James Barnes Smut - Tumblr Posts

FREAK LIKE ME- J.B BARNES

Pairing:  Boyfriend! Bucky  x  Female! Reader

Word Count: 690

Summary: bucky wants to try something new in the bedroom, wanting to film you so he can watch it during his long missions away from you. lights camera, action…

Warnings: fingering, overstim, smut implied, petnames, swearing, bucky  licks ur cum off his fingers 0_0, daddy kink, subspace, pornography, praise kink

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Play Along (Smut)

Warnings: unprotected smut, little it’s bit of exhibitionist kink if you squint (Wrap before you tap), i think that's it (let me know if there's more)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky are assigned together on an under cover mission and things aren't what you thought they'd be

A/N: This was my first time writing smut so be gentle with me. Reader does use female pronouns

Main Master-List

Jogging down the corridor of the building, Y/N glanced down at her watch. Late, of course. One of the top four most skilled Shield Agents, in espionage and yet punctuality is not her forte, at least for debriefings that is.

Picking up her pace to a sprint she glanced at the numbers written along the meeting rooms before stopping at room 407, straightening herself out before opening the door. As the door opened she was met by the glaring eye of Nick Fury, who stood at the head of the long table before glancing around the room, noticing Natasha, Clint, and Bucky all seated at various points around the meeting table.

“Well look who decided to grace us with her presents” he started. “What happened, get caught up talking to the level 1 agents again?” He followed her as she took a seat next to Bucky. Giving him a light nudge and smile, to which she was met with the same smile and light nudge back.

“Ya know I was gonna lie and say that but honestly Nick, my alarm didn’t go off so my 20 minute desk nap became a 25 minute desk nap. To which I apologize” she hummed, grabbing a case file from the center of the table.

From quickly glancing at the file Y/N let out a whistle “Damn I pity the poor soul who’s doing the deep cov-” she stopped looking around the room, noticing everyone was staring at her with an amused smile on their face. “You’re fucking kidding me?!” she shrieked “You’re sending me in deep cover to Strasbourg?!” she moved to lean against the table.

“You and me both L/N” Bucky matched her enthusiasm.

“Why are you sending us?! No offense Barnes, but do you remember what happened the last time we did deep cover together.” Bucky smirked at her response, remembering. “Yeah Y/N we remember, Laura and I are still trying to buff out the dent in the gun you borrowed, besides are you afraid you’ll have to play real Wife to your Work Husband?” Clint smirked watching as Y/N pointed across the table at him, pointing her finger accusingly.

A blush spread across her and Bucky’s faces as she pointed back to Clint “We are no different than you and Natasha, besides that was not my fault” she moved to point to Bucky before poking him in his shoulder “I told Bucky not to grab the bathtub when he chu-”

He pointed back at her, “Me?! You told me to gra-”

“REGARDLESS of the damages done to any weaponry or safe houses, Barton and Romanoff are too well known in Strasbourg. Hence why you and Barnes are the only other two agents qualified for the job.” Fury tapped the table causing a projection to appear in the center of the table.

“L/N, meet Emilia Carver otherwise known as “The Eye”...she sees everything and is one of the most elusive ghosts in Europe.” The projection showed a lady of similarity to Y/N, of course there were a few things off about the two but for the most part they could have been related. Clicking the next slide it showed the same girl lying on the ground in some room.

“Last week Barnes and Barton found her dead in bunker just off the coast of Naples, you will go in her place with the Winter Soldier to secure a package.” he clicked the slide showing a man “This is Nathan Lark, we have reason to believe that he holds sensitive information about the inner working of our black-ops team and their current locations and targets, secure the package and then the missions over”

“That's all great Fury, but how long? Because I made plans to go to Disney with the family” Clint glanced up from the file.

“For you and Romanoff, a few weeks. You’ll just be on stand by working comms and technicalities. For L/N and Barnes, a month at the least.”

Dragging her eyes from the screen over to Bucky they locked eyes for a moment before Y/N spoke “Won’t it look odd, The Eye and the Winter Soldier together?”

“No” Bucky spoke before Fury could “I’ll fill you in on specifics on the way to Strasbourg, but for now…” he swallowed “the two had a shared history…” he looked back down to the file.

A laugh left Clint “Sure if that's what you wanna call it Bucky” looking over to Clint, Y/N furrowed her brows before looking over to Bucky who just shook his head.

“I’ll tell you later”

Y/N just nodded looking over the file once more before letting out a sigh before closing the file.

“When do we leave?”

______________________________________

Looking out the window, Y/N tapped her foot against the floor of the train as she readjusted the sunglasses that had slid down her nose. Her focus shifted from the window to Bucky who had taken up the seat beside her.

The two sat in silence before Y/N spoke first, “So what did you mean, by The Eye and The Winter Soldier have history?” she watched as Bucky avoided her gaze.

A laugh came from the intercom before a groan filled Y/N and Bucky’s ears “What fun conversations always start when you ask an assassin how they know another assassin”

Pulling his own intercom from his ear, Bucky let out a sigh. “Hydra used to loan The Winter Soldier out to do freelance work… a way to keep a steady floor of money without using the governments” he leaned over pulling Y/N’s intercom out from her ear as well. “I met Emilia on a loan out both of us were doing. She was going to work from the inside and I was gonna work from the outside making sure she was clear…. Hydra thought we worked so well together that they kept loaning me to her on missions.”

He groaned before fully turning to face Y/N, “Listen… we are both professional agents so I’m just gonna be straight with you L/N. Emilia and The Winter Soldier used to be an item among the Assassin and Ghost community. So when this train lands in Strasbourg we have to be all in 100% to this… we were very….” he struggled with the words to describe the strange relationship.

“Physically forward” Y/N guessed

“For lack of a better word, yes”

“Is that how Clint knows?” she cocked her eyebrow

He nodded before placing his intercom back in his ear. “Something like that”

Following Bucky’s actions. “Did you two have a nice conversation?” Clint’s voice hummed.

“So what was she like?” Y/N moved her head to look back out the window.

“Forward” Bucky immediately shot back

“Is that gonna be our word of the day?” Y/N smirked before letting her thoughts trail for a moment, “If you two were so widely known, are we sure that I’ll pass as Emilia?”

“We’ve got you covered Y/N” Natasha's voice followed in her ear along with the clicking of a keyboard “We wiped all previously known images of Emilia from all possible databases, they’ll have to go with it.”

“Thanks Nat.” “Just doing my job…” Y/N could feel Natasha’s smirk “ we’ll touch base with the two of you in a few days about what to do next. For now, get to the hotel and establish yourselves.” With those last words Natasha and Clint clicked off the intercoms leaving Buck and Y/N by themselves as the train approached its destination. Standing from his spot, Bucky grabbed down both of their bags from the overhead holder before handing one off to Y/N.

“Oof.” she groaned “What did you pack?” she readjusted her grip to hold the bag with one hand,

“The basics” he pulled out a pair of sunglasses for himself before he slipped them on before he took Y/N’s free hand in his leading them off of the train and onto the platform.

Looking around at the platform Y/N took in her surroundings before leaning over to Bucky, “You’ve got fans.” she hummed motioning over to a pack of men seated at the small cafe, they kept looking between her and Bucky, then other to the exit of the platform.

Unlacing his hand from hers, he slung his arm over her shoulder before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “The true welcome for wanted assassins” Y/N smiled chuckling.

“If we leave, are they gonna follow us?” She bent her knees slightly to set the bag she held on the ground before she turned her body into his, wrapping her arms around his neck still smiling.

“More than likely.” He glanced around pulling her closer to his form.

“I suppose we have to play along with everything now don’t we?” she leaned up to his ear. “Let the games begin” she unwrapped herself from his form going back to pick up her bag “So what are the chances we get to the hotel without a fight” she laced her free hand back into his.

“About a fifty-fifty chance.” Bucky pulled her towards the exit watching as the group of men stood up from their spot, walking towards them. “Make that thirty-seventy” he glanced over his shoulder,

“How about twenty-eighty” Y/N gripped his hand a bit tighter motioning to the two men who walked directly in front of them.

Gripping her hand back, neither of them said a word as the group of men that surrounded them, brought them to an SUV.

“Is this really necessary?” Bucky huffed as they stopped in front of the vehicle.

“Just get in the car” one man said, taking the bags from Bucky and Y/N’s hands, before Bucky could comment back, Y/N opened the door to the car.

“Oh come on Soldier. What's a little fun?” she chuckled getting into the SUV, with his eyes still trained on the man Bucky climbed into the car.

The two sat in silence snuggled close to one another as Y/N glanced over her shoulder. “You know Barnes, I don’t think I’ve seen you be this touchy with anyone. Even at office parties” she mumbled

“Like I said, very forward…” he hummed. “So did you get a chance to look at how many cars there are?”

“one car in front, two behind,” she tucked herself further into Bucky’s side. “Who did you piss off the last time you were here?”

“That's… a very long list, at least we’re heading to the right hotel” he looked down at Y/N’s hand as he took it in his hand. “Who do we have to thank for the escort?” he spoke to the driver and passenger, never taking his eyes off of Y/N’s hand.

He was only met with silence as the car pulled up to the hotel. Getting out of the car first, the men who had followed them formed almost like a pathway into the hotel, stepping out first Bucky held his hand out for Y/N to help her out.

“Go inside and go to the second conference room to the left” one of the men said.

“And if we don’t?” Bucky challenged

“Go inside” He repeated before Bucky pulled Y/N into his side as they walked into the hotel following the instructions of the goons.

As they approached the conference room Y/N stopped Bucky’s hand before he could open the door.

“What if we’re being made?” Y/N’s eyes widened as she whispered her grip on Bucky’s arm tightening

“We haven’t” he placed a hand over hers

“But what if we’re about to be and whoever this is knows what the real Emilia is like” she bit the inside of her cheek.

“Y/N we’ll be fine” he gave her a soft smile, he placed a hand on her shoulder “You ready?” Y/N nodded to him, as he opened the door.

Creeping into the room, they were met with a chuckle.

“Emilia Carver, I haven’t seen you since you were just a girl.” the voice called.

Eyes flying to the front of the room, they landed on a woman, older, graying dark hair, and cold eyes.

“Dorthy” Y/N breathed out, Bucky’s eyes flickered between Y/N and the woman.

“You know Dorthy Underwood?” Bucky looked between the two.

“Now, now you’re not the only person I’ve been in contact with.” Dottie stood from her spot. “Like I said I haven’t seen her since I was a girl.” walking over to Y/N she pulled her into a hug “I hear my Goddaughter is in town and you think I’m not gonna pay you a visit” she squeezed her shoulders “Now let me take a look at you” pulled away she examined Y/N.

“My Emilia I haven’t seen you since you were ten and now look at you” she took a strand of Y/N’s hair and twirled it around her finger “Such a sophisticated looking young lady, I hope you’ve been treating her well Soldier” Dottie glanced over to Bucky “Because if I hear that you’ve been mistreating my goddaughter, I would be very very unhappy” Bucky stiffened his stance

“He’s treating me just fine” Y/N smiled, eyeing Bucky “I assume you sent the escort, you scared the crap out of us”

“Oh my dear didn’t mean too, now go relax” she turned her attention back to Y/N “I hope the two of you don’t mind I upgraded your room” she smiled. Letting Y/N walk back over to Bucky “The two of you are here on business?” “Yes.” Bucky took Y/N’s hand back in his hand, squeezing it tightly “You as well?” He watched as Dottie nodded “My Emilia would you give me and the Soldier a moment please?”

Stepping out into the hallway Y/N made a mental note to tell Clint and Natasha of Dottie’s presents the next time they spoke.

Watching as Y/N left, Bucky turned his attention back to Dottie who walked over to him. “I mean what I said, just because I haven’t seen her since she was a girl doesn’t mean I don’t still care for Emilia, as I said she is my goddaughter after all” she took the time to look over Bucky’s attire, the classic half leather jacket/vest he donned, she reached up to fix the collar of his jacket. “I know of your relationship with my Goddaughter, how you two have your public relations and your interests together, all I ask… not while I’m in the hotel” she pulled on his collar. “I know that I can’t stop the two of you from whatever it is you want to do” she let go of his jacket walking back over to the other side of the table “but I am always aware…” she motioned to the door that he could go.

As he opened the door to join Y/N in the hallway Dottie called out to him “I hope the two of you will join me for dinner at some point” before he closed the door and led Y/N over to the elevators.

One of the men from before closed on the elevator for them before he spoke “Floor 14” before the door opened and Bucky and Y/N stepped in.

As soon as the doors closed and the two were alone Bucky signaled for Y/N to be quite before he pulled a small device out from his pocket and scanned around the elevator before he stopped it.

“How the fuck do you know Dorthy Underwood?” He turned to Y/N.

“I’ve read the Shield files on her. Did you know that she was Emilia’s Godmother?” Bucky shook his head “Do you think she’s gonna be an issue?” “I hope not, our records show she had no history with the target but we’ll have Nat and Clint double check…. When we get to the room we have to do a bug sweep” Bucky ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“This is Emilia’s godmother. Do you really think she’d bug the room?”

“We’re not in the Shield room anymore, besides she's not the only one in the hotel who could be watching us.” Bucky moved to press the button to start the elevator back up.

___________________________________________

After an hour-long sweep of the hotel room, they had found two bugs they couldn’t rid the room of. A microphone and camera placed all the way up on the chandelier of the room. It wasn’t easy pretending to look for bugs the camera noticed but somehow Bucky and Y/N did it.

Relaxing back onto the couch, her legs bend into it as she got cozy, Y/N smiled for the camera signaling over to Bucky, pulling him to her, her hands roamed his chest as she leaned into his ear

“We need to have Nat and Clint track back the bugs, maybe they could disable the mic and put the camera on a loop” she whispered, Bucky let out a chuckle as one of his hand moved to hold her waist and the other went to gently rub circles on with his thumb on her thigh that rested closest to him.

“What you don’t wanna play along anymore Y/N” he joked leaning into her neck,

“I mean unless you wanna play so far along you have to fake fuck me” Bucky’s movement against her thigh came to a halt “Bucky?” she whispered again “Please tell me tha-”

“Like I said Y/N” his voice became so low Y/N could barely hear it “Very public relations” he moved to look her in the eyes.

“Even if there were bugs in the room?!” she quietly shrieked, he just nodded. Y/N let out a small groan resting her forehead against Bucky’s “Its just faking it right?” Bucky nodded again before he spoke.

“We don’t have to Y/N” he started “He cou-”

“No, we gotta make sure this is believable right?” she cut him off

“Y/N…” he grumbled “You have to understand the stuff we would do…. It…” he paused “It could be a lot, and I don’t wanna hurt y-”

Taking his face in her hands, Y/N’s fingers danced along his jaw as she pulled him into a heated kiss shifting to straddle his lap. Pulling away from his reddened lips she leaned back to his ear “I’m an adult Buck, I’ll tell you if it becomes too much” Bucky nodded before recapturing her lips in his.

His hands continued to roam her body before hovering just above her ass as they continued their heated makeout. Y/N pulled her lips from his before moving to kiss down his neck “you know you can squeeze it if you want” she mumbled “If we’re faking this, we might as well give the camera a show”

Taking her word for it, his calloused hands squeezed Y/N’s ass, gripping onto it for dear life as she kissed her way down his neck leaving an array of hickeys in her wake.

Letting out a groan as he heard Y/N lips part from his skin, Bucky moved one hand to hold her by the small of her back and the other to wrap around her leg before he stood.

Letting out a squeak, Y/N kept her face buried in the crook of Bucky’s neck sucking a deep purple spot onto it.

Making his way over to the bed, Bucky paused just before his knees hit the edge before he turned around to sit back down, “Do you like this shirt?” he mumbled onto Y/N’s skin.

“What?” she hummed without paying attention.

“Do you like this shirt?” he watched as Y/N struggled to answer the question

“It- it's a shirt I don’t really know ho-” before she could finish his hands reached up to the top collar of her shirt before his grip tightened and ripped it down the back.

Letting out a gasp Y/N recoiled from Bucky’s neck gripping onto the fabric that now struggled to stay upon her shoulders. Taking a few moments to collect her thoughts before she looked at Bucky with a smile on her face struggling off the shirt, leaving her in her bra before she dove back to him, capturing his lips.

Had she known she’d be having fake sex with her hot co-worker she at least would have worn something other than her granny panties and her ratty travel bra.

Placing a hand on her back, Bucky flipped Y/N over so her back was rested on the bed before he started to strip away at his own clothes as Y/N discarded the rest of her’s. She turned to crawl upwards to the headboard, and so she could hide the blush that covered her face knowing that it would only intensify watching Bucky strip.

She was halfway to the head board before she felt the mattress dip and a cool hand on her waist, turning she was met with the casual smirk that rested upon Bucky’s lips. Which were now red and swollen from how hard the two had been kissing before.

Pulling her in for another kiss, Y/N shifted so her back once again rested on the bed before Bucky pulled away, grabbing a cover from the bed and pulling it over the two of them. He moved to her ear whispering softly. “I’m gonna pinch your waist, and that's when your gonna-”

She cut him off “Oh Mr. Winter Soldier sir, you’re so big” she laughed in a fake high pitched voice.

He laughed, dipping his head down to her neck. Her arms wrapped around his form, one going to hold his shoulder and the other to the base of his neck. Feeling the pressure on her waist, Y/N let out a small moan for the camera before burying her face into his neck. Bucky followed after letting out a groan as he started to shift to make it look like the bed was moving ever so slightly.

This motion continued for a few moments before Bucky let out a frustrated groan in Y/N’s ear.

“Buck are yo-”

“Don’t talk Y/N” he mumbled

“Bu-” she tried to continue

“Fuck it!” he hummed “I’m just gonna fuck you” his voice deepened

“What?!” she shifted

“Y/N, I like you… and this” he groaned again at the thought “Do you like me too because I really like you and I would be lying to myself if I said that I haven’t thought of beneath me like this but if you don’t like me and I have to continue to fake this then-”

“James.” she stopped him moving to hold his jaw “I trust you” she smiled widely.

“Great” before either of them could utter another word Bucky’s head dipped down to devour her lips as his hand moved to tear away at her bra and panties. Earning another gasp from Y/N, taking the opportunity at hand Bucky’s tongue explored Y/N’s mouth. A low moan came from the Bucky as he took in everything.

Her body.

Her scent.

Her taste.

Everything.

One hand was brought up to cup her face as the cool metal of the other trailed down between her legs, lightly ghosting over her heat before they slowly circled her clit.

Letting out a breathless moan Y/N’s hands gripped at Bucky’s shoulder.

“Buck please…” she whined into their kiss “I need you” she pulled away to rest her head against his.

Letting out a chuckle he nodded, moving to sit up he slid his boxers down, allowing Y/N to throw the remains of her bra and panties from the bed. As soon as Bucky had thrown his boxers off he leaned back down, attacking Y/N’s neck, and teasing her heat. Letting her slick coat his dick before he whispered in his ear.

“Remember what I said earlier, if its too much-” She shook her head “I believe those were my words” she hummed placing a light peck upon his lips. “Show me what I’ve been missing soldier”

A smile graced his lips as he bent back down to support his weight on one arm before he guided himself into her entrance, slowly.

Groans and moans filled the air as they adjusted to the new feeling each was given. Y/N’s hands squeezed at Bucky’s shoulders as she tried to relax onto his size, and Bucky’s head hung low kissing along Y/N’s neck as he was overcome with the feeling of plush and warmth.

“Are you okay” he kissed the shell of her ear as she nodded “Are you sure”

“Y-yeah” she stuttered “You-....You’re just…. A lot” she hummed trying to form words, she could feel Bucky smile against her skin as one of her hands moved to tangle her fingers in the hair at the base of his neck. She would never tell this to Bucky’s face but she almost missed his long hair… the thought of gripping onto it as he made her feel euphoric.

“Y/N?” she was pulled out of her haze when Bucky whispered her name, lightly kissing along her jaw. “Are you still with me Sugar?”

A smile overtook her lips at the nickname before she spoke. “I’ve never been better” she pulled him back in for a kiss.

Growing bold, she moved her legs from framing his waist to wrapping around it and locking at the ankles before she pulled him even closer, allowing him to bottom out.

“Fuck!” ripped itself from Bucky’s throat as he pulled away from their kiss resting his forehead against hers. “Fuck, you….you” he chuckled slowly, almost painfully pulled his hips back from her before snapping them back into her.

Moans tore out from both of their mouths as he rocked back and forth into Y/N, her grip at his waist tightening with every thrust. His metal arm rested her hip bone lightly holding it down as the other went to tangle itself into the hair at Y/N scalp lightly tugging at it.

“If I had know… that fake fucking… Oh SHIT!” Y/N moaned as his vibranium hand moved from her hip to circle her clit.

“You were saying Sugar?” he smirked with a shit eating grin

“Fuck Bucky!” she moved to bury her head into the crook of his neck “Oh god Buck, don’t… god don’t stop please” she whined into his neck.

“I don’t intend to do” he kissed the side of his head, resting his head against hers.

Y/N’s feet moved to unlock her ankles before sliding down to his ass, feeling, guiding him as he fucked into her. As if she could pull him even closer if it were possible.

As Bucky’s actions continued his thrusts grew more erratic as he neared his end, moving his hand to pinch at Y/N’s clit a scream ripped from her throat.

“I wanna feel you Sugar” he hummed as Y/N let her orgasm wash over her, Bucky moaned feeling the way her body shuddered beneath him as her heat clenched around his dick before his end overtook him as he gave one more thrust into Y/N.

Pulling his face away from her, he moved his hand from her hair to cup her jaw, prying her away from his shoulder. He entangled their lips into a soft kiss, allowing both of them to slowly come down from their highs before he pulled out of her and collapsed at her side. His arms moved to wrap around her waist tugging her into his body he continued to kiss down her neck and shoulders as Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders to steady her racing head. She chuckled.

“What were you gonna say earlier Sugar?” he hummed as he kissed back up her shoulders and neck.

Moving to rest her head against his chest she snuggled into him before she whispered “Well I was going to say, if I had known that a mission like this would lead to fake fucking, lead to real fucking… I would have requested a mission like this from Fury a while ago”

He laughed, moving to adjust a few pillows under their heads.

“I hope whoever’s listening and watching had as much fun of a time as we did” Y/N laughed at his words before her eye’s closed, as she drifted off to sleep.

Smiling to himself Bucky traced a pattern along Y/N shoulder as she slept, chuckling before he too closed his eyes. His final thought before sleep overtook him was that this was going to be an interesting mission after all.

————-Maybe————

Description

You work alongside Matt and Foggy at the law firm. Of course, as one of the most successful lawyers in the city the one and only Tony Stark would recruit you. As you are trying to find a meaning of your life you find life in someone. It may be a rocky start for you two but maybe it’s worth taking.

Chapter 8:

After that night, well I should say day. After that day things changed. Kidd was going on trial for the murders and you bet your ass I was going to be there fighting for Mr. Miller. I moved back to my apartment and with a little help from Wanda and Karen I organized my schedule with Lydia. It has only been a day and I feel like dying. I moved back in the morning and by lunch time I was back in the office with the team. That afternoon after getting everything situated on things I missed Karen picked up Lydia from Wanda and brought her to stay in the office while we started our case on Kidd. Lydia was typically a good baby but when the attention was all on her or when she was sleeping. I had to leave early so now I am stuck at home with a baby. Nat was okay. A little help from Bruce goes a long way. Tony offered to extend my stay but I explained to him there was no need anymore. “Yes you can have Lydia while I see her” Wanda called me as soon as I got home. Talking my ear off and now she offered herself again to keep an eye out on Lydia so I can go to therapy. I am so thankful for her and Karen but god, it's 7 and it's been a long day and all I want to do is lay down and sleep.

“Great. I will be there at 9 to pick her up. After your appointment can you accompany me to mine?”

“Of course Wanda. Now get some rest”

“But it's just-” I hung up the phone before she could continue talking. “Ready to go to sleep?” I ask an already asleep baby. She skipped her nap thankfully so she was out like a light once I placed her in her playmat. I grabbed her and gently placed her on my bed and created a fort around her. It feels nice spending the night back home. I took a quick shower and went to bed.

In the morning of course Lydia decided to wake me up at 7 in the morning. “You are messing up my schedule, did you know that?” She responded with a cry. “Okay, okay. Let's get you some food.” a quick change and on our way to the kitchen we go. “I don’t have a chair for you” Can’t have her on her playmat, she might learn how to crawl and it's not safe for a baby here. “Guess you are going to be my suchef” I place a 2 slice of bread in the toaster while holding her bottle with my shoulder so I could use my only available arm to make my breakfast. A strawberry toast will be enough for this morning.

“Hey-” I am grateful my friends have a second sense. “That baby on your hip looks out of order” I roll my eyes at Matt. I kind of hope now the knife I threw at him wouldn’t have missed.

“Shut up. You scared me. Here” I extend Lydia to him and push her into his arms. “Let me wash her bottle so I can get ready” With the scare I dropped her bottle. “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking up on you” I know by his look that there was more to his story but I didn’t have time for it right now. I hand him the bottle and as he begins feeding Lydia I start on my toast. “Haven’t seen you in days other than yesterday, just wanted to check in.”

“Well everything seems to be back to normal, other than the baby of course.” She is such a good baby. Ugh.

“What's wrong?” I shake my head ignoring him as I walk into my room. I go into my room to get ready. Once I am done I pack up Lydias diaper bag and grab her some clothes so I can change her into some more appropriate summer clothing. By that time the clock hit 8:40. “I should get going. Someone has to do all the work in the office”

“Tony invited me over for lunch. I will be in this afternoon so show you I can do all the work you did in a week in just an hour” With a laugh he walks out the door just in time for Wanda to show up.

“Is the little girl ready?” Before I could get her up and hand her over to Wanda she dropped all her things to pick her up. “Aww where did you get this dress?” It was an all white with white flower detailing dress.

“Long story. It's a keepsake.”

“Umm. Ok” I don’t know if she just didn’t want to ask or if she just wanted to get back to Lydia but usually she would persist until I tell her.

“She already downed her first milk. I will be back around 10:30. So if you just want to give her a snack in the span of that”

“Got it” I chuckle, grabbing my things and saying my goodbyes. Took my 15 minutes to be at her office door knocking.

“Goodmorning Y/N please take a seat” I feel like a little kid waiting to be told wrong everytime I am on this couch. “How are you?” I hate this conversation starters

“Good. Can we get through this please?”

“Very well” she opens her notepad and prepares her pen. “I hear the latest on your case” fuck.

“Yes. Bad guy tried to kill me just like he killed innocent people. In the middle of all that I got the guardianship of Mr. Miller's baby, that is until her grandparents come and picked her up. Bad guy is in jail. The end”

“Are you doing okay with all of that?”

“Yes. Bad guy in jail so no more threats to my life. Baby is an adjustment but in a couple days it will be resolved” There it is, the first note in her notepad. I think we spent the whole session talking about the case and how I was feeling every second until now. I know how I felt. Maybe I didn’t take the right actions towards every feeling but I have to admit taking the time to associate myself with what has happened in the past days was good for me.

“It seems like the baby bothers you more than the whole threat towards your life” that is crazy. “Remember you have a difficult time understanding feelings” Bullshit. “Also remember to listen and not denie or fight against my words” Fuck.

“The baby will be off to her grandparents soon, no need to care for it if it's stay is temporary” it's true. I like the little baby but I am just her pitstop to people who will love and care for her better than I could ever do.

“You are correct but you also know this has to do with your feeling towards change?” How dare she ask me. Ain’t she the therapist to figure this out? “With the session you have taken you have shown aggression but at the same time sadness at change. You can’t accept it.” Wrong

“Okay I will work on that” Check. The topic is getting frustrating and I tend to let it out with words so to save her and me of any embarrassment I prefer changing the subject.

“Alright we will move on” Another note to her notepad. “So last time we spoke about your past. You didn’t want to get into it a lot but you did tell me something I didn’t catch on until now” Fuck. I said too much. “You don’t want to go back home, why?”

“I have a life here already. Nothing is waiting for me back there and if this is all about honestly well, that place is not my home. It's just that, a place”

“Even a place can hold a lot of answers. I think for this session you can take a visit back home. Take your time but I don’t want you to come back until you do” Hell yeah. That can be days, weeks, mon- “Never mind. I will give you till this weekend to do that” She rushes me to the door and I couldn’t even talk back as the door meets my face. What just happened? There is no way in hell I can do that this weekend. I let that go to the back of my mind. It's Tuesday and I still have 3 days until then, I will figure something out before then. I drive down to my house and see Wanda playing with Lydia on the ground.

“She didn’t want to take a nap”

“As long as she is not crying and grumpy” And no she was not. “Ready to go?” Wanda nods, placing Lydia in her car seat. “Where are we going anyways?”

“It's a surprise” This surprise didn’t last long. As soon as we parked right infront of it and she took one look at my face waiting for my reaction I knew I guessed right. How could she have kept this a secret? Does everyone in the tower know about this? She didn’t even give any sign of it.

“The doctor will be right in” The kind nurse said, closing the door as she left the room we were in.

“When did you find out?” She was laying on the bed calmly as possible

“3 weeks ago. I felt a little change the day I found out. Mine is not normal like everyone else but I decided that I wanted to enjoy it my way.” Lydia was looking around the dark room, surprisingly not scared of the dark. Most babies like to see their surroundings and get uncomfortable in the darkness.

“Does everyone know?” She shakes her head. A big grin appears in her face as she pulls out her phone.

“I want to do a reveal to everyone and I am going to need your help” I gave her a quick nod before the doctor appeared.

“Well let's check how the baby is doing” I look over to Wanda and for a moment I black out. I feel like the one who should be nervous is her, not me. She is having a baby. A human being is growing inside of her and she is going to be a great mother. That was the whole reason she wanted to spend more time with Lydia. That sneaky little thing. “The baby is doing great. Great heartbeat, strong” Wanda smiles proudly like if she had gotten an A in a project “ You are 18 weeks as of yesterday and you know what that means?” She can’t calculate dates right. “We can find out the gender today” She grabs my hands shaking it with excitement

“Can you write it in an envelope, keeping it a secret?” She really wanted to go all out on this which I don’t blame her. Now that I see how much she craves this I am starting to get excited too.

“Of course. Go ahead and change and the nurse upfront will have that for you” We thank the doctor before he leaves. Wanda changes and all the car ride home her smile still doesn’t fade.

“I want those confetti twisty things and this” She shows me her phone real quick so I can go back to focusing on the road. “ The color smoke for pictures” Her smile and picture showing didn’t stop until we were in the tower. She wanted it to be a surprise for everyone else. The envelope was saved in Lydias car seat pocket. “Vis is lunch ready?” Wanda screams walking out the elevator to the kitchen. That seems like a queue for Lydia to start crying. I didn’t want to disturb anyone so I walked towards the old room I stayed in. I close the door and take Lydia out of her car seat.

“Wanda and Vis are finishing lunch so no bottle until then okay?” I tried to calm her down but nothing was working. I changed her diaper and even tried playing with her toy but nothing helped.

“Miss Y/L/N. Wanda says you can come to lunch now” I thank Jarvis and god. Hopefully food helps calm her down. And it did. Atleast for some time, she went back to crying after eating.

“Did you change her already?” I nod “Play with her?” I nod “Maybe she needs another bottle” Tony was about to get up but I shake my head

“She just ate. That will upset her stomach” I don’t know how parents do this. “She has been missing her naps but everytime if I put her down she refuses to sleep”

“Well try again” What else can I do right? I excuse myself and take her to the room again. I read her a book but her crys are still going. I try to rock her to some music but she doesn’t stop crying. Maybe she is sick? I place her in the bed surrounded by pillows and I go into the bathroom. I know I could just go with Bruce to get her checked but a thermostat can help much faster. Bingo, the baby has a fever. Tony orders some medicine for her as I begin to run her a bath. The cries stop but I can tell she is exhausted.

“Just go to sleep. A good sleep will help you a ton” After a couple minutes of nothing. Her just staring at the wall will I talk to her like she was going to respond. I take her out and just put her diaper on.

“Here's the medicine” I thank Tony. He leaves me while I give her the necessary dose and there goes the cries again.

————-Maybe————

Description

You work alongside Matt and Foggy at the law firm. Of course, as one of the most successful lawyers in the city the one and only Tony Stark would recruit you. As you are trying to find a meaning of your life you find life in someone. It may be a rocky start for you two but maybe it’s worth taking.

Chapter 9:

I don’t know what time I fell asleep yesterday. With all the cries and the temperature not going down I panicked and maybe knocked myself out after her cries had stopped. Wait. Where is she? I ran out of my room and out to the main floor. “Hey. Don’t freak out she is in Bruce's lab” Why? I rush over just to come to a stop right at the door. I looked over and the clock said 10. In the morning? What the hell.

“Having a kid is like being hung over sometimes. You don’t remember something when things were rough with them the night before” Clint's words made me feel a little better. I should have stayed up and with her the whole night.

“You stayed with her the whole night” I hear Wanda’s voice beside me. “Her temperature was going down and she fell asleep. An hour or so later she started throwing up” Yeah I can remember that. That was the first time in a long time that I had frozen. After the shock and as soon as Lydia stopped throwing up I went to find Bruce. With another few throw ups and the fever coming back up Bruce told me she had an ear infection. The medicine was prescriped but I couldn't pick it up until this morning. So all last night she was awake and crying. And if she wasn’t crying she was throwin up and right after throwing up she was crying again. She didn’t even want to take her bottle. “You knocked out around 4 in the morning after she was asleep. Bucky took you to lay down”

“Has she taken her medicine?” Wanda nods. I haven’t spoken to Bucky since that night I went to apologise. Havent seen him since either. We spoke for a couple minutes before Wanda knocked on the door and said she needed to leave.

“He stayed with her since you left. The only time he left her side was when he left to pick up her medicine” Now she was feeling better. She was in Bucky’s arms eating some bananas.

“Don’t beat yourself about it. It's not like there is a rule book on how to take care of a baby. Trust me if there was one I would have been their number one fan” We laugh at Clint. “I know her grandparents are on their way but have you ever thought about keeping her?” honestly no. Lydia is a wonderful baby and I distance myself from her but I would be lying if I said she wasn’t the reason I didn’t feel alone. I only spent a full day with her and another couple but during that time she has put me in situations I felt I needed at the time.

“No. Who knows what will happen. I take the long run on this one” I open the glass door and walk towards the two. “Hey” I kneel down in-front of them as Lydia takes notice she reaches her arms out to me but Bucky hold her back

“Yeah no. It's your turn to take a shower” I moved my eyes to where he was looking and my shirt and pants had dried throw up on it. I can’t stand the smell of cheese but I could sleep through throw up being all over me?

“Fine” I roll my eyes walking out the door. “Were yall going to tell me I have throw up all over me?” I say to Clint and Wanda who were now in the kitchen island eating something. They both shake their heads laughing. I make my way over to take a shower. Took a quick 10 minute shower but I would be lying to you if I didn’t feel disgusted at the thought of smelling like throw up. I probably still smelled like it. I changed and once I walked out the door I was surprised to see the sight in front of me.

“She fell asleep right after her bottle” Lydia was fast asleep surrounded by pillows while Bucky stood at the end of the bed

“Thank you” I didn’t know what to say. So I just turned around and started packing her bag so as soon as she woke we could leave.

“Are you going to keep her?” Why does he care? Maybe he was just trying to make conversation to not make it weird and maybe I am an asshole for thinking this but he doesn’t have to be here anymore.

“I am not planning to” It’s as simple as that.

“What if the plan changes?”

“Then I guess I will deal with it then” I shrug really wanting the conversation to be over. But now that the awkward silence has me reconsidering it.

“So about that night” Fuck. Now I really want to go back to the other conversation. “I never meant to put that pressure on you. I was angry, full of rage and that was wrong on my part”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Wanda was right, you don’t accept apologies.” That made my head turn. “She said you don’t accept gratefulness or apologies. There are rare occasions when you use your manners too” oh fuck you. “And when you do, you don’t mean it”

“You got a Y/N 101 from Wanda?” I wasn’t pissed but I wasn’t happy eithier. I don’t mind people having their ideas of me, good or bad I don’t care. But when someone comes up to me and tells me in my face how I am I tend to get defensive.

“Yes. I needed to know if you were truly sorry about your apology” This asshole. “Wanda said if you apologise for something you were truly sincere” calm down. I close my eyes not wanting to do anything out of anger. How dare he go and try to find out if I was truly honest? He should have taken it up with himself to believe me or not.

“Okay” I didn’t want to start an argument with the guy.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure Tinman”

“Do you want to go on a date?”

“With you?” oh shit “I didn’t mean it that way” Fuck you. I saw him walk towards me and my body froze. My eyes are looking for an escape but I can’t come up with one.

“I haven’t been on a date in a long time, if I am being honest I am still learning about my feelings and how to deal with them” He grabs both my hands in his eyes and can’t seem to peel at the sight of it.

“Is this a new therapy thing she has you doing?” I hear a slight chuckle but he shakes his head.

“She mentioned going out with friends and before you say anything, no. When I first saw you I felt a gravitational pull towards you, and call me crazy but that was enough for me to know that in my mind we could be something other than friends” Best friends? Super friends! Get it? Because he is a super soldier? “I didn’t know how to come to you at first but if I don’t give it a try now than I might never get to it”

“Even after I caused you pain? Made you angry and tried to sabotage your orders?” I am not going to deny it made me blush. I thought after everything he would not hate me but dislike me that after the whole protecting me was over he would not even give me a second glance.

“I am willing to give it a try after all of that” that is stupid. How does he know I won’t do it again? “You had your motive behind them and I hope after getting to know eachother things will be alright.” I look up to meet his eyes. Oh honey you don’t know anything. My mind is telling me to remove my hands from his hold. Look away from his eyes. Make my heart steady to his touch. I am not one to do this with. I am no good. I will only break his and my own heart at the end. I am unstable. Maybe that is why I felt that connection with him in the first place. God knows I don’t know how to deal with my feelings either.

“Will I be responsible if things go wrong?” I was giving him a chance to run. Take back his words and hopefully only depart on a happy note. But my heart wants more. Maybe I should be brave enough like him. “I can’t promise you anything.”

“I am not asking you to promise me anything. I am just taking a risk at this” a risk. A risk is taken when you are doing something unsure, dangerous, unplanned, a ticking time bomb, like me.

“Ok”

A/N: why’s have I never seen this?!!!. So adorable.

Anyways I feel like this story is coming to an end. I don’t know if chapter ten will be the last or maybe it will be a couple more chapters but am stuck. Have no idea where to go. Maybe the story will end and I will post some chapters of the future as not part of the story like, if they get married or kids, i dont know.