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What is this from?

Peter Dinklage in that one mockumentary thingy where he’s showing all that sexy chest hair.

Alright, here you go. ---------------------------------------- Martha never had any siblings. Being an only child of two only children. She never really cared about not having siblings or even cousins, and her parents made sure she never felt lonely. Though, when her friends would talk about something their own siblings did, a small part of Martha couldn't help but wonder.

What would that be like? As she grew up, and her life became filled with chaos and responsibilities, it was put at the back of her mind. And then she met Jonathan Kent. After seven wonderful years they got married (Both of them said they were the one to propose) and they moved to a town called Smallville. That's where they met Dan. At first, they had a hard time, some of the cattle didn't last the year while some got stolen and the fields got overrun by mice. But Dan, bless him, took one look at them and decided to help, and back then they didn't have much to repay him with (Not that he would have accepted it anyway) so they decided to help him too.

Fixing fences, rounding up cattle, harvesting the crops, checking in after a big storm. It just became something they did. If they were on the others farm and saw something that needed doing, they did it. Martha and Dan traded recipes and gossip like it were gold, he would often have dinner at their house and stay the night on the couch, Jonathan did the same if he was at dan's place and it got too late. Then that spaceship crashed into their fields. She and Jonathan adopted the tiny child that came out of it and they asked Dan to be the godfather. Dan looked into Clarks eyes then turned to them looking more serious than she had ever seen him. "If anyone from the government asks about him, send them to me, I'll deal with them." He said and that was that. Time moved on. Clark grew up with loving parents and a gaggle of Aunts and Uncles courtesy of Dan, the closet thing she had ever had to siblings.

He got into a good school, became a brilliant journalist and, eventually, he became Superman. Martha was terrified for her boy, but she also couldn't be prouder. When Clark brought his friends Lois and Jimmy home to met them, Martha immediately knew that her boy was in love. Bets were placed among the family on how long it would take for Clark to actually ask Lois out (Martha and Jazz were the winners of that bet.) The whole family erupted in cheers when they finally got encaged.

But then Lois died.

Martha saw the news, she knew what her son was doing, she saw Danny and Ellie fighting alongside Clark's friends. Upon seeing this, Martha stood up from her seat and calmly walked to her neighbor's house.

A part of her didn't believe it, didn't believe that the boy she raised was capable of such a thing. But her wanting it not to be true wouldn't change the fact it was.

"Please, bring him home." She asked the second Dan opened the door. He looked at her a moment before sighing. "Alright."

And that was how the present came to be. Clark sat at the kitchen table, a black eye that started at his temple and ended at his chin, his shoulders up around his ears like she had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. Dan next to him, smoke trailed from his clothes which she knew got burnt from Clarks heat vision, nursing a cup of his favorite green glowing coffee. Danny and Ellie sat there too. Danny had his arm in a sling while half of Ellie's hair was missing both covered in burns, all four of them were in better shape than the other heroes. Because some of them were dead.

She and Jonathan hung back, trying to keep busy with making drinks as they waited for the last member of the family. Martha didn't know what to say to her son, she knew that if she spoke, she'd say something that would probably make matters worse, so she didn't say anything. Jazz finally walked into the room, eyes trailing over all of them, over the burns, the dried blood, the ripped clothing, and then finally landing on Clark. "I think we need to talk, Clark." The red head said grimly. Clark bowed his head and murmured so softly that Martha barely heard it. "Yeah, Auntie, I guess we do."

I want Dan to be a farmer.

Like redeemed Dan goes through therapy, takes one look at the world filled with spandex wearing heroes and monologuing villains and just goes "Nope, I'm gonna go be a farmer."

He didn't really have a chance at living a peaceful life in the last timeline since he had Danny's job of keeping the peace (and then turned evil) but now that Danny's doing Danny's job, he's got a chance to go off and do his own thing.

So, he moves out to a nice little town called Smallville, right next to a lovely couple named the Kent's.

And he enjoys it.

It's pretty peaceful, nobody bothers him (bar from a few visits from Danny and Dani, and also the weekly phonecall from Jazz)

It's just nice.

....

Now if only the heroes could stop crash landing on his property, that'd be great.

Like seriously, Superman! He just planted that corn!

I did it, y'all. I reached the most prestigious milestone in my history of being a Tumblrina!!!! 😭

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Taking an entomology class, decided to draw one of the spider samples I keyed (:

Its a member of the Mimetidae family. (:

watching some Snapcube videos/fandubs and doodled before a project

eat up ig

Im beginning to realize that I actually really enjoy geraskefer when Yen isn't written like a complete bitch who hates Jaskier and everything he does.. Might do a geraskefer prompt one of these days

You were scared and anxious. There was rough hands on your upper arms, cuffs on your wrists, and a canvas bag over your head. Your shoes dragged on the ground behind you, making the hands holding you up feel all the more powerful and bruising. Sweat coated your forehead, and your hyperventilating wasn't helping. Your blood pounded in your ears, drowning out any other noises. You didn't know where you were being taken too, but suddenly the two grunts holding you up stopped and let you drop to your knees.

You let out a whimpered yelp as you picked yourself up into a sitting position. The air in wherever you were was cold, making your body shudder and cuffed hands curl into tight fists. You felt a presences staring at you and it shook you to your core. The bag was ripped off your head, your eyes blinking to adjust to the dark room you were in. You breathed in and out quickly as your blurry eyes began to pick out strips of eerie and depressive red lights. The lights cast a violent glow along the floor that had your eyes gliding along the floor forwards to a large, raised chair. It wasn't so much a chair as it was a throne, strong armrests and a high back. But what was more concerning was the man perched on the throne.

You gulped as you looked over the large man sitting with his legs crossed at the knee, a cane rested in his hands, his fingers playing with the length. What made you cower was the way his eyes locked onto your smaller form. They were unmoving and looked like they were staring into your soul. Almost like a hawk. The man had an aura like that of an animal. He was dangerous. And some how you were stuck in this situation with him.

The man arched an eyebrow before glancing to the two grunts behind him. He flicked his hand and they instantly nodded and turned to leave the room. You bit your lower lip and ducked down as the man slowly uncrossed his legs, spreading them.and planting his boots. He stood up with a soft grunt, the coat that rested on his shoulders fluttered with the movement.

He said nothing as he sauntered towards you. You glanced away from his body and stared at the floor your hands fidgeting behind your back. You listened to the man approach, footstep by footstep, before they stopped. You slowly looked at the shiny boots outlined in a red glow from the lights. You swallowed hard and followed the boots up his pants, but quickly lost courage and dropped your gaze back to the floor.

The cane the man cared came into view and you only got to observe the eagle carved handle for a moment before the beak hooked under your jaw. You whimpered as the sharp hook dug into the soft skin under your jaw dragging your head up so your eyes locked with the large man's once more.

"You seem to have gotten yourself into quite a bit of trouble, haven't you sweetheart?" He rumbled out in a voice laced with an animalistic growl. Your eyes widened as you stared into his unforgiving eyes.

"Such a shame, really, you have a cute face." He added cocking his head not unlike a bird would. You were frozen, speechless, your lips trembling. The man stared a moment longer before a wicked smirk split his face, revealing several sharp teeth. "But maybe you could be used for another purpose, eh? I do enjoy your quivering lips and trembling body... Yes, I think I like that idea more."

hello i am new here-

is it okay if i ask for a soft body deathsaurus?

Welcome to the unit! Stay as long as you like and don’t be afraid to ask me for stuff ^^

Swindle Bakery AU!

Massachusetts, May 13th, 2155.

Swindle finds himself on Earth, nearly inches away from offlining. His entire frame aches, and his processor rings inside his helm. His data tracks can only replay a couple of memories before he slips into stasis mode. Bots chasing him, a shoot-out in an alien bar, him scanning a new alt mode, a ship crashing into the ground...

From there, it all goes black. Swindle didn't come back online until he found a little old lady seated behind the wheel, desperately trying to start the engine.

Swindle paused for a moment. When did this organic find him? What was she trying to do with him?

And when Swindle looked around and saw he was now parked at a car dealership, he wondered how he had managed to get himself there in the first place.

And he was horrified to find out that he didn't remember.

Summary

due to unfortunate circumstances involving a crash-landing and persecution from the Elite Guard, swindle finds himself back on Earth without any memory of how he got there. he's fortunate enough to find a sweet old lady, mabel, who offers him shelter while swindle tries to recollect his memories

during his stay, they both discover the other's talent. swindle nibbles on one of mabel's cookies (because he was damn near starving and couldn't find any energon or oil (and also he has a mod which allows him to digest some organic food, in case he's stranded without fuel)) and quickly becomes obsessed with mabel's baking

mabel, on the other hand, admires swindle for his knack for business. she laments how useful that skill must be and how she doesnt have it; maybe if she was more like swindle, she could save her dying bakery (which is like. 5 dollars away from bankruptcy lol)

the two then decide to strike a deal; swindle shares his expertise in exchange for a roof over his head (and an unlimited supply of treats). from there begins their alliance and they both start to reap the benefits from it in the form of profit.

what they both didn't expect to gain from this partnership, though, is a friendship

---

Notes

anyway that's the intro to this silly au !! if u guys wanna know more lemme know. i will be glad to share more of my silly lil ideas with you all

(and before anyone asks, there's a reason why I gave swindle a new form. he scanned a new alt form before slipping into stasis mode)

as always, the ppl who r still here reading this get a extra doodle. this doodle was made very early on, when I planned on making this au as a fic

anyway. that's it. bye bye

Thank you for all the water anons and funky hangers on for bugging rena - some of the reminders spill over and i keep remembering to refill mine :D (also very entertaining lol, drink more than just water to not flush out all the good salts in your system)

I'll piss on your bed too asshole

Some self-indulgent doodles for myself because my monthly blood sacrifice is killing me.

silly varian blinking practice <3

[ft. single frames under the cut]

October...?

We made a promise to look for each other when we're lost, no matter what. That promise was 10 years ago. And here I am, looking at the sun go down in the horizon, against the rocky slopes of a dully vegetated mountain range. I've been looking for you ever since your child called me, told me you disappeared. Perhaps you might've thought we were just being chummy in the spur of the moment, but no. When I made that promise, I did it with all my heart. And there's no way I'm backing away from it now, when my heart is finally being put to the test. I'll say it, and I'll say it again: I'm looking for you, and if I don't find you, I'll keep looking 'till I do.

"Where would you have gone if I hadn't come back?"

"I woulda gone to find you. Obviously."

"Okay, but what if you didn't find me?

"I'd keep looking 'til I did."

i played omori

very cute game

I have the urge to just info dump about AP human geography and how San Fransoyko demonstrates some of the concepts from the course, this course is kinda fucking useless but I took it anyway, so now I'm here wanting to infodump about a fictional city showing concepts from a dumb AP course I chose because I thought I'd get college credits but then realized was useless.