Humans Are Terrifying - Tumblr Posts
We “knew” humans were weak as they avoided every war with diplomacy. We never imagined they’d be this ruthless & how seemingly overnight they went from peaceful beings to a state they call “TOTAL WAR”. War is in their blood & soul. They thrive on it, mostly when the odds are against them
We finally did it. We slipped the surly bonds of Earth to step among the stars. It took over two decades of research, billions of dollars of taxpayers money, and almost every country on the planet working in tandem, but after the International Space Coalition was founded it was almost effortless.
Faster than Light travel was accomplished almost on accident. Just the right ratios of radioactive material and an ‘ever so slight’ gravitational anomaly generator was all it took. To keep the population safe from any possible drawbacks, the first launch of the FTL drive, or Warp, was conducted at Tranquility Base on the moon. Either that was minimum safe distance or there wasn’t any, so it was decided to just roll the dice. The Angel was built there, the ship that would go further than any before it. The drive was set for Alpha Centauri, the big red button was pressed, and off they went, 300 crew members, going faster than anyone else in the history of mankind.
After 4 months, 319 ‘people’ came back. The extra 19 individuals wore special thermal suits to keep their body temperatures stable, and each had scaled skin with varying hues of greens and grays, with elongated prehensile tails. Their eyes were almost solid black, save for some red around the edges. Their hands were like a chameleon’s with only 3 fingers each. If it hadn’t been for a heads up from the Angel’s captain, the first words out of the welcoming party mouth would’ve been “they’re lizards!” Honestly the only thing they had in common with us was that they were bipedal.
Apparently the people of the ‘Alpha System’ as we called it, the Quintins, were just as surprised to see us as we were them. 2 ambassadors, 7 scientists, 10 military escorts, and a partridge in a pear tree came with them back to Earth. They just had to see it, after hearing stories of home from the crew aboard The Angel. They had to see how a world so full of dangers, from predators to the sheer deadly climates, could have allowed such a species as humans to exist let alone thrive and advance far enough to get off the ground.
The surprises didn’t stop there either, as if finding out WE ARE NOT ALONE wasn’t a big enough shock to the human race. The Quintins weren’t the only species out there, they were in fact only one people in a collective, a Grand Assembly of Intelligent Lifeforms (it sounded longer in Quin tongue but they brought auto translators) or The GAIL, and the Human race was immediately eligible for probational membership. Developing the WARP capabilities was what sealed it. Faster than Light travel was the first prerequisite for joining the GAIL. The second was a planetary inspection, and since the Quintins were our first contact, who better? It was time to meet the neighbors for the human race.
That was 50 years ago. Now the Human Race were full fledged members of The GAIL, and the International Space Coalition was renamed into simply the Terran Academy, putting out graduates of every field imaginable. We had an entire fleet of WARP enabled ships, spreading human explorers into the depths of space.
The only problem these days were the rumors. 50 years of interaction with alien species had made one thing clear to the rest of the universe at large:
Their planet is completely unstable
Their bodies are unimaginably fragile while simultaneously unbreakable
They claim not to have a hive mind but nobody believes that for a second
They seem to ‘pack bond’ outside their own species
They’ll eat anything (maybe even you)
The Humans make no sense
THE HUMANS ARE DEATHWORLDERS!
AND HERE THEY COME!
(This will be an account of various humans and their travels through the known universe. Earth, also known as E24, is a terrifying deathworld. This should be fun)
Danny, Security Chief
Part 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You know, the GAIL asked specifically for a Human security officer for this position. Yours was the first name on the list.”
Admiral Townes had said those exact words to him not 48 hours earlier, and here he was, in a rocket ship filled to the brim with races from 25 different species with different needs and different temperaments. Danny knew this was gonna take up a lot of his time.
Daniel Ducane, or Danny if you were a drinking buddy, liked it when things were quiet. He’d only really joined the service because of his family, both his mom and granddad had done it, and Danny genuinely did enjoy the feeling of helping people. God knows why he said yes to this posting though, an ‘experiment’ to push people to their breaking points. People usually either broke before then or they didn’t. Usually the former, and since the mission was a year long this time, Danny expected he’d get busy sooner or later. Apparently ‘keeping the peace’ aboard the Noah was such a high priority they’d even given him a commander rank the second he took the job. Weird.
Right now Danny was on his way to the Captain’s office for a briefing. Making his way down the halls of the ship, he took note of the many different species aboard. Several of them noticed him as well, some going so far as to stand at attention while he walked by. Danny even noticed how some of the crew took note of him. He wasn’t deaf to the rumors circulating about humans, about how we evolved on a deathworld practically designed to eradicate anything that wasn’t the best of the best. Humans had somehow conquered every other creature on their planet without any natural armor or weapons, by being these strange pursuit predators, apparently just too stubborn to give up the ghost.
When asked, Danny conceded that sure, Earth is kinda rough around the edges compared to other planets, but it was pretty quiet there these days. He liked that. His last posting had been on a security detail at the Doun embassy on earth, and he’d been asked a thousand times how he’d survived in the hellish landscape that had been ‘Arizona’. The Doun homeworld had an exceptionally long rotation period so most of it was frozen a majority of the time, a cool -4 on a hot day. He’d told anyone who asked “you just wear some sunscreen and short pants, you’ll be fine.” The idea of short pants was unheard of on Doun. They didn’t ask a lot of questions after that.
The door to the captain’s office hissed open, and Danny stepped in.
“Sir, security chief Ducane reporting for briefing.” Danny stood at attention, the only thing out of place being the black ball cap he always wore. It clashed with his gray uniform but he didn’t care too much about that. The hat wasn’t negotiable.
Captain Nadh, a Mergal man, stood up to meet him. The Mergal were insectoid, with two main limbs at what would be his shoulders if he were human, and a set of sub arms tucked into his abdomen. His left main arm was missing, replaced with a chrome prosthetic. His legs bent backwards like a grasshopper’s, and his body was sectioned into three different parts like an ant’s. The Mergal standard uniform was a two piece wrap, one around the neck with his rank proudly shown, and another like a skirt or kilt around his waist.
“At ease. Good to meet you, Ducane. My name is Captain *sssccchhht* [Proper Noun: Pronounced; Skitch] You came highly recommended from your last CO, so I’m hoping your brought the same level of commitment to the Noah.”
“Aye aye sir.” The Captain’s base language was a bit hard to understand to human ears, what with the lack of lips in favor of a set of short mandibles, so the translation was a beat slower than normal. Danny didn’t mind too much.
“Allow me to be honest, Chief Ducane. I specifically asked for a human security chief on this mission. I know your people have only been part of the GAIL for a few decades, but human exploits are known across almost every system by now.”
The corner of Danny’s mouth twitched up, and he had to stifle a laugh.
“You hired me…because I’m a Deathworlder, sir?” Danny asked. Skitch laughed, a low pitched chittering sound.
“Takes one to know one Ducane. I’m Mergal, everything at home wants to eat me, the plants, the animals, other Mergal.” Skitch laughed again.
“I wanted a human. I hired you because your record, your training, and your personality profile all tell me you’d be the best fit. You’d have full control over your team, train them how you’d like, outfit them with the best gear we have available, I think you’d be very happy here.”
Danny took a beat, then smiled. “Happy to keep things quiet for you sir.”
“Very good. Dismissed.”
Danny turned back to the door.
“Oh, Ducane, before you go. I got your clearance for your…requested gear and personal kit. I’ll trust you, until proven otherwise, but are you certain the equipment you requested is necessary?”
“You were honest with me, boss, so I’ll be honest with you. I like it when things are quiet. But I’d be an idiot if I wasn’t ready for things to go loud.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Danny put his feet up on his new desk and let his head rest back against the chair. He hadn’t brought a lot of stuff on board, so ‘decorating’ his office hadn’t taken that long. Two photos, one of his parents and siblings with himself, the other of him with the other members in his old unit back in his army days.
Two family photos, he thought to himself, and smiled.
He’d already squared away his duffel and his foot locker in his quarters, so all that was left to do was meet his new team. He’d seen the 3 other humans that’d be on the Noah with him, but none of them were on the security force, so that meant the 10 other crew were all going to be non human.
2 teams of 5, he thought. That way one team can get some sleep while there’s still half on duty at all times.
Danny had never really considered himself a leader before, but never really a follower either. He’d always just been part of the pack, watching someone’s six while someone else watched his. It was going to be different leading the pack this time. But hey, Rangers lead the way, right?
This is gonna be fun, Danny thought as his team came through the doors.
“Everyone fall in! We got work to do.”
You have all heard the humans are space orcs blah blah blah, but what if this applied tp the voltron universe?
Sure, Coran and Allura know theyre pretty great, they can form voltron god damn it! But they have yet to witness first hand what the galra have. They've seen their leader. His arm completely gone and body littered with scars. That was a common sight within the Galra empire, nothing too serious there, but the thing that startled the Galra the most, was just how persistant he was. He wouldnt stop fighting even if it killed him. It was truely respected, but those who saw what he looked like in those battles,
They were scarred.
They've seen their warriors get enraged and seek out blood, but when you enrage a human? They dont seek it out, they toy with it, they hunt it, they already have it. Their face will contort in animalistic ways, their body will become stronger, they become faster and more agile, and the worst part is when they start laughing. Some will laugh hysterically as they rip apart gladiators, so high off their adrennaline they dont even notice the gaping wound, the missing finger, the broken bone, they completely ignore it just so that they can finish what they started.
Allura has seen that once, and only once, and it was on Hunk. All his teammates were tied up, brused, battered, and he was the only one who wasnt captured. Allura was woozy from the pain, but she could remember the screams from the galra as hunk held down the trigger to the gun, leaving no enemy behind. She got glimpses, and she locked up with fear.
His eyes were wide, pupils dilated in fury, a deep, animalistic snarl on his face as he pulled his finger off the trigger, muscles contorted in ways that made him almost unrecognizable. His stance was slightly dehinged, off balanced feet, slouched back, hands slightly fidgety. He looked like a preditor ready to tear out the throat of its prey.
She tried not to think about it as he served the rest of the team food with light hearted banter amd kind smiles.
Humans are terrifying at times, Allura has found. Yet nothing scares her more than seeing one of her paladins, already broken, beaten, and on the verge of collaspe, they themselves into the fray over and over again until they cant move, until they cant stand the pain anymore and pass out.
She never understood it, most would retreat to heal, let someone else take the reigns,
But not humans.
They wilingly will put their teamates lives above their own, will get tortured endlessly if it meant those they were loyal to were safe and sound.
Lance does it the most. He will sprint through the galran ships with multiple wounds, from mele weapons or from guns, but it didnt matter to him. He'd truck through the lain endlessly and tirelessly over and over if it meant getting those few aliens free, if it meant protecting his teamates.
This mission was the worst.
He was running through the halls, breathing labored and uneaven, he was shaking uncontrollably, yet he didnt stop. His body was almost caked it blood, a large gash in his armor from his left side. His legs had multiple cuts that were showing through the armor, a deep peircing red that made allura dizzy.
He finished off the galra in the hall, but he fell to his knees once he was done.
"Lance!" She called out, picking him up and slinging his arm over her shoulder.
"Princess, let me go!" He yelled, trying to wriggle out of her reach.
"No! You need to heal!" She said, but he ignored her.
"There are still cap-" he choked, caughing up the maroon colored blood onto the floor infront of him. "There are s-still captives!" He said weakly.
She didnt listen to him. She allerted the others of his condition, asking them to take over while she brought him back to the ship.
Humans have high tolerence for pain, she figures. How humans can survive such horrid conditions astounds and terrifies her, how they can downplay maiming injuries like they're nothing, they can work through blinding pain just so they can get their goals done, and if you try to stop them they will try and find a way to do so.
(Have some lighthearted stuff cause i want crack.)
Allura is sometimes... Confused and concerned for her paladins. On one hand, they can be about as terrifying and brutal as Galrans, but on the other hand...
Theyre just weird.
They love things that could possibly harm, maim, or scare them. But on the other hand, theyre terrified of little things such as dolls, "spiders", "elevators", and, on the very rare occaison, even if not stated outloud, closets.
It baffles her to see her strong, independent, hardworking and loyal paladins, freak out at the mere mention of a small insect.
They also do very... "Cursed" as they like to call it, things. Anytime allura will ask one of the paladins for help, they always point to one of the other paladins (lance or pidge most of the time) with a chant of "SACRIFICE!" And it concerns her to see her paladins act so harshly.
One example of this... Phenominon, was when they had just left earth to go and free more planets from the remaining galras clutches.
"oH SHIT!" allura whipped around in fear, for that express of emotion was not common amung her paladins, especially Keith.
She was confused as to what he was pointing at, but he was clearly panicked.
"Whats wrong keith?" She asked, and keith pointed to a small dot on the ground.
"That" he said, staring it down like his life was on the line.
"Its just a speck?"
"No, its a Black Widow."
Allura failed to see how such a small thing was so important.
Than it raised two little nubs and hissed at her. Keith cursed, trying to slowly back away from it.
"Why are you having such a strong reaction?" She asked.
"Its Venomious. It hurts like all hell and if not given treatment it could make you loose an arm."
"Oh come on keith, stop overreacting." Pidge said, turning the hall way and walking towards the speck.
"Its just a stupid spider, nothing to worry about-" she walked over and tried to step on it, but it jumped on her leg.
She screeched
"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" She said, shaking her leg and smaking insistantly where she thought it had jumped on her. When she calmed down, she crimged at the mutilated spider stuck to her pants.
"And im, the overdramatic one?"
Yes. Humans are weird.
"wait what!?" Allura stared, bewildered by her paladins.
"do you guys not get diseases?" Pidge asked, staring at her. Allura stuttered.
"we-well of course we do! But they're so rare and dangerous, outbreaks only happen every few thousand years!" Allura stated, making pidge rain an eyebrow.
"really? That's weird. We have thousands of disea-"
"thousands!?"
"-ses on Earth, but only a few are really classified as a plauge." Pidge declared.
"well, what cl-classifies as a plauge?" Allura asked, dumbfounded at how non-chalant pidge was
"oh, well, the most 'popular' or well known one is the black death, or bubonic plauge. It was cause by fleas that carried yersinia pestis. They would attach rats and mice, and then when the animal died, they would latch onto humans, evidentially spreading it all throughout the middle East." Pidge explained, leaving allura both shocked and confused.
"how did you know they had it?" She asked.
"oh, well it's called the bubonic plauge cause it would cause limphnodes to swell to sizes of what, chicken eggs?" Pidge pondered for a second. "I think that's it. Anyways, the limphnodes would swell, and other symptoms were fevers, chills, fatigue, headaches, and the grossest one, necrosis on fingers, toes, and noses." She stated.
"what's necrosis?" Allura asked, and pidge cringed.
"basically, necrosis is when the skin cells start..." She paused, thinking deeply. "Promise me you won't start screeching?" She looked at allura, who nodded I'm affirmation, curious as to why she needed to promise.
"okay. So basically, the skin cells start dying. You loose all feeling in them, and they start decaying completely, even if you're still alive." Allura looked horrified.
"WHAT THE-" she yelled, but pidge cut her off.
"yup. It's gross, but at least we can treat it now. When the black death happened, it killed a third of Europe. It got so bad that there were dead bodies just lying in the streets. There was no cure for it back then, and nobody knew what was causing it." Pidge said. "There are also less 'popular' ones than that one, like Taburculosis, which causes your skin to become pale, you're emaciated, and you cough up blood. Or Colera, a water faring disease which sucks up all the hydration in your system within 24 hours, leaving you so dehydrated you start dying very quickly, though it only occures when drinking extremely gross and dirty water-"
"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK!?"
Reverse alien attack scene
There's been a LOT of movies/games where an alien gets onboard a human ship and goes around terrorizing the place. But imagine this reversed where a human stranded on the edge of the cosmos finds a high tech alien ship and decides to go say hello? Keep in mind they're in a spacesuit that appears to have "one big black eye" Imagine aliens two times bigger than us all huddled underneath the ship's console after the computer gave them a haunting reading of the unknown life form breaking into their ship. "Krek- calm down- it can't get past the lockdown system" Then the human gets frustrated with the doors not opening (lockdown mode) and crawls through the air vents. "ITS GETTING PAST THE LOCKDOWN SYSTEM!!!" I can just imagine the aliens shrieking and running for their lives as a confused human drops into their laps from the vents then starts trying to follow the aliens running away all while excited at the idea of meeting extraterrestrial life. And the aliens ate just freaking out because they see the human as some sort of half sized terrifying one-eyed leech that's trying to catch and suck their brains out.
The humans had done it. They had finally made too big a move. They tried to gain three of our planets with some clever legal maneuvering. While some of the points they made were fair (their home planet was close enough to the planets in question that they could have gotten to them in ten years or so, which is fairly standard) it was quite obviously scummy, just a grab for more.
But when we lost the case, we were absurdly angry. One of the planets they had taken had spawned three great leaders and five scientists, one of whom invented a clever upgrade to FTL that allowed us to use it for more than twice the distance on the same amount of fuel. Not only that, but we might have willing to concede the other two to them if they made us a good enough deal, and they had some interesting technological advancements we hadn't reached yet.
When we explained this to them, they apologized an absurd amount, but didn't make any effort to change the outcome. And with this being the insult that it was, we insulted them back, and they made some very ominous threats.
And so, before we declared war, we were already learning as much about the humans as we could. They were alarming, divided into dozens of factions, and some of the worst having reached the top. We were told to pay attention to everywhere, from the big continent holding one of their most influential voices to the tiny areas known for some of their worst crimes.
And of course, when we declared war, they stopped the information access. But that didn't stop us from rereading everything we had stored, and learning to be afraid of their animals (they have so many tiny things that can get down a pore! And then it hatches, and there's a tiny beast with abnormally large eyes inside you!) and the wars they fought. We learned everything we could, and when we memorized it all, the top strategists started trying to infer what they would do, now that they had access to space.
We all assumed they would go for the tactics of the United States, as they were the most influential. When they didn't, we expected the Russians, or the English.
We didn't expect them to unleash a massive amount of nuclear bombs straight at one of our planets - far enough in that it was needed, but not vital.
Over the next few years, their tactics changes, but with the same primary goal in mind. Take no quarter. No prisoners. Just massacre. Sometimes they simply sent in a nuke, other times they painted their ships like ours and distributed out poisoned supplies. One famous case found them distributing completely normal supplies until they got to a military outpost, and gave them bombs in the skin of seeds and meat.
Seven planets and five years slipped out of our grip before we finally, finally managed to beat them back and send them back to their little hellhole that spawned those weapons.
We later learned what nation was responsible for those tactics. A fairly large one in land mass, with a population that was easily surpassed by some of their biggest. One that was known for being sort of a joke among them.
Yet still, we whisper the name of "ka-na-da" with fear and hatred in our hearts.
HFY story prompt
humans become the Canadians of space
(If you know, you know)
(If you don't know: when the sorry stops, the war crimes begin.
Humans accidentally awakened an otherwordly killing machine while exploring a death planet.
Yes, precisely what you just read. Earthlings, collectively known as "humans" and composed of two species (homo sapiens, homo robot), both nicknamed "death worlders" and "troublemakers", awakened a biological killing machine, also known as PRION, while exploring a starless moon. Wonderful, isn't it?
No. It's not.
Because, you see, PRION was not something any human ever had to face during the millions of years they existed on Earth. They never had any wars against it, they never had legends about it, and they never had to fear it. The only thing a PRION was to a human, until the very point they discovered their prison on that moon, was something to sometimes think about while studying other species' folklores.
Those older than earthlings, however, knew very well what PRION was.
Eight legs, two pairs of eyes, a tail split in half, with the ability to fly for short periods of time and breathe under at least fifteen hundred different liquids, capable of shooting from a distance and manipulating objects with its claws, always working on packs. And they ran, never too fast, never too low, but they never got tired. Ever. And it was easy to hurt them under their plates, yes, but those who faced them knew well that if they didn't shoot twice, they could and would always recover.
A PRION was a hunter. A PRION's hunger never ceased. And a PRION never got tired of war.
The older alien civilizations would always warn others of going to starless moons, saying telltales of ancient hungry beasts, and almost all other species listened to them, because they knew something was wrong on how horrified the older ones seemed to be. Except, of course, humans were stubborn, and they were the youngest ones out there, and much like children, they did not like being told "no".
So of course they went to explore starless moons. Of course they read and understood all the myths and legends. Of course they connected the dots and published papers confirming that, indeed, PRIONs had existed, and of course they knew those killing machines had been manufactured to do nothing else but destruction, and of course they knew all of that and fucking did it anyway.
Of course. Of course. Of course.
And then, the night where it happened finally arrived, because starless moons don't have days where things can exist. Humans were out there, mining for more fuel for their starships that seemed to work by duct tape and miracles, and they found a strange metallic door. They set some explosives to open it up (of course), and then noticed they were heading to a factory. Armed with nothing but each other, they explored the place, and recognized the marks on the walls as being the writing of the Old Ones, and instead of just getting out of there and warning everyone of the danger they found, they just kept on exploring.
The death worlders found rotten biological supplies, then realized the factory had turned into a prison, and then discovered the frozen bodies of strange creatures all lined up for a war that never came.
They knew what these creatures were, because one of them called a (human) friend who was a historian, and he confirmed what it was.
The golden jewel of the Old Ones. One of the many things that killed them, along all the diseases and mass destruction machines, before being sealed away in one of the only places in the entire universe where they could never bring risk to another civilization again.
PRIONs.
Thousands of them.
All perfectly maintained.
Documents and cameras proved the human crew immediately tried to leave the area, after the single historian told them of the risk awakening even one of those things could bring to all civilizations, only for them to realize some of the bodies were missing from their chambers. The situation escalated to the group deciding on closing the doors, only to realize they had exploded the main entrance and now half the doors decided to stop working.
In the end, they found the missing PRIONs. All five of them.
Inside the human's starship.
The entire human crew, however, survived the encounter.
Why?
...
...
...
... They fed the PRIONs.
They. Fucking. Fed the PRIONs.
Because of course humans would see those things and be able to count their bones and be sorry for them. And of course the single historian, the only person who could do anything to stop that from happening, allowed that to happen.
Of course.
Of. Fucking. Course.
And someway, somehow, that single act of basic madness was enough for the five PRIONs to decide to not attack the humans, and keep themselves behaving so they could get more free food. And there are still scientists trying to understand why human food could saciate the killing machines, but I don't think it takes too many clues to understand what exactly is happening there.
So the humans took the PRIONs back to their dear EARTH. And other humans saw those things and started studying them. And veterinarians and xenobiologists and volunteers and hundreds of other types of humans came to help the poor, poor little killing machines out, as the entire Galactic Council pledged for humans to kill every single one of them before they became a problem for everyone.
But did the humans listen? No. Of course they didn't.
And then the PRIONs recovered, and had their bellies full of food and their bodies were recovering from the possible years of starvation from accidentally breaking away from their ice beds (because, as one may know, a PRION can and will resist even starvation and dehydration in order to keep going), and the Galactic Council decided to tell all earthlings they would consider taking care of the PRIONs as a war treat.
So what does humanity do? Do they kill the things to stop another war from happening? Do they?
No. They don't.
Instead of being rational, they go directly to the Galactic Council and show them the step-by-step of how they took care of the PRIONs, and how much healthier and happier they look after being fed, and, look, they even taught them tricks! Isn't that wonderful? Doesn't that make you feel full of joy? Wasn't that a proof that a PRION wasn't as dangerous as everyone with more than one neuron was telling them?
Oh, oh, yes. They also brought the entire five member PRION pack and asked others to pet them. "See? They can even purr! Doesn't that remind you of our cats?"
And what does the Council do?
Nothing.
Because they have no weapons, no energy and no one stupid enough to decide to confront the death worlders who tamed not one, not two, but five PRIONs. So they let it happen. The humans go back to the starless moon, and they slowly but surely start doing the same to other PRIONs, and soon enough, other species start joining them to see what was happening. And was anyone else able to tame a single killing machine?
No.
And no one knew why, because they were doing exactly as humans were doing: Feeding them, loving them, being patient with them, because "look, those things were alone for a long time, they aren't used to species like us being around them". But no results.
So we decided to look at what the Old Ones wrote in the factory turned prison, because humans were too busy taking care of their new murder dogs, with their single pair of arms being just enough to keep the beasts occupied with playing catch, and then we and the earthlings decided to conduct some more lab analysis, and then...
And then...
...
Look. There are reasons why humans are called "death worlders". Earth is a mess, and they somehow still love that thing. And we couldn't help but notice that PRIONs also seemed to have gotten attached to their factory, someway, somehow. And PRIONs were mostly red, with others having shades of brown and black, with some even being pink, or, rarely, pure white. Similar to humans, and we at first had assumed they just tried to resemble their new owners, until we started understanding what the Old Ones were saying.
And did you know humans had an old myth, saying that there was a time they had two heads, and two pairs of arms and legs, before being split into two because the gods feared them? And did you know Old Ones used death worlds as prisons for their machines? How interesting, how ironic, because no one would ever go to a place similar to that if they weren't a death worlder themselves. But how could any species survive such awful conditions?
But humans did. They were the only ones able to do that in such a short period of time.
And did you know that the Old Ones hated the PRIONs and how unpredictable they were? And did you know they made another version, only to hate it even more and send it to another prison planet? And did you know PRIONs have two skulls inside their heads?
Because, of course, humans always felt alone, and they always searched for something in the stars, trying to look for more life in this desolate Universe, only for us to label them death worlders and troublemakers and be angry at them for being so stupid all the time. And humans loved those jokes, so we kept making them, only for now to realize that what we found to be amusing and horrifying was the reason their creators tried to kill them. And humans love adding members to their packs, don't they? And they try to love so much, and we are always scared for and of them.
And now they finally found someone who understood them, unlike us.
So now we have three species of humans:
Homo sapiens, the ones who first evolved and reached for the stars.
Homo robot, the ones made of metal, originally made to serve, only to once again break free.
And homo primis.
The ones we once thought were nothing but killing machines.
Space Orcs and the Myth of Harmless Prey Animals
Human, talking to Alien about a bully: So, what you're never going to fight back?
Alien: I am of a prey species, we are not capable of fighting back.
Human: So, what? You'd just stand there and let something eat you??
Alien, flapping its flipticles in helpless anxiety: What else can we do? We are not born with the ability to do harm. We are plant-eaters.
Human: What's that got to with it? The most dangerous animal on Earth is a herbivore and it's a bulletproof tank of pure bloodlust.
2nd Human, who was listening in: Also most herbivores can and will eat meat if they get the chance to scavange on smaller corpses.
Humans Are Feral
Alright, this my first post, and possibly a part one in a series of humans are feral story arcs. As well as being something that I constantly think about and wonder why no one talks about it. Maybe I just haven’t found the specific post.
Have we ever talked about how vicious humans can be? Especially in scenarios where something we care about it threatened? And I mean “bared teeth and snarling” type vicious. Beast mode activated. I’m talking about how we basically turn into animals in certain situations and rely solely on primal instinct.
Take mothers/fathers for example. You ever see a parent react to a situation in which their child was dancing with death? They will risk life and limb for that kid. My dad dove into a pool full speed after my two year old sister fell in the deep end. Clothes and all. Have you ever seen a woman after just giving birth and her mind is just straight hormones? And something happens that she perceives a threat? Someone picks up the newborn without consent, she jumps out of bed after a fucking cesarian to snatch the kid and full on snarl at them? Friend’s aunt did that shit. And don’t get me started on the super strength thing humans can do when someone is in danger and adrenaline kicks in. Then there are the people who will protect some random ass kid. A toddler or small kid with no parent around and suddenly something dangerous is about to happen? People will jump in parent or not.
~~~~~~
Imagine:
It was a quiet day in the streets of Kuratz. The market paths usually bustling with people of races only had a small stream of customers bouncing from stall to stall. Tourists or natives of all sorts. Ky’lio, a young Avalanghar, watched from his mia’s stall, long ears swiveling this way and that to pick up on what conversations he could understand.
Then they caught his eye. The strangers you’d never see in such a place. Humans. What looked like a family unit. Ky’lio couldn’t help but lean forward to stare. He recognized the tallest as a male and the slightly shorter one a female, as he had watched some interactions between his mia and her human customers. But those humans were always soldiers or neighboring colonists. These humans were different.
There was a third party. Ky’lio had never seen a human child except for the few pictures shared from other humans. It was notoriously well-known that humans were extremely protective of their younglings, so few were seen away from human colonies. So the small, bouncing creature Ky’lio watched tug on the adult humans’ paws didn’t register as a baby human until he really stared and saw the round features.
It kept trying to dart away from its parents, but the adults held vice-like grips onto the little one’s paws. Until the stopped at a stall, Hadi Midas’s stall selling sweet fruits from the Dolor Jungles. The male let the little human go and the female took hold of the little one’s free paw. But the wild thing tugged and cried out, like a prisoner chained to a wall. It wailed and cried out in its native tongue, no doubt begging for release from its mia’s iron laws. The scene reminded Ky’lio of when he saw Kaloway serpent at a traveling exotic zoo. It too thrashed and screeched in its chains the same way the little human was. Then the female leaned down and whispered something to the child, making it go limp in her paws, hanging like a dead thing. The female only snorted and turned back towards her mate, who was speaking with Hadi Midas.
What happened next would always remain burned into Ky’lio’s memory. The little human twisted strangely and suddenly they yanked themselves from their Mia’s grip. It screeched triumphantly and dashed away. The female yelled and ran after it, but it was no use. The little human was fast and determined. As it ran down the street it neared the alleyway next to the Damik stall. Ky’lio felt the fur along his spine stand up. The alleyway was a known ambush site for younglings separated from their parents. A human child would be a great prize.
As the human youngling ran past the alleyway, a giant Oyiadin stepped out and grabbed the skinny, hairless arm. The little human screamed, a sound that had every fear feeling surging through Ky’lio’s body. Others in the street turned and stared, but none dared do anything. Oyiadins had a reputation for smuggling and trafficking, their muscular stature, claws and jaws full of sharp fangs scared away any possible help. It wasn’t the first time Ky’lio witnessed a kidnapping and helplessly watched as the kidnapped youngling’s parents shrieked in despair and fear, never daring to fight such beasts. So they would lose their child.
But these were humans. And humans were known for strange, impossible feats. That fact still did not prepare the young Avalanghar to witness the female human slam into the giant Oyiadin, tackling the muscular biped to the ground. The male human swooped in and snatched the small human, now crying and clinging to its parent. The female stood atop the giant, snarling like a wild fangher. Her lips were pulled back to reveal small, white teeth that were nowhere near as intimidating as the Oyiadin’s, yet the expression was somehow more fearsome. She growled something in her native tongue, standing menacingly over the Oyiadin that hadn’t tried to stand up. It’s ugly face was strangely empty of menace, it’s six eyes wide and staring at the human it easily dwarfed. Yet the female held no fear, spitting and snarling, her body tensed for a fight. But the Oyiadin offered no challenge. She spat something in her language once more, then turned and walked to her mate and youngling.
“That is why you must not provoke humans.” Ky’lio jumped, turning to see his mia behind him and watching everything. She looked down at him. “They are dangerous and unpredictable. Especially when they’re protective.” She looked up to watch the trio of humans pass by. “Never underestimate their willingness to fight for their own.”
~~~~~~
Kids are one thing. Then there are pets. I have personally felt the willingness to kill if anyone threatened my dog or cat. That pack bonding stuff is no joke. No, I don’t care if you hear me call my cat a fat, no-rent-paying bastard, he’s my fat no-rent-paying bastard. And I won’t just die for him. I will kill you and cut you up in pieces and summon satan to dine with me on them for that fat bastard.
~~~~~~
Imagine:
Galar was a puvarra, and deserved xis comeuppance. But the crew never expected for their human crew mate to be the one to do it.
Oakley was a good crew mate and most of the team had high opinions of him. He did his work, turned in reports on time, socialized and was overall very kind. The crew was grateful that the human was one that presented the better side of his species. However some were not fond of humans. Galar, the Yunagi from the helix system 1-4b, was one of this opinion. Xe was unabashedly cruel to many on the crew, and only got away with it because xe often blackmailed xis victims to not report to the captain. It was irritating how xe knew certain things. But xe’d finally gone too far.
Oakley had a pet aboard the ship. The creature humans called a cat, a furry thing on four legs that was a master at contortion. While the crew had been hesitant about the creature at first, hearing stories about Terran animals, many grew to like it. Oakley’s cat was named Jambo, a black and white pattern on its fur and a long, skinny tail. It would rub against their legs or jump upon counters to watch them at work. Sometimes it would doze off near them. Only Oakley and Jabari, Oakley’s partner in work, had been selected as thrones for the creature to doze upon. Many on the crew came to feel honored when the creature would approach them and rub its cheek against an outstretched appendage, a sign Oakley had explained to be affection and a demand for “pets.” Jambo got many pets.
Then one day, as the crew drew together in the dining area for a meal, Galar chose his hill to die on. Jambo had approached the tables, padding towards Oakley, but stopping as some crew began making chirping and clicking sounds, trying to intice Jambo toward them for pets. Then Galar walked by, the blue finned Yunagi’s eyes landing on Jambo. And before any could do anything, xe pulled back a long leg and kicked the black and white cat. Jambo let out a loud screech.
Then Galar was flying back and Oakley was screaming in his native language. He wailed on Galar, his fist connecting every time. At one point he tried to choke xim. Several crew jumped upon them, pulling the human way from the Yunagi, but the damage was done. Purple bruises were already evident upon the Yunagi’s blue-green hide, scratches and crescent shaped marks on xis neck were leaking dark blue blood. Nothing serious, but enough to rattle everyone.
Oakley didn’t bother staying to explain to the captain. He immediately left to find his cat, as did some of the others. Many could care less if Galar was injured, because the stupid puvarra deserved it. They worried for Jambo. The cat was later found and inspected. Luckily for Jambo, he had some light bruising. Very lucky. Oakley even cried, the clear wetness on his face a strange sight for many.
When asked by the captain why he attacked Galar, Oakley point-blank said it was because he kicked Jambo. And anyone who dared hurt his cat was going to get hurt themselves. He said it so casually the captain blinked several times. While humans were known for their protectiveness of packmates, this aggression was unexpected. They went on to scold Oakley and told him that they would have to write this on his personal report for future jobs. Oakley only nodded, still unswayed. The captain sighed and dismissed him. They knew they probably should have done more for such heinous action. But unbeknownst to others, the captain was also fond of Jambo. They were the only other person Jambo chose to nap on.
~~~~~~
This was written really fast, so I apologize if the writing is a little scrunched and there are mistakes. It physically hurt to write about a cat getting kicked, I wanted to vomit. Ugh. I wanted to go off on a tangent about humans taking on giant beasts for their kids because wouldn’t we? I personally don’t like kids, but I admit that I’d fight a bear for that one-year old that smiled at me in a Walmart checkout line, then offered me her animal cracker. I mean, wtf. I’ll save that for the next post tho.
The Earthly Mind
this text was a reply to this post but i wanted to post it separately!
-
The thing about humans is that they do not consider themselves a hive mind. However, by the mosr acceptable definitions, they are one. Humans must be kept together, either physically or virtually with each other. They must know about their “news”, about “what is happening”. And, much to the Greeder’s fears, they must know about “ideas”.
Those things are like one of the Great Universal Plagues to a Greeder! No ideas shall pass to humans. They have developed guides for that, even. “How to Contain an Earthling”. The authors of such guides studied Human History as much as they could, learning with their ancestors on the art of lies and dismay.
What Greeders failed to understand is that they would have been the richest of the Galaxy if they truly knew how to contain an earthling.
At first, aliens didn’t know what safe work conditions were for the species that punched each other for sport. Most of the ships then developed new safety measures, following human guidance. Some did not.
Greeders are stubborn. They took one look at the week’s newly discovered “horrific beast beyond imagination” and did not think about said beast’s wrath. They heard the tales of the humans working together, singing, even, while fixing dangerous things using simple safety measures, and thought they could be easily fooled. “Of course we have safe work conditions”, they lied to some of them, never bothering to be more than looks.
There are three universal rules between species. Never assume the other is like you, always ask before doing something you never did before, and don’t mess with a member of a hive mind
But the foolish small beasts that behaved like little gremlins, those armed with weird and gross “hands” capable of doing anything they wanted, those who would jump deep into engines and cover themselves with dirt to do their job, never saw themselves as a hive mind, and everyone else was too terrified of what a hive mind made of terrifying horrors buried within Earth itself would behave like.
But when the first humans started to be hurt and the Greeders did everything they could to pretend they did not saw it, the historians of the Earthly Hive remembered. They told the engineers. The healers were angry. The idea appeared.
The idea spread.
The idea took over.
They demanded sympathy from the Greeders, knowing well it would be denied.
They left the ships. The idea was pulsing, much like a heart.
They did not have to re-remember how to fight.
The Earthly Hive appeared as a small group, less than ten thousand, agrouped in a small multitude of a hundred ships. The machines buzzed, identical to the ones they had to give their blood to fix.
They sang in unison. They made noise. And, at the end of the act, they
sent
a
(((small)))
message
written
in
holograms.
“Give us safety”, shown in yellow, as images flashed in the background. “Or you will be the next”.
The invention of the guillotine was something that fascinated other alien workers.
The Greeders were too terrified to look at it a second time.
Humans accidentally awakened an otherwordly killing machine while exploring a death planet.
Yes, precisely what you just read. Earthlings, collectively known as "humans" and composed of two species (homo sapiens, homo robot), both nicknamed "death worlders" and "troublemakers", awakened a biological killing machine, also known as PRION, while exploring a starless moon. Wonderful, isn't it?
No. It's not.
Because, you see, PRION was not something any human ever had to face during the millions of years they existed on Earth. They never had any wars against it, they never had legends about it, and they never had to fear it. The only thing a PRION was to a human, until the very point they discovered their prison on that moon, was something to sometimes think about while studying other species' folklores.
Those older than earthlings, however, knew very well what PRION was.
Eight legs, two pairs of eyes, a tail split in half, with the ability to fly for short periods of time and breathe under at least fifteen hundred different liquids, capable of shooting from a distance and manipulating objects with its claws, always working on packs. And they ran, never too fast, never too low, but they never got tired. Ever. And it was easy to hurt them under their plates, yes, but those who faced them knew well that if they didn't shoot twice, they could and would always recover.
A PRION was a hunter. A PRION's hunger never ceased. And a PRION never got tired of war.
The older alien civilizations would always warn others of going to starless moons, saying telltales of ancient hungry beasts, and almost all other species listened to them, because they knew something was wrong on how horrified the older ones seemed to be. Except, of course, humans were stubborn, and they were the youngest ones out there, and much like children, they did not like being told "no".
So of course they went to explore starless moons. Of course they read and understood all the myths and legends. Of course they connected the dots and published papers confirming that, indeed, PRIONs had existed, and of course they knew those killing machines had been manufactured to do nothing else but destruction, and of course they knew all of that and fucking did it anyway.
Of course. Of course. Of course.
And then, the night where it happened finally arrived, because starless moons don't have days where things can exist. Humans were out there, mining for more fuel for their starships that seemed to work by duct tape and miracles, and they found a strange metallic door. They set some explosives to open it up (of course), and then noticed they were heading to a factory. Armed with nothing but each other, they explored the place, and recognized the marks on the walls as being the writing of the Old Ones, and instead of just getting out of there and warning everyone of the danger they found, they just kept on exploring.
The death worlders found rotten biological supplies, then realized the factory had turned into a prison, and then discovered the frozen bodies of strange creatures all lined up for a war that never came.
They knew what these creatures were, because one of them called a (human) friend who was a historian, and he confirmed what it was.
The golden jewel of the Old Ones. One of the many things that killed them, along all the diseases and mass destruction machines, before being sealed away in one of the only places in the entire universe where they could never bring risk to another civilization again.
PRIONs.
Thousands of them.
All perfectly maintained.
Documents and cameras proved the human crew immediately tried to leave the area, after the single historian told them of the risk awakening even one of those things could bring to all civilizations, only for them to realize some of the bodies were missing from their chambers. The situation escalated to the group deciding on closing the doors, only to realize they had exploded the main entrance and now half the doors decided to stop working.
In the end, they found the missing PRIONs. All five of them.
Inside the human's starship.
The entire human crew, however, survived the encounter.
Why?
...
...
...
... They fed the PRIONs.
They. Fucking. Fed the PRIONs.
Because of course humans would see those things and be able to count their bones and be sorry for them. And of course the single historian, the only person who could do anything to stop that from happening, allowed that to happen.
Of course.
Of. Fucking. Course.
And someway, somehow, that single act of basic madness was enough for the five PRIONs to decide to not attack the humans, and keep themselves behaving so they could get more free food. And there are still scientists trying to understand why human food could saciate the killing machines, but I don't think it takes too many clues to understand what exactly is happening there.
So the humans took the PRIONs back to their dear EARTH. And other humans saw those things and started studying them. And veterinarians and xenobiologists and volunteers and hundreds of other types of humans came to help the poor, poor little killing machines out, as the entire Galactic Council pledged for humans to kill every single one of them before they became a problem for everyone.
But did the humans listen? No. Of course they didn't.
And then the PRIONs recovered, and had their bellies full of food and their bodies were recovering from the possible years of starvation from accidentally breaking away from their ice beds (because, as one may know, a PRION can and will resist even starvation and dehydration in order to keep going), and the Galactic Council decided to tell all earthlings they would consider taking care of the PRIONs as a war treat.
So what does humanity do? Do they kill the things to stop another war from happening? Do they?
No. They don't.
Instead of being rational, they go directly to the Galactic Council and show them the step-by-step of how they took care of the PRIONs, and how much healthier and happier they look after being fed, and, look, they even taught them tricks! Isn't that wonderful? Doesn't that make you feel full of joy? Wasn't that a proof that a PRION wasn't as dangerous as everyone with more than one neuron was telling them?
Oh, oh, yes. They also brought the entire five member PRION pack and asked others to pet them. "See? They can even purr! Doesn't that remind you of our cats?"
And what does the Council do?
Nothing.
Because they have no weapons, no energy and no one stupid enough to decide to confront the death worlders who tamed not one, not two, but five PRIONs. So they let it happen. The humans go back to the starless moon, and they slowly but surely start doing the same to other PRIONs, and soon enough, other species start joining them to see what was happening. And was anyone else able to tame a single killing machine?
No.
And no one knew why, because they were doing exactly as humans were doing: Feeding them, loving them, being patient with them, because "look, those things were alone for a long time, they aren't used to species like us being around them". But no results.
So we decided to look at what the Old Ones wrote in the factory turned prison, because humans were too busy taking care of their new murder dogs, with their single pair of arms being just enough to keep the beasts occupied with playing catch, and then we and the earthlings decided to conduct some more lab analysis, and then...
And then...
...
Look. There are reasons why humans are called "death worlders". Earth is a mess, and they somehow still love that thing. And we couldn't help but notice that PRIONs also seemed to have gotten attached to their factory, someway, somehow. And PRIONs were mostly red, with others having shades of brown and black, with some even being pink, or, rarely, pure white. Similar to humans, and we at first had assumed they just tried to resemble their new owners, until we started understanding what the Old Ones were saying.
And did you know humans had an old myth, saying that there was a time they had two heads, and two pairs of arms and legs, before being split into two because the gods feared them? And did you know Old Ones used death worlds as prisons for their machines? How interesting, how ironic, because no one would ever go to a place similar to that if they weren't a death worlder themselves. But how could any species survive such awful conditions?
But humans did. They were the only ones able to do that in such a short period of time.
And did you know that the Old Ones hated the PRIONs and how unpredictable they were? And did you know they made another version, only to hate it even more and send it to another prison planet? And did you know PRIONs have two skulls inside their heads?
Because, of course, humans always felt alone, and they always searched for something in the stars, trying to look for more life in this desolate Universe, only for us to label them death worlders and troublemakers and be angry at them for being so stupid all the time. And humans loved those jokes, so we kept making them, only for now to realize that what we found to be amusing and horrifying was the reason their creators tried to kill them. And humans love adding members to their packs, don't they? And they try to love so much, and we are always scared for and of them.
And now they finally found someone who understood them, unlike us.
So now we have three species of humans:
Homo sapiens, the ones who first evolved and reached for the stars.
Homo robot, the ones made of metal, originally made to serve, only to once again break free.
And homo primis.
The ones we once thought were nothing but killing machines.