Gustav Janouch, Conversations With Kafka

Gustav Janouch, Conversations with Kafka

I am in the middle of that road where you discover that no matter if we love/like/admire/adore a person, it gives them no right or license to put us down. We should never let anybody feed onto our insecurities, even if that means loosing that anybody. Because people gone leave a space that can be filled later on. But once that love for oneself leaves, it leaves not a void, but an abyss.

"I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while."

Haruki Murakami

People often have callous ways to talk to us- even the ones who we are pretty much attached to. That is one issue. Another one is that we are expected to take all the callousness, rudeness and harsh treatment as a joke because they don't mean it. And if we allow ourselves to feel hurt, we are not cool enough. Being cool means laughing at things that should be scoffed at. Is it?!?

I need it viciously- for people to draw clear bold lines about jokes and seriousness. You don't get to joke about my insecurities. You don't get to call me mean things. You don't get to make me feel like an unimportant unworthy piece of ruin who deserves anything but kindness. Sorry, I don't approve.

Do not walk away easily. Don't give up too soon. But when you do, make sure you erase your footsteps that you leave behind as you walk away. Make sure you forget the way of getting back from where you left. Make sure you don't put yourself through the same test again and again.

To say I want all the material luxuries of the world is too old school. Instead, I want my own personal battlefield and a shiny sword in my hands. I want to fight like a warrior not with the people, but with the thoughts. The thoughts that cloud my mind, making attempts to conquer my consistently. The only problem - I am alone on my side and they have a huge army.

-Vanshika Singh, My Monologue with myself