Gay Travel - Tumblr Posts

Brad couldn’t deal. Why would anyone need to when cocaine was EVERYWHERE? It didn’t even grow from the trees. It fell from the SKY!!! Brad took a selfie & sent it to Chris who took this photo. 4get the Hollywood Hills. Montreal was outrageous!!! Two travel straws and 30 minutes later, Brad and Chris’ vague understanding of the Inuit people kicked in.

Chris was pretty sure no one saw him wipe out on those damn algae covered rocks. They were slippery and that worm with the trashy friend on Sesame Street.

So gross.

Contrary to his boyfriend’s shallow assumptions, life was not a game for Chris. Obviously, he took his coconuts very seriously and failed to find humor in anything Brad said as to the situation.

Chris then raised the straw to his lips for a swig. “Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Straight up. This is some good coconut milk.”

Chris finished savoring the first sip. “Seriously Brad, you’ve got to try this. I’ve see your eyes grow on the coconuts bro!”

Brad froze not knowing how to respond.

Brad was bizzay. Couldn’t his boyfriend Chris’ appendix wait until tomorrow to burst? Every gay knew the golden rule: You can’t rush sexy. Besides, they were working. Chris needed to be gyrating as an erotic male dancer not clamping his jaw and slouching over.

“What was tomorrow anyway?”

Chris responded with ‘mañana’. He then went on to explain it could also be ‘the day after today, but not the day after that because that would be the day after tomorrow.’

In an effort to clarify things further, Chris stated what the two were speaking to was the day before that but not today, rather to the day in between despite the fact all that was being referenced originated from the day they were presently in, whatever day that turned out to be.

Brad and Chris were en route to Cedars Sinai not two minutes later. Surprisingly, they were only the second gay couple to arrive at the ER wearing only designer thongs and flip flops that hour. That’s until Brad and Chris realized it was Gay Pride weekend in SF, Chicago, Toronto, and NYC.

Then it all made sense.