Comfort Ship - Tumblr Posts

THESE TWO💚💛💘💘💘💘

>super cute huntlow illustrations from artists on the owl house team!! all images are from hunter’s wiki page!! guys i love huntlow so much :<

I am iwaoi trash i wanna make sm playlists for them but i need to borrow another phone number for my anime yt acc ︻デ═一༼ ˃ɷ˂ഃ༽

Off to spotify i go but i'll update when i can do that!  ( ͒ ́ඉ .̫ ඉ ̀ ͒) 

At first I wasn’t sure if I liked Shuichi’s Danganronpa S outfit but now that I’ve drawn it it actually kinda fits him? I do wish they added a bit more details to his outfit though (and to everyone’s outfit really). I’m also surprised that they gave Kaede a blue swimsuit

Happy saimatsu summer!

Tiny inked Saimatsu sitting at a national park

Oh yeah baby Trickster Erisol

I knoww this is an ask blog account, but I havven't been getting any asks as of late, so I think I might take the chance to post some occasional art here too :3 wwhy the heck not!

i wwonder if Tumblr likes Erisol . hmmst.

Eridan's design is inspired by kinquatz on DeviantArt btw :)

More comfort yaoi!

SO PEOPLE REALLY LIKED THE ERISOLKAT I POSTED LAST TIME wwhich honestly really surprised me! I wwas scared I wwas gonna get bullied off the platform idk wwhy LMAO

ANYWWAY eat up, my wwigglers :)

Its not much but I'll definitely do more when I have the time. I've been up to my neck in wwork AGAIN guhhh :(((

Thanks to evveryone for all the nice reblogs and comments btww!!! Idk howw to reply to them all but I see all of it and I really do appreciate it :)) <3

mockingjay ending heals and breaks my heart at the same time

*Sweats in Rarepair*

I did that one template with my comfort ship ahdhshdjdhajdjsjsjaja

Me: I’m not that big on shipping. Not even for cannon ships really.

Someone else: What about Luz and Amity?

Me: An exception.

…

Me: (turns around with a Luz and Amity plushie) Now kiss.

A hug

I love myself some unconventiona/(something I thought only I shiped) ships

dick from a girl who will explain things to you at great length!!!!!!

sniperpauling gift for @magicalnursekomugi

May I request a Sniper and administrator wedding please? After all, their voice are married IRL :)

Adorable idea <3

Kangaroo dads

i think he likes her guys

The Hoodie Is Red And The Jacket Is Blue.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

When Lucas moves away to Utrecht for a year, he decides to keep in contact with Jens through the writing of letters.

This one shot is based off the exchange of letters within the novel "Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe" by Benjamin Alire Saenz. Jens is loosely based off of the character Aristotle Mendoza while Lucas is loosely based off of the character Dante Quintana.

P.S. It's also one of my favourite books - read it if you ever get the chance! :)

Dear Jens,

I'm writing this on the train ride to Utrecht. My father thinks I'm rather theatrical for not going on the drive with him as he moves all my belongings across the border, but I think I am being completely rational. Okay, maybe I am neither theatrical (my father had other choices of words to describe me) nor am I rational. But it feels weird to watch the distance between us in the inner workings of the moving truck my father rented. It's rickety, doesn't always drive straight and well, leaves me in a confined space with well, you already know who.

Anyway, the train ride is neat. Good scenery, I have my sketchbook open with me as well. My father did manage to get me a first class train ticket, so the leg room is wider and I get complimentary drinks and snacks to keep me company. I know you're laughing. Stop laughing. I mean it. I know, the leg room is rather ironic. I get it. Jens, I'm serious, quit laughing. Maybe you should be here. Maybe all this extra space for my legs should have been for yours. Not all of us can be lanky giraffes.

I think Utrecht will be nice. My father says there are some neighbours with kids my age. Ha, kids. What a weird way to describe me. As if I'm not graduating next year. As if I couldn't have just moved in with you or something for a year. Maybe my father was right in using the word theatrical.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

There are two things you're right about. One, the use of the word "theatrical" to describe yourself. In the years I have known you, I think your father may actually have been right this time around. What? I know that look. There's a first time for everything. Second, I wasn't laughing. What? You know this look? It's my lying face? Well, it's not like you can do anything about it all the way in Utrecht.

School starts tomorrow. Last first day. I keep thinking about how things will be different. University applications, graduation and graduating traditions. And it won't be with you. How the hell am I going to pass math now?

I think you were also right about a third thing. We aren't kids anymore. Our summer as boys had been far too short.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

Oh, how I have missed your pessimism. Has the rain cloud over your head stopped its downfall? Cheer up Jens, summer will come soon enough. By the way, it feels rather new to hear everyone speak in Nederlands Dutch. I thought Milan prepared me for this but now it is like speaking to many Milans and not just one.

I met my neighbours. But my father was wrong (does that surprise either of us?). There is only one "kid". I say that loosely, because this kid has a full grown facial hair. Not a lot, but enough to make him look way more than just a kid. And I guess there isn't just one kid. He has many siblings, three I think. But I'm betting my father chose this "kid" because he's in my year. Oh yeah, his name is Kes by the way.

On the first day of school, Kes walked with me, on his skateboard. I must say Jens, it is quite weird to see a version of you here. But don't worry, he's not all like you. He's much cooler. Don't give me that look. You know I'm only joking. Have you grown to miss my sarcasm? Anyway, school. It's fine, normal place. But it is weird without you. I'll have less math homework to do.

Sorry it took me so long to write back. I got your letter awhile ago. I couldn't figure out where my mail was being sent. Turns out it was just in my flat's lobby. And to think I took a bus all over the city to find a postal office.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

I had wondered if you left me hanging. And then after reading your sarcasm, this comparison of myself and this Kes character and all this Dutch talk, I realized that maybe I could've done without a response. That was a joke. See? Little pessimistic Jens and his rain cloud know how to tell a joke.

Well at least your life sounds exciting. Mine hasn't been. Everything is pretty much the exact same. Robbe is still in love with Sander. Aaron can't keep his eyes (or hands) off Amber. Moyo well, Moyo and I have been smoking a lot of weed. Probably not the Dutch amount and definitely not the Dutch strain. But there isn't much to report on my life.

I think it was more exciting with you in it.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

Have you ever wondered how the universe worked? I have. A lot. My room in the flat has this window nook, so I spend a lot of time looking out of it and the people who walk by. I used to want to draw whatever I saw, but then I realized how much I only ever draw about my life. My world. But with each passerby, I realize that so many lives and worlds exist outside of our own. And then I wonder, how many worlds exist within the realm of our universe? And not just people, because that is an easily estimated seven billion. But how many planets we have yet to discover, stars that have yet to be born and asteroids that have yet to just pass Earth, making us the lucky ones.

I've realized how small we are as opposed to the infinite realm of possibilities and things so much bigger than us. Do you believe in parallel universes? My friend Liv spoke about them once. She told us that in these universes, every possible outcome that could've happened in our life occurs in them. Maybe you choose to wear a blue shirt instead of a red one the day that girl with blue eyes and light hair notices you in the cafe window as she crosses the street. Everything is about the exact same way, but maybe the curtains are a different colour. Or maybe you do wear the red shirt and instead, a girl with dark eyes and dark hair notices you instead. Maybe you actually pass math. But there's something that stays the same in each one. Your soulmate.

A soulmate. What a deep thing to conceptualize. Both the universe you find within the person and the universe you find the person in. But do you ever wonder what it would be like to never find your universe? To go along life as the rest of these parallel versions of yourselves do and you're the only one who never finds their soulmate? What a lonely universe that must be.

The whole idea has been plaguing me for awhile. I wish I understood more of what Liv had told us. Too bad I was high.

Maybe in another universe, the curtains are yellow. And maybe, the hoodie is red and the jacket is blue.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

What the fuck is in your weed?

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

When I finally become the greatest philosopher of this generation, you will have no credit in any of my works.

To answer your question, I don't know what's in my weed. My friend Jayden could probably tell you. I met him through Kes. He's funny but sweet. Best intentions kind of person, even if he is a little interesting. I think you would like him.

Utrecht is starting to feel like home. I know it technically always has been, but that was before I was fully immersed in my stream of consciousness. There is something familiar with everything. Whenever I sketch the parks, streets or buildings, I seem to get a recollection of memories. They're always a little faded, very much like a blurry dream sequence. But I can make some of them out. There are sounds too, sounds of a melodic giggle, soft words spoken and adoring smiles. I know they're from my family, you know, when my parents were still happy together. Before Mama had gotten sick.

I think a lot about my time in Antwerp. Sometimes it also feels like a distant memory.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

I know it's been awhile since I've written to you. And by the time you get this, it may have been a month. I'm not sure.

Nothing much has happened. That's why I haven't written. Not much has happened and that isn't an exaggeration. I think the most excitement I get is heading to the mailbox to see if I have mail. Your replies are always much faster than mine. Sorry I make you wait for awhile. I don't mean too.

Lotte wants to adopt a dog. I think we might actually get one. Lies has a friend who's dog is about to have a litter of puppies. Maybe a dog will make things a bit more exciting. A little companion who chews on shoes. I know you would have loved that.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

A dog! So you finally get something that could terrorize my shoes after I leave. Are you tormenting me? Maybe I'll ship you a pair of shoes and make your new little companion use it for teething. I'd finally be putting the shoes to use.

To be honest, I'm surprised you don't have much to tell me. I was expecting a lot of stories about parties and all of your dumb antics. Or are you just to embarrassed by them to tell me? if you have forgotten all the expressions on my face by now, just know I have a very sarcastic smirk on.

I do have something to tell you. I met this girl. Well, I met her awhile ago, during my first week of school. Kes introduced me to her. They've been friends for awhile. Her name is Isa. She's really pretty. Extremely. Her hair is short with light brown curls, and she's got the brightest smile. Everything about her is like the sunshine. Her laugh is bubbly and reminds me of the sounds at a carnival. Isa is like all the sparkling reflections off a diamond, when light gets refracted between them and you start to see a rainbow. She really is pretty, I'm sure you would agree with me. But she's not the only one I find pretty. I think Kes is pretty. He reminds me of the sultry hours of the night, eyes bright like the stars and shadows cascading like a mystery. When he's in a deep focus, you can see the way everything just comes to a still. It's quite mesmerizing. I didn't know I could feel this way.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

We got the dog. It's a small fluffy black and white little guy. Lotte wanted to name him Converse. For the colour scheme. I thought that was kind of fitting, with your shoes and all. Though the dog is missing splatters of paint. Maybe I'll add those on.

Seems to me you've met some good people. I'm happy for you.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

Merry Christmas! How I wish I was with you. There's nothing more depressing than trying to have a Christmas with my father. We pretend we like the gifts we've given each other and then head out to where we'd rather be. I had a Christmas dinner with Kes' family. There's a lot of them. I thought you, Lies and Lotte were a lot. Ha, what a play on words. But Kes has three brothers and a sister. That's, you can count on your fingers, four more siblings than I ever had. The dinner was really good, his family is Dutch, Somalian and Vietnamese so there was a lot of different things to try. I asked his grandmother what it was like to arrive in the Netherlands, a country so different from where she must be from. She told be the beautiful thing about the many countries in the world is that you will never run out of places to see and explore. And soon, enough, you will find a place that is so much more beautiful than the rest of the world and settle there. Bonus points if its with a person you have created a small world with.

We could see the world together, don't you think? Are you ready for that kind of adventure?

Lucas

-

Lucas,

Happy New Years!

I would love to see the world with you.

Jens

-

Luc,

Are you okay? I haven't heard from you for awhile. Converse is doing fine, he's finally house trained. Lotte is a little annoyed that he seems to have a liking to sleep with me rather than her, but that's not really my doing is it? I hope you're smiling as you read this. You feel so far away.

Jens

-

Luc,

I hope you're okay. It feels rather lonely without your letters. I know I'm not the best with responses but I always did enjoy listening to you more. I loved hearing your every thought, even if I had no idea how you came up with it. Anyway, you don't have to say much if you don't want to. I understand. February is almost over and it seems like the last snowfall has happened. Valentines was rather lonesome, not like I had much planned out for that. I think the promise of spring arriving soon inherently means the promise of summer. And with summer, that means your return. I long for that day. Talk soon.

Jens

-

Luc,

I miss you.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

I'm sorry for my silence. It was actually because of a mess of other things. My head was loud. I hope I didn't make you worry so much. My silence was rather theatrical, wasn't it? I know you can sense my sarcasm.

I kissed Isa. And then I kissed Kes. The Isa thing happened during New Years. It wasn't serious, more like a simple friendly New Years kiss. But I was excited. I mean, I told you how pretty she is. How could you not be excited to kiss a girl like her? But then it happened. You know, the kiss. It happened. And it felt like it didn't.

I thought I liked her Jens, I really did. But the kiss was so absent, like it was like I was watching two actors kiss. Someone who wasn't me and her. I had no attachment to it and I felt nothing for it. And I don't know why. Maybe I didn't like her and just thought I did. Maybe it was like how you think about the flowers being beautiful or the city lights. Maybe Isa had just been a beautiful thing in my life that wasn't meant to be loved in the way I had thought.

And then I kissed Kes. It wasn't that deep. We had went to some Valentines Day party, for all us single people. Even Jayden and Isa tagged along. By that time, Isa and I had forgotten about the kiss entirely (though I had forgotten it the second it was over). And then we decidedly to play spin the bottle. You know how it goes, whoever it lands on you kiss. I think you know where I'm going with this.

We kissed. It was short, the shortest kiss I've ever had in my life. Shorter than Isa's. But it was the first kiss I understood why it was such a romantic gesture. How you could feel bursts of sparks and a rushing amount of affection through such a simple touch. I felt that. So much. And when Kes looked at me afterwards, I realized that maybe I just liked kissing boys more than girls. A lot more.

I know what you're thinking. That I'm dramatic. Just because I did kiss a boy doesn't mean I like boys. But I keep thinking about kissing a boy. I never intentionally think of anyone in specific, but a certain figure always appears at the end of my daydreams. And I really think I like this boy.

You were right by the way. Isa and Kes are good people. I told them both about this. They pinched my cheeks and hugged me, saying that it was okay to still be navigating love and all that. That was apart of life, they said.

I guess I haven't really written back because I was scared to tell you. You know everything about my life because you lived almost everyday with me. And now, our distance has forced us to live two separate lives. I couldn't think about my new life and my old life not working out again. I didn't need to lose someone else. Being taken away from my mother was a lot, but Jens, being taken away from you was like having my heart ripped out of my chest.

That was a rather dramatic way to say I miss you.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

You could never lose me. Don't even think about that. I'll be apart of your life as long as you let me.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

It's finally spring in the Netherlands. You know how I can tell? The flowers are in bloom. There's this flower shop I always walk by on my way to and from school. And they had the most beautiful tulips. An assortment of colours. I wondered how they were so bright and vibrant, their bulbs so perfectly shaped. I wondered how they could have grown so early into the season. Naturally, my curiosity led me to go inside the shop before school and ask. The florist appreciated my seeking of knowledge and told me her secret. She said that the trick is to remember that even with the change of seasons, we are allowed to grow for the season that we will soon blossom in. Turns out all autumn and winter, she nourishes the soil right before the first centimetre of stem can appear. And when spring finally rolls around, all the care and nourishing has paid off. I thanked her and she gave me a tulip as her own thank you.

I thought about people as I walked home that day. How we always identify with a certain season because that's when we feel flourished. I always thought of you as the summer. Even though I know you would argue and say summers are not meant for boys like you. But you are summer. The hour of the summer when you know it is not quite day or night. The time where neither the sun nor moon rule the sky and only boys who are not meant for this world do. Boys like me and you. Boys who are apart of a whole other world. An whole other universe.

Seasons may come and go Jens, I know you know this. We need to keep that cycle. Some seasons are to grow and some are to live life because this is the youngest we will ever be.

Lucas

P.S. In the envelope are some dried petals from the tulip. Unfortunately, I'm not as good as taking care of plants as I thought. They're blue by the way, the florist said it matched my eyes.

-

Luc,

If I am summer, I am not summer without you. You are what makes summer.

Is that poetic enough for you?

Jens

P.S. I kept the petals. They sit in the small box you painted for me once. I didn't know what I would ever use it for, but I guess I found out.

-

Dear Jens,

You have always been enough for me. More than enough.

Lucas

-

Lucas,

Converse tried to eat the edge of the paper which is why the corner of this letter is missing. I know what you're thinking. You should have sent him your shoes. YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT. I keep giving him things you've left behind for him to smell. So when you come, maybe he'll be completely familiar with your smell and who you are. I think he's excited to see you soon. The weeks go by so slow and fast at the same time. How can one thing be two completely different other things? The mysteries of the universe.

I'm starting to sound like you.

Jens

-

Dear Jens,

There's something I should tell you.

You were who I thought about kissing. Who appeared at the end of all my dreams and disappeared when I woke up. It was you. And it's always been you. I don't even know how to be poetic about this so I just want you to know, that everything in my world is entirely yours. Everything I want to do is with you. You are who I want to create a small world with.

I once told you about the people I found pretty. The ones I could see in the small details of the world that surrounds us. But you are beautiful. You are what I see in everything around me. You have become the universe in all my parallel ones. And when I see you next, I hope we can start exploring this world together.

Love, Lucas

-

Luc,

Where would you like to go first?

Love, Jens

P.S. I wish I was there to kiss you right now. So you know this life is not just a dream of yours. That it's all real.

-

Dear Jens,

By the time you get this, I will be with you. Wherever we decide to open this last letter, well, that is a mystery we have yet to find out. But I have a feeling it will be in your room, where we spent most of our days. Maybe you'll be on the bed with a guitar in your lap as I sit on the end of the bed, watching you read this. Or maybe I'll be laying next to you, as one hand gently plays with my hair. Or maybe, you're chasing me around the room, as I read this out loud, the words intelligible between our running and laughter.

But I do know one thing. That we will be together. Just like it should always be. In this life, world, universe and whatever else is beyond us. Me and you. Never apart.

This train should speed up a bit. My seat hardly has any leg room and I'm feeling confined. I know, ironic. Isn't it funny how some things turn out? At least I know this seat on this train ride home was meant for me. That's a second thing I know.

Love, Lucas

P.S. A third thing I know. That I will be getting a kiss from you after you finish reading this. I'm waiting. Don't give me that look.

SHOWTIME IN PLUSHIE FORM, PART 2 🎩🎪 !

(so, quite a few of you guys liked the last post I made, so I decided to take some more photos, because I love showtime so much ☹️)

SO, HERE ARE THE OTHER PHOTOS I TOOK, UGHHH THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME GUYS, I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH, I COULDN’T TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS BECAUSE I BEGAN TO RUN OUT OF IDEAS, THERE ISNT EXACTLY A LOT OF PLACES TO TAKE PHOTOS IN MY ROOM SO THIS IS ALL I COULD GET… 🤒

Anyways, right after this post I’m also going to post a showtime fic I made, so check it out if you’d like to!

I’M SPENDING SO MUCH OF MY TIME ON THESE TWO, IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

“EMOTIONAL WHIRLWIND” - CAINE X POMNI FAN-FICTION !

Ft. Some old showtime plushie photos I took

(guys also, I’d like to add, I’m not extremely talented at writing so you may not think this is all that good, I struggle with describing things so please bear with me LMAO.. 🤒)

. . .

She had done it this time, she had finally cracked at him, told him how all he was doing was harming everyone, how he was failing at his main purpose, to entertain, to keep everyone happy and safe.

She couldn’t keep it in her anymore, she lost it at him in heat of the moment after today’s adventure, he had fully crossed the line this time and took things way too far, the adventure ended in everyone injured and emotionally scarred from what had happened, everyone nearly at the brink of abstraction due to how disturbing this specific adventure was.

Pomni couldn’t control herself, she was angry at Caine. Well, angry was an understatement, she was furious with him and she lost her temper completely, screaming harmful words at him without even realising, she didn’t care in the moment, she hoped that her words would sting him, like a stab to the heart, maybe that would knock some sense into him, maybe that would stop him from torturing everyone, maybe for once he would do his job correctly, fulfil his purpose.

After the incident everyone went off to their rooms to reflect on themselves, everyone needed some alone time after that adventure, nobody had heard a word from Caine since, pomni could only recall leaving the main part of the circus making her way to her room whilst looking behind her, seeing Caine just floating there in silence after the words she had spat out at him, she didn’t care however, maybe it did him some good, she thought. she was too hurt to even bother with him at the moment so she left him there alone, like the rest of the circus members did.

After a short while of being up in her room, laying on her bed, pomni jumped up in fear as she could hear commotion going on outside her room, but not just any commotion, it sounded worser than that, almost like there was a storm brewing outside of her room, she knew she had to check it out so she pushed her legs over the edge of the bed, letting her feet land on the ground, as she stood up she cautiously made her way over to her bedroom door, resting her hand on the door and turning the doorknob, carefully opening the door to see what was going on, on the other side.

“AH-!”

A quick scream left pomni’s mouth before she slammed the door shut and fell right onto the bedroom floor, landing on her back, her body beginning to shake in fear a little as she had never seen anything like it before, she couldn’t even picture in her head what she had just saw, as she sat herself up again, she began realising that she needed Caine, she needed Caine to fix this, everything was a mess and she needed him, she had to brave it and attempt to leave her room.

She got up on her two feet once again and headed for the door, opening it carefully once again, her eyes widening in fear of what she was seeing in front of her very own eyes, the whole circus was nowhere to be seen, all you could see were the doors to everyone else’s rooms, but everything else was hallow, objects flying and hitting everywhere, if you looked around carefully you could see objects from specific adventures pomni and the circus members had been on before, it was almost as if pomni was in the middle of a tornado, everything was flying everywhere, pomni had to watch her step so she didn’t get injured.

She looked down, there didn’t seem to be a floor, everything around her looked like a black void, the rooms of the circus members looked as if they were floating on air, pomni was scared to leave her room, unsure where it would take her but she knew she had to brave it in order to save the other circus members by finding Caine and getting him to fix it. she then took her first step out of her room, one of her eyebrows raising as there was almost an invisible-like floor below her, she could feel some sort of surface with her feet, once she felt that she was relieved knowing she wouldn’t fall into any dark void anytime soon.

After that she took herself fully out of her room, closing the door and making her way down what was once the hallway to all the bedrooms, as she kept walking, keeping her hands to herself, she would look around at all the objects flying around everywhere, as she walked she could see the gloinks from the first time she had arrived at the circus, they were flying around, hitting invisible walls, every now and again pomni would have to duck or dodge for her own safety as majority of the objects were massive and she was so close to getting badly injured, luckily for her she was a quick mover, so she found this relatively easy.

“Caaaaine?.. hellooooo?”

She called out, extending her voice, trying to find out where Caine was, just like the first time she had entered this circus, her voice echoed, surprisingly loud as she kept walking through this mess, glancing around at all the objects that were flying and zooming around all over the place, some objects glitching, as pomni was distracted a massive multi-coloured pink lollipop flew right at her, she screamed in surprise and ducked, letting the lollipop pass her, the lollipop seemed to be the same lollipop’s that were at the canyon candy kingdom, pomni’s second ever adventure here at this circus.

As she tried to manage her stress she began to move again, she just kept walking, no idea where she was walking, everything around her was just a black void, yet somehow she was still walking on a surface, she turned her head and looked behind her, noticing that the doors of the circus members bedrooms were getting further and further away from her, floating in the air, or so it looked like, pomni only hoped that everyone was safe and still in their rooms, this was extremely dangerous for everyone, Caine really doesn’t listen, does he? She thought.

Speaking of Caine, he was still nowhere to be seen, which was odd, surely he would be trying to fix this by now, I mean it looked as if his whole world was falling apart, pomni was amazed that he wasn’t in plain sight, trying to fix things like he always does, as that thought crossed her mind, she began to wonder if Caine really was all that bad, I mean he DID always try to fix his mistakes and he DID always try his best to make the adventures slightly more to everyone’s liking, yet somehow his adventures were still traumatising.

Pomni felt a pit in her tummy as she thought these things, guilt rushing over her as she began to feel some sort of sympathy for Caine, she didn’t want to feel bad for him, she didn’t want to feel anything at all for him, she was so sure that he just didn’t care, I mean why else would he keep making these terrible adventures? If he cared so much about everyone, surely everyone would feel safe and comfortable around him, but they don’t. Pomni tried to ignore her sense of guilt for Caine as she kept walking, however, just as she was about to open her mouth and call for him, she could hear muffled crying in the distance.

Pomni couldn’t make out where the crying was coming from so she began to pick up her pace, running into the middle of nowhere, unsure where her feet would take her but she tried to run into the direction where the crying was coming from, dodging flying objects or anything that flew her way whilst she was running over the invisible-like floor, she slowly began to run out of breath. But that’s when she saw someone in the distance, a familiar face, it was Caine, hunched over, it was him. He was the one who was crying, pomni felt her heart sink.

“Caine? Is that.. you?”

She uttered out a stupid question, fully aware that it was him, however he didn’t reply to her, he just continued to quietly cry, leaving the circus around them in a complete mess, he didn’t seem to care, all he seemed to be focused on was crying, pomni looked over at him with some sympathy now, stepping closer to him, she was getting closer and closer to being right behind him until he finally spoke up.

“Please stay away from me, I don’t want to harm you anymore. It’d be for the best if you didn’t come any further.”

He explained in a pain filled voice, his voice cracking as he tried to speak, pomni had never seen this side to him before, even more so now, this was the most emotional she had ever seen him and she was amazed, as she heard his words her heart sank a little more, she had a feeling this may have been about all the things she said to him earlier, he really needed to hear it, but even pomni could admit that she took her words a little too far.

“Caine..”

Pomni was at a loss for words, all she could mumble was caine’s name as he sat there hunched over, continuing to cry whilst the circus stayed in a complete mess, objects flying around everywhere, almost hitting pomni whilst she was standing behind Caine, trying to figure out how to solve this situation in the best way possible, but it was hard, she had never seen someone who feels this deeply before.. and she was even more shocked that all of this was coming from an AI.

“Are.. are you doing all of this?..”

Pomni stammered on her words, still amazed by everything that was going on around her, she couldn’t take her eyes off of all the flying objects around her, feeling a sense of nostalgia from certain objects as they appeared to be objects from old adventures, she wasn’t surprised however when Caine wasn’t answering her again, he just sat there in despair, crying quietly, his emotions causing the surroundings around the two of them to intensify more, she found it beautiful in a way, terrifying but beautiful, beautiful that he could express his emotions in such a way, beautiful that he could feel so deeply.

She then shook her head, trying to focus on Caine who was in front of her, pushing any feelings she was feeling towards him aside for a brief moment as she needed time fix this, she needed to focus if she wanted everything to stop around her, but mostly, she wanted him to stop crying, it was reassuring to her that he wasn’t just coding, but she also felt this deep sense of sadness seeing him so hurt like this.

“I’m nothing but a useless piece of technology, I can’t even do what I am programmed to do.”

Caine said with a cracked voice, venting out his feelings as if he couldn’t control it, he was starting to glitch a little himself from the strong emotions he was feeling and everything going on around the circus, he must’ve been in a really bad mental state after what pomni had said to him for his emotions to cause all of this, she was still in shock from how different everything looked. A carousel then zoomed into pomni’s direction, she yelped and dodged it as quick as she could, nearly tripping over on her back as it flew right past her, in front of her and Caine before it flew back up into the black void. Pomni then adverted her gaze back to Caine, who was still curled up crying, she looked at him with fear and worry in her eyes.

“Caine, I didn’t mean-“

Just before pomni could finish her sentence another object flew her way, she ducked as it flew over her head, letting out a shaky breath as she stood back up normally, gazing over at Caine, a strong sense of guilt filling her when she realised that she had caused all of this, her words from earlier caused all of this to happen, she only wanted to knock some sense into him, she didn’t mean for all of this to happen, she didn’t mean to have this much of an impact on him.

“I didn’t mean any of that! I was just upset! I was trying to get you to understand!”

Pomni yelled out desperately at Caine, trying to get him to realise that she really didn’t mean what she had said earlier today, it was just heat of the moment, even she could admit that she was a little too harsh on him. He went silent again for a little while, the only thing you could hear was his muffled crying and the crashing of objects flying everywhere, the intensity of his emotions began to heighten the intensity of the objects flying everywhere, it began to get more and more dangerous as the seconds passed by.

“How could you possibly say you didn’t mean it? I know it’s the truth, all I ever do is harm people.. I wasn’t made to be a ringmaster at all.”

Caine continued to speak in that low tone, his voice filled with hurt, his voice becoming slightly distorted from how intense his emotions were hitting him, pomni’s eyes widened at his words, the pangs of guilt getting worse as she began feeling a deep pit in her tummy, she wasn’t sure how she was going to stop this, she had no idea what to do, it sounded almost as if he had been feeling like this long before she came along.

“Hey, Hey, don’t think like that..”

Was all pomni could blurt out, she then paused again, stuck on what to say or how to comfort him, usually Caine was the energetic, funny guy, you’d never expect him to feel this deeply about things, pomni didn’t even know that he could feel at all, given that he’s an AI, she stared over at him anxiously as her words were doing nothing for him, he just continued to breakdown in front of her, the objects continuing to spin and fly around whilst they were both near each other. As pomni was deep in thought, her words began to form and she began to realise what she needed to say to him.

“I think you’re one of the most advanced pieces of technology I’ve ever seen.. you just.. need a bit of guidance, that’s all.”

She said in a soft tone, trying to take a more gentle approach towards him, and as those words left her mouth, everything around them stopped, she gazed up at the black void around the both of them, watching how all the floating objects froze completely still after she said those couple of words to him, the fear inside pomni slowly fading as she no longer had to worry about any objects hitting her or unexpectedly coming towards her, as she looked back over at Caine she noticed him turn his head, his crying seemed to stop, you could only hear light sniffles coming from him now, he seemed to calm down.

“You really think so?..”

He said under his breath, almost in an endearing way which caused pomni to smile warmly at him.

“Yes! I know so.”

She said confidently, trying to reassure him, everything came to a stop now after she said those words, he went silent once again, pomni could see he was still deep in thought but she felt like it was okay to approach him now so she took a few quiet steps up beside him and sat herself down on the invisible-like floor below her, scooting up right beside him, gazing at him with affection in her eyes.

“I don’t want to be like this, Pomni, I try my best, I really do, but no matter what I do you all seem to be unsatisfied with me.”

Caine said softly, opening up to pomni about how he was feeling, she somewhat felt closer to him now knowing that this was how he was really feeling, she had really believed he was just an AI, nothing more, she let out a small sigh at his words, frowning at him and gazing up at him with sympathetic eyes as he stared off into the distance, unable to make full eye contact with her as he was too busy drowning in his own guilt of what had happened earlier today, pomni could see in his eyes that he really felt awful for the hurt and upset he had caused the other circus members, especially her.

“Well, you don’t have to be.. it’s not possible to be this way forever, there’s always room for change, you know?..”

Pomni beamed a gentle smile at him, trying to comfort him, as he heard her words he turned his head and looked down at her for a brief moment, making pomni’s heart skip a beat for some reason, he then looked away and turned his body away from hers, making pomni’s smile fade again, he really was quite difficult to get around.

“I would like that, but it’s too late, pomni, I’ve already done more bad than good, I don’t deserve to be the ringmaster of this circus.”

He mumbled under his breath, pomni’s words really weren’t doing a lot for him in this moment, and it didn’t really come to a surprise to pomni, she understood why he was feeling so guilty, but she didn’t believe Caine was a bad person, she quite liked him at times, he was nice company when he was more relaxed instead of invading everyone’s privacy or harming them in adventures. Sometimes they would have conversations where the both of them laughed together, but pomni also had very mixed feelings for Caine, as one minute he would be nice company, then the next minute he would be putting her and everyone in danger.

“Caine, I don’t think you’re a bad person, sometimes I enjoy spending time with you, and sometimes you do get things right.. I just think you need a little guidance.”

Pomni explained, trying to get him to realise that he could change, and that it wasn’t too late, she put on another soft smile, waiting for him to react, but all he did was keep to himself, looking away from her, he didn’t move an inch, he just stared at the ground in despair, he looked like he had a deep hate for himself, he looked almost scared too, scared that if he continued being the ringmaster he’d just end up hurting people and getting it wrong again, the more pomni looked at him the more she could tell just how guilty he was feeling, he had completely shut off, not saying a word to her.

Even though he didn’t believe he was good enough, pomni believed he was good enough, she did have a little disliking to him after consistently harming people from his adventures, but she knew deep down that he could change, and that he could fix things if he tried, even she could admit to herself that Caine was a pretty good ringmaster at times, he was entertaining, the only issue was that he was way too over the top and doesn’t exactly understand boundaries.

“The adventures.. they don’t prevent the abstractions, they make everyone more closer to abstraction if anything.. they’re too extreme and too.. violent, it leaves everyone in a lot of emotional turmoil once the adventure is over.”

Pomni didn’t give up, she kept trying to explain to him what was wrong, what the issues were, she desperately wanted him to understand, she cracked one last smile at him as she said her few last things to him, but she began to realise that her words were making him feel worse due to his body language, there was still no comment, not a single word left him. As she saw him there, gazing down at the invisible-like floor with pure sadness in his eyes, she began to feel that pit grow in her stomach again, there was something about seeing Caine sad that also made her feel sad too.

But not in the usual way, like when the other circus members would feel sad, she felt sad to some extent, but seeing Caine like this almost hurt her on a deeper level, he was usually so lively and bubbly, and in a way, he always lit up the room with his energy, and she liked that about him, he had some great traits, and she did grow to like him at least a little bit, even if he wasn’t the greatest person to be around at times.

As they were sat there, the circus still in a mess and nowhere to be seen, pomni clenched her fists as she thought about what she wanted to say to Caine next, she couldn’t believe what she was about to say, but she knew deep down she meant it, and she knew he needed to hear something like this in a situation like this.

“I think you make a good ringmaster, and.. I’d like to look at the circus again, you know, in all it’s colourful glory…”

She laughed sheepishly and gazed up at all the floating objects that were spread out around the black void surrounding the two of them, whilst she was taking in all the objects around her, caine’s eyes widened at her words, he was surprised to hear her say that she’d like to see his circus again, his body language changed now and he sat up more, he stopped hugging himself and turned his head to look at pomni, his eyes glistening in excitement as he thought about her words. For some reason, he cared about pomni’s opinion more than anyone in that circus, this meant a lot to him.

“You like my circus?”

He said with hope in his voice, pomni’s eyes widened at his words as she realised what she had just said to him, she laughed nervously and scratched the back of her jester hat, glancing up at him quickly before gazing back down at the invisible-like floor, staring down at the black void that was below them.

“I uh.. well, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, I would still really like to go home, and I miss home, but…”

Pomni cut off her words for a moment, thinking about what she was about to say whilst Caine looked at her, his eyes glistening with hope, however she was still yet to notice the way he was looking at her, she was too focused on what she was saying, hoping she wasn’t making a fool out of herself or something.

“If that circus has to be my home, then maybe I wouldn’t mind after all…”

She uttered under her breath, moving her hand to her chest and smiling slightly, thinking about the circus and all the memories she had made so far, because yes, there was lots and lots and LOTS of bad memories, but there was also quite a few good ones too, good memories that she would like to cherish for a long time, if not forever.

“Thank you, pomni, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

Caine said, his voice full of appreciation, he took his hat off of his mouth-like head and held it in his hands, looking at her with a deep longing in his eyes, after hearing her words he also couldn’t help but feel a small blush float just under his eyes, he felt something new, perhaps he would have to check for a bug in his coding later. Pomni turned her head to look up at him now once she heard him say his thank you, her eyes widened as she saw him stare at her, his eyes glistening with hope, which for some reason made her cheeks heat up.

“Uhhh.. Yeah, don’t.. worry about it, it’s really no biggie…”

She laughed nervously, quickly looking away from him again as she felt her cheeks heating up a deeper shade of red, her heart racing as she couldn’t believe she just said all that to him, however, she didn’t feel embarrassed because of what she said, she realised that she was embarrassed because of the way he was looking at her, the way he looked at her with pure longing in his eyes made her feel something, something that she didn’t really want to think about or consider.

The two of them were sat beside one another in silence again, the silence somewhat awkward, well for pomni mainly, she let herself calm down first before she turned her head and gazed up at Caine once more, and to her surprise she found herself reaching her hand out for Caine to hold, opening her mouth to say something to him.

“So.. how about we fix this, then?”

She cracked an awkward smile at him, and to her surprise he gazed down at her hand and he actually took it, placing his hand in hers, but before she had time to think or even express how she felt, everything went black for a brief second before suddenly everything went back to normal, the circus was back, everything was back to just the way it should be, colourful and bright, she gazed down and noticed her and Caine were floating above the main stage, she was a little puzzled on how she was now in the main area of the circus and not in the corridors to the bedrooms, but before she got to react more, a few of the circus members ran out in front of them, looking somewhat distressed, they must’ve seen what was going on just a few moments ago.

“Caine, thank god you fixated the issue! I was starting to think I’d never be able to find my insect collection again..”

Kinger cheered before going back to his usual self and dissociating, pomni noticed zooble standing next to him however, their eyes seemingly scanning her and Caine.

“Yeah, that’s cool and all but.. Pomni.. why on Earth are you holding caine’s hand?..”

Zooble raised an eyebrow, their voice stern and confused as they gazed at pomni holding caine’s hand, once pomni heard zooble’s words she instantly yanked her hand away from caine’s, her eyes wide and her cheeks going red once again from pure embarrassment.

“UHHH.. OH GOD! CAINE! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise!”

She blurted out, looking at Caine with wide eyes, her cheeks a bright red whilst Caine turned to her, his teeth curving into what seemed like a smile as he let her float back down onto the surface.

“It’s quite alright, my dear! I don’t mind whatsoever!”

Caine spoke out in his usual, happy voice before floating away from pomni and instead heading towards the other circus members who were right in front of him, zooble was still looking over at pomni in confusion before they adverted their gaze back up to Caine.

“Now, my superstars, I believe we have a few things we need to change!”

Pomni heard Caine speak out cheerfully in the distance, an affectionate smile formed on her face now as she heard his words, he really was willing to change for everyone, she felt her heart skip a beat a little, realising he really did care for the circus and everyone living in it, it made her appreciate him just a little bit more.

He really was a good ringmaster, she thought to herself.

. . .

HERE ARE A COUPLE OF OLD SHOWTIME PLUSHIE PHOTOS I ALSO TOOK, I TOOK THESE A FEW MONTHS BACK AND THOUGHT THEY’D GO WELL WITH THIS POST.

Anyways guys, I hope you liked the fic, I’m not great at writing, like I said, but hopefully you guys were able to enjoy it 🙏🙏

SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF SHOWTIME 🎪 !

(art by sm-baby)

Bad romance - lady gaga

Say it back - luna day

Rewrite the stars - Zac efron, Zendaya

Louise - TV Girl

Judas - Lady gaga

Out of touch - Daryl hall & John oates

A human’s touch - TWRP, McKenna rae

That’s so us - Allie X

Addicted - luna day

Somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra, nancy sinatra

Fight or flight - Conan gray

Can’t sleep love - Pentatonix

. . .

okay, I cant stop spam posting about these two, I love them so much 🤒 I have a whole playlist about them, but these songs SPECIFICALLY remind me so much of them, I feel like they fit very well for pomni and caine’s dynamic 🙏

made this for fun, not gonna be a actual doujinshi