InFatherPucccisArms - Tumblr Posts

CW: Vent, Depictions Of Mutilation, Suicidal Ideation, Brief Mention Of SH, Brief Mentions Of SA, S1vt Shaming, Mentions Of A Past Unhealthy Relationship, Bad Grammmar

(Please Be Mindful Of Your Mental State Before You Hit Read More! Please!)

I Feeel So Sick Like I’m About To Fucking Pop I Can’y. Keeep Doing This.

I Was Friends With A Fucking Psychopath That Ruined My Fucking Life That Wanted Yo Rake Me Down With Them. They Were So Obsesssed With How I Was, But Kept Tricking Me Into Thinking That They’ve Moved On And Are Proud Of Me.

I Hate Them. I Hate Them I Hate Thaem.

Now If I Dare Try And Show Any Emotion Of Anger Or Burnout, I Immmediately Want To Hurt Myself Because That’s Not Who I’m Suppposed To Be!!! What I Want To Be!!!!! You Wouldn’t Want To Go Back To Being An Abusive Prick, Would You!?!!!?!!!!!

But Was I Ever An Abusive Prick In The First Place?

Almost Ever Freidn. I Never Had A Areal Friend Until Almost Two Years Ago.

I Was Just Used. For Something That I Was Tooo Young To Be Having Taken.

I Was Nothing But A BROTHEL TO THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS.

AND THEY WANTED ME TO BE A BROTHEL FOR THEM. FUCK THAT.

I Can’t Do This. I’m Trying Not To Cry At Work And Everything’s Settting Me Offf And I Feeel So FUCKING Miserable I Just Want To FUCKING Dive Offf A FUCKING CLIFFF.

I Want To TEAR MY BODY OPEN. I DON’T WANT TO BE IN MY SKIN. IT’S TOOO PAINFUL. FEEEL TRAPPPED.

I’m So Sorrry. But God I Can’t. I Don’t Know _Where_ I Can Properly Vent This Shit To. I Apologize.

Cw: More Body Shaming, Slight Mention Of Starvation

I Want Him To Look At Me And Go “You Feel Like You’ve Eaten Too Much Today? But Dear, You Look So Hungry And Famished! Come, Have Some Dinner, Just You, Nobody Else. No Unwanted Eyes, Hm?”

Cw: Body Shaming, But With Some Self Shipping Sprinkled In

I Desperately Want Jonathan To Hold Me While I Wear This Fucking Strawberry Dress That I Have Convinced Myself I Look Fat In, And Tell Me I Look So Beautiful And That He Wants To Show Me Off To Everybody And He Will Put Anybody In Their Place, Including Myself, If I Or Somebody Talks Bad About Me/Myself

CW: Vent Post, Mentions Of Unhealthy Escapism Thoughts And Past Abusive Friendship

Man Do I Want To Go To Garrreg Mach Monastery And Never Come Back Out. How Badly I Want Classsmates Who Willl Phsyicallly Protect Me Once Someone Tries To Messs With Me. I Wish I Could Be Held And Given Actual Healthy And Loving Atttention (Both Platonic And Romantic) From The Characters I Love. I Wish I Could Learn Magic. I Wish I Could Learn Swordsmanship And Brawling. I Wish I Could Go To The Training Grounds Every Afternooon Before Lunch And Train With Jeritza, Then Sit Down By Myself, And Have My Favorite Characters Come To Sit With Me Because They Noticed I Was Sittting Alone And Wanted To Give Me Some Company Because They Care About Me. I Wish I Could Go Into Fire Emblem Threee Houses And Disapppear.

I Wish They Never Came Into My Fucking Life And Made This Side Of Myself Even Fucking Worse.

CW: More Vent

Just Forget About My Emotions. Forget About Me And Who I Am. What My Problems Are. They’lll Be Undermined And Forgottten Anyway. No One Truly Thinks Of Me. At Least Not Right Now. I’lll Have To Sufffer. But At This Point, I’d Much Prefer To Be Forgottten. There’s No Point In Keeeping Up With My Problems Anymore. I Have Beeen Made To Believe That I Am To Listen To Everyones Problems, And Be Ignored With Mine. If I Am Listened To, It Is Only A Formality. They’re Like The Clipboard And Pen, Sittting Down, Asking Me “And How Does That Make You Feeel?” With An Annnoyed Sigh. And I Wonder. Just Wonder. If It’lll Always Be This Way.

CW: Vent Post, Mentions Of Unhealthy Escapism Thoughts And Past Abusive Friendship

Man Do I Want To Go To Garrreg Mach Monastery And Never Come Back Out. How Badly I Want Classsmates Who Willl Phsyicallly Protect Me Once Someone Tries To Messs With Me. I Wish I Could Be Held And Given Actual Healthy And Loving Atttention (Both Platonic And Romantic) From The Characters I Love. I Wish I Could Learn Magic. I Wish I Could Learn Swordsmanship And Brawling. I Wish I Could Go To The Training Grounds Every Afternooon Before Lunch And Train With Jeritza, Then Sit Down By Myself, And Have My Favorite Characters Come To Sit With Me Because They Noticed I Was Sittting Alone And Wanted To Give Me Some Company Because They Care About Me. I Wish I Could Go Into Fire Emblem Threee Houses And Disapppear.

I Wish They Never Came Into My Fucking Life And Made This Side Of Myself Even Fucking Worse.

I Think O’saa Would Give Good Hugs.