Febuwhump Day 18: Can't Stay Awake

Febuwhump Day 18: Can't stay awake

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: The Bad Batch

Warning: This story deals heavily with graphic depictions of suicide and self harm. Please proceed with caution.

This is what he wanted right? The blood that spiled from his wrist started to make him dizzy. Tech was tired of feeling ostracized by the regs, by his brother's. No one seemed to understand him. Sure he expressed things differently and sure he didn't

always know when or what to say but the man did his best.

    Not only was he done with people he was done with the war. The sights he'd seen through his googles frightened him. The blood, tears, the evil, and the lack of empathy was something no amount of training could properly prepare you for.

    Was this what he wanted? It's what the regs wanted. They never failed to let Tech know he was less than them, that he'd be better off dead. His eyes fluttered. At first he didn't agree but as time went on the regs words started to sting. When they no longer stung they burned into his mind and heart. Physical fights became waiting out the storm and taking care of himself later.

    Tech knew the signs and saw them in himself. He thought of telling his brother but in the end decided he'd deal with it on his own. When the man started to think more seriously of killing himself and of harming himself he knew it was time to tell them. Every time he tried his throat closed and tears welled. At the end he walked away to try again another day.

    The first time he gave into the thoughts saying he deserved to bleed, deserved the horrors of what the regs and what the war did to him; the blade calmed his mind in a way unexpected. From then on though he knew it was unhealthy and a problem, he didn't really care.

    Tech started caring less about his safety. This stressed Hunter out as he started seeing the signs as well. The sergeant wasn't sure what to do so he just watched him carefully.

    Now four neatly folded notes laid at the end of his bunk. The others had gone to the mess hall for dinner.

    Was this what he truly wanted? What about the brothers he had written to? Would they be okay? None of them really knew what was going on in his head, hell Echo hadn't seen him any other way than he was now, but all had done their best to help him. He pushed them away.

    No this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to feel better. If he died he wouldn't feel better, he wouldn't feel anything. Now he tried to fight against the looming tiredness that hung over him. Tech just had to last until his brothers returned. What would they think? That doesn't matter.

    "I think I'm gonna go back to our barracks, I'm not really hungry" Echo excused himself.

    In the barracks Tech's breathing slowed. He couldn't stay awake. If he succumbed to the exhaustion it was all over. His eyelids felt heavy as they tried to shut out the world for good. The clone was already curled up. He inched one of his hands down to the worse of the two wrists. It would only help a little for he could put much pressure on it.

    Tech's comm sat on the table closest to the bed. He wanted to reach for it but couldn't muster the energy to. Next it the comm sat the piece of shrapnel that he used to make the lacerations. Finding blades with no heat element to them was difficult so Tech got... Creative. Next to the comm and sharapnal rested his blaster and broken googles.

    The clones breaking point was when Kitty broke them. Kitty hatted the batch and for no good reason. He was an angry man and the batch seemed to be his favorite target. The four never provoked him. Echo got rapped into his torment when he joined the family. Breaking the googles felt simbolic. The shatter of the glass to the shatter of his hope, the breaking of his heart and brain.

    Echo walked though the halls. Something felt wrong. Without realizing it his pace quickened. Arriving at the room he opened the door and greeted Tech. Brown eyes landed to the notes at the end of the bed. From the bed they drifted to his brother, then to the table. Broken googles and bloody shrapnel confirmed Echo's suspicions. He ran to the others side and pushed him to his back.

    Something was going on. Tech saw a face. Slowly he relieved who it was. "Stay with me Tech alright." He spoke softly. Echo had seen this before. Suicide wasn't exactly uncommon for soldiers. Now he just had to keep him alive. Rather Tech liked it or not.

    Tech tried to nod. He wanted to answer Echo. He wanted to get to know Echo. With the little coherent thoughts he could have he regretted his decision to let it get this far.

    "I know it's hard but try to stay awake Tech. You're gonna be okay." Echo grabbed his own blanket quickly and pressed it against the cuts.

    The world was fading. Echo's comforting voice was starting to be drowned out by silence and his eyelids finally won and closed.

    Echo kept an eye on the others pulse. It was weak but it was there. Medics would arrive and take the injured to the medic bay.

    Now to inform his brothers. They were still in the mess hall. He sat down. Hunter immediately noted the blood on Echo's hand. "What happened?" Concern laced the man's voice.

    He looked at the three. He had all of their attention. Worry grew on their faces. "Tech tried to kill himself. He's in the medical bay. It's not looking good."

    Tears formed in Wrecker's eyes. "What?" He muttered.

    "What's wrong sad batch?" Kitty antagonized.

    Crosshair stood. He walked over to the bully, "If he dies you're next!" Wrecker snatched Crosshair and the four walked to the medical bay.

    When Tech would wake he found his family surrounding him, faces panted with worry. What does he tell them? How does he explain everything?

    "Hey Tech." Hunter softly smiled. Tech returned the sentiment. The four had been informed of the numerous other scars that littered his body. They mixed with war injuries. Well both were war injuries, one a war against the separatists and one a war against himself.

    "Why didn't you tell us?" Hearing Crosshair sound so soft calmed and spooked Tech.

    "I.. I didn't know how." His voice came out shaky and quiet.

    The family talked for a while before letting Tech get some rest. They would help him through the battle with his mind and when rummers flew about what happened they defended him. All of them would make it through this. Together.

Febuwhump Master List!

So I'm not quite done yet so I'll add them when I finish the last 6 when completed!

Warnings will be at the beginning of each story. The fandoms will also be at the top of the stories! My favorites will be in green! Let me know yours if you read them which is yours!

Day 1: Touch Starved

Day 2: Flinching

Day 3: Muzzled

Day 4: Knife to the Throat

Day 5: That's Gonna Scar

Day 6: Secrets Revealed

Day 7: Forced to Watch

Day 8: Panic

Day 9: Voice Loss

Day 10: Difficulty Breathing

Day 11: Fever

Day 12: "Can You Hear Me?"

Day 13: Forced to Hurt a Loved One

Day 14: Captivity

Day 15: Self Sacrifice

Day 16: Semi-conscious

Day 17: Silent Tears

Day 18: Can't Stay Awake

Day 19: "You Deserve This."

Day 20: Knife Wound

Day 21: Inferno (Alt prompt)

Day 22: Can't Scream

Day 23: "You'll Have to go Through Me."

Day 24: Bloody Clothes

Day 25: Assumed Dead

Day 26: Forced to Choose

Day 27: Survivor's Guilt

Day 28: "You're Safe Now."

This was such a fun challenge and I look forward to next year! Hopefully I'll finish that one on time lol! (The final finish date is March 13th)

A Month of Whump Day 7: Angst

Fandom: Star Wars The Bad Batch

Summary: Echo's with the Domino squad and with the Bad Batch.

    Echo looked around the Marauder. Wrecker, Cutup, and Fives sat together. They got along well. The three loved jokes and making people smile. They were loveable idiots.

    Hunter told stories of the batch's missions to Droidbait. He seemed entertained. Every now and again Tech would add some unnecessary detail. Typically the detail was rather laughed about or there would be an awkward silence.

    Crosshair tolerated Hevy. Secretly Echo thought the two were friends rather Cross would say so or not. The nine would sit together in the mess hall on Kamino. They smiled and talked most of the time. Of course the regs hated all of them so it was something they could all bond over.

    Going back to the barracks the group finally split. Echo layied down on his bed and told the batch goodnight. He fell asleep happily.

    Then Hunter woke him up and reality hit him like a brick. There was no Tapioca city, there was no Domino squad, and Crosshair was probably in a similar situation he had been in. The Republic was dead and so we're the jedi. The three he had been close to were young and so was the senator.

The war had been over for over a year now. All he had left was the batch and the men he now fought beside to save the others.

    "What Hunter?" Echo asked.

    "It's time to go." Hunter walked away to wake up the others.

    Echo sat up and not long after they landed. The Five walked off the ship unsure what was next for them. All they knew was that Crosshair was inside. Echo knew he couldn't have his dream world but maybe he could get closer. Just maybe they could all be a happy family again.

A Month of Whump Day 6: Team Dynamic

Fandom: Star Wars The Clone Wars

Summary: Obi-wan and Anakin are captured by the Separatist.

    Anakin and Obi-wan spent most of their time together. After the boy left Tatooien he was Obi-wan's responsibility. Though it was a little much sometimes, practice raising a child, he wouldn't trade it for anything. Anakin gave him a reason to get up when life tried to force him down.

    Now he sat in a Separatist cell with him. Both men were heavily injured from torture. The two did their best to help each other. Nothing seemed to help their situation. It felt like they were just barely holding on.

    Dooku's footsteps could be heard and not soon after he stood in front of their cell. "Hello" he spoke menaceingly.  Neither Jedi spoke. "I'm going to cut to the chase, one of you is dieing today. You won't betray the Republic so I need you as an example."

    Fear struck into the men's hearts. They looked at each other with consurn. When the count walked in he started to walk towards Obi-wan. Then he stopped. The man turned slightly and ended right in front of Anakin.

    Anakin turned to face him. Fear was evident on the jedi's face. "Scared?" The sith antagonized. Anakin turned back to look at his brother. Then he was unchained and pulled from the floor.

    Dooku dragged Anakin out of the room. The man couldn't fight anymore. The injuries he had sustained were too much. He wanted to. Everything he loved flooded his mind and yet he still couldn't move enough.

    The chains that hugged Obi-wan's wrist were strained as he tried to reach him. Panic set in. Tears began to well in his eyes as he tried to figure out what to do. "Wait!" He screamed.

    Dooku stopped. Anakin looked at him looked confused and tired. "What?" The sith asked.

    "Take me! Take me, not him." Obi-wan begged. His voice broke as he spoke. "Please." The last word came out as a desperate whisper.

    "My my, and here I thought you were a rule abiding jedi." Dooku's words stung but he didn't care. Right now the only thing that mattered to Obi-wan was Anakin's safety. "Fine." Anakin was thrown back into the room. He fell to the floor and didn't move.

    "Anakin?" Obi-wan's voice faultered. Darth Tyranus walked over and chained the young adult to the wall then unchained Obi-wan. Before he could do anything Kenobi was handcuffed and dragged out of the cell.

    The Jedi tried to fight back but like Anakin he was out of fight. His last stand has been saving Anakin for now.

    When taken to the room in which was set up for the message Obi-wan realized he was going to die.

    This was it. Everything he had ever done lead to this moment. He realized he would never meet Anakin's children, would never fight beside the 212th again, would never sigh or smile in the council room when they got off topic. He would never feel Cody's warm touch again. Anakin would grow up without his brother to help guide him. What if the 212th ended up with someone like Krell? Some many things flooded through Obi-wan's head all at once.

    Anakin searched for Obi-wan in the force. He regretted not arguing, not fighting. All he could sense was fear.

    Obi-wan was thrown into the center of the room. He slid and didn't bother to get up. After a moment Dooku pulled him onto his knees.

    Dooku's lightsaber never ignited. Looking at the man in front of him he couldn't kill him, he just couldn't. Obi-wan was all that was left of his son. He could see it in the way he fought and the way he cared for people.

    After a moment of silence Kenobi finally got up, deciding he couldn't just accept his fate. Pulling the red saber to him he stood. Igniting it he pushed it close to Dooku's throat.

   Slowly he walked him into a corner. "Let us out" Obi-wan hissed. Dooku tried to move and Obi-wan sharply leaned forwards.

    Blaster fire could be heard in the hall now. Someone had come for them. A purple lightsaber slid through the door. That's when Dooku decided it was time to go. He force pushed Obi-wan to the ground and grabbed his lightsaber. Destroying the window he jumped.

    When Windu entered the room he ran over to Kenobi. "Where's Anakin?" Obi-wan whispered.

    "Already being taken care of. Let's get you out of here." The medic came over and got the man on a stretcher and out of Separatist territory.

    When Anakin and Obi-wan saw each other again the first thing they did was hug. "Please don't do that again!" Anakin yelled.

    "Well what was I supposed to do? Let you die? You have a wife and a child on the way." Obi-wan smiled.

    Anakin just stared at him for a second in shock, "you knew?!"

    "Of course I did."

    The younger of the two sighed, "I love you."

    "I love you too Anakin."

Some Jedi (and a few clones) and how often I think they would say "I love you" or something similar.

Anakin: Says I hate you more than I love you but everyone knows it means I love you. Knows how much it means to Obi-wan so he comms him every night to say good night and I love you. It's been a thing since he was a padawan. He does the same thing with Padme.

Obi-wan: As often as he can. He made the mistake of not telling Qui-gon that he cared about him enough and won't make that decision again. Some people worry that he overuses love/caring words but he genuinely means it every time.

Ahsoka: Pretty often. She loves to make sure people know that they are loved and know it's important they know.

Rex: Not very often. In very certain situations or if someone says it first. He thinks it a lot tho.

Cody: Very similar to Rex. Every now and again it will hit him how much he loves the people around him.

Fives: Extremely often to certain people (Echo, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex). Not much of a words of affirmation guy so he mostly shows it through physical touch.

Echo (before he gets blown up): Mostly when people say it to him first. He gets the same feeling as Cody, they all do really.

Plo: Very often. Kinda like Obi-wan but it's not trauma based and not quite as often.

Kit: Often. The thing as Obi-wan. After his padawan died he started saying it more and more.

Yoda: Says it the most out of the council. Maybe slightly trauma based as he's probably known a lot of people who have murked themselves.

Shaak Ti: Not directly "I love you" but more like "I care about you." Said very often to the clones.

Mace: Not often. When he does it's important.

There will be more

A Month of Whump Day 5: Sickfic

Fandom: Star Wars The Clone Wars

Summary: Cody falls in love and catches a certain flowery disease.

  Love is such a strange thing. Cody didn't realize it could be so deadly. At first he was unsure of what was going on. He had just coughed up a few sunflower petals. Holding them in his hand he decided to go see Kix. It felt like something he shouldn't go to his medic for, why he wasn't sure.

    Cody walked around until he found him. "Kix, I need to talk to you."

    "What's going on Commander?" Kix asked.

    The commander pulled Kix into a nearby empty hallway and showed him the flower petals.

    "Sunflower petals?" The medic felt uneasy. Cody wouldn't get him for something that wasn't serious. "I don't understand."

    "I...coughed them up." Cody looked down. "I'm not sure why."

    The medic just stared at him for a moment, "you.. coughed them up?"

    "Yes."

    "Let me look into this. I'll come find you when I know. For now just drink water and let me know if anything changes." With that he left.

    Cody walked back to his room. On the way he started coughing again. He felt the flower petals coming up and after a few seconds they were in his hand. This time the petals from a pink Dahlia.

    Not quite an hour later Kix hunted Cody down. After checking just about everywhere he finally looked in the general barracks. There Cody was sitting with Waxer. The clone had a hand on his commander's back while Cody sat with his forearms on his thighs.

    "I found out what's going on." Kix started.

    Cody sat up and nodded his head.  Waxer looked over at Kix, "good. So what is it?" The lieutenant had found Cody in the hall with the pink petals in hand. He didn't seem like he felt very well so he took him to the barracks.

    Kix kneeled down in front of the bed and started to explain. "It's called Hanahaki disease. It comes from unrequited or perceived unrequited love. Flowers grow in the victim's lungs. There are two ways to get rid of it, surgery; which will remove your feelings for the person, and for the person to be in love with you."

    "Love?" Waxer looked at Cody, "who are you in love with?"

    Cody just looked at the two. What would they think? The man was in love with his superior. It was inappropriate.

    "Someone I could never have." Cody sighed.

    "What does that mean?" Kix asked.

    "You love the general don't you?" Waxer stated. "I see the way you interact with him, the way you look at him."

    Cody was quiet. Silently he nodded. "Your best opinion then is the surgery." Kix spoke.

    "No, not yet."

    "Sir, this can and will kill you if you don't act on it." The medic stood up.

    "Have you told him?" Waxer stood as well.

    "No."

    "Well then you have to."

    Cody didn't say anything. Instead he stood up and walked away. He couldn't tell him. He could tell his general that he fell for him. He would just have to deal with the flowers for now.

    As time went on the disease got worse. Cody's lungs were being overtaken by Sunflowers and Dahlias. He was tired and in agonizing pain all the time. Breathing felt like he was being stabbed by a million tiny needles. The worst part was this cursed illness affected his leadership. The clone couldn't do as much as he used to. Some of his brothers caught on and tried to help where they could. No one knew what was going on and he wouldn't tell. When Obi-wan caught on he too did whatever he could.

    Something about the feeling of dying calmed Cody. It proved he was alive in the first place; that he wasn't some droid. He was in love.

    Waxer and Kix continued to press, trying to convince him to get the surgery or to talk to the general. He refused to do both. The clone commander was scared of the answer if he confessed. He was unsure of what would be worse, if Obi-wan didn't feel the same or if he did. The two would be stuck knowing that they loved each other but could never act on any of their feelings because of the Jedi code. Of course Obi-wan could always hate him afterwards. But if he got the surgery he wouldn't love Obi-wan and the thought of that was something he couldn't bear.

    Now the battalion was preparing for battle. It was the night before and time to sleep. Cody couldn't really sleep anymore. His inability to breathe well kept him awake. When he finally did fall asleep he woke up to a stabbing pain in his neck. Rubbing his hand over it he paused. A flower had grown through his neck. It felt like a sunflower. Unsure of what to do he went to find Waxer.

    When Waxer was woken up in the middle of the night he thought something had happened with the enemy. It wasn't until he was the flower that he understood what was going on. "What the fuck?" He sat up. "I didn't know it could do that."

    "I didn't either. What do I do now?"

    "How am I supposed to know? I'll call Kix."

    After a moment Kix answered, "what's going on?" In the background the two could hear the sounds of war.

    "There's a flower sticking out of Cody's neck." Waxer spoke quietly.

    "Good Kriff."

    "Can we cut it out?" Cody asked panicked.

    "Yes but be extremely careful!"

    "Got it. Be careful!" Waxer replied.

    "Thanks Kix." Cody turned off the comm. Then Waxer went to find scissors or a small knife. Cody started coughing again. This time blood came out with a full Dahlia. The clone struggled to breathe, both from panic and the injury. His throat was raw and it showed in his voice.

    When Waxer returned Cody was struggling to breathe. Not that he hadn't been but it was worse than normal. When he saw the Dahlia covered in blood and the sunflower in the commander's hand he commed the medic and the general quickly.

    Boil had heard the noise and ran over to the two. He kneeled beside Cody and tried to help him breathe. After another flower escaped his mouth he started to breathe a little better.

    Obi-wan was the next to arrive. "Waxer what's going on?" Then he saw Cody. Without thought he immediately rushed over to the man. Boil moved and Obi-wan took his place. "Cody what's wrong.?" The flowers took him by surprise. "Who?"

    "Who?" Cody whispered.

    "Who are you in love with?"

    It clicked with the others before Cody. Obi-wan was a Jedi of course he knew what Hanahaki was. The disease would give away any Jedi that broke the code.

    Cody finally gave in, "you, sir."

    There was silence for a moment. "Dear, you should have told me sooner."

    "That's a good sign" Waxer whispered over to Boil. He looked over to his brother confused, "Waxer what's going on?" Waxer would quietly explain the situation while the others talked.

    Obi-wan moved closer to the commander and placed his forehead on the others, "I love you too."

    Relief hit everyone. Relief turned into dread as Cody relieved something. The two were in love. Obi-wan was a Jedi and he was a clone. There was the code, their ranking, and a war stopping them.

    "Are you okay?" Obi-wan asked. Cody broke out of his thoughts and opened his eyes. Looking into the Jedis bright blue eyes he felt safe. Kenobi had that effect on people.

    "Yeah." The next day Cody stayed back by order of Obi-wan and the medic.

    Time would pass and Cody would heal. It took about a week for all the flowers to get out of his system. It took a little longer for him to feel strong again. The lovers talked and decided they would act on their feelings, no matter how dangerous it could be. They loved each other and nothing could stop that. Sunflowers and Dahlias could grew around them until one day their love would kill each other. Hopefully it would never come to that. Hopefully.