Thougths - Tumblr Posts
Our love was Baby blue leather jacket And sunflowers Our love was Second grade "What do you want to be when you grow up" And the "What do you like on your pizza" question Our love was Lullabies on the piano Heart in timezone tatters Our love was More I miss you Than I love you Our love was Cute animals GIF's And orange juice Our love was Not knowing of the broken or the healing But just knowing you are helping Our love was Me trying to be happy Just for you Because you made me want to
The Belgium Boy, The Boyfriend Boy Excerpt from the poem The Ways In Which I have Been Loved
Always remember how much you wanted to be loved
Fast jeder von uns begeht diesen Fehler, nach jemanden zu suchen, der einen vervollständigt...Es wird nach jemanden gesucht, der uns glücklich macht...Jemand, der diese Lücke in unserem Leben füllt..Haben sie dann jemanden gefunden, werden sie irgendwann nach einigen Monaten oder Jahren feststellen, dass da immer noch diese Leere ist..
wir blamieren und betrügen unsere Partner, zerstören vielleicht sogar ganze Familien.. und ersetzen die bisherigen Menschen für jemanden von dem wir uns so viel mehr versprechen..
Jemand, der uns mehr verspricht.. schönere Dinge ins Ohr säuselt..Jemand, bei dem wir denken, "dieser Mensch würde mich soviel glücklicher machen.."
So geht das immer weiter..bis wir irgendwann kapieren, dass nicht andere dafür zuständig sind, diese Leere in uns zu füllen. Denn nur wir selbst können uns glücklich machen und dürfen nicht erwarten, dass andere das für uns tun!
Und wenn man reif genug ist, erkennt man, dass der frühere Partner bereits dieses Lücke in unserem Leben geschlossen hatte... Wir haben nur vergeblich nach Etwas gesucht, dass das Loch in unserem Herzen füllt.. und der Grund warum es nicht ging war, dass das Loch in unserem Herzen bereits gefüllt war.
Always remember how much you wanted to be loved and how much you are loved.
inspired by desperate housewives <3
Sometimes i just want to be around people. Not necesserily my closed one. Have that party with few persons. Eat good foods, have amazing cake, some drinks, talks, few games, listen some good music or watch some movies. I guess i just need their presence and maybe their auras so i can feel that im alive.
I wonder when did i started lose myself and grow when battle is our lifetime and silence is our way of grieving
My 2020 goes to two strands of my gray hair, 13 spots of mole, my once bruised spine, my bang, and Tyler Gregory Okonma and his musicality.
tonight is new episode of dali and the cocky prince!!
me: what are you trying to do today?
head: die *lazily sprawl on bed with my books and phone*
you keep texting me and i keep ignoring you. not because i want to, but because it’s just hurt so much.
let’s get drunk together so i can kiss you and blame it on vodka
America is such a strange concept
Sometimes i wonder about how strange America is.
it's a single country the size of a continent (yes I know that Canada isn't America)
you all speak the same language
The last one fills my head a lot. I don't think you Americans realise how wild that is.
I'm European for context. I can easily travel to a bunch of different contries very easily. All countries in Europe have widly different cultures and languages - the latter is my real point.
I cannot speak french. I cannot speak spanish. I know a few words, but I cannot keep a conversation in any of them.
I see a lot of Americans on the internet talking about "being bilingual". That word fascinates me. Bilingual. Two-language-speaker. It's only really attributed to people with immigrant parents - not people who've learnt a language on purpose. I sense this weird respect around the word, like your something special if you can speak more than one language. The thing is, bilingualism is'nt really a thing in Europe. The majority of people in Europe is at least bilingual to some degree, if not trilingual. Otherwise you would only be able to visit your own country. If I wanted to visit Bulgaria or The Chech Republic, I would have to seek out people who also can speak english, since that is the only language I speak other than my native tongue.
And english isn't always European's second language. Sometimes it's french, other times german or spanish. Depends on the generation really.
However, in America you don't have this problem. You could literally fly from one end of the continent to the other and still be able to talk to basically anyone. Maybe they have a different accent, but at whole you understand each other. You could go to England, or Australia and still just get by with your mothertongue!!! That is insane!!!
If I wanted to write with someone let's say 1.500 km away (that's around 930 miles for the Americans) I would have a language barrier. We would both translate our thoughts to another language and then back to our mother tongue. If an American wrote with someone 1.500 km away they would both use their mother tongue. Heck, you could talk to someone 4.000 km (2.000 miles) away and still speak your mother tongue!
And now for the size: I didn't understand states for the longest time. I thought Americans were stupid for not understanding the difference between countries and states. I think I understand now. States are more like countries than councils. They all have so different climates. I can't remember the name or place for all of Americas states, so it makes sense for Americans not being able to place Europe's countries. And the Europeans who think Americans are annoying for saying their hometown instead of "America" when you ask them where they're from: that's the equivalent to say your countries capitol where you grew up, instead of the country. You probably wouldn't answer "Europe" to the question "So where are you from?". I know I wouldn't.
TLDR: It is wild that english-speaking people can talk to so many without learning another language.
All my knowledge is from the Internet, I have never visited the US, so maybe I've misunderstood some things. (I know not everyone in the US have english as their mother tongue, but it's still a lot more than in Europe)
Happiness have hit her like a bullet in the back,
Struck from a great hight,
By someone who should know better than that!
THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER. THE DOG DAYS ARE DONE.
- florence and the machine - the dog days are over
_
«...I stand on the threshold and involuntarily look back in all senses - both material and mental. The TARDIS patiently waits for me, setting all navigation systems before its first flight with me on board. It's all going to end now, I think, catching the subtle line between what was and what awaits me ahead. And now, as I literally tear these words from my heart, vainly trying to figure out how to properly end this story, I look at the TARDIS in the yard, and it kindly flashes its light at the top, agreeing with the overwhelming nostalgia of the past, standing in this very present, into which I dove headfirst, like into a black hole. My days at the academy were over, and somehow, after everything that happened to me, it brought only a vague smile to my lips, not bitterness nor regret. Freedom was beating in my chest, and I could hardly believe that I had really managed to break free from the shackles and leave my whole life in Deca behind. I was sad, yes, that cannot be denied.
But I was free. I had longed for freedom for so long, I wanted to traverse the expanses of space without the label of Time Lord. It was all behind me - Theta Sigma's life was reaching its last moments before it would return billions of years later on the pages of this paper. The strange boy from the academy, who accidentally was picked into the group of top students and got involved in a ton of things, disappeared, leaving only a ghost of memories in the mind as a reminder. Now there was only the Doctor, who would save and protect, burying Theta's name as deep as possible in history. I didn't like Theta, and at the threshold, I felt a sharp aversion to everything I had experienced - there was no turning back, I understood that when I realized how much I hated the academy. Not in a bad way, of course, but having realized the true freedom at the doors of the TARDIS, I would prefer it to the academy.
Therefore, when I stepped over the threshold of the TARDIS and began my endless running through the Universe from one corner to another, I warmly smiled, watching the disappearing landscape of red Gallifreyan fields from a small screen, as if a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I was not born on Gallifrey - even then I felt it, and it was not my fate to rot here until death.
The Doctor will be a wanderer. Running from planet to planet, studying and investigating new and new things. I did not know that so many adventures awaited me after the escape, but I was glad to meet any circumstances with open arms. Theta was not fond of surprises, but the Doctor craved them every minute.
Now, it seems that the Doctor's days will soon be counted. I begin to run away from him, and I realize that running is what I do best...»
_
just a random idea that popped into my head while I was working on a fic
like how would Doctor, now fully aware and actually free from his duties(let's say, 14th for example) would perceive himself in the past? I mean, I'm really curious about how actually 14th Doctor feels when... Welp, he doesn't have to be the Doctor anymore. There's so much to it for exploration honestly, not only his trauma healing process but finally making his mind up and proceeding everything what happend to him in the past, including his academy years (INCLUDING KOSCHEI ima make another post for this one later)
And I was thinking that maybe Donna would recommend him to start writing some kind of diary just to settle everything down in order in his absolutely chaotic memory. And he would start writing, realising so many things that he always feared, that he always wanted to run from, all the mistakes he never wanted to look onto again - and he will look, not with the eyes of Doctor, because Doctor would never look so openly back, but with eyes of someone else. Of someone who's now fully understanding. Of someone who's finally free from saving the Universe every Tuesday.
gotta take my meds now brb/hj
My outfit for every morning