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hi, i’m sorry i’m doing this as an anon i just get really anxious when requesting and it’s a little embarrassing but i read your guide for requesting and i noticed that you said something about liking the idea of pegging? so if (and only if) you’re comfortable with it, can you write something about a female reader pegging jeongin for the first time? sorry if this is weird, and if you don’t want to then you can just ignore this!!

Hello! I’m so sorry it took me an eternity to get to this request! First of all, there’s absolutely no judgment in making requests anonymously, I love every request regardless. I actually understand the anxiety, I also struggle with it when I make my own requests towards writers I admire and sometimes, if I'm a little intimidated or if it's my first time approaching a certain writer, I also do it anonymously — so it’s all good!

Secondly, I adore pegging! It is seriously one of my all-time favorite kinks along with shibari, it’s just so much fun and I just love the idea of having men unraveling because it just feels so good for them. UGH 😩 THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST!

I hope you enjoy this, and again, I’m so sorry for taking so long to finally get to it. Please feel free to send me other requests or asks and I promise I'll try to do better about responding! ── ( 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 )

☕️ 𝐄𝐔𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀 ☕️

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 ) 3.4k

──── * ˚ ✦ ECHOES OF US ( stray kids )

❛ After a painful breakup, you and Jeongin struggle to maintain a civil front for your mutual friends, but when he accidentally calls you by your old pet name, unresolved emotions resurface, forcing you both to confront the lingering feelings between you.

𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧 + gender neutral reader ೯ ( 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 )

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 12.6k 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 50 mins

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ Say hello to my very first long-fic! It took me an eternity to get this done, but I'm actually very proud of how it turned out! Also, my very rough draft for this was accidentally posted a few days ago, so if you saw that...no you didn't! This was anonymously requested! (Anon, I'm sorry it took me a hot minute to finally finish this, but I hope I made up for it with how long it ended up being 🫠) Reblogs for this teaser are always appreciated! Requests are currently open! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of sibling death and grief, very brief mention of a dysfunctional home, use of they-them pronouns for Y/N, brief explanation of sibling death, Y/N's sibling has their own name, mentions of being abandoned, heartbreak, awkward re-encounter after almost a year, discussions on mental health, a whole lot of angst, comforting ending, let me know if I missed anything!

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐣𝐚𝐫 )

When Jeongin stepped through the door he had once shared with you, a sense of dread already coiled tightly around his heart, squeezing with every breath. He knew you'd kept your promise to move out by the end of the week, but the reality of it hit harder than he could have imagined. The front hallway, once cluttered with a chaotic jumble of shoes that you always left haphazardly by the entrance, now stood painfully bare, save for his own neatly aligned row of frequently worn sneakers. The absence of your presence echoed louder than any argument ever had, and suddenly he found himself longing for those moments of trivial annoyance—wishing, with a deep, aching desire, that he could quarrel with you about it just once more.

He kicked off his sneakers, setting them carefully amongst the rest of his now lonely footwear. For a moment, he stood there, hesitant, almost willing to call out your name, hoping against hope that you might answer from the bedroom or kitchen, your voice cutting through the oppressive silence that now smothered the apartment. But he knew better. He moved forward with heavy steps, not even bothering to put on his house slippers. The silence that greeted him as he wandered further inside was a deafening reminder of what he had lost. You were gone, and with you, the vibrant energy that had once filled these walls had vanished too.

The living room—once a collage of your combined tastes—was now stripped of the personal touches that made it home. The furniture remained, the couch where you both had laughed and argued, the coffee table marked with rings from careless mugs of tea during lazy mornings. Yet, all the little decorations, the framed art you insisted on hanging, the plants you’d tried so hard to keep alive—they had all disappeared with you. The emptiness was jarring, like a canvas half-painted and abruptly abandoned, leaving every wall and surface barren, the once warm and cozy atmosphere now reduced to a cold, unfamiliar space.

By the time Jeongin reached the bedroom, the last thread of his fragile composure snapped. The bed—where countless memories had been woven—was stripped down to its bare mattress, the sheets gone. The framed photographs of the two of you were turned face down on the bedside table, as if you couldn’t bear to look at them one last time. His eyes moved to the corner where your ridiculously large collection of stuffed animals had once spilled over, crowding half of the bed. That too was empty now. An overwhelming wave of loss washed over him, dragging him to his knees. 

Jeongin's breath came out in shaky gasps as he looked around the hollow shell of what had been your shared sanctuary. You were truly gone. Though he had been the one to end things between you, a decision made in a moment of confusion and pride, he was still hopelessly, painfully in love with you. The realization of his own foolishness crashed over him with unbearable weight, suffocating him in the silence that was once filled with your laughter, your presence, and your love.

Jeongin couldn’t summon a shred of resentment toward you, even if he tried. He understood, all too painfully, that everything that had unraveled between you over the past year was nothing but a sorrowful consequence of your grief. You had once been a soul overflowing with light, always searching for the silver lining amidst the clouds, a spirit who could find a glimmer of hope even in the darkest of times. You, who would often conspire with his mischievous best friend, Seungmin, forming a relentless duo to tease him until he’d feign a pout, forcing you to shower him with kisses until he laughed again. You, who came home every evening brimming with stories about the children you counseled at the school, your eyes alight with passion and care for each of them. All that Jeongin had loved so deeply about you seemed to have been buried alongside your sister, Nari, and this loss was a truth he still grappled with, even now.

As he crawled onto the empty, cold bed that had once been a warm sanctuary for both of you, Jeongin curled into himself, his body folding inward as if trying to shield himself from the harsh reality. His sobs came in ragged waves, tearing through him so violently that he trembled, his breath hitching with each shaky inhale. He missed you more than words could convey—he missed everything about you. The sound of your laughter echoed in his mind like a haunting melody, its tones shifting with your moods: soft and lyrical when merely amused, and loud, unrestrained when joy truly overwhelmed you. He missed those sounds, the ones that used to fill this now desolate space with life and love.

He missed the lazy afternoons you'd spend together, brainstorming new exercises for his music therapy sessions. Those moments would often devolve into impromptu concerts, filled with your carefree, barefoot dancing across the living room floor and his voice following your lead, blending into a harmony of shared happiness. It was in those moments that everything felt right in the world, where nothing existed but the two of you, lost in your own little universe of melodies and movements. He missed those afternoons like one misses the warmth of the sun after too many days of rain.

He missed teasing you in those quiet moments when you were deeply focused, often catching you sticking your tongue out ever so slightly—a quirk of concentration that never failed to endear him. He’d gently pinch it between his fingers, earning himself a mildly exasperated huff as you’d swat his hand away. But he knew that a smile would inevitably creep up on your lips, and you’d turn away to hide it, cheeks flushing with a mix of amusement and affection. It was the kind of simple, tender moment that spoke volumes about the depth of your bond, a bond that now felt irreparably severed.

Every corner of this home whispered memories of you, and he was haunted by them all—the good, the bad, the ones that made him laugh, and especially those that made him cry. Your absence left a void that nothing could fill, a hollow silence where there had once been laughter and love. And even though he knew it was your grief that had driven a wedge between you, he couldn’t help but wish he could find a way back to you, to the person you used to be, and to the love that once made him feel whole.

The night that shattered your world was meant to be a day of celebration: your younger sister Nari’s high school graduation. Jeongin could still see you in his mind's eye that morning, almost vibrating with pure, uncontainable joy. Your eyes were bright, brimming with excitement, and your smile—so wide and beautiful—tugged at his heart each time it graced your lips. Nari was the center of your universe, your pride, your joy, your true soulmate in a world that often felt uncertain and cold. You had been more than just a sister to her; you had been her guardian, her comforter, her everything. You were the one who took on the weight of raising her through the chaotic turmoil of your parents' messy divorce, providing stability where there was none. 

Jeongin could recall countless times Nari would recount how you shielded her from the constant, venomous arguments that echoed through your childhood home. Despite your own young age, you found ways to distract her, to pull her out of the chaos—whether it was with whispered jokes or made-up games that filled her mind with something brighter than the screaming. To Nari, you were a star, someone who had hung the moon just for her. She often spoke with a mix of awe and adoration about the afternoons you both spent sneaking into the little ice cream shop on the way home from school, spending hours laughing over melting cones until you were sure your mother had left for work. 

Jeongin also remembered the quiet, tender moments he would witness after you had graduated and moved out. Nights when Nari would sleep over, curled up beside you, as if you were her very own safe haven in a world that could be so unforgiving. There was a beauty in how you held her close, how you seemed to provide her with an anchor when everything else felt adrift. Yet, no relationship, no matter how deeply cherished, is without its storms. For as vividly as Jeongin could remember the soft, loving moments, he could just as clearly recall the bitter weeks leading up to Nari's graduation—weeks marked by harsh words and heated arguments.

You and Nari shared many things—your fierce loyalty, your protective instincts—but perhaps most notably, the sharp edge of your words. When tempers flared, both of you possessed a mercilessly cutting tongue that could lash out with a force that left deep, stinging wounds. Jeongin hated those fights, hated the cruel things you would shout at each other in the heat of the moment, words that cut so deeply and yet meant nothing once the anger faded. The conflict had started when Nari began dating an older guy who had already graduated. Neither you nor Jeongin liked him, sensing the danger in his recklessness, his penchant for illegal activities that threatened to drag your sister down a path she wasn't prepared for. But Nari, stubborn and convinced she had found the love of her life, refused to listen. The tension between you both grew unbearable, each argument driving another wedge between you and your beloved sister, and Jeongin could do nothing but stand helplessly on the sidelines, watching as she slowly pushed you away.

The real fracture came on what should have been a night of celebration. Nari was supposed to have dinner with you and Jeongin to celebrate her graduation. She promised to meet you both, to share in the joy of her achievement, but instead, she turned off her phone and ran off with her boyfriend to a party that everyone knew would be dangerous. For hours, you and Jeongin called and texted, reaching out to everyone who might have known where she was, each unanswered ring heightening the tension, every minute stretching into a painful eternity. 

And then, the call came—the one that brought your entire world crashing down. Nari had been found dead inside her boyfriend’s car. Both were intoxicated when he decided to drive, his recklessness steering them straight into a tree. The impact killed them both instantly. 

Jeongin would never forget the sound that tore through you in that moment, a wail of agony so deep and raw it seemed to shatter the very air around you. It was a sound that would forever echo in his heart, a haunting melody of a love lost too soon and a pain that could never be soothed.

The piercing sound of Jeongin's phone ringing in his back pocket cut through the thick, oppressive fog of memories that had been drowning him ever since he stepped into the cold, empty apartment that was once alive with the warmth of your shared moments. His body still trembled with the aftershocks of his own heartbreak, his face still wet with a cascade of tears that seemed endless. For a moment, he considered ignoring it, letting it fade away into the void of everything else that felt lost to him. But something compelled him to move, to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone. The screen flashed with a name: Chan. 

Jeongin’s first instinct was to let it ring out. He wasn’t sure he could bear the gentle, pity-laden concern he knew he would hear in Chan’s voice. The idea of facing someone else’s worry, of being forced to articulate the emptiness clawing at his chest, felt like too much. But he also knew that Chan wasn’t just calling for the sake of it—he was worried. Maybe that thought, the notion that someone still cared enough to reach out, was what finally convinced Jeongin to answer. With a shaky breath, he pressed the phone to his ear.

“Yes?” His voice came out rough and broken, as if he’d swallowed shards of glass, a hoarse rasp that even he barely recognized. On the other end, there was a sharp intake of breath, a small hitch that spoke volumes, followed by the sound of Chan clearing his throat in that awkward, nervous way he had when he didn’t know how to approach a delicate subject.

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Chan’s voice was gentle, tentative, as if afraid that anything more might cause Jeongin to shatter completely. The simple question, so innocuous yet loaded with care, brought fresh tears to Jeongin’s eyes. He swallowed thickly, trying to keep his composure, not wanting to add more weight to Chan’s worry.

“As well as I can be...everything is gone.” The words felt heavy on his tongue, sinking like stones into the silence that followed. There was a sigh on the other end, deep and empathetic, filled with an understanding that was both comforting and unbearable.

“I’ll stop by later, yeah?” Chan’s offer came with a note of encouragement, trying to lift the heavy blanket of despair. “I can bring Minho so he can cook you some food, and we can figure out what comes next.” There was kindness in his words, an attempt to pull Jeongin from the pit he’d found himself in, but the weight pressing on Jeongin’s chest didn’t budge, didn’t ease in the slightest.

“Maybe another time, Channie, thank you,” Jeongin murmured, his voice carrying the exhaustion of someone who had been running a losing race against his own emotions. “I think I just need a few days alone.” The silence that stretched between them after was telling, thick with Chan’s unspoken disapproval. Jeongin could almost see the frown on his friend’s face, the way he’d be chewing on his lip, holding back what he really wanted to say.

Eventually, Chan spoke again, his tone carefully measured, almost as if he were walking on eggshells. “Right. Um, hey...Felix wanted to pay Y/N a visit to make sure everything’s alright and to help with the moving. The problem is, none of us really know where they moved, and we thought that maybe they might’ve told you or something?”

The mention of your name was like a punch to the gut, a sharp twist of the knife that had already been embedded in his heart. Jeongin’s breath caught, and he could feel his throat tightening, the sting of tears threatening to spill over once more. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to stay composed, to not break apart all over again.

“No,” he sighed after a moment, rolling onto his back and staring up at the empty, featureless ceiling that seemed to stretch on like an abyss. “I thought you guys would’ve known... but maybe Y/N needs some time alone for a while too. I’m sure they’ll call when they’re ready.”

The words felt hollow, a brittle hope that tasted more like ash on his tongue, but it was all he could offer. And in the silence that followed, Jeongin could only listen to the faint sound of Chan’s breathing, the weight of their shared helplessness settling in like a cold, unwelcome presence in the room.

Jeongin had clung to a fragile hope that, in time, you would reach out to the circle of friends who had once been your shared lifeline. He never imagined that you would confide in him directly—he knew all too well that the pain of his departure still festered like an open wound. You had made it painfully clear how much you resented him for breaking things off when you needed him most. He could still hear your voice, raw with anger and hurt, echoing in his mind as you stormed out of the apartment for the last time.

But never in his darkest nightmares had he expected you to vanish completely, as if swallowed by the earth itself. There wasn't even a whisper of your whereabouts, not the faintest trace left behind to hint at where you might have gone. It was as if you had been erased from existence. When you left, you didn't just walk out of Jeongin's life—you walked away from everything that had tied you to this place. You resigned from your job as a school counselor, the one located just a short distance from Jeongin’s apartment where you had once found solace in guiding young lives through their own turmoil. Your phone number had changed, your social media accounts lay abandoned and untouched, gathering digital dust like forgotten relics of a past life.

For what felt like an eternity, each member of your once tightly-knit group of friends wore the weight of worry like a second skin, tirelessly searching for any sign of you, some confirmation that you were still out there, somewhere, still breathing. Nights were spent in hushed conversations and whispered theories, each one more desperate than the last, wondering if you were even alive. The silence you left in your wake was deafening, a void that consumed every bit of hope they tried to hold onto.

Yet, as the months dragged on and there was still no word—no signal, no letter, not even a single fleeting message—Jeongin and the others were forced to confront a harsh new reality. The absence of your presence became a palpable thing, a hollow emptiness that settled in their chests. Slowly, reluctantly, they began to understand that they might never see you again. And in that painful understanding, they had no choice but to piece together their broken hearts and try, however feebly, to move forward. 

But even as they moved on, a part of Jeongin remained anchored in that lingering silence, waiting for the day it would finally break.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Eight months had passed since you vanished without a word, leaving behind a void that swallowed everything and everyone you once knew. Jeongin found himself seated on a low stool in the center of his sunlit office, a space designed to cradle broken spirits. The room was filled with warmth, the soft, earth-toned walls bathed in a gentle, golden glow that made it feel like a sanctuary amidst the chaos. Around him, cushions were scattered like islands of comfort, and the soft hum of a guitar rested against his body, its strings vibrating gently with each subtle shift of his calloused fingers.

In front of him, a small group sat in a circle, each person a vessel of silent sorrow. Some had their eyes shut tight, trying to shut out the world, while others stared ahead, their gazes distant, lost in the labyrinth of their own pain. Today’s session was centered around grief—a familiar theme that Jeongin had come to understand all too well. His eyes swept over the group, his expression soft and understanding, a silent invitation for them to share their burdens. Directly across from him, a young woman who had recently lost her mother sat rigid, her shoulders taut as bowstrings, her fingers anxiously picking at the frayed edge of her sleeve. Beside her, an elderly man kept his gaze fixed on his wrinkled hands, folded so tightly in his lap it seemed as if he was afraid he might fall apart if he let go.

Jeongin's fingers began to dance over the guitar strings, coaxing out a few gentle notes that floated through the room like a soft breeze on a warm day. The melody was simple, almost like a lullaby—tender and soothing, a soft hand reaching out in the enveloping darkness. It was a song he had crafted with your help, your voice whispering in his mind, guiding the melody with your mesmerizing ideas and gentle critiques. He tried not to think of you now, of the countless hours you'd spent together creating this very piece, but the memory lingered like a ghost.

“Let’s take a deep breath,” he murmured, his voice a low hum that barely rose above the delicate strumming. “Breathe in... and out. Feel the music as it moves through you.” His voice was smooth and warm as he began to sing, threading through the air like a comforting embrace. The lyrics were a balm for weary souls, speaking of finding peace amid the storm, of a quiet place where one could lay down their burdens. He watched the room with quiet intent, observing as the music began to weave its subtle magic.

The young woman’s shoulders, once so tense, began to loosen ever so slightly, her breath easing into a more natural rhythm. The elderly man’s grip on his hands softened, his fingers unclenching as if the melody had given him permission to let go, if only for a moment. Jeongin’s heart ached as he shifted the melody into a new key, a hint of melancholy now woven into the notes. His voice leaned into the emotion, allowing it to crack and falter in just the right places, like a mirror reflecting the fractures of a breaking heart.

He knew the power of those small imperfections—the way a slight fracture in the music could resonate with the cracks in a person’s soul, giving them the courage to confront their own pain. The room felt heavy with unspoken sorrow, yet somehow lighter, too, as if each note was drawing out a little of the darkness from within. And as he continued to sing, Jeongin allowed himself to feel the weight of his own grief, letting it pour into the song, knowing that sometimes, in the quiet beauty of shared pain, there was a kind of healing.

Moments later, a soft sob broke the fragile silence. The young woman's face crumpled as she brought a trembling hand to her mouth, tears spilling down her cheeks in rivulets that caught the light. Jeongin’s heart ached for her, a deep, familiar pain unfurling in his chest. His mind flashed back to countless moments where he had seen that same expression etched across your own face—the anguish, the vulnerability. But he didn’t stop playing. Instead, he allowed the melody to swell, his fingers coaxing the guitar strings through the dark waters of sorrow and guiding them back toward a glimmer of hope, like a lighthouse in a storm.

“Let it out,” he murmured, his voice a soft, comforting undertone to the music. “There’s no need to hold back here.” His words were a gentle invitation, a permission to release the emotions that had been held back for far too long. And as if on cue, the room filled with the raw sounds of grief—soft, stifled sobs, muffled cries, the quiet sniffles of those who had long forgotten how to weep openly. Jeongin continued to play, his music becoming a vessel for their pain, a safe harbor where tears could flow without shame or judgment. 

Across the circle, he caught a glimpse of the elderly man, his head bowed low, his lips quivering as he mouthed the words of the song. His eyes were squeezed shut, as if trying to ward off a memory too painful to face. Jeongin’s gaze softened, and he let the melody shift, his fingers moving with practiced ease into something softer, gentler—like a lull after the fury of a storm. Each note was deliberate, a quiet caress to soothe the raw edges of the room's collective sorrow. He watched as the weight of grief began to lift, ever so slightly, and the room took a deep breath, exhaling the heaviness that had clung to them like a shadow.

When the final note faded into the stillness, Jeongin let the silence settle, heavy but not suffocating. He set his guitar down gently, his eyes meeting each person’s in turn, offering a silent acknowledgment of their pain. “Thank you for sharing this space with me,” he said, his voice a soft balm even as his own heart bore the scars of past regrets. Too often did Jeongin lose sleep over how he, despite his profession, had failed to help you through your own grief. “Grief is heavy, but together, we can carry it, even if just for a moment.”

The young woman wiped at her tears, her face still etched with the rawness of her emotions, but in her eyes, there was a faint spark—a glimmer of relief, as if, for the first time in a long while, she felt a little less alone. The elderly man’s shoulders sagged, a heavy breath escaping his lips, as though a burden had been lifted, if only for a moment. Jeongin offered a small, gentle smile, a subtle curve of his lips that spoke of understanding and quiet encouragement. He picked up his guitar again, fingers brushing against the strings with a familiar, comforting touch.

“How about we end with something light?” he suggested, strumming a few upbeat chords, his eyes brightening with a hint of mischief. “Maybe a song that reminds us of hope. Even when it’s hard to see, it’s always there… waiting for us.” His words hung in the air like a promise, a tender reminder that there was light even in the darkest of places.

And so, with his voice soft but steady, Jeongin led them into another song—one that spoke of healing, of finding strength in the most shattered places, and of a quiet, enduring joy that could bloom even in the darkest seasons of life. This was a song Jeongin had written and composed in the wake of your absence, in the silence that followed your sudden departure. It was a song born of hope, crafted in those long months of not knowing, a song he had always dreamed of sharing with you. And as he sang, he let that hope fill the room, weaving through the notes, a quiet, resilient thread that held the promise of brighter days.

Nearly thirty minutes had passed since the group therapy session had officially ended, but Jeongin's office was still filled with the quiet shuffling of his patients gradually making their way out. This wasn't unusual; some of them often lingered, seeking a few more moments to connect or share their thoughts, and Jeongin never minded. He found these moments invaluable—an opportunity to touch base, to offer a final bit of encouragement or reassurance. 

As Jeongin turned to watch the last patient leave, he was surprised to find his friend Changbin leaning against the doorframe. Changbin’s muscular arms were crossed over his broad chest, his eyes twinkling with a mix of admiration and amusement. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and it only grew wider when Jeongin’s gaze finally met his. "Bin," Jeongin greeted with a slight bow, his dimples appearing as he returned his friend's smile. He moved toward his desk on the opposite end of the room, a space that served as both his office and a therapy room within the clinic.

Without waiting for an invitation, Changbin followed him, settling himself comfortably into the leather chair meant for Jeongin. With a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head, Jeongin let out a small huff of amusement at his friend's antics. He took a seat in one of the smaller chairs intended for his patients, his gaze fixed on Changbin. "What are you doing here?" Jeongin finally asked, watching his friend lounging back in the chair, hands interlocked casually behind his head.

Changbin's playful demeanor slowly shifted, his eyes losing their mischievous spark as they settled into something more serious. He sighed, leaning forward to rest his forearms on Jeongin's desk, the sudden shift in atmosphere making Jeongin's heart pick up a little in pace. He tried to keep his expression soft, maintaining a small smile even as he braced himself for whatever Changbin had come to say.

For a moment, the room was filled with a heavy silence as Changbin seemed to struggle with his words, his brows furrowing in thought. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke, "You know how Yongbok and Hannie wanted to have a joint celebration for their birthdays this Friday, right?" Jeongin's brows knit together in confusion; he hadn’t expected such a mundane topic. Still, he nodded, waiting for the real reason behind Changbin's visit.

"Well, everything will be pretty much the same... but we wanted to tell you this before you showed up." Changbin paused, his worried eyes meeting Jeongin's increasingly anxious gaze. After a deep breath, he continued, "Y/N moved back here a little over a week ago and reached out to us almost immediately. We helped them settle back down, and we've been spending some time with them, catching up on everything. Yongbok and Hannie wanted them to be included in their birthday celebration, but we also wanted to check in with you. Make sure you're okay with that first."

Jeongin felt his entire world tilt on its axis, Changbin's words crashing into him like a wave he hadn’t braced for. A million questions stormed through his mind, so fast and furious that he couldn’t quite grasp a single one. "Wait." His hand shot up, signaling his need for a pause as he shifted forward, perching on the edge of his chair. His voice, tinged with betrayal and hurt, spilled out in a rushed breath, "What do you mean Y/N moved back here a week ago? Why am I just learning about this now?"

A look of guilt shadowed Changbin's face, his expression softening with regret. "Y/N asked us not to tell you for a little bit because they weren't ready to handle it yet... but now that everything's settled, they have a new job and everything—Y/N is ready to meet with you if you'd like." He hesitated, and a flicker of panic widened his eyes as he quickly added, "But you didn't hear that last part from me. Y/N wanted to be the one to reach out at some point today or tomorrow."

The silence that followed was heavy, all-consuming, wrapping around Jeongin like a thick fog. He struggled to wrap his mind around the news of your return, the idea of seeing you again so unexpectedly unsettling. The weight of your absence, the questions left unanswered, all resurfaced in that single moment, leaving him adrift in a sea of emotions he wasn’t prepared to face.

Jeongin didn't quite know how to feel about you moving back into town after leaving him without so much as a goodbye. The news of your return stirred a storm of emotions within him, each one more complicated than the last. On one hand, he understood your reasons for leaving—the desperate need to escape from everything that reminded you of your younger sister, Nari, and the weight of your relationship with him, which had grown heavy with grief and unresolved pain. He could see why you had to flee, to distance yourself from the memories that clung to every corner of the town like shadows that wouldn't let you breathe. 

But understanding didn't erase the sting of abandonment. Jeongin couldn't ignore the countless sleepless nights he’d endured, his mind spiraling into an abyss of what-ifs and could-have-beens. He thought back to the moments when your relationship had still felt beautiful and safe, long before it had quietly begun to crumble beneath the weight of tragedy. In truth, he realized, the love between you had started to fray the very moment you received the devastating news of Nari’s fatal accident. It had unraveled slowly, painfully, until there was nothing left but a hollow shell of what once was. By the time he officially ended things, the love you shared had already been gone, replaced by a haunting emptiness.

For months after you left, Jeongin had nearly driven himself to madness, caught in a vicious cycle of regret and self-blame. Every waking moment was spent agonizing over all the different ways he might have pulled you out of your grief. Could he have said something different, done something more? Could he have been more patient, more understanding? He had replayed these thoughts over and over, like a broken record stuck on a painful refrain. There was a time when he couldn’t even look at his own reflection without being reminded of his failure—his inability to be the anchor you needed in the storm of your sorrow. He blamed himself for your sudden departure, believing that if he had fought for you a little harder, if he had held on just a bit longer, maybe things would have turned out differently.

Slowly, though, Jeongin had begun to emerge from the shadows of his own grief. He had started to come to terms with the loss—not just of Nari, whom he had loved deeply through you, but also the loss of the future he had imagined with you by his side. He’d begun to accept that his own heartbreak, mixed with the suffocating weight of guilt, was something he needed to release in order to move forward. Jeongin had finally allowed himself to realize that in the grand scheme of things, staying by your side would have meant losing himself in the process, trying to bring back a version of you that had vanished the day Nari did. He’d come to understand that you were never going to be the same person again, and neither was he.

And now, just when he was starting to find a semblance of peace, you chose this moment to step back into his life. It felt like the ground he had just managed to steady himself on was beginning to shake once more. Jeongin wasn’t sure if he was ready to face you again, to reopen wounds that were only just beginning to scar over. Yet, there was also a flicker of something else—a hope, perhaps, or maybe just curiosity—about what this new chapter could bring. But whatever it was, it left him feeling unsettled, standing on the precipice of a past he had tried so hard to leave behind.

As his mind continued to swirl with a torrent of thoughts, Jeongin was startled by the bitterness that began to simmer beneath the surface of his heart. The resentment was unexpected, an emotion so potent that it almost frightened him. It clawed at him, leaving a sour taste in his mouth, a stark contrast to the calm demeanor he usually carried. But as his gaze lifted, his eyes locked with Changbin's, and he saw the concern etched in his friend's face. The anxiety in Changbin's sincere eyes was unmistakable, quietly tracking the cascade of emotions that flickered across Jeongin's vulnerable features like a storm passing through. 

Despite the sharp sting of betrayal—the feeling of being kept in the dark by his closest friends, who had not only hidden your return from him but also lied to him so they could spend time with you—Jeongin found a small measure of solace in Changbin’s quiet empathy. It was as if Changbin's presence anchored him, a silent reassurance that he wasn’t navigating these turbulent waters alone. In that brief moment, Jeongin’s chaotic thoughts cleared enough for him to take a deep, steadying breath. He slumped back into his chair, his eyes dropping to his sneakers, suddenly feeling the weight of his own exhaustion. His shoulders sagged, heavy with the burden of emotions he could no longer ignore.

"I don’t know if I’ll be ready to meet with Y/N before the party," Jeongin confessed in a low murmur meant only for Changbin’s ears. The sadness in his voice was unmistakable, a raw and tender ache that clung to every word. He took a moment, trying to gather his thoughts that seemed to scatter like leaves in the wind. "But I’m not going to stand in the way of Y/N joining the birthday party—especially since it’s not my place to decide that. I’ll still be there, and I want to be as civil as possible. So, please, don’t let anyone make it more awkward than it needs to be, or I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it."

His voice trembled by the end, his courage wavering as he finally lifted his eyes to meet Changbin's once more. There was a flicker of something fragile there, something almost hopeful, despite the tangled mess of his emotions. Changbin nodded, a soft smile pulling at his lips, a small gesture of gratitude and understanding. He stood up, moving closer to lay a firm, reassuring hand on Jeongin’s shoulder—a rare show of affection, knowing how Jeongin tended to shy away from touch, especially when his emotions were laid bare like this.

"I’ll talk to the boys," Changbin promised, his voice steady, grounding. It was the most he could offer in that moment, aware of how delicate the situation was. 

With that, Changbin turned and quietly exited Jeongin's office, leaving the younger man alone with his thoughts. The room seemed to close in around him, heavy with the weight of everything he was yet to fully comprehend. Jeongin remained seated, lost in the labyrinth of his own complicated emotions—anger, sadness, regret, and something else, something almost like a glimmer of hope—all swirling together in a chaotic dance that he had no idea how to untangle.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

In the three days leading up to the eagerly awaited joint birthday party on Friday—an event hosted by Chan for Felix and Jisung—Jeongin found himself ensnared in a relentless spiral of anxiety and anticipation. The looming prospect of encountering you after nearly a year of absence gnawed at him with a persistence that bordered on torment. He grappled with a thousand imagined scenarios, each one an intricate tapestry of potential outcomes and emotional landmines. The uncertainty was a constant, unsettling presence in his life.

Jeongin’s small apartment, once shared with you, had become a labyrinth of memories and regrets. He often wandered its confines, the soft thud of his footsteps a mournful echo of the unease that had taken residence in his chest. The apartment seemed to sigh with each step he took, as if mourning the lost echoes of a time when you had been there. Despite his efforts to bury himself in work, the thought of you lingered like an unwelcome shadow, a constant undercurrent that refused to be ignored. He would catch himself staring at his phone, repeatedly re-reading the message you had sent him just hours after Changbin’s visit—a message that had become both a lifeline and a tormentor.

Your text, which read: 

Hey, Jeongin. It’s been a while. I know I left without much of an explanation and cut off contact... I’m sorry for how I handled things. I’m sorry for a lot of things, actually. But I wasn’t in the best place back then, and I needed time to figure things out on my own. I’m back in town now, and I’d like to talk sometime if you’re open to it. No pressure—I just feel like there are a lot of things that were left unsaid between us. Take care!

Every time Jeongin read these words, a storm of emotions would churn within him. The initial formality of your greeting felt like a cold draft from a distant past, a stark contrast to the warmth that had once existed between you. The passage of time loomed large, a reminder of the endless stretch of days that had passed since your sudden disappearance. He was struck by a poignant blend of nostalgia and pain, the abruptness of your departure a constant reminder of how unfinished your story had been.

Your apology, though a balm of sorts, stirred a complicated mix of relief and frustration within him. On one hand, it acknowledged the hurt you had caused, but on the other, it left a multitude of unresolved questions hanging in the air. Why did you leave so suddenly? Why did you sever all contact? Jeongin understood that you were not in a good place and needed space, but that understanding did little to soothe the sting of abandonment he felt. The sense of being left in the dark, coupled with a profound sadness over his inability to help you, left him grappling with a blend of guilt and anger.

The mention of wanting to talk now jolted him, a surge of conflicting emotions rushing to the surface. He was torn between the desire to reconnect and the fear of reopening old wounds. The prospect of addressing the myriad of things left unsaid between you brought with it a flood of memories—regrets, unresolved issues, and a yearning for closure. Each re-reading of your message plunged him deeper into a whirlpool of complicated thoughts and emotions, the turbulence of his feelings both paralyzing and consuming.

Ultimately, Jeongin found himself unable to craft a suitable response, and so he chose silence. His decision not to reply was one shrouded in uncertainty, a choice that left him questioning whether it was the right one. The silence that followed was both a refuge and a torment, a delicate balance between preserving his own peace and the unresolved echo of your return.

The night of the party arrived under a canopy of crisp, clear sky, the stars shimmering with an almost mocking brilliance. Jeongin drifted through the evening like a specter, his senses overwhelmed by a world that seemed too bright, too noisy, and far too indifferent to his turmoil. His apartment, once a sanctuary, had become a chaotic jumble of discarded outfits—each one cast aside with a frustrated sigh and a sense of resignation. The fabric of his clothes lay strewn about like the remnants of a battle fought and lost against his own anxiety. Nothing felt right, and the more he tried, the more he was convinced that nothing ever would.

Eventually, he settled on a modest ensemble—simple, unobtrusive, and devoid of any hint of personal flair. As he dressed, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror, and what he saw was a stranger staring back—an image of confusion and trepidation. He attempted a smile, one that was supposed to be confident and reassuring, but it fell flat, a mere shadow of what he hoped to project. By the time he arrived at Chan's place, his nerves were a live wire, sparking and fizzing with every heartbeat.

The apartment, already abuzz with the lively hum of music and the warm murmur of laughter, was suffused with the rich, inviting aroma of a feast. Jeongin took a deep breath, steeling himself before stepping into the vibrant chaos. Felix, ever the beacon of warmth, was the first to greet him. His smile was a radiant crescent, eyes sparkling with the playful twinkle of a galaxy etched upon his cheeks and nose. Felix enveloped Jeongin in a tight, enthusiastic hug, and Jeongin could almost gauge the number of drinks Felix had indulged in by the exuberance of the embrace. As he disentangled himself from the fervent welcome, he was met with a slew of half-hidden concern and reassuring smiles that nearly suffocated him with their well-meaning pity.

He made his way to the kitchen, where the counter was a tableau of gifts—boxes and bags for Felix and Han piled high in cheerful disarray. Jeongin added his own contribution to the heap and then sought refuge in the cool solace of the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water to soothe his parched throat. But then, as if fate itself had conspired to make this night even more unbearable, you appeared in the kitchen doorway.

You had been laughing lightly, a melodic sound that seemed to dance on the air, but upon spotting Jeongin, you froze mid-step. The sight of you was like a flash of brilliance in an otherwise dim landscape. You looked as radiant as ever, with a glimmer of the light that had once illuminated your eyes returning to them—a light Jeongin had once lost himself in with reckless abandon. At that moment, the gravity of his own emotions hit him with a brutal clarity. Despite having ended the relationship, he realized with a heavy heart that he was still desperately, achingly in love with you. Even after nearly a year of separation, the feelings remain undiminished.

You slowly composed yourself, though your body remained taut with the remnants of surprise. The smile you gave him was both disarming and electrifying, sending a shiver through him. With a polite bow, you greeted him, your voice soft and warm as you said, “I’m really glad to see you again, Jeongin.” The way you spoke his name made his knees feel weak, the sheer depth of his longing crystallizing in that single, familiar sound. He had not fully grasped how much he had yearned to hear his name on your lips again until that very moment.

Unable to find words, Jeongin merely bowed in return, his smile shy and tremulous. He watched you turn and leave the kitchen with a hurried pace, your earlier purpose forgotten. The realization dawned on him that he might need more than just water to navigate the emotional maelstrom of the evening.

Chan's party was a sanctuary of familiarity, a gathering of a close-knit circle of friends who had weathered years together. The night had unfolded in a haze of laughter and lively banter, and now, as Jeongin found himself pleasantly intoxicated from the endless rounds of drinking games, he couldn't help but revel in the camaraderie that had once again enveloped the room. It felt undeniably comforting to have everyone gathered under one roof again, especially you.

The past year had cast a shadow over the group's dynamic, your absence an unspoken void that lingered between them, palpable despite the silence. Yet now, with your return, the room seemed to breathe with a renewed vitality. It was as though the very air had shifted, carrying with it a sense of ease that had been sorely missed. Jeongin observed you from a distance, his gaze drawn to you as you reengaged with the group. He noted with quiet awe how you moved through conversations with an effortless grace, the same grace that had once been your hallmark.

It was apparent that you had emerged from the clutches of your grief, a revelation that stirred a profound admiration within Jeongin. The way you laughed, genuinely and freely, was a testament to your resilience. Though you had left without a word, seeking solace far away, you had returned with a newfound lightness. The laughter that now danced from your lips was a melody Jeongin had missed, a balm for the aching absence that had haunted him throughout the past year.

Jeongin watched with a bittersweet smile as you engaged with everyone—how your eyes crinkled at the corners when joy sparked within you, how they would occasionally meet his gaze with a fleeting, shy acknowledgment before darting away, leaving behind a gentle blush. Each moment was a delicate brush stroke on the canvas of your reunion, painting a picture of someone who had found a way to heal and reconnect.

The sight of you dancing playfully with Han to a song you both claimed had been crafted just for you was particularly poignant. Your movements were a symphony of carefree delight, a stark contrast to the somber image Jeongin had harbored of you. In these shared, joyful moments, as you reintegrated into the tapestry of old friendships, Jeongin felt his heart tugged with an intensity that defied explanation.

Though the effects of alcohol swirled around him, amplifying emotions and blurring the edges of reality, Jeongin knew that the depth of his feelings for you transcended any inebriation. The love he harbored was as real and potent as ever, a force that no amount of alcohol could replicate or diminish. He was falling for you once more, each glance and shared laugh reaffirming the connection that had never truly faded, only waiting for the right moment to reawaken.

Despite the undeniable truth of his lingering affection for you, Jeongin remained uncertain of how to navigate these turbulent emotions. For now, he chose to keep his feelings veiled in silence, retreating into the solitude of his thoughts. The haze of confusion was abruptly dispelled by the firm, reassuring weight of Minho’s hand settling on his shoulder, grounding him in the present moment.

Minho, his eyes glazed with the soft blur of alcohol—though not nearly as intoxicated as Felix and Han—clapped his hands together, a signal for attention. His voice, amplified by cupped hands, cut through the ambient noise of music and conversation. "Guys! Guys!" he bellowed, drawing the attention of the increasingly inebriated crowd. The room fell into a collective hush, eager eyes fixed on Minho as he continued with a grin that spoke of mischief. "As per Yongbok’s request, we’re about to kick off a game of UNO! But there’s a twist: every time someone lands a Plus Four card, we all take a shot. And the loser—well, they get a revolting concoction of mixed alcohols and juices!"

The announcement ignited a burst of enthusiastic cheers, the crowd’s energy crackling with anticipation. Laughter and playful shoves accompanied the clumsy shuffle to the circular coffee table at the heart of the living room. Jeongin, with a flicker of hope in his heart, watched as you navigated the sea of friends. His wish to have you beside him was met with a hint of disappointment as you chose a seat directly across from him, nestled between Hyunjin and Seungmin.

The seating arrangement became a familiar circle of camaraderie and chaos: You directly across from Jeongin, Seungmin to your right, Chan to Seungmin’s right, Felix to Chan’s right, Jeongin to Felix’s right, Minho to Jeongin’s right, Han to Minho’s right, Changbin to Hyunjin’s right, and Hyunjin bridging the gap between you and Changbin. The table soon overflowed with the raucous sound of drunken laughter, mischievous plotting, and playful bickering.

Jeongin found himself in an unexpected streak of triumph, his luck seemingly endless as he conquered each round of UNO. The others began to whisper suspicions of cheating, their playful accusations accompanied by slurred speech and tipsy frustration. Chan’s voice, tinged with exasperation, rose above the din. "How is it even possible that you’ve been winning non-stop?" he demanded, his words distorted by a chorus of drinks and Seungmin’s relentless strategy.

Jeongin rolled his eyes, a gesture that had become almost automatic in the face of such claims. Han, who had just suffered the fate of the foul concoction, gagged dramatically as he placed the empty cup down with a groan. The room’s attention shifted to you as you slammed your palm onto the table, a spark of mischief lighting up your eyes. The gesture was a beacon of playful challenge, and it made Jeongin’s heart flutter unexpectedly.

"Stand up then, if you’re not cheating," you teased, your voice laced with both suspicion and amusement. The room buzzed with agreement, and Jeongin could not suppress the smile that tugged at his lips as he rose to his feet. He had sobered somewhat since the game began, the action feeling less consequential for him than for the others.

Throughout the night, the games were interspersed with moments of easy banter between you and Jeongin, a reminder of the lighthearted days before the heartache had set in. Each playful remark, every shared glance, and the way you laughed at his jokes tugged at him, rekindling memories of warmth and affection. The realization of how deeply he missed the feeling of being in love with you clenched his heart painfully.

As Jeongin turned around slowly to prove his hands were empty, he couldn’t resist a smirk. "You didn’t empty out your pockets," you persisted, your stubbornness both charming and exasperating.

He met your gaze with a playful smirk of his own, the words slipping out before he could fully process their impact. "Come on, baby, don’t be like that," he said, his tone teasing.

The room fell silent in stunned unison, the playful atmosphere abruptly shifting to one of surprise and second-hand embarrassment. The weight of Jeongin’s unintended endearment hung in the air, leaving everyone, including him, to grapple with the sudden shift in the night’s delicate balance.

Jeongin’s heart sank as he watched the color drain from your face, a pallor of shock and disbelief that spoke volumes in the charged silence that followed. The name he had unintentionally let slip—a relic of a time when you were together—seemed to strike a chord deep within you. For a fleeting moment, your eyes revealed a heartache that cut through the pretense of composure you so desperately tried to maintain. The expression of hurt was almost palpable, like a silent scream against the fabric of the night.

You managed to reassemble yourself with a stubborn facade of mischief, your smile a delicate mask that barely concealed the storm within. Your words, though laced with playful banter, seemed to cut through the tension with a sharp edge. "I just think it's unnatural how many times you’ve won," you remarked with a smirk that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Jeongin’s slip-up hung in the air, a tangible weight that seemed to sour the atmosphere of the gathering. Despite your attempt to downplay the incident with a light-hearted quip, the sting of the old nickname echoed like a ghost of past intimacy, making the room feel suddenly foreign and strained. The previously buoyant mood had shifted, leaving behind an undercurrent of unease that neither the laughter nor the playful jabs could dispel.

Jeongin could feel the churning turmoil within him, his heart pounding relentlessly in his chest. The game continued around him, but he found himself withdrawing, purposefully avoiding your gaze. Each stolen glance, each forced smile, was a reminder of the painful reminder of how things had changed. The night, which had started with such promise, now felt heavy and laden with unresolved emotions.

As the hour grew late and the laughter waned, the group, sensing the shift in energy, collectively decided it was time to call it a night. The revelry that had marked the evening dissolved into a subdued murmur as everyone prepared to leave. For Jeongin, the end of the night came as a relief, though it was tinged with a sense of lingering regret and an unspoken wish for things to be different.

As Jeongin made his way through the dimly lit apartment, exchanging farewells with the departing guests, he caught a fleeting glimpse of you darting out of the building. His heart, already heavy with a tumultuous mix of emotions, quickened its pace as he instinctively sought to follow. With an urgency driven by both concern and an aching need to make things right, Jeongin scrambled to retrieve his jacket and pull on his shoes, the night air already beginning to bite at his skin as he hurried after you.

He managed to intercept you just as you stepped out onto the cold street. Your name slipped from his lips before he could catch it, a desperate utterance that hung in the frosty air between you. You paused, your breath visible in the night’s chill, and both of you stood there for a moment, hearts racing in unison. Jeongin's breath came in ragged bursts as he caught up with you, the weight of his impulsive actions settling heavily on his shoulders.

“Let me walk you home,” Jeongin implored, his voice trembling slightly with a mixture of anxiety and hope. The words, simple yet laden with his longing, seemed to hang in the air, as though the night itself held its breath in anticipation of your response. Your eyes softened, reflecting a tempest of emotions as they met his, and your lips parted slightly as if struggling to find the right words.

Instead of speaking, you turned and began walking forward, your steps deliberate yet hesitant. Jeongin, interpreting your silence as tacit consent, fell into step beside you. The street stretched out before you, unfamiliar and shadowed, and the air between you was charged with unspoken sentiments and lingering regrets. Walking side by side felt oddly reminiscent of days gone by, a bittersweet echo of times shared with friends, now tinged with the ache of what had been lost.

In the week since Jeongin learned of your return, he had been trapped in a cycle of conflicting emotions. The pangs of missing you, of realizing the depth of his feelings that still burned despite everything, battled with the frustration of your unexplained departure. Each time anger threatened to overwhelm him, guilt swiftly followed, a reminder of the suffering you must have endured. His internal struggle was a storm of longing and resentment, a turbulent sea he had yet to navigate.

As he stole glances at your profile in the dim streetlight, the familiar contours of your face brought an unexpected rush of grief. Memories of your younger sister, Nari, flooded his mind—her laughter, a joyful sound that once filled the air, her enthusiastic embraces that had always greeted him with warmth. Your eyes, once so bright with shared mirth, now seemed dimmed by her absence.

The realization that Nari would never again tackle him in playful greeting, that her laughter would never again ring out, was a heavy burden. It pressed down on Jeongin’s heart, a reminder of the irreplaceable void left behind. The twinkle that once danced in your eyes when you laughed at Nari's jokes was now a distant memory, a reminder of how deeply her loss had affected both of you. As you walked together through the unfamiliar streets, the weight of these lost joys seemed to bear down on Jeongin, making each step feel heavier than the last.

Engulfed in the whirlpool of his own somber reflections, Jeongin barely noticed when you came to a halt before an old, weathered apartment building. Absorbed in his tumultuous thoughts, he continued forward for a few steps, his mind adrift in a sea of regret and longing. It was only when the melodic sound of your giggle reached his ears, a playful echo that cut through the fog of his melancholy, that he realized he was walking alone. With a start, he turned, his face flushing with a sheepish smile as he moved to stand before you.

You were standing there, your knuckles clenched tightly around the strap of your bag, a telltale sign of the anxiety simmering beneath the surface. Your lips were caught between your teeth, a nervous habit that Jeongin had come to know all too well. The sight of your distress mirrored his own internal turmoil, causing his foot to tap restlessly on the pavement as he waited for you to speak. The tension in the air was palpable, a heavy shroud that seemed to settle between you.

After a few moments of strained silence, you released a shaky breath and offered him a small, timid smile. "It was good to see you again," you said softly, the words tinged with a trace of the anxiety that laced your voice. It was the same sentiment you had voiced earlier in the night, when you had first reappeared in Chan's kitchen after an eight-month absence.

This time, Jeongin’s response came with a gravity that reflected the depth of your absence. "I’m glad you came back," he said, his voice carrying the weight of the months spent apart, yet softened by a flicker of genuine contentment.

Your smile, though hesitant, shone brightly against the backdrop of the night. It was a beacon that pierced through the haze of Jeongin’s heartache, and despite the unresolved tension, he couldn’t help but return it with a warm, albeit uncertain, smile of his own. The air between you crackled with the weight of unspoken words and unresolved feelings, a delicate balance between the urge to bridge the gap and the inability to articulate the depth of your emotions.

As you cast an awkward glance back at the entrance of your apartment, Jeongin understood that you were grappling with the same indecision that plagued him. "This is me," you said, your voice betraying a trace of nervousness as you cleared your throat. "My place is a bit of a distance from our—sorry, your apartment. If you’re comfortable, I can offer you my couch for the night."

Despite the initial reluctance that had gripped him, the prospect of spending more time with you, however fleeting, was too inviting to resist. Jeongin found himself smiling softly, a gesture of acceptance that was both hesitant and heartfelt. Your genuine, wide smile in response seemed to illuminate the night, lifting the veil of uncertainty that had surrounded him. With a renewed sense of hope and a lingering trace of longing, Jeongin followed you inside, each step towards your apartment a tentative step towards mending the fragile thread that connected your hearts.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Your new apartment, though modest in size, exudes a quiet charm, nestled in a serene part of town far removed from the familiar streets you once traversed with Jeongin. The moment he crosses the threshold, he is enveloped by a dissonance of emotions—a strange fusion of comfort and estrangement. The space is distinctly different from the apartment you once shared, yet your presence lingers in every corner, making Jeongin feel both intimately connected and like an outsider peering into a world that has shifted just out of reach.

The living room, modestly furnished, reflects a minimalist elegance. A soft, neutral-colored couch rests against the wall, draped with a knitted throw blanket that adds a touch of warmth. This room is a far cry from the eclectic mix of your past home—a space once filled with a vibrant blend of your belongings and his—but it still bears the subtle imprint of your personality. A small shelf brims with books, many titles familiar from your old collection, but new ones have also appeared, whispering of the changes and growth you’ve experienced in your absence. The windowsill cradles a few houseplants, their greenery a delicate contrast to the sprawling flora that once filled your old living space. They are smaller, more contained, reflecting a more subdued chapter of your life.

Jeongin’s gaze drifts to the walls, bare and unadorned, stark in their emptiness. Gone are the framed photos and art prints that once animated every corner of your shared apartment. The absence of pictures—particularly those of the two of you—leaves an unexpected sting, a painful reminder of what has been left behind. Instead, there is a single framed photograph of your younger sister on a side table by the window, surrounded by a cluster of candles. It stands as a quiet tribute, a poignant memorial that tugs at Jeongin’s heartstrings, reminding him of the grief that ultimately drove a wedge between you both.

The apartment is imbued with a subdued quietness, a stark contrast to the lively energy of your former home, where laughter and soft music once intertwined to create a vibrant ambiance. Here, the atmosphere is more solitary, introspective, as if the space has been intentionally crafted as a sanctuary for healing—a refuge from the chaos of the past. A small kitchen table, cluttered with a few empty glasses and a half-read book, suggests many solitary evenings spent with your thoughts, lost in the pages or gazing into the distance, ensnared by memories.

The kitchen itself bears no evidence of the late-night culinary adventures you used to drag him into, those joyous moments of laughter and flour-covered countertops. As Jeongin takes in the scene, he is overwhelmed by a complex weave of emotions—nostalgia for what was, sorrow for what has been lost, and a poignant ache for the version of you who now stands before him. The differences are striking, revealing a careful, deliberate solitude you’ve constructed around yourself in this new space. It feels as though you’ve created a bubble of tranquility, a place where you can breathe freely from the weight of the past, and he wonders if there is still a place for him within it or if you have moved on to a new chapter without him.

The emptiness of your new apartment weighs heavily on him. It’s not merely the physical void but the absence of the vibrant, unfiltered you that he used to know. Standing there, a guest in what might have been his world, Jeongin is acutely aware of how much has changed and how deeply he still yearns for the comfort of what once was, now replaced by the stark reality of what is.

As Jeongin steps into your new apartment, he takes in its subtle details with a blend of curiosity and nostalgia. You move about with a quiet, almost anxious energy, as if the mere act of tidying is a way to manage the fluttering tension between you. Your hands, unsure of their purpose, engage in small, inconsequential tasks: smoothing the corner of the knitted blanket draped over the couch, adjusting the book that rests on the kitchen table, and shifting a houseplant slightly to the left. It is evident that you are aware of his gaze, but you strive to give him space to absorb his surroundings.

The silence stretches until you break it, your voice soft yet resolute. "It's not much, but... it's mine." There’s a delicate balance in your tone, a mixture of pride laced with vulnerability. You glance at him, seeking to gauge his reaction, your eyes reflecting a world of untold emotions. As you move towards the small kitchen area, you open a cabinet and retrieve two glasses. "Do you want some water? Tea? I think I have some wine if you'd prefer that." Your words tumble out in a gentle stream, an attempt to fill the quiet with something tangible, yet they carry an earnestness that reveals your underlying uncertainty about where you both stand.

Jeongin watches you, his gaze softening as he observes the careful grace of your movements—each gesture imbued with a quiet protectiveness, as if you're safeguarding something tender within yourself. The silence deepens for a moment before he responds, his voice subdued and tentative. "Water's fine." It is clear that he is navigating this new terrain with caution, his tone reflective of the delicate balance between past familiarity and present distance. You nod and move towards the fridge, your back turned to him as you pour the water.

Jeongin’s eyes wander around the apartment once more, deliberately avoiding the back of your head as you focus on the task at hand. When you hand him the glass, your fingers brush against his, sending a shiver through him. It’s a sensation he’s not quite accustomed to after all this time apart. He accepts the glass with a quiet "thanks," savoring the cool water as it soothes his dry throat. 

"Let’s sit," you suggest, motioning towards the couch. There is a steadiness in your voice that carries a quiet confidence, reminiscent of the times you had managed to ground him amidst the chaos. Jeongin follows you and settles beside you on the couch. The cushions feel foreign and different from those he remembers, amplifying his sense of longing for the comfort of the home you once shared. 

For a brief moment, Jeongin is at a loss for words, overwhelmed by the tangled emotions in his chest. He is unsure where to begin, but you gently ease the tension. "How’s work been?" you inquire, your voice a soothing balm to the heaviness in the room. "Are you still at the same clinic?" 

Grateful for the opening, Jeongin nods. "Yeah, still there. We started a new program recently... working with kids who've been through some really tough stuff. It’s been challenging, but rewarding." He watches as your eyes soften, a sign of the empathy and kindness he’s always admired in you. The sight of your genuine smile, the one he’s missed so dearly, is like a balm on a wound that has long ached. 

"That sounds so nice. You've always been so good with children." Your compliment is heartfelt, and Jeongin feels a pang of longing.

He responds with a light-hearted joke, "That’s more your area of expertise," referring to your work as a school counselor. You chuckle softly, taking a sip of water, and Jeongin senses there’s more you wish to share.

"And... what about everything else? How have you been holding up?" Your question is gentle but probing, and Jeongin’s grip tightens around his glass.

"It’s been... different," he admits. "The apartment feels empty without you there. Like something’s missing."

Jeongin hadn't intended for his words to emerge with such raw intensity, but they tumble out before he can rein them in. He watches as they land upon you, the way your gaze falls and a shadow of sorrow flits across your face. "I'm sorry," you murmur, the words almost lost in the quiet of the room. "For leaving like that. I didn’t know what else to do."

Your apology strikes a chord deep within him, a resonance of shared pain and regret. "I know," he replies softly, his voice carrying the weight of understanding. "I don’t really blame you. We both had to figure things out." The atmosphere between you shifts, the earlier tension giving way to something more tender—like an old wound beginning to mend. 

Jeongin sits beside you on the couch, his nerves stretched taut, a wire humming with unspoken words. His hands are clenched in his lap, a desperate attempt to hold himself together as the silence stretches, thick and heavy. His gaze is drawn to you, to the way you hold your glass of water—fingers wrapped around it as if it were a lifeline, anchoring you to some semblance of normalcy. 

He recognizes that look in your eyes—the one that signals you are about to reveal something profound, something that has been weighing on you. "When I left," you start, your voice so faint it nearly dissolves into the air. Jeongin’s breath catches in his throat. He had no clear expectations for the evening, but he can feel that whatever is coming will be laced with pain.

"I didn’t really have a plan," you continue, your voice trembling with the weight of your confession. "I just... needed to get away." He watches as your eyes drift to the water in your glass, your reflection shimmering and distorted. The impulse to reach out and offer comfort is almost overwhelming, but he remains still, his focus entirely on you.

"I ended up halfway across the country," you say, your voice gaining a faint thread of strength. "I reached out to Lily. You remember her, right? From college?" Jeongin nods, a wistful smile tugging at his lips despite the ache in his chest. He recalls Lily’s vivacious spirit, her constant care for you, and feels a pang of gratitude that she was there for you in a way he couldn't be.

"She didn’t ask questions; she just told me to come," you add. Jeongin’s heart clenches at the image of you in a strange, distant place, the weight of your grief looming like an oppressive storm. He loathes the thought of you feeling so alone and adrift, needing to travel so far for solace.

"She lives in this tiny coastal town," you continue, your voice lightening slightly as you recall the memory. "For a while, I thought maybe that was what I needed—being somewhere far away from everything." Jeongin can almost visualize it—a serene seaside town where the waves gently erase footprints, a place where time seems to stretch indefinitely, offering a balm for the wounded soul.

Yet, beneath the surface of your words, Jeongin senses an undercurrent of dissatisfaction. The coastal retreat, while soothing, evidently fell short of the healing you sought. His heart aches, burdened by the realization that he wasn’t able to provide the support you needed, even as he too was grappling with his own struggles. The distance between your shared past and the present feels vast, and he yearns for a way to bridge that gap, to be the anchor you needed, even though he was floundering himself.

You pause, and Jeongin watches as you swallow hard, the movement of your throat a testament to the weight of your words. "I eventually realized that it wasn't enough," you say, your voice trembling with the effort to hold back tears. "I needed more help. So, I checked myself into a grief recovery program..." The words falter, and Jeongin feels a tightening in his chest, the emotion reflected in your wavering tone. "A place where people go when they've lost someone and don't know how to keep living."

He stares at you, his vision blurring as he grapples with the magnitude of your suffering. He's known grief, but seeing it through your eyes—so raw, so utterly consuming—is a new experience for him. Guilt crashes over him like a relentless wave. He wasn't there for you. He couldn't help. He didn't even know how to begin.

Jeongin opens his mouth, an apology poised on his lips, but you continue, your voice cutting through the silence with a quiet determination. "There were days I wanted to leave, but I stayed. I wrote a lot. I planted a small garden there, just to feel like I was nurturing something again, you know? And slowly, I started to remember things without feeling like they were completely breaking me."

His hands tremble in his lap, the truth of your words stirring a deep regret within him. He should be happy that you found a way forward, relieved that you began to heal, but instead, he is overwhelmed by the ache of not being there for you—by the realization that he had abandoned you when you needed him most. His eyes search yours, desperate for some sign that you don’t harbor hatred towards him.

"I can't imagine what that must've been like," he finally manages, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I ended things when you needed me. I didn’t know how to help you through it, and I—"

You shake your head, a wistful smile curving your lips. "I didn’t know how to let you help me, either. And I wasn’t ready to accept Nari’s death and move on yet. That’s why I left." Your words settle into the spaces between his ribs, a cold weight pressing heavily on his chest. He wants to explain, to tell you that he was lost too, that he struggled to keep his own head above water while watching you drown. But he stays silent, knowing that this moment belongs to you, just as much as it does to him.

"I needed to find a way to live with the grief," you say softly, "to not let it define every part of me. And maybe I needed to see if I could come back and face everything, including you."

Jeongin’s heart skips at that, a flicker of hope igniting within him. There is a softness in your eyes that he hasn't seen in so long, a hint of something that almost resembles hope. He takes a breath, feeling a slight loosening of the weight of his own regrets. "I'm glad you did," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. "I missed you—missed this, even if it wasn’t always easy."

You nod, and he sees a myriad of emotions dance across your face—relief, uncertainty, and perhaps the faintest trace of affection. There is much to unpack, many layers to explore, but for now, this moment of quiet honesty, of shared pain and cautious hope, feels like a tentative step towards understanding.

Jeongin notices his hand is closer to yours than he had realized, and for a fleeting moment, he wonders what it would be like to reach out, to touch your skin once more. But he doesn’t. Not yet. For now, he is content to sit beside you, to listen, and to cherish the hope that this—whatever it is—might be the beginning of finding each other again.

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🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS!

can i walk you home?

5.5

warnings food mentions, mention of a bet

ciwyh masterlist next

note i try to make time stamps make sense

can i walk you home?

6. shots anyone?

warnings allusions to drinking, picture of alcohol, mentions of being sick (like a cold), han being a liar

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note han is a liar, jeongin let him borrow a hat once

can i walk you home?

7. [redacted] walked by

warnings lots of alcohol drinking talk, food mention, lia threatens to beat up han multiple times

ciwyh masterlist bonus next

taglist @peterparkoure

can i walk you home?

8. accidental late night studio session

warnings food mention, getting stood up

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taglist @peterparkoure @uno7 @chaotickyrith @napalmskiez

can i walk you home?

9.5

warnings worried taehyun and chan, taehyun teasing reader about smelling

ciwyh masterlist next

taglist @peterparkoure @bangchansbae @chaotickyrith @napalmskiez @john-joong

can i walk you home?

10. momo and mina’s match making

warnings talk of reader being self conscious, talk of ex-fling, a curse word if you consider hell a curse word

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taglist @peterparkoure @bangchansbae @chaotickyrith @napalmskiez @john-joong @phtogravi

can i walk you home?

11. it’s a date

warnings jung coming on very strong and a subtle innuendo

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taglist @peterparkoure @bangchansbae @chaotickyrith @napalmskiez @john-joong @phtogravi @nyasstars @httphans

can i walk you home?

12. ayo new gender just dropped

warnings cursing, reader is very anxious and snaps at taehyung

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taglist @peterparkoure @bangchansbae @chaotickyrith @napalmskiez @john-joong @phtogravi @nyasstars @httphans @hello-2-u-from-me

can i walk you home?

14. if people let you down

warnings cursing, reader discussing insecurity

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taglist @peterparkoure @bangchansbae @chaotickyrith @napalmskiez @john-joong @phtogravi @nyasstars @httphans @hello-2-u-from-me @punkhazardlaw

can i walk you home?

15. okay but was he nice?

warnings nothing i think but let me know

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can i walk you home?

16. puppy day

warnings food, dogs

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A guide to falling for a traitor 101

"He's watching us, isn't he?" You ask not making the mistake of making eye contact with the camera that's at the corner of the room.

"So what?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Can you switch it off?"

Pairing: Yang Jeongin x afab!reader (implied past Bang Chan x Reader)

Word count: 1.9k

Genre: Crime, mafia au, eventual romance

Warnings: general 'mafia' stuff, knives, (this has remnants of my wattpad phase in quite a few parts but we all need some cringe sometimes so it's fine... i guess. But I honestly cannot re-read and edit this one more time so I'm just posting now since someone asked so nicely)

Synopsis: You finally got to know who the mysterious traitor was in Bang Chan's gang. Now you just have to find out why he was one in the first place.

Bang Chan was a lot of things. But the one thing he wasn't was a liar. Specially not to his own allies. So when he said that his rival gang was treading his territories in the monthly alliance meeting, you believed him. Unlike most of the other leaders who still needed 'evidence' to do something about it. But honestly they were too scared to actually have a direct rivalry with Chan's rival gang. Again, unlike you but not for the reason most might think of.

You didn't have undying loyalty towards Chan or his gang or anyone to be honest. Call it shallow or whatever but you just couldn't give a single fuck about majority of the members of your gang with only one or two exceptions. Maybe you were a bad leader in the sense that you couldn't even remember the name of your own bodyguard. But you were a damn good leader in the sense that you'll always win. No matter what. You didn't have any 'rival' gangs because you knew there was something or rather, someone, like in this case of use. In your opinion, qualities like loyalty, trust, blah blah were all overrated. You'd rather have someone skilled than trustworthy which was exactly why you needed Chan and his other major members but specifically, one of them.

"I agree with Mr. Bang." You say quietly while looking at the other gang leaders who sat the huge table in Chan's mansion.

"But Ms-" One of the leaders started before you rudely cut him off because he had been getting on your nerves since the moment you entered the room. You were extremely observant, kind of came with the job. So you had noticed him looking at your chest more times than necessary. Specifically the ruby jewel necklace, (that you had stolen from him but who cared) that sat just atop your cleavage that was just slightly visible in the simple black dress you opted for. It had a slightly deep neckline and a slit near the thigh. Where a knife garter could be seen. Yeah you liked to look good in meetings and what about it?

"If that's all we have for today, can we leave?" You questioned while only looking at Chan, giving him the perfect moment to kick these assholes out.

"Yeah of course. Changbin, please escort these distinguished folks out." He said, politness dripping off his voice. Most would think he was respecting them by sending Changbin to show them out. Thing is, he was doing so, so that no on could look at anything longer than necessary or try to go here and there in the mansion to find things they weren't supposed to. Something you would be doing today. When everyone except you and Chan had left, you finally got up from you seat to walk towards him.

"You're still here? Ms-" you cut him off, something you couldn't do in a room full of people but now it was just you two.

"Cut the bullshit Chan." You rolled your eyes at him, again something you couldn't do while everyone else was present.

"Ugh fine. What do you want? I've got work to do." He finally said in his casual voice that was not as cold and distant yet held a politness to it. "And you've got to stop staying here until everyone else has gone or else they'll get the wrong idea."

"What wrong idea are you talking about, Chan? And would they really be wrong to think about something that has already happened?" You say while tracing the silver chain he was wearing around his neck.

"Oh my God it was one time alright? And we were drunk. Can you stop bringing it up? Get over it." He replied while holding your wrist to stop you from doing what you were doing.

"Oh please, there wasn't even anything to get over Bang. You know I don't do other leaders."

"Anymore. Since that one clan guy remember? The one who was the leader of a Yakuza and tried to make you sign a marriage agreement when you were drunk, to take your place." He almost laughed while recalling the incident.

"Can we not talk about that fucking asshole?" You gritted your teeth at him for bringing up past that you'd rather forget.

"Ooh someone's bitter." He teased with a grin.

"Fuck you." You rolled your eyes at him again.

"Are you really here to discuss your past failed relationships or to flirt with me though? I reckon you've got better things to do. So what do you want?" He finally got to the point.

"I want to meet that pharmacist kid you've got." You stated the reason you actually stayed here for.

"You do know that Jeongin is like a few months younger than you right?" Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"And?" You asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Why do you want to meet him anyways?" He questioned.

"Because my pharmacist died. And I need an arsenic trioxide injection."

"Wait how did he die?" He asked.

"Heart attack."

"Oh the irony. Alright. Just leave that knife here." He gestured towards the garter on your thigh.

"Chill. I'm not here to murder someone."

"Safety precautions." He shrugged.

"Fine." You say while taking out the knife from the garter. "But do you really think this is the only knife I've got?"

"No. I know both of your heels have knives in them too. And that pin you're wearing in your hair. And-"

"Okay, okay. I get it. You're the all knowing, all mighty Chris. Whatever. Do I have to take all of this off too?"

"No it's fine. I just liked the one you had in your garter. It's mine now right?" He twisted the knife between his fingers swiftly.

"As if I've got a choice. But just so you know, that knife is the last thing my mother left before dying."

"Oh I didn't know that I'm s-"

"I'm kidding. As if I could ever care about whatever that woman left. Now I'll get going to meet your kid." You start to walk away from his office.

"Wait 'til Changbin gets back." He called out.

"Jeez I'm not going anywhere else. I know you've got camera footages in your office. And I know your mansion enough by now to find that kid." You looked back at him.

"Fine then. Just take the lift by the way.”

"You... installed a lift in your house?" You asked incredulously.

"I didn't okay! It was Jisung's idea. Said he couldn't climb stairs everyday after sitting in a chair for hours. That it was affecting his hacking skills or whatever."

"You've got weird members dude." You say before taking off to meet the person you came to meet.

You take the ridiculously expensive lift (like seriously did it need to be silver plated? Fucking show offs) to go down to the basement where you know the kid genius' lab resides. You open the door that looks like it could belong to a bunker tank. And then you finally see him. The one who've been waiting to see for a few months now since you got that piece of information.

Yang Jeongin. Science prodigy. Passed high school at age 11 and graduated at 14. Could be seen in newspapers and tv shows in those 3 years freuqently. Winning international intellectual debates against some of the greatest scientists arguably. And then, missing. One day at 16. Out of nowhere. Police carried out the investigation for 5 years until they had to drop it due to lack of evidence and progress. How he got into this fucked up underground world from a world of glory and fame that awaited him up there, no one knows. He was a genius. Someone you didn't see often in the field of work you're in.

You see him working with test tubes and vials containing chemicals of different colours. The room itself is pretty dark with the only source of light being a small bulb that hangs above his head. You can even see some chemicals glowing. He's wearing transparent safety googles, a pair of expensive industrial ear muffs and of course, his signature lab coat. He looks concentrated on the task which was apparently mixing chemicals here and there. He suddenly stops before mixing two chemicals he had been working on since you came here and puts the tubes in the holder. Removing his muffs and ruffling his hair that had gotten messy due to them. And then you finally here his voice.

"Arsenic trioxide, 10ml to your right." He says in a voice that's much colder than even Chan's and gestures towards your right with his eyes. You look to your right and see a tiny vial with an injection on a pink vinyl player of all things.

"Right. Thanks." You reply taking both of the things and putting them in your dress pockets. When you don't leave and just stare at him expectantly he raises his eyebrows in a silent 'what'.

"Can you get out now? I've got work to do." So alike Chan yet so different.

"And you think I don't? I'm literally a-" he cuts you off, quite rudely at that.

"Do I look like I give a fuck, sweetheart?” He tilts his head as if he's asking you an actual question. “I'll say it one more time, get out. I've got work to do.” he says with that innocent smile.

"Go on then. I'm not stopping you."

"I would gladly do so if that didn't mean making you go deaf. You think I'm wearing these for style?" He gestures towards the muffs.

Ok so he wasn't one for small talk. You'll just have to get to the point then. You walk towards him until you're just an inch away from him. He doesn't even flinch or backs up. So unlike all the other men you've met. With an exception of Chan of course but that's not surprising considering Chan is an exception to everything in this world you live in. You whisper to him. "He's watching us, isn't he?" You ask not making the mistake of making eye contact with the camera that's at the corner of the room.

"So what?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Can you switch it off?"

"Why?" He questions again now furrowing his brows.

"Will you just do as I say?"

"Yeah because I know you so well right." He rolls his eyes, not budging at all.

"What do you think I'm gonna do if you turn it off? Kill you?"

"As if you've even got the guts to do that." He scoffs.

"Yeah exactly. So what's the problem? Why can't you just do as I say for once?

"For once? What do you mean?"

"Forget it. I know you're a traitor." You whisper.

His eyes widen significantly and that's the first time today you've seen any emotion on his face other than indifference.

"Wha- but how-" he stutters while trying to find the right words. Finally listening to you and switching the camera off.

..maybe that's why

(bsn ending #8)

jeongin x reader! i.n x fem reader!! wordcount: 2.2k

bsn alternative ending wherein jeongin doesnt want to call you 'noona' but you dont know why.

(an: last alternative ending. next to this will be the special chapter where a lot of yoou requested.)an: help! im dying! college is too hard.

an: i love jeongin!

part 1 and part 2 first

“Can you give me that spoon, please?”

Jeongin’s voice pulls you from your thoughts, and a teasing grin spreads across your face as you quickly hide the spoon behind your back. “Okay, if you call me ‘noona,’” you tease, already knowing the answer but still hoping.

He sighs, not even bothering to look up from his phone. “I won’t,” he replies, standing up to head towards the kitchen to grab a new spoon.

You shake your head with a small chuckle and place the spoon back on his plate. Was it really that hard to do?

Jeongin was just one year younger than you—a small gap, really. When you were nine, he was eight. That never felt like much of a difference. But then again, he had that same gap with Seungmin, and Seungmin got the honor of being called "hyung." So why didn’t Jeongin ever call you "noona"? The thought lingered in your mind often, and you teased him about it constantly.

But no matter how much you tried, he always brushed it off, never giving in.

You couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t treat you like he did the others.

Everyone doted on him, hugged him, and treated him like their adorable little brother. He would roll his eyes and push them away half-heartedly, but it was clear they all adored him. And who wouldn’t? Jeongin was cute. The kind of cute that made you want to squish his cheeks and ruffle his hair.

But he never seemed to mind when you hugged him. Like now, for example.

Your arms wrapped around his waist while he sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone as if you weren't even there. He didn’t push you away, didn’t squirm or protest like he did with the others. He just let you hold him, completely at ease, even as your head rested against his shoulder.

You don't know why, but you are willing to know the answer.

You never had a younger sibling, and the thought of taking care of Jeongin stirred something in you. He was just so easy to dote on—so talented, smart, and capable. Yet, there was this small part of you that still saw him as someone you wanted to spoil.

If he were your little brother, he’d probably be the most spoiled kid in the world.

But no matter how much you treated him like a little brother, there was always that lingering question: why didn’t he call you “noona”?

“Can you tie this for me?”

His voice breaks your thoughts again, and you look up to see Jeongin standing in front of you, holding the ends of his necktie. He’s dressed for his presentation, and you don’t hesitate to set your notebook aside and move to him.

You start tying his tie carefully, focusing on the task as his eyes linger on your hands.

Maybe it’s because he’s taller than you now?

That thought crosses your mind as you glance up at him, only to meet his steady gaze. The teasing thought bubbles up again, and a mischievous grin tugs at your lips.

“You should say, ‘Please, noona,’ if you want me to finish,” you say, your hands pausing mid-tie as you look up at him playfully.

Jeongin sighs, his patience visibly wearing thin. “Just finish it, please. I’ll be late,” he says,

“Not until you call me noona,” you insist, stepping back with your hands on your waist, fully embracing the playful banter. You expect him to groan or roll his eyes, but instead, his gaze sharpens, and the room feels suddenly smaller.

His next move catches you off guard.

Without warning, Jeongin steps forward and pins you against the wall, his hands braced on either side of you. His face is close—too close—and your breath catches in your throat. For a split second, all the teasing falls away, replaced by a tension you can’t quite place.

“I. Won’t,” he says, each word slow and deliberate, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that leaves you speechless.

You blink up at him, your brain trying to catch up to what just happened. But before you can say anything, he pulls back, adjusting his tie on his own with a swift motion. “You can stay as long as you want. Just lock the door when you leave,” he says coolly, grabbing his bag without a glance back and heading out the door.

You stand there, heart racing, still pressed against the wall, wondering what on earth just happened.

Did you push him too far? Was he mad? Or… was it something else?

Days pass, but teasing Jeongin about calling you "noona" doesn’t feel the same anymore. There’s something different now, something unspoken lingering between the two of you. You can’t quite place it, but it makes your chest feel tight, and the teasing doesn’t come as naturally as it used to.

Even now, as the others gather at your friend's hideout.. which was Jeongin’s apartment, you find yourself watching him a little too closely.

“My favorite baby is here!” Chan announces dramatically as he bursts into the room, immediately engulfing Jeongin in a hug. Jeongin struggles against him, whining, “Hyung! I’m not a baby!” but Chan only tightens his grip.

Minho, who’s busy in the kitchen, glances over with a smirk. “He’ll always be our baby,” he teases, and you can’t help but laugh, even though a small part of you feels envious. They always get to smother him in affection.

“He’s my baby,” you chime in proudly, earning a playful glare from Jeongin as he squirms under Chan’s grip.

“I’m not your baby,” Jeongin mutters, his voice slightly muffled as he tries to push Chan away.

“If he doesn’t want to be your baby, I can be,” Minho jokes, causing everyone to laugh.

“Shut up, Minho, you’re old,” you shoot back, rolling your eyes.

or maybe that’s why Jeongin doesn’t call you "noona"—because sometimes, you act like the younger one.

“I want ice cream,” you announce, pouting dramatically.

Jeongin, ever the responsible one, shoots you a disapproving look. “You haven’t even had dinner yet. You should eat something proper before you have ice cream,” he scolds, sounding more like an older brother than anything.

You sigh dramatically. “But I’m not hungry for dinner. I want ice cream,” you insist.

“Are you a baby?” he asks, laughing at your pout. But when you straighten up and fix your posture, you say, with as much dignity as you can muster, “I’m your noona.”

He smirks, clearly amused, and after a moment, he gets up to leave. “I’ll be back,” he says.

A few minutes later, he returns with a gallon of your favorite ice cream, and you light up, but before you can grab it, he holds it just out of reach.

“Eat this first,” he says, handing you a bag of fast food.

You sigh but comply, because, well, he’s Jeongin.

…maybe he doesn't want to call you noona 'cause he hates you?

"Do you hate me?" you asked one time

"Why would I?" he asked back. As far as he can remember he told you he loved you in that restaurant where you treat him.

"'Cause.. I don't know," you don't know how to explain

He ruffles your hair affectionately. “Stop overthinking. I don’t hate you.”

Or maybe he doesn’t wanna call you noona ’cause… he loves you?

That one sentence played over and over in your mind. It was the answer you’d been searching for, though you weren’t ready to admit it at the time.

After the sticky note incident and that night at Changbin’s birthday, things started to make sense. All the little moments clicked into place.

He didn’t want to call you noona because he didn't want to.

A week after Changbin’s party, you found yourself wanting to talk to someone, and Jeongin came to mind. He’d always been the one checking on you, sending you messages even when you didn’t reply. In one of them, he’d said, “If you ever need someone to talk to, just call me.”

But you hadn’t called.

Instead, you went to his apartment. You knew the passcode, as did most of the group. Still, you knocked. When no one answered, you entered, your steps careful, almost hesitant.

The silence was comforting, in a way. You sank into the soft cushions of his couch and waited, hoping the familiar space would calm the chaos in your mind.

It was getting dark when Jeongin finally came home, guitar strapped to his back. He hadn’t expected to find you here, yet there you were—curled up on his couch, looking so peaceful despite the turmoil you had been feeling.

For a moment, he just stood there, his eyes softening as he took you in. All his worries, the small frustrations, the confusion—it all faded away when he saw you like this. His heart ached in ways he couldn’t explain.

Quietly, as if afraid even the sound of his breath might wake you, he moved closer, kneeling beside the couch. His fingers hesitated before gently brushing the strands of hair away from your face, lingering in that tiny gesture, his thumb grazing your cheek.

His smile was bittersweet.

You had no idea how hard it was for him to stay in the role of the younger brother. How much he despised the label, how much he longed to break free from it. You didn’t know how many nights he lay awake, wishing he could grow up faster, become someone you’d look at differently—someone you might want to be with.

When you stirred slightly, he jerked back, standing in an instant. His heart raced as he quickly slipped into his usual facade, moving to sit on the smaller couch across from you. By the time you opened your eyes, he had an upside-down book in his hands, pretending to read.

"Oh, you’re awake?" he asked casually, as if nothing had happened, like he hadn’t just been admiring you moments ago.

You stretched, sitting up, blinking away the last remnants of sleep. "When did you get home?" you asked, your voice still soft from sleep, your lips curling into a smile.

"Not long ago." He shrugged, placing the book down carefully, his voice neutral, though his heart was anything but calm. "You should’ve called me."

"And disturb your class?" You laughed softly, shaking your head. "No way."

He wanted to tell you that it didn’t matter. That no class, no distance, nothing could stop him from coming to you if you needed him. But instead, he just smiled.

"How are you?" he asked, his gaze searching your face, seeing through the mask you always wore.

"I’m fine." The lie rolled off your tongue with practiced ease, but even you could feel how hollow it sounded.

Jeongin’s eyes lingered on you a little too long. He wanted to push, to ask why you were really here, but he didn’t want to scare you away. He knew you wouldn’t open up until you were ready.

Then, out of nowhere, you asked, "Can you call me noona?"

Jeongin blinked, caught off guard. The request was so unexpected, it almost felt like a joke. He scoffed lightly, unsure if you were teasing him or testing him.

You bit your lip, looking down as if you were afraid of his answer. "I just… I want to confirm something."

His heart sank. He didn’t want to call you that. Not now, not ever. He had spent so long trying to distance himself from that word, from the idea that you’d always see him as just your younger friend.

"Just once…" Your voice was softer this time, and it broke something inside him.

He swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at you. "Noona," he said quietly, barely able to force the word out, his voice thick with emotions he tried so hard to hide.

The silence that followed felt heavier than anything he had ever felt before. You didn’t say anything, and it scared him. He finally dared to glance at you, only to see you staring at him, your expression unreadable.

"Now I know the answer to my question," you whispered, more to yourself than to him.

Jeongin’s chest tightened. He didn’t ask what you meant, but every fiber of him was screaming for an explanation.

You let out a shaky breath, your eyes glistening as you finally looked back at him. "Noona doesn’t feel right coming from you."

He froze, the weight of your words sinking in. He knew what you meant—he could feel it in the way your voice trembled, in the way you were struggling to keep your feelings contained.

"I don’t want to be your noona."

It wasn’t just a statement. It was a confession. A quiet, undeniable truth.

You, who had once been so unsure, so careful with your feelings, were now looking at him with a clarity that left no room for doubt. You didn’t want to hide from it anymore.

And neither did he.

--

an; i saw vids of jeongin bowing on stays and it made my heart warm. jeongin was indeed raised right by his hyungs. so precious.

Second chance to love — Yang Jeongin

sypnosis. falling in love with your ex-boyfriend is not something that people usually do. Yang Jeongin was your first love, a sweet boy that you met on high school, on your senior year. Your relationship with him was almost perfect, until he entered JYP company to became a trainee. The time wasn't enough, it was hard to see each other, and finally your relationship with him came to an end. But was it really the end? Or would both of you could finally make it?

genre. fluff, exes to friends to lovers, idol au, both are trainees under JYP, here both ITZY and SKZ are in their trainee era, SKZ debut first, ITZY’s debut don’t appear on the story.

wordcount. super long (sorry)

warnings. cursing, lots of time skips, kissing, not a make up session but almost (they got caught by hyunjin), maybe everything happens very fast.

Following your dreams and finding love at the same time was something that Yang Jeongin, at a very young age, found very complicated.

Since he was a kid, he knew that his dream was to become a performer, a singer. He dreamed about being on stage dancing and singing with all he had. Jeongin had his plan to become an idol very clear, finishing school with good grades and then making an audition to reach his dreams..

Or at least that was his plan until you came into his life.

You were a pretty young girl that caught Jeongin's attention the moment you entered his class. Pretty eyes, black hair, and that beautifull smile Jeongin loved so much. You started talking to him because your teacher made you sit exactly next to him, everyone was sitting in pairs and that was the only space left. Jeongin through your eyes was a very beautiful boy that had an extremely funny and cute personality. Hi foxy eyes that had an special sparkle every time he looked at you and that smile with braces that made him look ten times more adorable tan he was.

You got along with him pretty good, always working together on the assignments and helping each other when it was needed. He felt for you first, clearly. His heart beating faster every single day he saw you entering the class, the way his body felt when you gave him a hug, or maybe how your smile made his day happier.

Of course you also fell in love with Jeongin, it was almost impossible not to. He was always checking on you, offering you his help with the homework or sharing his food with you. You started noticing his feelings due to he was always watching you in class, sometimes he even put his elbow closer to yours to make some type of contact between you two. He was very bad at hiding it, but you didn't mind to show it. So one day, you decided that it was time to tell the boy about how you felt about him, and so you did.

Jeongin and you dated for a few months, everything was perfect, or that was what you thought.

Jeongin had a very hard and busy life. He had tell you about his dream of becoming an idol, and of course that you decided to support him on everything you could. Jeongin passed the audition to become a trainee under JYP entertainment, and that took all the time he had left.

You knew that you wouldn’t be allowed to see him that much, and that was something Jeongin didn’t like. With all the pain on his heart, one day he told you to see him on the park, and that was the day that you broke up.

—Is not that i don’t love you any more— he said. —I don’t want to make you wait for me, i love you, but i really want this, and i wish i had more time to go out with you, but i don’t. I don’t want to lose you, i want to be with you for the rest of my life, but i don’t have enough time—

—It’s okay— you said with tears in your eyes. —I understand, and i really want you to complete this dream of yours. I love you too Jeongin, you are my first and only love. I’ll be watching for you, and i’ll be your number 1 fan when you make your debut— you giggled.

—Thanks for everything y/n, i really appreciate that you understand. But still, i’ll be wattinng for you always, and if life gives me the chance, i promise i will make you fall in love with me again if it’s necessary.— he said, making you smile.

—Good luck, Jeongin. I hope i can see you later—you hugged him.

And that was the last time that you saw your one true love.

—fuck! i’m going late!— you exclaimed.

it was actually really funny how you ended up in this situation that you never imagined you would be. everything started when you were on the supermarket two weeks ago, with both of your airpods plugged in your ears while “I can’t stop me” from twice was playing. you were singing quietly (or that’s what you thought) and doing some moves of the choreo while you were searching for meat to eat at dinner.

when suddenly, a young woman around 34 years old tapped your back calling your attention. she said that she has being hearing you sing all this time and that you had a very powerful voice.

—is this a joke?— you said to her.

she told you that she work on an idol company and that they would had auditions soon. the woman gave you a piece of paper with the location, date, and hour of the audition, and that’s when you realized that it wasn’t a joke.

“JYP ENTERTAINMENT” why was the name so familiar to you?

and today was finally the day. you had prepared yourself for the past weeks to this moment. the song you decided to perform on the audition was “I can’t stop me” the same song that the woman heard you sing. that was the song that called her attention, so maybe it would also call the attention of the judges. actually, you didn’t know why you were putting this much effort in something like this. you never thought of becoming an idol or being a trainee, but maybe it would be fun, so… why not?

the building was very big, glass doors and poster of groups like twice, wonder girls and 2PM decorating all the inside of the building, it was amazing. there was around 20 boys and girls making the line that you supposed that it was to make the audition, all of them warming up their voices or dancing softly trying to remember every single step.

—hello!— said a girl.

—hi!— you replied with a smile. —my name is yuna, what’s yours?—

—i’m y/n, nice to meet you— you said. —nice to meet you too. what category are you auditioning for?— she asked. —singing—

—wow, that’s cool, i’m doing dancing. my dream is to be an idol and i think today would bring a great opportunity for me— yuna said. —i hope that you pass the audition, you look very confident, yuna— you replied.

—thanks y/n, i hope that you pass the audition too—

time passed and the line became shorter every single time, girls coming in with a smile and coming out crying, boys with sad faces, and people that could make it. yuna had left you a few minutes before, but she never came back. you were nervous as fuck. it was almost you time, and you were starting to panic.

—come in please— a woman told you.

you entered the room, a white room with a microphone on the center and three people sitting one a desk in front of you.

—choi y/n?— a man asked. —yes sir, hello— you said doing a reverence.

—my name is Park Jinyoung, this is Kang Minjin and this is Seo Jaerin, and we will be de judges today. okay?— he said. —yes—

—perfect! so now, you can start—

you took the microphone on your hands, and with that, the music began to sound. you sang with all you had, feeling the rhythm of the music and doing every note perfect. you saw park jinyoung face while you were singing, jaw open almost hitting the floor. that’s a good sign, you thought.

—you did it amazing— he said when the song ended. —you have an amazing and powerful voice that we will appreciate a lot. welcome to JYP entertainment, y/n—

—oh my god, thank you so much— you replied with a big smile on your face. —go and sit with the other girls that are on the next room, i’ll be with you on a second.—

—yes sir, and thank you again— you bowed.

you walked to the other room, seeing yuna sitting on a couch with other five girls around her.

—y/n!— she exclaimed. —you did it! i’m so happy for you—

—i’m so happy for you too, yuna. i knew that you would pass the audition— you replied.

—let me introduce you our new friends… this is yeji, this is ryujin, here is chaeryeong, and this is lia—

—nice to meet you all— you said with a smile.

—i’m glad we are all going to be friends— yeji said.

—yeah, me too— chae expressed. —i was scared that you girls would be rude or something like that—

—of course not. i knew that we would all be pretty and kind— lia said.

—i like this group— ryujin said smiling.

—i like it too— you said.

—hello again, girls— park jinyoung said entering the room once again. —i hope that you already had time to meet each other. but well, let’s start! all of you had been selected thanks to your incredible abilities in the categories of dancing, singing, and rapping. the six of you would form a group called ITZY, and your trainee period would started tomorrow. for now, i would have another group of trainees that would show you the building. tomorrow, all of you would have a room assigned and your dancing classes would start at 8:00 am. and now, i would leave you with our oldest group of trainees, stray kids.—

just after he said that a group of eight boys came through the door. all of them were wearing black clothes and they all had a smile on their faces.

they boys formed on line, allowing you and you friends to looked at heir faces. and…

oh for the love of god.

your eyes got wide open, jaw almost hitting the floor, and a gesture of surprise on your face. you couldn’t believe it. you were seeing Jeongin, the Jeongin that you broke up with three years ago. except that this time he was taller and his features were a little different.

—hi girls! my name is Bang Chan and i’m the leader of the group— he said with a smile. —This are Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmim, and this is our maknae Je-

—Jeongin…— you said finishing his sentence.

his name escaped from your lips, the smile the boy had disappeared and a expression of surprise and confusion invaded his face. he took a second to analyze if it was really you, the girl he had love so much in the past. he saw your face, your eyes that he loved so much, it was really you.

—Uhmm, excuse me, i have to go to the bathroom!— Jeongin said quickly while leaving the room.

—do you know him?— chaeryeong whispered in your ear.

—i will tell you later— you answered.

—Excuse him, but any ways, we’re going to show you the building— chan said.

yeji, ryujin, chaeryeong, lia, yuna, and you followed the 8 boys through all the building. it was vey big, it had a lot of rooms that they said were to practice dance, some of them were con singing, and they were also “classes” for the foreigners trainees to study korean.

jeongin never came back, you wonder why. you haven’t see him in a long time, of course you were over him already, but watching him again made you feel some kind of nostalgic feeling.

the next day you arrived half and hour early to the JYP building, you wanted to have some time to prepare yourself before the practices started, so you did.

you were walking in the hallway when suddenly someone bumped into you.

—oh, i’m so sorry! are you okay?— you asked.

—Yeah, yeah, i’m fi- y/n?— oh, it was jeongin.

—jeongin?—

—yes, uhmm i’m sorry, i wasn’t looking were i was going— he said awkwardly.

—it’s okay—

actually, all this situation is awkward.

—and… how have you been?— you said.

—really good actually, you? i never imagine seeing you here— jeongin answered.

—pretty good— you smiled. —i never thought of myself being here either—

—well, if you are here is for a reason. why do you audition for?—

—i did singing—

—oh wow, i did singing to get here too—

—ahh yes, yes—

the atmosphere was awkward, both of you just staring at each other without saying something. jeongin’s eyes looking directly at yours, and that familiar feeling that you felt long time ago coming one again into your body.

—i have to go practice so…—Jeongin said with putting his hands in the back of his neck.

—oh yeah, me too— you told him.

—see you around, y/n—

—bye jeongin—

you turned your back and started walking on the hall again, jeongin watching you from behind. he shake his head, what was he thinking? he was going to keep walking when suddenly Minho and Hyunjin appear in front of him.

—If you were trying to flirt with her, you have to try better— hyunjin joked.

—shut up— jeongin said.

—how didn’t you notice hyunjin?— minho asked the other boy. —that’s y/n, the girl that jeongin wouldn’t stop talking when we meet him—

—holy crap, are you trying to flirt with your ex-girlfriend?—

—okey stop, we have to go to practice or Bang Chan hyung is going to kill us— jeongin said in annoyance.

—whatever— minho answer.

of course that jeongin was over you too, but seeing your pretty face again made him question all his feelings.

this is stupid, he thought.

seeing his ex-girlfriend from three years ago and re-thinking if he was really over you was stupid, but the way his heart beat faster the second you looked at him was making him insane.

jeongin walked with his other team member to the practice room, watching how the others were memorizing the new dance moves that they learned yesterday.

—guys, guess what! jeongin was talking to y/n on the hall a few minutes ago!— hyunjin exclaimed loudly.

—hyunjin!? why are you so–

—y/n? the girl that we met yesterday?—changbin asked.

—the one that had pretty eyes— felix said.

—You saw her for 2 minutes and now you are in love with her?— han joked.

—god, save me— jeongin said quietly.

—guys, guys— chan started talking. —y/n is jeongin’s ex-girlfriend, he used to tell us about her all the time, remember? now stop bordering out poor maknae—

—ohh so that’s y/n— seungin commented. —she looks like a nice girl—

—she is— the younger affirmed. —or she was, i don’t know, i haven’t talk to her in a while…—

—let’s talk about this later and start practicing, okay?— chan said.

—yes— they all responded.

on your side, everything was going perfectly. practice had started a while ago and know you were on a break.

—i’m so tired!— lia said sitting on the floor.

—i knew that this was going to be har, but not that hard— yuna said.

—my legs hurt—

—mines too—

—let’s do something fun to know each other better— chae suggested, sitting in the floor. —yesterday, when the boys were showing us the building, y/n recognized one of them—

—oh yeah, i remember— yeji said.

—who was him y/n?— ryujin asked.

—oh girls— you said resting in the floor. —his name is Yang Jeongin, and he was más first and only love—

—awww really?—

—that is so cute—

—yeah, we broke up three years ago because he wanted to chase his dream of becoming an idol, but i didn’t have in mind that i would become one too— you explained.

—and how has being seeing him again after three years?— yuna asked.

—well, i don’t know. he has changed a lot, he got a lot taller, and he is more…—

—handsome?— yeji suggested.

—okey, i think is time to go back to practice— you said standing up.

—but i want to hear the story!— chae protested.

—uh-uh, time to dance!—

next day after practice, you went to the cafeteria to eat lunch. you decided to buy the half of sandwich and a bottle bottle of water. the sandwich was actually really good, even though you could not eat it constantly due to your diet, one time would not affect that much.

you were eating peacefully when suddenly someone sat next to you. it was jeongin.

—hi y/n— he said with a little smile.

—hey jeongin, how are you?— you answered softly.

—i brought you this— the boy said giving you two slices of pizza.

—thank you innie, but i can’t eat them. i’m on diet you know— you told him with lame.

—you haven’t call me innie in a long time…— he said giggling.

you only called jeongin “innie” when he was your boyfriend. it was a cute nickname that you decide to put him, and since then, you only called him that.

—i only called you that when, you know…— you said.

—when what?—he asked with a smirk. —when i was you boyfriend— he said getting closer to you.

this jeongin was very different that the one that you met days ago, the jeongin who literally went running to the bathroom when he saw you.

—yes, that. when you were my boyfriend— you told him a little embarrassed.

—remember that day, when we had to broke up because i wanted to follow my dream?—

—mhm—

—i told him that if life gave me the opportunity, i would make you fall in love with me again—

—jeongin, that happen a lot tim—

—no, i made you a promise. and i’m going to keep it— he interrupted.

a message from the group chat of ITZY appeared on your phone, it was yeji saying that lunch time was over and that practice was going to begin in 5 minutes. thanks god, because you were about to go running from this situation.

—innie, i have to go, lunch time is over and yeji is calling us to go back— you said standing up from the table.

—take the pizza with you, i will eat the sandwich. don’t do hard diets, i don’t want you to feel bad, you look perfect like this— he said.

you felt butterflies on your stomach, the jeongin whom you fall in love with was making you feel this familiar sensation again.

—y-yeah, i’ll se you later jeongin— you took the slices of pizza and the water bottle and started walking away.

—see you later y/n. and remember! i will make you fall for me again no matter what!— he said loudly with a clear smile on his face.

you almost got out of the cafeteria running, this mixed feeling of joy and confusion hitting hard on your body. you started walking faster to the practice room, you had to tell the girls. you opened the door, seeing yeji stretching with chaeryeong and lia, and ryujin chasing yuna all over the room.

—oh. my. god girls, i have to tell y’all something!!— you said with excitement in your voice.

—what is it!?— yuna said and paused running.

—it’s about jeongin…—

—oh hell yes!!— chaeryeong exclaimed loudly.

—tell us y/n, what is it?— lia asked with curiosity.

—okey so, i’m gonna tell y’all the story from the beginning. so, when i was on my senior year i met jeongin at my school. he was the sweetest boy ever, i sat with him every single day, he was always helping me and we also did the assignments together. until one day i started noticing that he was behaving a little more… different, he was always trying to keep physical contact with me and he also keep looking at me always. until one day i heard one of our classmates, beomgyu, literally saying out loud that he liked me. after that i discovered that i also liked him, so i decided to confess. everything went great and we started dating, we were very happy, but he wanted to become a trainee here and he didn’t had a lot of time for me, so we decide that it was best for both of us to broke up… that day, he made me a promise, he said that if life put me on his path again, he would made me fall in love with him again. and here we are…

—awww that’s so cute— yeji said in awe.

—and what are you feeling no?— ryujin asked you.

—i don’t know girls… i loved jeongin on the past with all my heart, he was my first love. but, i haven’t see him in three years, three years.—

—do you think you could give him another opportunity?— lia said.

—y/n, literally since the day you saw him your face changed completely. your eyes sparkle every single time you see him.— chae told you.

—y/n and jeongin forever!– yuna screamed.

—shhh yuna!— you said laughing—should i give him another opportunity?— you asked them.

—if your heart tell you to give him another opportunity, then do it—

—you said that he was your first love, he will always have an especial part of your heart— lia said.

—just make sure pd-nim doesn’t notice it, remember we are not allowed to date here—

—oh shit, i almost forgot that— you said hitting your face with the palm of your hand. —should i tell him to see each other after practice ends?—

—yesss!— they answered.

the four girls sat behind your back, poking out their faces over your shoulders to read the conversation you were about to have with jeongin.

“Innie 💞” you read the name, after your broke up you never changed his name.

you entered the chat and started typing.

Innie 💞

–hey innie

-do you want to meet me out of the building after practice?

literally two seconds after you pressed the “send” button, he was typing his answer.

Innie 💞

-sure, of course! i was going to tell you but i’m glad you did first, does this mean my plan is working?

-hahaha, see you later! 🫶🏼

—i can’t believe i just did that— you told the girls.

—okey, y/n and jeongin going back mode, is activated— ryujin said.

—you will have to look stunning later, we will help you to get ready— said chaeryeong.

—aww thank you girlies—

—for now let’s keep practicing— the leader, yeji said. —when we finish, we can help y/n get ready for her date with jeongin—

—okey—

you and the girls keep practicing this new choreography that you had learned. the song name was “DALLA DALLA” and this was supposed to be the song for your debut. after four long hours of dancing and singing, the time to meet with jeongin had arrived. you took a shower and washed your face, you had sweat a lot due to dancing so you wanted to make sure that you smelled good. after you got out of the shower you dried your hair and straightened it a bit.

the other five girls were searching for your clothes, they choose a cargo pant with a pretty top and the shoes. chae and lia helped you to get your make up done, just putting some mascara, highlighter on the corner of your eyes, and blush while yeji and ryujin were doing your hair. meanwhile, yuna was searching for some perfume to put on.

—your hair is ready— yeji said proudly. her and ryujin had make a pretty braid that made your hair look amazing.

—is actually really good— ryujin said giving it the final touches.

—your make up is also done!— chae told you.

—you look gorgeous, y/n—

—thanks lia— you said with a smile. —thanks for helping me girls, you are all the best—

—no problem y/n, any time— the leader said.

—i find this perfume— yuna said with a small bottle on her hands. —it’s smells reeeeaaaally good—

—thanks yuna!—

when everything was ready, you thanked the girls once again and then got out of the building. it was around 6:30pm, and the weather was starting to get really, really cold. how could i forget my sweater? you thought to yourself. minutes later of waiting there, you saw jeongin figure coming out of the building. he had a grey and blue sweater and some jeans, his hair was messy and he was also wearing black glasses.

—sorry if i made you wait for too long— the boy apologized. —i had to make an excuse so bang chan hyung let me skip practice—

—you haven’t finish practice?— you asked him.

—we will be making our debut soon, so we have to practice harder.— jeongin explained.

—right, if you want we can meet another da-

—no! no, don’t worry. i can’t miss this— he answered with a smile. —do you want to walk?—

—sure— you replied.

—so… how have you been?—

—really good, actually. i’m still adapting to all of this you know, sometimes is hard to train all the time. i feel exhausted sometimes— you told him.

—yeah, i get it. it happened to me too, but you will adapt soon or later, is just matter of time—

—i hope so… but i also like being here, i met my teammates and they are amazing. they are like my new sisters, they are so sweet—

—in my case they are also like my brothers— he laughed. —they said i’m their baby bread, so they’re always bothering me—

—that’s cute— you laughed at the nickname.

—and what, do you have a new boyfriend?—he asked.

—damm, you have no filter Yang Jeongin. always going straight to the point—

—you know how i am. so…?—

—i don’t have a boyfriend, yang. i don’t have time for that—

—you haven’t been with anyone since, you know… we broke up?—

—noup, no one. how about you?—

—nah, before you came here i always expected you to send me a text or something—

—i didn’t because i really wanted you to be here, to make your dream true. and if you really wanted me to text you, why didn’t you text me neither?— you asked with curiosity.

—i was really shy at that moment, y/n. i couldn’t even hold your hand without getting all red— he giggled.

—i remember that— you said laughing. —every time i gave you a kiss you would get all shy and flustered—

—but i’ve grown up, and now i don’t get shy—

—really?— you said stopping walking.

—really. do you wanna try?—

he also stopped walking, looking deep into your eyes and then your lips. you got closer to him, faces inches from each other, lips almost touching. you saw how he closed his eyes, waiting to feel your lips against his, but in never happened.

—good luck next time, innie— you said in a whisper and continued walking.

—oh come on!— jeongin exclaimed.

—if you want to get back with me, you will have to try harder— you laughed.

—does this mean there is possibility for us getting back?—

—i never said that—

—i told you that i would make you fall in love with me again no matter what.— he said and you turned to look at him. —i never stopped loving you, y/n, you were my first love. and you have no idea of how hard it was for me to leave you. i don’t care how much time it takes, i’ll get back with you. and do you know how do i know it? because if you didn’t have the same intention, we wouldn’t be here right now—

you had to admit it, you never stopped loving jeongin. the way he made you fell all the time was a feeling that nobody else could make you feel. how his arms around your body made you feel save, how his eyes always looked at you with love and admiration.

you stand there for a few seconds, analyzing what he just said. you walked in front of him, he was still the pretty boy that you met in your senior year. the pretty boy whom you fall in love with all your heart, the boy that made you feel butterflies in your stomach every time he looked at you.

you took his face between your hands, finally getting closer and pressing your lips against his. the new sensation but the unforgettable feeling of his lips pressed against yours made you fell like heaven. his hands went to your waist, pulling you closer to his body, trying to feel every inch of you.

you were the one that broke the kiss, his eyes sparkling like stars, and a big smile present on his face.

—i never stopped loving you either— you whispered on his lips. —you don’t have to make me fall for you again, because my heart has been always your Yang Jeongin—

—you don’t have any idea of how long i’ve been waiting for this— he said smiling. —i promise that this time is going to be different, we practically live on the same building right now. and i swear that this time, nothing is going to make me leave you again—

his lips met yours one again, forming another kiss that was full of love and reliving sensations from the past. jeongin was your first love, how can you resist to him?

—it’s getting cold right now— he said with his hands still on your waist.

—i know, i’ve been freezing all this time— you confessed.

—why didn’t you tell me?— jeongin asked with a worried voice. —i could have give you my sweater—

—it’s okay innie, we should probably go back to the building—

—do you want to drink hot chocolate at the cafeteria? i know is your favorite, is it?—

—of course it is, i love it!—

—let’s go then—

You and Jeongin walked towards the building once again. hands touching occasionally until jeongin finally decided to take yours. It was like his hand was made perfectly to hold yours, his fingers intertwined with yours, making the situation even more adorable.

ITZY 🫀✨

—…and that’s what happen…

Chae 💘— OMGGG!!!

Yeji 🌷— i knew it!

Lía 💋— i was sure

that you guys were going to kiss

Ryujin 😍— yuna you owe me

5000 wons

Yuna 🩵— NOOO 😭😭

—do you guys made a bet? hahaha

Ryujin 😍— yep, and yuna just lost.

Yeji 🌷— btw girls, practice

is cancelled today. rest well!

you locked your phone, thanks god practice got cancelled today. today the weather was very cold, but you decided to get up from bed and go to the JYP building. even tho you didn’t had practice, you wanted to see Jeongin.

you took a shower and changed into a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. the building was near your dorm, so it was actually very easy to get there. you got in, saying hello in a polite way to every worker in the building. what you didn’t expect was to see JYP-nim on the hall.

—y/n, what are you doing here? practice for you was cancelled today— he said with a little smile.

—oh uhmm… i thought it would be great if i came here and practice a little more to be ready when we make our debute— you lied.

—what a wonderful girl! that’s the attitude i’m looking for, good luck with your practice— he said and then leaved.

whoosh, you almost got caught.

you went up in the elevator, going to the 6 floor and walking to the stray kids practice room. you could hear the music from the room, they were playing “Hellevator” one of their pre-debut releases.

you opened the door, hoping to see the entire group dancing, but instead of that, you only saw jeongin.

a big smile appeared on his face, he was dressed on a white t-shirt and some grey pants similar to yours. he had his hair all messy, small drops of sweat coming down his face due to the effort he was making.

—hi innie— you said with a smile. —can i come in?—

—of course baby, what are you doing here?—

baby… did he just called you baby?

—practice was cancelled for me today— you said closing the door behind you. —and i wanted to see you…—

—aww you miss me— jeongin said hugging you by the waist. —you know you’re always welcome here—

—and where are the others?— you asked.

—they’re gone for some minutes…—

—i se-

you couldn’t finish the sentence, jeongin’s lips were already over yours. his soft lips making you remember the kiss from yesterday. one of his hands was on the back of your neck while the other one was on your waist. the kiss was getting a little more intense, and the atmosphere was starting to get hotter.

jeongin’s body was pressed against yours, the pressure making you walk backwards. you knew that he was making this on purpose when you felt the cold wall hit your back. your hands travelled from his chest you his abdomen, his tongue licking softly your lower lip through the kiss.

your hands lifted up his shirt a bit, allowing you to fell his abs and chest muscles. both of jeongin’s hands were now on your hips, making circles and trying to pull you closer to the lower part of his body. you were the one that broke the kiss, trying to calm yourself down because the heat on your body was growing faster and faster.

—why’d you stop?— he asked, his lips all shiny and red because of the previous actions.

—your friends can come in any second— you said, voice all shaky and trying to catch air.

—i told you, they won’t come in a while— he explained.

this time you didn’t even had time to answer, his lips were devouring yours once again. he kissed your lips, then your jaw, and going down your neck. at this point you weren’t giving a shit if the other members came in. jeongin’s hands went under your black hoodie, the contact of his cold fingers over your soft and warm skin making you shiver.

—jeongin were ba- HOLY SHIT, JEONGIN IS HAVING SEX ON THE PRACTICE ROOM!—

oh shit, it was hyunjin.

—shit, shit, fuck!— jeongin said pulling your hoodie down again.

—oh god, this can’t be happening— you said in panic.

—what’s going on here?— the leader of stray kids said opening the door.

—and why does hyunjin look traumatized?— seungmin asked.

—y/n? what are you doing here?— felix said in confusion.

—uh-uhmm i was…—

—THEY WERE HAVING SEX!— hyunjin exclaimed once again.

—shut your mouth up— jeongin told him. —we were just talking about something…—

—i bet that our little innie isn’t hungry anymore— changbin joked and jeongin gave him a bad look.

—stooop, please— he replied to him.

—well, let’s forget about this, okay?— lee know said. —we should probably eat—

—yeah, the food is getting cold— han spoke.

—of you want to stay, you can y/n, you are always welcome— felix said with a smile.

—thanks felix—

—we brought pizza, jeongin told us that it was your favorite—

—i really like it, but i’m on a diet—

—it’s okay to eat pizza some times, y/n— chan said. —it’s okay, don’t worry—

—okey but, eat the pizza, not our little jeongin— hyunjin finally spoke.

—al right, al right— you laughed.

you ate with them and spend the rest of the afternoon there. after eating you and jeongin told the boys about the what was happening between you two, you told them about how he was your boyfriend on your senior year and how you guys went back together.

after that they teach you some dance moves of the song of their debut and then jeongin took you home, saying goodbye with a soft kiss and a long tight hug. after leaving you on your dorm he went back to the building, the day was over for you but not for him. the stray kids debut was less than a month so everything had to be perfect.

jeongin went back to the room, seeing lee know helping the others with the final touches of the choreo.

—jeongin can i talk to you for a sec?— chan asked the maknae of the group.

—sure hyung, is something wrong?— jeongin asked worried.

—it’s about y/n–

—oh…—

—i know that you really like her, and i also know that she is very important and special to you. but i need you to remember that you are going to become an idol in less than a month, i need you to be really focus at this point of your career. does JYP-nim knows about you and her?—

—no— the boy answered.

—okey, make sure you don’t get caught, because if you do, you’ll get in a lot of trouble— chan said palming his shoulder.

—yes, thank hyung— jeongin smiled.

—your welcome, kid—

—oh, i almost forget it! i need your help with something, it’s about y/n—

—what is it?—

—i need your help to make a plan to ask her to be my girlfriend…—

a month has passed and the debut of Stray Kids couldn’t be more successful. talking about your relationship with jeongin, this last month has been totally amazing. even tho JYP-nim still knew nothing, always at the end of the day jeongin took you to little dates. when he couldn’t wait to see you at noon, he escaped from his practice to go to yours, giving you and the other five girls a bottle of water and some chocolates to keep your levels of sugar high.

the girls liked jeongin (mostly because he gave them snacks all the time) but also because they always see how happy you were with him. jeongin loved you, and a lot.

talking about all this thing of the debate, yours was also very close (let’s pretend that they trained for more than three months idk) your debut album was called “IT’z Different” and the title track was “DALLA DALLA” a song that was mostly about loving yourself. all of your group liked a lot the song, the choreography was fun and energetic, and all of you had enough time to show your vocal and rap skills.

today was saturday, and was your free day. about 2 weeks ago you and the girls started living together, and it was the most fun thing ever. at the beginning everything was an absolutely mess, but now the rooms were clean and everyone had their own room. yesterday jeongin told you to go out on a date and 1pm, and luckily you had enough time to get ready.

after eating breakfast with the girls, yeji and lia went to the store to buy some things while ryujin, yuna, and you stayed as the dorm. you washed the dishes and then went to take a shower, you washed all your body and hair to be perfectly clean for the date. you choose a white dress with small flowers in it, you dried and curled you hair a little bit and finally the makeup. now was 12:30, wow, times flies so fast.

yo took a taxi to go to the park, that was like your special place with jeongin, and you loved to go there and spend time with him. the day was sunny, and when you arrived the sun was hitting softly the grass of the park. you saw jeongin on one side, you got out of the taxi and almost run into him. he was looking so cute.

—hi innie— you said with a bright smile.

—hi pretty, you look gorgeous today—

—thanks— you blushed. —you look pretty cute too—

—let’s go, okey?— jeongin smiled

—sure!—

jeongin took your hand kindly and started walking to green area of the park.

—now, i need you to close your eyes— he said standing behind you, putting his arms in your shoulders.

—why?—you laughed.

—just to it, you’ll see— he repeated.

—okey—

he placed both of his hands on your eyes, his voice guiding you so you didn’t fall with anything, then he stopped.

—can i open my eyes now—you asked him.

—yep— jeongin said getting of his hands from your eyes.

there was a pretty red and white blanket, with food and drinks in it, something that looked like a present, a cake, more snacks, and heart shaped balloons.

—oh my god jeongin, did you did all that?— you asked with surprise, it was absolutely beautiful.

—yes, with a little bit of help of the guys, do you like it?— he giggled.

—of course i like it! i love it!— you exclaimed, then, giving him a kiss.

—sit, i brought all your favorite snacks. and oh! the cake is red velvet, you favorite—

—aww you’re so sweet innie— you sat on the blanket, admiring one more thine how beautiful all this looked.

jeongin sat besides you, ha gave you food and drinks while you guys joked around. he told you about how nervous he was on his debut, but that now he was very confident because he had all the support of STAY. you told him about how you were feeling recently with all this situation of the ITZY debut, you were actually very nervous, and you were scared that the people didn’t like you, or worst, didn’t like the song. you guys also talked about how happy you felt with each other, jeongin told you the story about how it was living without your presence when he started with JYP, but how also he talked with the boys about you all the time. you also told him how you ended here, the story of you singing on the store. jeongin couldn’t stop laughing, how can you even be recruited this way?

you spent all the afternoon doing one of your favorite things in the world, talking and eating with jeongin. just having him around could make you fell things no one could make you feel ever, and the way he looked at you with those eyes yes and his dimples showing every time he laughed, were almost making you melt.

—i have something to give you— jeongin said giving you the present that you saw before.

—what is it?— you asked in curiosity.

—open it—

you opened the box, seeing the inside decorated with a lot of photos of you and him and also some chocolates. there was also a white bracelet with a heart in it, very similar to the one he was wearing, except his was black. at the bottom of the box was a letter, you were just about to read it when jeongin spoke quickly.

—no! don’t open it here— he said trying to get the letter from your hands.

—why?— you smiled.

—because i’m gonna get all shy and then i won’t be able to talk properly, and i have things left to say— he said blushing.

—fine, but the second by feet hit my dorm, i will read it— you said.

—okey, okey—

—thank you very much innie— you said giving him a tight hug, smiling his cologne. —you didn’t have to all this for me, you’re the best—

—i love with all my heart, that’s why i did it— he said kissing your forehead. —i have also something to tell you…—

—what it is?—

—uhmm i don’t know if i should say it— jeongin told you hiding his face on the crook of your neck.

—just say it, innie. what happened to the “i’m not shy anymore” jeongin, huh?— you laughed.

—okey fine— he said finally looking at you eyes. —okey, uhmm… so, i just wanted to tell you that this last months with you had probably been the most happiest months of my life. i really, really like you y/n, and having the chance to be with you again is absolutely incredible. in my eyes you are the most beautiful, amazing, and kind girl of the world, and of course that you already have my entire heart. when we were on our senior year i always used to say that you were my first love and that if it wasn’t with you, it wasn’t with nobody else, and i was right. my eyes and heart only have space for you, you are my first love and hopefully the last one, and i hope that i have a lot time left with you. y/n, you were the one that showed me how was to feel loved, how was to have someone that felt the same things towards you. the words “i love you” don’t mean nothing compared to how i feel about you. i never stopped loving you, and i promise you that i won’t stop never, you have no idea of how perfect and beautiful you are through my eyes…—

you felt the heat growing up your cheeks, you heart was beating like crazy due to jeongin’s words. you were going to melt right there, his eyes watching you softly while his hand was holding yours. It was only a matter of time before you started crying.

—innie, i-

—y/n…— he cut you off. —can you give me a second chance? can i be your boyfriend?—

oh god, it was happening.

you stare at him for a few seconds, analyzing his expression with fear in his eyes. reality hit you in that moment, of course you wanted to be his girlfriend.

—of course that i want to be with you— you said with the biggest smile you ever had. —you are my first love jeongin, and i’m in love with you again, i love you too—

—really!?— the boy exclaimed with happiness, sitting in front of you.

—of course, silly— your hands cupped his cheeks, watching carefully the expression of joy in his eyes.

—oh my god, i got so scared for a moment because you didn’t say anything! i love you so, so, so much—

jeongin took you by the waist, pulling your bodies closer and finally connecting them with a kiss. this time kissing him felt different, it felt more special, more beautiful. his lips felt so soft into yours, the red velvet flavor hitting your mouth every time your tongs touch each other.

—I— kiss —LOVE— kiss —YOU— kiss, he said in your lips.

—believe me innie…—you giggled. —i love you more— you kissed him again.