Clone Whump - Tumblr Posts

Febuwhump Day 18: Can't stay awake

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: The Bad Batch

Warning: This story deals heavily with graphic depictions of suicide and self harm. Please proceed with caution.

This is what he wanted right? The blood that spiled from his wrist started to make him dizzy. Tech was tired of feeling ostracized by the regs, by his brother's. No one seemed to understand him. Sure he expressed things differently and sure he didn't

always know when or what to say but the man did his best.

    Not only was he done with people he was done with the war. The sights he'd seen through his googles frightened him. The blood, tears, the evil, and the lack of empathy was something no amount of training could properly prepare you for.

    Was this what he wanted? It's what the regs wanted. They never failed to let Tech know he was less than them, that he'd be better off dead. His eyes fluttered. At first he didn't agree but as time went on the regs words started to sting. When they no longer stung they burned into his mind and heart. Physical fights became waiting out the storm and taking care of himself later.

    Tech knew the signs and saw them in himself. He thought of telling his brother but in the end decided he'd deal with it on his own. When the man started to think more seriously of killing himself and of harming himself he knew it was time to tell them. Every time he tried his throat closed and tears welled. At the end he walked away to try again another day.

    The first time he gave into the thoughts saying he deserved to bleed, deserved the horrors of what the regs and what the war did to him; the blade calmed his mind in a way unexpected. From then on though he knew it was unhealthy and a problem, he didn't really care.

    Tech started caring less about his safety. This stressed Hunter out as he started seeing the signs as well. The sergeant wasn't sure what to do so he just watched him carefully.

    Now four neatly folded notes laid at the end of his bunk. The others had gone to the mess hall for dinner.

    Was this what he truly wanted? What about the brothers he had written to? Would they be okay? None of them really knew what was going on in his head, hell Echo hadn't seen him any other way than he was now, but all had done their best to help him. He pushed them away.

    No this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to feel better. If he died he wouldn't feel better, he wouldn't feel anything. Now he tried to fight against the looming tiredness that hung over him. Tech just had to last until his brothers returned. What would they think? That doesn't matter.

    "I think I'm gonna go back to our barracks, I'm not really hungry" Echo excused himself.

    In the barracks Tech's breathing slowed. He couldn't stay awake. If he succumbed to the exhaustion it was all over. His eyelids felt heavy as they tried to shut out the world for good. The clone was already curled up. He inched one of his hands down to the worse of the two wrists. It would only help a little for he could put much pressure on it.

    Tech's comm sat on the table closest to the bed. He wanted to reach for it but couldn't muster the energy to. Next it the comm sat the piece of shrapnel that he used to make the lacerations. Finding blades with no heat element to them was difficult so Tech got... Creative. Next to the comm and sharapnal rested his blaster and broken googles.

    The clones breaking point was when Kitty broke them. Kitty hatted the batch and for no good reason. He was an angry man and the batch seemed to be his favorite target. The four never provoked him. Echo got rapped into his torment when he joined the family. Breaking the googles felt simbolic. The shatter of the glass to the shatter of his hope, the breaking of his heart and brain.

    Echo walked though the halls. Something felt wrong. Without realizing it his pace quickened. Arriving at the room he opened the door and greeted Tech. Brown eyes landed to the notes at the end of the bed. From the bed they drifted to his brother, then to the table. Broken googles and bloody shrapnel confirmed Echo's suspicions. He ran to the others side and pushed him to his back.

    Something was going on. Tech saw a face. Slowly he relieved who it was. "Stay with me Tech alright." He spoke softly. Echo had seen this before. Suicide wasn't exactly uncommon for soldiers. Now he just had to keep him alive. Rather Tech liked it or not.

    Tech tried to nod. He wanted to answer Echo. He wanted to get to know Echo. With the little coherent thoughts he could have he regretted his decision to let it get this far.

    "I know it's hard but try to stay awake Tech. You're gonna be okay." Echo grabbed his own blanket quickly and pressed it against the cuts.

    The world was fading. Echo's comforting voice was starting to be drowned out by silence and his eyelids finally won and closed.

    Echo kept an eye on the others pulse. It was weak but it was there. Medics would arrive and take the injured to the medic bay.

    Now to inform his brothers. They were still in the mess hall. He sat down. Hunter immediately noted the blood on Echo's hand. "What happened?" Concern laced the man's voice.

    He looked at the three. He had all of their attention. Worry grew on their faces. "Tech tried to kill himself. He's in the medical bay. It's not looking good."

    Tears formed in Wrecker's eyes. "What?" He muttered.

    "What's wrong sad batch?" Kitty antagonized.

    Crosshair stood. He walked over to the bully, "If he dies you're next!" Wrecker snatched Crosshair and the four walked to the medical bay.

    When Tech would wake he found his family surrounding him, faces panted with worry. What does he tell them? How does he explain everything?

    "Hey Tech." Hunter softly smiled. Tech returned the sentiment. The four had been informed of the numerous other scars that littered his body. They mixed with war injuries. Well both were war injuries, one a war against the separatists and one a war against himself.

    "Why didn't you tell us?" Hearing Crosshair sound so soft calmed and spooked Tech.

    "I.. I didn't know how." His voice came out shaky and quiet.

    The family talked for a while before letting Tech get some rest. They would help him through the battle with his mind and when rummers flew about what happened they defended him. All of them would make it through this. Together.

Whumptober Day 9: Mistaken Identity

Fandom: Star Wars The Clone Wars

Warning: Character Death

Summary: While sitting with a dying soldier, Fives gets mistaken for one of his batch mates.

  Fives had known that being mistaken for one of his brothers was possible. He never expected to happen in this way. The man looked at the clone. A piece of shrapnel had caught him in the side. It had gone clean though his armor. He held pressure around the wound, unsure of what to do with the debris.

    "You're going to be okay" he tried to comfort him. The soldier kept grabbing at him, panic filling him. Fives held one of his hands with the one he wasn't using to keep him alive.

    The wounded raised the hand, trying to pull Fives closer. It was cold but the sun was peaking out of the clouds. The wind blew harshly, knocking orange, yellow, and red leaves into the gunfire. They sprinkled to the ground, a red one landing next to the dying man.

    "Rocky, I don't wanna go" he said.

    Fives didn't expect to be called Rocky. He hid his confusion, "you're going to be okay."

    "Rocky" he grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer. "I'm scared."

    "You'll be okay." Fives knew what was happening. He wasn't going to be okay. All he could do was pretend to be this guy he didn't even know. He couldn't leave him and he wasn't going to let him know he was going to die with a random stranger.

    He was delusional. He couldn't see. He didn't know what was going on. He just cried as the world he knew came to a close. "Rocky, tell-" his words became quiet whispers and Fives couldn't understand him. He felt his body go limp and he laid him back down to the ground.

    The red leaf blew away. It fled into the wind.

    Fives sighed. Too many of his brothers met an end like this. After the battle he became obsessed with finding Rocky. He didn't know anything about the man he had been mistaken for. All he knew was a name. But he had to know. He needed to at least meet the man he pretended to be for a dying brother.

    He asked everyone. He searched the 501st for him. Finally someone had an answer for him. "I think he's over there. He and his buddy are looking for their batch." 

    Fives walked over. "You Rocky?"

    "If I am?"

    'He's Rocky alright" Fives thought.

    "I wanted to talk to you. I was with a friend of yours. I never got his name."

    The man next to Rocky has a terrified look on his face.

    "I was with him, when he died."

    "Died?" Rocky asked. "what do you mean, died?" He started to raise his voice.

    "He was calling me by your name. Seemed like you were close."

    Rocky's tough exterior started to crack. His eyes started to water. "Did his armor have leaves on them? One really messed up one on the chest plate?" Every bit of spite and anger that had been in his voice slipped away.

    The man next to him placed a hand on his shoulder.

    "Yeah."

    Rocky shook. He turned to his friend, years in his eyes, and hugged him. The man looked surprised but held him.

    The role Fives had played was bigger than he thought. He knew how Rocky felt. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe he understood as much as he could understand. He probably felt the same pain as when he had lost Echo.

    "I'm sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about him-?"

    "Thank you." The other man spoke up. "Maybe we'll come find you later."

    "Okay." Fives started to walk away.

    "Did he say anything?"

    Fives stopped. He turned around. Rocky wasn't standing too far from him and his friend wasn't far from him. "He wanted you to tell something to someone. He- wasn't able to say a name or what."

    "Okay."

    "Are you two gonna be okay?"

    "Yeah, we'll be fine."

    "Okay. Come find me if you need anything okay? Literally anything."

    "Thank you."