Bucky Barns Fanfiction - Tumblr Posts

JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

➩ Series:

Collateral Hearts

↳ Bucky Barnes, caught in a political storm and haunted by his past as the Winter Soldier, battles internal guilt and fragmented memories while finding solace in someone who sees beyond his trauma, intensifying his struggle between seeking connection and fearing the harm he might cause.

➩ One Shots:

↳ coming soon …

Can somebody write a Bucky x black reader based on the song Crusin’ by Smokey Robinson ? Please 😊

Bucky wants to be with you but because of his PTSD, trauma, and mental illness, he doesn't think he's good enough. You find him sobbing in the middle of the night and hug him, letting him feel vulnerable and say,

"We'll get through this together. I don't care how long it takes, I'm not leaving the man I love."

Bucky couldn't make sense of why you were trying to help him and Steve. As a Mutant, you have your own problems, but you wanted to clear Buckys name.

He caught your wrist and saw numbers tattooed into your skin, and that's when he realized what you were the very few who survived in the Concentration Camps.

"My name is (Y/N) Lensherr, my brother was in the camps with me too. We did our best to survive, but in the end he just wanted blood and I couldn't watch him hurt other people. But Bucky, you didn't have a choice. That's why I'm helping you."

Little One

Summary: it’s Bucky’s first shift after HYDRA.

Pairing: Werewolf!Bucky Barnes x Werewolf!Reader

You walked into the room as Steve has his ass up in the air as he reaches for something under the couch. He pulls out a little wolf pup by the scruff of its neck and he's very proud.

"Who's that?" You asked and you don't recognize the scent.

"It's Bucky, my best friend," Steve said holding up the wiggly pup. "It's his first shift since being with HYDRA —they didn't allow him to shift. And he's trying to tear everything apart and I don't need Tony getting pissed."

You grinned looking at the white small little pup and you headed to the kitchen. You haven't met the human of the pup at all yet. You had been on a pretty long and extensive mission so you hadn't met him yet.

"OW! YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Steve screamed dropping Bucky to the ground after getting bite by his best friend.

You shifted to your wolf and swiftly moved to the living room. You stand before Bucky and you snarled at the white pup. Bucky growled showing his white pearly tiny yet sharp teeth. It was adorable. Truly. Steve headed off to the kitchen leaving you two. Bucky wiggles his furry behind before jumping up and trying to attack you. You swat him down easily with your paw and pinned him to the ground. He whimpered and you growled at him. That made the little puppy tremble. You licked his face before you took him by the scruff of his neck.

Steve laughed watching you walk off with the disobedient pup as if you were his own mother. You ended up taking Bucky into the big training room. Clint and Natasha are sparring together on the center mat. Sam and Rhodey are working on a bit of physical therapy for Rhodey. Tony is standing by for support. You dropped Bucky down carefully on a sparring mat. The sweet little puppy looked around at his fairly new surroundings.

"Oh my god, is that little Barnes?" Clint asked.

"Aww, what a sweet little thing!" Natasha cooed.

Bucky growled and everyone laughed. You sat down watching. He tried jumping and nipping at Nat and Clint who were getting close. You snickered. Then the white pup comes after you. He starts attacking you but it's literally nothing. You slide down to lay down as Bucky keeps trying to terrorize you. He tries biting at your paws and you absolutely hate when people try touching your paws.

You are swift to pin the tiny pup to the ground and you growled angrily at him getting in his face. But Bucky didn't show fear this time, he licked you. You were so taken aback by this sign of affection that you turned into your human form wearing a black sports bra and light blue and white athletic shorts that were specially made for shifts. Natasha laughed hysterically knowing how weird you get when people show any affection towards you. Bucky shifted and he's butt ass naked but he's so much bigger than you. He's 6'3" and beefy as fuck.

"I SHIFTED!" Bucky exclaimed joyously.

"MY EYES!" Sam screamed covering his eyes.

"Oh," Bucky said and his hands immediately covered his parts.

You laughed and walked out of the room leaving Bucky to his embarrassment.

~~~

Bucky hasn't been able to sleep tonight. He keeps tossing and turning. His mind is filled with HYDRA thoughts. He's scared he may never be able to turn back into his wolf form even though it's gonna be a year or two until his wolf grows to an adult as long as he keeps shifting forms.

He threw off his covers. He's wearing black boxer briefs that are meant to be shifted in. They were especially designed by Tony for that purpose like all Avengers suits and mostly wears underwear that can be shifted in underneath regular clothes. Bucky got out of the bed and got out of his room. He smelled your scent and he followed it. He got to your door and finally he knows your name cause your door has a name plate on it. He's hesitant on knocking but he just decides to go in.

You had fallen asleep in your wolf form on your bed. It's the easiest form to sleep in and you sleep like a rock. It's amazing for you. Bucky smiled and softly closed the door. He made his way over. He climbed onto the bench at the foot of the bed and he shifted. His little puppy legs carried himself to you. He wiggles his way in between your front paws. He lies down and nuzzles you and snuggles into your warmth. He feels very protected with you and damn he's never felt like that.

The next morning, you both have shifted (which can happen during sleep) and you both wake up to Bucky being the little spoon.

"Little One, why are you in my bed?" You asked in his ear whilst still holding the large man in your arms.

"I'm much bigger than you," Bucky grumbled at the sound of the nickname.

"Cause you're in your human form, little one," You sassed. "So stupid. Honestly."

He spun around and he growls. The two of you start wrestling with each other ruffling up the bedding.

"Looks like your dumbass finally got the right fucking clothes," you said having a feeling that your comment will rile him up and he's pinning you down.

He growls showing his teeth. Soon enough, the white little pup is on you trying to be aggressive. You laughed hysterically. He's about to bite your face but you're quick to pin him down with you above the pup.

"Shhhhh, Little One," you said as he struggles underneath you. "You gotta control your anger. You can't go trying to bite me like a wild animal with rabies. It's not a good look."

You changed into your wolf form and Bucky growls at you. You're quick to pick him up by the scruff of his neck. You leaped off the bed and Friday opened the door. You ran down the hallway with the growling pup. Steve is in his favorite chair reading the newspaper and sipping on his coffee as if he needs it when you come into the room. You slide to stop and Sam just smirks. You tossed Bucky into the giant bean bag chair and you shifted back into your human form wearing the same black clothing. You cooed at Bucky and he tries nipping at your finger.

"Bad, Little One," you teased.

He snarls but he can't even get out of the bean bag chair since he's so small. He's also having a hard time shifting back which can happen.

“Look at him,” Sam cooed.

Bucky yips at him. Laughter fills the room. You end up plopping down on the bean bag chair to which Bucky lets out a squeak.

“You’re just fine, Little One,” you said pulling the white pup into your lap and scratching him behind his ears.

His head rests against your chest and he sticks his snout up. He licks underneath your chin making you cringe while the others laughed. You just shake your head at them while Bucky growls at them.

there's a part two now!

the outbreak

summary: your bruised heart and shattered mind have feelings for Bucky and you had planned to tell him very soon, however, the disastrous outcome of the last mission and a heated argument make you think the best option was to keep quiet.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 8k or so

warnings: implicit reference of suicidal thoughts, some suicidal accusations, maybe like get your shit together kind of stuff, a lot of bad words, angst. there's just no happy endings in this account. mentions to explosions. also, there's a plot in the plot? that kinda got there out of nowhere, but i liked the way it turned out. probably do a second part later.

note: hey! i can't believe I actually managed to get one thing done and ready to be published in one day, i think i got lucky. im still working on the next part of how to break a routine in one year but it's been a rough journey, i don't know how it would end up in the end. still hope you like this and know that feedback is really appreciated! really love reading your comments and opinions 💜

You were static all the way back to the Complex. Your ears were still ringing from the vibrations of the bombs that exploded near you and which, by sheer luck, didn't cause your death. You couldn't look up from your clasped hands and you couldn't shake the chagrin in your chest that hadn't left you since you saw the look on Bucky Barnes' face when you were found in the rubble.

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Extraction of information, no more than five hours and you would return to the Complex. But it got complicated when you were ambushed, as if they were already expecting an Avengers team to show up in that building and they were ready for anything. You weren't supposed to face anything that day, otherwise you wouldn't have gone on the mission in the first place.

You knew you were always going to be the team's priority when they went on an extraction mission, whether it was information or people. You weren't the most skilled or the most resourceful, so the team had to keep their eyes on you and the mission objective. That in itself felt like a burden, so you always tried to just do your job and not complicate things for the others.

This time, however, you couldn't keep yourself safe, not even despite the orders given to you by the team and the mission leader: Bucky. You were casually perusing the shelves of a room where you knew the information they were looking for, which was vital to knowing the enemy you were dealing with at the moment, was to be found. You were so close to getting it that electricity surged through your limbs and little shots of adrenaline coursed through your body.

But, at that moment, Bucky's voice reached your hearing.

“Y/N, get out of there right now and meet Wanda on the first floor.”

“Hold on a second. I've almost got it.”

“I told you to get out of there right now. It wasn't a goddamn recommendation.”

“Can't you wait a second, Bucky? This is the key to everything and you know it.”

“I don't give a fuck about those documents, Y/N! Get out of there right now!”

And you should have listened to him. You should have listened to him the first time. But you always had this constant need to prove yourself, to make your time count for others and for them to notice that you were worth something. That you weren't a burden on the team. For a while the line of that goal was blurred, you didn't know if you were trying to convince them or yourself. On that occasion, you decided to make the decision to prove your worth and stay to find out what they had spent weeks focusing their time on.

“Fuck,” you heard Bucky curse. “Wanda, can you come in for-?”

The sound of a large explosion caused horrible interference on the team's communicators.

Sadly, until that moment you understood that maybe you should have listened to the team leader. Still, you held your place for a few more seconds until you found your target. But it was too late by the time the building began to shake.

It had taken the team about twenty-five minutes to find you. They didn't even know how you had survived.

“Bucky, what happened in-?”

“I'll give the mission report to Fury later,” the man cut off Steve Rogers' words, walking past him without giving him a glance, and continued on his way straight to the entrance of the Complex.

Steve turned his gaze until his eyes rested on yours. You felt like you had a lot of words stuck in your throat, a lot of overflowing feelings that you couldn't control. You just looked down again and approached him to hand over the mission objective. For which you risked your life almost without thinking. Then you walked straight back to your little room and didn't leave for the rest of the day.

---

Your friendship with Bucky was great. From the moment you joined the group, he was the person you hit it off with the fastest, surprising almost everyone on the team. Even before you got to know Bucky, even though you didn't consider yourself an outgoing person, you would tell him stories about your day and mundane things you did every day. At first you didn't even know if the man was listening to you, you just knew he was there and never left until you were done talking.

The situation wasn't so bad. You were used to talking to yourself since you started living on your own, a couple of years before you joined the team. Sometimes when Bucky came into the kitchen or appeared in the living room, you were already mumbling to yourself about something.

For a while you never knew why he stayed to listen to you.

And months went by like that. Each time you would show up wherever he was or he would show up wherever you were and you would just tell him something. A story from your childhood, a story from your grandparents' lives, a news item from around the world, an extremely strange and bizarre fun fact.

That little interaction was something you quickly got used to.

That is, until outsiders had to dip their spoon in and stick ideas that didn't belong in your head. Ideas you weren't supposed to have or even consider once. You knew it, but you learned it again the hard way.

“Have you seen Bucky today?” you asked Sam Wilson once when you walked into the kitchen.

“No,” the man quickly replied, finishing his coffee.

You pursed your lips and were already on your way back to look for him elsewhere when Sam's voice reached your ears again.

“You hit it off pretty quick with him, huh? I thought he was a tough nut to crack.”

“Don't talk about him as a thing. And it's really not that complicated to get to know him. You just have to make an effort and not push.”

“Roger that, Captain,” Sam smiled and took a sip of his coffee.

Hearing that lit a light bulb in your head.

“And have you seen Steve?”

Sam shook his head as he lowered his mug to rest it on the kitchen counter. “No. They must be together because I haven't seen them since yesterday. Maybe they went out on a mission?”

You nodded at his words, thoughtfully.

“But he didn't tell me he had to leave today…” you mumbled, but it reached Sam's ears.

“Does he usually tell you what he does in the day, too?”

You turned to look at him, distracted.

“Something like that. He only does that when I ask him to go shopping with me.”

“He goes shopping with you? Really?”

“Sure,” you quickly replied focusing all your attention on his surprised face. “It's a dangerous world for women, you know? I can't take chances.”

“Clint goes shopping once a month. You've never ordered from him?”

“No, I like to walk around the supermarkets and look at every single thing on the shelves. Clint is very fast and boring.”

“Ah, so the only person you feel comfortable with at those times is Bucky.”

You shook your head in a nod, completely unaware of what the man was trying to imply with his words.

“Natasha once accompanied me, but because she flashed the knife hidden on her hip at every man who saw us for more than five seconds, she was banned from more than seven venues and the police were almost called.”

“Mmm,” Sam nodded. “Sounds very much in keeping.”

“So yeah, that's why Bucky is my shopping buddy. Steve is very inquisitive, Tony brags every two minutes about how quick and easy he could do the market from the app on his phone, Wanda gets lost in the movie section and I can hardly ever get her out and you just don't shop because you leave it all to Clint.”

“And Bruce?”

“He leaves a list for Clint or asks FRIDAY to take note of every time he says he needs something so she can forward it to Clint.”

“Wow, who knew the Avengers were such bad shopping buddies.”

“Yeah. Bucky just walks with me, reaches for things that are too high and does his own shopping quietly. Or sometimes we chat. About shopping stuff.”

“That's very domestic of him.”

You let out a short laugh, agreeing with his description. It was something you thought about from time to time.

“Bucky is a very domestic person, actually.”

“You seem to know him well.”

“Maybe so. Only from what I can see of him by his actions.”

“He's not very active with you in talks then.”

“Not very much. But if you can get to know him well, it's easy to tell what he means just by his behaviors.”

Sam gave you a nod, his coffee on the counter long forgotten.

Then, as if his mind hadn't processed what he meant, out of his mouth came the last words you would have wanted to hear in the world.

“You two would make a good couple.”

You snapped out of your head for a moment, almost abruptly. You turned to look at him as if he had a magnet that attracted your gaze and you almost pulled a lung out of your chest from how loudly you snorted at those words. That man had lost his mind.

“What?”

“What?” Sam repeated, his brow furrowing without losing the hint of amusement it caused him to see you so flustered for saying something so mundane. “It's no secret to anyone that you're the person he spends the most time with in the entire Complex. You do a lot of things together, including shopping. Like a couple would. You know what? You already act like a couple even if it's not official.”

“You have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Oh, but I do have an idea. We all have eyes here, Y/N. It's not hard to notice the look in both of our eyes when-”

“All right, that's enough!” you exclaimed, and Sam just shrugged. “I don't want you ever hinting like that again, is that clear?”

And he didn't do it again. But you should have paid more attention when he spoke in the plural. Even though he was the first, he wasn't the only one to express his opinion freely about your friendly relationship with Bucky when you didn't ask for it. It was as if Sam unleashed a horde of unwanted comments about the normal, domestic things you did with Bucky.

It wasn't long before you began to feel uncomfortable when the two of you were in some room in the Complex with some third party who was intruding.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked you once you were in the common room of the Complex.

You remembered turning to look at him in bewilderment as you snapped out of your cloud of thoughts. You saw him sitting next to you, a safe distance away. Like two normal friends. You were telling him a story your mother had told you about your grandmother many years ago when you felt a look on your face. You ignored it at first completely because you were too engrossed in your story and felt you didn't care if anyone else came into the room.

But then you met Clint's eyes. And everything went into a tailspin.

“Yeah. All good,” you shook your head trying to play it down, but you underestimated Bucky's knowledge of you. “Why?”

“You were quiet.”

“For less than ten seconds,” you let out a nervous laugh. In that moment you felt like a pressure cooker, your mind moving anxiously like the lid blowing the air out.

You noticed out of the corner of your eye that Bucky averted his gaze and you turned to look at him to realise that he had focused his attention on the person sitting in one of the far armchairs with a comic book in his hands. He looked so deep in concentration that his presence in the room was barely noticeable.

“Does it bother you that Clint is here?”

“What?” you exclaimed, suddenly a little louder than you should have. “No, of course not, why would it bother me?”

Bucky arched an eyebrow.

“That's what I'm trying to understand.”

His unwavering expression couldn't give you any answer as to what was going through his head. You mentally berated yourself for trying to find out something you didn't want to know, that you shouldn't even be considering.

“Even if it bothered me that Clint was here, why would that be relevant?”

The man next to you raised his eyebrows as if you'd asked the question with the most obvious answer in the world.

“Because you're uncomfortable.”

You frowned.

“Do you care that much that I'm uncomfortable?”

“Yes, because you haven't finished the story. I still don't know what happened to the chicken.”

His words left your mind blank for a few seconds. You didn't know whether to be flattered, because he seemed genuinely interested in what you were telling him, or offended because he seemed to take it only as a method of entertainment. Either way, the important thing was that you had his attention, right?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

You were suddenly annoyed to realise that your thoughts were taking the wrong turn, being fully influenced by the words Sam and the others had let out about your relationship with Bucky. You couldn't allow yourself to drift slowly into a place you didn't want to return to, because you knew well the consequences and side effects. Even though sometimes you felt you were already in that place.

You were fine with the way you were, nothing else mattered. You were fine with the way you were, nothing else mattered. You were fine just with the way you were, nothing else mattered….

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“You know this is the longest conversation we've ever had?”

Impulsively you changed the topic of conversation. And you knew Bucky had noticed by the way his eyes narrowed and he didn't say anything for a few seconds. You stood in silence, a small staring battle, Bucky trying to make you give in, until he let out an exhausted sigh and averted his gaze.

“It's not the longest conversation.”

“Yes, it is. You talked to me more than five times.”

Bucky let out a short disbelieving laugh, his head jerking in rhythm with the sound coming out of his mouth. You watched him carefully for the duration of the gesture, because it wasn't something that happened very often.

“I'm sure we've had longer conversations.”

“The monosyllables you answer me with at the mall don't count.”

Bucky let out a breath and his lips pressed into a thin line. It was your turn to laugh, genuinely amused. His eyes flickered up to meet yours.

“You give yourself a lot more credit than you should,” you told him after a while, when your laughter had subsided and his expression was more serene.

“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled. “What happened to the chicken?”

Over time, you learned to manage your awkwardness so that Bucky wouldn't suspect your uncomfortable behaviour and avoid questions you didn't want to answer. Sometimes, you thought you were excellent at hiding what your body wanted to show with its language, and other times you felt that Bucky just didn't bring up the subject to avoid making you even more uncomfortable. But surely he wanted to ask.

So that was the routine you usually had. It wasn't strange for anyone to see you walking around the Complex together or going out together, and it wasn't strange for you to see everyone with knowing smiles as you passed each other.

Even though it was difficult, you felt you coped well. Always ignoring that voice in the back of your head that tried to alert you that something had happened in the feeling system. If you just ignored it, then it was nothing.

Everything was still relatively normal.

Until that damned mission where you decided not to listen to him.

It had been a week since the incident and if Bucky had looked at you at least once when you were in the same place, that was a lot to say.

Sam had tried to ask you several times what had happened on the mission and why Bucky didn't even acknowledge your presence when sometimes you were right next to him, but you were never able to answer him. You didn't want to talk about it when every time you remembered the cold look he'd given you the moment Wanda removed the chunk of concrete that had almost fallen on top of you, only being cushioned by the wall you'd stuck to before it all came crashing down. His light eyes had always felt warm, made you feel welcome to him the moment you wanted to enter, but in that instant his eyes were watching you as if he wanted you to disappear from the face of the earth.

You couldn't bear the memory. Not when you were already used to his presence and his silences; to his short laughs and mumbled answers. Not when you were already starting to feel comfortable with the ideas you were getting in your head despite trying to convince yourself otherwise; that maybe Sam and the others weren't so wrong. That maybe… they might be right.

But they were just that. Ideas. Stupid thoughts that were going around in your head to salve your poor heart.

Ever since you came back from the mission, you knew how unlikely it was that everyone else was right. The only thing they saw between the two of you, that they talked about so much, was your own feelings bouncing off all the walls that Bucky had and that he hadn't dropped at any point like you thought he had. It was only the reflection of your adoration for him in his eyes. There was never really anything about him that gave them to understand that he felt the same way you did about him, it was only the extent of your love that covered him too.

But nothing was ever really reciprocated.

And coming to that conclusion wasn't as difficult as you thought it would be.

Being hopeful wasn't your style. Although you were always cheerful and tried to put your best face to the world, you weren't one to fall easily for the words and actions of others. That's why you kept your relationship with Bucky at bay for so long, because you knew it wasn't possible for him to see you with the love you longed to give him. You were always sure. But then, and you didn't really know how you got to that point, you began to think that, if other people could see it so clearly, then suddenly it might be true. Maybe Bucky could return your feelings and then the world wasn't just black and white.

Wrong.

For a moment you allowed yourself to forget and let your defences down for that little flame of hope, even though you knew you shouldn't have, that you hadn't done it in years for something and it didn't have to be any different this time. You did, and it was a mistake.

“So, what do you say?”

You raised your head to look at Wanda's expectant face. Her raised eyebrows and the way she moved her hands in her lap gave you a hint that she was feeling nervous. She was trying to hide it, but you could also see that she was a little afraid. Her light, barely perceptible voice gave you the feeling that she was afraid of unleashing a storm with her conjectures.

“That it's crazy.”

“It's definitely crazy,” the woman in front of you sighed, her eyes drifting from your figure to her surroundings trying to deal with the weight of the revelations she'd had these past few days.

Your body leaned against the armchair behind you, and you lowered your head until you could look at the book lying on your crossed legs. You looked at the letters and frowned as you tried to understand again what it was all about.

“That could also be just a story.”

“I don't think so,” Wanda mused, then raised her head to look at you. “There's a reason these books are here.”

“Yeah, just like there's a reason for us not to be in here.”

“Then why did you follow me?”

Wanda crossed her arms under her chest, an annoyed expression taking over her face.

“I didn't think you were going to show me something like this,” you admitted, taking the book in your hands and running your eyes over the text and figures once more. “I didn't even think it was possible.”

“I told you my dreams were starting to become more accurate.”

You shook your head in a nod, your mind trying to figure out what that could mean for your friend's future. You knew it was possible that Wanda was doing her best not to see the whole horizon of negative possibilities emerging from that situation, but you were also aware of the weight she must be feeling with all those thoughts running through her head coupled with the likelihood of not having an answer. Your head schemed for a possible solution that might not be welcome.

“Why don't you go talk to Strange?”

Wanda twisted her lips, the reaction you expected.

“I get the impression that the first thing he'd do would be to lock me in his magical dungeon.”

You wanted to contradict her, but it was partly true. You knew Strange to be a man who didn't see nuance in black and white. It was only about good and bad, with no in-between. But you suggested it because he was the only person besides Wanda who knew as much about magic and sorcery as she did, even more thanks to the position he held. His methods were questionable, probably, but the range of his knowledge was something greater than either of you could question.

You closed the book and ran your fingers over the material of its cover, so stiff and dirty that you could barely even try to guess what century it was from.

“Even if what this book says is true, we don't have the original book to confirm it. We don't even know if it exists.”

“The Darkhold is real,” Wanda contradicted you almost immediately, and the certainty in her voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“What, you've seen it in dreams too?”

When Wanda averted her eyes from yours, you had to restrain the urge to hit her over the head with the book you were holding.

“Wanda!”

“I'm sorry!”

You saw her quickly get up from the floor and start walking around the place you had taken over in the library you were in. From the outside, it looked like a small room with a few shelves full of books, but the further you went in, the less it seemed like it would have any end to it. It was one of the largest rooms in the Complex. And, courtesy of Wanda, you now knew that it was the only room with another hidden room that almost ninety-five percent of the Complex staff were barred from entering. You were convinced that only the Director, Maria Hill, Tony Stark and Stephen Strange were allowed in there.

Now, how could Wanda concentrate enough energy to find and open the hidden entrance to that place? A complete mystery to you.

“The Darkhold was the first thing I saw before my dreams started getting weird. It was only a couple of weeks ago.”

“After you dreamt about it, you started having the lucid dreams?”

“Yes, it was very strange,” Wanda shook her head and stopped her feet in front of you, her expression thoughtful as if her mind was conjuring up all her dreams at once. “Sometimes I dream things where I'm sure it's me, that if I looked in a mirror I'd be sure it was me. But other times, I feel like my dream is focused on showing me someone else's memories. Like I'm inside someone else's mind… but that person is me.”

The woman looked at you, her face contracted in confusion and exhaustion.

“Why didn't you tell me this before?”

Wanda sat back down on the floor in front of you, her legs crossed and her elbows resting on her knees. You watched her run her hands over her face repeatedly before answering.

“I didn't want to worry you. I didn't want to worry anyone. At first I had thought this was too crazy for anyone to believe me, but when I came here and found that book I started to fear for myself. I didn't want to get locked up if anyone found out.”

“Don't say that. No one's going to lock you up.”

You threw the book with the stiff cover somewhere on the floor and moved from your spot to approach your friend. You didn't hesitate for a second to wrap her in your arms and squeeze her against your body.

You didn't know how you had gone so many days without noticing the tiredness in her eyes and the dark bags under her eyes. You'd been so wrapped up in your own head that you hadn't even been able to notice when something was eating away at your friend's sanity. Being one of those things… mhm, you know….

“Don't worry. You're not going to go crazy and want to rule the universe. That sounds too surreal.”

“I'd like to know if my dreams are fabrications or visions.”

You turned away from the woman, your brows furrowing at the implication of her words.

“You're not going to become what that book says.”

“But what if…?”

“No, Wanda.”

“What if it's tipping me off?”

“And who's doing it?” you inquired as you sat back on your heels, your gaze focused on your friend's obfuscated expression. “The Darkhold? Some silly alternate version of yourself from another universe? Now that's crazy!”

Wanda turned her head away and her shoulders slumped.

“That would mean my dreams are unexplained. They're just dreams.”

“Maybe that's for the best. Even the multiverse theory hasn't been proven enough for us to conjecture beyond our own reality.”

“Still, isn't it strange?”

“Of course it is. It's just too weird. I just meant that it doesn't mean you're destined to become that bizarre alter ego.”

You saw her press her lips into a line, then nod her head slightly. She didn't really look convinced, and neither were you, to be honest. Of everything she had told you, you couldn't understand half of it, and the other half you could barely believe was true. The magic was a few levels above your understanding of reality and altering it all in a few minutes was proving to be a really complicated job.

Still, seeing her anguished face at the possibility of what her dreams and that book implied, you knew you had to say something to try to calm the thoughts in her head. Even if it was something tiny that couldn't even come close to being true. You couldn't let those evil ideas fill her head and make her think she was some kind of villain when it couldn't be further from the truth.

If that was the future, it wasn't the future of the Wanda in front of you, her gaze lost and her eyes full of fear. Someone who worried like that about what might happen, even if she wasn't completely convinced of it, only thinking of the slightest possibility, couldn't have an ounce of evil in her.

“Maybe you're right-”

“What the fuck are you two doing here?”

You cringed as you heard a new voice join in the room when you hadn't even heard the footsteps of anyone approaching. Least of all from the two people who had just appeared down the same path you and Wanda had come down.

“Uhm…”

Your voice came out shaky, not at the prospect of receiving yet another punishment for being in a forbidden place for the level you were at as an agent, you'd already seen that coming, but because standing next to a very angry Tony Stark was Bucky. And he was staring at you so hard you feared he might punch a hole in your soul.

You felt Wanda's gaze on you. You turned to see her slowly, as if making any sudden movements would upset the bundle of fury in front of you. You could almost see the veins in her forehead pop.

With one glance, you knew that Wanda had no idea that the room had any kind of sensor. Even though it would make sense for it to have one, it would be illogical because it's a door hidden with magic. Normal people wouldn't notice it by looking through matter or something.

Nevertheless, it was magic that was what it was all about. Surely Strange would have some magical failsafe, kind of.

“None of you are going to respond?”

“I believe the situation responds on its own,” Wanda answered him, and Tony's dark eyes settled on her in a matter of seconds.

For a moment you thought his face had faltered, that his expression had slumped, but just as quickly you noticed, just as quickly it was gone.

Then, his gaze wandered across the floor where you stood with a number of books around you, until it settled on the book you had been reading moments before his arrival. You hadn't realised where it had fallen when you threw it when you got up to hug Wanda, but that must have been your lucky day because it was far enough away to make him think that it had only been taken out, but not opened.

Tony moved quickly to take the book in his hands and then gave you a wary look.

“Did you open this?”

As if we were going to say yes.

“No,” you replied quickly, averting your gaze from the frozen man behind Tony.

“Good.”

You watched him tuck the small, stiff book into his jacket before glancing back at the mess of books on the floor.

“Move along. Strange isn't going to be happy.”

The two men moved sideways, clearing the way for you and Wanda to exit the way you came.

Without a second's hesitation, you both got up and started walking in the direction of the exit.

“How the hell did you know where the entrance was?” Tony questioned Wanda once you were all out of the hidden room, and the aforementioned turned around to watch the door slam shut before disappearing.

"I guess I got lucky."

Tony clicked his tongue, but said nothing more. He turned on his heels to begin his walk towards the library exit followed by Bucky who clearly didn't give you a single word other than judging looks.

Wanda nudged you lightly with her body, the previous topic almost completely forgotten, with a half smile on her face. You didn't know if it was good to drop the subject so spontaneously, but you did know that you didn't want her to continue to have those thoughts running through her head.

“You haven't spoken to Bucky?”

“I'm puzzled that the subject is funny to you.”

“I'm not amused,” Wanda tried to rectify, lowering her voice as she saw that the two men in front of her had stopped at the library exit. “But I don't think he's mad at you.”

“Today is your day of the wildest theories I've ever heard, how can he possibly not be mad at me?”

Wanda sighed and watched the back of the aforementioned, who was apparently talking to Steve Rogers.

“You scared us all that day. But Bucky was… terrified. I knew you were alive, and I told him, but he wouldn't believe me until he could see it with his own eyes. He was too scared at the time. And, to be honest, I think that scare made him realise something he doesn't want to accept now. That's probably why he's staying away from you.”

You watched your friend with narrowed eyes, your body turned in her direction.

“Did you get inside his head?”

“Of course not!”

“Because that's wildly accurate, Wanda. How can you conclude something like that just by looking at someone?”

“I've had a week to do it,” the woman waved her hand in the air, downplaying the matter before resuming her walk when the men up ahead finally moved. “And I happen to be very good at reading people's body language.”

“Yeah, right.”

Wanda grunted at your tone of voice.

“I really didn't get inside his head, Y/N. I swore I wouldn't do it again and I'm keeping my word.”

“Alright, let's say I believe you,” you agreed and turned to look at her just as she rolled her eyes at your words. “That's not reason enough to talk to him.”

“And why not?” Wanda raised her voice, quizzical. “I practically gave you the answer.”

“Knowing doesn't make things any easier, woman.”

Wanda let out a whine so loud and exaggerated that several of the people walking past her frowned at her.

“The real answer is to just talk to him. Do you know how many problems are solved a year just by talking?”

You shook your head in denial. “He's avoiding me-”

“And you seem to be okay with that.”

“I'm not.”

“Then why haven't you done anything to change it yet?”

You knew she was right, but to be honest and to no one's surprise, you didn't want to deal with the confrontation and find out that what you always thought and the reason you kept yourself on edge was true. Even though it clearly was. But to have the chance to hear it come from his mouth directly? You were definitely past having that experience. You no longer doubted that his feelings for you were as non-existent as you first thought and that you should never have listened to people's words, giving yourself false hope. You didn't want to face your own mind and the fact that you got into this heart trouble on your own when you had always been so cautious. Weighing the risk of Bucky pushing so far inside your head that you knew the real darkness was reason enough to be a little content with silence.

Talking to him would solve a percentage of the situation, the professional. You would apologise another thousand times for not listening to him during the mission, you would tell him that you would do everything in your power not to react that way again, and that was it. But the other percentage of the situation would not be resolved; the percentage that involves you more than him. Even if you apologise and he accepts your apology, nothing could assure you that things would go back to the way they were before, that you would go back to being attached to each other as you have been since you met.

And that should be good, because you could finally get away from him and get all those feelings off your chest and out of your mind like you should have done in the first place to avoid the eventuality of him suddenly knowing too much about you, but at the same time you didn't want to end something that could have been so good. Even without getting romantic, your friendship with Bucky was one of the things you cherished the most, and you didn't want to make yourself forget it as if it had never happened.

“What is it that scares you?”

“That I was right all along.”

Wanda gave you her reprimanding look and paused to stare at you with that scowl on her face. You inhaled sharply and stopped in front of her, watching her expectantly.

“I'll take Tony,” she blurted out suddenly, not wiping that expression off her face.

“What?”

“I'm taking him and you better hope that when we meet again you have good news.”

“What are you talking about?”

Without answering, Wanda turned her body and walked in the direction of the three men who had stopped once again to talk. Bucky and Tony had their backs to you, but you could see the typical serious expression disappear from Steve's face to give way to surprise the moment Wanda landed in the middle of him and Tony with a big smile.

The woman shared a few words with the stunned blond, before turning to Tony and sending you a fleeting glance over the man's shoulder.

“Don't you think you're keeping Strange waiting too long?”

“How did you know that he-?”

“I didn't. But you already gave me the answer. We'd better go now.”

Following her order, Wanda curled her arm around the arm of a paralyzed Tony and started walking, waving goodbye to the others.

“Bye, Y/N! Don't stand in the middle of the hallway!”

You cringed as the gaze of the people walking past you landed on you, and gritted your teeth as you saw Steve's gaze on you. Without a bit of disguise, Steve ran his gaze over you and then over Bucky and back again as if he was having a short circuit inside his head.

You weren't too far away to notice Bucky's stiff shoulders, and you guessed he was saying goodbye to Steve when the blond turned his gaze to watch him. Seconds later, the black-haired man started to walk the way Wanda had gone with Tony, but Steve stopped him before he took any more steps away from the tense atmosphere.

“Wait,” you heard Steve's voice and flinched as you watched Bucky look down to see the Captain's hand clutch his left arm, then look up and give him a look that you knew would have chilled you from head to toe, but Steve seemed to ignore it as if it was an everyday occurrence. “Actually, since I've got you two in one place, I need to talk to you.”

You watched the blond shake his head pointing to the door next to him then walk in his direction.

You followed them from a distance and closed the door behind you. It was one of the small common rooms around the Complex. You still remembered how surprised you had been when you first arrived to see how many clear work areas they had in that place. Of course, to house and protect the peace of mind of hundreds of workers.

Bucky slumped into one of the green armchairs carelessly and Steve stood on his feet in the middle of the room.

“I spoke to Fury this morning,” the blond began, alternating his gaze between the two of you. “You'll be back on a mission next week.”

You raised your head expecting to see that Steve was referring to Bucky, but no. He was staring at you from his position.

“So soon?”

“What do I have to do with this?”

You and Bucky spoke at the same time, and you couldn't hide the pain that settled in your chest hard as you heard those were the first words you'd heard from him in seven days.

Steve pursed his lips and alternated his gaze again before speaking again.

“Fury agreed to let you go on the mission after a recon team inspects the site in case of possible attacks.”

You nodded slightly. That was a little ugly to hear, too. Just a little.

“You'll go with Clint and Bucky on the mission.”

You were expecting those words to come out of his mouth because there was no other reason to have locked them both in here. What you didn't expect (though you should have) was to see Bucky roll his eyes and drop his head on the back of the couch in the most horrible gesture of disgust and ennui you'd ever seen from him since you'd known him. During this week of being a zero to the left for the aforementioned, you'd noticed that Bucky was very expressive when he wanted someone to realise that they were strongly hated by him.

It wasn't something you wanted to know, really.

“Clint will be the backup so he'll stay inside the Quinjet flying over the structure in case of a possible attack. You and Y/N are going to enter the building and perform the extraction of one person.”

One person? That was new. You could hardly remember the last time you'd had such a mission.

“Why did he pick me?”

“I have no idea, Buck. He just gave me the order to tell you.”

“Who's the person we're supposed to extract?”

“That I don't know,” Steve replied. “Fury was very cautious with the information. Any minute now the report should reach you.”

“And you're busy?” Bucky asked again, his gaze focused solely on the blond standing in front of him.

At the time, you hated what he was doing. You understood that he didn't want to go on that mission with you because he didn't feel comfortable or just didn't want to see you, but it cost him nothing to have a little, just a little compassion enough to not try to get rid of you and that mission right in front of you as if you weren't listening to him.

“Bucky…”

Steve sighed, but the man in front of him didn't soften his expression or make any pretense of taking back his words.

“If you've got a problem with this, you should go talk it over with Fury,” the blond recommended, not answering his question directly, sending him a hard glare before turning to look at you again. “See you later.”

You nodded in his direction and the man quickly left the room.

The silence that followed was deadly.

You watched the man continue to sit in that armchair, his jaw tense, his hands clenched and his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. He was so still he looked like a statue. It was scary.

You tried to take a tentative step in his direction, but noticing your movement roused him from his trance and he stood up quickly. He let out a sigh and walked out of the room without looking at you.

You felt a kind of courage catch in your throat when you called out to him.

“Bucky.”

“No,” the man replied almost instantly, his body near the door turning violently to stare at you and point his index finger at you. The angry look he gave you made you regret all the decisions in your life that had brought you to that moment. “I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear your apology. I don't want anything from you.”

With each word he moved closer to you until you had to start backing away. You were too surprised at how he had exploded just hearing you call out to him. He must have had too much pent up. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to do this at the time.

“If you want to blow off steam, talk to a fucking wall. But don't come near me or try to fix something you broke with your bare hands.”

You felt the air that entered your body freeze your lungs. His piercing eyes and angry expression shattered any willpower you had collected since Steve left the room, but it was the way his voice broke as he was finishing speaking that took the words right out of your mouth.

“You could have simply listened to me and you didn't. That's all. There is nothing you can apologise for because you yourself decided, within your will, that your life mattered nothing compared to the goal of that fucking mission.”

His eyes wouldn't leave yours and you hated the way you felt the prior sting of tears make your vision blurrier each time because you didn't want to miss a single detail of his face. He was so angry, furious, disappointed and... desperate to let you know how you had made him feel.

“And I don't know if you do, but I don't see what excuse is good enough to justify that.”

The thread of tension you felt in the air was choking you and you didn't know what to do to stop the tears from escaping your eyes. You would have expected anything but such an explosion of rage against you. It wasn't normal for Bucky to have such outbursts, and it also seemed that he knew exactly what points to make because you suddenly felt helpless in the way he was exposing his thoughts about you. Which perhaps weren't far from the truth.

“I didn't want to give you an excuse,” you were barely able to reply, at the tense look he was giving you. Your mind was working hard to avoid touching on the subject he was apparently trying to bring up.

“I don't see how that's any better.”

“I just wanted to apologise. I know I was wrong, okay? I think about it every day since we got back and I know I made a mistake. But I didn't throw my life away by just thinking about accomplishing the mission.”

Bucky let out a raw, lazy laugh without a hint of humor. You felt a shiver run through your body and it was unwelcome.

“I bet you didn't even think about the possibility of getting out alive after you heard the first explosion and that didn't matter to you.”

“It wasn't like that!” you replied instantly, raising your voice to match his, your head suddenly panicking.

“You didn't care because you were only thinking about the mission!”

“But how could we come back empty-handed, Bucky!? All that effort and time to be left with nothing!? Wasn't that worse?”

“Of course not! What the fuck makes you think we'd prefer an inconclusive fucking lead on a team member's life?”

“For God's sake, Bucky Barnes!” you roared and turned away from the man, a wave of anger coursing through your body burning away any trace of sadness you might have felt just moments ago. You knew that feeling and it wasn't welcome. You knew this argument wasn't going to end well, but seeing the look on Bucky's face you knew he wasn't just going to walk away if you asked him to.

Even though your mind was focused on avoidance, you tried to prepare yourself for the possibility that you might end up saying things you shouldn't, too.

“And don't give me any fucking shit about how you knew everything was going to be okay because I don't believe you.”

“Well don't believe me,” you exclaimed turning to look at him. “Don't believe anything that comes out of my mouth if that's what you want. That's not going to erase the fact that I do regret not listening to you and risking my life like that.”

“Lies.”

You half-opened your lips, your face contorted in disbelief. It couldn't have been that easy for him…

“I just told you-”

“And less than twenty seconds ago you said how dare I even think about coming back empty-handed, instead of thinking about how I'd come back to tell the rest of the team that you were dead.”

“But I'm not dead.”

Bucky shook his head.

“Now, you're just telling me what I want to hear.”

“No, I'm telling you the truth.”

“You're not telling me anything, Y/N! Are you sorry for what you did? Good for you. But tell me something, would you do it differently if you had another chance?”

“What?”

“If you woke up tomorrow and we were on that mission again, me yelling at you to get out of the building, would you?”

You didn't even have to think twice to know the answer, but saying it out loud was much scarier than just being silent. Silence.

“I thought so.”

Still, even knowing you didn't have the upper hand in that fight, you tried to convince yourself otherwise.

“That doesn't explain anything, Bucky, I don't-”

“Stop lying already. If you really wanted to apologise to me you could have at least had the decency to tell the truth.”

“Fuck,” you muttered, the anger and irritability of your cowardice coming out to take it out on anyone but you. “You're a fucking genius then, aren't you? You know everything.”

“Well, it looks like you're the only one who doesn't.”

“You can't know what was going through my head at the time. You don't know everything!”

“Then fucking tell me: what were you thinking?”

Your mind went blank. And then words. Thoughts. Images. Nothing encouraging, nothing that would help your case. Again, fear came over you and you couldn't respond. You knew you were playing with fire, especially with him. Especially with the man who had learned to see beyond the cheerful, untroubled woman you were always trying to be.

“I was listening to you and I wanted to get out-”

“Then why didn't you?”

You didn't want him to keep pushing because you felt you wouldn't be able to keep running in the opposite direction. The weight of his words was more than the weight of your silence could bear. Silence.

“Now, with what face are you going to tell me you weren't lying?”

I'm sorry.

“This isn't fair.”

“Oh, so you're the one going through an injustice now. Funny.”

Your body felt his words hurt you, and too much, and instinctively your mind and your defence mechanisms leapt to take control of your words, even though you didn't mean to. Even though you knew you shouldn't because someone in that room was right and it wasn't you. Because you couldn't control the way your mind sought to get out and hide from the confrontations that questioned the way you lived. That was why you kept your distance. It was why you had boundaries with Bucky.

Damn the moment when you decided to believe what others said.

“Why does it matter now what happened back then? I'm here now, giving you an apology you don't want to accept just because I wanted to try to save what we had.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows and stood in a state of stupefaction for a few seconds. His eyes twitched and blinked rapidly as if his head didn't believe what he had heard and he mentally replayed it several times.

“What we had? What exactly did we have?”

“A friendship, Bucky! A mutual appreciation. A mutual respect.”

How you dare to talk about respect?

“Having a friendship implies that you worry and care about what the other person feels.”

Bucky watched you expectantly. His furious face gave no room for contradiction and you soon found yourself between a rock and a hard place. This man wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted, and you didn't know how things would turn out when he did. You didn't speak, waiting for him to continue.

“When you were in that building, did you think about me, besides cursing me a thousand times for not letting you accomplish the mission while I was trying to save your life?”

Silence.

“Did you care, at any point, what would have become of me if you hadn't gotten out of that building?”

“Bucky, but that's not what-”

“Can you just answer…! Answer the fucking question.”

Silence.

“I… there was too much going on in my head at the same time.”

“But you weren't thinking about getting out of there!” he screamed.

“I thought I was a burden!" you screamed back, his hard stare breaking your self-control and you lowered your head. “I thought you always have to take care of me when I go on missions. I thought I don't really contribute anything important to the team. I thought I'd be a failure if I came back empty-handed when I was so close to making it. I thought… I thought nothing else mattered but accomplishing the mission.”

The last you admitted almost with shame. And though you struggled to think otherwise, your own mind accused you of not being strong enough to endure. You had to feel that shame because someone wasn't really supposed to know, not even for the fact that you had just admitted to him that you had crudely lied to him by excusing yourself behind a false apology, but because that was something that wasn't supposed to leave your head. Because they would always leave, they would abandon you, they wouldn't look back twice. And you were expectantly torn to see the moment when that would happen.

Bucky was just watching you. When you looked up to see him, you noticed that his angry expression had softened just a little. His gaze hovered over your figure for a few seconds until he let out a sigh.

“You've got a lot to work on, Y/N.”

And he left the room. You didn't try or think to stop him for a second. The stark truth of what you had said echoed off the walls and came back at you with such force that you feared it would tear you to pieces. But you did nothing about it. You let it come back because you didn't have the strength to move, you didn't have the strength to do more.

When you let your knees give way under the weight of your body, you curled up next to the couch and cried. You cried as if having said that to Bucky, finally getting those thoughts you tried every day to suppress out, had activated a little reason in your mind. As if, suddenly, you could no longer pretend that everything was all right and try to hide things behind a smile and a story.

You couldn't live your whole life believing that you could live behind a charade, after all.

The Wrong Wedding

Summary: You and Bucky accidentally show up at the wrong wedding after his GPS leads you astray.

Pairing            : Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Genre              : Fluff

It all started with Bucky's insistence that his GPS app was better than mine. He was so confident—borderline cocky—about it. We were supposed to be headed to Steve’s cousin’s wedding, which was in the middle of nowhere, somewhere off a dirt road, in a place with more cows than cell towers.

“Trust me,” Bucky had said, flicking his phone screen with his vibranium fingers. “I’ve been using this app for ages. It’s foolproof.”

Clearly, Bucky hadn’t met the one fool who could outsmart even the most advanced piece of Stark tech: himself.

An hour into the drive, I noticed something was off. The trees were looking... different. Like, spooky, “I’m going to kill you and your super-soldier boyfriend” kind of different.

“Bucky, I don’t think this is the way,” I said, squinting out the window. “Did Steve’s cousin plan their wedding in the middle of a horror movie set?”

He just grunted, glancing over at me for a second. “Relax. We’re fine. GPS says it’s just a few more miles.”

I leaned forward and saw the little blinking dot on his phone. “What does ‘Danger: No Road Access’ mean?”

He blinked. “Probably just a suggestion.”

“Uh-huh. And what about ‘Entering Restricted Area: Authorized Personnel Only’?”

Bucky shrugged, his fingers tapping the steering wheel like he didn’t just guide us into a potential military test site. “It’s fine. Steve’s family is kinda military, right? They probably booked a spot near a base.”

“Right.”

Another fifteen minutes passed, and finally, we pulled into a parking lot filled with cars. There were people milling around, music playing, and... was that a fountain of champagne?

“See?” Bucky smirked, throwing the car in park. “Told you.”

I eyed the fancy decorations and wedding arches. “Steve said his cousin’s wedding was supposed to be a ‘rustic, simple affair.’ This looks like Beyoncé’s vow renewal.”

Bucky frowned, glancing around. “Well... maybe rustic means different things to different people?”

I shot him a look but shrugged. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with. But if this isn’t the right wedding, you’re making the speech to the bride and groom.”

“Deal.”

As we got out of the car, Bucky fixed his suit jacket, pulling at the cuffs like he wasn’t used to dressing up. I, on the other hand, was just praying my dress didn’t ride up in the wind as we walked toward the entrance.

The moment we stepped inside, something felt... wrong.

First of all, there were way too many people for Steve’s cousin. Secondly, there was a chocolate fountain. With gold flakes.

I leaned over to Bucky, whispering, “You sure Steve’s cousin isn’t like, the secret heir to a throne or something? This feels kinda royal.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he scanned the room. “Yeah, this seems a little... much.”

Just as we were about to turn around, a woman wearing a glittery, over-the-top dress—clearly tipsy—grabbed Bucky’s arm. “Oh my God, you made it!” she squealed, eyes wide. “Natalie will be so happy!”

I stifled a laugh as Bucky’s face froze in horror. The woman didn’t even give him a chance to respond before dragging us toward the dance floor, where the bride and groom—Natalie and some dude we had never met in our lives—were having their first dance.

“Yep,” I whispered, biting back a smile. “We’re at the wrong wedding.”

Bucky glanced at the bride and groom, then back at me. “You wanna leave?”

“Are you kidding?” I grinned. “Hell no. We’re staying.”

He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “Why do I let you talk me into this crap?”

“Because you love me, obviously.” I tugged him toward the open bar, smirking. “Come on, might as well enjoy the free booze.”

We spent the next half hour trying to blend in, sipping champagne and stealing bites of hors d'oeuvres that looked way too fancy for regular humans. Bucky kept looking around, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation. I, on the other hand, was living for it.

“So,” I teased, leaning on the bar, “when are you going to make that speech you promised?”

His face went pale. “You were serious about that?”

“Dead serious.”

Before he could protest, the tipsy glittery woman from earlier suddenly appeared, now holding two glasses of champagne. “Oh my God, you have to give a speech! You’re practically family!”

Bucky looked like he wanted to disappear into the floor. “I’m practically family?”

The woman waved him off. “Natalie will love it! Go, go!”

I shoved him lightly. “Come on, Barnes. Time to shine.”

He groaned but stood up, adjusting his jacket like he was going into battle.

As he took the mic, I could see him searching for something to say. Anything.

“Uh,” Bucky started, clearing his throat awkwardly. “So… weddings, huh?”

I bit my lip to stop from laughing. This was already a trainwreck.

“They’re... great,” he continued, glancing at the bride and groom who were staring at him expectantly. “You know, marriage is like... teamwork. Like... um, the Avengers. You got your Iron Man, who’s always doing his thing, and then there’s Cap—Steve—who’s, uh, really good at giving speeches...”

Oh. My. God.

I buried my face in my hands as Bucky rambled on about superheroes and teamwork, comparing marriage to “coordinating a mission,” and something about “taking down Hydra together.”

By the time he wrapped it up with, “So yeah... uh, congrats, I guess,” the room was dead silent.

Then, suddenly, the bride—Natalie—burst out laughing, clapping her hands. “That was amazing! Best speech ever!”

The rest of the crowd erupted in applause, and I couldn’t stop laughing as Bucky stumbled off the stage, red-faced and glaring at me.

“Did you really just compare marriage to taking down Hydra?” I gasped between fits of laughter.

“Shut up,” he muttered, downing the rest of his champagne. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You love me, remember?”

He grumbled something under his breath, but I saw the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

The rest of the night was a blur of dancing, stealing more fancy food, and somehow convincing Bucky to slow dance with me. He wasn’t great at it—he kept stepping on my toes—but seeing the Winter Soldier awkwardly trying to sway to a love song was probably the cutest thing I’d ever witnessed.

By the end of the night, we were sitting by the chocolate fountain, eating cake and pretending we belonged there.

“So,” Bucky said, licking some frosting off his thumb, “wanna tell Steve about how we crashed the wrong wedding?”

I shook my head. “Nope. This is between us. Our little secret.”

He smirked. “Deal.”

As we got up to leave, the bride ran over to us again, giggling as she handed Bucky a massive box of cake. “Take this with you! You guys were so fun, I’m so glad you came!”

Bucky blinked, looking down at the cake. “Uh, thanks?”

And just like that, we walked out of the wrong wedding, carrying more cake than we could eat in a month.

As we got into the car, I glanced over at Bucky, who was still holding the box. “So... GPS app of yours, huh? Foolproof, right?”

He shot me a death glare. “Don’t. Say. A word.”

I grinned, leaning back in my seat as he started the car. “Admit it, Barnes. You had fun.”

He didn’t respond, but the small smile on his face told me everything I needed to know.

And as we drove away from the most ridiculous night ever, I couldn’t help but laugh. Who knew the Winter Soldier could be such a troublemaker?

MASTERLIST

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

One-Shots

Fury

Dominate

Sleep Striker

Primal Claim

Ownership

Forbidden Alliance

Control Room

Winter Shrink

The Wrong Wedding

Winter Shrink

Summary: When Bucky accidentally gets shrunk to the size of a cat by one of Tony’s gadgets, his girlfriend has to help him navigate life from a dollhouse while avoiding getting squished by her Roomba.

Pairing            : Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Girlfriend-Reader Genre             : Fluff

It started like any other day. Well, any other day when you’re dating a super-soldier who constantly gets roped into Stark’s science projects. You were lounging on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when Bucky burst through the door with that serious look on his face — the one that usually meant some weird shit had gone down.

“Hey babe,” he called, his voice sounding... odd. You glanced up, expecting to see him in his usual towering, intimidating form. Except... you didn’t see him.

You blinked. “Bucky?”

“Down here.”

You looked down, and your jaw literally dropped. There he was, Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier himself, but he was no taller than a freaking cat. Maybe even smaller.

“Jesus Christ,” you gasped, covering your mouth in shock. “What the hell happened to you?”

Bucky, standing on your hardwood floor in his tiny combat boots, crossed his arms over his mini vibranium arm like he was still the most badass thing in the room. “Stark happened. Dumbass was messing with some size-reduction tech. Next thing I know, I’m fun-sized.”

You couldn’t help it—you burst out laughing. Like, full-on hysterics.

Bucky’s tiny face twitched. “It’s not that funny.”

“Bucky, you’re like... like a doll!” you choked between giggles. “Oh my god, I can’t breathe.”

“Glad to see you’re taking this seriously,” he muttered, looking thoroughly unimpressed as he stomped over to the leg of the coffee table. Which, at his current size, was basically the height of a damn tree.

You wiped away a tear, trying to regain your composure. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. But seriously, how long are you gonna be like this?”

Bucky glanced up at you, his tiny hands on his hips. “Tony said a few hours, maybe more.”

“Oh great,” you said, trying not to laugh again. “So what, I just have to babysit mini-Bucky until he figures it out?”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Bucky grumbled. “I’m still the Winter Soldier, doll. Just… compact.”

You snorted. “Right, right. You’re so scary right now.”

Bucky’s scowl deepened, but before he could say anything else, you heard a low hum from the other room. Your eyes widened in realization. The Roomba.

“Shit, Bucky, move!”

“What—?”

You darted forward just as the Roomba rounded the corner like a robot assassin, heading straight for Tiny Bucky. He turned, eyes going wide as the thing came barreling toward him.

“Seriously? A fucking Roomba?!” Bucky yelped, diving out of the way just in time.

You snatched him up in one hand, clutching him to your chest like an action figure while the Roomba buzzed past. “Holy crap, you almost got squished.”

Bucky’s tiny heart was pounding against your fingers, but he quickly brushed it off, trying to act like he hadn’t just narrowly avoided death by robot vacuum. “I had it under control.”

“Sure you did,” you teased, still holding him in your hand like a living GI Joe. “Should I get you a dollhouse or something? You know, so you have a safe base of operations.”

Bucky shot you a glare. “Don’t push it.”

But the idea of him living in a dollhouse was just too good to pass up. You carried him over to the coffee table and gently set him down, making sure to keep him out of Roomba’s range.

“So,” you said, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him, “what’s the plan, Mini Barnes? Just hang out and hope Tony doesn’t take his sweet time fixing you?”

Bucky, who had climbed onto a nearby book to avoid feeling like a speck on the table, shrugged. “Guess so. But if that thing—” he nodded toward the Roomba, still mindlessly circling the living room, “—comes near me again, I’m taking it out.”

You grinned. “I’d love to see that. You, taking down a Roomba with your tiny fists.”

Bucky flexed his mini vibranium arm like it was still the deadliest weapon in the world. “Don’t underestimate me just ‘cause I’m fun-sized.”

“Oh, believe me, I’m not,” you said, smirking. “You’re still pretty intimidating... you know, for a dude who’s shorter than my coffee mug.”

He sighed, running a hand through his shrunken hair. “This is fucking humiliating.”

“Come on, Bucky, it’s kinda cute.”

His eyes snapped to yours, and if looks could kill, well, you’d probably still be alive because it was hard to take him seriously when he was that size. “Cute?”

You nodded, grinning. “Yep. Cute. Like a little tough-guy action figure.”

Bucky groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. “I’m never gonna live this down, am I?”

“Nope,” you said cheerfully. “I’m taking pictures later, too.”

He glared at you again. “If you do, I’ll—”

“What? Glare at my ankles?”

“Doll.”

You giggled, leaning down so you were eye level with him, his tiny face practically vibrating with frustration. “Okay, okay, I’ll cut you some slack… for now.”

Bucky, finally giving up on the idea of intimidating you, collapsed onto the table like a dramatic action figure who just lost his day job. “This better wear off soon. I’m not built for this.”

“Well, you are built small now,” you teased, earning yourself another mini-death-glare.

You were still laughing to yourself when the Roomba buzzed by again, and Bucky, from his spot on the table, narrowed his eyes. “That thing’s mocking me.”

You had to physically hold yourself back from laughing again. “Maybe it is. Maybe the Roomba’s the real enemy here.”

Bucky crossed his arms, staring the Roomba down like he was ready to declare war. “First Stark, then the Roomba. Everyone’s out to get me.”

“Well, at least you’ve still got me, soldier.” You winked at him, leaning back on your hands. “I’ll protect you from the big, bad vacuum.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but there was a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, sure, doll. Whatever you say.”

Control Room

Summary: Bucky’s voice is in your ear, instructing you while the camera rolls; every move is his to command.

Pairings           : Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) x Female Reader

Note                 : sex tape, masturbation, domination

The low hum of the camera filled the dimly lit room, casting a soft glow over the tangled sheets that lay beneath you. Bucky's voice came through the earpiece, smooth and commanding, wrapping around you like a warm blanket, igniting a fire deep within.

“Alright, doll, you ready for this?” His tone was low, a dangerous mix of anticipation and raw lust that sent shivers down your spine.

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. There was something about the way he said doll that made your heart race. Bucky had that effect on you—like he could light you up from across the room, making every nerve sing with desire. “Let’s do it.”

“Good.” He chuckled softly, the sound like a rumble of thunder in the distance. “Now, let’s start slow. I want you to tease the camera for me. Show me what you’ve got.”

You shifted, letting the soft sheets slide against your skin, exposing your body to the lens. The way Bucky watched you felt like a thousand eyes on you at once, but it was only his. You could feel the heat radiating from him, even through the earpiece, and you could practically see the way his dark blue eyes would be glimmering with desire.

“Show me that pretty face of yours, babe,” he urged, the gravel in his voice sending another wave of heat through your core. You bit your lip, trying to suppress a moan as you arched your back slightly, lifting your chest for the camera.

“That’s it, just like that. You look so good when you’re trying to please me,” he growled, and you could hear the slight hitch in his breath. It was music to your ears, knowing that you could bring him to the edge with just a look.

“Now, touch yourself for me,” he commanded, and it was less of a request and more of a demand. You couldn’t help but obey, feeling every bit the submissive under his watchful gaze. Your fingers trailed slowly down your body, teasingly lingering at your thighs before moving to your center, where the heat pooled, begging for release.

“Fuck, just like that. Keep going, don’t stop,” he said, his voice thick with lust, each word dripping with need. You let out a soft moan, closing your eyes for a moment, reveling in the sensation and the sound of his voice.

As your fingers moved with purpose, you could feel his eyes on you—every touch was amplified, every moment stretched out, suffocating with anticipation. “Bucky…” you breathed, not sure if you were begging or pleading.

“Keep it up, baby. I want you to feel every second of this. I’m right here, watching you, and I won’t take my eyes off you.”

You could hear the way his breath quickened, matching the rhythm of your fingers. It pushed you further, igniting something primal inside you, fueling the fire that was building. You knew he was waiting, just a heartbeat away from the edge, ready to take you where he wanted.

“Now, get on your knees,” he ordered, the authority in his voice sending a thrill down your spine. You obeyed without hesitation, moving smoothly to position yourself, the cool air brushing against your heated skin. “Good girl. Now, look up at the camera while you play.”

Your heart raced as you complied, the sight of your flushed cheeks reflected in the lens pushing you to the brink. You could hear the low growl from him, and it sent electric shocks of pleasure coursing through your body. “Damn, you’re fucking beautiful.”

“Bucky…” you whined, desperate for more, for him. “I need you.”

“I know, babe. Just hang tight for me. We’re just getting started.”

With that, he instructed you to switch positions, wanting to take full advantage of the two hours you had set aside for this. “Let’s see you ride that pillow. I want to watch you grind.”

As you shifted again, a wave of confidence surged through you. You positioned yourself over the pillow, feeling the plushness beneath you, imagining it was Bucky’s body instead. You moved slowly at first, teasingly, just like he liked it, but the growing need inside you pushed you to pick up the pace.

“Yeah, just like that. Feel that pressure building? I want you to let go when I tell you to.”

His voice was a tether, holding you close while pulling you deeper into that spiral of desire. You could almost feel his hands gripping your hips, guiding you along, but all you had was the pillow and the sweet promise of his words.

“Now, faster,” he commanded, and you obeyed, the sounds of skin against fabric filling the room. You felt your body respond, heat pooling and building as you chased that sweet release, and Bucky’s breath quickened in your ear.

“Almost there, babe. I can feel you getting close. Just a little more, don’t stop.”

The tension in the air thickened, coiling tighter around you as you desperately chased the edge. “Bucky! I can’t hold on much longer!”

“Then don’t. Let go for me. Now.”

You obeyed, crashing over the precipice he’d crafted with his words and that commanding presence of his. Pleasure shot through you like fireworks, your body quaking in delight as Bucky’s voice drummed in your ear, urging you on, coaxing every ounce of ecstasy from you.

“Good girl,” he praised, and you could hear the satisfaction in his tone. “That’s it. You did so well.”

As your body calmed, you leaned back against the pillows, panting, heart racing. Bucky’s next command was already on the horizon, and you could feel your anticipation building once more.

“Alright, baby, let’s switch it up. Now, I want you to lay back, and I’m going to take control.”

With that, the room filled with a new wave of heat, and you knew the next hour would be even more intense, just as he wanted. The camera rolled, capturing every second of Bucky's relentless hunger for you.

Forbidden Alliance

Summary: After discovering Bucky's intimidating secret dealings with Hydra, you find yourself succumbing to his demanding lust.

Pairings           : Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) x Female Reader

Note               : non-consensual elements, dark themes

The dim light of the abandoned warehouse flickered ominously, casting long shadows on the cold concrete floor. You stood in the corner, heart pounding as Bucky Barnes faced off against a Hydra agent. You’d trusted him, believed in the man beneath the metal arm, but that trust shattered as you overheard their hushed conversation. The words “Hydra” and “deal” echoed in your mind like a death knell.

As Bucky turned, his piercing blue eyes met yours, surprise quickly morphing into that familiar smirk, but it felt sinister this time. “Caught me, doll,” he said, his voice dripping with that charming confidence that made your insides twist. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

Panic surged through you, and without thinking, you turned on your heel, sprinting toward the exit. The cold air hit your face as you burst outside, the night wrapping around you like a heavy blanket. Fear gripped you, urging you to run faster, to put as much distance between you and the man you thought you knew.

You didn’t stop until you were safely inside your apartment, the door slamming shut behind you. Heart racing, you leaned against the door, trying to catch your breath, but dread pooled in your stomach as the reality of what you’d witnessed crashed over you. What had Bucky gotten himself into?

A few moments of silence passed, and just as you thought you might be safe, a loud bang echoed from your door. “Let me in!” Bucky’s voice called out, firm and commanding. “I know you’re in there.”

“No!” you shouted, panic rising again. “Just leave me alone!”

You heard the unmistakable sound of metal on metal as he used his strength to force the door open. It flew open with a loud crash, and there he stood—Bucky, all brooding intensity, eyes dark with a mix of anger and desire. “You can’t just run away from me.”

“Why are you doing this?” you demanded, your voice trembling as you backed away. “You’re working with Hydra! I can’t—”

Before you could finish, he closed the distance between you, his presence overwhelming. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from him. “You don’t get to make demands right now,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “You don’t even know what you saw.”

Your heart raced, adrenaline flooding your system. “Let go of me, Bucky!” you pleaded.

His grip tightening, enough to hurt.

“Buky, no, I don’t…” you whispered, but the warning in your voice sounded weak even to your ears.

“Shut up,” he commanded, tilting your chin up with a finger, forcing you to meet gaze.

You wanted to protest, to argue that you were scared, but the look in his eyes silenced you. There was something evil in that gaze. Before you could respond, he crushed his lips against yours, the kiss fierce and consuming.

He pulled back just enough to breathe, his forehead resting against yours.

“I can’t just forget what you did,” you managed to say, though the weight of his presence made it hard to think. “You’re in too deep with them.”

“Forget?” He chuckled darkly, his hands sliding to your waist, drawing you closer. “That’s the last thing I want you to do. I want you to remember every second of this.”

You felt your resolve weakening, the truth of his words settling in. “Bucky, I…” You faltered, unsure of how to voice the conflict swirling in your head.

“Just give in,” he said, his lips grazing your neck, igniting a fire that spread through your veins.

He undressed himself and ripped your clothes apart, leaving you both bare. His hands roamed over your body with an urgency that made your heart race with fear.

“I don’t want this,” you finally cry, voice barely above a whisper, the thrill of surrender washing over you.

“You think I do care about what you want? Fuck no, bitch!” he growled, his grip tightening as he captured your lips again, the kiss plunging into something primal and raw.

 “Now, let me show you,” he murmured against your skin, lips trailing down your neck.

With a swift movement, he turned you around again, pinning you against the wall, the shock of the cold concrete contrasting against the heat radiating from him. “You’re in my world now,” he murmured against your ear, igniting a fire within you that you couldn’t extinguish.

“Bucky, wait—” you started, but the words died on your lips as he gripped your hair, tilting your head back, exposing your neck to him.

In that moment, as he pressed his dick into your pussy, the lines between right and wrong blurred. You knew you were stepping into the abyss, dive into the chaos that was Bucky Barnes, caught in a web of lust, betrayal, and something dangerous.

And then he whispered, low and menacing, “If you say anything to the Avengers, I’ll make you wish you hadn’t.” His eyes locked onto yours, filled with a possessive fire that sent a shiver down your spine. “You’ll be my little secret. If you breathe a word, I swear, you’ll be nothing but my plaything—my cumpdump—for twenty-four hours a day, forever. Do you understand?”

Your breath caught in your throat. It was terrifying, the dark implications of his words sending your heart racing. You wanted to protest, to scream that you weren’t his.

“Yes,” you breathed, the word barely escaping your lips, and in that instant, Bucky’s expression shifted. It was like flipping a switch; he was both predator and lover, and you were ensnared in his web.

“Good,” he said, his lips curling into a wicked smile. “Now, let’s make this fun.”

With that, he cummed in you.

Their Light | Bucky x reader x Jason

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader X Jason Todd WC: 1,294 CW: Fluff, kinda angsty, slight talks of anxiety, no use of Y/N, Poly relationship Authors Note: I had this idea the other day and I loved it but I couldn't find anything on this. I never wrote a fic before so this is my first one so im sorry if you hate it

Summary: Just you loving Bucky and Jason

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“Buckyyyy.." Bucky couldn't help but smile a little at hearing you whine.

"Yes doll?" Bucky said, looking up at you.

"What time did Jay say he was coming home?" You asked with a slight pout. Bucky chuckled and smiled softly at your pouting and at the mention of Jason.

When Bucky came back to himself, when he could finally be done being The Winter Soldier, he felt that he was unworthy of love from anyone so he pushed the idea away. Then reluctantly became a member of The earth's mightiest heroes.

Then Bucky made a choice to leave the Avenger to leave New York for Gotham to retire and finally just be James Buchanan Barnes he didn't think that he'd fall for anyone. He wasn’t supposed to fall for anyone.

After everything he did, all the people he hurt, people he killed, the lives he forever altered he thought love would never be in the cards for a guy like him, so it wasn't in the plan to fall for anyone. Especially someone who was a vigilante.

A person who helped keep the citizens of Gotham safe. He didn't think he'd fall for someone let alone Jason, let alone The Red Hood. But he did.

He got lucky with not only finding someone as loving and caring as you but also someone like Jason.

Jason and Bucky understood one another better than he thought two people could ever understand each other. They could walk hand in hand through the darkness in a way no one ever could for either of them, they both had done things that they've grown to regret, things that made them hate themselves, that have made them feel undeserving of love from anyone, undeserving of anyone caring for them.

But then they found each other, then they found you.

You brought them out of the dark, you were a light, their light. You help remind them that there's more to them than the darkness that they carry, that they deserved light despite everything that happened, everything that they had done or whatever they went through.

"He didn't say doll. He should be back any minute, he's usually done around this time." Bucky said while grabbing your hand and giving it a light squeeze to try and help reassure you.

You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to ground yourself for a moment, to lessen the anxiety and the stress you felt. You knew Jason would be home soon. You knew that. You only asked to get some kind of reassurance.

Jason had been a vigilante for years, he knew what he was doing, but accidents happen. Accidents have happened to Jason. But that was before you and Bucky.

The three of you didn't know each other before Jason died you never knew Jason as the trouble making kid that tried to steal tires off the Batmobile in Crime Alley. The kid that got taken away from Bruce, Dick and Alfred too soon. You both got there after. After Red Hood first came (or came back) to Gotham after the fighting, the pushing and pulling between The Batman and Red Hood.

You open your eyes when you hear the window in the kitchen that leads to the fire escape open. You get up from where you and Bucky were sitting in the living room to walk to the kitchen to see someone crawling through the window. That person was your other boyfriend, the infamous Jason Peter Todd. You can't help the smile that spreads across your face when you see him in the kitchen still in his gear from his patrol.

You always felt better when both of your boys were home, where you knew they were safe.

Jason takes off his helmet and looks at you with a smile as you walk up to him to wrap yourself around him. He holds you, his arms wrapped around your back while your arms are around his back, while your head goes on his chest.

"Hi sweets." Jason says softly after kissing the top of your head.

He knows how anxious you can get when he's on patrol so he always gives you a second when he gets back to help reassure you that he's really there. That he's home, he's safe. It only takes a few more seconds before you feel another large body pressed into your back, its Bucky, now you're squished between two of your favorite people.

You treasure moments like this.

While Bucky and Jason greet each other and talk, you sit there and just soak up the moment. You can hear them talk but nothing is really registering to you at the moment. After a little while Bucky pulls away and then Jason grabs your chin with his thumb and pointer finger making you look up at him.

"I'm gonna go shower, alright sweets?" Jason said with a small smile then kisses your head softly as you give a small nod and then he goes off to your shared bedroom.

"Are you okay doll?" Bucky asks after a second.

"Yeah I'm fine, just you know my anxiety can get the best of me sometimes." You say with a small shrug, bucky looks at you with a small smile and wraps his arms around you.

"It's okay I know your mind can get the best of you sometimes but he's safe and he's home okay?" you nod and just lean into bucky for a minute.

"Let's get dinner warmed up doll." Bucky says after a few minutes and you nod at him with a smile.

You and Bucky start to warm up the pasta and chicken that was made earlier. You like eating with all three of you together as much as possible so on nights when you knew Jason or Bucky wouldn't be home till kinda late you'd make dinner so that it can be warmer up later so all of you could eat together.

It was important to you to spend that time together, that was one of the things both men loved about you how you always valued the small moments.

After a few minutes of you and Bucky warming up food, laughing and talking, Jason comes out with black sweats on and towel draped over his wet hair.

He smiles at the sight of you and Bucky just laughing and smiling at each other, it's one of his favorite things to see. The two people he loves more than anything being happy and in love.

Jason walks up behind Bucky and wraps his arms around him and then smiles at you, Bucky smiles and looks over his shoulder at Jason and gives him a kiss after a few seconds they pull away and smile at each other. You can't help but let the sight warm your heart. Jason pulled away from Bucky to walk towards you and put his hands on the counter you were leaning on trapping you between the counter and him, he smiles down at you and gives you a kiss that shamelessly shakes you to your core.

When he pulls away from the kiss, you smile at him and he looks at you with those green eyes that you love so much, those eyes that make you melt in an instant.

"Dinner smells good sweets, Thanks for waiting for me, both of you." Jason says and at the end of his sentence he looks over his shoulder at Bucky while Bucky looks at you both with a smile on his face.

"We'll always wait for you Jay." You say hugging Jason while Bucky walks behind him to hug both of you sandwiching Jason in between you and Bucky.

"Always.” Bucky says without hesitation kissing Jason's head

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————-Maybe————

Description

You work alongside Matt and Foggy at the law firm. Of course, as one of the most successful lawyers in the city the one and only Tony Stark would recruit you. As you are trying to find a meaning of your life you find life in someone. It may be a rocky start for you two but maybe it’s worth taking.

Chapter 8:

After that night, well I should say day. After that day things changed. Kidd was going on trial for the murders and you bet your ass I was going to be there fighting for Mr. Miller. I moved back to my apartment and with a little help from Wanda and Karen I organized my schedule with Lydia. It has only been a day and I feel like dying. I moved back in the morning and by lunch time I was back in the office with the team. That afternoon after getting everything situated on things I missed Karen picked up Lydia from Wanda and brought her to stay in the office while we started our case on Kidd. Lydia was typically a good baby but when the attention was all on her or when she was sleeping. I had to leave early so now I am stuck at home with a baby. Nat was okay. A little help from Bruce goes a long way. Tony offered to extend my stay but I explained to him there was no need anymore. “Yes you can have Lydia while I see her” Wanda called me as soon as I got home. Talking my ear off and now she offered herself again to keep an eye out on Lydia so I can go to therapy. I am so thankful for her and Karen but god, it's 7 and it's been a long day and all I want to do is lay down and sleep.

“Great. I will be there at 9 to pick her up. After your appointment can you accompany me to mine?”

“Of course Wanda. Now get some rest”

“But it's just-” I hung up the phone before she could continue talking. “Ready to go to sleep?” I ask an already asleep baby. She skipped her nap thankfully so she was out like a light once I placed her in her playmat. I grabbed her and gently placed her on my bed and created a fort around her. It feels nice spending the night back home. I took a quick shower and went to bed.

In the morning of course Lydia decided to wake me up at 7 in the morning. “You are messing up my schedule, did you know that?” She responded with a cry. “Okay, okay. Let's get you some food.” a quick change and on our way to the kitchen we go. “I don’t have a chair for you” Can’t have her on her playmat, she might learn how to crawl and it's not safe for a baby here. “Guess you are going to be my suchef” I place a 2 slice of bread in the toaster while holding her bottle with my shoulder so I could use my only available arm to make my breakfast. A strawberry toast will be enough for this morning.

“Hey-” I am grateful my friends have a second sense. “That baby on your hip looks out of order” I roll my eyes at Matt. I kind of hope now the knife I threw at him wouldn’t have missed.

“Shut up. You scared me. Here” I extend Lydia to him and push her into his arms. “Let me wash her bottle so I can get ready” With the scare I dropped her bottle. “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking up on you” I know by his look that there was more to his story but I didn’t have time for it right now. I hand him the bottle and as he begins feeding Lydia I start on my toast. “Haven’t seen you in days other than yesterday, just wanted to check in.”

“Well everything seems to be back to normal, other than the baby of course.” She is such a good baby. Ugh.

“What's wrong?” I shake my head ignoring him as I walk into my room. I go into my room to get ready. Once I am done I pack up Lydias diaper bag and grab her some clothes so I can change her into some more appropriate summer clothing. By that time the clock hit 8:40. “I should get going. Someone has to do all the work in the office”

“Tony invited me over for lunch. I will be in this afternoon so show you I can do all the work you did in a week in just an hour” With a laugh he walks out the door just in time for Wanda to show up.

“Is the little girl ready?” Before I could get her up and hand her over to Wanda she dropped all her things to pick her up. “Aww where did you get this dress?” It was an all white with white flower detailing dress.

“Long story. It's a keepsake.”

“Umm. Ok” I don’t know if she just didn’t want to ask or if she just wanted to get back to Lydia but usually she would persist until I tell her.

“She already downed her first milk. I will be back around 10:30. So if you just want to give her a snack in the span of that”

“Got it” I chuckle, grabbing my things and saying my goodbyes. Took my 15 minutes to be at her office door knocking.

“Goodmorning Y/N please take a seat” I feel like a little kid waiting to be told wrong everytime I am on this couch. “How are you?” I hate this conversation starters

“Good. Can we get through this please?”

“Very well” she opens her notepad and prepares her pen. “I hear the latest on your case” fuck.

“Yes. Bad guy tried to kill me just like he killed innocent people. In the middle of all that I got the guardianship of Mr. Miller's baby, that is until her grandparents come and picked her up. Bad guy is in jail. The end”

“Are you doing okay with all of that?”

“Yes. Bad guy in jail so no more threats to my life. Baby is an adjustment but in a couple days it will be resolved” There it is, the first note in her notepad. I think we spent the whole session talking about the case and how I was feeling every second until now. I know how I felt. Maybe I didn’t take the right actions towards every feeling but I have to admit taking the time to associate myself with what has happened in the past days was good for me.

“It seems like the baby bothers you more than the whole threat towards your life” that is crazy. “Remember you have a difficult time understanding feelings” Bullshit. “Also remember to listen and not denie or fight against my words” Fuck.

“The baby will be off to her grandparents soon, no need to care for it if it's stay is temporary” it's true. I like the little baby but I am just her pitstop to people who will love and care for her better than I could ever do.

“You are correct but you also know this has to do with your feeling towards change?” How dare she ask me. Ain’t she the therapist to figure this out? “With the session you have taken you have shown aggression but at the same time sadness at change. You can’t accept it.” Wrong

“Okay I will work on that” Check. The topic is getting frustrating and I tend to let it out with words so to save her and me of any embarrassment I prefer changing the subject.

“Alright we will move on” Another note to her notepad. “So last time we spoke about your past. You didn’t want to get into it a lot but you did tell me something I didn’t catch on until now” Fuck. I said too much. “You don’t want to go back home, why?”

“I have a life here already. Nothing is waiting for me back there and if this is all about honestly well, that place is not my home. It's just that, a place”

“Even a place can hold a lot of answers. I think for this session you can take a visit back home. Take your time but I don’t want you to come back until you do” Hell yeah. That can be days, weeks, mon- “Never mind. I will give you till this weekend to do that” She rushes me to the door and I couldn’t even talk back as the door meets my face. What just happened? There is no way in hell I can do that this weekend. I let that go to the back of my mind. It's Tuesday and I still have 3 days until then, I will figure something out before then. I drive down to my house and see Wanda playing with Lydia on the ground.

“She didn’t want to take a nap”

“As long as she is not crying and grumpy” And no she was not. “Ready to go?” Wanda nods, placing Lydia in her car seat. “Where are we going anyways?”

“It's a surprise” This surprise didn’t last long. As soon as we parked right infront of it and she took one look at my face waiting for my reaction I knew I guessed right. How could she have kept this a secret? Does everyone in the tower know about this? She didn’t even give any sign of it.

“The doctor will be right in” The kind nurse said, closing the door as she left the room we were in.

“When did you find out?” She was laying on the bed calmly as possible

“3 weeks ago. I felt a little change the day I found out. Mine is not normal like everyone else but I decided that I wanted to enjoy it my way.” Lydia was looking around the dark room, surprisingly not scared of the dark. Most babies like to see their surroundings and get uncomfortable in the darkness.

“Does everyone know?” She shakes her head. A big grin appears in her face as she pulls out her phone.

“I want to do a reveal to everyone and I am going to need your help” I gave her a quick nod before the doctor appeared.

“Well let's check how the baby is doing” I look over to Wanda and for a moment I black out. I feel like the one who should be nervous is her, not me. She is having a baby. A human being is growing inside of her and she is going to be a great mother. That was the whole reason she wanted to spend more time with Lydia. That sneaky little thing. “The baby is doing great. Great heartbeat, strong” Wanda smiles proudly like if she had gotten an A in a project “ You are 18 weeks as of yesterday and you know what that means?” She can’t calculate dates right. “We can find out the gender today” She grabs my hands shaking it with excitement

“Can you write it in an envelope, keeping it a secret?” She really wanted to go all out on this which I don’t blame her. Now that I see how much she craves this I am starting to get excited too.

“Of course. Go ahead and change and the nurse upfront will have that for you” We thank the doctor before he leaves. Wanda changes and all the car ride home her smile still doesn’t fade.

“I want those confetti twisty things and this” She shows me her phone real quick so I can go back to focusing on the road. “ The color smoke for pictures” Her smile and picture showing didn’t stop until we were in the tower. She wanted it to be a surprise for everyone else. The envelope was saved in Lydias car seat pocket. “Vis is lunch ready?” Wanda screams walking out the elevator to the kitchen. That seems like a queue for Lydia to start crying. I didn’t want to disturb anyone so I walked towards the old room I stayed in. I close the door and take Lydia out of her car seat.

“Wanda and Vis are finishing lunch so no bottle until then okay?” I tried to calm her down but nothing was working. I changed her diaper and even tried playing with her toy but nothing helped.

“Miss Y/L/N. Wanda says you can come to lunch now” I thank Jarvis and god. Hopefully food helps calm her down. And it did. Atleast for some time, she went back to crying after eating.

“Did you change her already?” I nod “Play with her?” I nod “Maybe she needs another bottle” Tony was about to get up but I shake my head

“She just ate. That will upset her stomach” I don’t know how parents do this. “She has been missing her naps but everytime if I put her down she refuses to sleep”

“Well try again” What else can I do right? I excuse myself and take her to the room again. I read her a book but her crys are still going. I try to rock her to some music but she doesn’t stop crying. Maybe she is sick? I place her in the bed surrounded by pillows and I go into the bathroom. I know I could just go with Bruce to get her checked but a thermostat can help much faster. Bingo, the baby has a fever. Tony orders some medicine for her as I begin to run her a bath. The cries stop but I can tell she is exhausted.

“Just go to sleep. A good sleep will help you a ton” After a couple minutes of nothing. Her just staring at the wall will I talk to her like she was going to respond. I take her out and just put her diaper on.

“Here's the medicine” I thank Tony. He leaves me while I give her the necessary dose and there goes the cries again.

Bucky Barnes Jazz Bar ๋࣭ ⭑

―How did you know about this place? It's 19 years old― my hand was holding hers as she led me to a huge bar with a red sign.

Everyone was dressed elegantly, forming a long line around the place, each of them in suits or dresses, elegant shoes, and shiny jewelry, making me feel out of place as I was dressed in blue jeans, a black shirt, a dark blue blazer, and normal black shoes.

Cass looked beautiful, and for the occasion, she was so herself. She wore a long burgundy red top with a black knee-length skirt, burgundy boots, a long black leather coat, and her burgundy purse where she kept the keys to my bike and my few belongings as I didn't know where we were going.

―I have friends outside the superhero world, and my last name isn't just for death threats or kidnappings; it's also for jumping the line right now― she said with a simple smile, pulling out a white card with a golden number on it and handing it to the security guard with his arms crossed against his chest.

With a simple smile, she handed a white card with a golden number on it to the security guard, who then let us pass by moving aside the rope separating the entrance from the line. Her hand never let go of mine as she guided me through the environment of red armchairs, alcohol, tables, and a stage in front of all the seating areas.

―¿What can I help you with tonight?― a waitress approached us with her uniform and a black tray with small glasses of orange liquid with orange slices inside.

―Good evening, I'm Cassidy Stark, and I reserved a table in the upstairs area; if you could take us there, it would be excellent― she sounded so serious and kind at the same time.

A bit hypnotizing the way she interacted with others, using her privileged position to get things done, something I was used to seeing her do at the complex, albeit in a disheveled manner and always with laughter in her voice.

―Follow me, Miss Stark.

The woman started walking ahead of us, guiding the way from the ground floor, which was filled with people already sitting at tables in front of the stage, having drinks or food and patiently waiting with little chatter to avoid drowning out the smooth jazz that was playing by the live bands tonight. We stood in front of some stairs a few meters from the stage against the wall. These stairs had a ribbon like the one outside but this time with a white sign hanging from the burgundy velvet that read "VIP."

―The reservation was for table 3 next to the bay, ¿right?― she asked as she looked at something on a computer.

I didn't know anything, and I was more focused on seeing the place and its mysterious and reserved aesthetics. But as I looked around and tried to read the decorative signs hanging on the walls, I heard Cass's affirmative voice along with the clinking sound of metal.

―Let's go, Buck― she pulled my hand as she climbed the stairs, leaving the waitress behind to be just the two of us along with a few others upstairs.

We had the best view of the stage, and the lights above were closer, almost as if it weren't for the warm, red lights, we would be in the dark.

―It's a new and exclusive bar because of its mysterious nature and the few reservations it allows. People outside are waiting in case there's room inside, even to stand and be with the people listening to unknown Jazz bands, indie music actually but soft from the aesthetics of the place.

―¿Why did you do this?― I asked as I looked around.

―You need to go to places with people who aren't from your environment. It's called exposure therapy, and since you said you liked jazz, well― she gave me a small smile before we sat facing each other.

―¿So it's like a date?― I asked with a raised eyebrow.

―Something like that.

I chuckled a bit, shaking my head before turning to the candlelight in the middle of the table, casting a warm glow on Cass's face.

―¿Whiskey as usual?― she asked, taking her gaze off the menu to look at me.

―Something normal. You know I don't like those trendy drinks nowadays― I looked at her with a small smile.

―You should try something new in your drinks to know that there are more things than the harshness and pain of whiskey― she left the menu as we heard the voice of a man.

We turned to see the waiter, who was dressed like the girl before, holding a notebook and a pen.

―I'll have an espresso martini, and he'll have a whiskey The Macallan 1926, please― she sounded very firm but kind, giving him a smile.

―¿For food?

―I'll have spaghetti with bolognese ragout― she sounded so good speaking Italian that I didn't think about what I wanted to eat.

They both stared at me, waiting for my response, so I stared back at the guy, trying to compose myself.

―The same as her, thanks― I said in a deep voice.

He left, and I heard Cass's laughter faintly, to the point where I also laughed a bit with her.

―¿Do you even know what you ordered?― she asked incredulously, playing with the napkins.

―No, I'm somewhat scared it might be the worst thing I've ever tasted in my life. I really hope it's delicious― I said, feeling the live music starting to play.

It was calm with light drums and a marked rhythm, with a bit of electric guitar in the background along with a guy singing into the microphone artistically. The song seemed to be about a woman, or at least that's what I thought from the way "She" was repeated.

―It's a Bolognese pasta, but the meat is cooked with milk and white wine. The noodles are a bit thicker than usual, and it's served with grated cheese on the sides― she explained with a small smile.

―It doesn't sound so bad, but the idea of meat cooked in milk and wine sounds disgusting due to the combination.

She shrugged her shoulders, staring fixedly at the stage with attention, her right hand holding her chin with her elbow resting against the table, and her left hand playing lightly with the plants on the railing.

―Your drinks and your plates, and in 5 minutes, your food will be ready― the guy brought the white plates with food and the glasses with the wine bottle.

―Thank you― Cass said, getting comfortable, waiting and watching how they left our food.

The plate was white with clean edges, and the pasta in the middle with the sauce spread nicely, with the touch of cheese on the sides slightly raising the mountain with pieces of meat and tomato randomly placed.

―Enjoy.

He left, and my girlfriend took a photo of her plate along with the glass.

―I don't understand why you do that― I said as I took a sip of my drink.

―¿What?― she asked, putting her phone down near the railings and placing the napkin on her lap.

―The photo of your food. I don't understand why you take a picture of your food.

―Because it's pretty, and I want to take a picture of it. Besides, I like posting them in my stories because it looks nice and aesthetic― she began to eat her food lightly.

―I don't understand this modern era. In my times, photos were taken of people and landscapes.

I tried to mimic the way she ate and picked up the pasta from the plate.

She shook her head while laughing before looking back and listening to the music, her foot tapping a bit against my leg, marking the beat of the song.

We spent the night until around 2 am listening to the same guy with his band, drinking a bottle of red wine and finishing the food with a strange frozen dessert that had a chocolate brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream prepared with champagne according to the dessert menu.

―Thank you, have a good night― the waiter left after Cass swiped her black card.

―¿Shall we, Buck?― she asked, getting up carefully and with her jacket on, along with her bag.

―¿Are you okay?― I asked, standing up.

―Just a little dizzy― she gave me a small smile.

I took her hand carefully to help her down the stairs, seeing how, despite the time, the bar was still full of new people, and the line outside had the same number of people.

―¿Why are there still so many people?― I asked confused.

―The bar is open until 5 am― Cass replied as she brushed her hair out of her face, breathing in the fresh air.

We both walked to my bike slowly, enjoying the cool spring air with the few stars in the sky.

―Buck― Cass stopped us a few meters from the bike, her hand on her chest, looking at the ground.

I thought the worst; two months ago, her "heart" had suddenly stopped while she was chatting with the guys at dinner, and she was in intensive care until this week when she finally got rid of her tube and some pills to take and eat solid things, but we were all worried. I think if Cass were to shut down right now on the street, and knowing I only have 5 minutes to get her to the complex doctors, I wouldn't mind killing people in my way to the middle of the forest far from the city just to save her.

―¿What's wrong, Doll?― I asked worriedly, placing my hand on her shoulder.

Her head lifted to look at me with her eyes before throwing herself into my shoulders and kissing me forcefully, putting her hands on my left shoulder and on my hip, smiling in the middle of the kiss.

―Thank you for giving me a very nice night; I needed to forget about my life for a moment― she whispered on my lips.

Bucky Barnes Birthday In The Country

―I never imagined seeing the Winter Soldier, the greatest and deadliest assassin of the last 50 years, wearing a plastic crown at a children's party― I heard a sweet and amused voice behind me.

I was trying to pour myself more vodka juice from the kitchen and taking the opportunity to catch some fresh air outside the circle of Avengers and parents I didn't know, besides small children running around everywhere.

―Neither did I, this wasn't my original plan for my day off― I replied, looking at her with a small smile as I leaned against the sink.

Cass had her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the door frame, a smile on her face and a glass in her hands.

―I didn't tell you before, but thank you for coming. Lila was very happy to have you here― she said, approaching me slowly with a slight smile.

I sighed with a smile on my face as I listened to her. She had dragged me to a birthday party for Barnes' daughter at the farm, and instead of taking the opportunity to stay alone in the complex reading or listening to quiet music without having to listen to people passing by or arguing, I had knelt before Cass, and now I was at Clint's farm lifting children with my metal arm, wearing a plastic crown on my head.

―I'm sure she was― I sighed, looking down at my feet.

She placed her glass next to mine, and her hands tangled behind my neck with a slight smile. The scent of the perfume I liked was very close to me, almost like a mist on my face, enjoying her smile and the shine of her lips that had nagged me so much to drive slowly below the speed limit.

―Thank you, really. I promise I'll make it up to you― she whispered against my lips, looking into my eyes.

―It's not necessary. I'm just tired and needed a breather― I said, my hands reaching for her waist, feeling her skin goosebumps as she felt my cold metal arm.

―¿Do you want me to leave you alone?― she asked, uncertainty in her eyes.

―No, I never want to be alone if I can be with you for a moment. I just want to be here for a few minutes― I said, looking at her with a slight smile before giving her a small kiss.

She stayed looking at me with a small smile, and I don't know what she was looking at, but I really believe I had the best view. The sunset light hit her face through the window of the house, giving her such a homely and tranquil view that the idea of going somewhere just the two of us reappeared in my mind.

Having a house and living hidden from life, just the two of us quietly leaving behind the Avengers, Hydra, superheroes, or the society on our shoulders, staying in the quietest place in the world alone with our house.

―I would like to have something like that― I whispered, looking into her eyes while playing with her hair.

―¿A children's party or more time together?― she asked, confused.

―A house far from everyone and everything, just the two of us, letting ourselves be carried away by time.

―It would be nice to have some alone moments on a farm and the American dream.

She gave me a small smile, joining her left hand with my metal hand as she reached for a jug of juice since she couldn't drink alcohol due to medication.

―Not just a moment, a lifetime, in secret, and sometimes having missions, but instead of staying in the complex waiting for the next mission or training useless people to waste time, both of us sharing hobbies together without hiding― my flesh hand touched her chin to make her look into my eyes.

―We can't even let my father see us less than 40 meters apart, and you want me to pack my things and go to a house in the countryside? It's very nice, Buck, really, it sounds like something we could really live someday, but it's very difficult. I need medical attention all the time, and I'm always with my father― she said with a sad face, and I looked at the floor.

I let go of her chin to touch the star on her chest. I could see the faint red light coming from inside her chest, her body full of cables and constantly receiving medical attention and medication. It was a reality for her that even though we both wanted to show ourselves, we couldn't, and it would be very unfair, in addition to the increased life risks for her if we separated so much from the complex.

And then there was her father, Tony hated me, and although indirectly Cass tried to make him stop hating me, she only managed to make his sarcastic comments about my past in Hydra, giving me nicknames for my arms, and trying to leave the subject behind or hidden under the rug, but not much more. If he were to find out that I am with his daughter, the least he would do would be to banish me from the Avengers and the complex.

―¿Why is everything with us so difficult?

―Because it shows how strong we are― she touched my chin with the tips of her fingers. ―But I'm aware that the whole situation surrounding us sucks.

―Just a place where we both can be, where we can see each other and just be without the fear on our shoulders.

―We can create moments, we can do things to have a normal life within the parameters, but the idea of a house in the countryside or living alone together is very unlikely― she gave me a sad and melancholic smile, and it hurt my soul to know that as long as we were together, we would live in the shackles of Hydra, my past, and her father.

―I love you― I whispered as I carefully ran my fingers through her hair, looking down at her.

―I love you too― she whispered back with a smile, showing her teeth.

We heard the sound of a conversation nearby, so we quickly separated, me leaning against the countertop and her looking into the fridge with feigned doubt.

―¿What were you doing? Your father is looking for you― Lauren's voice broke the awkward silence.

She looked at us for a moment with a raised eyebrow before walking over to Cass and taking out the birthday cake.

―Tell him I'm coming now― she said tiredly, sighing.

―¿What were you doing?― Lauren asked.

―I was looking for something that doesn't have alcohol but also doesn't have too much sugar. Your husband said there was only orange juice in the fridge― she poured some of the orange liquid.

―¿And your sergeant?

―He needed some time away from sticky hands and loud songs― she sighed, looking at the floor.

She looked at us with a raised eyebrow before tilting her head, ready to leave.

―I don't need you to answer because you'll deny it, especially you, Cassady, but I know you two are up to something, I see it and feel it in the air, but the situation is difficult from what Clint told me, so I won't say anything, and you better both be there for the family photo― she sounded stern as she walked away with the white cake box.

We stayed silent without looking at each other before hearing her laugh.

―¿You wanted a normal couple life? There you have Lauren laughing at us and mocking because we can't hide anything― she said with a smile as she started walking back outside.