Emotional Stability - Tumblr Posts

achievements

I was reading through someone's voluminous therapy records for work yesterday and the therapist had a section about goals/objectives (the software probably required that) and the only goal listed was "become emotionally stable" and that just seems like asking a lot for anyone. Maybe they should include some goals that would be more within reach, like "don't use cocaine this week" " don't bite anyone unless provoked" or "keep your clothes on in public". I can only assume the client does not see and is not told the goals because knowing that you have failed or are failing to achieve your one goal of emotional stability does not strike me as a helpful thing.

I'm an outwardly neutral person most of the time. But when I'm at my wit's end like autistic burnout, or I'm withdrawing off prescription meds (like I am now), I can feel the flood barrier in my eyes degrading. The mask comes off for a millisecond. And it's for the most random, stupid shit, too. Something just has to be joyful to make my eyes well. Literally, I just read:

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, If no one else can help and if you can find them. Maybe you can hire, The A-Team."

And my eyes welled up and I was momentarily faced with an overwhelming sadness combined with happy/sad tears trying to escape. My mind goes,

"The A-Team brought so much joy every Saturday morning to children and adults all over. It was all so beautiful then, and nobody can have it anymore. We'll never have that world back. Nothing will ever be the same again. It's just so nostalgic. I want everyone to be happy and watch The A-Team."

The point here is that I'm not known to cry by anyone I know. But even the seemingly emotionally strongest of us are just really good at hiding it and throwing it away. Could be from masking, could be from conditioning. Either way, the A-Team intro message momentarily brought tears to my eyes, and that was funny enough to me to post on Tumblr.

It's okay to experience moments or days or weeks of hypersensitivity, empathy on overdrive, or just random bursts or overwhelming emotions brought on by random things. That can just mean we've been holding it all in for too long. We're at max capacity.

Let yourself feel. I certainly don't. I shut it down immediately out of some sick instinct. Don't be like me. Have a full Häagen-Dazs cry fest about outdated action shows.