The Batch Needed A Hug - Tumblr Posts

Febuwhump Day 18: Can't stay awake

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: The Bad Batch

Warning: This story deals heavily with graphic depictions of suicide and self harm. Please proceed with caution.

This is what he wanted right? The blood that spiled from his wrist started to make him dizzy. Tech was tired of feeling ostracized by the regs, by his brother's. No one seemed to understand him. Sure he expressed things differently and sure he didn't

always know when or what to say but the man did his best.

    Not only was he done with people he was done with the war. The sights he'd seen through his googles frightened him. The blood, tears, the evil, and the lack of empathy was something no amount of training could properly prepare you for.

    Was this what he wanted? It's what the regs wanted. They never failed to let Tech know he was less than them, that he'd be better off dead. His eyes fluttered. At first he didn't agree but as time went on the regs words started to sting. When they no longer stung they burned into his mind and heart. Physical fights became waiting out the storm and taking care of himself later.

    Tech knew the signs and saw them in himself. He thought of telling his brother but in the end decided he'd deal with it on his own. When the man started to think more seriously of killing himself and of harming himself he knew it was time to tell them. Every time he tried his throat closed and tears welled. At the end he walked away to try again another day.

    The first time he gave into the thoughts saying he deserved to bleed, deserved the horrors of what the regs and what the war did to him; the blade calmed his mind in a way unexpected. From then on though he knew it was unhealthy and a problem, he didn't really care.

    Tech started caring less about his safety. This stressed Hunter out as he started seeing the signs as well. The sergeant wasn't sure what to do so he just watched him carefully.

    Now four neatly folded notes laid at the end of his bunk. The others had gone to the mess hall for dinner.

    Was this what he truly wanted? What about the brothers he had written to? Would they be okay? None of them really knew what was going on in his head, hell Echo hadn't seen him any other way than he was now, but all had done their best to help him. He pushed them away.

    No this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to feel better. If he died he wouldn't feel better, he wouldn't feel anything. Now he tried to fight against the looming tiredness that hung over him. Tech just had to last until his brothers returned. What would they think? That doesn't matter.

    "I think I'm gonna go back to our barracks, I'm not really hungry" Echo excused himself.

    In the barracks Tech's breathing slowed. He couldn't stay awake. If he succumbed to the exhaustion it was all over. His eyelids felt heavy as they tried to shut out the world for good. The clone was already curled up. He inched one of his hands down to the worse of the two wrists. It would only help a little for he could put much pressure on it.

    Tech's comm sat on the table closest to the bed. He wanted to reach for it but couldn't muster the energy to. Next it the comm sat the piece of shrapnel that he used to make the lacerations. Finding blades with no heat element to them was difficult so Tech got... Creative. Next to the comm and sharapnal rested his blaster and broken googles.

    The clones breaking point was when Kitty broke them. Kitty hatted the batch and for no good reason. He was an angry man and the batch seemed to be his favorite target. The four never provoked him. Echo got rapped into his torment when he joined the family. Breaking the googles felt simbolic. The shatter of the glass to the shatter of his hope, the breaking of his heart and brain.

    Echo walked though the halls. Something felt wrong. Without realizing it his pace quickened. Arriving at the room he opened the door and greeted Tech. Brown eyes landed to the notes at the end of the bed. From the bed they drifted to his brother, then to the table. Broken googles and bloody shrapnel confirmed Echo's suspicions. He ran to the others side and pushed him to his back.

    Something was going on. Tech saw a face. Slowly he relieved who it was. "Stay with me Tech alright." He spoke softly. Echo had seen this before. Suicide wasn't exactly uncommon for soldiers. Now he just had to keep him alive. Rather Tech liked it or not.

    Tech tried to nod. He wanted to answer Echo. He wanted to get to know Echo. With the little coherent thoughts he could have he regretted his decision to let it get this far.

    "I know it's hard but try to stay awake Tech. You're gonna be okay." Echo grabbed his own blanket quickly and pressed it against the cuts.

    The world was fading. Echo's comforting voice was starting to be drowned out by silence and his eyelids finally won and closed.

    Echo kept an eye on the others pulse. It was weak but it was there. Medics would arrive and take the injured to the medic bay.

    Now to inform his brothers. They were still in the mess hall. He sat down. Hunter immediately noted the blood on Echo's hand. "What happened?" Concern laced the man's voice.

    He looked at the three. He had all of their attention. Worry grew on their faces. "Tech tried to kill himself. He's in the medical bay. It's not looking good."

    Tears formed in Wrecker's eyes. "What?" He muttered.

    "What's wrong sad batch?" Kitty antagonized.

    Crosshair stood. He walked over to the bully, "If he dies you're next!" Wrecker snatched Crosshair and the four walked to the medical bay.

    When Tech would wake he found his family surrounding him, faces panted with worry. What does he tell them? How does he explain everything?

    "Hey Tech." Hunter softly smiled. Tech returned the sentiment. The four had been informed of the numerous other scars that littered his body. They mixed with war injuries. Well both were war injuries, one a war against the separatists and one a war against himself.

    "Why didn't you tell us?" Hearing Crosshair sound so soft calmed and spooked Tech.

    "I.. I didn't know how." His voice came out shaky and quiet.

    The family talked for a while before letting Tech get some rest. They would help him through the battle with his mind and when rummers flew about what happened they defended him. All of them would make it through this. Together.