment you again.

You feel your whole face heat up.

“Thanks.”

You think about him the whole way to the restaurant but then again, when aren’t you not thinking about Jason Todd?

Jason has never been more scared in his life. Well, maybe he had, when he was in that damned warehouse. And then later, when he woke up after that without being able to recall who he was or where he was.

But this other type of fear... It's almost paralyzing, threathening to swallow him whole.

He runs as fast as he can, taking long strides, his rugged breathing making him have tunnel vision and only allowing him to focus on one thing.

You.

He hadn’t liked how close the situation had been to the bookshop from the very first moment that they had received the alert. Worry tight in his throat since he had always hoped not to ever have this kind of situation this close to you.

The bookshop’s neighborhood had always been one of the safest in Gotham, there were certain minor crimes, yes, which part of the city didn’t have them? But none of the rogues had ever attacked there.

You had once joked that you thought that the reason for it might be that some of the villains had family living there. You once even said that you could have sworn to have seen the Penguin accompanying an old lady that might have been his mother crossing the street.

Yet still, now an ACE Chemicals truck had been assaulted by Scarecrow and his henchmen. The truck wasn’t even supposed to be in the neighborhood in the first place, but the company and the police had received some information that an attack was being planned and they had decided to detour it.

And now you were in danger.

Jason keeps running with his hands clenched into fists that were turning tighter and tighter by the second.

He can feel sweat gathering on his forehead and he can almost hear a ticking clock hanging over his head as he puts some distance between him and the sickeningly looking mist of muddy green gas that had exploded in the truck.

The very same gas that was quickly spreading along the streets and that would reach the bookshop in a matter of minutes.

The first ones to arrive at the scene had been him and Tim, trying to control the situation until backup could arrive.

Scarecrow’s men were taking over the truck and before leaping into action, Jason threw Tim a look that even with the helmet on, Tim could perfectly understand.

If anything starts going sideways, I’m out of here. Going to her.

Going to you.

Tim was also aware of the fact of how close it all was to the bookshop and he just nodded, knowing how much you mattered to Jason.

They had been able to control the situation more or less as more and more police cars gathered around the truck. But then Scarecrow had finally made his appearance and everything derailed. At first, it seemed like they just wanted to steal from the truck but then something happened and the truck exploded.

Between the chemicals from inside the truck and whatever other things the villain and his gang always brought with them, the gas set off along with the explosion.

Scarecrow and his men scurried off immediately after, giving the feeling that that had certainly not been their desired outcome.

But the gas started spreading and they had no idea what chemicals were inside the truck or what the effects of it could be, but Jason wasn’t going to risk it.

And so, he took a quick glance at Tim, who already had his gas mask on, helping people on the street, and returning his gaze, Tim just nodded.

Go. We handle this here.

And with that, Jason set off.

The bookshop wasn’t actually that far away, just a few blocks, but Jason feels like he’s doing the longest run of his life and that time itself is slowing him down. He has also tried calling you but the line was already overloaded with all the emergency calls.

As he runs, he can hear through his intercom Tim and Steph shouting instructions to everyone nearby and Barbara guiding Bruce to track down Scarecrow.

His heart’s racing and when he finally catches sight of the bookshop, he feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest.

The sound of the door slamming open startles you in your place behind the counter. You turn your head to tell the person that had entered to mind their manners when you are met with a red stare that you had only seen in blurry pictures on the news and heard rumors about.

You take in a sharp breath as Red Hood closes the door and approaches you in quick strides. You freeze in your place, not because you are scared of him but because of the surprise of it. Especially when you look him over and your gaze can’t tear away from the brown leather jacket that felt so familiar to you.

Red Hood grabs your wrist, bringing you with him hurriedly into the break room. And though his grip is strong, you’re surprised to find that it doesn’t hurt at all. You can hear him talking and you know that his presence here can’t mean anything good, though not for you of course, you know that Red Hood wouldn’t hurt you, he didn’t hurt innocent people, but something must have happened.

However, you can’t seem to register any of his words, it’s like he’s saying something but you’re underwater, his words sounding muffled and jammed together.

Because for some strange reason you’re still fixated on his jacket.

He sets you down on the floor next to the sofa in the break room and crouches down in front of you. And then he does something that makes your brows furrow in confusion.

He calls you by your name.

How does he even know your name?

You want to ask him but everything feels so confusing right now, like a tornado spinning around you. You only manage to utter a weak “What…?”, before you can’t help it and your hands, with a life of their own, run over his arms, feeling the fabric of the jacket until they reach the lapels and grip them.

Your heart was already racing and your breathing labored from the whole situation but it seemed like they hadn’t reached their limit yet. Though you feel like they are surely about to do so. You can feel your heart go even faster as your mind begins spiraling with thoughts and you suck in a breath when the realization hits you.

Because this… This piece of clothing so characteristic of the vigilante in front of you, you had spent an awful lot of time staring and gawking over the man that wore it several times in your bookshop.

Because this… This is the very same fabric that your hands had touched while you had been inches away from kissing that very same man in an alley while you were playing hide and seek.

Because now that you were able to see it up close, you instantly recognize it.

How could you not? When you had spent so much time with its owner, laughing while you two ate lunch; admiring him when he found an interesting book on the bookshelves; feeling understood when you shared your worries with him; taking the opportunity to touch his arm anytime that you could, covered in this very same jacket, one of the few of this type that he owned; hoping that if you were to tell him how you feel, he would feel the same way; and wishing that you could kiss him without having to worry about the consequences?

Because this jacket belongs to the man that you’re in love with.

Because this jacket… This jacket belongs to Jason Todd.

And then everything clicks, how he works nights, the wounds on his knuckles, his occasional and strange run offs. Suddenly it all feels so blatantly obvious that you wonder how you didn’t see it before.

You know in your gut what it means but your brain is still catching up with everything going on around you to fully make sense of what your heart already knows.

For a quick second, the thought that maybe he shouldn’t wear the same jacket while patrolling and during his day to day, makes you want to start laughing. Though it’s true that unless you saw it more than once, several times and very close, no one would realize that they were the same jacket. But the reality of the situation around you helps you to rein in the inappropriate laugh.

And then your name being called again finally breaks you out of your thoughts, and the only thing that you can focus on is him.

Jason’s gripping your shoulders now, willing you to focus on him and needing to have some kind of contact with you to make sure that you’re okay. He moves frantically, his eyes quickly checking the front door of the bookshop through one of the break room’s windows that look into the main part of the shop, already seeing the mist of gas slipping under it, trying to calculate how much time he has left.

He’s been asking you if you’re okay and trying to explain what has happened but the sentences come out stumbled, his brain going faster than what his mouth can follow.

In his haste he doesn’t even register the change in the look of your eyes at your realization.

He knows what he has to do but he’s afraid of what it will entail. He wanted to sit down with you, tell you about being Red Hood and explain everything to you. He wanted to be hopeful that you may understand but now he doesn’t have the chance to let you know how he would have wanted to.

It feels like someone has pushed him from the tightrope beneath him, directly cutting it, or rather, that it has snapped over his own weight, not able to hold him and his secrets anymore, and now he’s falling and he can’t do anything about it.

And if you would have ever laid a net beneath him, he’s sure that you would cut a hole open in it now.

He’s about to break everything that you two have been working towards, a shattering earthquake destroying what once was a strong and beautiful road.

But it’s the only way to keep you safe.

And he would cut the rope sustaining him himself and willingly fall into the abyss if he had to to make sure that you’re safe. That’s the only thing that matters to him right now.

And that’s exactly what he does.

You watch perplexed as Red Hood takes the helmet off and you’re met with the sharp features and white streak that you love so much.

It really is him.

He’s Red Hood.

Jason is Red Hood.

Jason, who always seemed to be checking out children’s books, wearing leather jackets and making you smile like no one has ever done before.

Your Jason.

Out of the corner of your eye you see a weird mist start to seep through under the door to the break room that Red Hood- no, Jason, had closed after you two entered.

“Jason?” You whisper. He lifts his head up from where he’s been fidgeting with the helmet since he took it off to meet your gaze, and the broken look in his eyes makes your heart feel like it has been stabbed. “What’s going on?” He follows your line of sight and his eyes grow with worry.

“Scarecrow.” He mutters while turning back to the helmet, he pushes a few hidden buttons in it and you’re surprised to see how its panels shift, changing its shape slightly but still having a head-like form.

And then Jason turns to you, his hands lifting with the helmet towards your head.

Your face contorts with horror when you realize what he wants to do.

You immediately grab his forearms, pushing them down and therefore, the helmet too.

“What are you doing?” You say.

“I have to protect you. And we don’t know what the gas does yet so I’m not taking any risks.” He pushes the helmet towards your head once again but you repeat your previous action, preventing him from doing so.

“And you? What about you?” You ask desperately, the gas coming closer and closer towards you both.

Jason’s lips pull into a sad smile. “I’ll be fine.” He whispers. It’s like he has already resigned himself to something. You shake your head.

“No. I’m not taking it.”

“I have a spare small mask, don’t worry.”

You’re still so in shock from everything that you don’t realize that he’s lying, yet in the pit of your stomach you can already feel a pool of dread forming.

“But-” You start but he cuts you off.

“Y/N, listen to me. We don’t have much time. Do you trust me?”

Even with everything that has just happened, you don’t hesitate.

“Always.”

Jason nods and puts the red helmet over your head, the shifted panels allowing it to fit your head perfectly. Jason sighs with relief and looks at you fondly, his hands still on either side of your head.

Your hands come up to cover his own and he nods reassuringly. “You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.

Everything is going to be okay.

But then Jason starts coughing.

The gas has already reached you both and gathers at your ankles.

Your eyes widen and you reach for him as his hands let go of your head to support himself when he begins lulling to one side. “Jason!” You shout.

You can see his eyes losing focus, starting to get dizzy. While your breathing keeps coming in deep and clean thanks to the regulator built in the helmet, Jason seems to be gasping for air, like he isn’t getting enough oxygen or like his lungs are refusing what’s going in them.

And you finally realize that there never was a spare mask.

How could you have been so foolish?

You try to take the helmet off to give it back to him but it’s like it’s closed off. You press the buttons that you find on the underside at the back but nothing happens. You try everything but it just won’t come off.

Nothing.

You can’t take it off.

He must have locked it somehow, almost as if he knew what you would try to do.

You can’t protect him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” A cough. “ I swear I wanted to tell you.” Another one. “ I was going to.” He says between short breaths before finally collapsing onto the floor.

You grab him before his head hits the ground and you hush him gently.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Now it’s you the one holding the sides of his face softly.

One of his hands comes up to hold one of your own, and you can’t stand the look of utter adoration and affection with which he gazes at you.

Because you can’t help him.

And his look is as if he would be content to go this way, knowing that at least you’re safe.

And your heart breaks all over again.

The room is covered in gas now and it’s not until your vision becomes slightly blurry that you register the tears welling up in your eyes.

You cry for help but there’s nothing that can be done now. You also try calling 911, not caring what will happen if someone sees that he’s Red Hood. You just need him to be safe. But the line doesn't work. Jason begins to close his eyes.

“Hey, hey, no.” You urge. “Stay with me, stay with me.” Jason opens his eyes once more, fighting to stay awake, but you can see in them how he’s almost gone, his consciousness slipping away from him.

“Please.” You whisper, fighting the tears.

And then his hand holding yours falls limp.

And with it, your heart does too.

You shake him, call him, scream at him to wake up but it’s no use. Tears run down your cheeks now, raked sobs breaking though your chest.

You even try to take off the helmet again but of course, nothing happens.

You feel for his heartbeat, it takes you an agonizing second to feel it but it's there.

Weak and slow, barely perceptible, but it’s there.

Although you fear that probably not for much longer.

Fear and dread run through you, you don’t know how to fix this. You don’t want to let him go but he’s being pulled away from you.

And then the door to the break room bursts open.

You look up and there Red Robin stands.

And the way in which he shakes his hair away from his eyes with a movement of his head while looking around the room frantically, trying to locate you through the mist, makes your breath hitch in realization for the second time in the last few minutes.

Tim.

Then he notices Jason’s unconscious body in your arms and when his gaze meets yours, even with the helmet on he knows what you want to say.

Save him.

Your shifts at the bookstore have never felt longer. You had become so used to him and come to rely on his visits so much that now, without him, they only drag on and on and on, something that had never even happened before.

Even before him.

Your only solace being that he’s alive.

You often have to remind yourself of that fact when the memory of the fear of losing him claws back at you.

Jason is alive. He is okay.

After Tim found you two, he launched towards Jason, checking his vitals and addressing his state.

He told you that he needed to bring Jason to the batcave as soon as possible and you had immediately grabbed Jason’s hand, refusing to let go of him and profusely saying that you were going with him.

But Tim had only shook his head, explaining how Jason would kill him if he ever allowed you to not go to the hospital for a check up.

But you had fought him with tooth and nails, saying that you weren’t leaving his side anytime soon and Tim had no other option but to give up.

However, just as Tim was calling for Steph to come and help him with Jason quickly, you passed out.

Whether because of all the emotions and stress of those five minutes (because yes, since Jason first entered into the bookshop to protect you, it had only been five minutes, maybe even less), or because due to the shifted panels in the helmet, some gas had managed to slip in, you didn’t know.

Probably more the later than the former but still.

Next thing you knew, you woke up in the hospital. Thankfully without the helmet, Tim having probably managed to unlock it.

Through the doctors, nurses, and the news on the TV in the ER, you learned that the gas was dangerous but thankfully non-lethal. In most cases, like yours, people in the neighborhood who had only inhaled a bit just felt dizzy for a few hours or passed out for a bit.

In other cases, the most serious ones, like Jason’s, people were put into a coma-like state, with the lungs rendered to a point of near-exhaustion. But with good rest and the appropriate care, they would recover soon with no side effects.

Batman had managed to apprehend Scarecrow and just like the vigilantes had suspected from the beginning, it wasn’t a deliberate attack but a robbery gone wrong.

They let you go of the hospital that very same afternoon, with instructions that if you felt any kind of dizziness to come back. After your family (and Rose and Jimmy of course) checked in with you, you were finally able to grab a hold of your phone that had been left in the bookshop.

You were met with a text from Tim, how he had managed to get your number, you didn’t know, but it probably had something to do with the fact that all the Waynes were part of the Batfamily.

Or at least, that’s what you figured, once you were finally able to think with a clear head and digest all of your recent discoveries.

The text said that Jason had made it to the batcave safely, that he had been treated immediately and that he was resting now.

You have never been more grateful for anything in your life.

But that had been a week and a half ago. And you hadn’t seen Jason since.

You felt like a part of you had been ripped out and taken along with him. The absence of a vital organ leaving you empty.

Probably your heart, since it had left your chest and leaped itself into Jason’s hands a long time ago.

The neighborhood had been deemed safe after the gas dissipated and you were back to your job like nothing had ever happened, just like how it often was after any incident with a rogue in Gotham.

Life just went on. Gotham and its residents as resilient as ever. The fight and survival etched onto their DNA.

If there ever was something to admire Gotham for, its survival skills were definitely it.

You had wanted to see Jason immediately, and you had even called Tim so that he could tell you more about Jason’s state and tried to see when you could go see him but then your mother had called.

Your uncle had had an accident at work and he would need surgery.

Though there was some risk, it wasn’t a extremely dangerous procedure. But if there was something that all of your family had in common and that was characteristic of all of you, was that if something happened to someone, every single member of the family would come running to be there.

And you knew that you had to be there, you wanted to be there, but it still tore at your insides having had to leave without having being able to see Jason. But your uncle lived on the other side of the country and you had to take a plane that very same night to be able to arrive before the surgery the next day.

So, you had called Tim back, telling him that you had to leave, how bad you felt, how sorry you were and that you would try to come back as soon as possible. But Tim assured you that it was okay, that they would all take care of Jason, that it would take him a couple of days to wake up and be fully conscious and that he understood (and that Jason would too) that you had to go.

You nodded, trying to hold back tears and muff your sniffling due to all the stress that had taken a hold of you due to all the recent events. Tim had calmed you down and promised you to keep you updated. Helping you just like you had done when you met him.

Thank god for Tim Drake. You’re pretty sure that you would have lost it if it weren’t because of him. His reassurance a sign of a friendship for a lifetime.

And so, you left. Everything went well with your uncle and you were glad to have been able to see your family for a few days since quite a long time ago.

But when you came back, Jason wouldn’t see you.

It took Jason two days to wake up from the coma-like state, though he had been getting better and better with each passing hour, and a full day of only eating and sleeping before he was able to return to normalcy.

Still, when he first woke up, the only thing in his foggy brain was you. He asked about you as soon as he opened his eyes and Tim told him that you were okay but that you had to leave for a few days due to a family emergency, and that you had called every day several times to check in.

Jason let out a sigh of relief. Both because you were safe and because he didn’t know how he would have faced you if you had been there.

He was sure that you hated him now. Despised him. Sure, you had called to see how he was, but that’s just how you were, caring and protective. But deep down, he knew that you had to resent him for having hidden being Red Hood from you.

He was sure that if he saw you, the first thing that you would do was scream at him and tell him that you didn’t want him in your life anymore.

And he wouldn’t be able to bear that.

He didn’t know how he could ever go back to a life without you.

That’s why he refused to see you everytime that you reached out after you came back. Letting his phone ring out when you called, later just sending a quick text saying that he was fine, that he was just busy with some things in order to not worry you. He knew that it was unfair and that he was being an idiot but he didn’t know what he would do if he saw you, even though he knew that he eventually would have to.

And yet, despite all of that, he still couldn’t bring himself to fully cut ties with you. He simply couldn’t. Needing you at least in some way in his life just as much as he needed air. As well as the fact that he knew that he couldn't do something like that to you, at least not without explaining.

It wasn’t until Tim cornered him and talked some sense into him that he realized that he couldn’t put it off any longer. 

When Jason enters the bookshop, a chill runs through him as he shakes the drops of water from his hair. He had dreaded every single step that he took towards the bookshop, a cloud of shame hanging over his head. And then the universe had decided that he wasn’t miserable enough and so that cloud of shame had quite literally started to pour on him. He couldn’t help but think that he deserved it but still, it sucked.

He usually liked rain. Just not when he didn’t have an umbrella and was tethering on the edge of sanity while trying to hold the composure that he had created to give him the strength necessary to face you. And certainly not when he was holding a hot chocolate that he had bought for you; having already lost count of how many times he had previously done so when he came to visit you, in a sad attempt at a peace offering, even though he was sure that you would dump it on him; but that now surely was just cold chocolate.

Shit. He really was going to look like even more of an idiot than he already was.

“Jason?” Your soft voice comes through, like an antidote calming him instantly and soothing all his worries. Your presence, like always, making all of his dark thoughts go away.

Though that peace didn’t last long because you were here now and he couldn’t run now. He had to do what he had come to do.

Even though he still wasn’t sure what exactly that was, no matter how much he had tried to prepare himself. Had he come to apologize? Explain? Beg for your forgiveness? He had no idea.

It didn’t matter anymore because as usual, all his thoughts and working brain cells flew out of the window when he was near you. This time even more so than usual since he had never gone this long without seeing you. He just stands there, soaked from the rain on the entrance doormat, like a wet cat begging to be let home again after causing trouble and running out.

And you’re just standing there, in the doorway of the break room, looking at him like you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, as if he was some mythological creature and you didn’t dare to move an inch, either in order not to scare him away or because you were petrified in fear, Jason didn’t know.

And he’s just rendered speechless. His breath taken away from him as he takes you in for what possibly is the last time, trying to commit every part of your beautiful self to memory, all of those parts that he already knows by heart, before you kick him out of the bookshop and out of your life forever.

“Yeah.” He finally responds.

Great, Jason. Very eloquent.

No turning back now.

He gulps.

“Hi.” He adds, trying to act with normalcy but he winces when he realizes that it doesn’t match the situation at all. There really is no way of making this any easier, is there?

He expects you to start yelling at him, push him, anything. But you just keep staring at him. And then:

“God, you’re drenched. Wait here.” You disappear for a second and Jason can’t believe what has just happened, a bewildered look in his eyes. He expected anything but that. But he obeys, doing whatever you asked of him in his very nature, trying to move as little as possible so that he would only drop water onto the doormat. You return quickly and hand him a towel after taking the hot (cold) chocolate from his hands so that he can dry up a bit. 

You put the cup onto the counter as he shakes his boots on the mat, dries his face and ruffles the towel through his hair. When he finishes you approach him once again.

“Here, let me take your jacket. You're going to freeze.” Jason feels like he’s on autopilot as he follows your every direction, like a sailor the call of a siren. Not daring to move a single muscle or do any abrupt movement other than what’s necessary, afraid of breaking whatever is happening right now.

You hang his jacket on the coat rack by the door to dry a bit and then you turn back to him.

There’s a moment of silence, the only noise being the rain’s soft pattering against the windows, the dark clouds filtering the setting sun, casting the bookstore in a gloomy atmosphere though the place still maintains its warm glow from the few lamps turned on with a yellow and orange glow.

The place is quiet, not a single soul in the bookshop except you two. Jason made sure of coming around closing time so that you could be alone, without any other customers interrupting and, even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, the small hope of finding the bookshop closed and therefore having the perfect excuse to delay this another day.

But of course, the universe wasn’t going to have it. He never was that lucky.

Jason is so stupefied that he doesn’t move from the doormat as you take a couple of steps closer to him and look him over. Assessing him. Studying him. He avoids your gaze, not knowing what to do under your scrutiny.

He might as well be a cactus now with how rooted he is to the goddamn doormat. And then he sees how your feet join his on it and he can’t help the chill that runs through him once again, but not from the cold this time, but from your intoxicating proximity, so reminiscent of the one from the ghost kiss in the alley.

This is it, he thinks. This is when you finally push him from your life forever.

But then you surprise him once again, when without any trace of hesitation nor fear you touch his face. Sofly cradling it as if you might still care about him.

He doesn’t understand anything that’s going on right now. He has never been more confused in his entire life.

After so many months, Jason had come to know you in such a way, so intricately well, that he could read you like a book. Just like you with him. But now, Jason is seriously questioning that because he has no idea what is going through your mind right now.

He finally gathers the courage to look at you, still afraid of what he’s going to find, but you’re not even looking at him.

Your gaze is fixated upon the small cut at the end of his left eyebrow.

A reminder of the Red Hood duty from the night before. How he had managed to get a wound there even with the helmet on, he had no idea.

He sees your eyebrows furrow and your expression change to one of worry.

And then your hands run down his sides until they take a hold of his, inspecting them over after taking the towel from them.

And you sigh, disappointed in finding what you hoped not to be there. The skin on his knuckles broken once again.

Jason feels like a stranded boat, lost at sea, the water around him lulling him to its will.

That’s you.

The rain continues on as you turn slightly and flip the sign of the bookshop to closed before locking the door.

As a lightning strikes in the distance, flashing momentaneous light into the bookshop and illuminating your soft features, you take Jason’s hand and just like several times before, you drag him to the break room, but this time, instead of on a chair by the table, you sit him down on the sofa.

And he lets you. He gladly lets the sea take his boat wherever it wants to. Even if it’s to his own demise.

You take the blanket resting on the arm of the couch and drape it over him, making sure that it stays on his shoulders before you take the towel back to the bathroom and for the third time, you grab the first aid kit there.

You return to the break room and not even your shuffling steps make his lost gaze go towards you.

Despite his big frame you had never seen him so small, curled onto himself, head hung in shame; and it makes your heart clench. He looks deep in thought, grabbing the edges of the blanket so that it stays wrapped around him, as if he’s contemplating how to say whatever he has come to say to you.

But you don’t care. He could stay quiet the whole time if he wanted to.

Because at least he was here.

And honestly, your first instinct at seeing him back in the bookshop had been to run to him and hug him like your life depended on it and never let him go. But you had ultimately decided against it, not wanting to scare him away.

His presence there still felt almost like a mirage to you, after having gone so long without seeing him for the first time ever since you met him.

So, it was a very welcomed step from just sending you short texts letting you know he was still alive and well.

And you couldn’t blame him. Like always, you two worked by taking your own time, giving each other space.

And you knew that Jason had a lot on his mind after the gas incident. In the chaos of it all, he had told you that he had wanted to tell you about being Red Hood before and you wholeheartedly believed him, knowing that it wasn’t something that you could just tell anyone at any given moment. And now he had to deal with the reality that now you knew about that part of his life.

And you had a feeling that he thought that you would push him away for it. Resent him. When it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Because now you saw the whole picture that Jason Todd was.

And you know what?

He still was your Jason.

He still was the man that you were in love with.

Someone to whom you felt connected in a way that you had never felt before. Someone that was your friend and that always managed to make you smile. Someone that was always there for you when you had a bad day. Someone that reads to kids in his free time. Someone that tries to make this city better and protects its people as a vigilante. Someone who goes out of his way to visit you, a completely normal and ordinary woman who runs a simple bookshop. Someone that didn’t hesitate in sacrificing his own safety for yours.

Yeah, you were still very much in love with that man.

And if he needed some time to come back to you, that was fine with you because you knew that he wouldn’t just leave you like that. During the last few days you could even have sworn to have seen him peering through the windows into the bookshop in passing, but when you focused a bit more, he was gone. Or at least that’s what you hoped, the string pulling you two together too strong. 

No matter how much it had pained you to have the person holding your heart keeping you at arm’s length.

Because a day or two more of waiting and you would have stormed into wherever Jason was and told him how much he meant to you until that stubborn head of his realized how you weren’t ever letting him go.

You also hoped that he didn’t resent you, for not having been able to be at his side when he woke up. Something that you will never forgive yourself for, no matter how you knew that it couldn’t have been any other way.

You sit down next to him and place the first aid kit on the coffee table in front of the sofa, getting all that you will need to heal his wounds ready. You take one more look at them and your heart clenches.

You don’t like how he doesn’t seem to take full care of himself.

Because to you, Jason Todd was a treasure. A treasure that you will never be sure how you had managed to be able to find.

And he should be treated just like one.

And that’s exactly what you intend to do.

You follow the same process as the last time to take care of his knuckles, Jason quiet and avoiding your gaze the whole time, before moving onto the cut on his brow.

You raise your hand with a cotton patch to put some antiseptic on it and your eyes finally meet his. The green in them, like always, lighting up your insides, a forest in which you would gladly get lost in.

Jason looks at you as one of your hands takes a hold of his chin to tilt his head while the other one begins treating the cut.

And Jason feels like dying when he sees the flash of pain that crosses your eyes because he knows that he’s the one who put it there.

From the very first time that you healed him, he could see how you didn’t like seeing him hurt. Yet he still had let you see his wounds and tend to them more times after that.

He really usually does tend to his wounds. Except that very first time with his knuckles that he had been so tired he had only cleaned them. But after feeling your soft hands taking care of him for the first time, it was like he didn’t want his wounds healed anymore unless it was you the one who did it.

And so, subconsciously, selfishly and guiltily, he barely tended to them, just what was strictly necessary, a desperate attempt and blind hope of you maybe wanting to heal him in order to feel your delicate touch, that Jason was sure did a lot more for his wounds than whatever any kind of medicine could do.

Your touch not only mending his wounds but also healing his soul and soothing all the bad thoughts in his mind.

But right now, Jason wants nothing more than to get on his knees and do whatever you ask of him. Anything to make the slight hurt that briefly passes your eyes go away. Beg if it's necessary.

He thinks that apologizing may be a good starting point.

“Y/N…” He begins but before he can go on any further you hush him, almost like you want to enjoy the silence and this moment of intimacy as much as possible.

Then you reach for the first aid kit again, taking a steri-strip from a pack that you had bought, along with some other extra items, knowing that the basics of a normal first aid weren’t going to be enough now that you knew that he was Red Hood.

You put it on the cut, careful of not hurting him. Jason watches you mesmerized, still not believing that you haven’t kicked him out yet.

Then, you take a normal band-aid to put over the strip, just to be extra safe but mainly because you want to see him smile.

“Is that a Hello Kitty band-aid?” He asks in disbelief, breaking the silence, as he watches you open the band-aid with the pink, red and white doodles.

“Yup.” You say as you put it, covering the cut and fully hiding it from view, Jason not putting any kind of resistance to it. And your heart clenches blissfully at the small smile that pulls at Jason’s lips. Oh, how much you had missed it, your own personal kind of drug. And you can’t help but mirror him too.

“Thanks.” He whispers once you’re done patching him up. You give a slight nod in return.

You pass your thumb softly over the band-aid to make sure that it doesn’t fall off and then you meet Jason’s eyes again, that look just like a kicked puppy’s. Shining with oncoming tears and wide in fear of what is going to come next.

“I owe you an explanation.” He finally says with a sigh of resignation and you shake your head.

“Jason, you don’t-”

“No, let me do this. I need to do this. It’s the least I can do, I owe it to you.” He says, taking your hands in his, one of which still was caressing his eyebrow and stares at them as he can’t help but begin to rub soft circles into the back of them.

Goosebumps raise all over your skin.

Jason takes a deep breath before he starts talking. It seemed like you still cared about him but would you still do so once he finally explained everything and told you the truth?

He didn’t want to get his hopes up. But he knows that he can’t delay this anymore. He doesn’t want to.

As he begins, a cracking thunder sounds in the distance, shaking the foundations of the road that you two have been building together to its core.

The question being, would it stand the storm?

You listen to him intently. He doesn’t look at you once, instead deciding to focus on your joined hands. Grabbing onto a last part of you before he lets you go forever.

“And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I totally understand that you may not want to see me anymore. I betrayed your trust and that’s unforgivable. Some of the things that I’ve done…” He shakes his head. “I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. Please know that. You mean so much to me. And even though it breaks me having to remove myself from your life, I know that it’s for the best.”

“Jason, I-”

“No, no. Let me finish please.” He continues ranting. “I promise you that I won’t let the feelings that I have for you get in the way. I will go out that door tonight and never come back again. I’ll let you get on with your life.”

You’re fairly sure that he doesn’t even realize half the things that he’s saying. It’s like he has opened a gate and now not only is he apologizing and telling you the truth about everything, but he’s also letting his feelings for you finally come to the surface, unable to stop himself. He’s so caught up in everything that he leaves them out in the open without even realizing it.

And you just want to smile. Because Jason Todd has feelings for you too. And he has just said it out loud. You try to conceal your beaming smile to not scare him away. He’s way too much into his own head now, spiraling around the fact that he has to remove himself from your life as some sort of self-imposed punishment and in order to at least spare himself a part of the pain that would come from you outright kicking him away.

But you would never do that. Because even with everything that he has just told you and the things that he hasn’t yet, because you know that his story is a lot longer than what an evening can hold and holds a lot more things and very much darker ones than what he has revealed for the moment, you still want to be here with him. You still want him in your life.

Nothing could make you want to stay away from Jason Todd.

Not even himself.

And if there’s one thing that you’re stubborn about is that you’re always there for the people that you care about.

You just need to make him see that. To make him see how important he is to you. And you’re going to do everything you can so that he does.

You call his name again, trying to center his attention back to you but he keeps rambling.

You can only think of one thing that might finally make him stop and listen to you while also making him realize how you feel about him.

You have never done something as bold as this before. And there’s still a knick of doubt in the back of your mind, but the mere possibility of Jason leaving and the fact that the safety line that you two had drawn about your friendship and your feelings is fully difuminated now after his unintentional confession, almost as if it had never actually been there, has you determined. You want to think that it would turn out right.

And if not, at least you would get to do something that you had wanted to do for a very long time.

So, after firmly saying his name once more, and one of your hands getting out of his hold and tilting his head towards you, just when his eyes finally, finally, lock with yours for a quick second, you press your lips to his.

It’s not a long kiss and there isn’t much movement but you hope that you’re conveying everything that you feel for him and more. You can tell that Jason’s caught by surprise but it doesn’t take long at all for him to slowly press his lips against yours, returning your kiss. He lets himself melt into it and you do too. You feel warm all over and then you both sigh against each other, the two of you having fallen off the tightrope and finding that not only there’s a safety net beneath you, but an infinite number under it, one after the other, in the impossible case that one might break.

A soft place to land, a warm embrace.

You think that you could die happily right now.

You part, not wanting to overwhelm him but just from that taste you can already feel yourself slightly dizzy in the best kind of way. You slowly open your eyes and see Jason already looking at you, not believing what has just happened. You take a deep breath. Might as well put the nail in the coffin now. Cement the road.

“I’m in love with you Jason. All that makes you be you. Including being Red Hood. And I’m not going anywhere. And I really, really hope that you aren’t either.” You whisper.

“I’m a mess.”

You tilt your head with a small smile. “Aren’t we all?”

“Are you sure?” He whispers back, caressing your hair, still giving you an out, a last chance for you to escape him and all his problems, before his instincts take over and he latches himself onto you forever and never lets you go.

You nod, not faltering in your resolve. “Yes.”

“I’m in love with you too. I love you.” He says next and nothing has ever felt so liberating. Jason feels light, floating. And all he wants to do now is say it over and over again, just in case that you might still not be aware of how much he loves you.

“Good. That’s very, very good. I love you too.” You giggle, pressing your forehead to his, your noses brushing each other. Jason grins.

“Can you do that again?” He asks, his gaze dropping to your lips, already knowing that the day that he goes by without tasting them will be torture.

Your smile widens even more, if that’s even possible, and you kiss him once again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

After that, everything stayed more or less the same. Jason kept coming into the bookshop several times a week, buying books and checking out some others.

Except that now, he also kissed you everytime he did so.

Except that now, you went on very official dates, not ones that could be mistaken by a friendly hangout.

Except that now, you paid a lot more attention to any news about Red Hood.

Except that now, you always patched him up.

Except that now, you spent nights in each other's beds.

And right now, you’re very confused.

Your brows knit as you try to understand what is in front of you. The computer screen showing the details of a book order that you had made for the bookshop a while ago but that hadn’t arrived, not making any sense.

You’re so concentrated that you barely register the jingle of the bell above the entrance door. Out of the corner of your eye you feel a figure come to stand in front of the counter.

“Just a second, please. I’ll be right with you.” You say almost automatically, trying to see if you can just wrap your head around what you’re reading on the screen, though you doubt that a few more seconds will make any difference. But still, you’re adamant to try.

“It’s okay. I’m just looking for my girlfriend.” The figure says and your head lifts up so fast at the voice that you should be worried about getting whiplash. But you don’t care.

Because there he is.

Jason Todd.

Your boyfriend.

You still feel giddy inside every time that you think about it.

You let out a small gasp before your lips twist into a wide smile and you might as well be The Flash with how quickly you round the counter and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Jason’s smile is just as radiant as yours as he watches you come to him and gets ready for when you crash into him, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and giving you a slight spin when your feet lift off the floor due to the force of your hug.

He closes his eyes and breathes you in while he hugs you and brings you even closer to him, if that’s even possible. Your bodies merged into one in your embrace.

Never in his wildest dreams would Jason have ever thought that he would find himself in this situation. One in which you rush to meet him glowing with happiness. One in which he gets to kiss you without the fear of being rejected and one in which he’s able to call himself yours. He never would have believed any of that when he stepped foot into the bookshop that fateful night, which he was sure would be the last time he would ever get to see you.

He still can’t believe how lucky he is to have you. He just can’t wrap his head around the fact that you want him. That you accept all of his demons and that you help him fight them. That you love him. He will never take it for granted.

God, he loves you so much.

Your feet touch the floor once again but he doesn’t let go. He lets his senses overwhelm with you, everything about you enveloping him and not letting him feel anything that isn’t you. Your scent, the feel of your hair tickling his cheek, your arms around him. He doesn’t want to ever let you go.

He’s finally home.

Two weeks and a half is too long without you.

You think the very same about him as you do the exact same with him, your senses taking every part of him in, committing him to memory once again, even though you already know them like the back of your hand.

The feel of his soft hair as you run your fingers through it, just like you had dreamed so many times before, the scent and feel of his leather jacket beneath your arms.

God, you love him so much.

You finally pull back and look up at him with stars in your eyes. And then, without sparing another second, he dips down to kiss you. Or you pull up to kiss him, you’re not sure.

The only thing that matters is that his lips are finally back on yours and that’s all you need to know. You kiss him deeply, savoring him after being apart for so long and he kisses you back just as eagerly, loving the feeling of finally having you back in his arms.

And just like everytime that you kissed, like the very first time, it feels like a dream. Because you still can’t believe that he’s yours and that you’re his.

It was a long time coming.

But it turns out that you two are still human and therefore still need to breathe, so you both pull away but only what is strictly necessary to regain your breaths. Your chests and foreheads are still pressed together and lips inches from each other, so close that you can’t tell which breaths are his and which breaths are yours.

Your fast beating hearts falling into the same rhythm, syncing once again, going as one.

One of your hands holds the side of his face, softly caressing his cheek, so smooth that he must have shaved that very same morning. You feel his grip on your waist tighten.

“What are you doing here?” You finally say between giggles, the drug of his proximity, like always, making pure happiness run through your veins.

“Wrapped the case early.” He answers breathlessly before not being able to resist anymore and kissing you again.

You can’t help the smile on your lips while you kiss him and you can feel another one pulling at his own. When you separate once again you smile at each other, your eyes shining with love and affection for one another.

Jason had left earlier that month to help Dick with a case in Blüdhaven for a few days but then the thing had gotten bigger and dragged them all the way to Metropolis, making his trip longer than what he had first anticipated.

And then earlier in the week he had told you that he wouldn’t be able to return until the end of it. But here he was. Holding you in his arms and kissing you on a peaceful Wednesday afternoon.

“Everything went well?” You ask, not daring to tear your eyes away from his, only perhaps to steal a quick look at his lips.

“Yeah. All good.”

Before either of you can say anything else or even try to kiss each other again, Rose, Jimmy and Charlie, all of whom had been chatting over coffee in the break room, emerge at all the fuss.

“What’s all this?” Says Charlie with a smile as you and Jason disentangle, though he keeps you tucked into his side with a respectful arm around your waist.

“Just a young lovers reunion, Charlie.” Answers Rose.

“Sorry for intruding on, kiddos.” Adds Jimmy.

“It’s okay.” You say.

“You must be this Jason that I’ve heard so much about.” Charlie comments.

“Yes, sir. And you must be the famous Charlie. Nice to meet you.” Jason answers while shaking his hand, though not before throwing you a glance that makes your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and hide your face in his shoulder for a second. So you talked about me too huh?

“You too. My grandchildren are going to be devastated that you’re with someone now, darling.” Charlie says jokingly towards you now.

“Sorry, Charlie.” You respond with an apologetic smile.

“It’s good to see you, sweetie.” Says Rose to Jason to which Jimmy nods in agreement.

“It’s great to be back home.” He answers and you feel his hand give your waist a slight squeeze.

Shivers run down your spine.

You look up at Jason lovingly, a gaze that he returns, and you’re so lost in each other that neither of you see the smiles and look of recognition that the elders have in their faces, having themselves experienced a love like yours that still lasted to this day.

“Go, honey. Take the rest of the day.” Rose offers. You turn to her surprised but you can’t help but to also be excited at the possibility of going out with Jason already. Maybe to see Lily and the other kids, since Jason hadn’t seen them since he left, though you had of course shown up to check on them and continue with the readings, or maybe to eat something at Millie and Ruby’s.

But you don’t care as long as Jason’s with you. There were so many possibilities and you two had all the time in the world. And you were going to seize every single second of it. You two had wasted enough time already.

You also already know that Jason’s either spending the rest of the week at your apartment or you’re spending it at his.

“Are you sure?” You ask Rose.

“Yeah, go have fun, kids.” Jimmy confirms. You thank them before smiling brightly at Jason and then going to get your bag and coat.

As you and Jason make your way towards the door, Charlie speaks up once again.

“You’re treating her right, I suppose.”

Jason looks at you as he opens the door of the bookshop before turning back to Charlie.

“Always.” He says without hesitating and Charlie nods, glad with his answer.

The elders watch you go, happy that you two have each other. They watch how Jason moves the hand on the small of your back to take your hands between his and blow into them to warm them up in the cold Gotham air. And how you then zip his jacket all the way up, adjusting the collar so that it would protect him as much as possible, both of you smiling and looking at each other fondly, before you disappear from their view hand in hand.

Because as it turns out, it isn’t really a surprise when the road stays as strong and sturdy as ever after that cracking thunder.

Because that night, the days after and over time, Jason told you everything. About his past, about his family. And over time all that you did was fall even more for him, loving every part, every scar that he decided to show you. And he did the exact same for you.

Because in the end, he still was your Jason, the kind and handsome young man who always checked out children’s books and wore leather jackets.

Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

in your hands | jason todd

Summary: Jason thinks he's too big to be loved. You show him that that's impossible.

Pairing: Jason Todd x gn!reader 

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings/tags: bathing together, sad jason, brief dissociation, i hc jason to have body dysmorphia and i wanted to explore that, non sexual nudity, washing your partner, bruce angst, hopeful ending.

A/N: as always, if you like this fic, tell me through comments and reblogs :)

the divider

Tonight, Jason comes home far away.

You clock it as soon as he walks in. He’s moving on autopilot: boots by the door, helmet on the shelf, gear in the closet. He washes his hands, hangs up his jacket, and then he stands at the doorway. And waits. 

You’re never quite sure what he’s waiting for. But you know that he’ll stay stuck in his head if you don’t step in. 

“Hey, baby,” you say, cupping his cheeks. “Hey. You wanna eat or clean up first?”

The change is instant. As soon as you touch him, Jason is there. You’ve never mentioned it to him. It frightens you too much to explore, knowing that you’re his tether. You don’t want to think about what that means, having the power to anchor a man who used to be dead.

He looks at you, meets your gaze head-on.

“Did I disappear?” he whispers.

“Little bit. It’s okay.”

You keep stroking his cheeks, avoiding his shaving cuts and the freshly split lip. There’s a bruise around his eye and on his temple. 

“Wanna wash up,” he finally says, but his hands cling to your waist. 

You pet the back of his neck. “Want me to go with you?” 

“Please?” He glances at the kitchen. “But if you’re in the middle ‘f something, then—”

“No, Jay. C’mon.”

You take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom. Jason undresses while you draw a bath. Soon the bathroom starts to fog up with steam. You pour in some Epsom salts for his muscle aches—you know he should soak more than he does. 

You turn off the faucet. Jason is in his boxers, staring at himself in the mirror. He picks at his autopsy scar, presses the puckered white flesh until it turns red. 

“Jay,” you say gently. “C’mere, honey.”

His hands drop to his sides. Jason goes to the bath, pulls off his underwear, and sinks into the water. It’s a generously-sized tub. Jason had gotten his old tub replaced for a larger one after you’d mentioned that you liked baths. Soon enough, you’d introduced him to the wonders of hot baths for his sore muscles. 

Even with its size, Jason still has to bend his knees slightly to fit. He pushes himself up easily. A little water sloshes over and dampens the edge of your shirt. Jason curses.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head. 

“It’s okay, honey. You want me to come in?”

He nods. You pull off your shirt, then your pants and underwear. Jason folds in on himself to make room, but you stop him.

“I’ll just sit between your legs, Jay. No problem.”

You step into the bath. Jason holds your wrist so you can sit down without slipping. He stares at his hand on your arm after you’ve sat. 

You reach over for a washcloth and pour a lightly-scented soap. You lather it up first, then rub it over his shoulders, his chest, his stomach. Jason is perfectly still. 

“Can you lean over, baby? So I can get your back.”

Jason obediently leans over. You smile at him as he holds himself up with his core. You know Jason’s not just strong, that he’s agile too. He’s very good at wielding his body.

You wash his back. This close, you can see the contours of his muscles, how broad he is. 

When you’re done, you wring the soap out of the cloth and cup water in your palms to rinse the suds off of his skin. You catch his gaze in the mirror across the tub. Jason turns his head.

“God, look at me. How are you not afraid every time I come stompin’ around?”

You stop pouring water and rest your hands on Jason’s biceps. “What do you mean?”

He scoffs. “I’m like a huge, fuckin’... monster. Too big, too loud. I’m—” He swallows, bows his head. “How can you look at me?”

“Jay, honey. You’re not a monster.”

“Bruce thinks so,” he whispers, and straightens. “He can barely look at me. Every time he does, ‘s like he doesn’t even recognize me.”

His hand quietly swishes through the water to claw at his autopsy scar. 

“This is all I am. Just violence. ‘M too big for anything else.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and pull his head into your chest. Jason hugs you back. His shoulders begin to shake. 

“You’re more than your body,” you say. “You’re more than what the Pit made you. What you were.”

He shakes and cries into your neck. “I was small. People loved me when I was small.”

You pick up his head. Jason’s eyes are thick with tears. You lean in and kiss his Cupid’s bow.

“I love you.” You brush away his tears with your lips. “I love you so much, Jay. That’ll never change.”

“Too big for it,” he rasps.

You shake your head. “No, Jaybird. You’re never too big to be loved.”

“I’m s-scary.”

You kiss his temple, rub between his shoulder blades. Jason clings tighter.

“You don’t scare me. You never have.”

He pulls you closer, so you’re chest-to-chest. You straddle his stomach with your legs and hug Jason as tightly as you can. 

“I was good when I was small,” he says. “I don’t–I don’t know how to be good anymore. I wanna be good, I do. I don’t want Bruce to think I’m bad. I’m still good.”

You take a deep, shuddering breath. “Oh, Jay. Baby. You are good. You came back to make a change. You’ve always been good. You’ve got a good heart. Nothing’s going to change that. Bruce is stubborn and stuck in his head. But you’ll always be his son. And you’ll always have people who love you.”

“What if I’m not worth it?” he whispers. “What if I’m too lost?”

“Then I’ll go out and find you. And we’ll come home together,” you say. “You’ll always find your way back home.”

He smells like soap and Epsom salts. You kiss his autopsy scar. Jason shakes more. 

“Let me wash your hair, baby,” you say.

He nods, tears on his lashes. You wet his hair and pour shampoo. You rest your lips on his cheek as you lather the shampoo, detangling tiny knots with your fingers. Jason bends at the waist so you can rinse off the soap with the faucet.

You tap his hip and Jason sits up. He slips his arms around you again and tucks his chin into your neck.

“Don’t let go,” he says, suddenly desperate. “Don’t–don’t let me go.”

“I won’t, Jay. I’m right here.”

Low-Rise Melancholy

—

Time written- 11:33 p.m (Pt.2)

Jason Todd/fem!reader angst

—

You found him curled up in bed, unmoving for quite some time.

He arrived home, but said nothing. He shuffled out of uniform, carelessly abandoning piece by piece of his gear on various surfaces, carelessly draping his jacket over the closest chair.

He had enough mind to at least settle his utility belt and weapons on the desk in your shared bedroom before shuffling to bed, climbing into the mattress with so much as a slow, heavy exhale.

You had witnessed this since the moment he came home, feeling the tension shroud your shoulders before he even as entered through the door. Along with his angry episodes, which he kept out of your way around ninety percent of the time, every once in a while, you’d be witness to a violent slip up.

You followed behind the giant man like a scared puppy, stopping at the bedroom doorway just in time for him to turn on his side, his back now facing you.

He hasn’t moved for a fair hour, rendering you nervous rather than relieved he wasn’t angry. An hour full of checking up on him, wondering if he was ready to eat or talk. Anything.

He said nothing, as per usual, but answered your concerned question via raising his arm out, extending his hand out with an open palm. Would you like me to stay with you?

You settle your arms around him from behind as best you could once you slip into bed, enjoying the warmth that radiated off his back when you held him.

Just like before, Jason said nothing, broad shoulders rising and falling as his heavy lidded gaze nearly caged his eyes behind long lashes, vision long since unfocused after hours of reckless thoughts and dangerous intentions he’s always battled with after patrol.

His eyes close fully, a short, defeated exhale leaving his nose. Still, he doesn’t move, not even when he feels your soft, small hands cradle along his sides, caressing him in a largely limited embrace.

You’re always worried when he gets like this, but your options in soothing his pain were limited.

Your vigilante, your hero, your Red Hood, who refused to acknowledge your presence. Never intentionally.

You wanted nothing more than the man who stole your heart and gave it back but promised to hold it.

Jason Todd; your boyfriend, your big, red cuddly bear, your gentle giant sweetheart.

You wanted to be a strong shoulder for him to cry on, but in this case, you blamed your tensed up morning shortly followed by a series of severely unlucky events.

A short tremor of his shoulders caught you by surprise, making your head raise in question after settling behind Jason for nearly eight minutes. After a moment of waiting, to your dismay, you hear a small shudder from the exhausted man you held in your arms.

It broke your heart once you pinpointed those signs all together, realizing what Jason had been doing this entire time since he arrived home.

A ball of tension grew hotter in your throat, your eyes flushed so full with tears.

His teary, glistening eyes opened upon hearing your tiny hiccup, his head shifting up from its concave perch along your pillow to meet your gaze. His own heart ripped into two at the pitiful little attempt to stop yourself from crying, but you couldn’t help it.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimper, small fingers involuntarily clasping along the hem of his grey shirt for a second or two.

When Jason approached the border of tears, his mouth didn’t curl with a strong lip quiver. Instead, his brows furrowed, his eyes nearly squinting in a pitiful attempt to make the tears halt and retreat.

All will to fight left him once he got home, himself included.

Now, all that flooded his heart was an overwhelming, bitter guilt, forcing him out of his melancholy to register the woman who’s bed he laid on for nearly two hours.

He shifts completely, encasing you in his warm, heavy arms, stroking back wisps of stray hair to peer down at you with worried, furrowed expression.

Were you scared? Were you scared of him getting angry and violent? Images of your terrified face after such an episode were burned into his mind, and a face full of tears was at the top of that crude list.

“No, no,” Jason insists as he puts up a battle once more, fighting back what tears he could. “Don’t say you’re sorry. Don’t.. I— Shit, I didn’t mean to—“

His voice fails, his tone trembling in seconds. His own attempt at rebuilding his crumbled walls failed, leaving cascades of fluttery dust over piles of pebbles.

“M’sorry,” Jason mutters to you, sniffling noses brushing against each other. “Didn’t mean to make you sad. Don’t.. Don’t cry, babygirl. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either,” your whimpering tone persists, feeling his fingers cradle the back of your head, smoothing down your hair while yours cling to his shirt collar, insisting that you could handle his pain, shoulder it with him.

His mood swings were never his fault. His death was never his fault. His moments where he shut down entirely, leaving you completely powerless to aid him from the shadows, any of it, all of it, wasn’t his pain to shoulder in general.

You wished you could take it all away, but you believed you could only do so much.

“I don’t know how to help you,” you tremble as you admit to him, watching his brows curl downwards in further distress to your confession, your eyes glassy with grief bordering on defeat.

“I want to help you, Jason. I do. Please, tell me how.”

You only knew what he shared with you in the past, so you understood enough. His complications with himself, the curse of hyper individualism rendering him towards a plethora of self doubt, no matter how much he wanted to defy it. He just didn’t know how.

You wanted to be strong for him, but feared you weren’t as tough as you wanted to be.

Jason didn’t want strong, even though he knew you were. he wanted permanence, superglued stability on both of your behalf.

His hand cradled your head against his shoulder, taking in the sweetness of your hair, the warmth of your body dressed in one of his loose fitting shirts, curtesy of you stealing his clothes every evening.

The echo of your heartbeat keeping you alive long enough for you to adore him, to cherish him, to love him like no other he had ever felt before. This returns him towards his quiet tears, but unlike before, he allows himself the freedom to express himself more.

Grief included.

“You just being here… helps, okay?” Jason whispers, cradling your face in his warm palm. “That’s it. That’s all you need to do. Just… don’t leave. Please.”

Please, don’t leave me alone.

Your fingers instantly trail up towards his cheeks, catching his tears in the cradle of your palms. For a moment, your guilty, defeated expression shifted towards one he recognized instantly.

Strong, filled with a temporary determination he recognized many times before when you refused to give up. You refused to give him up.

Those were the eyes he fell in love with, belonging to the woman who desired to help him. His sore heart ached at your persistence, craving that just as much as your eagerly awaiting love.

His shoulders shake, his breathing grows raggedy, shortly cut and uneven. A few of his tears caught along the strands of your hair, the rest seeping down onto the very same pillowcase that harbored most of tonight’s anger and frustration.

His head settled against your chest, relying on your strong heartbeat to keep him submerged in pure sleep. His heavily scarred hands remained stagnant around your waist, thumbs lightly swirling along bare skin while yours settled to comb through his inky, tussled locks.

For the next hour or so, you held one another, cradling each other as the tears long since run dry, leaving two tender bodies submerged in a thin veil of slumber.

Crying together was the last thing on both of your minds tonight, but it’s the most Jason had ever felt accidentally understood, especially now as he refuses to let go of his anchor.

Seen, heard, recognized, loved.

Alive.

Gorgeous (Jason Todd x reader)

A/N: Wrote this, forgot to post:( Decided to make something where Jason gets praised by the reader for a change. This made me so soft (＾ν＾) Anyways, as always, enjoy!

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort, angst

Word count: 1,446

Summary: Reader comforts Jason after an insult gets to him.

—————————————————————————

Police sirens and gunshots rang from outdoors, drifting in through the window you had long forgotten to close. Heaving out a sigh, you shifted in your seat, opting on resting from the book you were reading. For the past hour you had been sitting with your legs crossed, on the couch.

Jason sat across from you, legs spread apart, all his attention directed on the desk in which he had placed a few of his gadgets on. He had just arrived a few minutes ago, murmuring something about wanting to be alone and clean his guns as they had been long overdo.

You allowed him to do his own thing, worried you might set him off if you didn’t let him deal with his emotions. Although you wanted to help and comfort him, you knew it would be no use. Not with what had occurred earlier in the week.

The cold and distant behavior your boyfriend displayed, all happened because of what a woman called him.

A monster.

Typically, Jason wasn’t one to ever care about what anyone thought of him, but, what she said really got to him, especially because the two children she had with her began spewing similar insults after watching him kill the man who had been previously robbing her.

After you found out, you rushed to his side, offering any form of comfort you could muster, but, in the end, all he told you was that he’d be fine and that he just wanted time to himself.

And so, you left him to it.

But now, you regretted it.

Sitting up, you frowned, perching an elbow on the armrest before sadly leaning your chin down on your palm. Closing your eyes for a brief second, you opened them back up to find your attractive boyfriend directly in your line of sight. From there on, you couldn’t help but watch him and smile unconsciously at the small stray hairs that tumbled over his dark, full brows,

“I can feel you staring at me”, he spoke absent mindedly, voice husky from having not been used in the past hour. Although he was clearly talking to you, he never shot you a glance, keeping his pointed gaze down as he never ceased on his actions of reloading bullets into his guns. You unconsciously blushed at the notion of being caught before releasing a weak chuckle. Even after being detected, you continued eyeing your attractive boyfriend, noting the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration,

“Can’t I quietly admire my handsome boyfriend?”, Jason snorted at that, shaking his head in denial. Walking over to him, you placed a gentle hand on his tense arm, emotions stable with comfort and caution, “Jay”, you began, smoothing your way over to him, “I know you’re busy right now, but, can you please spare a little break with me? We need to talk. You can’t just brush off what happened like it’s nothing. I want to help you.”

He took a moment, cleaning off the last smudge on his gun before heaving out a sigh in what felt like submission,

“Fine”, he grunted, voice low and wavery than previously noted. Just as he stood up from his seat, you grabbed his hand, Interwinging your fingers in a loving fashion. Raven hair smothered over his eyes as he tilted his head, almost as if to avoid looking up at you. Your heart dropped at the sight. Not only because he was clearly upset, but, he didn’t want you to notice. Even so, you tugged Jason over to your shared bed before crawling over to the center and getting accustomed first,

“C’mere” , you patted the space beside you on the mattress, ready to embrace that big bulky figure you so much adored. He gave another hefty sigh before complying, interest etching onto his face as you turned over on top of him, laying down just enough for your chin to touch his chest and your hands to cup his face. His hands hesitatably hovered over your torso before gently closing in and brushing over the dip of your waist and trailing to your hips. You gave him a beautiful smile, eyes twinkling when they met with his. For a split moment, you stayed that way, content in each other’s embrace,

“You’re handsome”, you whispered, eyes tracing over the little freckles he had here and there. “Trust me, I know”, he mumbled, a void of humor present in his voice. Automatically your smile dimmed to a grim line. You would’ve beamed at that, had it not been for the fact that he really seemed not to believe in your words or even be into the conversation, “No Jason,” you grabbed his chin firmly, directing his eyes onto yours,

“Im serious. You’re so handsome, my love”, you kissed his lips, fingers gently whisping over his lightly tanned, scarred cheeks and freshly shaved jaw, “Your eyes are so beautiful, babe”, you bopped his nose gently, chuckling at the way his icy blue eyes slightly crinkled in distain as he furrowed his brows before looking down in admiration and longing,

“Who you are, is also so beautiful”, as soon as you confirmed those words, he pulled out of your hands, turning his head to face away from your loving embrace,

“You really think so huh?” You narrowed your eyes, lips twisting in a sad frown,

“Hell yea, why would I not?”,

“Because I’m a flawed, (y/n). I’m a fuckin monster.”

His voice cracked as he looked down at you, his watery eyes crimson rimmed with a spark of a broken boy within. Your heart instantly snapped in half, true blue taking over your emotions. Not only was it upsetting to hear him say something like that but, it was infuriating that someone would even cause something like that to cross his mind,

“Jason”, you cooed, voice full of emotion,

“Jason, look at me”, grabbing his chin, you forced him into your line of sight, fingers slightly brushing over the slight stubble of his jaw, “You’re not a monster baby”, he stared at you for a second, a faint glow lighting his eyes as you continued,

“Not to me. Not to anyone you know.”

He sighed deeply, shaking his head in distain as his eyes continued to water,

“No, (Y/n). That woman was right. And the kids, what they said,-“

“What they said, was nothing but bullshit.”, you cutted in with words so firmly, Jason failed to bat an eye at how serious you grew. Letting out a soft breath, you curled into the crook of his neck, hands gradually trailing over his chest,

“They judged you on one simple action, but they don’t understand at all.” you closed your eyes, feeling his fast breaths gradually lessen as he calmed down,

“They were focusing on the fact that you shot someone rather than focusing on the fact that you did it just to save them. And under that exact circumstance, they had no right to say that to you when they don’t know you and they don’t know how capable you are of amazing, wonderful things.” Turning in his embrace, you braced yourself with your arms, leaning up to place a soft kiss on his forehead,

“You’re no monster to me, Jason. You’re a hero. And even if you were one, It would never change the way I feel for you. So don’t you dare think for a second you’re not amazing because you are, okay?”, you reassured gently, placing another kiss on the crook of his neck. He nodded weakly, giving you another shy look when you spoke up,

“You’re flawed. But to me, that makes you perfect.”

Just before he could open his mouth and reply, you moved down to his torso, lips teasing and hovering over the crook of his neck before delving down to nip at the sweet spot. You automatically earned a husky groan from the action, forcing a smile up on your face as you moved lower and lower, continuously pecking the scars and bruises across his muscular chest, “You’re gorgeous” You moved down to his waist, hands trailing over the hard prominent abs on his strong abdomen, “I don’t want you to think for a second that you’re not”, pausing at his lower torso, you leaned down, wrapping your arms around his waist as you nuzzled your head on his tummy, legs intertwining with his own, “always remember that”, Jason sighed softly, absentmindedly nodding his head as a smile gradually etched onto his face, “I’ll try. I’ll try my best.” He looked down at you, beaming when he noticed the sweet look you sent him,

“Thank you, doll”

You felt tired, exhausted, because that kept happening. Jason never showed his emotions no matter how much you said you loved him, that you were there for him, that you would understand him, that you tried hard for that at least.

It wasn't that simple for Jason, not for someone like him who felt like he didn't deserve that feeling (love). Seeing families smiling, houses being perfect. He couldn't believe that something so magical and pure could be his.

You were so perfect, so perfect that he didn't think he deserved you. He would catch himself in the middle of the night looking at the goat discreetly seeing his wonderful woman lying in bed in the middle of the night. "Oh God...how I love her..." he would say so quietly that not even he could hear.

But when you were here, looking at him saying how hurt you were because he didn't show you how he felt... he felt panic, his heart was beating desperately. How could his... his... his beloved leave him? He couldn't. He couldn't.

"Look... I'm sorry but I-" You tried to continue but what you heard made you stop... were those? sobs?, looking at Jason you saw him crying. Kneeling at his feet. That six-foot-tall man was crying at his feet. He looked so broken that his chest immediately twisted.

"Please choose me. Nobody ever chooses me. Please.." he said as he sobbed, his chest felt crushed so hard that he didn't know how to describe it, knowing that his beloved, the love of his life was leaving him was like losing his breath.

"Please, please, I...I love you, I know I'm hard to deal with, I have my crises, I'm terrible at showing affection, but please, stay, please love me. I would hate to lose you."

You held him in your arms, so tightly that he felt safe that night. You felt that this time he would know that someone would be there with him. Forever.

😭- oh my god I just cried over this.

I will be doing the asks, yes, I will, but I wanted to do this so much

@blu3n - my authorship

angel of small death | jason todd

Summary: You can't remember what it was like to be human. Until Jason returns. Now, he's the only thing tethering you to this world. And you won't let anything happen to him.

Pairing: Jason Todd x shadow monster!gn!reader

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings/tags: monster!reader, canon-typical violence, codependency, reader attacks Batman, reader accidentally hurts Jason, stalking, suicidal thoughts, crying, hurt/comfort, somewhat happy ending.

A/N: I wrote this in a day so if there are any grammar mistakes please feel free to lmk!

the divider

You feel it when Jason returns. 

No one else seems to. The Bat (his… family?) doesn’t sense anything is different, but you do. 

And just as quickly as you feel him, he’s lost. His grave is empty. You scour Gotham for him, his body, anything. But he’s gone. Stolen. 

If you were more powerful, free from this wretched body, you would find him. Hunt down whoever took him, then bring him back to Gotham, so he might rest. 

For a short day, your limbs had felt like flesh. The void that is your mouth had smiled. You were human again. 

Jason is lost. You scream in mourning. 

He’s back. 

You’re awake.

“Go through the side!”

Hood’s men scramble to obey, armed and ready. They’ve planned this ambush for three and a half weeks. Black Mask made himself scarce after Hood made it clear he wouldn’t leave him alone. You watched in pride and worry as Jason threw himself into his revenge. 

He’s stronger than in your memory. He’s big, bigger than most opponents. Bigger than the Bat. He’s good with a weapon. Good in combat. Scarred all over. Brutal. 

But he’s angry and hurt, and he’s human. He may have the Pit inside of him, but he is no monster. You would know.

The Bat is hunting him. You will tear him apart, if necessary. You will tear apart anyone who hurts Jason. 

You slip through the shadows, letting your limbs stretch as long as they can. They make awful shrieking noises when you stretch too far, and it makes the men below nervous. 

One of Jason’s men looks right at you. You look back. He gasps and runs back to the van.

These men are loyal but they’re nowhere near strong enough to protect Jason. You’d prefer to eat them all, but Jason seems to trust them. So you gut a lackey in a clown mask and silently remain on the highest balcony across the street from Black Mask’s lair.

Once, you permitted yourself to watch Jason in his apartment, in his bed, while he slept. He cried through a nightmare. You tried to chase the nightmare away, but you’d only made it worse. He awakened, sweating and gasping, and screamed as soon as he saw you.

You haven’t revealed yourself since. 

You are lonely. You want to die. You’ve wanted to die for a long time. 

But you won’t. Not before you see Jason home safe.

Automatic gunfire echoes from the lair. You rush to the unlit side of the building. You peer in through the window. 

It’s mostly Black Mask’s men on the floor, bleeding. You slip inside to eat the death. 

“The fuck is that?!”

You look up just as three bullets pass through you. You scowl at the offending gunman, who drops his gun and runs. Rude. 

You wouldn’t normally enter like this, make your presence so obvious. If someone were looking for you, they could easily track you after tonight.

But nothing matters except Jason. 

There’s shouting outside. You soar to the ceiling and through the skylight. 

“Shit, shit, fuck! Boss! Boss, you alright?”

“Shut the fuck up, Garett,” Jason says, helmeted head lolling against the brick. Three of his men crowd him.

You speed to the shadow, carefully avoiding the light casted by the overhead streetlight. You’ve stepped in one before and the fluorescent lights sting.

Jason is bleeding from his gut, where his armor separates to allow movement. 

You creep closer. If you still had a heart, it would beat fast. You remember how it felt. You don’t feel fear often these days, but now you know for sure that it was never gone.

You scream.

The streetlight shatters. Jason and his men cover their ears, shouting in pain. His men start to bleed from their ears. It doesn’t take much for you to strike them down, knock them into a fitful slumber.

“Who’s there?”

Jason immediately pulls out his gun, despite his injury. You try to stay on his side, so he won’t have to see your yellow, bottomless eyes. You’d close your eyes if you weren’t so afraid of hurting Jason further.

“I ain’t scared of you!” he says, and you’d be inclined to believe him if your teeth weren’t peeking out at the scent of his fear.

You swallow and focus on his injury. You stretch your fingers to two thin points. Then you reach into his stomach and pull out the bullet.

Jason yells in pain and fires. You ignore it and keep going. 

“Sssssss-sssor–ry,” you rasp.

Jason turns his head and looks right at you. He panics, trying to squirm away. You quickly hold him down so your fingers won’t rip through his intestine.

“Let go a’me! Let go!” 

He fires until the cartridge is empty. You are crying. 

“Sss-sssor-sssorry.” Then you sear Jason’s wound closed. 

That’s when he passes out, the pain overwhelming him. Black tears run down your face and join the dark. 

As soon as the wound is cauterized, you slink to the darkest corner of the city, inside an abandoned warehouse. 

You let yourself grow into your full form, showing your claws and exposed tendons and the hole in your chest.

Then you cry, cry, cry. The windows explode, the bricks become dust, and still, you cry into the rubble. You cry until morning.

You can’t stop.

You should. You’re fearsome and ugly and Jason is already entrenched in grief. You’ll only make him worse.

But after the ambush, you can’t rest. You have tried to return to the dirt, to where you had lain for so long. You swim to the bottom of the ocean and try to sleep with the creatures there. That doesn’t work either. 

So you follow Jason instead. You follow him every night on patrol. You snipe anyone who gets too close, intending to harm. Jason returns home with a full magazine, most nights. You know he should take care of his adversaries on his own to keep in practice, but you throw up iridescent black oil when you try to let go and not protect him. 

“I know you’re there.”

You’re crouched on an apartment’s fire escape two stories above. Jason has stopped. He’s been frozen for several minutes. 

You look around, trying to find who Jason sees. But the alley is empty. 

“I know…” Jason takes a shaky breath. “I know you’re there. I feel ya watchin’ me.”

Then he takes off his helmet and tosses it aside. He takes off his holsters and removes his knives and tasers and drops those next to his helmet.

You crawl on all fours down the apartment building, claws scraping the brick. You can smell his fear from here. 

You rattle a loose screw at the end of your climb. Jason turns in your direction. He gasps, eyes wide. 

You freeze. Neither of you move for a long minute.

“You’ve been followin’ me,” he says. 

You nod. You’re not sure if he can see you in the dark.

“Who—what are you?”

You crawl closer. Jason wants to move away, you can tell, but he doesn’t.

On your hands, you come up to his head. You wish you could make yourself smaller.

Jason swallows hard, chest rising and falling quickly.

You’re not good at speaking. You used to be. Used to have all the words. Now they’re gone. Your tongue is too big for your mouth.

“I feel… shit, I feel like I know ya,” he says. “You know me?”

“Rrrrrrrob–rrobiiii—robiiiiin.”

He inhales sharply. “Yeah. You knew me then?”

You reach for him. Careful. So careful. You use the blunt side of your claw to touch Jason’s scarred cheek. He’s so warm. So full of light. 

He steps back. Your hand falls. 

You start to cry. You can’t help it. 

Your claws dig into the pavement, tearing through asphalt. 

“Waaaan–wantttttt. Tttt. Jaaaayy. WAN—TTTT. WA—JAY. WANNN—”

You try to speak softly, but it comes out like a shriek. Jason grunts in pain, covering his ears. Red seeps through his fingers. 

You stumble backwards at the sight. You must go. You must try again and see if the ocean will take you.

“Wait! Wait, wait!”

Jason runs around, holding up his hands in front of you. You stop, black tears pooling into a puddle at his feet.

“It’s okay. It’s alright. I know you.”

You want to speak but you’ll hurt him if you do. So you cry in silence. Jason waits.

“‘S okay,” he says again. “You didn’t do it on purpose. Shh, shh. Don’t cry.”

His fear is lessened. Not gone, but not grown. 

“Hey,” he says softly. “Hey, honey.”

The tears keep falling. Jason keeps waiting. 

“‘Course I remember ya,” he says, and pets you where your cheek should be. “How could I forget you?”

You moan quietly. It doesn’t hurt Jason this time.

The night that the Bat finds Jason brings a thunderstorm with it.

You’ve followed Jason for weeks now. He’s no longer afraid when he catches glimpses of your endless mouth and shapeless eyes. Sometimes, on patrol, you get nervous. When you’re too close to people, to noise, you get restless. You want to run, but you can’t, because Jason will be alone. And so will you. 

Jason has begun to hum when you get nervous. You get closer when he does, looming over him, but he no longer smells like fear.

“Y’smell like peaches, y’know that?” he’d said a few weeks ago. 

You’d just pitched your head lower to show you were listening. 

“Yeah,” Jason had said. “Like peach pie. I was so confused the night you removed the bullet. Craved peach pie for days. Ain’t that the weirdest shit you’ve ever heard?”

Honestly, yes. After everything, that is definitely the weird part.

“Gooo—g-g…” You’d swallowed, frustrated. Jason had hummed.

“‘S okay,” he’d said. “‘M listening. Take your time.”

So you’d tried again. “G-good?” 

“Yeah, honey. Oh, yeah. So good. You’re so good.”

That hadn’t been what you meant. But you’d gotten the feeling Jason knew what you were asking and decided to answer another question anyway.

It’s pouring tonight. The rain doesn’t bother you, but if lightning starts, you may have to retire for tonight. 

That’s only in an extreme circumstance, however. For now, you’re right there with Jason. 

“Shit, ‘s really comin’ down, huh!” Jason shouts over the rain. 

He swings to a rooftop and almost slips on water. You rush to him, but he holds up a hand, laughing.

“‘M fine, ‘m fine. I gotta finish the southside. You can dip if you want.”

You don’t respond. Jason sighs.

“Alright, fine. C’mon.”

You’re two blocks into the southside when a dark blob lands in front of Jason. You stay hidden, eyes sharp. 

The blob is a man. The Bat. 

“Jason,” Batman says. Jason stiffens.

You feel a screech working its way out, but you stop it for Jason’s sake. You will intervene if he needs help.

Both of their fear levels have shot up. 

The Bat steps forward. “You lied to me, Jason. I can’t believe it’s you going around Gotham killing—”

“Oh, you can’t?” Jason spits. “You can’t believe your little bird that’s back from the dead is angry that no one fuckin’ cleaned up this city? The clown is still alive, Bruce!”

Thunder cracks the sky. You stay silent, keeping your grip on the side of the building light. You’d offered to kill the Joker for Jason. Ki–lllll clo–own? K–ill?

But Jason had told you no. Had said that it wasn’t your responsibility. So you’d refrained. 

The Bat is quiet for a moment. Then, “I’m sorry, Jason. I know you’re upset, but—”

“Fuck you. I don’t wanna hear your attempts at peacemaking. I’m not gonna stop no matter what you say.”

“Jason,” the Bat says. “You have to stop killing.”

“The only way I’m gonna stop is if you kill me.”

You scramble down as soon as you hear armor clash. A batarang strikes Jason’s chestplate. Jason’s increasingly aggressive, forcing the Bat to defend himself harder. 

Thunder strikes again. Jason knows all of the Bat’s weak points. And while the Bat is distracted, it doesn’t stop him from fighting well.

The moment the Bat draws blood, you stalk out of hiding and howl.

Three streetlights explode as you grow to your full, terrifying size. Both the Bat and Jason cover their ears. You slam the Bat down on the ground, claws shredding his cape and suit. You’re furious. You will kill.

One of your claws punctures the Bat’s thigh. He shouts in pain. You’ll tear him apart for making Jason bleed.

Rain beats down on you. You heave over the Bat, shaking with fury. 

“Stop! Fuck, fuck. Stop it!”

Jason pulls at your arm, which is nearly the size of his entire body. His helmet is cracked, his exposed eye bloodshot. That rekindles your anger, but Jason quickly intercepts. 

“Stop, please. It’s okay. I’m okay. Don’t kill him, please. Don’t kill.”

“Miiiiii—m—miiii-ine. Mine.”

Jason nods. He pulls off his helmet and tosses it. 

“Yeah, yeah, I am. I’m yours. He’s not gonna take me away from ya. He wouldn’t kill me.”

The Bat coughs, spitting blood. “N-never.”

"Mine," you say, tremulous, blood under your claws. "My Robin."

Jason shakes you. "Yours. I'm yours. C’mon, peach. C’mon, love.”

It would be so easy to end it now. End you and the Bat. And you would do it if you didn’t think it would end Jason too.

His fear is high. You pull your claw out of the Bat, who groans. You let Jason lead you away. He holds your darkness.

“Scaaaar—sc-ared. Scare-d?”

“Yeah,” Jason admits. “Little bit.”

You close your eyes. “Ba-ad.”

“No, honey. You’re not bad. You’re scared.”

You dig your claws into the roof, cracking the concrete. You let yourself shrink, so Jason can wrap his arms around your neck. You don’t trust yourself enough to touch him back. 

He’s crying. Jason is crying.

You pull back a little, so you can see his face. 

“Cr-y,” you say, feeling like weeping yourself. “Cry cr-y c-ry.”

You want to say so much more, but you can’t. Your words are gone. You know Jason doesn’t judge you for that, but you need to tell him. Tell him how you feel.

You lick Jason’s cheeks. They taste like salt and rainwater. You lick more. Lick until he stops crying.

“Son,” the Bat says behind you. 

“‘S okay, B,” Jason says. 

Rain drips down his face and suit. He’s beginning to shiver. You try to shield him as best as you can. 

“We’re okay,” Jason says, this time just to you.

“Sc-scaare—”

“No, no. Hey, peach. ‘M not scared. Y’hear me?”

You slowly drape your arms over Jason’s back. He strokes your wrist that droops and stretches unnaturally. 

“Yeah. You know me. I’ve never been afraid of the dark.”

I know we all talk about Jason finding out Dick killed the Joker from Tim or one of the other batfam members, but what if:

One day he’s searching for blackmail material on a member just for fun and knows Damian keeps a list of all of them so he backs into the files and realised the folder with the heaviest inscription to unlock is one labelled “Contingencies”.

He opens it to find every single person in their family is on there and starts surfing through them. When he sees Tim’s he freezes, mentally filing away some horrific details for checking up on him later, Jason’s list is impressive but not much he didn’t expect…still concerned how he got the evidence though.

His fingers hesitate over Batman’s, and after thinking screw it what the hell clicks on it just to realise most of them are psychological, and had to do with Jason. One video showed Bruce as Jason remembered him from his robin days. He was pacing furiously in the Manor, tugging on his pocket square which for him was a high level of distress, before he went upstairs - to Jason’s room when he stayed there - and looked in. The change was sudden, Bruce’s shoulders sagged and his face grew into one of fondness, one he’d rarely seen before.

“I cant help it Alfred.. Scarecrow’s toxin.. I KNOW it isn’t real but.. I can’t stop thinking about it. What if -“ and Jason can’t really believe his ears, that was a fucking quiver in his voice- “What if one day it comes true?” “What was your worst fear Master Bruce?”.

“Jason..” and Jason flinches. “I.. I saw him die, and I was powerless. I cant lose him Alfred. I just cant.”

The recording ends, and it takes a while for Jason to realise he can’t breathe. He sends the file to himself and laughs bitterly, remembering what the fear toxin had shown him. Lucifer. It had shown him falling from Bruce’s grace, being his greatest disappointment. “Guess we both failed each other didnt we old man?”

After what feels like forever, when he can feel his fingers stop shaking his eyes drift over to Dicks.

Damian sure does adore him, wonder what the brats got in store for him.

Most of them were things he was sure Dick could handle, until a glitched file appeared which read “for EXTREME situations only.”

When he heard Joker laugh, Jason could’ve sworn he was in the cave. “Hello there old friend! Aww why the long face?”

Dick wasn’t facing the camera, but the sheer aura of destruction radiating off of him was enough for Jason to know Joker was in danger. Judging by his outfit and well- hair- this must’ve been years ago.

“Didn’t you like my..ah.. gift? It was quite the blast I hear!”

Dicks fists clenched. His usual smile was gone, replaced by a hatred so vile it could’ve rivalled batman’s glare. It was so odd.. seeing him so pissed.

“Well that’s what happens.. when birds get hit. They never see what’s right in front of them and then BAM!”

As his laughter rang out Jason heard Dick whisper something. It was so soft, quieter than he’d ever heard him and he found himself leaning forward.

“What’s that? How long he lasted? Well I counted everytime he screamed when I broke his bones so-“

“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!”

Jason stumbled back, nearly falling to the floor himself. Dicks voice was thundering, echoing across the cave.

What the hell had happened? Why was Dick so mad? Why wasn’t he smiling?

“You..killed him.”

And that’s when it hit Jason. Oh. This was after he’d died.

The joker was trying to say something, but Jason couldn’t hear him. All he could focus on was how Dick was behaving, how he was walking upto Joker. Jason had seen that before.

The intent to kill.

SLAM

The fight was brutal, and blood flew everywhere, mixed with the laughter and cries of the Joker while Dick yelled, YELLED so loudly he could’ve sworn the cave was shaking before the sound of a wet snap ricocheted and Dick went limp.

No.. no no no no.

He watched in horror as Dick stood up, drenched in blood and heaving. Dick had gone- no BEATEN- the joker for Jason.

But the longer he looked, the more he felt the Lazarus pit burning inside him.

The joker wasn’t moving.

Dick walked away, and in the shadows, with bloody fists and face of hatred could not see him as the Dick he knew.

“Dead.”

He looked up to hear Dick whisper to the thundering sky outside.

“I killed him Jason. The joker is dead. Rest in peace little wing.”

Jason’s feet gave out under him, and he crashed to the ground gasping for breath.

Never in his wildest dreams had he thought he had been avenged.

Never did he even think that Dick had only killed once… and only for him.

Do you think theres a memorial to the second Robin in Crime Alley? I like to think that even if the rest of Gotham didn't know where he came from that Crime Alley knew he was one of theirs.

Do you think they were devastated when it came out he was dead? I don't think it would be a official memorial or anything. When it was announced he was dead people started putting candles/cards/stuffed animals/food out on their roof tops in honor of him.

Maybe a few weeks later someone graffitied a mural somewhere up high in his honor. They did it in the middle of the night. After that people started to leave things there.

Theres no official care taker for the memorial. Everyone helps out. People who leave stuff take care to clean up any trash left around. Theres a few people who make sure theres always at least one candle lit.

One day its vandalized. Robin may have been one of them but its Crime Alley and he made life difficult for criminals. Maybe someone he put in jail got angry and vandalized it. The people fix it. There no call to action they just see it and take it upon themselves to restore it.

Do you think Jason sees it when he comes back as Red Hood? I think he found it in his first two weeks back in Gotham. He wasn't big yet. He was still taking control. He stumbles upon it on accident. He's not expecting it. He's grateful no ones around because he breaks down. The enormity of everything that happened to him hits him like a brick and suddenly he's on his knees sobbing.

Maybe once he's taken over and the people trust him he'll ask about it. He'll ask why they care about the second Robin. Why do you take care of the memorial so intensely? They tell him. They tell him they know the second Robin was one of them. They tell him how much hope he brought to the people that had none. Do you think he realizes how much he meant to these people?

Maybe someone connects the dots. They don't know who he is but they see how fiercely protective the Red Hood is of the alley and they remember the boy in bright colors and an even brighter smile. They look at this angry broken man trying so hard to do good and see the boy who died too soon.

The next day a mural of Red Hood pops up across from the Robin Memorial.

I'll do anything for you

(A female Jason Todd fanfic)

Jayla knew what the other vigilantes thought of her. In their eyes, she was nothing but a reckless, impulsive, murderer who they only kept around because she was a valuable ally.

A valuable soldier.

And even though it hurts her to know that her family will never love her unless she quits her current lifestyle, she’ll do anything for them. No matter the price.

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Ao3 // Wattpad

next

The Price You Have To Pay

Lex Luthor was a man with many enemies. And because of that, his private office was a highly secured facility.

You’d have to pass dozens of security protocols before you could even step foot in the building.

But considering the fact that his security team caught a little bird with his wannabe team of superheroes sneaking around, he suspected that he would be getting a visitor soon.

A hot vigilante with dark hair that also contained a stubborn streak of white, perhaps.

He could hear small footsteps getting louder.

Lex leaned forward just as the door swung open. Red Hood walked in like she owned the place.

He eyed her up and down, trying to hide the smirk that was beginning to form as he felt the tension between them steadily rise.

“You know that ignoring the dress code isn’t really a good way to start our negotiations.” Lex drawled, impatiently tapping his fingers against his desk.

Red removed her helmet before raising a perfectly arched eyebrow, “I wasn’t about to walk into your building half-naked.”

“Good thing that no one’s here to see you then.”

Red’s plump lips formed a pretty scowl, “Lex.”

“Hood.”

Lex didn’t know how long they stared at each other before Red gave in, shutting her eyes as she allowed a seductive smile to grace upon her face.

This time, Lex couldn’t hold back his grin. “You know what to do.”

She didn’t protest as she slowly took off her clothes, leaving her with only a pair of matching dark red lingerie.

No matter how many times he saw her like this, Lex still felt like he forgot how to breathe.

The heroes might hate her, but even they won’t be able to deny the fact that her beauty is unmatched. One could even go as far and say that her looks pass Wonder Woman's.

She was absolutely breathtaking.

“Are you done staring at me?” The amusement laced in her voice brought him out of his trance.

A predatory glint appeared in his eyes, “For now.”

Red leaned forward. “What do you want, Lex?” Her voice was soft as her lip curled upwards.

Without even thinking, he grabbed her hips. Dragging her entire body towards the older man so that she was straddling him. “Now we can talk.”

Even though her domino mask was still on, Lex knew her well enough to know that she was rolling her eyes. “Perv,” she couldn’t help but laugh out as she shifted to a more comfortable position.

“I’m more of an opportunist than a pervert, darling. I mean, no one with a brain could ever resist this sight?” He slapped her ass before giving her a mocking smile. “One day, I’m going to wreck your body with all the other suitors you have until the only thing you’ll remember is how good it feels to be under our control.”

The vigilante let out a surprised breath of air, “As fun as that sounds, it probably won’t happen.” He felt her calloused, yet still, somehow soft fingers trail over his chest, “Considering my expertise, you should know how expensive I can be.”

He squeezed her ass, “Then I guess it’s a good thing that we’re some of the richest people in the world.”

She ignored his last remark, “What do you want, Lex.”

“Come on, Red.” he groaned in annoyance, “It was just starting to become fun.”

She shot him an irritated look, “Sorry,” she said, not sounding apologetic at all, “But I’m in a bit of a time crunch right now.”

Lex sighed, for once letting it go. He knows how much of a rough time she’s been having with her other coworkers.

He swears that superheroes are never satisfied.

“What do you want,” she repeated. This time, he could hear a bit of impatience leaking in her voice.

“This one shouldn’t be as difficult as the other agreements we’ve had over the past few months,”

“Just say it,” Red interrupted.

“In a few weeks, there’s going to be a convention in Dubai. And we all know how dangerous these meetings can be sometimes.”

“If by dangerous, do you mean boring?” Red’s voice cut in as rested her head on his shoulder. “You just need someone to entertain you.” she teasingly accused.

“You caught me.” he said dryly, “This convention is going to last at least a week, so prepare your excuse or something.”

Red leaned away from him, “Excuse for what? No one will even notice that I’m gone.” she waved off, “Unless there’s a mission that the bats can’t solve, of course. But even then, it barely ever happens, so I’ll be fine.”

For some reason, hearing those words come out of her mouth made his jaw clench. “Yet every time a hero is in a situation where they won’t be able to win, you still try your hardest to bargain for their life.” He scoffed, “Even though they can’t even bother to treat you decently.”

Red refused to meet his eyes as she clenched her fists. “It’s not their fault. You know that they can’t trust me after what I’ve done.”

“But you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I tried to kill-“

Lex let out a harsh laugh, “If you wanted to kill them, you would’ve.”

Red flushed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He raised an eyebrow as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Really? Cause I know about all the training you went through with the League of Assassins. You were holding back. You tried to keep the madness of the pit at bay.” she still refused to meet his gaze, her eyes stubbornly staying on the floor. “And because they’re all well- alive, you succeeded.”

Red shifted, her ass grinding against his cock. She leaned forward and he felt her lips brush against his neck, “Stop talking.” she softly muttered.

Lex gently pushed her away, he was not done talking about this subject. “Do they know?” he questioned. “Do they know that if you wanted them dead, they would be? Do they know-“

She gripped his shirt, “Stop.”

He ignored her, she needed to hear this. “With how badly they treat you, one would wonder why you go to such extreme lengths to help them. They don’t even care about you. They’re only-“

“Please.” Red’s voice wavered, filled with insecurity. Her hands were still tightly clenching onto his shirt. “Just- just stop.” she pleaded.

Lex froze, finally realizing just how much his words affected her. His face immediately softened. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. He just wanted to show her that they weren’t worth her time.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. He carefully lifted her chin so that his eyes would meet hers. “What I said was uncalled for. I should’ve phrased it better.”

She gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “It’s fine.” Lex didn’t know who she was trying to convince, him or her. “You aren’t exactly wrong.”

“No, it isn’t fine. I really am sorry, my little agnar.” He ignored how her whole face seemed to turn red at the nickname, “I shouldn’t have been so-“ he searched his head for the right word. “-inconsiderate about your feelings.”

Red only nodded, “Is there anything else you need for the release of my brother and his team?”

“I’ll also need you to pay for all the damage they caused,” he admitted.

“Again?” When he nodded, she only sighed and got off his lap. “Okay, I’ll send you the money soon.”

“Do try and get these heroes in line, Red. Some people have plans, and it’ll be so much easier to complete them when a group of teenagers playing superheroes aren’t around to mess it up.”

Red only gave him a smirk, her small breakdown already forgotten. “You know that I can’t do that. If you have any complaints, you can always report it to the Justice League.”

“As if they’d actually do something about it.”

Red laughed, “You aren’t wrong. They preach about saving the world, yet they ignore all the damages they’ve inflicted when they do just that.”

“Since you’re in a bit of a time crunch, I think I might just let you go now.” He licked his lips as he gave her body another attentive glance, “Just a warning though, our next meeting will probably be more intense than this one.”

She gave him a mischievous look, “Is that a promise?”

“You know it.”

She gave him a final smile before bending down to grab her clothes, then walking away as her hips slowly swayed from side to side.

She didn’t even bother to put them on.

Even though he could no longer see her face, he knew that she was smirking. The vigilante was aware of his body’s reaction towards hers.

Lex dropped onto his chair, moving to try and hide his erection before his eyes started drifting towards the office camera.

He couldn’t hold back a grin as a plan started to form in his head.

If there was one thing that Lex was sure of- it was that the bats were naturally suspicious. If the little bird and his team were suddenly free and were able to escape his building without much trouble, they would start to become skeptical.

He wasn’t known for being intelligent for nothing.

Lex would prove to Red that she deserved better.

She doesn’t owe those heroes anything.

Despite everything that she’s done for them, they still tore out the feathers of her damaged wings until she could no longer fly.

Lex could forget Superman for a while. This was a more crucial matter.

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Translation: agnar - warrior

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So what do you guys think? Should I continue this or should I just leave it here? Feel free to comment your thoughts, along with any criticism or suggestions you have. I love to read them!

for some reason, I have the strange urge to write an omega! Jason Todd fanfic

I just love thinking about jason x reader

Big bulky jason who has so much trauma and issues and needs and why would you even dedicate your entire life being patient and kind with him

But that same jason refuses to let u out the bed. The jason that will press Your feet after HE is the one who just went crime fighting

Jason who Hates being separated on his days off and will sit beneath the table between your legs hugging your waist with his on your thighs if you're doing work or meeting or studying

Jason who literally Hates work, vengeance, revenge, mafia stuff , crime fighting , saving the world ..basically anything that makes him spend time away from you.

Jason who prolly just leaves all this behind and genuinely works at processing his trauam . Becomes a literature teacher in a nice university. Settles down with you and have a normal life...give you the life you deserve

Not before saving up enough from mafia/batpay to give you the best luxury

Jason who just wants to stare at you , Hold you, get kisses from you forever

BYE BYE, MISS AMERICAN PIE || JASON TODD X WIFE!READER

master-list || CHAPTER 1: i always feel like…

summary: a life as a vigilante and someone who comes from a life full of surviving, pain, and death. everyone deserves to be happy. with jason, he got lucky. for the first time. and with that luck, he keeps it a secret. far from everybody.

pairing/mentions: jason todd x fem!reader, bruce wayne, dick grayson

warnings! - nothing but implied sex, paranoia, feeling like being watched.

author’s note: hi my loves! here is an mini series! i kind of wrote this as i was hungover too…hehe. i have so many ideas now so I’ll be updating the up coming works page! if you wanna be tagged let me know. enjoy~

next

how do you protect the people you love?

by keeping them as a secret.

well, according to JASON. he was a man, a man who had enough demons and monsters who want him dead. no one expect some people know who he is underneath that red helmet. but none of them know of his true secrets. ones he swore to never tell anybody else, not even his family. as much as he loves them, he just can’t risk losing someone he is madly in love with.

sometimes, it’s a cost. if he told anybody, the more dangerous he is.

a monster he thought he was until he met her. an angel. a bliss from heaven. a kiss of love and trust. his younger self would melt from the sight of her. anyone would.

everyone in his family know of his past flings, the unserious ones. as much he also appreciates his family that want him to have someone, he’s just fine doing so by himself. and all of them just stopped asking him later on.

not far from Gotham, just about an hour away is a quiet and small neighborhood. with trees in every lawn and lighten old streets light, families with a family dog and children. the nice and free parts of the damned city. a life to be finally happy. that neighborhood had a two story house, bought by jason about two years ago. he knew she just had to have it. memories they created over time. he really wants to see her. and where jason was you may ask…back in that very damned city.

jason sat on the bench of the gym in the batcave, sweat pouring from forehead as he wiped it away with a clean white towel. in his hands was his personal phone, he always kept it safe from anybody with a difficult password. sometimes he even forgets it himself.

the text message stared back at him and an attachment of a photo beams at him.

AMERICAN PIE

when you coming back?

1 attachment

jason lifted up his lips into a small smile, a photo of a huge black dog with it’s eyes closing sleeping onto of someone who wore a white top. he uses his thumb scratching the itch above his scarred eyebrow.

YOU

TONIGHT. DON’T WAIT UP FOR ME PLZ

AMERICAN PIE

why are you typing in all caps?

YOU

sorry. was texting dick a while ago and we had a disagreement.

AMERICAN PIE

…huh. okie. you want anything to eat for dinner?

2 attachment

his thumb pressed on the photos, his blue eyes analyze the precious pictures that was sent to him. this time the photo consisted of the same dog on it’s back, a goofy look as it stared at the camera. it was pressed up against it’s nose as the dog looked crossed eyed. the other photo was a mirror picture. what looked to be a woman posing with her phone covering her face, the dog sitting in between her legs as they both sat on the floor with makeup scattered around.

YOU

what you have in mind?

jason pressed ‘send’ before going into his camera roll, selecting two photos he previously took when he was working out. when he sent them, a word ‘read’ below that attachments.

AMERICAN PIE

we have some steak? maybe some mashed potatoes for dinner too? and that guava juice you like so much i can make.

dayum you look good handsome

he lets out a chuckle at her switch from suggesting what for dinner to straight compliments and heart emojis.

YOU

sounds good doll. thank you beautiful. I’m gonna get ready. see you soon.

AMERICAN PIE

okie. see you.

sighing, jason shuts his phone completely. it was a long few weeks with his family. a mission that consisted in his help and a few of his brothers and barbara. god, he was tired. as much as he loved gotham and visiting the homeless shelters, he was tired as an old dog.

reaching down next to him was his water bottle he took from the cabinets in the kitchen. uncapping the kid, he drank straight from the cold bottle. a soothing and freezing water runs down his throat and into his stomach. a few gulps he could hear from his ears. as he finished the entire thing, he pulled his water bottle away from him before letting out an ‘ahh’. a small burp heard.

“excuse you”, bruce walks in the gym room in some grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. “sorry”, he says nonchalantly. jason gets up and on his feet, standing up straight the height difference between son and father was quiet funny. the second oldest was almost taller than batman himself.

the towel wrapped in his hand makes it’s way to jason’s neck. once wet piece of skin now moist from some sweat. bruce sat down on the same bench jason was sitting on. ready to get a head start in some exercise for the night. “you headin out?”, bruce questions him.

and here comes the questions. jason turned his head slightly to his father, giving a curt nod. “yea, ill be leaving in a couple of minutes. got some work to do tonight”, he lies. praying his adoptive dad would just take the false information, instead bruce stared at him blankly. “what’s tonight?”, his father pushes more.

man, his dad was really up his ass about everything. you see, ever since him and bruce ‘sort of’ made up…bruce wants to fix their relationship. jason really loves bruce. but after that whole traumatic past years and the two fighting, it was hard. even though they have times when it feels normal again.

“oh star needs my help with her sister again, maybe needs me to go on her planet for a while”, jason lies straight through his teeth.

bruce looks at jason’s back, scars of torn skin ragged all over.

he knows he’s lying..cause bruce lies like it’s a high paying job. as much as he wants to continue his relationship with his son, he decides to back down. the guilt still sitting in his heart and stomach. bruce slowly nodded. “alright, let me know when you come back”, bruce says now getting up from the bench as it squeaked from the sudden weight lift.

jason nodded, his messy wet hair flopped a little. “will do, see ya bruce”, he excused himself away from the gym. leaving behind his father you gave him a longing look.

‘what secrets you’re hiding?’ bruce wonders.

the sun has gone down faster, jason finally showered and gotten himself ready. once he tied his shoe and shrugged on his black leather jacket on his broad shoulders. a sudden kick to the door opens to dick who has his arms crossed. jason curious as he stared at the golden boy. “hey dick, what’s up”, he greeted the blue clad hero.

“you’re going to see kori?”, dick goes straight to the point.

jason rolls his eyes, grabbing his duffle bag on his bed. it was stuffed to the max as it looked to be suffocating.

“yes dick, she is my friend. and an ex team member”

“don’t forget you kissed her”, dick grumble.

“oh here we go again. she kissed me you dick”, jason annoyingly says to him, duffle bag strap on his shoulder. already walking out the door and into the hallway. dick scoffs lightly, “is that supposed to make me feel better?”.

from the hallway to the white marble stairs, dick tailed behind jason. “no, im just saying. i already told you this, get over it dickie”, jason says continue his walking in a faster pace. he really just wants to leave.

dick stops in his tracks, his arms drop before dramatically going up in the air. “get over it? get over it?! you kidding me? I’ll have you know she is MY ex girlfriend”, he yells out offended by his little brothers words.

impatiently, jason practically runs to the front door where alfred stood waiting for him. in his white clad finger was jason’s motorcycle keys. the old butler raised an eyebrow at the two grown men, before handing jason his keys. “thanks alfie”, jason whispers. a firm nod the older man gave him before walking off to go back into the batcave.

and out the door he was.

his long legs jogged down the stairs, shoes hitting the pebbled floor. the sounds of a fountain springing water. by the stairs was jason’s favorite motorcycle. an 1969 honda cb750.

jay is a sucker for old designed motorcycles. he loves them.

hopping on his motorcycle with no helmet on, come on..he doesn’t. his starts the engine, turning his head to dick who stood on the top of the steps still with an offended expression. “sorry dick, but at least i don’t go hopping to one ex girlfriend to another”, jason says with a teasing smile before zooming off from the manor.

in the distance, he could hear dick yell out “I DO NOT HOP FROM ONE EX GIRLFRIEND TO ANOTHER”.

jason chuckled mischievously, his motorcycle zooms past the gate and down the hill out of the Wayne Manor.

an hour away from the city, jason could feel his shoulders droop from tense of just being there. relief. this part of gotham was peaceful. something he wouldn’t know when he was kid. so used to life of crime and the loud sounds. he feel like he could breathe again.

with his duffel bag strapped on his shoulder tightly, he leaned on his side to turn on a street. there it was. a familiar neighborhood with some lucky people who live there.

beautiful trees greet him as they swished back and forth in the darkness. street lights buzzed with energy. the road was big for a neighborhood. cars were parked with an amazing space capacity.

to his luck, only some of the neighbors were out this late.

some of them waved at jason with such kindness, he in return gave them a wave.

it wasn’t long before he finally reached the house he’s been waiting for so long to be at. slowing down his motorcycle, jason turned a sharp left. now on cement ground. in front of his was the garage.

kicking his foot up to park his motorcycle and turning off the engine, he unswings his leg.

his blue eyes wander around the house, still looking good. the tree in front was old. a few crickets could be heard.

bringing up his heavy scar hand to his hair, fixing it to look more presentable. not before he reaches in his front pocket, grabbing a small circle shape. out from his pocket…is a wedding ring. inside, is words engraved ‘MY HEART IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, YOURS’

jane austen, sense & sensibility

jason slides the wedding bang on his ring finger, feeling the cold metal hit his warmth. he smiled just by looking at it. full of love and promises.

not wasting anymore time, jason walked around his motorcycle and to the front door. the door, a nice polished red brown color two windows on each side. fishing out his keys, he fiddles around finding a familiar key hanging. inserting it inside the keyhole, turning until hearing a click. jason opens the door.

entering the house, the first thing he smells is a warm scent of vanilla and almond. something he loves to smell. and not to forget, the dog smell.

speaking of dog, jason closes the door behind him. making sure to lock it. the sound of nails and paws hitting the wooden floor, rushing excitedly towards him. he takes off his shoes by the side of the door and his duffel bag. jason let’s out a whistle signaling he was here and it was him.

that caused the nails to immediately start running towards him more faster.

jason chuckled, he squats down. knees bent forward with his hand out. and in his sight, is a eight month old black german shepherd. it’s eyes two different colors. one a soft brown color and the other, blue like jason’s.

a pink tongue lolls out, panting heavily as it stared at jason. he smiled at the sight of the very excited puppy. “ hey girl, you missed me?”, he spoke softly.

the puppy whines lowly before trotting over to jason, her snout hits his hand before moving it on top of her head. awaiting for the best head scratches. his hands glide over her soft puppy fur, smooshing her cheeks together before giving a small peck on top of her head. “missed you to girl”, he says getting up from his position.

jason walks over to where the living room is, only to see it was empty with the flat screen TV black. pursing his lips in hoping to see someone. maybe kitchen?

kitchen was empty, he stood by the doorway. eyes searching for a figure to greet him but fails. in between jason’s thick thighs, was the puppy. it stood in the middle, looking up at him with the cutest puppy eyes. jason looked down in question, “where’s ya ma? she upstairs?”. a low whine with ears pinned before leaving his legs. leading him to where the stairs are. stretching his limbs a little, jason reaches the upstairs.

in one of the rooms, was lightened.

the pup sits by the door before scratching at it with a saddened look. jason looked at it with worry. his hand grips the gold knob before turning it. trying to stay quiet only for him to fail as the pup impatiently went inside the master bedroom. from the light, jason could see a small lump on the huge bed. pillows surrounded that lump, it moved once it heard the door open.

until, a head full of hair in a ponytail popped up from the lump.

jason smiled tiredly, “hey baby”. blankets shrug off the lump, showing a woman laying on the bed. she had (h/c), eyes clear of (c/e). and those eyes contained excitement just by looking at him. her body was clad in his pro-club black shirt with some shorts underneath.

“baby! you’re home!”, she greets him now jumping up on the bed running towards him. jason held out his arms as she jumped into him catching her with ease. large hands landing on her ass to steady her, his forearms hooked under her legs.

she wraps her arms around his neck, placing a kiss on his lips. god, he missed this. he could smell that vanilla and almond smell. one from her body lotion she always uses. pulling away from his lips, she leaned back with a beautiful smile. “i missed you baby”, she says.

“and I missed you. has ginger been good?”, he asks shifting her in his arms.

she sighs at him before turning her head to where the pup lays on their shared bed. the pup lays in between it’s paws looking at the couple with guilty eyes. “she tore my heels again”, she grunts at jason.

ah, those heels. jason held in a laugh before rubbing his hand on her bum. “im sure she didn’t mean to, I’ll buy you new ones”, he suggests only for her to turn her head back to him with eyebrows furrowed. “uh no, im buying new ones”, she says now wrapping her legs around his thick waist.

“what? why?” “because I know you jay, you’re going to say that I should buy two when I don’t want to”

jason frowned at her before raising his eyebrows knowledging she was right.

“mm yea you’re right. what I can’t spoil my wife?”, he sends her a teasing smile.

she rolls her eyes before letting her self down back on the ground. “you can. but you’re wife doesn’t want you to. you hungry?”, she asks him pulling down the shirt to cover her appropriately. jason’s tall figure towers over her, he shrugged his huge shoulders. “yea, you cooked?”, he asks his wife.

“not yet, I was waiting for you to come home so we can cook together”, she says looking up at him. her arms wrap themselves around his waist, breathing in his scent. jason nodded, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. “alright, let me get changed and I’ll meet you downstairs”, jason says before giving her smack on her ass.

his wife yelps from the tender slap, she playfully shoves him before giggling. heading to the door, she whistles for the pup. “ginger! come girl!”, she yells out before disappearing from frame. the said pup, perks up before running off following the woman.

jason grinned, his large hands on his hips taking in the room. cozy it was..

the walls were a soft beige color, everything was schemes of white, brown and gold. taking off his black leather jacket, jason starts walking to the huge bathroom where the closet was in as well. inside the bathroom, was neatly placed makeup and expensive creams laid out.

he takes off his shirt, the fabric sliding off against his chiseled chest. now in the closet, jason than takes off his jeans. leaving him only in his briefs. his figure passes by a photo laid perfectly onto of the drawers in the middle of the closet. that photo, was on the day him and his wife had gotten married in secret. it wasn’t at the wedding but it was after the ceremony. they were in greece. stating how much his wife loved greek history and mythology, it would be perfect to get wedded there.

the photo had his wife, in a beautiful summer dress with a white orchid flower in her hair. she smiled at the camera with delight as jason in a white button with a few of those buttons down, a gold chain around his neck. instead of looking at the camera, he was looking down at her with the most loving smile. literally giving heart eyes.

he’ll never forget that day. now, he knows he said he doesn’t see himself getting married. jay felt he was too damaged. doesn’t have a lot of luck with love or even being happy. but it changed when he met his wife, y/n l/n.

loving him for his so called flaws. not treating him like he’s so fragile when he isn’t. overall showing him love and that it’s okay to be vulnerable and angry. a bonus on her liking red hood. y/n is a civilian.

her family was involved with the military, and with y/n also finishing college early and working from home as an artist and a small business of making jewelry.

making jewelry helped her anxiety and depression is what she told him. and with the money she gets after, she would donate it to charity. one of the things jason loves about his wife. deep within, she was overall the kindest woman. that’s exactly why he married her in the first place.

carefully, jason steps down the stairs in his plaid pajama pants and a plain black t-shirt. he walks in the kitchen to see y/n already setting up the food to cook meanwhile ginger, the cute canine, was busy playing with a lamb chop squeaky toy. hearing him, ginger stops what’s she doing. the sad little lamb toy hanging from her mouth. the pup trots over to jason in excitement, using her back legs to give her support in jumping on him. “hey girl, what you got there?”, he asks lightly grabbing the toy in her mouth.

ginger gives out a playful growl in response as jason started rocking the toy back and forth, her head moving along.

“she insisted on having it the other day, practically begged me”, y/n says with a grin on her face. her hands prepping the food taking out the piece of meats and setting them on the cutting board. jason laughed, he always knew she would spoil ginger the minute he got her.

almost as if y/n knows what jay was thinking, she says “and no, I do not spoil her babe. that’s all you”.

finally, the sad looking lamb toy lays in his hands.

ginger sits on her butt looking at him ready to go and play. jason turned the toy and only to see some of stuffing almost gone. “yeesh, you already torn the poor lamb ging. you have to be more careful or else your mama won’t buy you anymore toys”, he says raising his eyebrows at the pup. with the words ‘won’t buy’, ginger’s big ears droop.

those sweet puppy eyes, jason knew he couldn’t resist them. the same ones that looked up at him when he found ginger in the city as red hood one night. an abandoned puppy. more so something happened to the mother and left ginger to fend for herself. jason bends down once more, his hands that held the toy start to scratch the dog behind it’s ears before whispering “I’ll buy you more later”.

a simple response of ginger giving jason a lick on his cheek. the spoiled puppy.

y/n stopped what she was doing, a hand on her hip as she watched her two loves with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “babe?”, she asks. jason stood up so quick. he turned to his wife to see her looking more smug. “what?”, jason smiles lightly.

“nothing, nothing. can you pre hear the oven for the pies please”, y/n says going back to seasoning the huge pieces of steak. pie?

ah yes, his wife’s famous pies. now, he loves alfred. he’s like a grandpa to him.. but he will have to say and he will never have the old man listen. but his wife’s pies…are too die for. the richness. the sweetness. the glazed top of the crust. jason loves the pies. especially apple pie. who doesn’t like apple pie?

with that mention of the pies, that made jason quirk up. “pie?”, he asks now walking over to his wife not before giving ginger a small head rub. y/n giggled, cute seeing her husband get so excited to have some pie tonight. “yes jay, pie. you’re favorite too”.

mentally jason high fived himself when his wife said she made him his ultimate favorite pie. jason now behind y/n, he wraps his arms around her waist. his chin rested on top of her head, gently he rubbed her. y/n leans back into his warmth as she left the steaks on the board to marinate.

there was many times he had missed this. just being with his wife, and dog.

and in those times, he was in awe of how he could be lucky for once. jason was full of anger. so many hurt. he’s a dangerous man for sure. well not JASON TODD.

but RED HOOD.

when y/n found out his line of work, she didn’t go and run off in fear. why? because there was a night he saved her from getting murdered one night. she wasn’t afraid of him or the demons he always had. he would always give her a reason to hate him or think he’s a monster. but those reasons turned into more reasons to love him.

“what you thinking over there handsome?”, y/n questions him from his sudden silence. jason blinked, he shifts his arms around her waist a little. he hummed in response. his chest rumbled like a purr.

“just, how lucky I am to have you..and this part of my life”, he mutters. as he talked, his chin would rub harshly against her head. it made her itch a little. y/n stopped her moving around on the counter, wiping her hands free from seasoning. her head tilts up to look at jason leaving his chin from having an balance.

her body turns in his big arms. his hands now wrapped around the small of her back. from the slight height difference jason had to lean down his upper body a little to even look at y/n. “lucky? I think I’m more lucky to have you jay”, she whispers tenderly. wrapping her arms around his neck standing on her tippy toes. always a sap. jason leans down, both of their lips almost touching. “and how are you the lucky one?”, jason asks. he could feel y/n smile.

“maybe because, im married to someone who is doing the people of Gotham a favor. saving people, beating the system, taking out criminals. you give back to the people…you give them a sense of hope and security no one could give them…”

and as she said those words, jason couldn’t help but feel…disappointed. not with y/n. but with himself. he may help his people. but doesn’t mean everyone else thinks he is the good guy. he’s not a hero for damn sure to most people. but that’s only because, jason is someone who gives people a chance and a reality. and that reality fucking sucks. that’s how he turned out. he shakes his head a little, leaning his forehead against hers. “im not a good person”, he says.

y/n frowned, his words made her sad.

he would always doubt himself, he wouldn’t of done it before but when they had gotten married he opened up a bit more. time. that’s what they had.

her arm moves away from his neck to lift up a finger. running it against the faded ‘j’ scar on his cheek. he closes his eyes leaning just into the small touch. “not everyone gets to decide if they are a good person or not. we let fate and our decisions determine that…and you, I know your a good person. cause if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have saved me that night and let me die”, she spoke softly. her finger moves up to his eyebrow that held another scar. jason opened his eyes, the blue color flashes with some green.

green like the lazarus pit.

a reminder of what brought him back to life. the memory of when he saved y/n, unknowingly that she would be his wife two years later. how crazy life could be.

pressing his lips against hers, the two locked lips. the space between them closing as they embraced one another. with a few pecks in, y/n leaned her forehead forward once again. jason locked eyes with her beautiful (e/c) eyes. “and im glad I did save you. cause then I wouldn’t have you with me”.

y/n grinned a little, she presses her lips against jason’s. a soft smack as it lands. pulling away from him, y/n gives his chest a small rub. “and i wouldn’t. now enough of the sad stuff, I’m hungry”, y/n says playfully turning back to face the counter with the readied steaks. jason silently chuckled, he shakes his head before rubbing his hands together. creating some heat in them. his heated hands fall, quick and hard. jason smacked y/n’s ass creating a rather loud ‘SMACK’.

jumping from the sudden violation, a small ‘aah’ y/n let out as she touched her burning cheek. she bends down in pain before laughing. jason laughed as he watched his wife who took that hit like a ‘champ’. “why?!”, y/n groaned with a laugh. jason shrugged his shoulder a little with a shit eating grin, “eh don’t act like you aren’t used to it babe”. with a wiggle of his eyebrows, y/n grabs a wet napkin near the sink ready to attack him with it.

the kitchen now filled with childish laughter, the husband and wife run around like two kids playing tag. ginger watched with her lamb toy in her mouth. her fluffy head tilted to the side curious as to what they were doing.

⋆˙.☾. ⋆˙

the night was more quiet than ever.

in the master bedroom contained the sleeping couple and a tired pup, and a ruined lamb toy. sounds of soft snores and tv background noise. something jason had on due to him not fully being used to the quiet ambience. from earlier events from dinner and teaching ginger new tricks, both y/n and jason decided to retire for the night. of course not before having some adult fun to themselves. what felt like a sahara desert in the room, y/n awoken.

thick muscular arms wrapped tightly against her bare waist, one hand touching her breast. her ring touches against his warm skin letting y/n know why it was rather hot in the room. jason radiated that warmth. her half opened eyes shift to his side to see the alarm clock. letters bolder in red as they read 2:45 AM. it was still pretty early. usually, jason would be awake doing patrol. she wasn’t complaining though. feeling parched, y/n decided to get some water downstairs. ‘should of convinced jay to get that hundred dollar mini fridge in here’, she thought to herself. her hand carefully unwraps jason’s arms from her body, the sleepy husband of hers groans from the lack of holding someone. to be extra careful to not awaken him, y/n uncovers herself.

shivering, as the Gotham’s cold air hits her. y/n slowly leaves the bed, and as she left. using her tippy toes to create little no sound to not disturb jason, her bare form skids to the where her fluffy grinch robe was.

wrapping the cozy robe on her form she was instantly met with softness and warmth. y/n ties the wrap around her waist making to secure it nicely. she turns her head to see if her husband had awoken only to see he was knocked out like a light. on the floor was ginger who lifted up her head to see where her mom was going.

y/n walks over to door turning the golden knob slowly and steady. and once it opened, y/n was quick to leave the bedroom and out in the hallway. her arms crossed against her chest going down the stairs, eyes not fully opened and tired yawn escapes her. making her way at the bottom of the stairs, y/n looked around the living room.

it was tidy and always clean before going to bed with y/n always complaining it has to be clean or she would procrastinate later on and do it in a month. unbothered by the lack of mess, y/n watched as the winds blow over the trees in front of the house. creating a scary shadow that lighten the living room. and for some reason, y/n felt…uneasy. like a monster was going to come up from behind her and kill her brutally. but only, nothing did. she shrugs off the silly thought before going to the kitchen. on the dish rack was clean cups and plates, grabbing one of the clear mason jar in her hand.

she walks over to the fridge where an water distillery was a part of, pushing it light alooms the fridge and the kitchen. cold water springs out and onto the mason jar. and about five seconds, an already full cup is filled the brim.

pressing her soft lips against the cold glass, y/n took big sips and gulps of the cold temperature water. it ran smooth down her throat and freezing into her body. three a.m. water was just different and better when you wake up in the middle of the night. chugging her drink, y/n swallowed last bits of it before placing it in the sink to be washed later.

using her fluffy sleeve to wipe at the water that dropped down on the side of her lip. y/n stretched her limbs a little. nights like this was simple. drink water, stretch, then head to bed. but tonight, it felt more…scary. after her stretch break, y/n looked around the kitchen and the backyard. blackened curtains hiding any view inside.

it was too quiet. more quiet than a library.

what feels like voices telling her to just go back to bed with jason and sleep till the morning sun comes. but in her gut, she felt like something wasn’t right. eyes glued onto y/n. and never leaving. her breath hitched as she tried to listen to something. just something to let her know she wasn’t overthinking it. almost like the curiosity was stopping her from going back upstairs.

that was until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist instantly.

y/n lets out a scream at the sudden attack. ready to scream out for her husband or to try and wound the person, a sleepy chuckle is heard by her ear. quick to realize who it was, y/n relaxed into the arms and chest she loved so much. “jay”, she whined out annoyed.

jason laughed, feeling mischievous at the successful attempt in scaring his wife. “sorry. why you out of bed?”, he asks her. his voice was rough and tired. he wasn’t there for that long it seems. y/n leaned her head back into the croak of his shoulder. “just thirsty was all”, she says. her hand reaches up to jason. rubbing at the side of his neck with reassurance.

“well you were taking long babe”, jason says bending his neck down to meet hers.

she lets out a giggle before biting her lip. “oh? well it wouldn’t BE taking so long if you just said yes to the mini fridge in our room”, she teases him.

jason rolled his eyes knowing his wife won’t stop pestering him about that damn mini fridge that was a good deal for a pretty good sized shape. tighting his grip on her waist, jason playfully bites her neck causing her to squeal.

wiggling away in his grip jason grinned in the crock of her neck. one of her ticklish spots that jason likes to mess with. “okay okay! im sorry. but we should of gotten it”, y/n admits truthfully. jason lets out a sigh already wanting to head up back to bed where ginger was probably in his spot by now. he gently grabs onto her sleeve, pulling away with him.

“alright I get it, you are right and I’m right. come on lets get some sleep”, he mutters to her. y/n follows jason out of the kitchen and back to the living room. she pauses, standing next to the stairs looking around the clean living room as if she was searching for something. nothing…only there was the shadow of the tree on their porch. jason noticed this.

she was paranoid. but why?

jason stands by the stairs looking at y/n and back to the empty living room. “what’s wrong?”, he asks her. he was worried. paranoid, was something y/n wasn’t like. he was. only time she would when jason was injured or not responding and has been away for days. y/n blinked furiously, shaking her head now bringing her ringed hand up to tuck in her messy hair. “nothing. nothing just making sure”, she says to him. it wasn’t nothing at all.

he slowly nodded his head still not believing her though. tugging on her sleeve to go up the stairs. y/n followed her husband, not before taking a look at the living room once more and back up to her bedroom.

“babe? baabee? babe!”

y/n turned her head in a flash to be faced with jason who was holding up two different tubs of ice cream in his hands. cookies and cream, and chocolate brownie. giving her a raised eyebrow in question, jason walked over to her with worry. “you okay?”, jason asks her placing the two tubs in the grocery cart.

no. she wasn’t.

lying straight to her husband’s face, she nodded her head with a tight lipped smile. “yea, yea just tired I guess”, y/n lies.

and that she lied to him again. jason knows. knowing her too much as much as she did about him. he looks down at her shorter height, unconvinced and waiting for his wife to tell him. something was off. “is it the nightmares again?”, he bluntly asks. y/n widened her eyes with her mouth agape shaking her head before replacing the expression into an offended one. “what? no no! im fine jay. just tired, you know? I haven’t gotten any sleep when you left”, she half lies to him.

already wanting to quick the conversation and end it just at that. y/n grabs the cookies and cream ice cream walking over to the freezer and placing it back.

on her way back to the hunk, jason had his mouth opened more offended than she was. “why you put back the cookies and cream?”.

“uh because that one isn’t good? the chocolate brownie mix has REAL brownie pieces babe” “and so does the cookies and cream!”

y/n giggled at the silly childish argument. glad the serious talk was over. she kisses jason the cheek before scrolling away with the cart with jason on her tail. “wha- babe don’t tell me you don’t love cookies and cream! the cookie parts are the best parts! stop walking woman!”, jay tries to reason with her only to be ignored.

exiting the large grocery store, jason pushed the full cart of food and necessities as y/n walked beside him hopping in her boots as she held up a long white receipt. “woah! see that babe? eighty seven dollars worth of groceries with fifty dollar worth coupons, we scammed the government”, y/n says proudly shaking the receipt in the air. jason laughed at her pushing the cart. “scamming the government by having coupons and saving money? oohhh babe you’re dangerous. someone put a wanted sign for this woman”, he teases her only to receive an small shove.

“I cracked the system babe” “oh I’m sure you did”

“well I think we did an amazing job. you know we can always save up more coupons and buy stuff for the woman’s homeless shelter? anna from next door said she would be on board with that”, y/n tells jason giving him a note to go to the homeless shelter in Gotham in a few weeks and give them some supplies. jason hummed in agreement stopping the cart as they reached the car. “want me to do the loading or you do it?” “I’ll do it, just check the back please”

her figure hops to the right of the car opening the back seat door only to be faced with a teddy bear with a red hood t-shirt on strapped in his seat. y/n smiled remembering when jay got her the cute bear as a Valentine’s Day gift. she shuts the door before moving on the passenger seat. empty. “clear!”, she yells out.

jason opens the trunk door, lifting it up he was met with a note.

a note? why the fuck is there a note in his car? it was folded into two. blank on each side. now the creeping feeling up on his spine and in his throat, anxiety pitted in his stomach. he grabs it, and as he did he opens it…

only to see a random doodle recognizing y/n’s handwriting. the drawing was of jason as a stick figure with his signature red hood helmet on with a smile and y/n and ginger drawn in a funny way. ginger had the little lamb toy in her mouth. he snorted before shoving it in his pocket. now loading up the car with the groceries.

once jason had finished loading the groceries, he grabbed the end of the cart scrolling away to put it away. y/n walks over to the passenger seat door, as she opened it she slid right in. buckling herself up she shuffled in her seat to get more comfortable as she waited for jason. a force habit she did, y/n looked up at the view mirror. her hand moved it to face her, fixing her makeup.

a pinkie slide against her glossed lips, wiping away at the corners. rubbing her lips together to smear more of the product. y/n moved the mirror back to it’s original place. and when she did, a man in a car with sunglasses and his hoodie up stares right at her.

y/n froze.

staring back at the man through the mirror, she could see he was parked right behind them. the man had stains on his hoodie, they were dark and moist looking. his hands were bloodied. eyes were bloodshot. beard unshaven and uneven. what terrified y/n more, the clown mask laying on his dashboard.

clown…clown…

he didn’t blink. all he did was stare. just staring. so deep into her eyes and into her soul.

her fingers grip onto the arm rest. the staring contest between them two was intense. it was almost like he was there, for her.

the drivers door opens fo reveal jason who ruffled his hair messily. “ehh do we still have any hair dye babe? …babe?”, jason looked at y/n. he watched as she stared not at him but at the mirror facing the back.

“jay…that guy is staring…”, she whispers.

jason shoots up but not enough to alert the watching man, slowly he sits in his seat leaning back. he turns his head to the rear view mirror, trying to get an angle of who was staring at his wife so creepily. not seeing anything, y/n made a call to let him know where. “the car right behind us…”, she says.

but before jason could take a proper view of the said man, y/n watched from mirror as the man moved quickly and drove off.

y/n groaned disappointed. jason looked at her as she fell in his seat relaxed now and not so tense. “he’s gone…”.

ready to comfort her, she continued. “he was right there jay, he just stared at him like a fucking creep”. jason reached over letting his hand rest on her cheek rubbing slowly to comfort her.

“what’s his description”, he states. his tone was serious and cautious. knowing tonight he was going to lock his doors, put on the security system on and get a gun out in case. y/n sighed, taking a minute.

she felt like somebody’s watching her.

“I- he, can I just tell you when we get home? I just want to go…”, she whispers. the hand on her cheek slides to her hands, jason gave her a firm grip before nodding. “yea, of course…I’ll just tell Samuel to keep watch of any passes by the gate”, jason consoles her. y/n breathed out heavily nodding in agreement.

jason let go of y/n to turn on the engine, having the radio play a familiar song y/n has grown to love dear to her heart. and a song jason would say he thinks of his wife when he hears this..

“The day the music died

So, bye, bye, Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to The Levee, but~”

“perfect timing”, y/n muttered under breath sarcastically. jason grinned a little in agreement. normally y/n would start singing along, but after being stared at by a dude who has a clown mask in his car was something she was more shaken up by. her intuition knew she was being watched. something she always, always trusts.

but how DO you really keep someone safe?

you don’t, not when different pair of eyes are on you. but not just on you, but those you love when you leave every few weeks.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

author’s note: hi loves! so I rewatch black widow and this song has been stuck in my head for a while so why not. and I do have some sad intentions with this song by the way so be prepared! im sorry i wasn’t as active yesterday! i was hungover and threw up 💀 but since i saw one of my loves say they would love a secret wife!reader might as well write this! I hope you all enjoy let me know if you would want a second part!

BINX

BYE BYE, MISS AMERICAN PIE || JASON TODD X WIFE!READER

master-list || CHAPTER TWO: SWEET AND BLOOD.

summary: it always him. a unhealthy reminder of jason’s nightmares and demons.

pairing: husband!jason todd x wife!reader, bruce wayne, dick grayson, jim gordon, damian wayne, ginger the pup.

warnings: ptsd?, traumatic experiences, talks of death, almost panic attacks? a little bit of smut??? y/n gets tackled twice, violence, injuries, almost attempted kidnapping.

previously || next

why is it called a secret, when you can’t be careful?

oh wait..it never was a SECRET.

“what..”

was all jason todd could say. not RED HOOD. not the man who killed criminals and terrorized any crime boss in Gotham city and left their heads rolling for police to take care of. but JASON. the boy who was left to fend for himself and starving until he met bruce wayne. same scared kid who was murdered by a clown. a clown who wore caked on face paint, green hair, laughed like his life depended on it. one who murdered so many lives. he didn’t take Jason’s life…he used it…and than torn it. all because, he was robin and because he was the son of his number one enemy.

memories of that torturing hours, of just being there with him.

he could hear him laughing, laughing so much like he was so goddamn funny to brutally beat a kid. jason could feel his hands on him. he could feel, EVERYTHING.

the crowbar, he could feel the metal beating him senselessly. from to his face to his toes. the ache and the throbbing. than to the numbness. it was like when you get sick, the chills and the fever and the feeling of not being able to get up mixed with getting stomped on by a giant over and over was what it felt like. it never stopped. the pain.

but that doesn’t compare when he had his finger nails pulled off. limbs broken. hanging by a thread. the cuts that fuckin’ clown would give him. but the most memorable besides the crowbar was HIM… carving a J on the side of his cheek. it was slow. painfully agonizing. he could hear his own screams begging to stop. he remembered he would always purposefully go slow and dig deeper into his bleeding skin. something the lazarus pit couldn’t fully heal, not even his autopsy marks on his chest.

he was littered, of death. and he cheated death, without him even letting it happen. you could say that the lady death let it slide…for now.

“jay?”, he hears his wife, oh his wife…the love of his life.

y/n sat down in front of jason who stared blankly ahead of her. his gaze was into space. gone he was. unresponsive. she was used to seeing her husband like this after he has his nightmares or panic attacks. a lot of times she would see if he wanted to have her console him, if not she wouldn’t touch him unless he gave her consent. she was patient. and that’s all jason asks.

“baby…you need me?”, y/n whispers to him but still not daring to touch him. she could hear his breathing hitch, it looked like he wasn’t breathing at all. “jason”, y/n calmly called out his name.

that caused him to blink a little before robotically looking down at her in between his legs. y/n held a worried look, worried he was going to have an episode. “jay? how can I help? mhm? do you want to list off some things?”, she questions him slow. jason blinked, shaking his head. y/n muttered a small ‘okay’ before placing herself fully on their carpet floor.

“okay…can i touch you?”, y/n asks him with her hands on her lap.

he stared down at his wife, all he sees..is her. jason nodded, his hair flopped as he did. y/n nodded with a frown. her hand reaches up with a pace of calmness, both the husband and wife’s hand clasped together. her thumb rubs against the scar on his knuckles.

“jay…I need you to breathe with me..okay? I need you to take deep breathes”, y/n reminded him. something jason tends to forget when he feels like something is going to cause him to have a panic attack or when an nightmares occurs. he inhaled from his nose before exhaling quietly, he does that a few times as y/n watched to make sure he wasn’t overdoing it. “there ya go…”, she cheers on.

jason closed his eyes, feeling a sense of relief. reminding himself he wasn’t there anymore and he was safe with his wife. “I know baby..I know. do you want to go and lie down? glass of water”, y/n began to ask him. ready to go and get some water anyway for him, jason grabbed her hand. her ringed hand. the gold wedding ring stared back at him. his calloused thumb runs over the band.

pressing a firm kiss on the ring he put on her himself. jason finally spoke to her “im fine..thank you babe”, he whispers under his breath.

worried still, y/n nodded her head as she reaches up and rubs jason’s knee that was shaking violently. he takes deep breathes to calm himself and allow his wife’s presence as well. his jet black hair tossles forward, in the sunlight, a few white streaks glides. the hair dye finally fading away.

y/n always remember when jay needed some help in dying his hair, said it was better than a constant reminder of his fate before. she did always like the white streak in his hair though. like a cute skunk. she looked at his hair before reaching up gently tugging on the growing whites. “you’re right.. we do need to dye it”, she whispers.

on jason’s face was a growing smile until it dropped remembering what y/n had previously told him. his frown deepened, “it’s my fault…I should’ve been more careful..I fucked up”, he says. hearing the fear and the blame coming from jason made y/n look up into his eyes. her eyebrows furrowed, shaking her head more.

“it is NOT you’re fault jason. none of it was your fault..you-”, cupping jason’s scarred cheeks into her warm hands. the cold wedding ring touching his skin. “protect me so well my love..you keep me safe. you never fuck up. you are the best husband I could ask for, no matter how many times you doubt yourself. know you done this for us. you are the greatest man I know..”, her words of truth and love made JASON TODD cry. tears fall drooping down his cheeks. one, two, three, four and five tears as more keeps on coming.

jason bites his lips as they wobbled. he lets out a choked sob before wrapping his hands around his wife’s. y/n’s eyes softened at the sight. “oh jay”, she coos at him.

her thumb wipes away his falling tears letting her husband cry.

everyone is allowed to be vulnerable. just because you’re vulnerable doesn’t make you weak. you have so much pain yet you still carry it, letting that pain go will set you free. be angry. be sad. whatever you’re emotion you feel, turn it into something greater.

those are what y/n told jason. on the night he revealed to her that his true identity and his story. he didn’t cry, that night. he just stared at the city. scared but accepting if she was scared and wouldn’t want to see him again. yet she never did. she stayed. and when she told him those words, god did he grew to love her more and more.

“why did you marry me?”, jason asks y/n from behind her. laying inside the porcelain bathtub was the two couple, naked and covered in foamy bubbles. the room smelled of warm cocoa butter and brown sugar, a hint of lavender essential oil. the only light in the large bathroom was red and white thick candles. the large man’s figure was behind y/n’s, he was pressed up against the cold porcelain.

playing with the foam and blowing into them creating the smallest tiniest of bubbles, y/n turned her head to look at jason with a curious look. “what? what kind of question is that?”, she asks him. her full attention to him.

he shifts, moving y/n along on his lap. “i just..want to hear it again. please?”, jay asks. she looks down at his wet chest before looking up at him. from her back being turned away, she quickly moves over chest to chest.

and as their chests touch each other..y/n wraps her wet arms around his thick neck. “the reason why I married you. is because I could have of chosen to be married to someone else. somebody who wouldn’t love me, as much as you do. you love me. but not as much as I love you. that night you saved me, I knew. and when you told me who you truly are. I knew. I love you and all you’re days and nights. red hood, robin, jason todd…all of you is what I love. marrying you, is my gift till the day I die…”

the words, so beautiful. jason stared at her with devotion, his heart beats every second. his eyes turned into hearts eyes the minute she spoke. “god I love you”, he whispers looking down at her lips.

his thumb runs along the plush skin. his right hand goes down to her hip and the other hand on her back. pushing her forward onto him, bringing each other closer and closer. their lips clasp each other.

y/n turns her head slightly to the left, taking in jason’s lips deeper. her hand grips the hair on the back of his head. she slightly tugs causing jason to groan. the room becomes more heated and intense. pulling away from her jason moves his face onto her neck. he plants soft kisses and as he touches the spot y/n likes, he pulls her skin in and sucks. “jay..”, she moans. the hand on y/n’s hip rocks her back and forth. the room is now filled of moans and groans.

a soft sad whine is heard by door, a little black wiggling nose peeks right out from under the door. tiny claws scratching against the wood. both jason and y/n stop their actions before slowly turning to the door. a giggle comes out from y/n’s mouth from watching the poor alone pup on the other side of the door. “oh ging..”, she mumbled.

another whimper in response from ginger, begging to be let in with her parents. y/n giggled once more about to let herself up until jason goes back to nibbling on her neck. “jayyy”, she drags out.

continuing on his action of giving his partner pleasure, jason lifts up y/n in his hands before harshly slamming her on his lap. y/n shouts, feeling fullness before looking down at jason with widened eyes. “jason!”, she yelled. he pulls away from her neck to look up at her. an innocent look with a small grin before saying “what? im not getting cockblocked babe”.

rolling her (e/c) eyes at him slapping his chest. it wasn’t till jason rocks her back and forth once again that y/n stopped complaining. her eyes shut letting her husband do the work.

dried off, y/n runs a brush against her dampened hair. the smell of her shampoo and conditioner lingers in her roots and ends. in her view from behind is jason, still shirtless except for a pair of grey sweats cling to his hips. he always looked good in them. his large figure comes up from behind y/n before playfully flexing.

y/n laughed, “looking good babe…”.

from the mirror in front of them jason sends her a cheeky wink. “damn right I do”, he says back. looking down at the floor was ginger who happily sits on her butt with her tongue lolled out. “do I look good ginger?”, jason now asks the pup. the german shepherd barks in response cause the two to laugh.

y/n turns her head to where jason stood, his neck was littered of hickeys from their bath. she smiled before biting her lip to hide it. back to hair, y/n grabs a small bottle of oil now smothering it in her hands before running them against her hair.

amongst to her once she does her routine, jason watched her. it was satisfying to watch in his opinion. just now she takes care of her and now she does it, was nice. breaking the comfortable silence, was a phone ringing. y/n stopped herself, making eye contact with Jason from the mirror.

tension sprung. it wasn’t his personal phone but one he uses for work. jason drops his shoulders, he wasn’t leaving again. not when he just got back..it wasn’t fun to hear that familiar ring. he decided to just let it go on. and what felt like an eternity, it stopped. y/n knew it her stomach, it must be important enough for jason to be called. even though she just got him back. in defeat, y/n sighed. causing jason to shake his head in protest. “no..no I’m not gonna get that”, he argues.

“yes yes you do. jason it’s important” “not as important as you”

closing her eyes as jason argued, deep down he knows she is right. but she was more important than anybody else. this is his WIFE.

“jason…” “im not leaving. I don’t care. not after what happened today, fuck no im not leaving you alone”, he pushes on. his large hands turn y/n around to face him by the waist. y/n still under the influence for him to go. her face read of conflict. “y/n..look at me”, jason whispers to her. from looking at the floor to her husband. it was clear of his decision. his dark blue eyes looks into hers, y/n sighs once more. “im staying. okay?”, he asks her.

she was never the type to stop jason from helping others. neither was he. finally accepting his decision, y/n nods her head. quickly moving to go over and hug his large body. pressing his lips onto the top of her damp head. “come on, ill start dinner”, jason offers dragging her towel clung form.

guess jason will know what his family wanted him for tonight..

⋆˙.☾. ⋆˙

DICK curses under his breath annoyed and worried, his phone gripped tightly in his latex hand. the phone goes straight to voicemail making him whisper ‘shit’. he turns around to face bruce as batman who talked to JIM GORDON. “come on jay pick up..”, he prays to himself still attempting to call his younger brother who was absent as of right now.

only for him to sigh in disappointment. “YOU’RE CALL HAS BEEN FORWARDED TO AUTOMATED VOICEMAIL-“. dick pressed the end button before shoving his phone in a hidden pocket on his suit. his legs carry him over to bruce, looking more worried. bruce sees dick as he approaches him. “nightwing…anything?”, the batman asks in an deep voice. in a simple nod, jim sighs before looking up at the vandalized building.

“guessing he isn’t in Gotham right now. red hood leaving means more crime, no offense”, jim nods to Batman taking a smoke out of his cigarette.

batman stared at the commissioner blankly till turning to nightwing who looked at the building as well. “where could he be?”, dick asks under his breath. the building gave him the chills. mocking everybody but more so at both the two men. bruce turned his head away. where was his son? he doesn’t know. he doesn’t know anything. apparently a enemy does. “robin”, bruce calls out to the youngest one in the crime scene.

ROBIN, DAMIAN WAYNE, stands up tall and proud looking at the crime scene before him. he was disgusted on what was in his sight. the young boy walks over to batman with his katana by his side. “batman..”, damian says back to him.

“find red hood, he needs to know about this tonight..” bruce says. robin gives him a ‘tch’ scoffing at the idea of finding his incompetent brother who happened to leave two days ago. “wouldn’t be hard to find him anyways…commissioner gordon, nightwing” damian bids his goodbye before shooting an grappling hook to an building.

leaving three of the men looking up at the painted and bloodied building.

and on that specific building was a woman…all the once white sheets of paper had a large zoomed photo of either a cheek, an eye, a whole full. all the pictures glued together, like a puzzle it was. this woman had (h/c), (e/c), and had a smile so happy. but what made it more sickening was a familiar painted carved in smile of crimson red.

covering her (e/c) eyes was an ‘X’ mark on each eye.

all around the woman’s picture was big green and black colored ‘HA HA HA’s and just by looking at it was overwhelming for dick and bruce. he never stops. and just below the picture was bloodied words saying :

WHY KEEP MISS AMERICAN PIE A SECRET?

WHEN SHE DESERVES A LITTLE GREETING FROM ME? FLY HIGH BABY BIRD. WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN BIG RED.

a white card of a joker, placed purposefully at the end.

⋆˙.☾. ⋆˙

it was another quiet night.

too quiet. almost haunting and cruel.

it was mocking her. taunting her. laughing at HER.

ONCE again, in their shared bed. lays both y/n and jason on their respective sides, sleeping peacefully alongside ginger on her dog bed. the tv plays in the background of a random show jason had picked on netflix. with jason’s firm grip in cuddling his wife, y/n slowly opened her eyes. her throat felt dry. just like yesterday night. she cranes her neck over to her husbands side, lifting up to see his alarm clock.

it was 3:00 A.M.

mentally cursing for jason not buying that damn mini fridge, y/n pries his thick arms away from her waist. from her movement, jason groans loudly before turning away on the other side. not caring, y/n yawns scratching her head now getting up from the plush bed. ginger, lifts up and watches her mother lazily walk over to the door. what y/n didn’t see was ginger stands up, alerted. a low growl in warning before whining loudly. but not loud enough for jason to wake up.

it was cold tonight. to the hall and down the stairs, y/n rub her eyes with her index finger. smashing away the eye boogers.

slowly stopping at the end of the wooden stairs, y/n is faced with the emptied living room. the shadow of the trees were still this time, causing y/n to shiver. she crosses her bare arms rubbing up and down on them for heat. her feet pick her up to the kitchen, doing the same routine she had done previously.

picking up a mason jar glass from the dish washing rack, placing it under the water distillery from the fridge and wait for the glass to be nearly full. bringing the cold glass to her lips, y/n drank and chugged the rest of the water. her throat now quenched. setting down the emptied glass, y/n places it in the sink quickly wiping away water droplets from the corners of her mouth.

looking around the kitchen, it was quiet. one that made y/n scared. remembering that jason is upstairs and is there to keep her safe along with ginger. and healthy reminder, that jason had set the security system in the house and told their ‘gate’ security man to keep an eye out tonight. ‘I’m just being paranoid. definitely not going to that grocery store anymore.’

about to head back upstairs, y/n glanced at the counter before looking away. only to stop.

her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, knowing that her and Jason had cleaned up before heading to bed. so why the fuck is a poker card laying on the counter? walking slowly to where the card laid, y/n stares at it. doesn’t pick it up or even touch it. from early events and remembering that what jason said…how you could tell it was also him, was by a poker card with a joker.

not wanting to know what was imprinted on that card, y/n backs away slowly. ready to break for it upstairs and wake up her husband.

and that’s what she does..

her legs speed past the opening of the kitchen and into the living room. hands were quick to grab the railing of the stairs only for a pair of hands to grab her by the stomach. y/n lets out a gasp, “JAS-“. cut off mid screaming, a hand lands on her mouth. muffling her screams of fear.

“i got her, get the van ready”, a gruffly man voice says. with her hand on the railing, gripped so tight she made sure to hold on to stop the man from taking her. his hands pull on her, struggling to take her away. he grunts angrily at the stubborn woman. “fucking stop”, he grits his teeth in her ear.

unable to pull him off and to scream out for the man upstairs, y/n turns her hand into a fist before slamming it on the wooden railing. her hand throbbed from the harsh banging. a loud bark from upstairs alerts the commotion happening. “fuck! enough you fucking bitch”, the man kicks y/n on her back.

pain spreads all over her back making her hunch over. but that didn’t stop her from grabbing on the railing.

y/n, smart she is, she lets go of the railing to unexpectedly kick the wood cause both her and the man to fall over. the kidnapper grunts in pain as he lays there with y/n. her elbow hits the man square in the face feeling a smush of skin and bone. a loud crunch was heard. the impact made the man scream of more enough pain. he lets go of y/n to cradle his nose. giving her the opportunity to run. “JASON!”, she screamed out for him.

from upstairs a loud noise of glass and punches being thrown was heard by y/n. coming down from the stairs now was ginger.

the dog growls of smelling intruders, the four legged pup runs over to the man who was still clutching his nose. ginger’s teeth sinks deep into his arm, growling with the shake of her head. “get the fuck off me!”, the intrude yells out trying to hit ginger. y/n immediately runs over to stop the man from hurting her baby by stomping straight on his crotch. her foot slams harder each time on his crotch effecting more of his mobility. loud footsteps from the kitchen and into the living room just behind her, rumbling and shaking the floorboards. those footsteps hands slam right into y/n’s side. tackling her like a football player.

her head slams harshly against the floor, a pained whimper escapes her mouth.

a sudden weight sits on her stomach rather comfortably. two hands rest themselves on her neck squeezing enough for her windpipe to close. y/n eyes widened, her hands rest against the person’s hands trying to pry them off of her. she chokes, gasping for air. her nails dug into the arms to create some kind of pain. her eyes shift up to who was choking her to see a man figure in a gross white tank top wearing a clown mask, the same one from earlier.

her breathing starts to quicken realizing who this was above her. it was that creepy guy who was watching her when the two of them went grocery shopping. ginger hears the sounds of choking, her attention turning to her mother being suffocated by a man in a mask. canine teeth lets go of the man that was withering on the floor, her throat grumbles into a growl.

y/n’s vision starts to blur, her strength leaves her bones. a loud bark from her left is heard till the sudden weight is gone along with the hands around her throat. the woman gasps for air loudly turning into coughing fits. just as her vision begins to fix itself y/n could hear screams from her right with gingers growling.

“y/n!”, jason’s voice yells out from upstairs. his booming bare footsteps stomp down the stairs. “y/n!”, he once again yells out. gun in his hand and blood on his chest illuminating his autopsy scar.

before going to his wife jason sees a man in a clown mask gripping his crotch in pain. craning his gun, jason pulls the trigger at him. a loud bang makes y/n jump with a scream. a dead man laid on the floor. jason breathes in, his attention now onto y/n who’s hand cradled her sore throat. “y/n”, he says with a sigh of relief. he runs over to his wife gently picking her figure up into his lap as he sat down. “baby…are you okay? are you okay?”, jason anxiously asks her looking all over her body for bruises or any wounds. with ginger, still angrily chewing on the masked man’s arm, jason looks up at where his pup was. a sharp whistle till ginger lets go turning to jason.

soft puppy eyes trot over to the two with a saddened whine in seeing her mother hurt. ginger lays next to the y/n’s side, a whimper escapes once more before sniffing y/n. a pink tongue gently licks against her cheek. “im fine ginger”, she says voice now hoarsely. jason looks down at y/n than back to the dude in a shitty clown mask. about to get up and hit the man into unconsciousness.

the end of a katana hits the man in the side of his head. knocking him out straight and cold. and in jason’s sight, is his little brother in his robin costume. damian.

damian, slides his katana back into his case gracefully. his face in a scowl when he looked down at the masked man. “damian?”, the young boy looks up at his older brother with an unamused look. “todd”, he greets him walking around the unconscious man. ginger and y/n both looked at the younger boy who looked more and more unimpressed as he looked around the living room. “what the fuck are you doing here?”, jason angrily asks.

stopping in his tracks, damian looked at jason than at y/n. a small ‘tch’ from him. “father requested for me to come find you. so I have. and come to find that you were attacked by joker’s men, I came to your rescue”.

“my rescue? im doing just fine damian”, jason points behind him at the dead man with his gun. “well ill have you know todd, all of us know of you’re bride. no use to keeping everything a secret”, damian unconcerned stands right in front of the couple. his smaller frame looks down at y/n who was still coughing as she laid on jason’s lap.

“y/n l/n. nice to finally meet you sister in-law ..”, damian coldly says to y/n. behind his mask he glares down at her form.

if you can’t keep a secret hidden, why even try?

they’ll always know.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi my loves! thank you all for loving last chapter! hehe! big smooches for y’all! here is part two! for part three I’ll be making it longer so if I haven’t really been posting that’s why! but I hope you enjoyed this chapter! if you want to be on the tag list let me know!

BINX