Back To December - Tumblr Posts

i don’t know why all the trees change in the fall. now i know why all the trees change in the fall. realized i loved you in the fall. like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all. autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, and i can picture it after all these days. windows flung right open, autumn air, jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours. the autumn chill that wakes me up, you loved the amber skies so much.

in honor of speak now’s birthday…last kiss or dear john? mean or story of us? mine or ours? sparks fly or enchanted? never grow up or innocent? speak now or better than revenge? haunted or back to december? long live or if this was a movie? 

In honor of Speak Now TV's anniversary, reblog with your top 3 from the original 17 tracks + your favorite vault track

Pra mim o mês de dezembro tem exatamente o som dessa música

I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right, I go back to December all the time

—back to december

pairing: quill kipps x fem!reader, ex!anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: you had left lockwood in a night filled with regret and there was nothing you wanted more than to apologise to him

warnings: angst, mention of unwellness, but not specified

notes: this got a bit more lockwood x reader (in a platonic way off) than i had planned lol. sorry :)

"so you're just going to leave?" he let go of your bag and had that look on his face again. a look that almost made you regret everything. but you wouldn't stay. you couldn't.

"i'm sorry" you said and with that you opened the door and left portland row, without ever coming back.

you woke up from someone softly shaking you. "what is wrong, love?" quill asked worriedly.

you looked at him confused, blinking at the light of the night lamp. "huh?"

"you were crying" quill explained

"oh" you adverted your eyes, trying not to think about lockwood and the dream you just had. you weren't going to think about your ex-boyfriend while you were laying in bed with your current one. "sorry, i woke you" you said quickly "it was just a bad dream"

"alright" quill pecked your lips, before he settled down again. you weren't able to go back to sleep, so you stood up and sat down on the couch in the living room, grabbing a book and trying to concentrate on something else.

you were sure those sudden dreams about lockwood and the night you left hadn't come out of nowhere.

there was this mission quill had mentioned. something that involved working with the agency head. of course quill knew about your past relationship, that's how you had met after all, but he had assured that you didn't have to see lockwood if you didn't want to.

"it's fine" you had said "i have to face him at one point"

quill had accepted your decision. you knew that you had to face lockwood, there was no way around it anymore, that didn't mean that you felt good though.

it had been a year since that night and you knew that it was your fault. you had known since that night that he atleast deserved an apology. something you hadn't been able to give him until now.

your relationship with quill had changed your perspective on a lot of things. it had made you realize that you were in a bad state during your relationship with lockwood. you had to llove yourself before you could love anyone else. you had made that clear to quill when you started going out. he had been nothing short of supportive and patient.

it's not that lockwood wouldn't have been, but you couldn't drag him into your mess. not when he had enough on his plate already.

the sun came up quicker than you had anticipated. "since when are you up?" quill walked into the living room barefoot.

"good morning" you smiled, craning your neck so he could kiss you "i wasn't able to go back to sleep after my nightmare"

"so bad huh?" he opened the drapes

"yeah" you shrugged

"was it about lockwood?" he could really read you better than anyone

you sighed, before you nodded

"you don't have to come" quill assured "i can take bobby"

"no" you shook your head "i want to come. i just feel so guilty"

quill's eyes grew softer when he turned to look at you. he sat down beside you and hugged you. "he will understand"

"he was good to me" you muttered "and i just walked away. without any explanation"

"you can explain now"

"i will" you nodded

later that day, you were standing in front of the door of portland row. quill knocked.

george opened the door and to your surprise he smiled and even hugged you. "y/n" he beamed "i haven't seen you in such a long time, how are you?"

"aren't you.. angry?" you threw a glance at quill, who just shrugged

"why would i be angry?" george made a motion for you two to enter the house "lockwood explained everything to us"

"he did?" you asked surprised

"y/n!" lucy rushed down the stairs and almost made you fall over by the force of the hug she was giving you.

you hugged her back. "hey" you muttered into her hair. the smell of the house and the smiles of your friends almost broke your heart. you had missed them. you had missed home.

"hey" lockwood said, entering the hall. he had grown a bit, his suit, that used to be too big, fitting him perfectly now. the bags under his eyes had disppeared and he looked a lot less tired.

"hi" lucy had loosened her hold on you.

"why don't we go into the kitchen to discuss the case?" lockwood suggested and you weren't able to do anything more than nod.

"so where did you find it?" quill pointed at the wrapped up mirror

"we can't tell you that" george crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair

"okay" quill nodded "did you steal it?"

"we also can't tell you that" lucy said excusingly

"well what can you tell us?" quill asked

during the encounter at the kitchen table. lockwood wasn't able to take his eyes off of you. he noticed that you looked healthier than the last time he had seen you. just like you had noticed the positive change about him.

your mind drifted off and you caught lockwoods eyes, who also seemed to be thinking about anything else.

"could we talk?" you whispered

lockwood nodded. "please excuse us" he said and you followed him out of the kitchen and into the library.

"you didn't change anything, did you?" you said, walking around the room and noticing that it was still the same that it had been all those months ago. even the photograph that pictured lockwood and you together hadn't left.

you took it into your hand, watching it closely. the photo had been taken by a stranger when lockwood and you had been on the london eye.

you had only thought about that day a month ago, when quill and you visited the london eye. the memory had hit you suddenly and almost ruined your entire day.

"i remeber this day" you muttered, putting the photo down in it's place

"i do too" lockwood said "a great day" "yeah" you turned around. "what did you tell george and lucy about me leaving?" you asked "i bet it wasn't the truth, no" you shook your head "they wouldn't treat me like this if it was" you looked at the door

"it wasn't exactly a lie either" lockwood shrugged "i told them that you needed time. that you weren't well and that you couldn't do that while you were here"

"lockwood" you muttered

"you look happy" he said "healthier and better than when we last talked"

"it's been so long" you mumbled

"a year and fourteen days" lockwood added "i thought about everything a lot"

"why aren't you screaming at me?" you asked with tears in your eyes "i just left and ruined everything"

"you did what you had to do"

"i hurt you"

"still"

"why do you always have to be this good to me?" you cried "why can't you just be angry?"

"because i'm not" he touched your arm to comfort you "and i won't pretend i am just because it's easier for you"

"i'm sorry" another tear escaped your eye "for everything. i wish i could go back and change things, i'm sorry fur hurting you"

"i know" he hugged you

"i wish i could've loved you right"

"i do too" he admitted "but i know that back then you weren't able to do that, even if you wanted it so badly"

"i always cherished our time together, but i wasn't the version of myself you needed" you explained "i think that you look much healthier too"

"i am much healthier"

"great" you smiled "i won't ever say that the way i handled it was right, because it wasn't, but i think we both needed to heal individually, we couldn't do it together"

"i agree" lockwood smiled back softly "and even if i'm not angry, i'm still glad that you came to apologise"

"i hope it wasn't too late"

"it never was" he assured "maybe we can be friends again some day, but for now, just know that i will always love you"

"i will always love you too"

"and i'm glad that we met, even if it ended badly" he send you a last assuring smile. "come on" and with that you followed him back into the kitchen, sitting back down in your seat, while quill took your hand, squeezing it softly.

lockwood noticed the gesture and smiled at you. you smiled back. everything was alright again.

Back to December

Pairing- Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

Summary- You broke up with him because you thought he deserved someone better than you. But here you stand, outside his door, apologising for that night, after realising you loved him too much to let him go. Based on Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.

Warnings- angstttt but fluff at the end, hurt/comfort, no curses!au, swearing (maybe), slight ooc suguru (hes called clumsy hehe), probably my english lol.

Word count- 2.3k (excluding lyrics)

A/N- atp yall just know how much big of a swiftie I am lol. So here’s a new fic based on another taylor song haha. And from now on I will write for JJK fandom too coz i’m obsessed lmao. Let me know if you find any mistakes coz this isn’t proofread and hope y’all enjoy.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You knocked three times on the door of the house you knew all too well as you picked your nails.

Will he want to see you? Will he shout at you? Will he tell you to get lost? Whatever he does, you knew you deserved it.

You stood outside his door impatiently, nerves getting the best of you while you waited for him to open the door. You could hear things falling down from behind it.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always the clumsy one. One of his things which you missed too much. Your eyes fell on thought of this. Oh how much you wished for a change in your mind back then.

You heard the lock of the door being undone and you started to freak out from inside. Was it a good idea to come here? Maybe. You were about to find out.

“Sorry for the delay. I was caught up-” You heard his voice quiet down when he saw you. God how much you missed his voice. You could listen to his voice every second of the day if possible.

You’ve been good, busier than ever

"Y/N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he took in your presence on his doorstep, as if he was making sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

The way he said your name, ached your heart. Because it wasn’t filled with love or warmth as before, instead it was more like recognising a stranger.

You took a deep breath before speaking, “long time no see, Suguru.” You smiled slightly.

He couldn’t believe it. He never thought he’d ever see you again after that unfaithful night. The wishes he made to see you every night before he went to bed actually came true. He could actually hear your voice after whole six months. He felt like he was about to cry.

Your guard is up and I know why

All he wanted to do at this moment was to take you in his arms and never let you go again. But he knew he couldn’t. What if you were here to make things even more awful than they already were? He couldn’t handle another heartbreak. So he stood his ground and decided to talk to you in a civil way.

“Come inside. It’ll start s-snowing soon.” He said, mentally cursing himself for stammering as he stepped aside to let you in.

“Thank you.” You muttered before entering his house. The familiar feeling came back to you. The aura and memories of his house, where you had spent countless nights together crashed into your mind like ocean waves. It was overwhelming and you did your best not to burst into tears.

“I’ll bring you something to drink. You can make yourself comfortable till then.” You heard him speak as he quickly walked into the kitchen.

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You knew he was doing his best to avoid a more than casual conversation with you. Because the last time you had talked, things turned bitter.

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

You still remembered that day like the back of your hand. He had showed up at your house with roses to surprise you and take you out on a surprise date. And you, being a stupid person, ruined it all.

“Here. I didn’t have anything else except for hot chocolate plus I know how much you love it.” He said handing you the cup filled with hot chocolate, his voice becoming a soft mutter at the last part.

‘He still remembers my likes and dislikes.’ You thought as you smiled softly at him and took the cup, your hands brushing a little. Your cheeks immediately turn red as you tried to hide them, while Suguru thanked the gods that his red cheeks won’t be obvious because it’s winter.

I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right

But you knew him. You were slightly relieved you still had some effects on him like before. How much you regretted leaving him like that. If only you could go back time and make things right.

You took a sip of your hot chocolate before speaking, “thanks for the hot chocolate, Suguru.”

Geto thought he’d just die right now. The way you said his name, it made him want to forget everything that happened and just hold you into his arms, never letting you go again. But he knew he couldn’t do that.

After some long moments of silence, you decided to break it and said, “how have you been, Suguru?”

“I’ve been- good.” He said with a pause in between. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know his mental state ever since you had left. “What about you?”

You couldn’t repeat his answer for this question, because you knew it was far from the truth. You couldn’t quite recall the last time you slept peacefully. Maybe it was when you were in Suguru’s arms, safe and loved.

Staying up playing back myself leaving

Your mind replayed memories of that unfaithful night, as if trying to torture you for what you had done. It had started to hurt physically. How much you just wanted apologise and hold him into your arms. But you knew you had lost that right. Why? Because of your stupid insecurities.

You had been in a few relationships in the past apart from Geto. And you were always called out for every little thing you did. Whether it was from the way you ate, or the way you talked, they’d make sure to remind you that you weren’t enough and weird, until they all left you alone. This lead you to believe the same, that you were the problem.

That was until you met Suguru. He was everything you could ask in a man. He was charming, a true gentleman, kind and caring boyfriend who never failed to remind you how much you mean to him.

And I think about Summer, all the beautiful times

You often daydreamed about all your memories from your relationship, from sneaking out at night to late night car drives, from celebrating each other’s birthdays to forgetting plans you’d made with your other friends. Your relationship with him was something you read in books about.

You still remembered the day when you realised that he was the guy you were going to marry someday. You had overheard him talking to Gojo about you. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but when he mentioned your name, your ears had perked up. And the way be kept on talking about how amazing you were and how much he loved you, you knew he was the one for you.

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept right into my mind

But of course you had to ruin it all. The ‘what if’ thoughts came back to you. The thought of losing him because you weren’t good enough for him, scared you. You had told him about your past relationships, and he always reminded you that you are more than enough for him and he loves you with all of his heart.

Fuck your stupid negativity. You tried to believe him, you really did. But your mind wouldn’t let you. So it lead you to the one thing which you knew you were going to regret for the rest of your life. You let him go. And you hated yourself for it.

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

You still remembered the way his face had immediately fallen the moment you spoke those words. He had tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen. And you had slammed the door shut on his face.

Geto didn’t stop bombarding your phone with countless texts and missed calls for days. But you didn’t reply to any of them. Until one day he stopped. Maybe he realised that he was just wasting time being after you. Maybe he realised that you were the problem after all.

It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

Wishing I’d realised what I had when you were mine

You thought you had did the right thing but turns out, you didn’t. You had only made things worse for both of you. Because you know what they say, you only realise the value of something when its gone. And it turns out that you had loved him too much. You couldn’t let him go. Because you had realised that he was too precious for you to let go and you couldn’t survive without him.

So here you were, six months later, on his couch, drinking hot chocolate. You slowly came out of your thoughts and said the only thing which came into your mind, “I’m sorry.”

To say Geto was surprised was an understanding. He expected anything but an apology from you tonight. Blame him for being conscious and hurt. He didn’t say anything, giving the cue to continue.

“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” You started, trying your best not to sob, “I know this is probably the last thing you expect from me and won’t believe me but I mean it. I’m really sorry. I’m such a fucked up person, who always makes things worse, ruins perfectly going on lives of people, who always lives in self-doubts.”

“Y/N, I-”, Geto started to say something but you cut him off before he could say it.

“Please let me finish.” Geto nodded in response.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry

“I miss everything about you, about us. I miss how every morning you didn’t fail to wish me ‘good morning’, I miss how you never forgot to check up on me, I miss how you always found a way to make me feel special. I miss how you always held me close to you whenever I didn’t feel like myself. And most of all, I miss the way you used to love me.” You said, tears now falling uncontrollably from your eyes but you don’t care, determined to make things right.

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t

So you continued, “thing is that I love you, Suguru Geto. And I love you too much to let you go. I made a stupid move by letting you go when all I wanted to do was hold you into my arms. And I hate myself for it. These past six months, I’ve been terrible. There’s not been a single day where I have not wished for myself to be somehow able to go back in time and make things right, stop myself from leaving. But I know I can’t.” You took a deep breath.

So if the chain is on your door I understand

“I know my actions are not something to be easily forgiven, but I promise to do anything to win your trust and love back. I’m willing to change. I’m willing to make things up with you. I swear that if you take me back again, I will love you right and never let you go. Because I have realised my life is nothing if you’re not in it. Please take me back, Suguru. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love.” You couldn’t speak anything after this, sobs continuously escaping your mouth.

Geto stood there, tears in his eyes as well, contemplating what to say. Your apology had caught him off guard, but he knew you had meant every word. He knew that his life was incomplete without you too.

But this is me swallowing my pride

You didn’t hear him speak for a good few minutes, so you take his silence as rejection. Of course he would reject you. You had hurt him, why would he want to get back with someone like you. You let out a shaky breath as a sigh, disappointment for you escaping through it as you stood up.

Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night

You attempted to smile through your tears. If this was going to be the last time you see him, might as well say goodbye with a smile.

“I got your answer, Suguru. Thank you for giving me best moments of my life. Maybe I didn’t get to have you back, but at least I can live on with your memories. Maybe I-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as you felt a pair of all too familiar lips on yours, shutting you up.

It turns our freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

You widened your eyes from surprise but immediately shut them as you kissed back, your hands reaching to hug his neck, bringing him closer to you. Suguru wrapped his one arm around your waist and other made its way in your nape, holding you just like he always used to.

Both of you could taste salty tears as you kissed, but weren’t sure who’s they were. All that mattered in that moment was the two of you. You poured all of your love, apprehensions, bottled up feelings for him, regrets into this kiss. He kissed you with same passion. As if your lips were the only thing he needed to survive.

Few moments later, Geto pulled away, foreheads still attached to yours, as he looked into your eyes. “Y/N, in these six months, you made me realise that the only thing which can complete me whole is you. Not getting to tell you these was tearing me apart. I thought I had lost you for good, but then you showed up at my door and all those feelings I had for you doubled. I love all of you, Y/N and I always will. And I’m willing to give us another chance, just promise me that you will talk to me next time you have those negative thoughts.”

Your heart melted hearing his words as you nodded, “I promise.”

Suguru ran his hand through your hair as he spoke again, “and I-I’ll need some time to completely forgive you. I hope you understand that. I’m just scared that you’ll leave me again.”

You quickly shook your head, “I mean it this time, Suguru. I’d never even dream of leaving you. I just got you back. And it’s okay. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for you, even if it is for an eternity.”

Suguru smiled at your words and pulled you into his chest as he swayed you slowly, holding you tightly close to him, and you finally felt complete again. You kissed his neck as you returned his gesture, silently promising him and yourself to never give up on him and let him go ever again.

I’d go back to December all the time

________________________________________

Ahhh I loved writing angst sm but it always breaks my heart if it doesn’t end with fluff. Anyways hope y’all liked this and if you want, you can send in request for JJK characters too!

(I might’ve gotten a little carried away at the end but i think it was worth it lmao)

And I go back to December all the time⁣ It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you⁣ ⁣ Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine⁣ ⁣ I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right⁣ I go back to December all the time⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣💜 ⁣⁣⁣💜 ⁣⁣⁣💜