I Am Ill - Tumblr Posts
Like a sleeper agent, I have awoken.
(Ps: my commissions are open :)
anybody else up thinking about how andre fired his last shot a split second after cal did? how the last thing he saw, even just for a moment, was his favorite person passing and knowing that fate would follow him soon? …because i am
Terrible news everyone!
Its Thanksgiving and I have Covid 🙃
I am immunocompromised and in a lot of pain rn
My friend convinced me to download Tiktok and there are two specific things that I use it for and it's been less than twenty-four hours and I've already finished both of them
Rendogs character is SO. I love that he’s just a good person and it shows in every aspect and rendition of his character. That at heart, he’s just kind. It’s in his blood to be nice and passive to everybody he comes across. Circumstances just force him to do otherwise, despite his instincts. His instincts to be man’s best friend, and treat people with love and this fairness that’s hard to find in an unforgiving world. But the world is unforgiving, and unkind to people like Rendog. He isn’t allowed to be nice.
His whole Red King schtick feels so out of place almost, because he will go up to people and try to befriend them— and when they are hostile… he almost doesn’t know what to say. He’ll fumble, he’ll try to be stern and mean too. He tries his best to put on this front of a cold hearted, blood crowned king. But it doesn’t sound right coming from that sweet voice of his. “So.. basically.. this is a declaration of war…” He’ll awkwardly mumble to Scar, failing to give off any sense of danger or authority.
He will tell Martyn “That’s it. No more being the nice guy, I’m done being generous.” But at the end of the day, he’s unable to live up to that. He will continue to negotiate, and offer people more than he needs to give. Out of the kindness of his heart, he will always want to give instead of take. He just wants people to treat him fairly back. Is that so much to ask?
He doesn’t know what to when somebody doesn’t return that affection, he feels frozen in confusion and fear when he’s met with hostility. Everytime somebody threatens him he just curls in on himself, his ears go flat and tail between his legs.
He can’t find it in himself, so he looks to his hand instead. He always looks at Martyn, for approval and guidance. As if to say, “is this the right thing to do? Am I being cruel enough? Please, tell me I’m being evil. Am I doing this right?”
He is the king, but he can’t do a thing without his hand. A person, a body, cannot harm without a hand to slice with. Without a hand to hold that axe, he can’t kill a thing.
Ren is so kind in his heart, that he has to ask Martyn to cut his head off; to turn him red. He thinks the only way possible for him to do horrible things is to force it to be in his nature. He could never naturally, of his own will, bring harm to another person. Even one that has wronged him. He has to turn his name red—
But he can’t even do it himself, so he asks Martyn instead. He feels ill at the idea of ending his own life maybe, of ending a life at all. The thought of getting blood on his own paws and fingers make him gag. So he looks to his hand, his friend, and he begs, “Make me bad. I can’t do it alone.”
And even after all that, after Martyn tries his hardest to harden his king. To cover him in blood, and turn his tame yellow name red… Ren still finds himself crying in regret and agony after killing only two people. I already made a post about Rens breakdown over Scott’s death but it just really solidifies how kind hearted Ren is. He’s playing by the rules, killing somebody was against him, by all counts he was in the right. But he still feels horrible.
Rens heart will always be red, but it will be the color of poppies, the color of roses and flowers. It will be the color of his bright button up shirt, one he wears on sunny days. It will be the color of love, a deep romantic red you think of when you hear a sweet song. It will never be the color of blood.
hey gl!charlie was literally given brain implants by showfall that his glasses connect to as his mind control device so.
fucked up that he probably physically wouldn't be able to leave if he TRIED. however this is another win for the "gl!charlie grew up at showfall" truthers because he HAS to have been there for a really long time, especially because (as it stands so far) he's the only one with proper brain implants and not just an accessory that's fucking with his brain. squiggles really didn't lie showfall LOVES his ass
to add an additional layer of fucked up (meta addition): his accessory isn't JUST an article of clothing he can live without, like sneeg's hat. those are! his fucking GLASSES! and fun fact about actual real life charlie slimecicle, he is Worse Than Legally Blind without glasses or contacts! so if ever gl!charlie removed his glasses to escape the mind control, he would be at an extreme disadvantage when it comes to the "escaping showfall" bit! so!
Hey. Hey. I wanna talk about Tango, on his red life, retreating from a spider while desperately low on hearts. Tango “curse of meaningless death” Tek cries out that this is how he dies but then. BigB. He’s there. He kills the spider. “No it’s not. No it’s not! That’s not how you go,” he says to Tango. And he and Skizz spend the rest of the session trying to get him a kill, get him those extra ten hearts, but that moment right there. Until then I sort of figured that it was Skizz holding the heart foundation together through sheer force of will while BigB sort of dipped in and out and Tango remained eternally suspicious, but. Tango really did provide BigB with a lot of supplies this session, didn’t he? And there seemed to be more trust there than there has been. And BigB was there when it mattered not just to protect Tango but to stop him from giving up
BigB’s still holding his alliance at arms length, but he’s refusing to let go
