Cortes Doodle World - Tumblr Posts
Imagine Cortés is also in charge of the Wifi security at DoodleCo, like bro has probably seen some weird ass search results from all kinds of people, especially other executives. I like to think this is how he knows things about them. Like Teneson googles shit like "How do I capture rat" or something. Portia's searching up some fanfiction stuff, like Ao3 and Wattpad. Cause ya know damn well the girl is into that. "Yami" has difficulty searching on google, old geezer. He doesn't know how tech works and has to have "Inari" help him. Also "Inari" definitely searches japanese shit like anime, naruto merch and other things. Cortés tells his subordinates which is how they know about everyone else, Rufus definitely knows from Cortés.
"What about the rumors that you're the most hated person in DoodleCo?" Cortés: In a country full of neanderthals, I wear the fucking badge of honor. "What about the rumors that you got divorced?" Cortés: WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT Like y'all can't convince me that this man didn't get divorced with how he was quick to bring Ellen's lack of husband when she told him that no one loves him.
It's funny how some people think Cortés hates women or is misogynistic or toxic masculinity. He's toxic masculinity in a sense that, he's super toxic and he's masculine. Which is funny to me. He's not a misogynist or hates women, he refers to Ellen and Portia as "ladies" after all. He clearly has class and standards. "Where are the two ladies? They're late." "The two ladies here failed their task of getting the key, even though they were working together." He attacks everyone there, no one is safe, not even Teneson, who outranks him. Which goes to show how he'll go for everyone. To him, everyone is the same. Equal rights, equal fights. It don't matter if you're a child, elderly or outclass him in rank, he'll still talk shit about you if you're lesser than him in his eyes. He'll respect your gender or sexuality, but he'll find ways to personally get under your skin and pick a fight with you. He has standards and class yet still an asshole. That's why I love him so much.
I had a dream once with Cortes spitting out some poorly made food and saying some witty line like, "That's a wedding soup? I'd rather get a divorce" But in Spanish, he sounded exactly like Gordon Ramsey to me in that dream for some reason.
I feel like Cortes would say smth like; "How did you lose more times than rounds exist?? You've been in 12 rounds, and you lost 13 times How?? The math isn't mathing Rebecca didn't die so you can discombobulate her theories with your poor performance"
Heavy is Dead but with Doodle World
SPOILERS IN BOUND this contains... MAJOR SPOILERS Rebecca, just walking: *singing about being alive* It is good day to be not dead ! POW ! Joseph: You are DEAD ! Rebecca: I'M DEAD! Joseph: hehehe... *Teneson walks in* Ah shucks Teneson: OH! Rebecca is DEAD ! Rebecca: Yes I am dead ! Teneson: WHY is Rebecca dead ?! Joseph: I dunno Rebecca: I think it was- Joseph & Teneson: SHH, You are dead ! Rebecca: ok *clips through floor* Lucas: What's up, you wankers ?! Who's up for a... *quick realization* AH! What the bloody hell just happened ?! Rebecca is dead! Lucas: Rebecca is dead?! Teneson: Correct! 🎉🎉🎉 👏👏 Teneson: SO, did you see the murderer ? Joseph & Riffraff: No, sorry mate. Teneson: *stands up and slams table* I will find him, I will capture him, and no one will ever die again ! Joseph: *clapping* Ah, well that's nice Riffraff: *clapping* I am DAMN proud right now. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Cortés: ATTEEEEEEEEEENTION! 🫡 Rebecca is dead! Teneson: We know! Cortés: Who killed her ?! Teneson: We don't know. Cortés: I will find clues! *finds clues* Cortés: What's that ? A WEAPUN ?! *points it at everyone* 🔫 Cortés: That thing is why Rebecca is DEAD! Everyone: Rebecca is dead ?! Cortés: *slams table* YES SHE DIED! Everyone: *gasp* *voice from distance rapidly approaching* Ellen: Incoming! *runs over Cortés* raus, Raus! *shoves everyone aside* MOVE, NOW! *kiss* Rebecca: HAHAHA, Reb- *explodes* Ellen: In my financial opinion, that REBECCA IS DEAD! Riffraff: El, What happened? Ellen: My proffessional opinion ? Rebecca was killed ! *panic* Ellen: I don't think it's anything to worry about. 🤷♀️🤷♀️*hops away* Riffraff: Well, now what ? Quincy, slowly approaching: clipidy clop motherfucker Teneson: OH come on... Quincy: Lookatdis Frickin Rebecca is dead! ... Quincy: What do you think of that ? ... Quincy: ahm... Teneson: Yes, yes, Quincy Quincy: yeah? Teneson: GO HOME. Portia: *waves* Quincy: AH COME ON! pfffff freakingunbelievablenoseriouslyyouallsuck *teleports into a wall* AHHHH Teneson: Okay. Let's get back to the point ⬅️ Rebecca: I think Rebecca is dead. Everyone: REBECCA IS DEAD ?!??! Ellen: Quincy! I will save you! *clips into wall* Rebecca: OH, Seriously ??! WHO KILLED REBECCA ?! Yami:🍾 It was ME! Everyone: *shooketh* Yami: YES! 🍷 I did it like this : BOOM ! *misses and kills Desmond* 💀💀 Yami: WOOP DEE DOO Everyone: 😨😨😨 Yami: 🍺 That's a joke Everyone: 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂 Yami: It was... yo- *burp* *points to Joseph*🫵 HIM ! Joseph & Teneson: *gasp* Joseph: How did you know ? Yami: I didn't 💨💨 That was a joke too 🍸 Joseph: *laughing* 😈😈 That's right ! It was me! Teneson: You MONSTER! Rebecca: BUT WHYYYYY? ? Joseph: Coz ur FAT, bitch. And another thing, you're ugly *they both argue* [It's Tradition] Rebecca: 🄹🄾🅂🄴🄿🄷 Joseph: AH DAMMIT REBECCA FUCK OFF! you are Dead! Rebecca: NO u POW ! *kills Joseph* You are dead No big surprise Teneson: Well that was idiotic. Off to- *dies* Rebecca, surrounded by corpses: I am alive! is nice
Doodle World Executive Headcanons!
I headcanon that Charles writes in really old cursive, like the Declaration of Independence type of cursive. I mean he is one of the founders of DoodleCo, and he's a father. And I imagine that Teneson is the only one that can read his writing, not even Rebecca and Lucas can read his writing. Teneson is the only person Charles trusts to do anything when he isn't there to do it. So, Cortés ain't getting that position lmao. Cortés is a big fan of battling and trains his Adventure Unit really hard is because he loves the attention and how much it boosts his ego. And if someone boosts his ego, he'll tolerate them just a bit more than other people. "Yami" uses his sword like a walker, because he's that old. Old geezer. Ellen likes shiny objects and has loads of shiny rocks from Portia. I mean, in canon Ellen already has like... 500 misprints 💀💀 It's clear she likes shiny things. Quincy even gives her shiny coins he has when he was a kid, and she still has them. Joseph gave Ellen a ✨Misprint✨ Louis in order to impress her and get her to like him (he really trying to be Lucas) She took the Louis because she likes misprints but she just doesn't... like Joseph 😭😭 When making Artificial Runestones, since there was no reference for how to make one, Portia decided to make the ones that needed some extra strength, like Owol, Calamander, Hypnotl. (don't ask me how tf Portia knew Ostigon existed since I have no idea)
i like to think that Cortés likes bugs
the other person is Ellen btw :3