Disabled Nonhuman - Tumblr Posts

6 months ago

Loved this post. The 4th part really describes it well. Happy Disability Pride Month, even though it's the end.

It's easier for me to feel pride with being Autistic and ADHD but harder when it comes to my chronic pain [that I know I have and need to talk to my doctor about] bc the chronic pain makes it even more difficult if not impossible/almost impossible to do certain things that I want to.

It's ok to have a hard time with your disabilities and feel pride. It's ok if you can't yet feel pride when it comes to your disabilities. Hope you all have good days!

titled: July is disability pride month. a picture of the disabled flag labelled "better than the old one" and a doodle of my sona labelled "me: disabled"
text reads; I struggle though, to find pride in myself, in my disability. 
I am disabled  because I'm ill, I was probably born ill. 
I spent my teenage years begging to be heard. slowly getting more and more sick as everyone around me achieved more and more
Everyone talking about future plans, where they want to be in 10 years. while I was just hoping I would still be able to walk in 10 years.

it's hard to feel proud of something that has caused me to grieve time and time again since I was only a kid.

Every dream I had abandoned or put on hold as I could do less an less
am I meant to feel joy at everything I've lost?
Am I meant to feel proud of suffering?
Everything I achieve, I achieve despite my deteriorating health.
But I don't say that to be inspiring. 
(in large red text) I say that in pain.
(in the normal dark text) Because I wish I could do more, everything I do has to be a fight against my body, a fight against the endless exhaustion.

Struggling everyday has not made me strong, 
it's made me tired
Chronic illness and disability can be complicated, and for some will always be a source of pain, often times quite literally.

With many unwilling to help or understand, watching people live and leave you behind

It's isolating
Especially so if your disability is like mine, if it stems from chronic illness, if it's dynamic 

It's scary navigating each new flare up and hoping it's not permanent, it's difficult to makes plans when your health fluctuates so much day to day.

I can go from seeming healthy and able bodied one day, with only moderate pain or tiredness. 
To being unable to sleep properly, to being in too much pain to eat properly, to being too tired to speak properly - the remnants of my stutter apperent.

As the good days grow few I just have to hope I can do what I love for as long as possible.
But I think it's okay, if you're similar to me and you can't find pride in your disability. 
we may never find pride in it, we are still worthy of love, of being listened to.
Even if our circumstances leave us bitter or angry. 
and I hope for all of us,
that will still find pride and joy, even if not in our health 

I hope we find it elsewhere
Happy disability pride month, to everyone like me,
struggling

Happy July, happy disability pride month


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6 months ago

I'm bored and can't sleep [it's a little after 4 am where I am lol], so here's a thing about me that I'm kinda surprised I haven't talked about yet, lol.

When I was Zuki, I had a service dog [in this life, I also need an SD, I'm gonna probably post a separate thing about that at some point], he was a german shepherd named Remo (meaning strong one or something like that lol). I miss him as much as I miss anyone else from my canon, maybe a bit more than certain people, but I feel like that should be understandable, he helped me actually live life, yeah I still had problems but they would've been way worse without Remo. He helped me actually be able to do more than I would've without him, as service dogs do lol, but still.

I'm really bad with words and shit and it's late/early, so that's likely not helping. But just yeah, thought I'd share this, not sure if anyone even really cares, but whatever, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lup! :3c


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4 months ago

When I actually get my shit together and work on getting a service dog in this life, I am probably gonna try and get a german shepherd and name them Remo or something similar cause yeah.

When I get my shit together, I will probably be asking for donations, but I want to know more before asking for money. I am unsure of what program I am going to use exactly, I have an idea, but idk yet.

I should probably try and get diagnosed anxiety [cause I haven't been diagnosed, but it's definitely obvious] and maybe look into OCD and PTSD more? I know I have trauma and shit, I just don't know if it's PTSD levels or whatever. And the OCD I am unsure if it's just the AuDHD combo or OCD as well.

If anyone has any advice about any of this that relates to America, please feel free to give the advice.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)

I'm bored and can't sleep [it's a little after 4 am where I am lol], so here's a thing about me that I'm kinda surprised I haven't talked about yet, lol.

When I was Zuki, I had a service dog [in this life, I also need an SD, I'm gonna probably post a separate thing about that at some point], he was a german shepherd named Remo (meaning strong one or something like that lol). I miss him as much as I miss anyone else from my canon, maybe a bit more than certain people, but I feel like that should be understandable, he helped me actually live life, yeah I still had problems but they would've been way worse without Remo. He helped me actually be able to do more than I would've without him, as service dogs do lol, but still.

I'm really bad with words and shit and it's late/early, so that's likely not helping. But just yeah, thought I'd share this, not sure if anyone even really cares, but whatever, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lup! :3c


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