I've Said All Of These And Yes God Has Abandoned Me - Tumblr Posts
BNHA Characters as Things I’ve Said
Mina : That's a t-pose ma'm. The audacity you have to use it in my presence is appalling.
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Aoyama : I cannot breath because I will smell you.
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Random Person : I just saw my life flash before my eyes.
Monoma : That must've been hard. Seeing something so pathetic—
—
Aizawa : I stayed up till one.
*Rando gives a really look*
Aizawa : Just kidding. I stayed up till two.
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Bakugo *Looking at Ida, Momo, and Todoroki* : The Brittany club isn't responding.
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Midoriya : It's called overachieving. Now sit there and be quiet.
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Kaminari : I smash more than fingers guys.
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Bakugo : Can I beat people for things I want?
Random Person : Then you'd be a thug.
Kaminari remembering the part in star wars where Yoda hits R-2 with a stick : Or Yoda.
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Shigiraki : Sit over there and be quiet you stinky dirt child.
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Aizawa : I didn't go to sleep late. I went to sleep early.
Aizawa : In the morning.
Aizawa : At three o'clock.
—
Shinso pointing to his cat : I love you. Don't ever change for nobody.‟
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Uraraka calmly pressing a chocolate bar to an angry person's cheek : Have some chocolate.
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Bakugo : Put those tits in a bag and let's go.
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Yaoyorozu : The only issue is my Gucci thighs.
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Uraraka : He might've been a hunk, but he was a butthole.
Tsu : She... wasn't pretty, but she tried.
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Rando : I'm hungry.
Bakugo : Then starve.
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Midoriya : Eri, cover your ears.
Midoriya : *proceeds to scream the f bomb*
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Aoyama : I am a celestial body. I too am made from stardust.
—
Jiro : How's it peaceful if you're doing physical activity?
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Kirishima singing to the beat of Can't Stop the Feeling : I got this feeling, inside my balls.
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Shigiraki : Don't talk about my emo boy band like that.
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Bakugo : I'm allergic to dumb bitches.
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Monoma : I despise you. You're such a lesser thing.
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Rando : I have big stuff going on.
Midoriya pouting : *mumbles* I'll kick you in the big stuff.
—
Rando : I'm offended.
Bakugo : Good. Be offended.
—
Mineta : Your phone listens to you and gives you adds based on what it hears.
Mineta with his phone next to his mouth : Boobies.
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Kaminari : I act on impulse.
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Todoroki or Sato : How much sugar can I eat before I'm allowed to die?
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Rado : People get married for different reasons.
Dabi : To ruin their lives.
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Mina : *in Russian accent* You are not badass. You are bad and you have bad ass but you are not badass.
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Kaminari : Don't hump a whale cause it'll humpback.
Kaminari : *Proceeds to do a weird finger-gun chair wiggle*
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Sero : My burger is so juicy I almost don't need a drink.
—
Kaminari : Flair up like my butthole.
BNHA Characters As Things I’ve Said Part 2
Part 1
Small note, everything a rando is saying is not something I've said.
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Kaminari : Anything's edible if you try.
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Shinso to his cat : Hangry little turd, I won't let you starve.
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Cami : *sarcastically* That makes all of the sense. Big brain energy.
—
Monoma : We're not clapping for you. I don't encourage your existence.
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Mina : My poop tubes woke up and chose violence.
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Sero : A Frappuccino or a cappuccino—
Kaminari : Or a WAPaccino
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Dabi : Does everyone get married in their twenties?
Dabi : I'm gonna live alone for the rest of my life.
—
Rando talking about the lights : Hey, can you kick this one up?
Bakugo : *Proceeds to kick the lamp*
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Midoriya : My life is so boring. Like, my parents and grandparents have done crazy stuff, borderline illegal stuff.
Midoriya : The most exciting thing that's happened to me is a global pandemic and that's the world, not me...
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Sero : What did I do as a kid? Well, I was a crack child.
Sero : But I didn't have crack so, that's impressive, I guess.
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Kirishima to a dog : Be a little more coordinated with yo-self.
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Kaminari : Ahh, I see what you say.
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Bakugo : Not that it's a competition, but I win.
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Momo : It's the superior choice.
Momo : Clearly.
Note : Also works with Kaminari but only if it is, in fact, not the superior or correct choice.
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Bakugo : Just sit over there in your bland sweater and white skirt.
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Rando : You're blind.
Kaminari : Yeah I'm blind, cause I don't see how that's true. *Starts head-banging in victory*
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Rando : That's fake.
Mina : No, it's real, just fake.
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Rando : What are we gonna do?
Bakugo : Nothing. If they can't defend themselves then they're a lost cause.
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Uraraka : If the doctor told me my bmi was high, I'd be like ‟well not in space it's not.‟
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Dabi : I'm hopeless not romantic.
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Rando : You suck at this.
Bakugo : *throws a chicken nugget at their eye*
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Uraraka : I have a secret talent.
Uraraka : It doesn't matter how long it takes me to get dressed, I always come out looking like a homeless man.
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Kaminari : Finger guns.
Kaminari : Just imagine them, they're there.
Note : This was said over text but I'd honestly say it in person too.
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Koda : Thanks, you're a deer. I'll feed you seeds later.
Note : Yes. I said that to a person.
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Mina : By my coochie, no I don't.
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Aizawa : I need to get dressed but getting dressed requires taking my clothes off and taking my clothes off requires movement and movement requires energy and energy requires sleep and I didn't sleep last night so I don't have energy so I can't move so I can't take my clothes off so I can't get dressed so I guess I'm staying here.
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Tokoyami : Oh, it's pink and vile.
Note : Also can be Aoyama but only if it's about Mina and it's the beginning of the year, right after she burned his cape.
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Bakugo *talking about babies* : It didn't come out of my butt so I ain't changing its diaper.
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Shinso : I play peekaboo with my cat child because real children are vile.
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Momo : There's a difference between civilized and uptight. You are the latter.
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Kaminari : My weight is five thousand kilometric pounds and I can lift two Oreos. My zodiac sign is Oscar Mayer wiener and my blood type is red.
BNHA Characters As Things I've Said Part 3
Part 1 • Part 2
Small note, everything a rando is saying is not something I've said.
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Bakugo : You're stupid.
Bakugo : That's right, pout.
Note : I said this to a dog but Bakugo would probably say it to anyone.
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Eri : Look at my freaking cat's butt.
Eri : Touch it for strength.
Note : Most likely Aizawa's cat.
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Midoriya : I don't have braces anymore. Now what? Braces were part of my character design.
Rando : What?
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Rando : Small world isn't it?
Aizawa : No.
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Bakugo : I'm allergic to kindness.
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Jiro to Kaminari probably : Speak your words.
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Kaminari : I like that song.
Kaminari : I like that song real good.
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Kirishima : He was trying to show off but it didn't happen, so that's funny.
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Shigiraki : Shut up. No one likes laughter.
Shigiraki : Laughter is disgusting.
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Bakugo : Just sit there in your sad, miserable existence.
Rando : I'm not sad, I'm watching Markiplier play Among Us.
Bakugo : Markiplier is a lie.
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Todoroki : Betty White's dead.
Todoroki : She looks like a gravestone.
Note : I love Betty White, she was great.
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Alexa : *Starts talking randomly for the millionth time*
Uraraka : Alexa shut up. You're stupid and no one cares about your opinion.
Note : I headcannon Uraraka hates Alexa. It's like a rivalry.
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Rando : What would you do if I—
Dabi : Nothing.
Rando : What? But I didn't even—
Dabi : Nothing because I don't care.
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Kaminari : Butt is no longer funny, anus is.
Kaminari : See.
Kaminari : I've grown.
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Mina : Jeez, you scared the tits outta me.
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Bakugo : I identify as not to be trifled with.
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Rando : *Slaps him really hard*
Todoroki : *Unaffected and uncaring* Thank you.
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Kaminari : Kiwi? More like kiwaii *excessive laughter*
Note : It's pronounced : Key-why-E A cute kiwi.
—
Jiro : *Sarcastically* In my defense, Ben and been sound kinda similar.
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Rando : Are you having a good time?
Kirishima to his dog : I thought she was talking to me and I was like, ‟I'm sitting in a chair doing nothing, soo...
Kirishima : Yeah.‟
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Bakugo : You do you.
Bakugo : I'm still gonna insult you though, when I think of good ones.
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Mina or Kaminari : What in the nicknack pattywack ballsack are you talking about?
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Shinso : Cat, you just need to understand that you cannot get food whenever you're hungry.
Shinso : You're not a human being, you don't get fat privileges.
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Rando : This actually hurts me—
Bakugo : Then be hurt.
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Rando on TV : America runs on Dunkn'!
Jiro : No it doesn't.
Jiro : America doesn't run.
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Aizawa who probably had ten shots of expresso : I am existing in a different plane of existence.
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Bakugo : Glad you told me so I can do nothing about it.
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Kaminari : I'm not stupid, just mentally incapable.
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Aoyama : I don't need others to recognize me because I know my worth and it's priceless.
Rando : You're worth nothing.
Aoyama : *Unfazed* Priceless.
—
Rando : Don't kick me!
Monoma : I didn't. I hit you with me shoe and my foot just happened to be inside of it.
—
Bakugo : I refuse.
Rando : You can't refuse it's—
Bakugo : Yet here I stand, refusing.
