A Throw Back To This Post To Celebrate Over 4,000 Followers, Thank You Loves For Giving Me So Much, Love,

A Throw back to this post to celebrate over 4,000 followers, thank you loves for giving me so much, love, support and a platform to share my writing, thoughts, rants and little peices of my soul :')

When you follow over a thousand blogs but have less than 35 followers 😢😹😅

There is so much life left out there. Waiting for me. But how is one to wade through all these wasted moments, to get there?

~The Tragedy of Growing Up

The thing about the budding landscape of the suburb I call my home is that it is not enough of anything.

Not enough bustle to be a city and yet too many city lights to be a small town. Not enough trees and Green grass expanse to be countryside but too many perfectly unobstructed sunrises to be urban landscape. Not enough traffic but too many crowded sidewalks.

Not enough buzz to get lost in and yet too much to feel known. Not enough noise to drown out my doubt but too much to trust. Not enough unfamiliarity to feel enthralled and yet too much to feel enchanted.

So much potential to be so much more than it is. But it seems to be stuck here in the in between. Never quite fulfilled or fulfilling.

Construction projects and Skeletal high rises litter once open fields now waiting upturned Earth, Stripped of its ability to Grow, And yet buildings remain unbuilt.

And yet it's people stay and its people invest . Wait for it to become everything they dreamed

And maybe it will

But I wonder if I will be around long enough to see it. Wonder who will outgrow who first

Wonder if my home will leave me behind

I think I understand why they are called eyelashes now. As her lid comes down, And with it the whip. As I am beaten down with every bat of her eye. As every eyelash flutter bestows an open wound on the already scarred surface of my will and my want. Until I am bleeding out On my knees Before her. Begging for mercy. Begging for more. As she turns me into a masochist.

Lash

(Verb)

1. Strike (someone) with a whip or stick

(Noun)

2. An eyelash

"I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy"

Or so I say

But am I not a hypocrite

And liar?

Am I not both masochist

And sadist?

For did I not wish this ache on me

And more over?

And who am I

If not my worst enemy