Back To December
—back to december
pairing: quill kipps x fem!reader, ex!anthony lockwood x fem!reader
summary: you had left lockwood in a night filled with regret and there was nothing you wanted more than to apologise to him
warnings: angst, mention of unwellness, but not specified
notes: this got a bit more lockwood x reader (in a platonic way off) than i had planned lol. sorry :)
"so you're just going to leave?" he let go of your bag and had that look on his face again. a look that almost made you regret everything. but you wouldn't stay. you couldn't.
"i'm sorry" you said and with that you opened the door and left portland row, without ever coming back.
you woke up from someone softly shaking you. "what is wrong, love?" quill asked worriedly.
you looked at him confused, blinking at the light of the night lamp. "huh?"
"you were crying" quill explained
"oh" you adverted your eyes, trying not to think about lockwood and the dream you just had. you weren't going to think about your ex-boyfriend while you were laying in bed with your current one. "sorry, i woke you" you said quickly "it was just a bad dream"
"alright" quill pecked your lips, before he settled down again. you weren't able to go back to sleep, so you stood up and sat down on the couch in the living room, grabbing a book and trying to concentrate on something else.
you were sure those sudden dreams about lockwood and the night you left hadn't come out of nowhere.
there was this mission quill had mentioned. something that involved working with the agency head. of course quill knew about your past relationship, that's how you had met after all, but he had assured that you didn't have to see lockwood if you didn't want to.
"it's fine" you had said "i have to face him at one point"
quill had accepted your decision. you knew that you had to face lockwood, there was no way around it anymore, that didn't mean that you felt good though.
it had been a year since that night and you knew that it was your fault. you had known since that night that he atleast deserved an apology. something you hadn't been able to give him until now.
your relationship with quill had changed your perspective on a lot of things. it had made you realize that you were in a bad state during your relationship with lockwood. you had to llove yourself before you could love anyone else. you had made that clear to quill when you started going out. he had been nothing short of supportive and patient.
it's not that lockwood wouldn't have been, but you couldn't drag him into your mess. not when he had enough on his plate already.
the sun came up quicker than you had anticipated. "since when are you up?" quill walked into the living room barefoot.
"good morning" you smiled, craning your neck so he could kiss you "i wasn't able to go back to sleep after my nightmare"
"so bad huh?" he opened the drapes
"yeah" you shrugged
"was it about lockwood?" he could really read you better than anyone
you sighed, before you nodded
"you don't have to come" quill assured "i can take bobby"
"no" you shook your head "i want to come. i just feel so guilty"
quill's eyes grew softer when he turned to look at you. he sat down beside you and hugged you. "he will understand"
"he was good to me" you muttered "and i just walked away. without any explanation"
"you can explain now"
"i will" you nodded
later that day, you were standing in front of the door of portland row. quill knocked.
george opened the door and to your surprise he smiled and even hugged you. "y/n" he beamed "i haven't seen you in such a long time, how are you?"
"aren't you.. angry?" you threw a glance at quill, who just shrugged
"why would i be angry?" george made a motion for you two to enter the house "lockwood explained everything to us"
"he did?" you asked surprised
"y/n!" lucy rushed down the stairs and almost made you fall over by the force of the hug she was giving you.
you hugged her back. "hey" you muttered into her hair. the smell of the house and the smiles of your friends almost broke your heart. you had missed them. you had missed home.
"hey" lockwood said, entering the hall. he had grown a bit, his suit, that used to be too big, fitting him perfectly now. the bags under his eyes had disppeared and he looked a lot less tired.
"hi" lucy had loosened her hold on you.
"why don't we go into the kitchen to discuss the case?" lockwood suggested and you weren't able to do anything more than nod.
"so where did you find it?" quill pointed at the wrapped up mirror
"we can't tell you that" george crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair
"okay" quill nodded "did you steal it?"
"we also can't tell you that" lucy said excusingly
"well what can you tell us?" quill asked
during the encounter at the kitchen table. lockwood wasn't able to take his eyes off of you. he noticed that you looked healthier than the last time he had seen you. just like you had noticed the positive change about him.
your mind drifted off and you caught lockwoods eyes, who also seemed to be thinking about anything else.
"could we talk?" you whispered
lockwood nodded. "please excuse us" he said and you followed him out of the kitchen and into the library.
"you didn't change anything, did you?" you said, walking around the room and noticing that it was still the same that it had been all those months ago. even the photograph that pictured lockwood and you together hadn't left.
you took it into your hand, watching it closely. the photo had been taken by a stranger when lockwood and you had been on the london eye.
you had only thought about that day a month ago, when quill and you visited the london eye. the memory had hit you suddenly and almost ruined your entire day.
"i remeber this day" you muttered, putting the photo down in it's place
"i do too" lockwood said "a great day" "yeah" you turned around. "what did you tell george and lucy about me leaving?" you asked "i bet it wasn't the truth, no" you shook your head "they wouldn't treat me like this if it was" you looked at the door
"it wasn't exactly a lie either" lockwood shrugged "i told them that you needed time. that you weren't well and that you couldn't do that while you were here"
"lockwood" you muttered
"you look happy" he said "healthier and better than when we last talked"
"it's been so long" you mumbled
"a year and fourteen days" lockwood added "i thought about everything a lot"
"why aren't you screaming at me?" you asked with tears in your eyes "i just left and ruined everything"
"you did what you had to do"
"i hurt you"
"still"
"why do you always have to be this good to me?" you cried "why can't you just be angry?"
"because i'm not" he touched your arm to comfort you "and i won't pretend i am just because it's easier for you"
"i'm sorry" another tear escaped your eye "for everything. i wish i could go back and change things, i'm sorry fur hurting you"
"i know" he hugged you
"i wish i could've loved you right"
"i do too" he admitted "but i know that back then you weren't able to do that, even if you wanted it so badly"
"i always cherished our time together, but i wasn't the version of myself you needed" you explained "i think that you look much healthier too"
"i am much healthier"
"great" you smiled "i won't ever say that the way i handled it was right, because it wasn't, but i think we both needed to heal individually, we couldn't do it together"
"i agree" lockwood smiled back softly "and even if i'm not angry, i'm still glad that you came to apologise"
"i hope it wasn't too late"
"it never was" he assured "maybe we can be friends again some day, but for now, just know that i will always love you"
"i will always love you too"
"and i'm glad that we met, even if it ended badly" he send you a last assuring smile. "come on" and with that you followed him back into the kitchen, sitting back down in your seat, while quill took your hand, squeezing it softly.
lockwood noticed the gesture and smiled at you. you smiled back. everything was alright again.
-
candlelitwisteria liked this · 3 months ago
-
theloosewombat liked this · 3 months ago
-
stupidcxpid liked this · 5 months ago
-
clar2aa liked this · 6 months ago
-
celestialhaven liked this · 7 months ago
-
holdthegirrrl liked this · 8 months ago
-
robinsswiftiegf liked this · 8 months ago
-
simpleblueblueberry liked this · 8 months ago
-
333sidelines liked this · 9 months ago
-
al-is-not-well liked this · 9 months ago
-
ravenfrogsandco liked this · 9 months ago
-
atea148 liked this · 10 months ago
-
bleuleta liked this · 11 months ago
-
yourmother696969696969 liked this · 11 months ago
-
green-ginkgo liked this · 11 months ago
-
light-23 liked this · 1 year ago
-
voidlevy liked this · 1 year ago
-
wenigstenshabeichesversucht liked this · 1 year ago
-
c3liaaaaa liked this · 1 year ago
-
tree0frog liked this · 1 year ago
-
lanadelreyenthusiest liked this · 1 year ago
-
taygrls liked this · 1 year ago
-
midknightmenace liked this · 1 year ago
-
graceelive57 liked this · 1 year ago
-
brooklynerster liked this · 1 year ago
-
forthefearofme liked this · 1 year ago
-
chocolatewombatfarmslime liked this · 1 year ago
-
beebo86 liked this · 1 year ago
-
puffin-fanfics liked this · 1 year ago
-
holymotherfxrkingshirtballs liked this · 1 year ago
-
anthonylockwoodandco111 liked this · 1 year ago
-
fearlessmoony liked this · 1 year ago
More Posts from Wordsarelife
ahhh!! ofccc <333
harry potter masterlist
fluff (f), angst (a), suggestive (s), platonic (p), injury/ blood (w)
────────────────────────
❛ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ❜
────────────────────────
𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 (4.8k)
this love (0.5k) — mattheo finally asks you to be his girlfriend (f, s)
willow (0.8k) — mattheo has a brilliant date idea.. not (s)
the game (3.5k) — after a night with you mattheo can’t get you out of his head, sadly you don’t like him like that (s, a, f)
────────────────────────
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐭 (2.4k)
i‘m only me when i’m with you (0.3k) — you steal theo‘s clothes and he finds out about it (f)
you are in love (1.4k) — after a lovely visit with umbridge, theo must prove that the words carved into your skin are the opposite of the truth (a,f,w)
call it what you want (0.7k) — in a school full of people treating them like celebrities, y/n and theo try to keep their relationship private (f)
-> there will be more following the couple -> feel free to request
────────────────────────
𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐲
nothing here yet
────────────────────────
oml i’m so late to this, soz!! this is amazing i love it so much!! thank you nicky, love u ❤️❤️💋
ahhh first this is such a cute idea, i’m in love 😍 and secondly: i’d like to request LOVER!! that sounds so cool! take all the time you need!! love u ❤️🩹
thank youuu!I'm sorry for the latency!
these are the vibes you give me <3
—today was a fairytale
pairing: quill kipps x gn!reader
summary: you and quill go on your first date at arif‘s
warnings: mentions of sex at the very end
notes: this was such a cute thing to write and i think we need more domestic quill kipps fics… or fics of him in general.. get to work, people!!
arif‘s was pretty busy that morning. it was winter and you were watching the snow fall from the window of the little shop. you could hear people talking lowly, almost slipping into a chorused whisper around you. the coffee in front of you was still hot, so you couldn’t drink from it just yet. quill had just brought you this new one after the first that you had already finished.
Quill slid in the seat across from you. you turned your head at the sound and smiled at him. the moment your eyes met his, he was already sipping on the second cup of hot chocolate, that he had just ordered at the counter, seemingly uninterested in waiting until it had cooled down a bit.
“isn’t it a bit funny, that you ask me on a coffee date and then continuously drink hot chocolate?” you asked
quill shrugged his shoulders “nah”
“okay” you smiled brightly
the both of you had been here for over an hour, talking with no end. when quill had asked you to go on a date with him, you had never thought that it would be so entertaining, or that you both would find that you had so much in common.
in your eyes, quill had always been pretty strict and serious, turns out he could be quite funny, making you laugh with almost everything he was saying.
"can i ask you something personal?"
quill nodded and you smiled softly.
"lockwood told me that your talent faded some time ago. why did you choose to continue to work against the problem? why not do something else?" you asked interested "i've been an agent for all i remember, i do get the grind, but doesn't it get tiring after all that time you worked as one?"
contrary to your belief, that he might get offended at the question, quill smiled. "i don't know" he said truthfully "the thought of quitting did enter my head but it never stayed for long. i love the people i'm working with and i want to make a difference in the world"
"i like that" you replied "i always admired you for it, honestly. the way you carry yourself and stick up for your team, like it's more than just a job"
"it is more than just a job" quill insisted "it's our lives and from what i've heard and seen you don't seem to hold back either" "thank you" you laughed, before you got serious again "do you think we will some day get rid of the problem?"
“we will” he assured. you couldn’t tell if he was really thinking that or if he was just saying that to ease your nerves. he knew that you were always worrying about the problem.
you would sometimes work together, him with his fittes team and you as a member of lockwood and co. this is how you had met as well. even though lockwood never held back with comments about quill, you had grown to like him.
lockwood had thought you had made a joke when you had told him about the date.
one of the first things you had noticed was that despite you mentioning them all the time, quill did not say one bad thing about your friends. it wasn’t your intention to test or annoy him, but they were your whole life.
every story you could tell happened with them, they were your family and you were surprised how quickly quill had understood that.
he even praised lucy and george, when you told him the story of annabel ward and said that he would have been glad to have them on his team as well.
you could notice the stiffness in his face, every time you mentioned lockwood, there was just too much to just forget it, but he didn’t say anything at least and you registered that he seemed to really like you.
“maybe we could repeat this some day?” quill asked when the two of you had left arif’s and were walking down the street to portland row.
“yes” you smiled, glad that he was thinking the same as you. you didn’t want to wait until some day though. “how about tomorrow?” you asked “i’m free the entire day”
quill laughed at your eagerness. “tomorrow sounds great. i’m glad you suggested it, i didn’t want to pressure you, but i’d love to meet up again tomorrow”
“good” you breathed relieved. and somehow his agreement seemed to have made you brave, so you quickly added: “i really like you, quill”
“i really like you too”
you stopped in front of the stairs to portland row and on quill’s face rested a lopsided grin, as he noticed the curtains moving and lockwood’s face pop up in the window.
his smile wasn’t mean though. for a short second, the time you had taken to notice lockwood as well, you had thought that he was only smiling because it was annoying the boy. but now it seemed like that was just a plus and he was going to do what he wanted, regardless of lockwood watching or not.
he bend down and pressed a featherlight kiss to your cheeks and the heat entered your face almost immediately.
“bye, y/n” quill waved “i’m gonna call you tomorrow at noon, if that’s alright, then we can arrange something” he was already starting to walk away
“that’s good” you called “hey, wait, what do you want to do tomorrow?”
“whatever you want to do is fine with me” he smiled “i’ll call you!” he assured again, before he finally turned around and walked away
“stop being so smitten with him” you turned your head to look at lockwood, who had opened the front door and was now leaning against the frame.
“i think it’s already too late for that” your eyes returned to quills frame again, that was almost too far away to see.
lockwood sighed. “never have sex in my house”
you walked through the door, giggling at his seriousness. “i won’t promise anything” you laughed, quickly sprinting up the stairs
“what was that?” lockwood called behind you, but you ignored him, just smiling to yourself and feeling excitement bubble in your chest to tell lucy everything.
i’ll just stick to more vague predictions: 2024 is the year of reputation tv! 🐍🖤
rep tv on january 10th! i’m calling it now!! 🖤🐍
marvel masterlist
fluff (f), angst (a), suggestive (s), platonic (p), injury/ blood (w), humor (c)
────────────────────────
❛ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 ❜
────────────────────────
𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 (1.1k)
i wish I could take your pain away too (1.1k) — after pietro's death, you try to comfort your sister (a,p)
────────────────────────
𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐦!𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 (4.3k)
fix me up (1.6k) — there's nothing peter can do to save your life (a)
underneath the tree (1.2k) — you and peter both struggle to find the perfect gift and end up proving why you belong together (f,w)
tolerate it (1.5k) — maybe you and peter had done a good job at ignoring your problems, or maybe there was nothing worth saving anymore (a)
────────────────────────
𝐦𝐜𝐮!𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 (5.1k)
a holly jolly christmas (0.4k) — just a few domestic headcanons about living with the avengers (f)
lacy (2.7k) —peter parker was everything you wanted to be, but you just couldn't hate him for it (f,a,s)
hey stephen (2k) —you and peter have to fix a little mistake one of the avengers made. luckily you're a great team (f,c)
────────────────────────
7 works