I'M IN HELL - Tumblr Posts
I AM IN PURE HELL I CAN'T TELL IF I JUST HAVE THE INTENSE NEED TO SHIT OR IF I'M ALLERGIC TO COFFEE I WANNA CRY
Genuinely insane how competitive jobs are, and I’m saying this as someone who’s only 18.
My first job was only one of about five I applied for, required no cover letter, had no previous work experience, got me hired after the first interview, and paid $16.50 at 17 y.o.
Now I’ve applied to no less than 35 jobs on and off campus, with a cover letter, and with job + interview experience. The only places hiring are paying $16.25, and I’ve only had three interviews (completed the most recent one today) and I’ve been rejected by the previous two.
It's Done | Sebastian x Reader (Angst)
Category: Angst (Suggested) Age: 17+ Trigger Warnings: Mention of cheating, suicide attempt, implied suicide, overdose Ship: Sebastian x Reader Summary: Sebastian tells (Y/N) the truth about her boyfriend, his best friend, Sam, and she simply spirals after that Request: N/A Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 5.1k
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The Luau of all possible times to break the information to her. The truth. The truth that made the woman’s heart crumble almost as hard as when her Grandfather died - which says a lot about how much she loved Sam.
They were sitting around the campfire on the Beach, all laughing and joking around. Abigail being loud for once, but that’s most likely a result of the alcohol coursing through her system, Sam making terrible jokes along with the purple-haired woman, and Sebastian just keeping his usual stoic expression, arms out behind him, palms flat in the sand to keep him half sat up and half laying down.
“Remember that time we broke into JojaMart before it was fully constructed? We nearly got caught by Morris!” Sam laughs, lightly pushing Abigail to emphasise his story.
The woman laughs harder than what (Y/N) would deem necessary but she wasn’t there at that time in their life.
“Oh my God, Sammy, we could’ve gotten into serious trouble!” Abigail squeals, the pair hiccuping on the alcohol in their bloodstream and the cackles pouring from their lips.
(Y/N) furrows her brows at that moment.
Sammy?
Whenever (Y/N) attempted to use the same nickname on the blond, he immediately shut it down. Said he hated it. She questioned no further. Her boyfriend didn’t need a reason to dislike a certain nickname, but how come it’s okay for Abigail to use it?
Then again, they are absolutely smashed.
Sebastian stands up suddenly, throwing on his hoodie and pulling out his cigarettes, gesturing toward them as Abigail and Sam glance in his direction.
Sam nods whilst Abigail turns her attention back to the blond and continues with their humorous story. Seeing a glint in the quiet man’s eyes that almost pleads with her to trust him, (Y/N) stands up and murmurs some excuse about going for a quick walk to stretch her legs, which her boyfriend pays no mind to.
She follows Sebastian up the pier until they’re stood in front of Willy’s shop, the building protecting them from the sights of their friends on the beach.
“What’s going on?” (Y/N) begins as the man lights the cigarette hanging from his lips.
He remains silent as he takes the first drag before pulling it from his mouth, sighing out the toxic smoke into the cool, night air of Spring.
“He’s cheating on you.”
The breath is taken straight from her lungs at that moment. The man breathing all the available air around them through the next drag of his cigarette.
“Sorry?” Her voice is quiet. Almost a squeak.
Sebastian turns to look at the woman then, not having ever heard her sound so quiet. So vulnerable.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve probably sugar-coated that a bit.”
This is the most conversation she’s gotten out of the man in all three-years they’ve been friends. Well, friends might be pushing it. Three-years since they’ve been acquainted.
(Y/N) shakes her head but keeps her eyes on the sea, not daring to move. She doesn’t know if she can.
“How long?” Are the only words she manages.
The man sighs and turns his own eyes back to the water, taking another drag of the cigarette.
“I don’t know for sure; I caught them making out behind The Stardrop after Gus’ birthday party last year on my way home.”
The realisation is too much, the woman wretches, knees almost buckling as she throws up the contents of her stomach, tainting the gorgeous blue water below them.
Sebastian panics, throwing his cigarette into the water without a second thought, grabbing the woman carefully but strong enough to make sure she doesn’t fall. One hand around her waist with the other holding her hair out the way of the waterfall of alcohol and feelings that rips from her mouth.
“Hey, woah, shit, okay, it’s okay, just let it out.” He stumbles over his words a little bit. She’s not surprised. This is probably the most human interaction he’s had in years, and it’s unfortunately being used to soothe her shattering heart.
They remain silent while she comes down from her vomiting.
“You good?” He offers when she’s finally settled for at least sixty-seconds.
She opens and closes her mouth a few times, spitting into the water to try remove the horrible aftertaste that curses her mouth.
She nods before changing it to the shaking of her head before changing it back.
“Do we have any water?” She asks, Sebastian now taking the opportunity to remove the contact he has on her.
“I’m pretty sure we have a few bottles left back there from the Luau.” He tells her, eyes locked on the side profile of her face as she still stares out at the sea.
A breath of a laugh escapes her lips. She spits again and turns to face away from the man.
“Thank you, Sebastian. Have a good night.”
He doesn’t say anything. He just watches as she walks back down the pier toward their two friends who’ve been deceiving her for God-knows how long, but she doesn’t even know it was Abigail yet.
She broke up with Sam that night. There and then on the beach. Abigail looks gobsmacked, and Sam just looks confused. Maybe upset.
The cottage is noticeably colder that night, the alcohol in her own system not helping at all. Fortunately she has to be up at six-AM to feed the chickens and water some of the new plants she bought that she hasn’t had time to craft some sprinklers for yet, so she only has to manage four hours in the bed. Alone.
The next day is dull. So are the six that follow after that. She doesn’t leave the farm. She doesn’t go into town and check the bulletin boards and help everyone like she always did. She doesn’t go for breakfast with Lewis on Tuesday like they always did, and she doesn’t help Leah with painting on a Thursday afternoon. She just wakes up, tends to her farm - the bare minimum she can do - and then goes back to bed.
She doesn’t cry. No. She just feels numb.
Sam made her feel more welcomed into Stardew Valley than anyone else. He showed her more love and affection than she had ever even seen before when she lived in the city. And he understood how she felt because he used to live in the city too. And yet, that wasn’t enough. She gave him her all and it was still never enough. She never was, never has been, and never will be, enough.
The knock at her cottage door startles her. Literally. She jumps and a peak of a squeal escapes her lips as she stares down the small corridor of her home that connects the bedroom to the living room where her front door is.
For a second she thinks she’s hallucinating. Thinks that she made the sound up in her head. But then it knocks again. Firmer this time.
She gulps and clambers out of bed, quickly scanning herself over in the body-length mirror to see if she looks as bad as she thinks. She does, but she doesn’t have much of a choice. Her lights are on and everyone in this village knows she would never leave them on if she was out.
Pulling open the door, she expected her ex-boyfriend, not his best friend.
“Hey.” Is the only word he says, cigarette between his fingers once again.
“Hi.”
She feels cliche. Like she’s in some movie. Why is this so awkward? Oh, yeah, right, because Sebastian has never once given her the time of day, so why the hell is he on her doorstep? Alone? The only time he’s done this was to come and have band practice with Sam and Abigail.
He almost seems to be asking himself the same question: why is he here?
“Are you okay?”
It catches her off-guard.
“Yeah, why?”
He raises a brow at her answer as if she’s stupid.
“No offence but why are you here?” She adds, watching him shrug and look around for an appropriate ashtray.
She offers her hand out and takes the stub off of him, keeping it in her hand to throw away once she’s back inside.
“Thought I’d check in. You missed, uhm, Sam’s birthday party. You really like parties.”
The statement catches her off-guard. Not that she missed her ex’s birthday, no, but Sebastian noticed that she likes parties?
“How do you know that?” She asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“Uh, cause you’re always your happiest at any party.”
She’s confused. Very confused.
“Yeah, but how do you know that?”
“Cause I’ve seen you at the parties? I’m confused; what do you want me to say?”
“You noticed me?”
A mild blush coats his cheeks as he sighs and glances away from her.
“You’re usually pretty chatty so you’re not exactly hard to miss.”
Ouch.
“Not in a bad way. I mean, like, you’re the life of the party most of the time. You’ve never missed a single one.” He defends, noticing the way her face drops at his words. “I just, I know you broke it off, but I was surprised you missed it nonetheless. I just wanted to check how you were doing.”
“I’m fine, thank you, sorry for your wasted journey.” She closes the door after that, too tired to socialise anymore.
As much as she doesn’t want to be, she’s grateful that someone came to check on her. At least she’s still wanted. She’s just surprised it was Sebastian of all people.
Perhaps she wants him to knock again and tell her that he’s not leaving until he knows for sure that she’s okay, but that’s not what she really wants. Or is it? She doesn’t know.
Another week passes and she’s now more aware of all the birthdays she’s missing. She feels particularly bad for missing Demetrius’ party, given that him and Robin made her feel so welcomed into the Valley when she first arrived, let alone the fact that it’s almost Sebastian’s step-father. She missed Willy’s birthday too, but she knows she could never have attended that. It’s always hosted at the beach, obviously, and she’s not too sure she could face going back there.
Fourteen-days since she had her heart broken by her boyfriend, and he wasn’t even the one to admit it.
Maybe she should’ve at least checked that Sebastian’s words were true before she made such a rash decision, but deep down she knows they definitely were. The man of few words would always choose to not speak if he could, but something made him want to tell her that day. She trusts him. He’s always honest if he does choose to speak.
Maybe she should’ve asked who Sam cheated with. But the truth is she doesn’t care. Why should she? The point is that he chose to crush her heart, it doesn’t matter who he used to do that.
It’s the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies on Sunday. Her favourite holiday of the year. Whilst she thoroughly enjoys Summer, she adores Winter. She loves snow far too much.
For the last three years, she went with Sam, always. He always told her that he adores the way her eyes glimmer in the light of the jellyfish.
What a load of utter bullshit.
She knows she should go though. People really will start to worry since they know how much she adores it.
So she goes. She drags herself out of bed, showers, tends to her farm, wears her favourite silver dress and walks down to the beach for the first time in seventeen days.
“(Y/N)!” Leah exclaims, running across the sand to give the woman a hug. “Oh my goodness, where have you been!? I’ve missed you so much!”
(Y/N) giggles and grins.
“I’m sorry! I’ve been feeling a little down so just been focusing on keeping the farm up to standard. How’ve you been?”
If the woman is being honest, Leah’s words and life update go straight in one ear and out of the other. She’s too caught up in her own thoughts on looking around in search of that distinctive blond hair.
“Sorry, I’m keeping you from saying hello to everyone! I’ll see you around, (Y/N)!” The red-head finally says, (Y/N) smiling earnestly and nodding before continue her route around the beach, saying hello to everybody, apologising to Willy for missing his birthday, as with Demetrius, but then she stands at the bottom of the right-hand pier where the band are stood chatting at the top.
Well, two of them are chatting.
“You doing okay?” (Y/N)’s head turns to her left where Haley and Alex are standing, both looking at the woman with a solemn smile.
She simply beams in response and nods.
“Yeah, for sure, thank you! How’re you guys doing?” The woman offers, Haley nodding.
“Pretty good, thanks. I left my camera at home though.”
“Again!?” (Y/N) jokes, Alex chuckling.
“She always does.” The jock agrees.
Their conversation ends but the woman doesn’t move, keeping her eyes on the trio at the top once again.
As if feeling her stare, Sebastian turns his head and catches her eye, a brief smile taking over his face as he notices her. He glances at his two friends, seeing them too caught up in their own conversation, before walking down the pier.
“I’m glad you came.”
The woman smiles and nods.
“I guess I had to leave the farm at some point so people wouldn’t think I was dead.” She attempts to joke, which he surprisingly chuckles at.
“Yeah.”
The pair fall into a silence for a few moments, the chatter of the villagers filling the space, along with the sound of the waves hitting the wooden pier.
“How’s he doing?” She dares, the pair looking at the blond as he continues joking around with Abigail.
Sebastian doesn’t answer. She doesn’t want one really.
“Are you excited?” She offers instead.
“I’m pretty sure I saw something big and dark moving down there to be honest.” He answers, making the woman chuckle.
“You sure that wasn’t your reflection?”
Another laugh from the usually silent man.
“I’m going to send off the boat, folks.” Lewis’ voice captures everyone's attention.
“You should go back to them.” (Y/N) smiles, her and Sebastian finally looking at one another again.
He shrugs.
“No need.”
She smiles. Whether Sebastian really doesn’t care about standing with his friends, or whether he just doesn’t want (Y/N) to be alone, she appreciates it.
The jellyfish appear shortly after Lewis sends off the boat, everyone gasping and whispering, but (Y/N) and Sebastian remain silent. She smiles at the view. It’s her favourite. Beautiful.
“You’re happy.” Sebastian murmurs.
She doesn’t respond.
It’s unfortunate timing when the woman turns her head and watches as her ex-boyfriend and best-friend lock lips under the light of the jellyfish, their arms wrapped around one another in a way that looks so… natural.
Surely not? Surely there’s no way that her boyfriend and her best friend have been fucking around behind her back. Surely?
She feels bile rising up in her throat again. The same way it did when Sebastian first confessed the truth behind her lying boyfriend.
“Tell me I’m hallucinating.” She murmurs, Sebastian now looking at (Y/N) before diverting his attention to whatever it is she’s staring at.
His eyes widen at the sight. He knew it was Abigail, sure, but Sam said it wasn’t ever going to be a public, legitimate thing. Just a friends-with-benefits kind of deal. That doesn’t make it better but it meant that she was safe from coming out to events like this without having to see that.
The quiet man gulps and she hears it.
“You knew it was her.” It’s not a question. Her eyes remain locked on the couple at the end of the pier.
Sebastian says nothing.
She can’t stand it. She thought that she would never need to know who it was her boyfriend was cheating on her with but this is something else.
She turns around and leaves. Walks straight back down the pier, capturing the attention of Haley and Alex once again as she does, but they don’t do anything.
“You’re going to miss the jellies, miss!” Vincent’s voice attempts as she passes him on the way, but she ignores him.
She feels awful but her mind is a whirlpool of emotions right now.
What she doesn’t see is the aftermath of what she walked away from.
Sebastian takes a deep breath before walking up to the top of the pier and ripping his friends off of each other before swinging his fist straight into Sam’s face.
A gasp from Abigail, and Haley which is unheard.
“You fucking told me you weren’t gonna be public.”
Sam’s nose is bleeding, his hand covering it in an attempt to soothe the throb. His eyebrows are furrowed as he stares at his usually stoic best friend.
“What the fuck, man?”
“Seb, what the hell?” Abigail adds, eyes wide.
“You know what? I’m done. Trying to keep your secret whilst she was with us was hard enough, but you two being public barely two-weeks after she finds out? You’re fucked. Fuck you both, I’m done.”
He says nothing more as he walks down the pier in an attempt to catch up to the woman.
“Sebastian, man, are you alright?” Alex’s voice calls as he passes, but he ignores it.
He doesn’t want sympathy or pity. She doesn’t want sympathy or pity. He knows this. So why the hell is he going after her?
“(Y/N)!” He calls as he passes the Stardrop, noticing her as she heads down the path home.
She ignores him.
“(Y/N), wait, please!”
The woman swings around and Sebastian’s posture falters at the sight of her tears and make-up smeared face.
“Fuck them and fuck you!” She yells, her voice breaking.
“(Y/N), please, listen-”
“I don’t wanna listen! I’m done, Sebastian, okay? I’m done. I appreciate you telling me the truth but I’m done now. Please just leave me alone.”
She turns to walk away again. He takes a step forward to follow her but he manages to stop himself. He knows what it’s like to be pushed and pushed to do something when you don’t want to. Especially talking. So he stops. And he doesn’t follow her. And that may have been the last time he ever chose to not talk.
Time passes. He doesn’t see her through fall. He doesn’t try. He checks the farm every so often to make sure she’s still alive, but that’s all.
It’s painfully cliche that the next time he saw her was his birthday. It was never intentional, just purely a bad coincidence.
All the villagers were over at his house for his birthday, his mother putting on a huge spread just outside their home, making use of all the space they have. Despite Sebastian not enjoying socialising, he appreciates the amount of people who have made the effort to come and celebrate with him anyway.
It’s late at night now. Maybe nine or ten-PM. Most guests have gone home, his parents have gone to bed.
He’s sitting at the dining table in the kitchen with Maru, Alex and Haley when Sam and Abigail turn the corner, Sebastian’s expression remaining as stoic as ever when he sees them.
“Hey, man, we just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I know you don’t like events but we just wanted to wish you our best.” Sam offers, Haley breathing out a pitiful laugh.
“How sweet of you both.” The blonde woman offers, Alex chuckling at the sarcasm dripping from her lips.
“I think it’s best that you leave to be honest.” Maru suggests, looking sad as they were once her friends too, but she knows what they did and she knows that’s unforgivable. And more so, if Sebastian hates them then she hates them too. She trusts her older brother enough.
Sam gulps but nods, turning away, but Abigail stays put.
“You’re really just gonna throw all our years of friendship out just like that?” She asks the birthday boy.
“Isn’t that exactly what you did to (Y/N)?” He asks, expression not changing.
“She wasn’t even friends with us that long and she never really fit in with us anyway, Seb, you know that.”
“Are you serious?”
There’s a look in his eyes that shows a fury that neither Abigail nor Sam had ever seen before. The blond grabs Abigail’s hand and gently tugs her toward him.
“Come on, Abby, let’s go.”
“SOMEBODY, PLEASE, HELP!” A voice echoes through the halls of the Carpenter’s home, everyone standing up and sprinting down the corridors until they get to the entrance hall. The sight makes Sebastian’s knees nearly buckle.
Linus is there with a body in his arms. Her body in his arms.
“Help, please, I just found her like this around the caves, I don’t know if she’s breathing!” The man yells, eyes desperate and begging.
Sebastian shoves past everyone and looks down at the woman he hasn’t seen since the end of Summer. There are cuts all over her body, blood is still dripping onto the golden-coloured rug that sits in the entrance hall. Her eyes are shut and unmoving, arms limp by her side.
“Maru, do you have a key for Harvey’s place?” He asks, turning to look at his half-sister with more seriousness than ever before.
The woman shakes her head.
“No, but Harvey will be in, he only left here an hour or so ago.”
Sebastian nods and takes the woman out of Linus’ hold before meeting his eye.
“Thank you.”
They’re only two words but Linus knows they hold so much meaning.
“HARVEY, OPEN UP! EMERGENCY!” Maru yells, along with Alex and Haley.
They’re banging on the door of the doctor’s, not even concerned that they’re probably going to wake Pierre and Caroline too.
“Come on, come on, come on.” Sebastian mutters, body shaking as he continues looking down at the woman in his arms.
“Seb-”
“Don’t fucking speak to me right now.” The man cuts off Abigail before she even finishes whatever word was coming out her mouth.
Sam is shaken up. His eyes boring down on the woman he once loved. The woman whose heart he broke.
“She was always so careful when out in the caves. She always stopped whenever she was out-numbered with monsters. She would never use up all her energy. She was never reckless, so what the hell happened!?” The blond asks out loud, mind racing with how his ex-lover could’ve ended up in such a situation.
“You happened.” Sebastian states, not taking his eyes off of the woman.
The blond is taken aback by his old friend’s statement but deep down he knows it’s true.
The sound of the doctor’s door unlocking prompts the stoic man to look up.
“What the hell is going on?” Harvey’s voice asks as he looks at the crowd on his doorstep.
“Harvey, it’s (Y/N), she was in the caves and seems to have gotten into some trouble, she’s unconscious and bleeding.” Maru summarises, the doctor nodding and quickly ushering in Sebastian and Maru.
“If you could all please wait outside whilst I examine her.” Harvey asks, Alex nodding on behalf of everyone.
“No worries, Harvey, just please make sure she’s alright.” The brunet pleads.
Harvey nods before closing the door and dashing toward the medical room where Sebastian has set down the woman.
There’s a handful of medical talk between the Doctor and Maru whilst Sebastian sits on the chair beside the bed, watching the pair of them work on the woman with vigor.
It’s about forty-five minutes later when they finally stop.
“Okay, she’s gonna be fine.” Harvey begins, Sebastian standing up and nodding, awaiting further information. “None of her cuts were too fatal but she has sprained her left wrist and split open the back of her right calf so she’s pretty imobile but at least two-weeks, maybe four.”
Sebastian gulps but nods, awaiting any further detail.
“She’s gonna need someone to help her out. She lives alone at the farm, right? Does she have anyone who could stay with her for some time?”
Before Maru could even ask her brother for suggestions, he’s already volunteering.
“I’ll do it. It’s no bother.”
The smile on Maru’s face is almost enough to make the man cry. She always was the only one who looked up to him but he ignored it, clouded by his own jealousy.
“Are you sure?” Harvey confirms, Sebastian nodding.
“Yeah, it’s no problem.”
She stays at the Doctor’s until she wakes up again which isn’t until noon the following day.
“What the hell?” She murmurs, growing accustomed to the bright lights around her.
“You’re at the Doctor’s.” Sebastian offers, prompting her head to snap toward him, eyes widening.
“Sebastian…” It’s a whisper.
He says nothing. Attempts a pitiful smile.
“What happened?” The woman asks.
“You got hurt in the caves; Linus found you, brought you to my house as it was closest.” He briefs.
She nods slowly.
“I gotta thank Linus.”
Sebastian nods in agreement.
“Harvey says you can’t be on your own while you recover so I’m gonna come stay with you at the farm.”
“What the hell? No - I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine, (Y/N), you nearly died.”
She hears the stress in his voice as he states the fact.
“But I’m not dead.”
“It’s not really up for negotiation; Harvey’s orders.”
“Does it have to be you?”
The man releases a breath of laughter.
“I suppose not, no.”
“I want to go home.” She states, Sebastian nodding.
“I’ll grab Harvey, see if he can give the okay.”
(Y/N) nods and watches him walk toward the door.
“Sebastian,”
He stops and turns to face the woman, stoic expression back once again.
“Hm?”
“Sorry I missed your birthday.”
He smiles and shakes his head.
“Let me help you get back to full health and I’ll forgive you.”
“Deal.”
Harvey dismisses the woman that day and Sebastian helps her back to the farm.
“Do you need me to go do anything? Water plants? Check on the animals?”
The woman smiles at him and he trails off, unsure what he’s done to cause such a reaction.
“What?”
“Thank you.” She whispers, watching him give a small smile in response.
“You don’t need to thank me, just give me a checklist.”
So she does. Sebastian maintains her farm every single day using the checklist she provided, making sure to cook her breakfast, lunch and dinner.
She’s impressed at how different he is compared to when he was at Robin’s all the time, locked up in his room playing video games. She hates it. Feels indescribable amounts of guilt that she’s taken him away from the comfort of his usual day-to-day life.
She not only missed his birthday but gatecrashed it by being reckless up in the caves. He deserves better. Not even including how guilty she feels that she ripped him away from Sam and Abigail, especially when she’s certain that he had feelings for Abigail for a long, long time.
It hurts. Her heart. She thought a fresh start at the farm would be good for her, but she hurts now more than ever.
The woman hobbles to the bathroom in her cottage, locking the door behind her while Sebastian is out tending to her crops. Opening the bathroom cupboard, she grabs all the medications she’s been prescribed by Harvey. She’s crying now. Silently screaming for help but she doesn’t want it. Does she? Maybe she does. Maybe she’s tired of Sebastian sleeping on the couch of her cottage. Tired of him cooking her food like they’re an old married couple. Tired of being useless. Tired of not being enough.
She swallows two. Then two more. Then two more. Then two of a different type. Then two more. And more. And more. And more.
She sinks to the floor, medication bottles scattered around her. She’s done.
Her head is floating but feels so heavy at the same time. It makes no sense. It’s almost nice though. Relieving. It’s over.
Sebastian is really good with gut instincts and feelings. He prides himself on it. It’s almost creepy how good his gut feelings are. But he never trusted them again after that.
He walks back into the cottage without a worry in the world.
“I fed the animals, watered the plants and filled up Miso’s bowl.” He calls, referring to the pet cat she has wandering the farm grounds. “Do you need me to do anything else before I cook some dinner?”
No response. Probably sleeping. She’s been pretty restless the last week. Unable to sleep. He stirred when she hobbled into the living room one night in search of some juice. She apologised for waking him but he didn’t mind. They watched some TV show before she fell asleep on the sofa beside him. He carried her to bed. They never spoke of it.
He starts boiling the kettle before walking into her bedroom, already smiling at the sight but it quickly disappears when that sight isn’t there.
“(Y/N)?” He calls, furrowing his brows and looking around the room in case he’s missed her in plain sight. “(Y/N), I hate shit like this, please don’t fuck around.”
He sounds harsh but he’s honest. He hates hide-and-seek and other stupid games. They cause him to overthink and worry.
There’s no response. He tries the bathroom which is when he acknowledges the locked door.
“(Y/N)?” He calls, knocking on the wood that separates him from the room.
No response.
“(Y/N)!”
Nothing.
“(Y/N), I’m gonna break this door down if you don’t answer me. I’m not kidding.” If she could hear him, she’d know full well he’s not kidding, but she can’t.
His heart is racing.
The thought of her passing out worries him to no end. Especially if she’s hit her head on the way down, or passed out in the bath. She could accidentally drown herself. Her injuries could worsen, not that he minds helping her out. She deserves it. She’s gone through enough shit.
He’s always secluded in his room and isn’t exactly fit, but he breaks the door down with a few shoulder barges, but the sight scares him to death.
She’s not passed out.
Not hit her head.
Not drowned in the bath.
No accidents happened.
But she’s pasty white.
The orange pill bottles that surround her body are the only colour left in the room.
“(Y/N)!” The usually stoic man screams.
He drops to his knees, arms wrapping around her body, hands frantically searching for a heartbeat.
“No, no, no, no!” He’s crying. Tears are streaming. There’s no way. “(Y/N), WAKE THE FUCK UP, PLEASE!”
Nothing.
Not a single twitch.
“HELP! SOMEBODY, FUCK, PLEASE!”
Nothing.
He manages to lift her and run to Harvey but it’s too late.
She’s done.
She’s gone.
And so is he.
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this 4th of july: if you're autistic, have PTSD, or anything else that is going to make loud sounds hell for you, please remember to have ear plugs/headphones, something to distract you like a book or music, and if possible, a quiet place you can go to relax. stay safe and prioritize your mental health! <3
style consistency?? i dont know her.
I based this off of a series of pieces by radishezrom (go check em out!!) don’t do drugs kids
we have to go to bed in 30 minutes and Namida is crying hir eyes out because they're terrified of us going to school again tomorrow