Typically

Typically

This makes many references to No Regrets (an insight on Levi before he enrolled in the Scouts.) I also tried a new writing style, so please, give me feedback!

includes: Erwin, Levi

warnings: alcoholic themes, depression, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions

length: 2,028 words

•°•°•°•

Erwin Smith was typically content in his mattress by 10:30, praying to whatever gods that may (or may not) be out there that his slumber would be blissful and refreshing. He typically knew of his subordinates' locations and their relative mental states this late into any given night. He typically had most of his paperwork signed and stacked into a neat, organized pile.

Though tonight, as trepidation rolled over him in slow, progressing waves, Erwin Smith was neither content nor situated in a well-put-together office. He did not know where the Captain was or when the elusive man would return. He did not know beforehand that multiple contracts would need the Captain's signature. Hell, Erwin did not know if Levi could even write in cursive. At the moment, he did not know a lot of things.

Erwin wasn't exactly enthusiastic about experiencing these feelings of troubling uncertainty.

The dense thud of staggering boots on the half-rotted wooden flooring impeded Erwin's vexing thoughts. Moving from his spot by the window that overlooked the training grounds, he hastily stalked towards his office door. Yet as his fingertips were mere inches from the handle, the door slammed open, catching the Commander off guard.

Erwin back-stepped as no one other than Levi himself lost his footing from kicking the door open. The door frame was the only thing that aided Levi's attempt at steadying his balance; Erwin was far too focused on darting his bewildered eyes over Levi's condition.

Was the blunt and foul-mouthed Levi Ackerman. . . Drunk?

No, that couldn't be right. The man despised everything about alcohol: the lasting effects, the heavy smell, the noxious health problems. Every time the Corps tried to get Levi to drink, he had remarked about booze being nothing more than poison marketed as a miracle tonic. But, what else could explain the unfocused eyes that were typically sharp and observant or the swaying small frame that was typically nimble and composed?

"Have you been drinking, Levi? You look terrible."

The vicious scowl Erwin received told him that the way he worded his concern was extremely misinterpreted.

"Oh, fuck you, jackass. Not everyone can look like a shining star, Smith." Levi's words were unnaturally slurred, further proving what Erwin refused to accept. "Get outta my way and let me in."

Erwin cautiously stepped to the side- as he'd rather keep this peculiar sight to himself and spare the Captain's dignity. Levi's shoulder shoved against Erwin's bicep as he stumbled into the Commander's office. A snarl remarking Erwin's height was woven into the tense atmosphere of the room.

"Where have you been?" Erwin asked as he gently shut the door, keeping an apprehensive gaze on Levi.

He simply received a distracted scoff. Erwin took a deep breath before he huffed out of his nose. He watched as Levi fumbled through various unlocked drawers in search of who-knows-what.

"Levi-"

"Where's your Devil's water, Smith?" Erwin narrowed his eyes in confusion before Levi, belligerently, elaborated. "Your liquor, dip-shit. Where have you stashed it?"

Erwin pressed his lips into a thin line before he offered a calculated answer, "I don't hide alcohol in my office." A spiteful string of obscenities left Levi's swollen lips, the drunk balling his fist tight by his sides. "Liar! You're a filthy deceiver, you know that? You're worth less than the shit in the stables! A sleaze bag from the Underground would be more helpful than you!"

Erwin paused, studying Levi like Hange would study a Titan. "Are you okay, Levi?" He knew the question was redundant the moment the words left his lips.

“Fuck!” Levi yelled, tugging on his already loose cravat. “Am I okay? What kind of bullshit question is that? Hell, my uncle used to tell me that life’s like a toilet paper roll; you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole- and you know what? You’re that asshole, Smith!”

"Be careful of the open window, Levi," Erwin warned, as polished and unwavering as ever. His indifference to the slew of insults and profanities made Levi's blood boil.

Erwin only moved closer when the Captain disregarded his warning and continued to near the dangerously open casement. Erwin tuned out the vulgarities that were continuously hurled at him with an intense enmity, the gears clicking together in his head.

There was a chance Levi's destination was through the window- a chance Erwin was not willing to take.

"What are you doing? You're going to fall out," Erwin said more forcefully.

The change in the Commander's tone didn't seem to phase Levi, who was resting his forearms on the window sill. As Levi's weight shifted to his unstable upper body, Erwin could feel his heartbeat pounding in his throat, temples, fingertips- everywhere except his chest.

Levi went quiet, his drunken tantrum utterly forgotten as childlike wonder filled his eyes. In the moment of calm after the storm, Erwin couldn't fail to notice that Levi looked so much younger when he wasn't so pent up. The Captain was significantly more demonstrative when he was intoxicated; and may it be good or bad, Erwin was content with Levi seeming mortal.

"He used to hate heights, and she smoked him for it," Levi broke the moment of silence with hardly a whisper. "It was all a game to her."

Erwin's features, which were glazed over with faux insouciant, didn't match the curious gaze he studied Levi with. He stood inert, fearful of scaring Levi into a diligent silence or another aggressive episode. Erwin didn't ask for extensive details, nor did he implore Levi to move away from the window again. He simply waited, having an idea of what was plaguing his inebriated soldier's mind.

"You know, when you found me, we were heading to get a job done," Levi spoke so softly that Erwin felt the need to hold his breath to hear him properly.

The Commander took Levi's brief pause as an opening to speak, despite having nothing to say. "Is that so?"

Levi exhaled something grim; something that nearly sounded like an empty chuckle. "Yeah, Smith, it is."

Levi ignored how Erwin wearily moved closer as he adjusted himself further out of the window. The Captain relished in a twisted feeling of pride knowing that he could make his superior jump to aid him, that he could make the man twitch with such a deep sense of uneasiness- so much so that it shone in his perceptive blue eyes.

"Levi, get away from-"

"He was so nervous for the mission, despite it being so. . . " Levi swayed his hand through the night air, searching for the right word after cutting Erwin, and his concerns, off. "So pointless," is what he settled for.

"It was just a run-through," he huffed out a sigh, "check the brothel for any kids, start trouble if there were. Then, haul ass to the surface to get the brats to somewhere safer. Simple, right?"

Erwin swallowed, his gaze settling on Levi's reflection in the mirror.

"But, something always has to fuck me over," Levi spat with a clenched jaw, capturing the window sill in an iron grip. "Isn't that right?! You simply adore dancing all of your puppets around until they can't take it anymore- but you don't stop, do you?!" Levi screamed at the full moon in the sky.

Erwin sharply exhaled through his nose, Levi swaying side to side like empty ODM gear in the breeze. Levi swore and stretched his fingers out to relieve the tension in them.

"I bumped into a guy whose ego was as big as his body. The bastard was huge and wouldn't let it go." Levi hung his head, the stars bringing back memories he'd rather forget. "I think you were there when we had settled the issue and took off."

Erwin remembers like it happened yesterday. He could never forget the first time he saw Levi fly on the Wings of Revolution; it was enchanting.

Levi outstretched his arm, one foot leaving the floor as he reached to the giant moon glowing against the night sky.

"Levi, you need to stop being heedless, or you'll fall and end up dead!" Erwin finally snapped, his hand darting to grab Levi's. He missed his target, the shorter one moving unexpectedly and making Erwin snatch his pale forearm.

The wind from the chill night ruffled the forgotten paperwork on Erwin's desk, Levi's eerily hollow chuckle overlaying the white noise. Empty steel-gray finally looked into Erwin's ocean blues, heavy-lidded and worn thin.

"Don't you know I'm stupid? The hell does 'heedless' mean, blondie?" Levi wore a painful grin.

Erwin furrowed his brow in worry, loosening his grip but not letting go. "Careless," he said gently, thumbing fondly at Levi's flushed skin. "It means. . . Careless."

Levi's bottom lip trembled, and Erwin swore he saw his small body twitch with a hiccup. "Maybe that's what I want, Commander- to end up dead," Levi breathed, sending a cold surge through Erwin.

"Hey, don't say that," Erwin said quickly in a hushed tone. His free hand gently cupped Levi's shoulder.

"Why not?" Levi's voice was so small. It scared Erwin. "Every time I shut my eyes at night, all I see is their faces, hear them call my name." Erwin could feel Levi trembling.

"I know, Levi. By the walls, I know how it feels to begin to go numb. How it is to lose everything close to you, and still need to press onwards," Erwin murmured.

"Oh, sure. You see the face of every comrade that you've sent to death in your dreams. I'm sure you remember each and every soldier." The sarcastic bite in Levi's tone made Erwin unhand the man's arm.

"Excuse me. . ?" Erwin breathed, stupidly hoping he had misheard Levi.

"You don't know how it feels to be looked at like a human shit stain for simply trying to survive! You're just Mr. Fucking Perfect, right?" Levi's fruitless attempt to push Erwin away by his chest only agitated the blonde.

"Another pompous asshole that wouldn't hesitate to judge me from getting on all fours back then just to be able to eat twice a week!" Levi's (false) accusations were making Erwin increasingly angry.

"You're no different than everyone in the Capital-"

"You'd better watch your mouth, Ackerman."

Levi sucked in a short breath so quickly, it made his throat dry up; though, that might've been caused by the snarl of his surname. He didn't get another chance to speak as Erwin loomed over his frame.

"Who gave you an escape route when you had nowhere else to turn? Was it the Capital? Who was it that believed in you when everyone else wanted you to hang? The Capital, perhaps? Apologies, my memory is hazy."

Levi had seen Erwin agitated, seen him berate cadets and superiors alike with no backlash. But the man was always so poised and assured. Sure, the unsettlingly strong fire behind his crystal eyes was never smothered, but it was not once openly expressed.

Until now.

It had Levi- the nephew of Kenny the Ripper, the Captain of the 104th Cadet Corp, Humanity's Strongest Soldier- intimidated enough to shrink in on himself.

"I don't mean to scare you, Levi. I truly don't. But when you have the audacity to lump me into the crowd of discriminatory pedophiles and rapists? After everything I have done for you?" Erwin scoffed, ending his rant.

"I-I... I'm-"

"I don't want you to apologize. It's difficult to believe that you would. It's just not like you," Erwin swallowed thickly as Levi sniffled.

"Levi, I-" Erwin cut himself off, clenching his jaw.

Want you. Need you.

I think I'm in love with you. What a dream it would be to say. But he shouldn't. And he won't.

"You should sober up here while I get work done. How does that sound?" Erwin felt the urge to vomit after those words burned off his tongue.

"Thank you," Levi hardly whispered. "Thank you, Erwin."

Closing his eyes tightly, Erwin nodded, leading Levi to the couch the was sitting against the sidewall.

"Of course, Levi. I would do anything for you."

fluff prompt list

"Quit stealing all the pillows!"

"You want a bite?"

"Give me a second and I'll show you."

"What should we name it?"

"You're a dork."

"Why are your feet so cold?"

"Stop that, I'm ticklish!"

"Your hands are so warm!"

"You smell really nice."

"Your hair is so soft."

"You're my new pillow."

"Turn around, I'm giving you a massage."

"I think I love you."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Hold my hand."

"It's not morning yet."

"Stay a little longer?"

"You're so perfect."

"I'll always be here for you."

"You were right all along."

"Take my coat, it's cold out here."

"You've got some flour on your cheek."

"You could just put your feet in my lap, you know."

"I wouldn't change a thing about you."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"We could try cuddling."

"Stop being so cute."

"Are you okay?"

"Our relationship is the most important thing in my life."

"You can sleep, I'll keep you safe."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

"It wasn't your fault."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh! You're jealous!"

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"I missed you so much."

"Give me attention."

"When I'm with you, I'm home."

"Is that my shirt?"

"This is new."

"Would you just hold still?"

"You're family."

"They didn't deserve you."

"Rumor has it, I make you nervous."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"You seem all tough, but I know it's all an act. You're a softie."

"Funny, coming from you."

"Really? Right now?"

"Let's go somewhere- anywhere!" Heavily inspired by @merakiaes so go look at their page- they're amazing!

Most People

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when a tsunami hits, most people are rushed out of any dangerous areas with great urgency. feeling the murky water trickle against their jaw, they let go of the prison bars in bitter resentment.

most people.

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Happy Pride Month fellow queers!

Remember to be safe and have fun!

Silent Scream

I had to repost this because of some issues that I caused, so if you wouldn't mind showing it the same amount of love 😅

includes: Bakugo, Aizawa, Class 1-A, All Might warnings: big boy sad times for everyone length: roughly 512 words- listen it’s currently 4am, don’t come from my throat other: Not the basic title, uhm, chile anyways so- That was the night when he finally understood why people fear silence. Bakugo was a shaking, trembling mess of tears and sweat as he sat curled up in the corner of his dorm room. He couldn’t hear the heavy sobs that racked his body as his fingers gripped his hair tightly, threatening to pull it out.  Mr. Aizawa sat in the common room on the first floor, accompanied by All Might and the other students. The air felt heavy and tense like the slightest movement would cause the entire building to collapse. “Was he hit with a quirk, Sensei?” The question came from Kirishima, tone worried and innocent. Aizawa almost didn’t have the heart to tell them any part of the truth. Midoriya was silent, quieter than the rest of the students as he clung to his journal like a lifeline. He knew. He knew this would eventually happen.  As All Might failed to stop himself from tearing up, Aizawa explained. “Bakugo wasn’t hit by a quirk from someone else. We think he’s gone deaf,” The teacher cut himself off to calm himself down before his eyes watered as well. “We think Bakugo’s explosions were damaging his eardrums every time he used them. Unlike Present Mic, Bakugo’s body doesn’t protect him from his quirk.” Aizawa took a shaky breath, speaking more to himself now as the class let that sink in, “No wonder he was always yelling.” Denki blinked, mouth going dry before he opened it to speak, and yet he never got the chance. A heart twisting scream tore down the stairs and through the hallways, stabbing through each soul the noise reached. Kirishima sobbed, screwing his eyes shut as the sound of pure agony continued to twist into the air, mixed with crying hiccups before it stopped. Sero averted his eyes from everyone while Mina placed her hand on Kiri’s back, her body quivering like a leaf in the wind. Midoriya’s hands nearly tore his notebook in half before Todoroki stopped him by setting a gentle hand on his. Their teacher flinched, and All Might harshly casting his gaze to the floor. “I’ll check on him,” The retired pro hero said softly, only looking at Aizawa when the man had placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Don’t,” He breathed, knowing his student better than anyone. “He’ll think he failed you. Let me go, stay here and comfort the students,” Aizawa whispered to All Might. The former hero could tell that his friend was struggling to hold himself together as well. Bakugo knew he was screaming, he could feel the vibrations in his throat. So why couldn’t he hear anything?! He started panicking in the darkness of his dorm room. They’d kick him from the hero course for sure. Who needs a deaf hero?  The sudden, gentle hand on his knees startled the poor boy so bad that he almost blew up his teacher on reflex. Aizawa was sitting on the floor with him, an easy look on his face. Bakugo wasn’t the best at reading lips, but he understood what Aizawa mouthed to him. It will be okay. Just breathe.

Free Falling

includes: Dabi, Hawk, Endeavor

warnings: Mentions of suicide, nightmares

length: 1,082 words

There was a gleam in the blue eyes as they gazed over the city from above. The bottom of Dabi's long jacket fluttered against his scarred ankles as the smokey breeze whirled around him. The gut-wrenching smell of decay and burning body's turned the air stale, and his mind numbed as he thought about what he had lost.

It was happening again, history repeating itself as he was left with no solution.

The all too familiar pain, fear, and soul-crushing hopelessness coursed through every fiber of his being while he watched his world burn. 

A snarl sounded from behind him, the demanding voice making his body tense even after all of these years. "Your base is nothing but rubble, your boss is dead, your friends have been locked away in the most secure asylum this side of the world. You have no one else on your side, no more hideaways left standing for you to flee to. Surrender, Dabi."

Dabi chuckled softly, but the sound appeared to be unsteady as he turned to face the person he despised. Blazing blue eyes locked onto the number one hero, his father, Endeavor. 

"Have I ever surrendered to you, Enji? Even after the endless days of training, the beatings, the insults… Have I ever given up?" Dabi breathed, fingers twitching by his side as he started to mentally prepare for the pain his godforsaken quirk brought. 

Endeavor's face hardened and the beard of flames on his face seemed to flare up furiously. 

"Who are you?" Endeavor practically demanded an answer as he stepped closer to the villain. Dabi took a step back towards the edge of the building, determined to keep the distance between them. 

“Isn’t that a shame,” Dabi muttered with a scoff while his hands clenched into a fist. “Can’t even remember what your fucking son looks like, can you? You never did bother to care about such trivial things anyway.”

Endeavor froze almost instantly, his facial features violently contorting into mixed emotions of confusion and something Dabi couldn’t quite place. Was it fear? No, Enji couldn’t possibly fear anything. Dabi had learned that lesson a long time ago after personally putting his father through hell. 

“Touya,” Endeavor’s quiet realization was cut off suddenly by his son's sharp tone.

“You don’t have the right to speak my name,” he spat, blue flames sparking in the palms of his hands for only a second. He grimaced, never breaking eye contact as he spat out blood from the corner of his mouth. “Not after what you’ve done to me.”

Endeavor swallowed around the lump in his throat before moving closer, abruptly stopping when Dabi moved his heels to the edge of the building’s rooftop.

“Take even a step towards me, old man, and I’ll jump,” Dabi threatened, eyes narrowing almost daringly.

And suddenly, Endeavor remembered the frantic, fearful, yet determined look that Touya used to always glare at him with. A heavy sigh left him as he stood tall, not moving an inch as he watched his son closely.

“I thought I had lost you for good,” Endeavor admitted under his breath, watching as Dabi snarled like a rabid animal. 

“You have,” Dabi remarked without missing a beat. “Touya is gone, all thanks to you and your god damned dream for me. You’ve killed him, and nothing you can do will change that.”

“And you’ve killed countless innocent lives,” Endeavor growled. “What did they do to deserve death?”

Dabi gritted his teeth as he forced the tears from his eyes by sheer will. “What did I do to deserve you as a father?! What unspeakable evil did I commit before I was born to get you of all people as a parent?! Mom didn’t do any wrong- I didn’t do any wrong! So why,” His voice broke as he bared his teeth. “Why was I unfortunate enough to have you shove your goals down my throat after you couldn’t achieve them yourself?”

Endeavors throat felt dry as his eyes followed the trails of blood seeping from Dabi’s staples and scar lines. The sudden outburst had torn his burned skin. Endeavor didn’t know it, but this happened quite often, though typically when Dabi was alone.

“I needed to make you stronger,” Endeavor said coldly. What did Dabi expect? He knew his father was heartless.

“So I could fall into the mindless and shitty lives of heroes? I’m glad I passed,” Dabi swallowed thickly before a wicked smile spread over his features. “Tell Shoto to kick you in the dick for me.”

Endeavors eyes widened as Dabi outstretched his arms and fell backward without a second thought. Dabi saw his father’s large hand reach out to grab him, to stop him, and, by everyone else’s definition, save him. Yet Endeavor was too late. Dabi was free falling to his death.

A broken laugh sounded through the air as Dabi relaxed, watching the blood from his wounds fall with him through the air. Smoke was surrounding him as he quickly grew closer to the ground, blurring his vision slightly. 

Someone yelled incoherent words below him, followed by demands of where to stand. Yet Dabi didn’t pay enough attention to understand. The sweet embrace of death he wanted was so close he could almost taste it. His eyes shut gently and he smiled wider than he has before in his short life.

Dabi gasped sharply, bolting upright as his eyes shot open, his fingers twisting in the blanket. He was hyperventilating, body shaking as he failed to get his bearings. The tired grumble next to him slowly brought him back to reality.

“Touya?” It was Keigo, and concern was blending with the fatigue in his voice. “Hey, c’mere… It was just a nightmare. Let me hold you, Staples. Calm down for me, yeah?. I’m right here.”

Dabi swallowed thickly, running a quivering hand through his hair as he slowed his breathing. “Okay,” He whispered, earning a gentle hum from his lover. “Okay,” He repeated, this time more to himself than to the person next to him.

As he laid back down on his side, Keigo threw a protective arm over his waist, and he gazed blankly at the wall. His boyfriend started humming sleepily, making a good attempt at lulling Dabi back to sleep.

Dull eyes started to blur as he laid there limply, the humming failing to distract his mind as he thought. 

What have I done to deserve any of this? The good or the bad, why me?