Bram Stoker Bsd - Tumblr Posts
"Despair has its own calms"
- Bram Stoker
I also post on Twitter!
Spoiler for New bsd chapter
Bram :c I swear to God if he's dead...
Also Fukuzawa protecting Aya, a kid he has never met before ๐ฅบ.
There is a reason why I love him
How could Asagiri do this to Aya๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
Bram finally got freedom back what the hell is this๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
sorry in advance to the classic lit enjoyers who are in fact not reading/watching BSD
๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐, ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐
Fyodor can still feel things, no matter how much he tries to hide it. We know where he channels his negative emotions (to sinners). But where do the positive ones go? Well, he dedicates them to God.
God is a time capsule for all the positive feelings that are still left inside Fyodor. They're too vulnerable, too tender, too childish to share them with humans. People will only trample over them and leave him empty.
But Dostoevsky still can't part with his sentiments. They give his heart a little jolt so it can keep living a little longer. So where can he direct them?
God is left as his only safe space for that.
Fyodor treats the concept of God like a coffer, where he can store his dreams from the earlier days. All of his hopes, aspirations, fantasies are better be locked inside the God's chest. Since God is the only one occupying Fyodor's brain, he'll keep them safe.
Devine being became a target for Fyodor's affection because He can't reject or hurt Dostoevsky in any meaningful way. It's left up to Fyodor's mind to imagine God as he likes. And so he does it.
God becomes not only a symbol to thrive for, but also a companion that helps him to cope with the loneliness.
God accepts all the Fyodor's needs humanity haven't fulfilled. His agonizing idealism, his need for deep understanding of his soul and a connection that makes him feel at home.
Surely, during the centuries of Fyodor's life, he came close to forming a bond with people at least a few times. But the process of separation was so painful, Dostoy decided it wasn't worth it anyway.
His failure to organically morn the end of his relations led to his fatal inability to reattach once again. Fyodor mistrusts new people in his life: he compartmentalizes them, puts on labels, and tries to keep every interaction under control.
The only one who can relate to this mindset is Bram, but even he is able to break away from it because of Aya. Stoker risks taking interest in the girl and then sacrifices his life for her. Now Bram's time is no longer frozen in place, he's moving forward, his character progresses.
But Fyodor is too overwhelmed with his feelings and memories that have never healed. He probably thinks that even a small bit of a emotional pain will break him entirely. So even if someone comes to Dostoevsky, waving a friendship flag in the air, Fyodor will shut down to keep them away.
This is what happened with Gogol. Nikolai wanted to be friends with Fyodor. But Dostoy never showed him any of his deeper emotions. By hiding all personal information, Dos-kun maintained a distance between himself and a jester. So the later couldn't reach out to and comfort Fyodor even if he wanted.
Of course, there is always a chance that Gogol would use Dostoevsky's feelings against him. And Fyodor also probably thought about that, so he cut off that option entirely. Sadly, we'd never see where their connection could lead, if Dostoevsky chose to share with Nikolai his everything. Maybe, it would lead to an even bigger disaster, but perhaps they would be able to find some solace in each other.
Now Fyodor is too hurt to open up his soul. All the scars on it had fused into an armor, protecting him from caring about others. Dostoevsky's soul became a shell, impenetrable from the outside. He made sure it would never change. His fortress. His prison. His mind.
Trapped inside of it, Dostoevsky still craved for someone to be there for him. Fyodor wanted a friend with whom he could converse without lying. He wanted a family. Maybe, he even wanted a lover.
Therefore, God was cast in all the roles that had been left vacant in Fyodor's life. And of course, Devine Being could fulfill them better than anyone. At least, from the Dostoy's perspective, his life was easier this way.
In Fyodor's story, God is a star of every relationship he still has.
God is almost like a friend, but he won't argue back or abandon him in pain. He won't make Fyodor feel inadequate by disagreeing with his perspective.
God is like a family, but he loves Fyodor unconditionally or at least His โconditionsโ are kinder than human ones. They're much more bearable than the rules Dostoevsky had to abide by when he was a child.
God is like a lover, but his love isn't physically โsinfulโ (whatever sexuality Fyodor has, it's very morphed and repressed). Devine being won't be put off by Fyodor's appearance and won't leave once He sees who Fyodor truly is.
God is like a teacher, but he doesn't have a hidden agenda and actually wants Fyodor to be better. God knows indefinitely more than Fyodor, so He can always share something new from His well of knowledge.
And of course, God will never change, die or choose someone else. He is always there.
It feels safe for Fyodor to love and admire someone who is so perfect.
And well, God can't disappoint.
if i hear one more person talk about โoh aya is just hallucinating bram!!โ im going to actually lose it
๊งโขโนูญ๐ฑ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ูญโนโข๊ง
๊งโขโนูญ๐ฐ๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ูญโนโข๊ง
๊งโขโนูญ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ูญโนโข๊ง
๐๐ซ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ญ๐จ๐ค๐๐ซ
๐๐๐ ๐๐ซ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ง ๐๐จ๐
๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ค๐ฒ
๐ล๐ฒล ๐๐ณ๐๐ค๐ข
๐๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ข๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ
๐๐ข๐ค๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ข ๐๐จ๐ ๐จ๐ฅ
๐๐ข๐ ๐ฆ๐
fyodor dostoevsky collecting white haired men for his harem since the 15th century
FUCKKKK BRAM NOO ๐๐๐๐๐
Spreading my anti fyodor propaganda
A scene redraw of my favorite cuties patooties :D
day 1 of drawing bsd incorrect quotes I found on pinterest to practice my comic skills.
original \/
WIP - (I got like almost a dozen others like this too but idk if I should finish them)
