Thewalruswasmostdefinitelypaul - Niles - Tumblr Blog

How am I supposed to differentiate between what I'm actually interested in and what's just a passing hyper fixation that I'll just waste loads of money on only to abandon in a few weeks' time?

Honestly, not knowing who you are and what you actually enjoy is exhausting.

Stimming isn't enough. I need to violently vibrate out of existence

I graduated high school in 99.

There was a student at our school named Wayne.

Wayne was gay. It was obvious. He was unable to stay in the closet even if he wanted to. To make matters worse, he was also Black. From a bullying standpoint, that was not a great combo. Both Black and white students made fun of him relentlessly. He was ostracized from the only community that may have given him protection. Only us theater kids stuck up for him, but not to significant effect.

Wayne was bullied so much that at one point he finally snapped and attacked his bullies with a lunch tray. I was actually seated in perfect line of sight and just sat there chewing my soggy fries in stunned silence. It didn't even seem real as I was witnessing it. The image of him wailing on his main bully as the food on his tray flew off is permanently logged into my long term memory.

The bully he attacked had blood all over his face and went straight to the nurse. Other than superficial cuts, he was not injured.

Before the attack, Wayne went to teachers for help. He went to guidance counselors for help. He went to the principals for help.

He did all of the things you were supposed to do. No one helped him. They wagged a finger at the bullies and warned them to stop.

Wayne's lunch tray melee was the only thing that worked. His bullies stayed far away from him. But a week later Wayne was expelled and the bullies were given no punishment.

So... no.

No one in my school talked about being trans.

Because the only way to survive being openly queer was to bash people with a lunch tray.

Police supporters regularly admit that the police are the bad guys. They just don't care.

“YoU sHoUlDn’T cAlL yOuR mEdS dRuGs!!1!” Shut up, Karen. They’re my drugs, I can call them what I want. 

Kill Nazis

remembering that time I explained on Twitter that Jews are 0.2% of the world’s population and control like 1.2% of its wealth

while Christians are 30-something percent of the world’s population and control 55% of its wealth

so, like, there IS a minority of the world’s population controlling the majority of its wealth

Christians.

and of course a bunch of utter walnuts were like “SEE??? this proves that Jews ARE disproportionately wealthy!!!”

which, like, sure

sure

we have $1.20 to Christians’ $55

but sure, individually we average out to having a bit more pocket change than the world’s average

a couple of things, though:

-those are AVERAGES—it doesn’t mean that every Jew you meet is wealthy, especially because…

-we are such a small population that the existence of *one Jewish billionaire* would skew the average, learn what an average is ffs, if there are 10 of us and 1 is a billionaire and the rest of us have $0 dollars, on average we each have $100,000,000 but in reality 9 of us still have $0 dollars

-y’all killed off a LOT of our poor people less than a century ago which also tends to skew the average

The minority group (in the sense of being less than half the population; they’re still the largest religion) controlling the majority of the world’s wealth is Christians. Sorry about your favorite conspiracy theory.

I've never seen Good Omens, which, in retrospect, seems extremely weird for me.

I already have a fascination with Abrahamic literature and film. Actually, I love all mythology, especially Greek. It's a special interest, I think. I have a hard time telling people I have a special interest in mythology because I'm an agnostic athiest and profoundly against religious institutions in practice. But as stories, they're brilliant tools for storytelling.

Do you like religion?

Yes.

Do you *like* religion?

No.

I also love the work I've seen from Neil Gaiman (which is admittedly not a lot), and I love the leads (Michael Sheen & David Tennant).

AND, I see that the neurodivergent community at large absolutely loves this show (and I presume the book as well), and I'm *the* neurodivergent. Neurodivergency wishes they were me.

So I'm thinking I should watch Good Omens.

I'm the local bird guy in my neighbourhood. I love taking care of my little dudes. We've never had a bird fly so hard into the window that they hurt themselves (that I know of), but we get window whacks pretty frequently, and it can be extremely alarming and scary. For anyone who has frequent winged visitors, this seems almost essential.

I just had a bird bump into my window for the first time since I moved here in 2018. It didn’t hit hard and it flew away fine.

Still, I don’t want to risk a real window strike, so I just ordered myself some Window Alert decals.

A lot of retailers and online stores carry them, and they very much do work. It’s worth it. I’ve had them in places I’ve lived before, and the last time I worked at a small office, we had them there as well.

@todaysbird​ - I know this isn’t about a bird in particular, but this may still be something you want to see.

Society's current feelings on veganism were totally planned. It was an entire smear campaign for the sake of the meat and dairy industry. I mean, my generation grew up on milk being shoved down our throats constantly. "Got Milk?" The history on that is pretty neat. There's a documentary. Anyway, meat and dairy (some of the largest industries in the world) will do literally anything to prevent progressive norms. We quite literally have all the technology, money, time, manpower, and resources to produce lab-grown meat that's (in every way that matters) the exact same in texture and taste. And we wouldn't need to kill a single thing ever again. We could do it right now. We could be Star Trek right now if we wanted. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

i've recently realized i've been using veganism as a litmus test for how willing someone is to engage a niche ideology in good faith.

how many mental gymnastics and whataboutisms someone uses to shit on vegans is such a good indicator for how bad faith someone is going to be about literally anything they don't completely agree with

i'm not even vegan, i just think people are so fucking abnormal about veganism

i hope every single workplace in america strikes and i mean it

how dare the weather get warmer even though i have autistic in my bio

Something about the fact Covid is being talked about like a common cold now is horrifying to me.

"Oh yeah I got covid again, gonna be resting for a week or so"

"Coworkers came in sick again, now I've got covid. Oh well, whatcha gonna do"

Its normal now. The new strains, the repeated catching, the fact its no longer a pandemic and is now a part of our daily lives.

A deadly disease that can and does permanently disable people who catch it is being treated like an inconvenient stomach bug.

And it was avoidable.

People are dying and being disabled in fucking droves and all anyone can say is "whelp, that's how it goes!" As if there wasn't/aren't vaccines, as if there wasn't/aren't methods that can help (masking, social distancing, etc), as if other places who took it more seriously didn't have better survival rates.

This outcome wasn't a guarantee. Selfish, ableist, racist, conspiracy loving ass-hats made sure it happened.

Looking at the numbers and then talking to people who didn't want to mildly inconvenience themselves to save lives is horrific.

Millions died.

Millions more will follow.

Thousands were disabled by it.

Thousands will follow.

And it. Was all. AVOIDABLE.

Somewhere along the line, we decided that a private indoor swimming pool was not a requirement for a standard house.

I think THAT is where we went wrong.

I'm an outwardly neutral person most of the time. But when I'm at my wit's end like autistic burnout, or I'm withdrawing off prescription meds (like I am now), I can feel the flood barrier in my eyes degrading. The mask comes off for a millisecond. And it's for the most random, stupid shit, too. Something just has to be joyful to make my eyes well. Literally, I just read:

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, If no one else can help and if you can find them. Maybe you can hire, The A-Team."

And my eyes welled up and I was momentarily faced with an overwhelming sadness combined with happy/sad tears trying to escape. My mind goes,

"The A-Team brought so much joy every Saturday morning to children and adults all over. It was all so beautiful then, and nobody can have it anymore. We'll never have that world back. Nothing will ever be the same again. It's just so nostalgic. I want everyone to be happy and watch The A-Team."

The point here is that I'm not known to cry by anyone I know. But even the seemingly emotionally strongest of us are just really good at hiding it and throwing it away. Could be from masking, could be from conditioning. Either way, the A-Team intro message momentarily brought tears to my eyes, and that was funny enough to me to post on Tumblr.

It's okay to experience moments or days or weeks of hypersensitivity, empathy on overdrive, or just random bursts or overwhelming emotions brought on by random things. That can just mean we've been holding it all in for too long. We're at max capacity.

Let yourself feel. I certainly don't. I shut it down immediately out of some sick instinct. Don't be like me. Have a full Häagen-Dazs cry fest about outdated action shows.

Autism is feeling mature compared to your peers as a child and then as an adult feeling extremely immature and childish compared to your peers

"You could d-" NO, no, that's not how it works. Don't tell me what I should do or ought to be doing. I'm not a child, I'm experiencing a wave of severe depression. What I *need* is some adequate therapy and a private swimming pool, and to be left alone.

I feel very bored again. I've once again fallen into thw deadly trap of having nothing to do and no idea what I could do. Just part of the experience when it comes to burnout and a lack of hyperfixations, I suppose.

sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs

Real.

Neurodivergency ≠ lack of moral comprehension. You will never be coddled for intentionally being a bad person.

Stop using autism as an excuse for shitty behaviors. Truly, fuck off.

I don't give a fuck about your autism. Pathetic shit of an excuse if I've ever seen one. If you're seriously ok with going around telling people to go kill themselves, you have a morality problem, not an autism problem.

You're still an asshole even if you're autistic. You're just an autistic asshole. And you don't get to make the rest of us look bad, because you somehow think it's cool to weaponize autism in order to be a steaming shit pile of a person.

Autistic people are perfectly capable of distinguishing right from wrong.

Go fuck yourself.