Casanova Of Gryffindor Tower - Tumblr Posts
Sirius Orion Black being the tallest, strongest, smartest, most powerful, and most attractive Marauder. Everyone in the castle wants a piece of him. He’s slept with most of the people in their year, along with the ones above and below theirs. He is, quite literally, the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower. He doesn’t study, but he still gets straight Os in every single class. He takes every single course for his NEWTs and gets Os in all of them. He’s one of those people that’s good at everything he gets his hands on. He’s friends with most people in Hogwarts, and has all sorts of connections with all sorts of people in every single social circle.
Enter Remus John Lupin, his geeky, awkward, kind of ugly, virgin, dork, studious, average height boyfriend. His idea of a wild evening is sitting in a corner, reading a book with some mildly sexual content with a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate. He clings to Sirius’ arm in social circumstances, twiddling his thumbs and silently watching everyone.
No one understands how, exactly, they got together. Everyone just knows that they’re absolutely adorable and madly in love.
I KNOW it isn't canon but Remus 'Casanova of Gryffindor Tower' Lupin was not ONLY the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower, he was THE ENTIRE SCHOOL'S CASANOVA. The man wasn't just a slut for his own house. He'd make everyone swoon, and he'd get on his knees for 99.9% of the men and with a bit of convincing he might even be willing for the 0.1%. Ya man's a hoe.
Like-
Arthur Weasley: Apperantly muggles have this thing called a 'body count' where they count all the people they've had intercourse with!
James, now interested in the conversation: Does everyone know their body count? Can you name every person on it?
Marlene, with a dead straight face: Don't ask Remus that, we'll be here for days.
Also bc fkin trans Remus is my new favorite thing, this was the time in which trans people were most accepted at Hogwarts, because everyone wanted Remus and if you were transphobic, you didn't have a chance.
You know the teacher everyone had a crush on? It was Lupin for Hogwarts. Girls, boys, everyone in between and everyone outside of the in between. Every. Single. Student. simped for Professor Lupin. He came back for the Battle of Hogwarts and suddenly all of the NEW students also simped for him. Even Percy Weasley wanted him.
Everyone wanted him when he was a student, and everyone wanted him when he was a teacher. And the best part? He never slept with any of his students. Hell, he didn't even realize everyone was in love with him until Pomfrey and Minnie pointed it out, and by then it was almost the end of the year.
You know the hypothetical of 'What if you were in a room with every person who ever masturbated to you'? For Remus, we'd need three football stadiums. Anyone who saw him fell for him.
IDFK man I just like Casanova!Remus. And concerned Poppy and Minnie. Like, "Hey, kiddo, you're gonna hurt yourself if you keep fucking any dude in your age group"
And he's like "DILLIGAF"
Oliver Wood, head resting on Percy Wood's shoulder, frustrated about a Quidditch loss: FUCK the Welsh.
Sirius Black: What do you think the entire male portion of the graduating class of 1978 have been doing?!
Kinglsey (No I will not put his last name, shame on JKR): Fucking SPECIFICALLY Remus.
When Remus dies in the Battle of Hogwarts, at least in the story I'm writing (And then gets brought back because f that) the map deactivates. Where it previously said 'Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders Map' it now shows every name of every person who was associated with the Marauders, because the core four are gone, but the Marauders live on in the memories of those who knew them.
Across the map, so many names are shown that you could spend hours trying to write them all down.
Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald, Lily Evans, Kingsley (No I will not put his last name, shame on JKR), Regulus Black, Bartemius Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Frank Longbottom, Alice Fortescue, Pandora Sailstream, Narcissa Black, Andromeda Black, Theodore Tonks, Lucius Malfoy, and countless others.
And in the center of the map, 'Messers. Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Potter and James Potter are proud to have been at your service. While we may be gone, our mischief and our heroic acts live on in history, and our spirit lives on in you.
In flowing, elegant ink, just below that, slightly larger than the rest of the print, lie the words "YOU ARE NOT ALONE"