This Body May Be Human But I Am Not - Tumblr Posts

Reblog if you're not human

I wanna draw what I look[ed] like and post it so bad, but I'm not great at drawing, lol. I love drawing, but I kinda suck at it, and usually, that doesn't bother me, but in this case it does cause it's supposed to be me and I don't really wanna mess up on it or something like that.

Would anyone even care if I did that? Like, would it even matter? Idk, I'll probably end up drawing and posting it soon, hopefully. If I even get the stupid motivation for it, lol.

Would anyone want to see a drawing of me? Like genuinely wondering.

- Zuki Shay Lupo! :3c [yes, I like to end my posts like this. Don't judge me, lol]

I'm bored and can't sleep [it's a little after 4 am where I am lol], so here's a thing about me that I'm kinda surprised I haven't talked about yet, lol.

When I was Zuki, I had a service dog [in this life, I also need an SD, I'm gonna probably post a separate thing about that at some point], he was a german shepherd named Remo (meaning strong one or something like that lol). I miss him as much as I miss anyone else from my canon, maybe a bit more than certain people, but I feel like that should be understandable, he helped me actually live life, yeah I still had problems but they would've been way worse without Remo. He helped me actually be able to do more than I would've without him, as service dogs do lol, but still.

I'm really bad with words and shit and it's late/early, so that's likely not helping. But just yeah, thought I'd share this, not sure if anyone even really cares, but whatever, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lup! :3c

This. I am also both trans [under the umbrella, specifically under the nonbinary umbrella, lol] and alterhuman/nonhuman (I use both terms, as well as some others) and my gender and species dysphoria a lot of the time go together.

Also, my friend who is trans also sees how similar it is at times for gender and species dysphoria because I talk to him about my species (and gender but that's not the point here) dysphoria. [I hope this part makes any sense, lol].

Both my gender and species dysphoria fucking suck, I get a similar feeling from both. One [in my case] just feels a little bit worse. Cause to me, it almost feels like I'll always be seen as just a human even more than always being seen as the gender I am not. I am not a human, Idc what this body is, I am not my body. I am not my body in the way of gender as well, but I feel like more people respect that (not trying to undermine anyone's experience, hell I deal with transphobia all the time even if the people who are don't know I am trans). People seem to understand it more. It's something that makes more sense to them.

I really hope that this makes sense, lol.

I think the whole "therianthropy is a mockery of transness" lie did a LOT of damage to our community. We're afraid to draw parallels that are actually quite helpful.

"Trans" is an adjective that can 8e appended to words like woman, man, or person to add extra context. This is how I 8elieve alterhuman la8els should 8e used: "fictionkind Vriska" shares a little more context around my experience than just "Vriska", and "therian spider" shares a little more context around my experience than just "a spider." However, I don't really ever see people just saying "spider" or "Vriska," or any counterparts. You get the gist. There have 8een a lot of posts around this topic recently (most from me of course LOL) 8ut that's not it.

I also feel like this has made us afraid to discuss species dysphoria as anything 8eyond "I have this 8tw." Like, no? This isn't just a sad feeling that pops up occasionally. It is deha8ilit8ing. I am as much as a suicide risk as any trans person with gender dysphoria. This portrayal of species dysphoria has normalized invalid8ion IMO. Misgendering is never okay, 8ut... The alterhuman equivalent? It's fine! No hard feelings there. (Don't get transmedicalist a8out this, I'll 8ite you.)

I. Can't think of any more actually! So please re8log with any examples you have, I'd love to hear.

Random little thing, I have now [by that I mean for a little bit] been kinsidering ANOTHER MHA OCkin/noncanon character. This is fun, totally [slightly sarcastic].

But seriously, why did this have to happen?

I don't know much, lol. This basically came from me realizing that I sometimes [a lot actually] feel like I have/had a different quirk (power) and shit than I do/did as Zuki.

Help. Idk what's going on. I'll probably update on this situation when I know more about this kintype/possible kintype [it feels so weird to call it that, it's me, it's myself].

The fact that because of the nature [is that the right word?] of the/my quirk (power), I questioned two other OCs/non canon characters that I remember from being Zuki and neither fit properly. Also, I'm not sure if it's/I'm from the same AU as Zuki.

[This feels weird to explain and probably isn't even understandable by anyone but myself, lol].

I have no idea what my name even is/was, lol. Has anyone else ever experienced this, or is it just me? Lol.

Just realized maybe this is another Zuki kintype, like from a different AU but still Zuki [though that doesn't seem quite right, idk].

(Messing around with strikeouts, hopefully this doesn't make it too hard to read for others, sorry if it does).

My college had a club rush thing [where the clubs have tables and you can sign up for them]!!!! And there was an art club table with stickers!!!!! There were a lot of MHA ones!!! These are just some of the ones I got and decided to put on my laptop!!

I know people [irl, not people who see this post, lol] are probably gonna think a lot of negative things about me because of this, but at this point, idc.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a good day!!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx) :3c

{My pronouns do kinda "shift" in the way of I like some more one day and others the next, today my preferred ones are what are in the parentheses. They/them is always preferred.}

What's an OCkin?

Hello! Thanks for the ask!

So, an OCkin is a type of fictionkin [someone who identifies partly or fully as a fictional character] for OCs, which are original characters.

For me, I have only OCkin types when it comes to fictionkin types. My blog is based around one of said kin types (I kinda hate saying it like this, but it's the "correct" way of saying it and makes it easier to understand), Zuki, who is a My Hero Academia OC that I made before realizing that I am Zuki.

In my case, this identity [and most of my other alterhuman/nonhuman identities] comes from a past life. Not everyone's does, though, and no matter what someone's identity comes from, it's valid [whether their identity is psychological, spiritual, physical, or if there's any other types they are valid].

This has kind of gone on a slightly similar but also different tangent, lol. If anyone else has anything to add to my post here, feel free! Also, I hope this makes sense to you!

- Zuki Shay Lupo [They/xe] :3c

I'm bored, it's around 1:45 am (this time has changed a lot since I first started writing this, lol) where I am rn. Let's talk about my questioning OCkin type that I mentioned before [on like August 18th]. I don't know too much more than I did then (though it's been less than a month, soooo yeah). I just realized I never actually explained my quirk/power then, lol.

So, my quirk with this kintype was like a werecreature/animal shifting quirk. I could change into certain animals (canines, felines, and some birds [crows, ravens, birds in that family (is that the right word?)] and I could turn into a werecreature type being. That last part was more prominent (stronger and easier to change into) around full moons [typical for werecreatures in most things, lol]. My werecreature form was more canine like, especially wolf and dog like, though sometimes I was more feline like (idk why it would change, but it did).

When not in either form from my quirk, I looked human-like [I say it this way cause I am not human now and wasn't human then] but I had my ears and tail, which were both a mixture between canine and feline like, my tail was especially canine like and my ears were more of a "half and half" mix, lol. I am unsure if I had wings physically, if I didn't then I had phantom wings, which does seem kinda right cause I'm pretty sure I was trying to see if there was anything that could be made or done to actually give me my wings.

I don't know if it's my actual name from this kintype but I have been using Okami to refer to this kin, so add that to my list of names, lol (I genuinely have a list of 'preferred names')

-Zuki Shay Lupo or Okami! (They/ze) :3c

[Xe and ze are pretty equal for preferred pronouns rn, lol]

[TW: Death and shit that comes with that, idk maybe more? If you find any more things that should be in this trigger warning pls tell me.]

Also, shit is happening in my life rn. I recently [on September 11th] lost my cousin, she died and we aren't sure how exactly yet. So, yeah. Death is fucking weird and I don't think I process it normally (AuDHD). So I may end up not posting for a while or might end up posting like every day.

Just sharing so ya'll know what's going on if I disappear for a while [even though I would likely do that even without this shit happening].

We aren't sure when the funeral thing is happening yet, I slightly hope it's soon so I can see my family, I don't live by that side of the family, sadly. Probably gonna end up missing like a day of college, but whatever, my family [my pack] is more important to me.

My cousin left behind a son. He is a kid. He's younger than I was when my mom in this life died. [I was like 16 when that happened, and I won't be sharing how old my 2nd cousin is]. So I really wanna see that side of my family, so I can try and be there for him. He's gonna need people there for him, and if I could without getting in trouble, I would drop out of college rn to be around him while he is going through this. (Protective wolf/dog instincts?)

There's just a lot of shit going on rn with my life, I wish it would stop for a bit.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/xe/ze) :((

[We is referring to my family, btw]

Made some pins/buttons at my college's "Maker Space" as they call it, lol.

Ignore how bad they look, I had to draw the designs by paw, lol [I am refusing to say hand].

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/he/hx) :3c

{He/him and hx/hxm pronouns are equal to which I prefer, lol}

[I also almost put my actual preferred name instead of Zuki, lol]

I wanna talk about the terms/identities I use for my alterhuman/nonhuman identities.

Alterhuman: I use this term as an overall and kinda a specific identity. It's like the way I use queer for myself.

Nonhuman: Same as alterhuman but more specific on the fact that I am not human. The only thing "human" about "me" is the body that I am in.

Therian: I haven't really been using this term for a while. No real reason just prefer the 2 mentioned before. I still use the symbol for this though [can't remember what it's called rn]

Otherkin: I think the only things I use from this would be calling them kintypes other than that I don't use this term. No real reason other than alterhuman and nonhuman feel better to me.

Fictionkin/Ockin: Putting these together cause all I have are ockins so far. I do use these terms but not as often as the first 2 terms/identities.

I can't think of any other terms or identities I use at this point, will update this post if I think of anymore. I'll probably try and make it clear what is the original and what would be an update.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)

[Trying out it/its pronouns, this is the best place for me to do it. Cause I don't want it to be in a negative way, I want it to be positive, and I feel like here is the best place for that.]

Update that's probably long overdue. The memorial/funeral already happened. There were a lot of people there, so at least I know my cousin was loved and did love a lot.

Shit still sucks, I have recently dropped or been dropped from all but one class [I had three], so that's great [/sarcastic]. I am really starting to wondering if college is right for me, I will definitely be taking at least one term off and if I go back to college it will probably be a different one so I can pretty much have a fresh start. I luckily don't need a college degree to do what I want to do, which is to become a dog trainer specializing in service dogs.

I also need to try and work on getting myself a service dog, which I believe I mentioned a while ago. Motivation is so hard to find to do shit so I can actually live a somewhat "normal" life.

Sorry about the rant, life just kinda sucks rn. But there's also good shit. This is just about the bad shit rn.

Something good is I'll be going to see that side of my family again soon for a barbecue [is that spelled right? I have a specific learning disability (what it is listed as on my paperwork, lol)] so that'll be fun.

I'll actually be able to talk to my queer cousin about shit again, lol. My father and brother in this life are homophobic and transphobic and shit so that's not fun, but I do have an old cousin who is queer that I love hanging out with and wish I could hang out with more. As well as my younger cousin [who was the son of my cousin who died], he's cool to hang out with as well, lol.

My older cousin streams, but I don't know if I should say their username or not. I'll not say it for now at least.

Hope ya'll are having good days and shit! :3c

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it mainly)

Edit: I forgot tags

[TW: Death and shit that comes with that, idk maybe more? If you find any more things that should be in this trigger warning pls tell me.]

Also, shit is happening in my life rn. I recently [on September 11th] lost my cousin, she died and we aren't sure how exactly yet. So, yeah. Death is fucking weird and I don't think I process it normally (AuDHD). So I may end up not posting for a while or might end up posting like every day.

Just sharing so ya'll know what's going on if I disappear for a while [even though I would likely do that even without this shit happening].

We aren't sure when the funeral thing is happening yet, I slightly hope it's soon so I can see my family, I don't live by that side of the family, sadly. Probably gonna end up missing like a day of college, but whatever, my family [my pack] is more important to me.

My cousin left behind a son. He is a kid. He's younger than I was when my mom in this life died. [I was like 16 when that happened, and I won't be sharing how old my 2nd cousin is]. So I really wanna see that side of my family, so I can try and be there for him. He's gonna need people there for him, and if I could without getting in trouble, I would drop out of college rn to be around him while he is going through this. (Protective wolf/dog instincts?)

There's just a lot of shit going on rn with my life, I wish it would stop for a bit.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/xe/ze) :((

[We is referring to my family, btw]

When I actually get my shit together and work on getting a service dog in this life, I am probably gonna try and get a german shepherd and name them Remo or something similar cause yeah.

When I get my shit together, I will probably be asking for donations, but I want to know more before asking for money. I am unsure of what program I am going to use exactly, I have an idea, but idk yet.

I should probably try and get diagnosed anxiety [cause I haven't been diagnosed, but it's definitely obvious] and maybe look into OCD and PTSD more? I know I have trauma and shit, I just don't know if it's PTSD levels or whatever. And the OCD I am unsure if it's just the AuDHD combo or OCD as well.

If anyone has any advice about any of this that relates to America, please feel free to give the advice.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)

I'm bored and can't sleep [it's a little after 4 am where I am lol], so here's a thing about me that I'm kinda surprised I haven't talked about yet, lol.

When I was Zuki, I had a service dog [in this life, I also need an SD, I'm gonna probably post a separate thing about that at some point], he was a german shepherd named Remo (meaning strong one or something like that lol). I miss him as much as I miss anyone else from my canon, maybe a bit more than certain people, but I feel like that should be understandable, he helped me actually live life, yeah I still had problems but they would've been way worse without Remo. He helped me actually be able to do more than I would've without him, as service dogs do lol, but still.

I'm really bad with words and shit and it's late/early, so that's likely not helping. But just yeah, thought I'd share this, not sure if anyone even really cares, but whatever, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lup! :3c

[Not alterhuman/nonhuman related]

I'm 19 years old. I'm going to go trick or treating. I don't care that I'm an adult. When I was younger, I had issues with trick or treating cause I was a scared pup so I have only really been going trick or treating properly in the last like 4 or 5 years, a little before COVID time. So let me have my fun.

Also, if anyone says anything about my scared past self, listen I was a young pup and was very terrified of scary things, I am still not entirely into scary things, some I like more than others, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Be yourself and do what you want to do as long as no one gets hurt.

if a teenager is at your door and they are wearing a costume!! please give them candy!! they are still in it for the halloween spirit and it honestly no different from a little kid in a costume. they are just as excited and happy as all the other lil tykes and dont you dare tell them they are “too old for trick-or-treating” because that will literally break their hearts and that’s not cool.