I'm Sorry Lmao - Tumblr Posts
OKAY HEAR ME OUT
British vampire
'i want to sip your teaaa'
he nods almost instantly, mutual agreement. " good choice. it's definitely in my top five, and i agree with invisibility. i don't trust anyone who says that. i mean, it's kind of invasive, right ? " though, of course, if it was the only one on offer he'd take it. he leans back, playful glint in his eyes as he takes a sip of his energy drink, gets ready to dive into it. " i've thought about it a lot. more than a person should, really. but all outcomes lead back to one obvious choice. the power to pause time. i mean, just think about all the things you could do. i could pause time and take a three hour nap. if i got bored of work ? pause. i could even binge watch a show in it's entirety before getting back to it if i really wanted to. not to mention the cool ways i could fuck with peoples heads. not in a evil way, obviously. more so just harmless pranks for my own amusement. but do you want to know what really sells it for me ? " with the question he's leaning in, voice lowered like he's revealing some master plan, " picture this : you’re at the grocery store and someone reaches for your favourite snack only for you to realize it’s the last one on the shelf. pause ! it’s mine now, biatch. " with that, he sinks back into his seat, proud smile adorning features. " tell me that's not the ultimate power move. "
poppy laughed softly, picking up her mug. "please. teleportation.. there's no fuckin way i'd want to know what people's thoughts were.. don't wanna fly.. literally don't even get me started on what it would be like to be invisible." the redhead made a face before taking a sip of her drink. "alright, give me your well thought out answer."
Found something silly aka headcanons generator
Wait I already know this - jellyfish only have 1 hole, so they don't really throw up or poop they do a secret third thing called "throop". And also they'd be eating through their asshole (and shitting through their mouth)
way to ruin the mood
show him a picture of apple and ask him if this is the goal he wants
Recalling that one time when I joked about liking malewives with Ash and he literally told my dad his current aim in life was to become one JUST TO FUCKING EMBARRASS ME
crawled out of my sad cave for once so take like 5 very blurry pictures of somethint called...outside???
dirt and grass!!! not tasty. grass is kinda better but its green so it’s automatically healthy. 6/10. dirt is kinda dry
a flower??? not tasty dont eat. 0/10 had bee in it.
hard to bite. lost all my teeth. also the fish arent real??? video games lied to me. 2/frog
I'd just like to apologise to anyone that follows me, sorry that I reblong the most random shit.
Like one minute I'm talking about American revolution, then to some tv show nobody remembers, and then like video games