Jimin Series - Tumblr Posts

1 | truly

part of the truly, madly, deeply series!

excerpt | you catch feelings for your senior's roommate but unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to feel the same way.

pairing | jimin x architect!reader, highschoolsunbae!hoseok x highschoolhoobae!reader

genre | slight fluff, angst

warning/s | non-covid AU, drinking

lee's notes | another request <3 also, i tested out a new writing format i thought would suit this kind of story so i hope you guys like it!

word count | 5.2k words

go to | home / m. list / faq

Your feelings for Jimin were almost instant, as though they were always there from the moment you two had first seen each other.

JANUARY 5, 2019.

When you first met him, snow was falling outside.

Hoseok had invited you over to the dorms, insisting that he needed to treat you to celebrate the big job offer you had gotten. You bought cases of beer and and a box of chicken on the way, together with a rather late housewarming gift for the rest of the members.

"Come in!" Hoseok exclaimed, happily leading you in through the front door.

He walked you straight into his room and helped you out of your thick winter coat before excitedly cracking open 2 cans of beer. He assured you that all of the members were out on their day-off, and that you two wouldn't need to worry about anyone intruding.

He was proven wrong; however, about 2 hours into the little celebration you two were having. You had just grabbed a chicken drumstick from the box while Hoseok raved about a new dance trend when suddenly—the door opened.

And there he was.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I didn't think you guys would still be here." Jimin said, his expression nothing short of apologetic.

Hoseok quickly shook his head, giving the younger a reassuring smile. "It's alright, Jimin-ie. We were just talking, anyways." He said before briefly glancing toward you. "Oh, have you met my former school hoobae? You guys are the same age."

Upon hearing his remark, Jimin glanced towards you, tilting his head to the side before giving you a smile. "Oh hey, I'm Jimin. Hoseok-hyung's bandmate and roommate."

You smile back and wave, “Hi, I’m (Y/N).”

Little did you know.

MARCH 23, 2019.

When you first talked to Jimin alone, you had just gotten a new haircut.

It was only a few weeks after you first met that you came back to the dorm to spend time with Hoseok. You walked in and politely greeted all of the members before making a beeline for Hoseok's room—expecting only him to be inside. But when you walked in, you were met with Jimin instead.

"Oh, hey." Jimin said as he gave you a small wave from his bed.

He was wearing a white tee shirt and a black pair of shorts, sitting atop his bed with his phone in his hands. He seemed to be resting before you came in, making you feel almost guilty for interrupting.

You waved back at him, flashing him a small smile. "Hey. Sorry—I didn't mean to barge in, I just assumed Hobi-oppa would be here."

This made Jimin chuckle and shake his head. "It's okay, he told me to expect you anyways. He just ran out for awhile to grab some stuff at the convenience store, but he should be back soon." He responded, shrugging at you.

"Oh—alright then."

When he saw that you remained by the door, he cleared his throat before nodding towards Hoseok's bed. "You can sit there while waiting, if you want. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." He added, motioning towards his hyung's bed.

You blinked and nodded, closing the door behind you before walking towards Hoseok's bed. You awkwardly sat down, glancing downwards as you felt the mattress slowly sink beneath you.

"Nice hair, by the way." Jimin suddenly said, surprising you.

"Oh."

The two of you had only met twice beforehand, with both times being rather brief. So, you didn't think he'd notice. But either way, you were slightly flustered upon hearing the remark.

You cleared your throat, the tips of your ears turning a light shade of red. "Thanks." You responded, giving him a small smile which he returned.

NOVEMBER 17, 2019.

When your feelings for Jimin first began to develop, you were all watching a movie.

By this time, it was almost normal for him to join you and Hoseok during your little hangouts at the dorm. The two of you were steadily getting to know each other better, and before you both knew it, a friendship was slowly forming between you two.

For this specific occasion, Hoseok suggested that you three watch a movie—which was ironic, considering he ended up needing to suddenly excuse himself mid-movie.

"I just need to take this call then I'll come back right away, okay?" He said, ruffling your hair.

You simply smiled and nodded, "No problem, oppa."

You watched as he walked out of the room, waving at you and Jimin before closing the door behind him. As you diverted your attention back to the screen, you suddenly flinched upon feeling your phone vibrate. You sighed and checked it, frowning when you read the message.

"Everything alright?" You suddenly hear Jimin ask.

You glanced towards him and nodded. “Yeah,” You responded, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “Just don’t really feel like dealing with work right now.”

Jimin frowned in concern upon hearing this, scooting a bit closer towards you. "Is something bothering you? You can talk about it, if it helps, I won’t judge." He said in a gentle tone.

You sigh at this, placing your phone face down on the bed before turning towards him. You purse your lips, trying to think of how to start. “It’s just one of my team members—he keeps rejecting my ideas just because I’m younger and have less experience.”

As you explained, you neglected to notice the way Jimin’s eyebrows furrowed as he listened, the concern evident in his expression.

“—and, it’s getting kind of tiring, honestly.” You continued with a sigh. “I mean, working in this company had been a dream of mine since I was in high school. But, if all the people I’m going to work with act the way he does, then I don’t think it’s a job meant for me.”

Jimin’s eyes widened at your last remark, quickly shaking his head. “Hey, don’t say that,” he said, lightly nudging you. “Hoseok-hyung always talks about how great of a talent you have, and you shouldn’t let that go to waste just because someone doesn’t want to treat you right.”

As you listened, warmth bloomed in your chest at the sincerity in his voice, his words being exactly what you needed to hear at that moment.

“—besides, you’re a great person, (Y/N).” He added, giving you a small smile. “I mean, I haven’t known you for too long but from what I’ve seen so far, you seem like such a hardworking and diligent person—someone they should be happy to have on their team.”

When he finished speaking, you let out a sigh and glanced toward him, giving him a sincere smile. “Sorry, was that too much?” He asked with a laugh, making you chuckle and shake your head.

“No, it was good actually. I really needed that.” You responded, the smile on your face still lingering. “Thank you, Jimin—really.”

He sighs in relief at this, letting out a chuckle as he nods. “Well, I’m glad I was able to help, (Y/N).” He replied, giving you a smile.

You smiled back, watching as he returned it before looking away to check his phone as it buzzed.

And for the rest of the night, even as Hoseok came back, you couldn’t let go of the warmth you felt in your chest when Jimin comforted you.

DECEMBER 31, 2020.

When you realized your feelings for Jimin were genuine, you two were dancing together.

Hoseok had invited you to the company's New Year's Eve party—saying that you shouldn't need to celebrate the holidays alone. But during the party itself, you remained on the side of the room, silently watching as everyone danced and celebrated in the middle of the room under the bright lights and loud music.

“You can join them, you know?” Jimin suddenly said with a laugh, walking up next to you.

You glance towards him before letting out a soft laugh, playing with the bottle of beer in your hand. You shook your head and took a sip before replying. “I’m not much of a dancer, really. I think I’ll stick to sketching designs.” You responded, crinkling your nose at him.

He chuckled at this and nodded in understanding before taking a chug of his drink as well. “Well, at least Hoseok-hyung seems to be having fun.” He joked, gesturing in front of him.

Hoseok stood far in front of you both, evidently the star of the floor as everyone danced around him. You let out a laugh at this, shaking your head in disbelief.

You glance towards Jimin, a small smile gracing your face as you tried to ignore the way warmth began to spread in your chest upon seeing him smile. "Y-You can dance pretty well though, what are you doing here?" You asked, inwardly cringing at the stutter in your voice.

Jimin simply shook his head before turning towards you. "Well, I would but, I think I'm fine staying here with you instead." He responded, shrugging.

You let out a breathy chuckle at this, taking a big swig of your beer. There was no denying the fact that your heart sped up at his choice at words, despite the nonchalance in his tone.

It was mostly moments like this that you wondered—what if he felt the same way? That, you two actually had a shot? But, at the same time, what if Jimin just acts the way he does because Hoseok knew you? That all the signals were just in your head?

The realizations made you let out a soft sigh as you cast your eyes downward, making Jimin glance towards you. He looks at you worriedly, putting a hand on the small of your back.

“Hey, are you okay?“

Your breath hitched as you feel his touch and you nervously glance towards him. "Y-Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking." You responded, praying he can't sense the slight stutter in your voice.

To your relief, Jimin simply smiled back and nodded, patting your back before pulling his hand away to take a sip of his beer. "Well, if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here."

You smiled at him and nodded back, "Thanks, Jimin."

After a few seconds of silence, he playfully raised his bottle towards you, making you let out a laugh as you clinked your bottle with his. The two of you take big swigs of your beers, feeling the slight bitter taste on your tongues.

"Jimin-ah!" Someone suddenly exclaimed, his voice barely above the loud music playing in the room.

You and Jimin both glanced forward to see Hoseok waving at you two, a big smile on his face. He jogged towards you, putting an arm on your shoulder.

"What are you doing standing here? You should go join us!" He told Jimin, giving the man a playful nudge.

The younger laughed and shook his head, taking another sip of his beer. "I don't know, hyung. I'm having a bit more fun just watching." He teased, making Hoseok roll his eyes and laugh.

"Come on, when is it ever a party if The Park Jimin doesn't grace us with his presence on the dance floor?" He said, causing Jimin to smile sheepishly.

He glanced towards you before looking back towards his hyung, a teasing smile on his face. "Fine, I'll go if (Y/N) goes."

Hoseok looks slightly started upon hearing this, glancing between you two before letting out a chuckle. "Well, what do you say, (Y/N)-ie?" He asked, patting your shoulder.

"Oppa—I don't dance." You responded with a laugh.

Hoseok huffed and shook his head, not taking no for an answer. "Come on, just this once." He said in a pleading tone.

You glanced towards him and then moved your gaze to Jimin, seeing the expectant look on his face as he gives you a smile. After a few moments, you sighed in defeat before nodding.

"Fine." You mumbled, biting back a smile as you hear the two roommates let out cheers.

Hoseok puts an arm around Jimin before pushing you both to the dance floor, letting out a laugh. "Well, go on!" He teased, watching the two of you with a smile.

You stood awkwardly as everyone around you began to dance, Jimin staring at you in amusement. He gently grasped both of your hands in his before swinging you from side to side, smiling as he hears you let out a giggle.

"Just let loose!" He exclaimed over the music, nodding at you encouragingly.

You laughed and continued to hold his hands, letting him lead you through the song with big smiles on both your faces. As you two danced, Hoseok watched, a happy glint in his eyes as he sees his two younger friends bond.

Meanwhile, you unconsciously bit your lip in nervousness as you both moved, the quick beating of your heart getting increasingly difficult to ignore. But Jimin, seemingly unfazed, simply grinned at you, continuing to dance with your hands in his.

And as he continued gazing in your direction gleefully, you can't help but smile back at him, the warmth swimming in your chest.

That night, you realized you that definitely felt something for him—and you weren't quite sure what to do about it.

MARCH 4, 2020.

When Hoseok figured out your feelings for his friend, you were both sitting in his studio.

He was editing a demo for an original song he had written, while you had been sketching some new designs for the company. After a bit of silence, you heard Hoseok pause the music, causing you to glance towards him.

"I have a question." He said, turning his chair toward you.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, clueless as to what he was going to ask. "What is it?" You asked, putting your pencil down.

Hoseok awkwardly cleared his throat, leaning back into his chair. "I want you to answer me honestly, okay?"

You hesitantly nodded, looking at him expectantly. When he sees your response, he props his hand under his chin and stares straight toward you.

"Is there something going on between you and Jimin?"

Upon hearing his question, you suddenly choked on air, your eyes wide. "Uhm–no? What made you think that?" You asked once you recovered, disbelief in your tone.

Hoseok shrugged, slightly amused at your expression. "I don't know, you guys seemed pretty close during the New Year's Eve party." He said. "—and I don't know if you've noticed but you two have been pretty touchy with each other as of lately."

Your cheeks turned pink at this at his words, quickly recalling the last movie night you had with the members.

Jimin had insisted on sitting next to you, saying it was simply because you two both enjoyed the same popcorn flavor. But throughout the movie, you couldn't ignore the occasional glances he would give you, together with the several moments his hands would brush against yours.

"I don't know what you're talking about," You simply mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "Besides—why would Jimin ever date someone like me?"

The words slipped out of your mouth before you could help it, making you inwardly cringe. But Hoseok is quick to refute your claim, nudging your knee with his.

"Yah, don't put yourself down like that," He said, frowning. "Jimin should count himself lucky to know someone like you."

He observed your reaction, quickly catching the slight sadness in your eyes, making his frown deepen. The gears slowly shift in his head and his eyes suddenly widen.

"(Y/N), do you like him?"

You sighed at his question and looked at him, about to deny it until you realize your expression practically gives it away. Hoseok reads your face and gapes at you, surprise in his eyes. "Oh my god, you do like him."

He watched as you wince at his conclusion before glancing towards the ground. "Is it that obvious?" You asked, playing with the hem of your hoodie.

Hoseok's eyes soften at your tone, rolling his chair closer to you. "Not really? But, I don't know—would it really be that bad?"

You sighed and shrugged, finally having enough courage to look at him in the eyes. "I guess I'm just kind of tense," You say. "I mean, we only began to get really close recently and I don't want to scare him away by telling him."

Hoseok nodded understandingly, leaning back into his chair. "But, you'll never know how he feels until you tell him." He says, as though he knew something you didn’t.

You huffed at this and nodded, "I know, I guess I'm just not ready yet." You responded.

Hoseok sighs at this, choosing to simply respect your decision. "Well, whether or not you decide to do it, I'm here if you need me, okay?"

You smile at Hoseok's remark and nod, thankful to have a friend like him.

DECEMBER 9, 2020.

When you finally confessed to Jimin, the two of you were walking by the Han River, watching as the sun slowly began to set.

A significant time had passed since your conversation with Hoseok, and you couldn’t help but think of what he said every time you would see Jimin.

This time though, it was a little different.

He had texted you a few hours before, asking if you were free to spend some time with him alone. He seemed pretty upset when he messaged you, so you couldn't help but stop what you were doing to accompany him.

"This feels nice," Jimin said, stopping in his steps as he faces the water.

You smiled and nodded your head, halting in your steps to stand beside him. The pair of you took a seat on a nearby bench and stared into the water, a comfortable silence filling the atmosphere.

"Are you feeling better? You seemed pretty down earlier."

Jimin hummed at this and slowly nodded, glancing towards you with a small smile. "Yeah, I am. Thank you for agreeing to come with me."

You smiled back, happy to know he seemed okay. "No problem, Jimin. I’m just relieved to know you’re better.” You responded, leaning back against the bench with a sigh.

As silence once again takes over, Jimin lets out a sigh as he leans his head back as well. "To be honest with you, the members were just a bit too much today. So, I just needed to kind of get away from everything.” He explained, staring towards the sky.

You nodded, glancing towards him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He sighed, unconsciously playing with his fingers. "It’s not even that big of a deal honestly, I don’t know why I got so worked up.” He said, biting his lip.

You look at him, giving him an encouraging nod to continue.

“Joon-hyung brought up how the management is thinking of making us go on tour again.”

Upon hearing his words, your expression falters. Jimin notices this and lets out a sigh, shaking his head.

"I mean, don't get me wrong—I love seeing our overseas fans. But, we're on the go all the time." He said in an exasperated tone. "I haven't even gotten around to meeting most of my old friends from high school—let alone be able to message them."

You frown at this, placing a comforting hand on top of his. Jimin smiles at you gratefully before glancing back forward, watching the water as he continues.

"I've also just been having so much fun spending time with people outside the industry—people like you." He admitted. "And if I do leave the country again, I'll lose contact with everyone and it'll be like I didn't make any new friends in the first place."

He finished with a huff, his hand still in yours. Meanwhile, you looked at him, slight warmth in your chest as what he said began to sink in.

"That must be really hard," You mumbled, slightly turning toward him. "I never realized that would be a problem you guys experience, but it's completely valid."

Jimin nodded at this, giving you a small smile before you continue.

"But look, as hard as it may be, friendships are meant to be strong—no matter the circumstances." You said. "So, even if you're abroad, if your relationships really are solid, then you shouldn't have a problem staying in contact with them."

You let out a chuckle when you finished talking, playfully giving Jimin a nudge. "I can even text you every day if it helps." You teased, smiling when you see Jimin let out a laugh.

"Really?" He asked, a big grin on his face.

He playfully nudged you back, making you let out a laugh as you nodded. "Of course."

You both smiled at one another, Jimin's fingers slowly interlocking with yours as the color of the sunset reflects on your faces. You feel thankful for the pink color of the sky, as it perfectly hides the just as pink tint on your cheeks.

As you felt the warmth spread through your body, you awkwardly cleared your throat and smiled at Jimin, pulling your hand away. His smile slightly falters for a second when you do, but he immediately covers it up as he purses his lips.

"Everything okay?"

You smiled and nodded, reaching behind you to unravel your scarf. "Yeah, it's just getting a bit warm." You said, huffing when you realized it seems to be stuck on your necklace.

Jimin quickly noticed your issue and moved closer to you, reaching behind your neck. "Here, let me help." He said, unclasping the necklace.

You both smiled in triumph when you successfully separate the scarf from your neck, your necklace still in Jimin's hands. But as he moved to give it to you, he suddenly hesitated, looking as though he was thinking of saying something.

As Jimin remained deep in thought, you tightly clasp the scarf in your hand, a whirlwind of thoughts also occupying the space in your mind.

Everything was perfect—you two were alone, it was peaceful, the weather was good. Was it a sign?

You bit your lip anxiously, weighing all of the pros and cons in your head before you once again recall what Hoseok once told you.

"—you'll never know how he feels until you tell him."

Jimin snapped out of his thoughts before you did, wiping his clammy palms against his coat before turning back toward you. As he moved to give you the necklace, he noticed the distracted expression on your face.

"(Y/N), you good?" He asked, playfully waving his palm in front of your face.

You snap out of your trance and look towards him, gazing straight into his eyes. Jimin blinks moving one of his hands towards his right cheek,

"Is there something on my face?" He asks, wondering why you were staring at him so distractedly.

Then a second passes, and two.

Before suddenly—

"I like you."

The words slipped out of your mouth before you could even process it. Your eyes travelled to Jimin, immediately spotting the shock in his expression.

"I-I'm sorry." You quickly said, standing up abruptly. "You don't need to say anything. I'm sorry—it just came out of nowhere." You mumbled, biting your lip.

Jimin continued to stare at you in surprise, standing up after you do. "(Y/N)," He mumbled, his voice unreadable.

You couldn't tell what he was feeling, but the small frown on his face was enough for you to know how he felt.

"I should go." You quickly said, biting your lip.

You grab your purse from the bench, silently cursing as you already feel the tears prickle your eyes.

How embarassing.

You sharply inhale and turn towards Jimin, forcing out a small smile. "Thank you for tonight, I uh—I had a great time." You said, stepping backwards.

"—and I'm sorry if I ruined it."

You quickly walked away from him after you were done saying goodbye, unable to stay any longer.

As you left, Jimin blinked in shock, watching your back as it grew further and further away from him, your necklace still dangling from the palm of his hand.

DECEMBER 28, 2020.

When you next saw Jimin, it was the same day you bought yourself a new car.

By this point, it had been almost 3 weeks since your accidental confession to Jimin. "Please just give me time. I promise I'll give you an answer." Was what he texted you the exact morning after your confession.

You couldn't help but go through all the lengths to avoid him after receiving the text, unable to scrape the memory of his shocked, sad face from your mind.

Yet here you were, in front of the Bangtan dorm, a day after Hoseok had invited you to come over. You told him about what happened a few days after it did, and he immediately expressed his sympathy toward you.

But when he found out you were getting your new car from the dealership right by his dorm, he managed to convince you to come over—saying the other members missed you and that Jimin wouldn't be there anyway.

Just drive-by and pick me up. You can't avoid my dorm forever. You recall him saying, a sigh leaving your lips.

You hesitantly rang the doorbell to the house, backing away slightly when it opens. But when you see who's inside, your eyes softened, a small smile gracing your lips.

"(Y/N), I missed you!" Namjoon instantly exclaims, tackling you into a hug.

You laugh at this and hug him back tightly before pulling away, the smile on your face widening. "I missed you too, oppa. How have you been?"

Namjoon smiles and leads you inside the house, closing the door behind you. "I've been good. Just the usual." He responds, causing you to let out a soft chuckle.

At least the others seemed to not have changed.

"Oh! Hobi's in his room, by the way." He said, assuming you were here to visit him.

You smiled at Namjoon gratefully and nodded, thanking him before walking out of the living room towards the stairs.

As you walked up the familiar set of stairs and arrived in front of the familiar door to Hoseok's room, the heaviness in your chest became increasingly difficult to ignore.

But you took a deep breath, telling yourself there was nothing to be nervous about. You bit your lip and twisted the doorknob open, heart immediately dropping at the sight in front of you.

Hoseok is nowhere to be found.

And on the other side of the room was Jimin, on his bed with an unfamiliar girl seated on top of him. They seemed to have pulled away from each other just as you opened the door, their ruffled hair and unbuttoned tops both being tell-tale signs.

When Jimin's eyes land on you, he quickly pushes the girl off of him and onto the bed, standing up. "(Y/N), it's not what it looks like—" He said before you quickly cut him off as you leave and shut the door.

Your chest is suddenly unbearably heavy, the pain from seeing Jimin with another girl suddenly being too much to handle.

Of course.

He didn't actually need time—he just needed an excuse to reject you.

The thought had tears spilling out of your eyes, the palms of your hands beginning to tremble as a sob almost leaves your mouth. You quickly walked down the stairs and towards the hallway, thankful to see that it seems to be empty.

But as you walked up to the door, you hear a voice that immediately makes you stop in your steps.

"(Y/N)," Jimin said, his voice almost sad.

You hesitated before turning around to meet his eyes, not bothering to hide the tears that glide down your cheeks. Jimin sees your face and sighs, standing still.

He breathed in, eyes landing on you one last time before they moved to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, his voice trailing away.

You swallowed at this and looked away, biting your lip. You take a deep breath, gathering your emotions before you looked at him one last time, a sad smile on your face.

"I'm sorry too." You croaked out before turning around and leaving through the front door.

And for a brief moment, as you left, you hoped that he'd run after you and tell you to stop.

But he never did.

So, when you walked back into your car and finally felt the tears continuously fall down, you couldn't help but let out a sob as you felt your heart crack into two.

You sobbed, and sobbed, the tears from your eyes spilling onto the material of the brand new car seat below you.

And then, you felt your phone buzz beside you.

Your heart stopped as you hesitantly checked it, hope slowly rising from the bottom of your stomach.

But it quickly dissolved as you read the message, another feeling forming in your stomach instead.

Mr. Dae: Hi (Y/N), I hope you're doing well. This is kind of sudden but, would you be willing to come to my office within the hour? I'd like to discuss an offer with you. Specifically, one that involves a three-month job in Italy.

You almost let out a chuckle when you finish reading the message, dropping the phone onto your lap as you closed your eyes and leaned your head back in disbelief.

Timing. You think. Such a funny thing it is.

FEBRUARY 4, 2021.

When you last saw Hoseok, you were boarding for your flight at the airport.

“Do you really have to go?” He said with a frown, watching as you brought your luggages out of his car. “You know, Bang’s been wanting to renovate the BigHit building for awhile now. Maybe I can get him to contact you about it instead.”

You laughed at this and shook your head, “I’ll only be gone for a few months, oppa. It’ll pass before you even realize.” You replied, giving him a small smile.

Hoseok huffed in defeat, helping you close the trunk before walking you to the airport entrance. “I’m just sad, you know? You literally just moved to Seoul less than two years ago and now you're moving away again?"

You frowned at this, turning towards him. "I know, oppa. But I just can't pass on this opportunity, you know?"

When you finally met with your boss, he told you all about the offer—his words still as clear as day. "A client in Italy saw your blueprint and was impressed. He reached out to our Europe office and wants to work with you." He explained, watching as you stared at him in pure shock.

You recalled the memory, watching as Hoseok simply nodded and let out a sigh.

"I'm going to miss you, (Y/N)-ie." He said, a pout forming on his face.

Your heart warms at this, a pout also forming on your face as you tackle Hoseok in a hug. As much as you'd hate to admit it, you were definitely going to miss him too.

"I'll call you every day." You mumbled, tightening your grip around him. "I'm gonna miss you too."

Hoseok smiled and hugged you back, sniffling. "I'm holding you to that." He joked, causing you to chuckle.

As you two pulled away, your eyes quickly widened as you see a tear leaving his eyes, another chuckle leaving your lips. "Yah! I'm not moving!" You joked with a laugh. "It's not like we won't see each other again."

Hoseok pouted and stared at you, playfully punching you in the chest. You stared at him in disbelief, unable to help it as a tear comes out from your eyes as well. "Oh come on, now you're making me cry!" You exclaimed, wiping your eyes.

He laughed and wiped his eyes as well, "Look, just promise me you'll stay safe, okay?" He said, giving you one last smile.

You smiled back, holding back any other tears threatening to fall as you nod. "You too, oppa." You replied, patting him on the back.

He led you to the entrance, pausing when he sees it’s time to leave you.

“So this is it, huh?” You mumbled with a chuckle as you glanced toward him.

Hoseok simply sighed with a smile and gave you one last hug before pulling away.

“Go kick some European architect ass.” He said, making you let out a laugh.

You smiled one last time before walking past the guards by the entrance, turning around to face him. “I’ll call you as soon as I land!” You exclaimed, waving at him.

He smiled and waved back, motioning for you to walk. “Yes, now go! Before you miss your flight!” He responded.

You grin and nod, waving at him one last time before beginning to walk around the terminal, finding your designated airline crew.

And about an hour later, as you sat in your airplane seat watching as your plane slowly left the ground, unconsciously overlooking Jimin as he stood in front of your door, two cups of your favorite coffee in his hands as he hoped he wasn’t too late.

“DON’T CARE IF IT HURTS MASTERLIST 

Summary: After a rival gang makes an attempt on your life, Your older brother, the infamous leader of Seoul’s largest gang; Kim Namjoon, gets you a guard hybrid; Park Jimin, The reigning champion of Seoul’s underground hybrid fighting ring.

(Hybrid! Park Jimin x Reader) (unrequited! Jung Hoseok x Reader) (Kim Namjoon x Kim Seokjin)

✥ PROFILES MOODBOARD SERIES: ✥ MIN YOONGI ✥ JEON JUNGKOOK ✥ KIM TAEHYUNG ✥ JUNG HOSEOK ✥ KIM SEOKJIN ✥ PARK JIMIN ✥ KIM Y/N ✥ KIM NAMJOON ✥

INSPIRATION POST( CAUTION: SPOILERS)  

PART 1: “I want you to protect her.”

PART 2: “I’d much rather have a friend.” 

PART 3: “They call him the Monster.”

PART 4 “I’ll always keep your head above water.” 

PART 5: “See you later Hellhound.”

PART 6:  “You promised me a dance.”

PART 7:  “A declaration of war.” 

PART 8:  “If I were a human man, could you love me?”

PART 9: “Just in case.”

PART 10: “Carry that weight” 

PART 11: “When you’re gone.” 

PART 12:  “Good Things” 

EPILOGUE: “Will you marry me?” 

PROLOGUE SHORTS SERIES (Hoseok x Reader)

(1) Sweet Lies and Bitter Truths 

doin’ time - PJM

after that…riveting evening spent with Jimin, you think he’d be the perfect candidate to help you with the few things that you don’t know after discovering that the real thing is far better than the books. he only has one rule: you’d have to keep your little arrangement a secret.

⤷ lust for life masterlist

pairing — step bro’s best friend!jimin x nerdy!reader

genre/rating — R | smut, fluff, slight angst, fwb2l

word count — 6.5K

play — doin’ time by lana del rey

warnings/tags — summer holiday, rich kids au, college au, strong language, small age gap, inexperienced!reader, flirty jimin, blond jimin, sexual discovery, corruption kink, insecurities, virgin!reader, vaping, manhandling, mouth fetish?, oc lowkey loves money, she’s v h0rny in the part lmao, mentions of masturbation, jimin’s unspoken rizz lmfao, explicit smut — dirty talk, a single spank, oral (m), he teaches oc some stuff 😵‍💫, cum eating, teasing, brief handjob, thigh riding, lots of kisses + one hickey, jimtiddies & biting

note: can be read as a stand-alone !! this jimin 🥴

Puberty. All over again.

Keep reading

i hate everything about you | pt. 1 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to lovers | a lot of angst | a slightly little bit of a love triangle

18+

・word count: 6.7k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・banner: by the amazing @kookdiaries

・A/N: firstly, i want to wish our baby mochi the happiest of birthdays! i really wanted to have something to post on his birthday, since i couldn't do it for any of our other boys this year ):

i also want to say that i'm really happy/surprised with the huge amount of attention the teaser for this fic got! i felt so inspired, thank you all for taking your time to share it and to talk to me about it too !! <3

i hope you enjoy this first part and i promise i won't take too long to put out part 2! here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe also shoutout to the anon who asked for the black haired jimin header back lol this one's for you

as always, thank you to my fave person @primadonnasdream. without her, i would never be able to write any of my stories.

feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist: @imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc

There are about eighteen thousand bars in Seoul. You know this because you’ve just googled it. Out of curiosity? Not really. Just because you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that out of all the bars in Seoul, all the eighteen thousand bars in Seoul, Jungkook had to pick the one where your ex is currently working. 

Not to blame it on Jungkook, poor guy. There was no way in hell he could know this and you’re sure that if you told him, he’d be crushed, since, according to him, he’s been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out for months. To be fair, you didn’t even know Jimin had left his partner, Seokjin, and his own bar to start working behind the counter again. Not that it's any of your business, anyway. He can go to hell for all you care, especially after dumping your ass three days before your four year anniversary for some random girl he met on that stupid fucking bar of his.

That fucking stupid bar he clearly didn’t even own anymore. Joke’s on him.

It broke your heart in a way you’re not sure it’s ever going to heal. He meant the world to you, all that butterfly bullshit and everything. When he left you, it felt like your world was falling to pieces. You shared a life, even shared a home. A small apartment near his stupid fucking bar, you were so happy when you two finally moved in together. 

Building intimacy takes time, compromising to someone else’s well being and happiness costs more than only your time. Learning how to share your space, your insecurities, your feelings, your everyday life. That shit takes time. Giving yourself to a person takes more than that. It takes courage. 

You gave all of that and much more to Park Jimin. But you regret doing so with every fiber of your being. Learning to live your life again without having him in it was one of the hardest things you’ve had to do so far.

You had your share of revenge after fucking his best friend, Taehyung, and making sure to tell him about it when you went to your apartment to get his stuff back. If you felt like shit, you had to try to make him feel at least one percent of the heartbreak you had been feeling. After that, you heard that he and Taehyung got into a physical fight and had cut ties. 

It was definitely not a very peaceful break up experience, both of you were extremely proud people and could not stand losing. It took you a great amount of therapy sessions in order to stop dreaming and thinking about him 24/7. 

Do you still believe in love after that? You’re not sure, probably not, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Jungkook was a very sweet and flirty distraction in the middle of your heartbreak. Not to mention the guy is hot as fuck, but right now, you swear you could just punch him in the face. 

Because out of all the bars in Seoul, here you are. At the one your fucking nasty ex boyfriend works in. 

As soon as you walked in, you felt something was off with this one. It felt like the universe itself was trying to spare you from this experience. Of course, you didn’t listen to your intuition, especially because Jungkook told you a friend of his has been talking wonders about the drinks from this specific bar. 

Once you looked over at the bar, you saw him. For a split second, you froze. He looked as gorgeous as ever, dark locks obscuring his eyes from where you could see. You didn't allow yourself to feel any type of way with the sight of him, you were over him, you definitely didn't want to go back to the pit where you recently came out of, thank you very much. He was too busy with whatever he was doing at the moment to notice you, fortunately. You just rushed over to Jungkook, locking your arms out of nervousness, leaving him quite giddy about it. 

Did you ask him to leave and look for another place to spend the night? No. 

Should you have done so? Maybe.

But you wouldn't deny yourself the satisfaction of showing Jungkook off to him in the place Jimin works. It didn't matter that only looking at him made you miss him more than words can ever say, you know that he’d feel pissed out of his mind. You’d deal with your feelings some other time.

“Looks nice, huh?” Jungkook asks you with a sweet smile hanging on his pierced lips, bringing you back to planet Earth.

You nod faintly, showing him a warm smile. 

“There's a balcony back there, do you see it?” He asks again, holding your hand now. You weren’t even able to react to Jungkook’s gestures properly, you were too lost in your thoughts about Jimin. “It’s got a very nice view of the city, if anything, we can take some nice photos here. You look hot, by the way”.

“Oh- I- Thanks, Jungkook. You too, by the way”, you tried smirking. “A-Are we getting a table or what?”

You usually don’t get thrown off by his compliments. You love when it happens, of course, but you’re usually good at flirting, you see he gets slightly puzzled as to why would you react like that all of a sudden.  

“Are you okay, Y/n?” He asks you, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, a little concern can be sensed in his voice tone. 

“Of course! Why do you ask?” You reply, tilting your head a bit, trying to sound convincingly confused. 

You would not simply ruin your date by mentioning your ex boyfriend is the bartender he’s been listening compliments about.  

“Nevermind… Why don’t you go ahead and grab us a spot on the balcony? I’ll do the honors and order our drinks. Any preferences?”

“Surprise me”, you challenge him, squeezing his hand before letting go of it, still trying to hold the confident demeanor he’s used to. 

You head over to the balcony, not really looking over at the bar, trying your best to forget about the fact that Jimin was here and could notice you’re here too at any moment. The most annoying thing about this situation is that you’re feeling too nervous about seeing him. Much more than you should be.

So what Jimin is here? You’re over him, remember? Get your shit together. You’re here with Jungkook, enjoy your date.

You try distracting yourself by scrolling on your social media, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just trying to keep your mind away from Jimin. You can’t really understand why you feel almost shaky, maybe that’s how your body reacts to someone you hate. 

You only had the courage to look into his direction again when you felt Jungkook was coming back to your table, with a warm expression adorning his beautiful features, holding two drinks in his hands. It would have been the beginning of a nice date, if you couldn’t see Jimin’s eyes shooting daggers in your direction from above Jungkook’s shoulder. 

Yes, he’s seen you already. Of course he’s seen you. 

Naturally, since you noticed Jimin’s eyes on you, you were simply not able to relax. Jungkook was acting like his normal charming self, completely unaware of what was going on inside your head. You simply nodded whenever it felt like he was waiting for a reply from you.

“Why are you nodding? Did you hear what I said?” He asks you, with an embarrassed half smile, making you feel slightly guilty for not giving him the attention he deserves.

Damn you, Park Jimin.

“Sorry, Kook, I zoned out for a second. What was the question again?”

“I said the restrooms here are amazing and that you should see it”, he repeats himself, pointing to the drink in front of you, he continues. “I need to use the toilet again, by the way, do you want another mimosa?”

“Oh, sure. Thanks”, you reply with a gentle smile, the nicest one you could flash at him.

You honestly liked him. He was a very good person, from what you could tell. Unfortunately, you completely lost the focus on this date, maybe it was your fight or flight instincts taking over your thoughts, but the only thing you could think about was Jimin’s burning gaze on you and how badly you wanted to escape.

You were pretty sure you got over him, he’s your past. That’s a fact. He is past, there’s no other way. The idea that he can look at you like you’re doing something wrong by moving on with your life makes you feel livid, that’s all there is to it. 

He’s always had the talent to make everything be about him, but this time around it genuinely pisses you off. This whole situation was actually just a coincidence, he’s the one needing to get over himself.

“So, who’s the idol wannabe?” A voice startles you.

A voice you know all too well.

Following the sound of this voice with your eyes, you contemplate the one and only Park Jimin, the man who cheated on you. The once love of your life. You refuse to allow his presence to affect you in any type of way, though.

“Idol wannabe?” You snort, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Oh, you mean my date? Wow, Mini, you sound so frustrated when you put it like that… Cause, you know, you’re an ex idol wannabe too”.

“Very funny, babe. Who’s the guy?” He jerks his head in the direction Jungkook went, with an authoritative expression on his face.

Like he had any right to be asking you questions about your life. 

“What’s that, Mini? A public jealousy display?” You figured the best way to deal with him was by not giving him what he wants.

“Isn't that what you wanted bringing him to the place I work?”

“I can’t believe- Why do you think I care about how you feel or don’t feel, Park Jimin-ssi?” You blurt out, trying to keep your composure as much as possible. The last thing you want is to make a scene. “It’s funny that you think I’d give myself the trouble to make you feel jealous. I didn't even know you left The Wave”.

“And you expect me to believe that?” He cocks his brows, eyes not leaving your face. “You're a character, Y/l/n Y/n-ssi”.

“As I’ve stated before, Park Jimin-ssi, I do not care about anything that’s related to you anymore. I’m sorry if my presence here feels like an insult or whatever, but, you know… You should have moved on with your life by now too”, as you spit these words at him, you see his eyes flickering with an indignation he would not be allowed to lash out the way you know he wants to, because, after all, this is where he works. “So, if you excuse me, my date can come back at any second and I have no interest in letting him know you’re my ex”.

He grimaced, not uttering another word. That is so unlike him, it’s funny... and kind of weird. He has quite the explosive demeanor and you know you were kind of harsh to him right now. You almost feel guilty, but then you remember how humiliating it was finding out about his infidelity.

What he made you go through was way worse. 

Placing a Daiquiri glass in front of you on the table, he smirks, but you see his smile does not really meet his eyes, covered by a darker cloak you couldn’t actually explain where it came from. 

“Alright, Y/n-ssi. Here’s your drink”, bowing to you, as he takes his leave. “You’re looking as gorgeous as ever. Good luck with your idol boy”. 

“Jimin-ssi, that’s not really what we ordered”, you raise your voice tone slightly, just so you made sure he could hear you.

“Oh, I know, babe. But we both know you’re not really much of a mimosa woman”, he answers, the irony lying underneath every single one of the words that came out of his mouth, turning to you again. “I know you very well, unlike your date, apparently. Don’t worry, this one’s a little more expensive, so, it’s on me”.

He blinks at you, turning on his heels again, this time around not taking another glance in your direction again, leaving you with an almost bittersweet taste in your mouth, that only goes away when you see Jungkook’s smile getting near you again. 

He sits in front of you again and you honestly don’t understand how you allowed Jimin to get under your skin for even a split second. Jungkook was everything you could ask for a guy to be: stunning, into you and not your complicated ex.

“A daiquiri?” He asks you in a gentle tone, knitting his brows together. “Sorry, I guess the bartender didn't understand what I said”.

“No. It’s fine, I’ve started drinking this one already”, you state.

It’s kind of cute that he paid attention to you to a degree in which he noticed the drink you were having. He’s a sweetheart, but Jimin was right, at the end of the day. You’re not much of a mimosa girl. 

“Don't worry, he’s the one who made the mistake… I’m sure he’ll bring you a new one”, Jungkook turns in what you know is Jimin's direction, with his right arm raised, gesturing for him to come over to your table. Then, he turns back to you, with a sweet smile hanging from his pierced lips. “He’s coming”.

Jungkook calling him over was something you simply didn't expect to happen, you didn't have time to react, to think about something to say or for a reason to stop him. You figured you couldn’t have a very strong reaction here, since for all that matters to your date, this guy is just the bartender, not your ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended really badly. 

Naturally, it doesn’t take Jimin more than ten seconds to get to you, and knowing Jimin, he would stop anything he was doing so he could come over and be petty, if possible. 

“Can I help you?” You hear his voice, but refuse to turn your head in his direction.

You know he’s looking at you, though.

“We have actually ordered a mimosa, but, maybe there was some confusion, and we ended up getting a daiquiri instead. I was wondering if there’s something we can do about it”, Jungkook had both sides of his mouth turned up in a likeable smile, as he gazed in Jimin’s direction. 

You know Jungkook’s niceness would only piss Jimin off even more. 

“Oh, yes, the daiquiri. There’s no mistake, actually”, Jimin mimics the smile Jungkook flashed at him, but you know his isn't a heartfelt one. “I think it suits her better than a mimosa. Anything else?”

“I’m sorry?” Your date’s brows snapped together and the niceness in his smile dissolved into disbelief. “How did you come to a conclusion about the type of drink she prefers?”

“Oh, believe me, I know it”, Jimin snapped back, in a controlled tone. 

Jungkook’s eyes darted in your direction, kind of looking for some sort of endorsement to what he was saying to Jimin, obviously baffled by the boldness of this guy. He, obviously, didn’t find the same kind of expression on your features. It didn’t take him too long to understand that something was off, in a split second, you saw the realization dawning in his face.

You felt cold to your bones, concentrating on using every single bit of what was left from your self control in order not to run away from this bar and leave both of them bickering over the goddamned daiquiri.

“Well, she seems pleased with your choice of drink”, Jungkook tried, clearing his throat. “Thank you for your service, I guess. Keep up with the good work”.

Jimin bows to Jungkook and then to you. 

The atmosphere Jimin leaves behind is so heavy you can almost touch it, you feel the air weighing all around you and Jungkook, who was focused on playing with the napkins on the right side of your table. You open your mouth, but the words just refuse to leave your lips.

You don't even know how to start. What could you possibly say in a situation like that? Most importantly, would you be able to actually explain anything without bursting into tears in front of Jungkook? Not only did you run into your ex for the first time in almost a year, but also he had to come over and make a scene in front of the guy you were seeing.

It was only your second date with Jungkook, after going out for a very nice dinner, in which the two of you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes. If only you two had gone two any other of the eighteen thousand bars in this city, you would have never seen Jimin and you’d also not be feeling this terrible uneasiness in your chest.

“So”, Jungkook breaks the silence, but you see he’s still looking at his hands as if those damn napkins were the most amusing thing in the world. “You apparently know each other”. 

“We do. But honestly, I don’t really want to get onto this, Jungkook. Sorry”, you confess, not really knowing if you’re angry or simply dejected by this encounter.

Jungkook could have also just not mentioned the fact that it was clear you and Jimin have some kind of history. Why do men have to be so clueless all the time? Honestly, it feels like a curse liking men sometimes. The whole situation was so off putting, you truly just wanted to go home, it didn’t matter Jungkook was hot and the nicest guy ever, Jimin was able to kill the mood for you completely.

You see Jungkook is fighting some sort of  internal battle and you feel extremely bad for being the reason behind it.. He had been the sweetest person you had a date with in a very long time. You obviously were not ready to try dating again, Jimin was still all over you, and unfortunately, not only figuratively speaking.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess", you finally break the silence, making Jungkook look at you again. "I honestly don't feel so good right now…"

"Yeah, I imagined. All I can do is wholeheartedly tell you that it's alright if you wanna go home or something. I don't really know what happened between the two of you, but I can tell something definitely happened", he sympatized and you could tell he was being genuine, not really knowing why, you just saw it in his eyes.

You feel like going home, for sure. Just laying in bed for a couple of hours and crying your eyes out would be the only medicine for this. Maybe, tomorrow after work, you’d need the “best friend plus romantic sad movies combo”, but you’d be alright. Unfortunately, seeing Jimin after this time apart was not as easy as you thought. You just knew that the lump in your throat wouldn't just disappear after installing itself there once again.

Looking deep into Jungkook's eyes, searching for some sort of judgment or resentment, which you do not find, you muster up the strength to be fully honest. If nothing, he deserved it.

"I do want to go, Jungkook", you confess, taking his hand, that rested upon the table, into yours and squeezing it lightly. "I'm really sorry for being a louzy date tonight. I promise I'll try to make it up to you".

"Hey, don't worry…" He says softly. Jungkook squeezes your hand back, but lets go of it and pulls it back, leaving yours hanging on the table by itself. "I have kind of waited a long time to ask you out, but I can wait some more. Date number one was amazing, but we can’t always win. I just want us to have a good time together. I'll let you make it up to me, it's fine".

“I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine”, he shakes his head, a soft smile hanging loosely on his pierced lips, sounding convincing enough to you. He is genuinely a good person. “But for out next date, you’re the one who should be asking me out. Deal?”

He extends his tattooed hand to you, still beaming at you. 

“Fair enough”, you shake his hand back, feeling a little better for his reassurance. “Deal”.

You must be the most stupid person to ever walk this earth and you know it. Losing your chance with a guy like Jungkook is one of the most ridiculous things you've ever put yourself through. But what can you objectively do? You just ran into your ex and it was awful. You just wanted to cry curled up onto your pillows until you forgot, once again, what the sound of Jimin's voice felt like against your ears. You were in no mood for small talk and flirtation anymore. It was better ending the night like this, than being a statue around him, right? And if he said you could make it up to him later, you could really try to. 

You know that if you weren't feeling this blue, you'd be embarassed as fuck. Maybe, tomorrow, you will. 

Jungkook insists on paying for your drinks, saying that you could pay on the next time. Good to know that he's really counting on a next time and he didn't say it just to be polite before. Fortunately, he doesn't really offer to take you home and you call yourself a car. All you wanted was to be alone with your thoughts for a while.

This whole situation wouldn't be this awful if you didn't feel Jimin's eyes on you the whole fucking time. You knew he was watching the whole scene unravel in front of his eyes with an indescribable delight. 

Indeed, he won this time. But you could only hope that this was the only battle he'd win from now on. You needed to find your way back to yourself. 

And you will, it’ll just take you a little bit of time again.

The light breeze gently touches your skin, as you feel the warmness of the rising sun delicately kissing your hair. The star emerges from behind the hills, as you stand in front of them, tall and strong, deeply rooted to the depths of the earth.

Suddenly, you hear a very loud noise, sounding like a distant bell. Looking around you, you’re not able to find the source of it. It’s not possible that it’s coming from one of the trees, is it?

You hear it again, this time, longer and more annoyingly depriving you from enjoying this beautiful day out in the meadows.

But then, you realize this is a dream. And as soon as the realization hits you, you wake up. You hate being an occasional lucid dreamer, who wakes up as soon as you notice you’re in a dream. It has prevented you from fulfilling many of your fantasies with your celebrity crushes because you always feel like the scenarios are too good to be true.

Then you hear the unblessed noise that woke you up one more time, noticing it’s been the sound of your doorbell this whole time. Finally finding your phone, after your hands grop on your bedside table looking for it, you see it’s 3:27 in the morning. Why the hell would anyone ring your doorbell in such an ungodly hour? 

Well, a burglar wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? You reason, trying not to freak the fuck out. 

The doorbell rings one more time, then you hear what seems to be a muffled attempt at verbal communication. Should you go to the door? Should you call the cops? You have no idea. 

It could be one of your neighbors looking for help. What if it was an emergency?

“Mrs. Hong? Is that you?” You blurted, voice a bit shaky from the anticipation. 

You hear another muffled response, not really understanding anything this person is saying, but you know it definitely isn’t Mrs. Hong. 

Fuck, Y/n, are you stupid? Whoever this is, now they know you’re inside!

You feel your whole body starting to tremble, heartbeat racing as the worst images possible flash through your mind. You want to go back to your bedroom, call the cops and hide under your bed until someone comes to save you from whoever is this weirdo at your doorstep. The sound of your parents’ voice saying you were crazy for moving out of their house to live by yourself echo through your brain and you can feel the tears start brewing in the corners of your eyes when you’re able to distinguish a word from the muffled bumbling from outside your door.

You are positive you heard the person finishing their sentence with a “babe”. Instantly, you feel a warm wave of relaxation invading your body, in contrast with the uneasy feeling you had a minute ago. You know exactly who it is on the other side of your door. Looking at the peephole, you find the exact person you expected to see leaning against your door frame. Park Jimin. A very, very drunk Park Jimin, from what you can see.

Your hand goes straight to the door handle, opening the door with a blunt movement. When he realizes what’s happening, his eyes land on yours and you see them turning into the shapes of small crescent moons, as a smile rests on his plumpy lips. 

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, Jimin-ssi! What the fuck are you doing here?” you bark, watching the smile disappear from his face. 

“Sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to scare you! I just want to talk to you and if I’m here, it’s your fault! I could have just called, but you fucking blocked me everywhere”, he pants in a high pitched voice, one he uses when he’s allowing his irritating to take control over him. 

“It’s almost four in the morning… You’re clearly drunk… I really don’t want to do this, Jimin”, you state, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Please, get the fuck out of here before you disturb my neighbors too”.  

Slamming the door on his face, you turn on your heels towards your bedroom, but before you’re able to walk four steps in its direction, Jimin’s voice can be heard from the inside again. Only this time, he didn’t have his face buried on your door and he was shouting in front of your house.

“Y/n-ssi! I just want to talk to you, pleaseee”, and the there was a knock on your door. “Y/n-ssi! Let me in, Y/n-ssi!”

You feel your blood boiling like magma in your veins, knowing you gave him the perfect weapon to use against you when you mentioned your neighbors. He knows you wouldn’t want these people to talk about you, to talk about the guy who was making a fuss by yelling your name for the whole street to hear in front of your house. You know him and you know that he knows how he plays his games, even when he’s drunk. In a blunt movement, you open the door and grab Jimin by his coat, this time, dragging him inside. 

For a second, the two of you just stare at each other. Due to the closeness, you’re able to sense the scent of his cologne, the musky one you gave him on the last Valentine’s day the two of you have spent as a couple. You hate him even more for not getting rid of what’s left of you in him. 

“You wanted to talk, didn’t you? So, talk!” You hiss, crossing your arms in front of your chest, feeling the need to break the silence before you did something you’d end up regretting.

He blinks, clearly still mesmerized by the fact that his lousy strategy to get you to do what he wanted worked. 

“I saw you left not even five minutes later from that… Well, awkward moment”, he wiggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly as he speaks. “You got yourself a nice suitor, huh?”

“The moment was awkward all thanks to you!” You fumed, unconsciously raising your pointer finger in his direction. “You asshole!”

“Why am I the asshole here? I just told him the truth!” He stated emphatically, with a flicker in his eyes you were just not able to identify precisely.

You were able to smell the alcohol in his breath, due to the closeness, and you felt even more disgusted to be in his presence.

“After cheating on me, you think you have the right to come back and interfere in my love life?” You whisper, angrily. It feels like the temperature in your house is rising, but you know it’s just your anger making you feel hot on the inside. “What did I do to you, Jimin-ssi? Why do you feel like destroying my life every chance you get? Just leave me alone!” 

You see your words have an effect on him and whatever he was about to say, you feel like your words have just stopped him from going on. He sighs loudly and when you were about to kick him out of your house, he starts again.

“Who… Who is he, babe?” He looked down as the question finally left his lips. 

You almost missed him, his arms around you, his voice whispering soft words in your ears. You almost allow his vulnerable demeanor to get to you.

Almost, but you know better.

Sighing, just like he did seconds ago, you voiced.

“Why do you even care, Jimin? You have nothing to do with my life anymore, you know?” You run your hands through your hair, nervously, looking away from him for a second. “As I’ve told you earlier today, you should’ve moved on by now, after all, you were the one who chatead. Own up to your mistakes, dear, you’re a grown ass man. And stop calling me babe!”

He looks at you, wide eyed after you snap at him. The fact that after all these months without seeing him, you were finally able to say everything you wanted to say to his face brought you some sort of relief. 

“When I saw you today, after all the time we’ve been apart, I realized that's the problem… I have nothing to do with your life anymore. I miss you, Y/n”.

It's so hard to hear him saying those things. Mostly, because, deep down you know you miss him too. It hurts so bad to know that you can never have him back, despite loving him. You'd never be able to truly let go of what he did to you. Acknowledging it was the hardest part, it felt like the lump in your throat just got bigger. 

“You can't change that unless you have a time machine”, you said under your breath, more to yourself than to him.

“I can't believe he took this away from me too… Fuck…", he snorts, rubbing his face harshly with both of his hands.”

“What are you trying to say? Who is he?", you ask him impatiently. You would not have him just throwing crazy and riddled information at you at this point. "Are you talking about Taehyung?

“No. It's not about Taehyung. Nevermind", his eyelids drop as he mumbles.

“Really? Is that how shit’s gonna go down? You come to my house to pester me in the middle of the night like you had the right to still be in my life after what you did? And you talk in riddles, like, if there's something I still need to know, now's the only time!” You stop, trying to find the right words to try to get to him as much as he did to you. He didn't move, his eyes were still closed as you spoke. As he made no move, you felt like you could continue. “You know what’s funny, though? I guess if things had worked out with miss thing, you wouldn’t be here right now. So, thank you for showing me you’re just a lonely piece of shit. It's good to know you're in pain too”. 

“You still have no idea, do you?” He snorts, mouth agape as he eyed you.

“Oh well, I don't know if I do. Please, enlighten me, Jimin-ssi. Did the illuminati make you cheat on me or something?"” Scorn spewing out of your words.

He looks at you once more, his eyes burning with longing. It just made your blood boil even more inside of your veins.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t even say how all of that broke my heart in, like, one million pieces”, he whimpered lowly, his head down as the words left his lips, not really entertaining your mockery.

You snort. 

“How all of that broke your heart? Have you considered that if you had not cheated, we’d still be together? Have you thought about how all of that broke my heart?” You poke him angrily on his chest, feeling the unwelcome misery settling once more in your chest once you heard Jimin’s words. “It was all your fault, Jimin! If we’re not together right now, it's your fault! You broke my heart!”

You vomit all those words at him, holding back the years with every single bit of strength left in you. His eyes travel up to meet yours as you spoke, Jimin’s features are clouded by something you can’t quite name. Is it regret? It must be, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Maybe he’s genuinely sad about it too, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Or maybe there was really something he was trying to tell. 

Whatever it is, hee deserves to deal with it on his own. You don’t have to allow him to drag you back to the hole of pain you were able to come out of, very recently, by the way.

“You’re right, Y/n-ssi. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He sighs, running his hands through his dark locks that fell to the sides, looking partially messed, in a very attractive way. “Again, I’m sorry. For everything. Maybe, someday-”.

“Yeah, sure. It doesn’t matter anymore”, you cut him short. You just can’t do this anymore, you can’t listen to him whining. Not without bursting into tears and you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him. 

On the other hand, the attraction you feel for him, right now, standing before your front door, his features barely lit by the only source of light coming from your bedroom behind you. You hate him for still looking great, for still messing with you, for still being the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You hate yourself too for feeling like that about him, after all this time.

“Is… This guy. Is he nice to you?” He breaks the silence, his voice as soft as feather touch against your ears.

“He’s just a guy, Jimin. But just stop… Stop asking”, you mutter. “Please, just go”.

He nods, still gazing at you with his magnetic dark eyes.

“I hope you know this”, he points to himself and to you, as he jerks his head in your direction. “Us. Me being here. It means I still have very strong feelings for you. Very strong feelings I can’t control, I guess”.

“I don’t wanna know, Jimin-ssi. Really”.

“I’m sorry, but by the way you still look at me… I’m sure there's still something there. Maybe you’ve done a nice job locking it away, but I know it’s still there”.

“I don’t-”, you stop yourself, and turn to him with a louder tone. “Just fucking go!”

The control you had over yourself so far was gone, you just want him out of your sight. Hopefully, out of your mind too.

When it finally seemed like he was ready to leave, he turned to you once more, gazing intensely into your eyes. Before you had the chance to tell him the get the fuck out for the last time, he had his arms around your waist and his lips found yours; hungrily. 

His kiss was exactly the way you remembered. Intense. Passionate. Breathtaking. Right. It just felt like home. His tongue pursues yours in a fervent twirl and your tongue corresponds in the same intensity. His hand travels upwards, resting on the nape of your neck, spreading a pleasurable warm sensation where it touched. 

He pins you up against the wall, his lips not leaving yours for a split second. He pressed his body against yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck, enclosing any space that could be left between your body and his. He felt so warm against you and the way his touch felt against your skin made it impossible for your brain to think about anything other than the right now and how much you longed for him.

“I’ve missed this”, he said softly, his plumpy lips against yours. “So much”.

He presses his lips against yours once more, but now you realize you can taste the soju on his tongue. Then, you come to your senses.

You’re missing your drunk ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night. This is the man who cheated on you. The man who made a fool out of you and didn’t give a fuck about your feelings. You swore you wouldn't allow him to touch ever again. Here you are, breaking your own promise. Worse part is, maybe he won’t even remember anything that was said or done when we wakes up tomorrow.

In an instinctive impulse, you push him as hard as you can, trying to create as much distance as possible from Jimin. You don't face him long enough to know what happens to him, besides the confused look on his face after forcing him away from you.

“Jimin-ssi… Just get the fuck out of my house”, you start babbling, but trying to control the wobbliness in your voice. 

You hate yourself for being so weak, all it took him was a kiss and you almost dropped all the defenses you’d worked so hard to build up.

“Y/n, just hear me out, please… I wanna tell you everything”, he cried out, his somewhat wobbly voice coming from behind you.

“Jimin, please!” You murmur, imploring. “Just leave me alone.

And there was silence. It felt like time had stopped, you just focused on not allowing the weight on your chest to take over you. You don’t know how long it takes, but you hear your front door being slammed, then all you could do was allow yourself the tears you were holding back to roll down your cheeks in an attempt to release this pain from your chest.

nectar | pjm

Humans have this annoying habit of being drawn to danger, and you’re having a hard time stopping yourself from sinking your teeth into your new roommate. You’re not sure what’s more tantalizing: his impossibly good looks or his seemingly innocent way of flirting with the darkest part of you.

» pairing: human!jimin x vampire!reader 

»date & wc: May 2022 | 16k

»genre: BTS | 18+ | roommates to lovers | supernatural au | (why do i keep writing college aus??) | smut | angst | fluff (maybe?)

»warnings: alcohol | biting (it’s a vampire fic, duh) | blood | blood play | choking | degradation kink | discrimination (humans vs. vampires) | fingering | hypnosis | lots of swearing | masturbation | pain kink | reader is kinda mean to jimin for most of the fic | scratching | slapping | unprotected sex | vampire venom gets jimin high

»notes: *tiktok sound* this shit rated porn !!!! pls pay attention to the warnings. i don’t wanna freak anyone out unexpectedly!! but anyway this was really fun to write. i looooooove supernatural aus and i wanted to make a member the human for once. so i hope you freaks enjoy! 🧛🏽🩸💦

» masterlist | ao3 | send me ur thots 👅

»what was jai listening to?nectar - wayv // boy meets evil - bts

PART ONE | PART TWO

Ambrogio University had the bright idea to open its doors to humans. Having been a private university for vampires for five centuries, the controversial decision to end the admissions practice of denying humans was the university president’s final declaration before retiring. She had been known for operating from a far more inclusive mindset compared to previous presidents. But despite her charitable mindset, most current students, alumni, and staff were up in arms about the whole thing. Even a few trustees were ready to pull out of supporting the university (and many of them actually did). Not only was there a social shift on campus, but there was a sudden concern about the financial impact of opening the university’s doors to humans. 

Still, the efforts were underway with full force. A flood of humans were applying as first years, and even more were transferring from human-only universities. 

Which was how you ended up with a new human transfer student, Park Jimin, standing at the front door of your dorm with a backpack slung over his shoulder, a large cardboard box in his arms, and a suitcase at his feet. You’re sure he’d given you a proper greeting, but all you could focus on was his prominent Adam’s apple and his muscular neck. 

This shit was stupid. 

Keep reading

all of you | masterlist

banner by the lovely @kithtaehyung​ 💕​

pairing ↠ ceo!jimin x reader

genre ↠ friends to lovers | arranged marriage AU (fluff, angst, smut)

18+ | series warnings ↠ drinking, swearing, explicit sexual content, an unwanted arranged marriage, pregnancy. (warnings will be more detailed for each part.)

summary ↠ Park Jimin is your definition of perfect. He’s talented, handsome, and dedicated to everything he does, making him the man of your dreams. But what happens when you both wake up one day and realise that’s all you had together…  a short dream?

word count ↠ 115k+

↠  prologue

↠ part 1

↠ part 2 (m)

↠ part 3

↠ part 4 (m)

↠ part 5

↠ part 6

↠  part 7

↠  part 8 (m)

↠ all of you: forever (epilogue)

bonus drabbles: (coming soon!)

# 1 — sweet cravings (m)

# 2 — the first time

# 3 — tobias returns

+ more to come

mini-playlist here!

if you read and enjoy this series, please let me know!  send an ask / message / comment — i love hearing from you! <3

all of you | masterlist

banner by the lovely @kithtaehyung​ 💕​

pairing ↠ ceo!jimin x reader

genre ↠ friends to lovers | arranged marriage AU (fluff, angst, smut)

18+ | series warnings ↠ drinking, swearing, explicit sexual content, an unwanted arranged marriage, pregnancy. (warnings will be more detailed for each part.)

summary ↠ Park Jimin is your definition of perfect. He’s talented, handsome, and dedicated to everything he does, making him the man of your dreams. But what happens when you both wake up one day and realise that’s all you had together…  a short dream?

word count ↠ 115k+

↠  prologue

↠ part 1

↠ part 2 (m)

↠ part 3

↠ part 4 (m)

↠ part 5

↠ part 6

↠ part 7

↠ part 8 (m)

↠ all of you: forever (epilogue)

bonus drabbles: (coming soon!)

# 1 — the first time

# 2 — tobias returns

mini-playlist here!

taglist is open — comment/dm/send an ask to be added :)

if you read and enjoy this series, please let me know!  send an ask / message / comment — it would mean so much to me! thank you <3

Induratize (m) | 01

Pairing: Prince!Jimin x Princess!Reader

Genre: Royalty AU.

Warnings: Angst, Smut (future), Fluff.

Words: 7k

Summary: Prince Jimin had grown up despising people from your empire and vice versa. When your father weds you to the crowned Prince of Haelyra, your kingdom’s sworn enemies, as a form of alliance to fight a greater evil, you struggle to make sense of your new life as the future Queen to be and deal with a husband who cannot stand you.

A/N: this is the cliche cold prince and sweet princess (mostly) trope bc @jimin-calicocat and I are sucker for those. also this is dedicated to her as well uwu. Ty for hyping me up. This is just the start as it will be hopefully a short series but no smut in the first chap this time lads. Gotta build up to the sexy times :))) don’t forget to drop by and let me know how you liked this fhjbfjwerefhjrebf bye. Moodboard cred. to @yminie

This was it. The day had finally come. Not that you were awaiting it too eagerly. You had contemplated running away, really. But where could you go? On one side of your kingdom lay the Auzopan Empire whose threat of invasion was already becoming imminent. The other lay the Haelyra Dynasty, your kingdom Munia Empire’s sworn enemies for generations. Rivals that have been slaughtering your kingdom’s peoples for centuries and vice versa. It was a never ending battle of making sure the other did not get the last kill. It was horrific and preposterous but it had been this way for as long as you could remember. And you were to marry the crowned prince from that same kingdom, Park Jimin, in less than an hour. Tales of the brutishness of his empire had been the ones you’d grown up hearing from the maids in your castle. The same tales mothers told their crying children at night to quieten their shrieks. Tales your father told his own kingdom in favour of inciting appreciation from his people for his generosity as a king, as a protector of your nation. But where did that get him? Indebted to the same King he had claimed would tear your nation apart if it hadn’t been for your family ruling the land, making sure the beasts were at bay and to make sure his people where never intimidated.

Keep reading

Omggg this was so good💥 Please add me in your taglist. Thankyou!💗✨️

.DarkSide.

Teaser. Part One. Part two.

Pairing : dark! Mafia Jimin x reader (f)

Genre : oneshot, yandere, arranged marriage.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings : No warnings for this chapter tbh, just a lot of cursing by our y/n , hot and sexy jimin, mention of violence and blood, angry and frustrated y/n, annoyed jimin, slight angst, cold and super rude jimin. ( the next chapter is probably gonna be full of filth and gore violence. Jimin's darkside will be visible in the next part)

Summary : after the demise of your father, you were forced to marry a mob boss who was a decade older than you. He has always been ruthless and marrying someone like him wasn't your first choice, but living with him made you crave for his attention. For getting his attention you were repeatedly acting out until one day he decided to take the matter in his own hands.

A/N : this is purely fiction, I don't encourage these type of activities outside the fictional world. Please go through the warnings before reading it. But if you would like to read more please let me know. 💗

You were naive, Naive enough to think that love like fairytales exist. Often as child you heard your mother explaining how you were going to get your prince Charming who would take you away from here and will end your misery. You always believed that one day you'll going to find someone who would love you wholeheartedly unlike your dad.

You knew your dad wasn't too emotionally attached to you but you had faith in him that he would find the perfect Prince Charming for you. you barely knew your dad.  He was the boss of one of the biggest gangs in Seoul, and as his only daughter, you had been kept well away from the criminal lifestyle he led. Expensive boarding schools, lavish holidays abroad during Christmas and summer, a fat allowance every month and free reign with his black credit card that you never had to pay off. Growing up, you’d had everything you’d ever wanted – except for the love and attention of a father.

You loved your father, yes you did but you were disappointed when you heard his last wish.

When you thought of marriage, you always wanted someone different from your dad. you thought of tender caresses and knowing smiles between husband and wife. You dreamed of shy, newlywed touches and a honeymoon phase that lasted forever. You dreamed of being doted on, spoiled, taken care of, shown off – you dreamed of it all and wanted it all.

But your father had different wishes. He promised you to someone who isn't even completely familiar with your presence. He didn't even asked you beforehand. You were too shocked and hurt to even voice out your opinion in front of everyone other than your own mother.

“I won’t do it!” You had yelled, stamping your heels against the marble floor of your foyer. “Mom, I swear to God. You can’t make me marry some man I don’t even know, just because Dad wanted me to! For fucksakes, I’m meant to be going to las Vegas with the girls next week! The Vegas, Mom! Not a wedding! Not my own fucking wedding!”

“You have to.” Your mother had said simply. “It’s been arranged. It has been for a long time. You may not have known it, but your father and the Park family have been planning this union for years. To bring the two biggest families in the city together as one. It’s what your father would have wanted. And Park Jimin has graciously agreed to marry you. It’s all set.”

“Fuck Park Jimin ” You had whined. You knew him. You had seen him around the few summers you had actually spent in your hometown. He was older than you, a fair bit older. But he was handsome – every girl in the area was crazy about him. He was also silent, brooding, dangerous – the man in charge of the one gang bigger and deadlier than your father’s. “I don’t care what he’s agreed to. I’m not agreeing. You hear me, Mom? I don’t want this. It’s not happening. It won’t happen. I won’t let it!”

Your wedding was held privately, only yours and Jimin's family were present. You had to admit, Jimin was looking the finest piece of ass on your wedding.  Shoulders broad and fit snugly into a black and white tux. Blonde hair neatly gelled back. You wondered if Jimin is really forced by his parents too. Because every time he looked at you, he smiled. The softest kind of smile. The kind of smile which told you he isn't here because he was forced to.

You never knew Jimin personally, you've only heard about him. Even if he's smiling at you like he's the kindest person you've ever met,  you should know he is NOT. He's the head of the underworld's dirty business, he takes care of every illegal shit out there with a smile. He's ruthless, cold, dangerous and what not, you've heard every thing about him.

You still had a vague memory his, when you were in  your last year of school and your cousin had taken you to a club, showing your fake id to the security. You saw him there, surrounded by girls. There were rumours about him, about his bachelor lifestyle, how he used girl after girl and then discarded them without a second glance. Somehow, it didn’t make sense for a man like that to be settling down.

But Jimin seemed so assured as he said his vows, exuding power and charm with every word he spoke; even the small crowd seemed amazed by him. Which was crazy to you, because all of them must know that this whole thing was an act, right? But when it was all said and done, and Jimin leaned down and kissed you, pressed his pillowy lips softly against yours and held your jaw gently as he did, you could feel your heart flutter just a tiny bit.

Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

_

" Fuck, it taste like shit. " You whined as you tasted the kimchi stew. You exactly made it like the recipe which the maid gave you, but guess you can't actually cook. For once you wanted to do something like an actual housewife does. But it's all in vain, you can't serve this to Jimin. You pinched your nose in disgust and threw the food in the bin, washed your hand and settled down on a nearby chair.

Jimin would be home soon- you called him before to make sure if he's coming tonight or not. Almost every three or four days in a week, Jimin stayed outside because of his illegal work. You thought of making him dinner but now you are back to zero.

You have to think fast before he arrives. You can't serve him nothing, nor like he would care- you murmured bitterly. You walked up to the front door, swinging it open. The guard on duty raised an eyebrow at you.

" What do you want Mrs. Park.? " The guard asked.

" I cooked shit, so make one of your guys go and get rose ttaekboki for two people along with some cheese gimbap and make sure to add the glass noodles in ttaekboki. " You ordered and the Guard immediately nodded his head, gesturing to the other guy to bring it for you.

Jimin sure did have a lot of guys stationed outside his house – “Anything else, Mrs. Park ?” the guard asked.

" No, that will be all. " You as you closed the door and went back inside. That was one perk of being the wife of Park Jimin -  having about a dozen of his   men working for him at your beck and call. They’d get the food and wine and anything else you asked for, knowing Jimin would do something drastic like have them killed if they disobeyed.

You wonder if they knew what happens inside the house.

Jimin isn't really fond of you. He made sure to let you know that when you guys returned back from your wedding. As depressing as it sounded. You didn’t even know why you were bothering to ensure there was food for him when he got home. Because he had let you know from the moment that he married you, he hated your guts.

When you first arrived here, after your wedding you still remember his actions. You had grown up with money but it was nothing compared to how lavish Jimin's house was. He had pools, tennis courts, an indoor cinema, he practically lived in a palace. And he had stood to the side, hands in his pocket and an unreadable expression on his face and you on the other hand were feeling giddy to see such luxury.

Your room’s on the second floor, third door.” Jimin had said curtly. “All your suitcases have been unpacked. The maids are in their quarters downstairs if you need anything else.” And then he had left. Without another word. Just turned on his heel and walked out the door, probably to attend to some type of his wicked business – on his wedding night no less.

And three months later, it was still more of the same. Jimin barely looked at you, barely spoke a word to you unless he really had to. You hadn’t even seen the inside of his bedroom, and he had never stepped foot inside yours. Your bedroom which was all soft pastel coloured and girly, fluffy  rug and vanity table and everything. You wondered if he’d ordered it to be decorated exactly to your taste, thinking it was what you’d like – which it was – but no. Jimin barely knew you, he hadn’t even tried to get to know you.

The only time Jimin did act like a normal, nice and loving husband was in public. In the eyes of other people, he was perfect, doting, amazing. Often, you’d go to events with him, club appearances or charity galas thrown by his business partners – fronts for more money laundering, undoubtedly, not that Jimin ever shared any inside knowledge about his business with you.

And you’d be on his arm at those galas, dressed in some expensive dress you’d bought with his money, letting him parade you around with his large hand on the small of your back. And you had to give Jimin props for his acting skills, because he’d look at you with sparkling black eyes that actually looked like they were in love – how did he even do that? – and he’d introduce you as his wife, he’d kiss you, whisper softly to you, tuck your hair behind your ear. And everyone would smile and congratulate you both on being such a beautiful couple.

And then you would come home, and he would go to his room and you would go to yours. No words spoken. No more touches. No more smiles. Not even a look.

So you couldn't understand why we're you stressing yourself for him. You shouldn't care if he's well fed or not. Three months into the marriage and you can't believe nothing has changed, and you don't think it'll ever change.

But still you try, wearing a cute blue knee length dress, bought by of course Jimin's card now, styled your hair in a cute messy bun and few strands of your hair were falling on your face which made you look cute tbh.

You wish that Jimin might today notice and realise that, oh my wife is looking actually cute and hot and maybe i should treat her more like a wife or maybe a human atleast......... You thought bitterly.

The doorbell rang. It was one of Jimin’s guys, a bag of food in his hand. He handed it to you quickly, barely making eye contact with you before scurrying away. That was another thing. Ever since you’d married Jimin, no other man ever looked your way. Which sucked, because you had liked the attention. And it wasn’t like you were getting any from your husband.

You had just finished setting the table when his Highness came home. Jimin was imposing as he walked in through the door, acting like he owned the place – which he did. He had on a white dress shirt, collar button undone and sleeves rolled up, and specks of suspicious red dotting the otherwise pristine white fabric. He had his suit jacket scrunched up in his hand, and his blonde hair looked tousled, like he’d run his hand through it many times throughout the day.

He looked like he’d come straight home after torturing some poor somebody, but you had to admit he still looked unreal. He always looked handsome.

" Hyung, I don't want to deal with that shit right now. I have a lot to deal with already, just take care of it and I'm not repeating myself. " Jimin was obviously talking to someone while he walked towards you.  It was pretty normal for you now, just some criminal men talking about criminal shit everyday which you found plainly boring.

Once Jimin finished talking, you looked up then only. God, you would stop breathing if he continued to run his hand through his already messy hair. Words caught up in your throat as he quirked an eyebrow.

"Do you want to say something? " Jimin asked as he tossed his jacket on the sofa and wiped his sweat from his forehead.

" You must be hungry, I ordered the food. Have some. " You said as you tried looking somewhere else other than him. You practically cringed because  of your wavering tone.

Jimin threw a glance towards you and then sat on the on the chair.

" I have some people coming over tonight.” He said, surveying the food, the kitchen, the fridge, the floor, and then gracing you with eye contact that lasted about two seconds before it was back on the food again, “You need to be inside your room around 9pm. Get all you need from downstairs before then. Don’t come down here after that, got it?”

He said and he didn't even waited for you to respond, instead picking up his plate and heading down towards the office. His office, where he practically lived. Where he would go disappear whenever he chose to stay at home and you hated the fact that he doesn't give two shits about you.

" Are you Fucking serious.? Huh? " You said as you stood abruptly from your chair making a skeech noice. Jimin stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at you.

What the fuck is his problem? You can't fucking believe him. Is he doing this on purpose? Making you loose your mind? You don't even fucking know at this point.

" What do you think of yourself? Are you my dad? Ordering me shits around. You can't just lock me in my room every fucking time jimin. It's also my fuckin house. " You raised your voice as you walked towards him.

" Watch your tone y/n. You won't like to cross your limits. " Jimin's eyes flashed warningly, his tone authoritative yet somehow still nonchalant. As if he was speaking to one of his subordinates, rather than his own wife. “And I’m serious. Grab your things and go to your room before 9pm.” He said as he continued walking towards the hall, you followed him. You can't muffle your thoughts this time.

" Why, why the fuck do you want me to stay in my room after 9pm . What, is your other whore gonna be around? Is this the reason park? " You asked sarcastically really letting it go with the expletives. God. He made you so angry – marching into the house, not even thanking you for the food – it was takeout, but still he should have thanked you- and then ordering you to go to your room like you were five fucking years old.

" Don't you dare talk like that to me love.” Jimin eyed you annoyingly because you could say that you were crossing your limits, and as if on cue, his phone began buzzing in his pocket. It was probably some cranky drug lord on the other end, since those were the type of people you knew he worked with on a regular basis. " I don't have time for this drama of yours right now but I'll talk to you later about this. " He ran his hand through his hair for the 6-7 time annoyingly before turning his heels back.

He twisted the knob of his office door and said, " Don't make me repeat myself y/n. Go to your room before 9pm or else you'll regret it. " And with that he disappeared in his office.

Fuck him. You thought, stewing and swearing as you stomped your way up the stairs. Tears stinging your eyes as you marched towards your room. Out of sheer irritation and spite, you took out your phone out and quickly bought one necklace and anklet of Cartier along with 3 heels from Manolo Blahnik, rapidly typing out Jimin's card information before you could change your mind. The notification from his bank would probably piss him off, but it wouldn’t really make a dent on his bank balance. No. This wasn’t enough. You wanted to push him even further.

It seemed like the only time Jimin spoke more than two words to you was when he was ordering you or angry at you. Well. You could give him something to get angry over. You could give him plenty to get angry over. No more playing at caring little housewife. It was time to get creative.

-

taglist : @sweetwolfcupcake @silversparkles11 @janvibutbetter @strawberryjimin13 @manchuria @bangtanbts-fics @crazy-eight17 @juju-227592 @joonyoongi @sumzysworld

_

it’s finally here🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

tentacledipity | four

➛pairing: jimin x reader

➛genre: alien au, space au, soulmate au, wanted au, smut (coming)

➛rating: sfw

➛words: 8.1k

➛warnings: none! well, a sprinkle of grinding and tentacle mentions but other than that *shrugs*

➛notes: finished this in the early hours of the morning so please dont mind any spelling or grammar mistakes if there are any pls & thank u!! also thank u for being so patient, uni isn’t kicking my ass per se but it’s definitely taking up a lot of my time these days! i hope u all like the next does of tentacle adventures!

ps; I will add links at a later date! pls enjoy & lmk what u think!

This tale starts, as any good fiction does, with a girl crash landing on a foreign planet. And, like any good fiction, it follows a theme of serendipitous happening, and tentacles. Behold, serendipity and tentacles— or dare we call it…. tentacledipity.

— posted; 23.04.2019 // ↞ prev. || four || next ↠

“What, you’re not even going to try and stop me?”

At your question, the two males shared an exasperated look.

“Well, no,” Jongin answered plainly, pointing an accusatory finger your way as he narrowed his eyes halfheartedly. “What is the point? You are just going to get away, anyway.”

Your incredulous gaze was drawn to Jongdae next, as he continued where his partner left off. He seemed entirely too pleased with himself, lips curled in a smug, kittenish grin and his expression sly, marks coloured light yellow. “Besides, we are no longer required to watch you. We have been relieved of our duties. Which, personally, I am more than glad for. I think I have aged more than ten sweeps from the stress alone of trying to keep track of you. Really, are all humans so slippery?”

“No, probably not. Just me.” You shrugged in answer, before his earlier words caught your attention and you gaped. “Wait—what do you mean ‘relieved of your duties’? I’m free?”

Jongin shrugged, stretching indolently across the cushioned swing that you’d found him and Jongdae reclining on, out on a patio near your rooms, when you’d attempted to sneak out of the wing. Now that you thought about it, they did have a particularly carefree air right now, something you weren’t really expecting considering how wired you’ve seen them some days.  Jongdae swung one leg over the other, completely lax. The action left you in a state of shock, almost.

You continued to sputter for a moment, your brain unable to comprehend the sudden change in the status quo. Sure, this whole time you’d protested the fact that they thought you needed babysitting—ignoring the fact that it was thanks to an incident that came about thanks to you being a dumbass. But, if you weren’t under ‘watch’ anymore… who were you going to have fun evading and escaping? This was the highlight of your days sometimes, what were you going to do now that you couldn’t do it anymore? This felt like a big disruption to the routine you’d established here.

“Do not know, do not care,” Jongdae smiled at you. “We have not been told what will be happening.”

“Wh-what so I’m just, I’m just supposed to sneak around and pretend there are people trying to catch me?” you burst, feeling a little indignant. They should have consulted you first! This was unfair. “Who am I supposed to torment when I’m bored? Who am I supposed to trick with sweets and flee while they’re distracted?!”

Jongin lurched forward, eyes wide. “So you ADMIT that you did that to trick us!”

“No!” you wailed, mournfully. You turned away, dramatic as they likely expected you to be. “They were friend gifts… but I guess they mean nothing now. I’m… I’m leaving. I’m ending my friendship with you two. I’ll…I’ll find some other guard friends— better guard friends— who will chase me as long as I want them to!”

You stomped your foot, fighting a smile at the sound of their barely restrained snorts. You give them a half-hearted glare over your shoulder before turning and yelling, “Don’t look for me! You won’t find me!”

The second you started to walk away they could no longer hold their laughter and the sound of it makes you grin as you retreat down the hall, not bothering to try and sneak as you had earlier now that you knew no one was there to catch you. It was oddly liberating, to be honest, and you didn’t quite know what to do with the freedom. Maybe that’s because even when they were ‘watching’ you, you weren’t exactly restricted. Really, it was a wonder Jimin made them try for so long when it clearly had little to no effect.

Keep reading

Good Boy

Good Boy by @btssmutgalore (13/?)

When a college trip gets too boring, you decide to play a game with a guy who has a crush on you.

Oh, What A World｜Masterlist

series summary ↣ all jimin wanted was to get his career back. but thanks to his bosses, he’s tasting wedding cakes instead of training for a comeback. with you by his side though, he might be enjoying it more than he had anticipated.

pairing ↣ f. lawyer!reader x solo artist!jimin 

genre ↣ fake marriage au, fallen idol au｜fluff, angst, smut

word count ↣ 140k+

warnings ↣ a little bit of fuckboy!jimin (though he’s actually really sweet), mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms, brief mentions of drug use, alcohol consumption, unrequited feelings, mentions of insecurity, unprotected sex, marking/possessive sex, reader is described as being shorter than jimin, member x member side pairing (check chapter warnings for more details!)

beta readers ↣ @yoongsgguktae and @hobi-gif ♡

notes ↣ the premise is a little angsty but i swear it’s also meant to be fluffy! the title of this series is inspired by the kacey musgraves song, check it out! banner credits: 1, 2. updated 16/5/2021.

#1 Make It Right  #2 Advice #3 uhgood #4 About A Girl #5 How To Draw #6 Suck It and See #7 Not A Bad Thing #8 Between the Raindrops (m) #9 Greek Tragedy #10 Ivy #11 Hardest To Love #12 Wake Up Alone #13 No Pressure #14 Call It What You Want #15 There You Are (m) Epilogue

+ bonus content + mini sequel

one time thing; 05 | pjm

⏤𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜; What are you going to do when your best friend asks you to have a sex with her boyfriend?

⏤𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: strong language

⏤𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 4k

⏤𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

𝚖.𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 / 𝚔𝚘-𝚏𝚒

© 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 (𝒏𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅)

Jimin is precious and an actual sweetheart.

You’ve noticed it for the past few weeks, even though you never wanted to in the first place. You’ve discovered a new side of Jimin. Not the sexy Jimin, who could make any girl swoon over him, which you’ve known from the beginning. But the silly Jimin who sometimes teased and acted like a child, laughing right after.

He’s cheerful most of the time, trying to cheer anyone who feels down and be there for them. Like that time, when Mina failed on her psychology test and cried on your shoulder, while Jimin assured her everything will be fine. He came back with a chocolate bar and single rose the next day.

But most of the time, he doesn’t show how he really feels or what he’s been going through. Like that time, when you’ve seen him struggling in the practice room you randomly passed by. The image is engraved in your mind to this day. He was there alone, sitting on the floor covering his face with his hands. At first, you weren’t sure if it’s really him since he changed his hair color back to his usual sandy blonde. But then you’ve noticed oversized sweater hugging his torso, the one you complimented him when Mina said she isn’t sure about it. You were debating about going in but then you’ve noticed not to, even when he stood up and threw frustratedly his black cap on the floor. You were once remembered that this is none of your business.

Keep reading

burn my soul | 02

-> Pairing. Jimin x reader

-> Genre. idol!jimin, aspiring singer!reader, strangers to lovers au, hurt/comfort, implied mention of mental health disorders (yes, Jimin is sad but he gets happier I promise), sadness sadness sadness, Jimin is really burned out :((, mentions obsessive thoughts, kinda depressed characters, breaking down (a lot of that), once again namjoon always finds the right words when someone feels down

-> Summary. after hurting his shoulder during their last concert, Jimin takes time to recover but things go downhill for him when he can't seem to find any reason to smile...

-> Word count. 3.5k

-> wooh finally!! I'm super happy to be done with this chapter, it took me so much time to get myself to finish to write it because I really struggled with the last part. It was really hard to write about "depression" without romanticising the whole thing, but I tried to make everything as accurate as possible based off a lot of reading and my own experience with burnout and other things as such to make it seem more real,,, let's just say that this won't be the happiest chapter you'll read in this series

-> the playlist

-> previous // next

[The morning after the concert]

Waking up is never easy. It rips you out of your dream world and throws you back into reality.

As Jimin opens his eyes, all of his pain comes back and hits him like a truck. In all honesty, he feels and looks miserable. His throat is burning, his shoulder throbbing… it seems like he just came back from the dead, looking completely washed-out.

The others can't help but notice how bad and ill their friend looks. Jungkook immediately calls a doctor.

His diagnosis was clear, Jimin needed at least three weeks of rest in order to allow his shoulder to heal. Thankfully, after the tour they just did, the group got a little break to recharge and rest

However, he wanted anything but rest right now. His thoughts were getting the best of him and not doing anything would certainly not help the situation.

And so, whenever he was awake, he kept busying his mind with work and other activities. If a nurse wasn’t taking care of his shoulder, Jimin would bury his nose in a book, write new lyrics, compose a backing track or even try to practice a new choreography to the best of his abilities. By doing so many things related to his work, Jimin started to hope that he will never have to be unhappy about it again; that he would love his life once again.

Maybe he was pushing it a little bit…

Anything to keep his train of thought quiet.

The funny thing with life is that it never goes as planned.

Nothing you can imagine or want will arrive the way you hoped it would.

Just like you cannot prepare yourself to fall, nobody imagined that Jimin's condition would start getting worse.

We are not talking about his shoulder here. This would be too easy. To be honest, it healed pretty well throughout their small vacation. He still needed some rest because his moves were stiff but the pain was almost completely gone.

But maybe… maybe the shoulder was the trigger.

Jimin’s mental health was declining. Whatever was going inside his head has obviously been eating him up and anything he tried to make the situation better didn’t help. Especially considering the fact that the group started promoting their new single as soon as the break ended.

Great. Amazing.

After all, that’s what his life is about and, just like everyone says, it’s just a bad phase and it will go away. As a singer and performer, he has to show only the good in his life.

Smiles and glitters, sparkles, and laughter.

However, if his smile and perfect behaviour could fool the cameras, it certainly can’t mistake his best friends.

While Jimin was trying his best to conceal his pain and act fine in front of everyone, they all could notice something was wrong. Their ball of laughter and warmth was deteriorating, losing its colours day by day and there was nothing they could do to help.

The only times Jimin seemed happy were in front of cameras during promotions. It was all fake though, they all knew it.

“So, tell us, what is this latest song you released about ?”

The interviewers ask the same questions every time. It’s getting repetitive but that's part of the job… Jimin wonders how Namjoon never gets tired of telling the same answers over and over again.

“Well, we decided to call this new song ‘Dream’. I would say it is dedicated to both the fans and our group members. It’s kind of a story made into a song. On one side, it thanks everyone who helped us reach our dreams and go higher than we ever expected and, on the other… well.. we are wondering what our dreams are now. What we want to do and aspire to become… we grew a lot in the past few years and now we are starting to ask ourselves what is next. What we wanna become and the things we’d like to do. Also, it is meant to encourage everyone who has a dream to pursue it. The situation might seem hopeless right now but, look at where we are now? We used to think we were a lost cause but kept working and now we accomplished much more we could’ve ever dreamed of.

I hope our fans can understand the meaning of this song and use it as a motivation to follow their dreams as well.”

“That sounds really amazing and inspiring !! I would ask you more questions but I think everyone wants to hear you sing now. I’ll see you all after your performance!”

The interviewer smiles.

“For sure!” Namjoon bows lightly and the lights go off. Jimin’s smile falters

The performance was recorded beforehand so everyone just waited for it to air on the public’s tv before moving on with the interview.

You could hear most people quietly chatting while the music played in the background.

Dream was a calm and comforting song. Jimin really liked it. It made him feel somewhat peaceful for the time of one song. He hopes everyone could feel the same while listening to it. A bit of healing in this harsh world.

While the other members talk amongst themselves or watch the performance onscreen (or do both), Taehyung bends down to reach Jimin’s ear. “Hey, you okay?” He murmurs. Jimin only nods to answer and offers him a sweet smile. He tries to question further but the makeup artists arrive and start doing some touch-ups on everyone’s face before the show starts again.

Eventually, the song comes to an end and the lights go back. Everyone in the studio quietens and the cameras start rolling once again.

“What a lovely performance you gave us !” The interviewer says. They all smile and thank her.

Yoongi grabs a microphone and speaks up “ I- um, I would also like to say that Jimin helped in producing this song. We worked on it while we were on tour and he gave us a lot of good ideas that we added to the song”

Jimin turns to Yoongi, trying to not look too surprised. Everyone is looking at him. Marvelous. He reluctantly grabs his microphone a bit tighter, preparing himself to answer any questions that are coming. His smile becomes wider and he straightens himself on the chair.

“ Oh really? I trust it’s not the first time he is helping you write a song, right?”

- Yes, I’ve already helped a few times with some lyrics in the past. Nothing much honestly… Rm, Suga and J-hope do the biggest work here… I’m very thankful they let me be part of this song.”

- We hope to see you composing songs again soon. Maybe even release your own songs…”

The interviewer smiles. Of course she would say this. Everyone is wondering when is Jimin going to release a mixtape. A few days ago, Jungkook went live and briefly talked about how Jimin had been working hard on writing songs and composing. Almost instantly, his name was trending on every platform and people started to wonder if he would release an album anytime soon. It’s a hot topic nowadays. However, Jimin doesn’t really want to be the talk of the show. He needs more rest. He just wants peace. His mouth goes dry and another member saves him from the embarrassing silence that’s about to come.

“Jimin actively started songwriting during our break and he’s very talented.” J-hope says “I hope we will get to hear more of his work”

“Yes, he often comes to see me when he needs help to fix some lyrics. He’s really talented” Namjoon adds. That last comment makes Jimin smile.

The host seems pleased with what she just heard and moves forward with the interview.

“Jimin, I think you should start considering dropping an album or a song anytime soon. In the next two months it’d be great” Sejin, one of the group's managers, says.

A few days after the interview, he called Jimin, Namjoon and some of the production team members for a meeting.

Jimin sighs. He knows that the manager isn’t actually asking for his opinion and is just telling him what he has to do. The room goes silent.

“I know you haven’t been doing well these days but I think it would be good for you and the group if you released something. Remember when you uploaded Promise everyone talked about it”

Good for me or good for my public image?

“ You should give it a try Jimin. Last time I told you songwriting could help you come at peace with some unspoken feeling… maybe it’ll work again this time” Namjoon reassured him

Talking about releasing new songs and promoting when his mind is wandering around dark places isn't ideal. He doesn’t want to release a bad song because his feelings are drowned in sadness. What if he does something wrong and gets hated for that? Maybe he should stop singing. Maybe he’s not that talented after all. He shakes his head and drinks some of the water he brought with him. His mouth ran dry.

“I don’t know… I’m not feeling it. I could send you what I’ve worked on so far and you tell me what you think. Would that be okay ?” Jimin proposes something that would satisfy everything and allow him to get over with this meeting as soon as possible.

Sejin nodded. “I’ll be looking forward to that. Be sure to stay in touch with the producing and composing teams. I’m sure you will do something amazing. Jimin. You can go now. Thank you all for coming today.”

Everyone bows and makes their way to the door except for Namjoon and Sejin who are still at the table.

“ Would you mind going without me ? I need to talk to about manager before leaving.” Namjoon asks Jimin and the latter nods before leaving the room.

The night is particularly cold for the early fall. The cold air brushing against Jimin’s cheeks as he wanders is somehow soothing. His warm tears slowly turn clod as they roll down his cheeks.

Jimin hugs his jacket a bit more tightly around him. He didn’t think it would be this cold outside when he decided to go for a walk earlier tonight but he didn’t want his friends to see him cry like that either. They looked worried enough about him already, no need for them to witness this.

With the back of his hand, Jimin wipes the wetness off of his face then buries both hands in his pockets and sighs.

It’s not the first time Jimin comes here. Whenever he needs to be alone, really alone, this is where he is.

Truth to be told, the garden of The Hill looks really gorgeous. Even more during the night, when the only thing you can hear is the sound of the water fountain.

It’s a great place to escape his hectic life. To run away from his responsibilities. Run away…

Jimin just walks around the place, thinking. He has been thinking so much lately, too much. He looks at the flower while doing so, details their perfect petals and immaculate colors. They all fall in place together, make sense.

Unlike him.

As he looks at the flower, he notices a bed of lily flowers, his favourites. There are white and pink ones mixed but there’s one of them that particularly stars out to him. Amongst all those perfect-looking flowers, you could one withering, slowly turning grey (or maybe brown, it’s a bit too dark right now to tell its exact color).

The sight makes him stop in his step. Slowly he approaches the flowers and crouches to take a good look at it.

How is it possible that this flower is withering when everything around is so full of life?

The poor flower looks out of place

Lately, Jimin feels out of place too

It’s like things were happening without him being able to do anything. He just looks at the world going. It’s sad. He doesn’t feel like himself. He’s been feeling… different.

He looks again at the flower and approaches his hand but stops himself last minute before touching it, scared to break the plant. He stands up and massages his shoulder. Another tear falls from his eye.

Is this the life he really wanted to live? Everyone knowing you, wanting you, looking at you, stalking you… constantly having to watch over your shoulder to see if no crazy fan was following you. Is that really the type of life he dreamed of when he was 15?

Probably not. But he’s here now. He’s gotta do it.

Or maybe not.

Maybe the group can go on without him.

Maybe, maybe… they would be fine without me, they can go on. I’m not making that much of a difference these days. I just-

Jimin sighs. Is he even making sense right now ?

He starts to ask himself why he started crying in the first place.

Jimin remembers being at Hybe’s studio until late trying to record a sample for the song he wrote over the week. Nothing worked his way and one of the company’s workers who noticed how upset he looked told him to call it a day and go home. Tears started to fall during the car ride. “Been in the field for years and I’m not even able to record something properly” he thought at that moment. He’s grateful the driver gave him his space, only handing him a small pack of tissues when they arrived.

Not wanting the others to see him in that state, he decided to go for a walk around the complex.

The Hill was well enough guarded for Jimin not to worry about a crazy fan jumping on him. He really didn’t need that right now. Running away from fans is definitely not what he dreamed of/for when he was younger.

There’s a bench a few steps away from him and Jimin walks to sit on it, resting his shoulders on his thighs. What he knew would happen then happened ; tears spill from his eyes and run in rivulets down his face, Jimin's breath getting heavier as he tried to control his emotions.

Why, why was he so sad all of a sudden?

When did he start to feel so much pain ?

When did it all go wrong?

Why was he so… flawed? imperfect? so sad?

Obsessive thoughts start to fill his head, painting his mind just like the tears are covering his cheeks.

Maybe… maybe I should just. Drop out. Stop. If I had a calmer life, it’d probably be so much better Jimin thinks but, as soon as he pictures himself as something else than a singer, his sadness only grows bigger.

What would I be? I spent my whole life performing, it’s the only thing I could do. And I’m terrible at it already. Why am I failing so bad at life….? I don't understand. There’s just, no point, in continuing this. I don't know why I keep trying honestly…

Jimin shakes his head before lifting it to take a look at the whole garden around him. No one is here. You don’t hear anything ; it’s so calm, so peaceful. It almost becomes pressuring because everything is so quiet here while Jimin is such a mess.

Putting his hands in his pocket, Jimin finds the pack of tissues the driver gave him earlier. He takes one from it and wipes his cheeks before blowing his nose. Again, he sighs. The little energy he had left went into flames with this big little crying session.

Suddenly, Jimin's phone vibrates into his jeans' back pocket. Weird. He was sure that he turned the do not disturb mode on.

The screen shows a call from Namjoon that goes unanswered because Jimin was too late to reply. From the lock screen’s notifications, Jimin can see that he missed several calls from Hoseok and Namjoon and he received a few texts from them asking where he was. The last one, sent only a minute ago, says :

PM 11:03 | Yoongi : “Hobi and Namjoon are going out to look for you. Please reply.”

“Jimin!!”

It’s Hoseok

Jimin turns around and sees his friend walking towards him

“I knew I’d find you here. Thank god. We were so worried” He places a hand on his shoulder (the uninjured one) “are you okay? Come on let’s go home. It’s so cold out here my gosh!”

On the way back, Hoseok calls the others to reassure them.

“Hey, can I come in?” Namjoon asks as he stands in the doorframe of Jimin’s room. He doesn’t wait for his friend’s//an answer to invite himself in.

Jimin is laying on his bed, earphones plugged in, staring at the wall. The sad music playing in his ears probably covered Namjoon’s voice when he spoke because Jimin is startled when he sits next to him on the bed.

“Oh. Joon. I didn’t hear you come in”

With a quick movement of his arm, Jimin cleans the already dried tears on his cheeks and removes his earphones. His eyes are still red though, a detail Namjoon does not fail to notice. He straightens up to properly face his friend.

“So,,, is there something you wanna talk about ?” Jimin checks his phone “Oh my- it’s already 3:00 AM, why are you still up? Is everything okay??”

Namjoon sighs “I could ask you the exact same question Jimin….”

A heavy silence sets itself in the room

“J-Joon, have you ever felt like a disappointment ? That you should give up on everything? You know, as if you were a failure. A- a failed attempt…

-Jimin I-

-I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I can’t sing like I used to, I can’t think straight, I struggle to sleep… Namjoon I feel like I’m going insane and it’s like no one can help me…

Jimin’s voice breaks at the end of his sentence. At that exact moment, Namjoon feels utterly powerless. He doesn’t know what to do. Never has he imagined Jimin, his Jimin, this sweet boy, could be feeling so much pain. No one in the group noticed, at least not before it was too late. Jimin covers his face as tears run down his cheeks again. Namjoon reaches out and puts an arm around his shoulder. The youngest nests his face in his shoulder and breaks down. Namjoon holds back his tears with a deep breath. He pats his friend’s back.

“Jimin. I- I’m sorry I didn’t realise sooner how great your pain was. We all are. I feel bad because I failed to notice this in the past few months. I saw you drifting away from us slowly but I thought it was just post-concert tiredness, I’m sorry I denied your pain. As the leader, I should’ve been more observant. I- You know, I always doubt my ability to comfort you guys because I feel like my words never carry the meaning I want to give them but I shall try tonight. It will seem like the worst comforting thing to say but it will get better, okay ? You know, when you come to think about it, you already made it through a dark time, more than once! Jimin it will get be okay. Eventually, someday. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a week. Maybe it will take more time than you expect before you really feel good again but you will get there okay? Time may seem desperate now and the place you’re in may seem very dark right now but it will be okay. I’m here for you. We all are.”

Namjoon never thought it would be this hard to comfort his friend, not when said person is completely falling apart right before your eyes. He exhales deeply, mustering the last of his strength to not break down too

“I was talking with the others earlier and we think you need a break. We all agreed it will be good for you. I already called Sejin and he seems okay with the idea. It will only do you good to stay out of the spotlights for a while. If- if that's what you want. For as long as you need.”

Jimin’s sobs slowly quiet and he quits his friend’s comforting embrace.

“Please keep in mind that you’re not disappointing anyone Jimin. We’re all so proud of how far you’ve come, even if you feel stuck or lost right now. Now please go wash your face and get some sleep, we can talk about all of this tomorrow when you wake up, our schedule is clear”

As Namjoon exits the room, a barely audible thank you can be heard.

placebo (m) | pjm (3)

pairing: jimin x reader (ft. jungkook & namjoon)

premise: you're assigned a soulmate backed by the science of compatibility that hopes to promote healthier, long-lasting, loving relationships. you find yours: park jimin is the exact opposite of you. a member of a notorious resistance gang, he doesn't believe in science, love, or the state.

summary: you find out that jimin isn't your true soulmate. he was a placebo - a series of control trials to see if simply thinking someone is your soulmate would be enough to make you fall in love. the issue is, you did. you did fall in love. hard.

genre: 18+ romance, smut, angst, soulmate!au, dystopian, love triangle, romeo-juliet, opposites attract, hurt-comfort

characters: student!reader, vigilante!jimin, student!jungkook, scientist!namjoon

warnings: 18+, contains smut, angsty smut, rough penetrative sex, creampie, cock warming, breast play, a lot of kissing. like a lot. emotional sex, oral sex (m), fingering, praise kink, jimin is a pro at snapping that bra off, a lot of stimulation, a lot of foreplay, aftercare, they're in love okay it's cheesy, feelings of fear, hurt, government conspiracy, medical procedure, memory loss, cursing

taglist: @tornparts @loona15 @effielumiere @agustdream8 @jnghs @dragons-flare @xiusmarshmallow @ratherbefangirling @infires-imagines @aretha170 @dvalitaes @kookiejeonie @ddaeng-angmoh @idk123906 @cuteipat @uarmyhore @natalie-rdr @yawnkive @sukunabitch @withluvjm @thesmeraldogirl @theceraunophilegirl

wc: 7k | series masterlist | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Jimin—

“We’re not actually soulmates.”

Disappointment couldn’t even begin to explain what Jimin was feeling as he saw your eyes shatter in front of him. His heart was already beating wildly with a sense of pounding worry—all from your tears. He wasn’t the kind of guy who expressed himself. He was a pawn. A soldier, of sorts. He took action.

Right now, he was paralyzed. Every drop of blood drained from him in one rush of cold. He was left with nothing. Not even your touch held enough comfort to warm the life back into him. His breath even, mocking him with a charade of calmness.

You continued to explain. He heard you—he swore he did, but everything seemed to numb him from comprehending.

“It was a placebo, where the chip signals but we aren’t actually compatible. So the basis for everything we felt—or everything we think we feel, was a lie. Jungkook found out and,”

Jimin blinked. Looking at you. You were still there. You were still real. Your eyes swollen with tears. Hearing your words hurt, but seeing you like this hurt even more. He needed to be strong for you—you were falling apart in front of him, and he was too stubborn to let you.

He wasn’t going to let you go.

Because he didn’t care. He didn’t care—in fact, a rush seemed to pulse into him, beckoning him onwards—the fact that you might have been some government-implanted craving he had was the only reason he was trying to stay away from you initially. You fought for him. And fuck, he loved you. It was too soon to say it. Hell—probably too soon to feel it but he didn’t have a doubt in his mind.

Last night, as he fell asleep in your arms, all he could wish for was to have that every day for the rest of his life. He had never felt so strongly bound to another person. Never felt so seen, so cherished.

This wasn’t about some microchip in your necks. To him, it never had been. You cared for him when he was hurt. You were a fucking nerd, obsessed with your geeky job in a way that enamored him. You worked so hard, were so fiercely determined and dedicated to your cause. You were messy, clumsy, a stickler for rules where Jimin liked to bend them, break them, or ignore them altogether.

He loved the person you were, unfiltered—he loved the person you wanted to become, and most of all he loved the way you loved him. Your heart on your sleeve. Calling out his bullshit. And always being exactly what he needed even if he didn’t know it himself.

And he knew all of this. So why did he feel so fucking terrified?

Jimin swallowed deeply. His hand leaving your face as you searched him for a reaction through glassy eyes.

“Tell me what this means to you, doctor” His words were hushed. His fingers gliding over your wrists before circling them into his hold. His lips hovered over yours, foreheads resting against one another.

Jimin wasn’t an idiot. He knew exactly what it meant to you. But he needed to hear you say it. He knew how hard you had fought for him. He had tried so hard to push you away, but you persisted because you believed in the Soulmate Initiative so strongly. That had been the catalyst. For you—it had been the condition of your love.

“Jimin” You exhaled. The regret in your voice carved into his heart.

“You know that never mattered to me” His grip on your wrists tightened, as if his touch would make you understand. It was all he could do to not scream—not begin to pathetically beg you not to care. Not to change anything—not to leave him.

He could see you scrambling for words. “There’s still a chance—” You attempted to reason. Because that’s who you were. Hard facts and logic. Your voice choked—Jimin couldn’t look at you a second longer. It was too fucking painful. Too painful to sit there and watch as you gave up on him.

He needed to leave. Get far away from you and think. Because right now he felt so helpless, so powerless—he didn’t trust himself not to say something he’d ultimately regret.

His eyes were red, wet with anger. A façade to cover the shattering in his chest.

“I have to get to class, doctor” His voice was serene. His gaze, tumultuous.

“Jimin please,” You tried to pull him back as he stood up. He yanked his hand away from you, rougher than he meant to, but enough for you to get the hint. “I’m so sorry”

He took a few steps towards the door. Turning back, he looked at you one last time. Your tear-stained cheeks. Your quivering lips.

“I’m not sorry” He swallowed thickly. Pulling on his leather jacket and grabbing his helmet, he tucked in under his arm. “I will never be sorry for falling for you, doctor”

“There might—” Jimin held up his palm.

“I’ll come back” His eyes softened as if to ease your anxiety, “We can talk about this later”

He was out of the door in seconds, unable to look you in the eye again. The fresh, cold air hit him like salvation from the tension. He gasped, breathing the sharp air in as his tears unleashed.

Sinking to the floor, he buried his head between his knees. His fingers gripping his hair in frustration as he sobbed quietly. He jerked his head back, hitting the door as he punched the ground next to him. Cursing loudly as he crumbled.

You—

Jimin would be back any second. You’d never felt quite so nervous. So anxious—not even when you opened your decision letter for your PhD program—not ever. He’d be back. Be home. And you two would have to face the impending doom you’d introduced to him.

More than anything, you felt guilty. Guilty that you were responsible for what he was going through right now. After trying so hard to convince him that he even deserved love, let alone from you—to gain his trust and then put him into this grey space of uncertainty. It wasn’t lost on you how unfair it was.

The mere thought of living your life like you had before Jimin—was pointless. He had awoken something within you. As frustrating as he was, as much of a tease and a flirt—he made every day feel like an adventure. He brought you to life in a way nothing else quite did.

But if your real soulmate was out there, you couldn’t help but wonder. Was it all fake attraction? Was what you could find with someone you were truly compatible with even better than this? More magical? More right?

You had to know.

And you knew Jimin wouldn’t see it that way. But even if you chose to ignore it—to let it go, it would drive a wedge between the two of you inevitably. Jimin’s flaws seemed to glare at you in a way that they hadn’t before. Everything impossible about your relationship seemed to weigh on you because you didn’t have the blind faith in the system anymore. You didn’t have the promise that this is how it was supposed to be.

The ring of your doorbell sent your heart into somersaults. You buzzed him, nervously tugging at your sleeves. You wanted to look pretty for him—unsure if that was cruel of you, but you couldn’t help but think that these were a collection of your final moments together.

He walked inside. Tired eyes, raven hair wispy from the wind. The cold tinting his cheek and nose. His black motorcycle jacket hugged his figure. The familiar scent of cigarettes and gasoline which you had come to associate with comfort. A scent that once made you nauseous.

Slugging his backpack off, he set it aside. Neatly, he unlaced his boots before stepping inside. He regarded you with a soft smile. His deep brown eyes were simultaneously relieved and broken.

“Hey you”

You approached him slowly, immediately wrapping your arms around his torso. You inhaled him. His unadulterated bliss. He was cold, but so warm. And when his arms wrapped around you, cradling your head to the crook of his neck, leaning into you—you wanted to simply melt.

You looked up. His pretty eyes—the way he looked at you—God. His touch flushed you over with heat as his palm reached your cheek, thumb caressing over your jaw, teasing your bottom lip.

You didn’t know what to say to him. It seemed, you didn’t need to say anything. Jimin sighed into you, his lips relaxing against yours. So soft. So tender. Incredibly sweet.

And you wouldn’t stop him. Maybe it was avoidance. The impending melancholy of the night you were about to have. The inevitable heartache. You deepened the kiss, pulling Jimin closer to you desperately.

He grinned against your lips as you did. Hands falling to your hips before cupping the backs of your thighs. He lifted you up, still kissing you with the same delicateness. Taking you to the couch where he sat you both down.

Falling to his back, you crawled on top of him. Lips not parting. Breaths getting heavier.

Because when you kissed, nothing else mattered. Nothing else even existed. There was only him. Him and the storm of pleasure brewing in your chest. The heat coursing through your veins. The dizziness spinning in your head.

His fingers curled over your hip as he flipped you down. Hovering over you now, he admired you. Eyes memorizing your every crevice. His chain fell from his neck, the cool metal making you shiver as it glided across your hot skin.

He peeled off his jacket, leaving only his tight white t-shirt, before returning to you. Body caging yours in. Forearms resting on either side of your face as his fingers traced your cheeks.

“I don’t tell you enough” He murmured. You raised your eyebrows, curious. “You’re so fucking beautiful, doctor. So pretty,” His eyes were half-lidded, kissing you chastely, “Sexy..gorgeous..mine” He smacked against your lips between each word—sending a rush of praise to your head.

And you loved it. You loved his words like they were feathers tickling against you. His voice was silk and you wanted to dance in it for eternity.

The pressure of his body felt incredible against yours, his heat like a blanket. You’d never felt so safe—so cherished in his hold.

“Where the hell did you even come from, doctor?” He hummed playfully against your lips, “How the hell find me? You’re a fever. You’re my disease and my cure”

You tugged at his chain, urging him to kiss you harder. To glue his lips to yours.

He groaned, hips rolling flush against yours as his mouth worked you into serenity. You could feel how badly he needed you, but he was taking his time. On the other hand, you were frantic. Your fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt. Tugging it up his torso as he chuckled. You could feel his scalding skin on your fingertips. Exploring the expanse of him. The contours of his body, the soft skin.

His teeth tugged at your lip, nipping at you playfully as you scratched your nails against his chest. He finally allowed you to pull this shirt over his head, giving you a moment to admire him, chain contrasting against his golden skin before you tugged off your own top.

You were left in sheer light green bra. Delicate. Something you had bought as a joke a long time ago, wondering if it would actually make you feel more confident. Jimin’s pupils darkened.

“Let me” He exhaled shakily. You turned over, on your knees as Jimin held you up—one hand on your neck pulling you back to him. His fingers gripped your jaw as he kissed your cheek, smirking against you as his other hand expertly snapped your bra off. So fast that it sent shivers down your spine. He replaced where the latch once was pressing into your back with his own lips, kissing up your spine until melting at your nape.

You arched your back as the bra slid down your arms, onto the floor. Jimin’s coarse fingers immediately covering your breasts. Pinching your nipple between his fingers sensually. Trailing butterfly kisses up your neck. You twitched under his touch. Small, needy gasps leaving your parted lips.

He hummed with pleasure, tasting you across your jaw, chest pressed against your back.

“So good to me,” He kissed your cheek. The blisters on his fingers against the soft skin of your breasts making his touch so incredibly erotic, it had you weeping in your core. His touches so subtle, and yet you were reacting to him so desperately. Craving him, overwhelmed by how fucking good it felt when he touched you.

“Please” You weren’t even sure what you were asking for. He chuckled softly, teeth grazing against your ear. “Jimin p-please”

“I love that. I love it when you ask me so nicely like that” He pushed you down on all fours. You let out a surprised gasp at his sudden roughness, but your cunt tightened. He pulled off your jeans, and then his own. Leaving your panties on he grabbed a handful of your ass and squeezed it.

“So fucking perfect,” His large hands moved all over the flesh of your thighs. He let two fingers tease along your damp slit. “What’s this huh? Wet for me already baby?”

His fingers pushed the cloth aside, finding your tender clit. You bit back a moan as he began to trace small, slow circles. He leaned down on you, the feeling of skin on skin riling you up even further. His lips caressed the back of your shoulders with hums of approval as his fingers continued to coax you. His other hand holding your hip steady. Pinching your ass tenderly.

“Jimin” You gasped breathlessly, fingers gripping the couch tight. His fingers continued to push you further and further towards nirvana. He pulled you up suddenly, fingers still on your clit—but he needed to see you. Needed to look into your eyes as you came. Hand wrapped around your neck, enough to feel his control but not enough to choke you.

“You gonna cum for me doctor?” Jimin teased, forcing your jaw towards him. A grin on his lips mirrored the mischievous glint in his eyes. You nodded pathetically.

“Yeah?” His tone raised, taunting you further as he smashed his lips back on yours. Tongue pushing through your lips as his fingers circled your clit faster. Your moans were swallowed by him—body going limp as waves of pleasure crashed down on you. Your body bucking forward, taking Jimin down with you. Twitching all over as your cunt leaked onto his hand. His rough, desperate kisses muffling your screams.

“That’s it baby, so good for me” His fingers led you through the aftershocks before dipping into your sensitive cunt. “So good and wet all for me, right?”

He pulled himself off of you, and you turned, on your knees—reaching for his cock.

“I want to suck your cock”

Jimin blinked at you incredulously.

But you were determined. You began to stroke him gently. He hissed, reaching behind you to steady himself against the back of the couch.

“You’re so desperate for me, aren’t you baby?” He leaned down to kiss you cheek. You looked up at him, eyes earnest—because you wanted him to feel so good.

You wanted to make up for all the pain you knew you were about to cause him. He deserved everything—heaven and the stars and everything beyond, you wanted him to have it all. For now, you let your lips kiss the flushed tip of his cock.

“F-fuck,” He reached for your chin, stroking your jaw tenderly. “You’re so good to me baby fuck”

“I,” You diverted your eyes with shame as heat crawled over your cheeks. “Tell me what to do”

Jimin gulped, eyes shifting as he understood your words.

“Open wide” He pushed two fingers against your lips until your mouth opened enough for him to slide them inside. “No teeth okay baby—and then just take it in as far—” He pushed his fingers down your throat. You tried your best not to gag, until finally you couldn’t help it. He pulled his fingers out, a string of saliva following. “As you can”

His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, tugging on it playfully as he cooed at you. It was the eagerness in your eyes. The fierce determination he knew you were feeling to please him.

“You’re so” He chuckled softly, “God I—” He choked on his words.

Now was hardly the time.

You beamed at him, taking his cock into your mouth little by little. His head tilted back as he cursed to himself.

You loved seeing him like this—amazed that you could make him feel like this. Motivated by his response, you began to slowly bob your head. He exhaled verbally, letting out a loud groan.

“Just like that baby, fuck—good girl” His voice was pained as if he was losing his resolve and it only fueled you to move faster. He tugged your hair, giving you a warning stare. “If you do that I’m gonna cum baby. Slow down”

You gave him a mischievous look, deciding to disobey.

“Y/n” His voice was low, demanding. He recognized you were teasing him, and as much as he wanted to fuck you—he couldn’t bring himself to stop you. His thumb swiped at the drool from the edge of your lips. A shock rippled through his body as he reached for your shoulder to keep him steady.

“Fuck. Fuck. Baby I’m—” His hips bucked, cock twitching inside your mouth as you felt his warm cum on your tongue. You let him go, swallowing his cum—and before you could even process it, he lifted you up, forcing your legs around his waist and carried you to your bedroom.

He laid you down on the covers gently, kissing the inside of your thighs, all the way up your stomach, where he showed you a little extra love, up to your breasts—he nibbled on them playfully, loving the way you’d twitch for him. His eyes stayed glued to yours. Dark and needy.

“I’m gonna need a little bit” Jimin confessed after deciding your breasts had been abused enough by his mouth. For now. He let his fingers continue to toy with them as he hovered over you. “But we should talk, hm?”

You inhaled sharply.

“Y-yeah we should”

Jimin grinned, taking a peak back into his mouth, this time letting his tongue run rampant on the plushness.

“Jimin” You hissed, grabbing his hair.

“You taste so good baby, I can’t help it” He kept on kissing your chest. Rolling onto his side, he pulled you into his embrace. Your naked bodies intertwined as his hands roamed all over you. You cradled his head against you, fingers running through his silky black hair.

You whimpered, hopelessly aroused by his actions. Your pussy pulsing, wishing so badly to be stuffed.

“I need you” You nudged him. “I need you so bad”

Jimin grinned, pulling away from you. He kissed you softly.

Then his eyes grew serious.

“Y/n” His tone had changed. He wasn’t teasing anymore. “If I asked you to just let it go,”

“You know I can’t” You responded. Jimin looked away. His fingers still tracing your sides.

“Yeah” He said after some time, kissing your cheek, “I know”

You gulped, cupping his face in your hands. “Can I just say that, right now, in this moment, based on every experience I’ve had in my life up to this point—I love you?”

Jimin scoffed, but he couldn’t hide the smile in his eyes.

“I just need to know”

“If there’s someone else, you mean.” Jimin gave you a pointed look. “What happens then, doctor?”

“If someone else is my soulmate, that also means someone else is yours. I can’t keep you from that”

“I know I don’t want that” Jimin gripped your hips possessively, pulling you impossibly closer. “I don’t care. I love you”

A tear rolled down your cheek. The hurt that you so blissfully ignored moments before, returning.

“I’ll meet Dr. Kim Namjoon at the conference in a few days. He can check for us, and then”

“You already know though, don’t you?” Jimin challenged. “You think we aren’t compatible”

You paused. “Well I—”

“Go ahead, doctor” Jimin smiled, a hint of despair in his gaze, “Go meet your soulmate. No one in this universe will love you the way I do, I am sure of it. So sure that I’ll take the chance of losing you forever if it means you’ll believe me one day”

He began to get emotional. You ached for him. Ached for the pain he felt in his chest. The pain you didn’t want him to feel.

Your hand rested on his chest. Feeling the beat of his heart against the tense silence.

He kissed you again. Desperately. His fingers tugging your panties aside as his now hard cock slid against your folds.

You kissed him back—even more desperately. Savoring whatever you had left with him. Losing yourself in him as though time were running out. Spreading your thighs to grant him entrance, he fucked into effortlessly. Filling you up until you felt so right—so whole. He stilled, nose tracing yours as he gazed into your eyes.

Tears threatened the edges of his pretty brown eyes.

“I don’t trust them Y/n” He whispered, the tear unleashing, “What if they brainwash you—what if seeing your soulmate resets your brain chip and—” He gasped, lip trembling.

“I won’t forget you, Jimin” You assured him with a comforting hand stroking his back.

“You don’t know that” Jimin gulped.

The true fear in his eyes hit you like a reality check. Reminding you that this man had no trust in the system, and you were asking him to take a gamble on it.

“Maybe you’re not supposed to know about the Placebo. Maybe they’ll do something to you, and me—and you’ll be in danger and I won’t know”

You kissed him sweetly. “Baby” You mumbled, knowing you’d never called him that— “Don’t think like that”

“I mean the fact that we fell in love, without the compatibility assessment, means the whole system is bullshit—doesn’t it? They could pick any two people and condition them to love one another with the chip. That’s not something they’d be okay with people knowing”

“N-not necessarily” You sighed. “Baby—move” You urged him, as if he forgot his cock was nestled deep inside of you. He hadn’t.

He gave you a tight thrust. Your lips parted, and he did it again, watching your expression intently. He held you close—you held him close. He buried his face into your neck, pushing you onto your back so he could fuck you deeper. His hips slammed against yours, deep, quick thrusts that you could feel throughout every inch of your body.

“You’re heaven” Jimin gasped, kissing your cheek again, “I don’t think you fucking understand what I feel for you, doctor—I swear I”

“I do, Jimin” You assured him, “I feel it” He began fucking you faster. “And I love you”

He stilled so he could kiss you again. “Say it again” He begged, “Please. Say it, mean it, please”

“I love you” You stared into his starry eyes. His fingers intertwined with yours, pushing your arms above your head as he resumed his ruthless pace. His lips pasting against yours in between your confession, “I love you Jimin—I do—So much”

He burst inside you, but he couldn’t stop. The moment was too charged, too emotionally ripe. He kept himself sheathed inside of you, cum stuffed deep. Hugging you close, he kissed you—a man addicted, and you were his vice.

You fell asleep, at some point.

You heard him whisper against your eyelids—I won’t give up, at some point.

You woke up, at some point.

He was gone.

You—

You arrived at the conference. You hadn’t heard from Jimin since that night—but preparation kept you distracted. This was a huge moment for your career—and you’d worked too hard to fall short now.

Jungkook was by your side, dressed in a light grey suit—the conference badge contrasting the plain white button-down shirt that gripped his chiseled chest. Around you were folks of similar adornment—chatting with their colleagues, setting up posters and grabbing coffee.  

“Good—you made it” Your boss, Jung Hoseok, who you loathed approached the both of you. “Is everything set up for my talk later?”

You exchanged an irritated look with Jungkook, who bit back a smile. “Yes, sir”

Dr. Jung hummed, pleased with your response. “Very well. Go network. This conference has the best of the best. Y/n, I know you were interested in meeting Dr. Kim, would you like me to make an introduction?”

You stiffened. Dr. Kim Namjoon. He was the most brilliant biochemist of your time. He single-handedly piloted the Soulmate initiative with the help of his neuro-engineering team. He developed the compatibility algorithm that you spent your whole life studying. Appreciating.

He was infamous. And it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous too—you had all of his books, memoirs, magazine articles. It was safe to say you knew quite a bit about the man. And soon he’d be right in front of you. In the flesh.

“If you don’t mind” You held back your excitement, but your hand trembled, gripping onto the pamphlet that a volunteer had forced into your hold earlier. Dr. Jung nodded, motioning for you to follow him.

“I’ll come too, if that’s okay” Jungkook quipped. You made a face, but knew you had no right to take this opportunity from him either, as much as you preferred to meet him alone to discuss your dilemma.

Up the elevator, Dr. Jung led the both of you to the top floor of the hotel in which the conference was taking place. From the clear glass, you could see the city sprawled out—serene, snow beginning to melt off of the ground. More folks were out and about. Children playing in the now cleared-up parks. Spring was coming, soon.

You stepped out of the elevator, and were met with a series of guards lining the hallway. It made sense; you mused. Kim Namjoon was a high-ranked State scientist. Which meant he was a prime target for a Resistance kidnapping or attack.

Your lips wavered. A part of you was disappointed at the lack of hope you had that you’d find out you and Jimin were compatible. Your gut knew you weren’t. But you loved him, so it could be. It could be him, right?

Why did you love him, if you weren’t compatible? It was so easy to think of all the reasons—so simple in your mind, but hard to find the words. You trusted him with your life. He was attractive, kind, in a bad situation but had big dreams. Dreams to make change, and you admired that.

As you walked past the guards, Jungkook’s hand brushed against yours. You looked his way and he winked at you excitedly. “You ready?”

He whispered against your neck. Too close—maybe it hadn’t been before, but now it felt too close. Nevertheless, you smiled back at him and nodded.

It occurred to you that Jungkook might be your real soulmate.

“Namjoon!” Dr. Jung opened the double doors to the suite. You took the room in. Hardly a room—there was a whole lab set up in there. Humming with the soft whirr of state-of-the-art machinery, bright white lights everywhere. Translucent monitors display complex molecular structures and neural pathways. Simulations.

The middle of the room had a holographic interface projected a three-dimensional model of a chip. The chip. Tiny filaments extended from the chip, resembling delicate neurons connecting to an unseen network.

Your heart skipped a beat. This was paradise.

There was not a drop of chemicals in this lab. Everything was tech-based, simulation and modeling predicting chemical interactions, hormonal regulation, neural response and bodily action.

“Hey Hobi” You heard a low, smooth voice. Your clenched your fingers into your palm. Taking a deep breath, you turned the corner where Dr. Kim was sitting.

God.

He sat casually on a stool set up by a plain workstation. He was dressed in a black turtleneck, black trousers—his black hair gelled up. You’d neve seen him without a white-coat on, as that’s how he tended to appear in media pictures. Here, in front of you now, he was relaxed. He was just a person. He was a man.

His dimpled smile made your throat tighten. A smile that reached his eyes with such a genuine glimmer. He greeted Dr. Jung with a suave fistbump, exchanging some words with him before chuckling lightly, patting him on the back and swiveling his chair towards you and Jungkook.

His smile widened.

“Hey there” He nodded his head politely. Both you and Jungkook bowed slightly. “So you’re the poor kids who got looped into helping this motherfucker” Your eyes widened at his comment, but Dr. Jung simply rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah—I’ll see you downstairs. Drinks tonight? The usual?” Dr. Jung pointed at him for confirmation as he reached the door. Namjoon nodded.

“Of course Hobi, I’ll see you later” He redirected his full attention to the both of you, shutting the computer in front of him. “Please, take a seat” He motioned behind him and a small robot pushed two stools over to where you were standing.

“I’m Y/n L/n” You extended your hand to him.

“Ah yes, I’ve heard about you. You study my work, huh?” He winked, making your face rush with heat. His eyes passed over to Jungkook. “And you?”

“Jeon Jungkook, honored to be here, sir”

“Good. Good, so tell me about yourselves”

“Actually” You exhaled. “Dr. Kim, if you don’t mind—there’s a matter I’d like to discuss with you”

He raised his eyebrows. Folding his arms over his strong chest in a way that made you aware that this man worked out, he leaned back. “Oh, sure. Let’s hear it then”

You were about to speak when Jungkook interrupted.

“Y/n’s soulmate was a placebo. We’d like to run the compatibility test to find out who her real soulmate is”

Your mouth felt dry. Namjoon’s eyes flashed with interest, gaze remaining steady on you.

“How’d you figure it out?”

You looked at Jungkook.

“I uh, hacked some data” Jungkook confessed, shyly.

Namjoon let out a soft laugh.

“Well alright. As you know, any scientific RCT trial needs a control group. We use these placebos to understand the actual effect of the Soulmate algorithm’s deployment on the outcomes of interest. Procreation, individual health and wellness, etc.”

He was speaking to you. Directly to you, even though Jungkook was right by your side.

“The way the chip works is that you see someone who surpasses your compatibility threshold. There isn’t one soulmate. I suppose there could be, but we have to factor in proximity and chance for encounter. That’s why the microchip will only give the Soulmate signal once you meet someone who has also passed the cognitive-sexual threshold who surpasses your compatibility level. Another threshold, unique to each person and defined by many metrics”

It was nothing you didn’t know. Jungkook on the other hand, was fascinated.

“Wait so, both and Y/n and I were past out cognitive-sexual threshold and we saw each other all the time before she met…her placebo. I didn’t meet her compatibility threshold?”

Namjoon seemed to bit back a giggle. “Well, Jungkook? Is it? Right, it goes both ways. She didn’t meet yours either” His eyes flashed at you. You couldn’t help but notice that they were honey-brown, almost gleaming gold in the light.

Jungkook seemed to recede into himself.

“Is there a way I can check my compatibility with my placebo soulmate?” You asked, tugging at your sleeves.

“Well, I suppose” Namjoon took a second to think, “If you know where they are right now, and get to them without looking too many people in the eye” He chuckled.

Right, you mused.

“Because if you reset my chip, and I see someone else, it’ll register they’re my soulmate before I can even look Jimin in the eye” You mumbled.

“Exactly. We can do that, if you’d like. But no law says you must be romantically involved with your soulmate. Either way, your choice is still your own”

You gulped. You just had to know.

“Please, if it’s alright, can you reset my chip?” The words felt like acid leaving your mouth. Namjoon shrugged nonchalantly.

“Sure thing. Jungkook—this is a medical procedure, technically. We will need some privacy”

“Oh, right” Jungkook scrambled to his feet, rushing out the door rather quickly. Namjoon reached for a tablet set near the window and tapped a few buttons. Some robots arrived, removing the table and stools and setting up a medical bed in it’s place.

“Do you not like your placebo soulmate?” Namjoon asked, while the robots were at work.

“Actually I like him a lot.” You confessed. “But I believe so strongly in the benefits of your algorithm. So I just need to know for sure”

Namjoon squinted at you, but nodded.

“Do most placebos work out?” You blurted, covering your stomach with your crossed arms. “Is there a statistically significant difference between outcomes with truly compatible soulmates and placebo ones?”

A grin tugged at Namjoon’s lips. The robots finished setting up the medical equipment and he motioned for you to lie down.

“What do you think, Y/n?” Namjoon mused as he connected a few wires to the back of your neck. “Do you think placebos would work out the same way? Is believing someone is your true love enough to make you love them?”

You gulped. His fingers brushed against your nape as he plugged in your chip. 

Until it hit you.

“It doesn’t matter” The thoughts came to you as the words left your mouth, “It isn’t even about love. Compatibility. Or health.” Your eyes quivered as you noticed Namjoon’s grin widening.

“I-It’s about your faith in the State” You drawled, “If you believe in the State—in the Soulmate Initiative, then it’ll work. And if you don’t—”

You sat upright suddenly, feeling uneasy. Jimin’s fears echoing in the back of your mind.

“Don’t worry—you did fall in love. You clearly believe, so you have nothing to worry about.” Namjoon admired you for a moment. “You’re very smart, Miss. Y/n. It’s a shame it took us until now to meet”

Namjoon proceeded to tap a few more things on his tablet.

“Now before we do this, you should know. There is a small chance the reset will cause both you and your placebo soulmate to forget that you’ve seen each other. Not to worry, though, I can make sure that you head his way after the procedure to see if you two are compatible”

You gripped the edges of the seat with your trembling fingers.

“But don’t worry, you’ll be unharmed”

Forgetting Jimin—that’s harm. That’s fucking harm. Your mind was screaming warning.

“Wait actually I don’t—”

“Relax,” Namjoon placed a hand gently on your shoulder, pushing you back to your chair. “I’m here. I’ll tell you to go find this fella and look him straight in the eye before anyone else. You can trust me”

Strangely enough, you believed him.

“Okay”

“What’s his name?”

You hesitated. Drawing attention to Jimin’s citizen file wasn’t a smart idea given what you knew about him.

“P-park Jimin”

“Good. Now close your eyes. This might give you a brief migraine”

Jimin—

It had been pathetic. Jimin showed up at the steps of Jin’s home—the home he shared with a few other members of the resistance. It was late—he could hear the debauchery happening inside loud and clear. The familiar stench of tobacco and liquor radiated from the dim light behind the shuttered windows.

He inhaled sharply. He spent the whole day wandering. Trying to drown himself in schoolwork until even that seemed pointless. He needed a distraction. Something to ease the pain. Until he figured out how the hell he would get you back. He needed anything.

He sat down on the splintered porch steps, ignoring the fleet of giggles from what he assumed were sex workers. Staring at his palms, he recalled the sensation of your touch. His fingers curled into his palm, wishing your hand was there but instead grasping at the crisp late winter air.

“Well look here,” Jin’s familiar voice boomed from the entryway. Jimin looked back to see him, a flimsy tank top under his leather jacket which was being pulled off by a beautiful, voluptuous woman. “Ay, fuck off whore—that’s my little brother and oh,” Jin pouted, shoving the woman off of him, “He looks so sad” Jin leaned down to tug Jimin’s cheeks in a way he always used to do when Jimin was younger.

“Why you sad baby boy?” The woman cooed, “If you’d like, I can make it all better”

Jimin rolled his eyes, “No, thank you.” Redirecting his attention to Jin who slid down to sit by his side, a bottle of beer in his hand— “God, doesn’t it ever get a bit old hyung?”

Jin scoffed, “I’ve had about enough of you sitting on your high horse and judging us, Jimin. You are one of us. We’re at war. Well—” He took a sip, “We will be, soon enough, and we need you. Your brother was—”

Jimin hissed. Jin took the hint, luckily.

“Look,” His tone grew serious, “We had one of our mole’s hack into the microchip database. We were right. The kind of data they collect and the way they use it to strategically puppet aspects of our society—it’s robbing free will. Altering memories. Manipulating thought through exposure and environment. And because there’s not specific legislature that oppresses people, they play it off as the way the world works. No. They built these structures, Jimin-ah. We have proof.”

Jimin gazed up at the obscured night sky. Clouds veiled any semblance of starlight, mirroring the shadow over his thoughts.

“She isn’t even really my soulmate” Jimin chuckled bitterly. “It was a fucking placebo”

Jin stared at him for a moment, before his eyes softened with pity. “Fuck Jimin,” He handed him the bottle. Jimin took it, sipping the sour & bitter liquid. “You really like the bitch, huh?”

“Hyung” Jimin snapped. Jin simply chuckled.

“My bad, my bad. The scientist. Whatever the fuck her name is. Listen. If you want to know if your feelings are genuine or not, you need to take out your microchip. It’s the only way you’d know for sure. The fact that there is a placebo cohort for something like this is kinda fucked up. Whatever happened to ethics?” Jin scoffed. Jimin took another swig of the beer.

Should he? Should he take it out? The microchip was the physical embodiment of the state's reach into his very soul.

Jin could sense that Jimin was considering his idea.

“Honestly, it’s about damn time you did Jimin. Things are getting serious around here. We’re going to start taking real action, advocating for our cause. We want you in—we’ve always known you’re a smart kid. Good with words and all that. Hell, you’re not meant for the battlefield Jimin. You’re meant for a throne”

Jimin set the bottle down, again looking up to the skies. “I don’t want a throne. I just want to not be a fucking puppet anymore. For them, or for you guys”

“Then take what’s yours. This is what your brother wanted, Jimin. Be more involved. Take charge. Your girl didn’t give up on you—the state fucking manipulated her to give up on you. They took everything from you—it’s damn time you see that. It’s damn time you fight for what you deserve”

Fight. He was going to fight for you. He had promised you that. Promised himself that.

He reached for the back of his neck.

“Fuck the State” He mumbled, “I want this out. Let’s go”

Jin grinned ear to ear, “Fuck yeah!” He patted Jimin on the ack excitedly. “We’ve got a bot that can do it in the back, come on”

You—

“Y/n?” The soft call echoed in the sterile room. Your eyes, weighed down by the fog of unconsciousness, fluttered open. The harsh fluorescent lights above you forced a squint. A lingering scent of antiseptic filled the air, accompanied by the gentle hum of machines.

Behind you, a subtle tug and disconnect confirmed the unplugging of your chip from the machine. The cool room air kissed your skin, sending a shiver of unease through you.

“Good, your vitals are all normal. You’re doing great,” Namjoon's voice reassured. Turning, you saw his back as he typed notes on his laptop.

It came back to you: where you were. Who you were. Everything seemed to click. Your heart seemed to hurt. You couldn’t understand why.

“Do you remember Park Jimin?” Namjoon asked. You blinked in his direction.

“Who?” Your response was automatic, a clouded memory of someone fading into obscurity. The emptiness inside of you seemed to pulse.

Namjoon continued typing, his focus on the screen. “There’s a man,” he hummed, “I need you to go directly to him and look him in the eye to see if he is your soulmate or not. His file suggests he may be at the University Law Library. Try to minimize eye contact with strangers as you head there.” Namjoon turned back around.

You looked at him.

In those honey eyes. Those sweet, smiling, kind eyes.

A sharp pain in your neck burned.

They say you’ll just know.

­come scream in my asks! thanks for reading you hotties~ lmk what you think &lt;3

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Chapter 1: So High [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses.

A/N: I swear I spent like a month researching to make sure everything is as accurate as possible, but if you’re more experienced in this topic and see some inaccuracies don’t hesitate to let me know. Also, if you are under 18: do. not. read. I am watching you younglings.

<< masterlist || next chapter >>

Just one step at a time Y/N, you're almost there.

You groaned inwardly as you continued to drag your feet along the concrete sidewalk, every bone in your body weighing you down like a heavy truck. Your muscles screamed at you to turn around and burrow back into your bed and even your mind was having trouble focusing. Overall, nothing but pure willpower was pushing you through the empty park, but you had to keep moving if you wanted these feelings to stop. 

So you pushed on. 

Ironically, the atmosphere was a perfect reflection of your mood. Despite how early it was in the morning, there was no prospect of the usual sunlight. Instead, grey clouds and an oddly comfortable hum caused by rainy drizzle surrounded you as you continued. It only made your muscles more languid and you almost caught yourself falling asleep mid-step several times. 

Thankfully, after what felt like hours, your gaze caught onto a lone figure on the other side of the park, rocking against one of the swings quietly. Besides him, the area was largely deserted, probably because of how early it was in the morning. Soon it would be filled with students and parents rushing to their schools and jobs. 

You'd be one of them, but for now, you had more pressing matters to attend to. 

"Yoongi," you greeted idly once you walked up to him. 

Yoongi, who had been staring at the sand below him, looked up at you with a scowl. His black hair was pulled into a half bun while it looked like he had gotten his hair trimmed. Today, he was dressed in an expensive looking black rain jacket that stopped at his knees paired with black combat boots. His silver cross earring seemed unusually dull in the rainy weather. 

"It's Suga when we're doing business," he corrected, pushing himself off the swing while eyeing the security cameras wearily. They weren't working at the moment, due to some renovations or something like that, so you didn't really understand the paranoia. 

You tilted your head lazily at his statement, "it's always business with us."

"Exactly," he frowned, shaking his head in regret, "if it wasn't for- well, you know- you wouldn't have even figured out my actual name, which is already annoying. So no need to rub it in."

"Nope, I worked too hard to get that name just to never use it," you smirked, trying to keep your voice light, but on the inside you were itching to grab what you came for, "so... do you have it?"

Yoongi's hand disappeared into his jacket's pocket and returned with a small white bottle just barely the size of your thumb. Why was it so small?

"What the hell is that?"

Despite your words, it took everything in you not to snatch up the bottle like some savage, but your pleasantries only went so far. The second the bottle was in your hand you didn't bother waiting for him to leave before you opened it and downed three pills on the spot. 

He frowned in response, "I'm low on stock right now."

It was always so typical of him to have such short and concise responses, and although you hated it, it was pretty helpful for when you were going through withdrawals. It was easier for your foggy mind to understand short sentences rather than a bunch of details. But you were going to need the details in this case. Yoongi hadn't been low on stock in a long time, which means something must have happened.  

At your expression Yoongi sighed. 

"Look, I think someone tipped the police off about me so I'm laying low for a while. In fact, the only reason I'm even doing business with you right now is because you're my least problematic client, which I appreciate... and also because I know withdrawal can be a real pain."

You hummed in response, barely paying attention. The pills you just took weren't going to kick in for another 10-20 minutes, so most of what Yoongi was saying was flying through one ear and out the other. 

"Anyways," he sighed, likely noticing your current state, "I'll get the payment after I get the cops off my back."

He hesitated before his next words but ultimately mumbled, "take care of yourself."

You lazily watched as he made his way into a flashy red car and drove off before you realised you should probably get going as well. 

-

-

-

By the time you reached your school, you felt your focus sharpen as the Adderall you had taken earlier finally started kicking in. The black jacket you had been wearing, to hide your uniform from Yoongi of course, was hanging against your arm as you made your way into the school towards your classroom. 

Since you were a little early, the class wasn't entirely full just yet. Students were still milling around, laughing and chatting about things you couldn't care less about. It wasn't until you sat down in your seat when you noticed that your best, and only, friend was already in the classroom. 

Kim Namjoon, with his dark brown hair and dimpled cheeks, gave you a stern look as he noticed your presence. 

"You didn't answer my call yesterday," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly. 

That made you snort, "when do I ever answer your calls for school related stuff?"

"Because you're too busy crashing from all the drugs you take throughout the day?"

It was his tone more than his words that made you turn towards him with a frown. Namjoon has always bothered you about your... recreational activities, that's no surprise. But there was something about the rare harshness in his voice this time that had you taken aback.  

"I'm fine Namjoon, chill out."

But Namjoon seemed unusually persistent today and only his next words gave some insight as to why, "you know there was a death in my apartment yesterday? A guy overdosed on a ton of cocaine and died, Y/N, because he was doing the exact same thing you do."

You shifted uncomfortably to mask your uneasiness.

"I don't do coke," you joked, but Namjoon's face didn't waver. 

"So? Whether it’s Adderall or meth, the result is still the same,” he pressed further, "you know he was completely alone when it happened? And when his family came to the funeral, they barely even cared. Most of them said they hadn't seen him in years."

You scoffed, "Well, I definitely won't have that problem."

His expression softened, "there are people that still care about you, Y/N, but if you continue on the path you're on right now, I can't guarantee that. I don't want you to be like him. I don't want you to end up alone with nothing but a drug addiction."

You could hear the fear in his voice at that last sentence. 

"I don't have an addiction, Namjoon, relax," you said as you heard the bell ring. All around you, students rushed to their seats in preparation for the class, "I could stop if I wanted to, you're just being paranoid."

He seemed disappointed at your response, even a little angry.

"You're high right now aren't you?" He whispered. 

“When am I not?"

"That's not funny, Y/N."

"It's a little funny."

Namjoon's hand grabbed your arm in frustration as his voice lowered, "this isn't a joke, Y/N. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'll have to do things you're not going to like."

You scoffed at the threat, "like what? Tell everyone about it? How would you even convince them? I'm a straight A student that's respectful to all the teachers. Who would even believe you?"

"A simple drug test can change all that," he snapped back. 

Your eyebrow raised, "so you'd report me to the police?"

Namjoon's frustrated face morphed into shame as he looked away quickly. The two of you had been friends ever since you and your father moved here when you were 7 years old. He was practically your brother at this point. When he found out about your using around a year ago, he had been furious, but every time he tried, he just couldn't report you. Maybe it was because he didn't want you to have a criminal record, or maybe it was because he didn't want to hurt you, either way he's been ashamed about the lack of action ever since. 

Namjoon watched the teacher walk into the class with a mixture of guilt and anguish. 

"I should... If I really cared about you I would've reported you the first time I found out. Maybe it wouldn't have become so bad if I did..."

You quietly watched as the students started getting out their textbooks and homework. Namjoon's words, despite not being anything new, should've moved you. You should've felt a need to change, or to do better. 

But you didn't feel any of that. Even hearing about that man, that might even be foreshadowing to your future, didn't instill any fear into your heart. In fact, the prospect of that being your future didn't shake you. 

Honestly, you felt nothing at all. 

-

-

-

The sound of the bell ending first period had never felt more relieving as you finally felt Namjoon’s gaze, which had been drilling into the side of your head the entire time, shift. Thankfully, he wasn’t in your second period class so you’d finally get a break from his constant worry. 

That allowed you to make your way to your second classroom quietly before settling down in your usual seat that was near the back of the class. You were even going to quietly rest your head on your desk for a moment, but the sound of three girls shuffling towards you made you realise that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. 

It was always comical how fast she approached you the second Namjoon was out of the picture.

"Y/N!" 

You groaned, preparing yourself for what you knew was going to be one of the worst five minutes of your life.

Kim Jiwoo smirked as she peered down at you, two girls, whose names you didn't even know, at her side. Today she had tied her long brown hair into a half ponytail, letting her side bangs frame her face. Most would call her pretty, but you knew better than to flatter a snake. 

"Did you sleep in a barn last night?" She laughed, tugging at a strand of your hair, "it looks like a rat’s nest."

The two at her side laughed as she gasped.

"Wait, who am I kidding," she continued, " your father couldn't afford a barn. Where then? The side of a highway?"

Another round of her friends' laughs filled the room annoyingly. 

"Don't you have anywhere else to be insecure, Jiwoo?" You grumbled tiredly. 

She simply scoffed, "what do I have to be insecure about? Your face is all the self-love I need. Everyday I wake up and am thankful my parents didn't give birth to one like yours."

That made you smile, "speaking of parents, how is your parents' divorce going? I heard your dad was found sleeping with the maid after church, again. Personally I think you take after him the most."

The two girls' eyes widened in surprise as they side-eyed a seething Jiwoo. At this point, the whole class had gone quiet, listening intently to the two of you. 

For a moment, a very dumb moment, you thought she'd leave it at that and make an embarrassing exit. 

But you were never a very lucky one, were you?

"My parents' divorce is going great, thanks for asking," she said suddenly, a snake-like grin on her face, "I'm just glad both of them are still alive."

You tensed as you felt her close the space between the two of you, "how are your parents, Y/N?"

As unaffected as you were trying to appear, it took a lot of self-control not to throw a chair at her face. 

But Jiwoo wasn't done just yet. 

"Oh my!" She gasped, hands flying to her lips, "I completely forgot! You don't have both of your parents, do you?"

You could feel her breath as she chuckled, but the smile dropped from her face as she came closer, "What's wrong, Y/N? Mother couldn't survive a little chemo?"

Distantly you heard some students gasp, while others laughed. It didn't matter, because none of them could stop you when you brought up your fist and slammed it into her face. 

Anyone that says violence will never be fulfilling is a liar. Watching Jiwoo crumple to the ground was all the therapy you needed. 

Unfortunately, that only made her laugh more. 

"You know, if you kill yourself, maybe you can meet mommy in hell," she laughed, wiping the small trickle of blood from her mouth. 

You just scoffed, hiding the second wave of anger by sitting back in your seat, "and see you there too? No thanks."

As Jiwoo stood, the door of the classroom opened, causing everyone's head to snap towards it. The girls swooned as Mr. Kim walked in with light steps. His gaze first fell on Jiwoo, who was standing over you, and then your seated form.  

"Is there a problem here?"

No one answered, either too afraid for reprimand or too immersed in checking him out. Mr. Kim Seokjin was the youngest teacher in the school, not to mention the most attractive according to the female students. Forget the girls, you were pretty sure you've even caught some of the guys talking about how hot he is. 

When no one answered he raised an eyebrow. It was clear he knew something had happened here, something that shouldn't have happened. But after a moment, he must have decided to let it go because he turned around and started writing on the board. 

"Please go back to your seats everyone and turn to page 237."

You watched as everyone scrambled to their desks, except for Jiwoo of course, who gave you a condescending smile first. That was the one thing you could respect about her, she knew how to take a punch without being a whiny baby about it. The two of you had been at each other's throats for as long as you could remember. The rivalry between you was always so excessively vicious because you were cousins, meaning you knew a lot more about each other's familial secrets compared to the other students. In fact, now that you think about it, you probably exposed her parents' divorce to the class. But you'll take it as payback for yesterday, when she tripped you in the hallways and almost broke your head against one of the lockers. 

Mr. Kim continued to speak about the lesson, which you were completely focused on thanks to the pills you had taken this morning. 

Well, that was until you heard distracting whispers behind you. 

"Who's that?" A male voice whispered, seemingly to someone beside him. 

Another voice answered in the same manner, "oh yeah, you just transferred from class A, right? You don't know about the drama here. Those two have been at each other's throats since forever."

The first voice chuckled, "I don't care about that. Who is she?"

"Um," the second voice paused, as if confused, "you mean her? That's Kim Y/N... why? What's up?"

"She's got a hot back," the first voice said. 

You scowled as you turned around to face the voices, "this 'hot back' can hear you, you know."

You were met with two guys sitting next to each other. The first had permed dirty blonde hair, a boxy grin and intimidating eyes. You already knew him to be Taehyung. Although you'd never really held a full conversation with him, you knew he'd been in your class for a while. 

But the one sitting next to him wasn't as familiar, though you knew you've seen him in the halls before. His hair was a bright orange that oddly suited him, while his cheeks were soft yet structured. 

He was attractive, there was no denying it. But there was also no denying that he was the one commenting on your 'hot back' too, which you did not appreciate.

"Oh I know," he replied coolly, "is admiration suddenly a crime?"

"Go admire someone else's back, thanks," you said, turning back to the lesson being taught. 

But the whispers only continued. 

"Such a pretty face too," the orange haired guy said, and you could almost see him smirking. 

You saw exactly that when you turned around once again, but this time towards Taehyung, "could you put your friend on a leash?"

Taehyung, who actually seemed confused, just shrugged. 

"I'm Park Jimin," the orange haired guy announced, "what's your name, kitten?"

It took everything in you not to cringe at the nickname and instead turn back towards the front of the class, "not interested."

As you watched Mr. Kim turn towards the board to write something down, the sound of a pencil falling to the ground followed. You were sure Jimin threw one at you to get your attention, like some middle schooler might you add, but you were determined to ignore him, keeping your focus on the board. You could hear the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, a slight chuckle and even light footsteps. 

But a moment later you felt your back start to warm up. At first you thought maybe the classroom's heating had turned up, but then you swivelled around to come face to face with Park Jimin. His chest was so close to your back, all he had to do was move just an inch forward and he'd be pressed against it. 

With Mr. Kim still writing something on the board, Jimin went completely unnoticed aside from one or two curious students. 

But that didn't deter him at all. 

"There's going to be a party tonight at Taehyung's place," Jimin whispered, his lips close to your ear, "you should come. I'm sure you'll have a good time."

Just as his head lifted away from yours, Mr. Kim turned around. 

"Jimin, what are you doing out of your seat?" He asked, crossing his arms. 

Jimin raised a pencil in response, and with a start, you realised it was your pencil that had been sitting on your desk a few seconds earlier, "sorry, I just dropped my pencil."

Mr. Kim nodded and went back to teaching the lesson while you heard Jimin take his seat once again, still feeling the ghost of his lips near your ear. 

-

-

-

For the record, it wasn't Park Jimin that had you driving to Taehyung's house at 10 PM on a Friday night. You had known about the party before he had 'invited' you and had already been planning to go. Of course, most students were attending for some partying.

And although partying sounded good, you had other intentions in mind. 

Your car rolled to a stop a few blocks away from Taehyung's house before you got out and started walking along the dark sidewalk. You could already hear the music and sounds of chatter from your current position, but you doubt anyone in the neighbourhood would complain about it. Taehyung's parents were the definition of rich, and messing with people like that was never a very smart option. The best they could do was pop in some ear plugs and wait the party out. 

"Y/N?!" A familiar voice behind you called out. 

Speaking of ear plugs...

You tried to fasten your pace, but Jiwoo was already in step beside you. There seemed to be no sign of the girls from earlier this time. 

"Where are your goons?"

Her reply was quick. 

"Where's your sobriety?"

You rolled your eyes, continuing to walk in silence. To your distaste, she didn't leave after that. 

"Thanks a lot for advertising the divorce. You know how hard it was to keep something like that on the down low?" She scoffed, actually looking quite annoyed. 

You raised an eyebrow, "you're really going to act like that after the chemo comment?"

"You started it. Don't act like some victim now."

It was your turn to scoff now, "you started it like 5 years ago."

"It was 7 years actually."

"Aww, do you have a calendar you use to mark our fights too? I'm straight, before you get any ideas."

"Oh screw off, Y/N."

Thankfully, there was a beat of silence after that. You cursed yourself for parking so far away from the house, but it was usually useful for when the police were called and they started impounding cars. At this point, you'd rather take the police than Jiwoo's presence. 

After a moment Jiwoo spoke up again, "I saw you with Jimin in second period."

She grinned. 

"A manwhore and a junkie... it's a match made in heaven."

You almost celebrated when Taehyung's house finally came into view. Without even bothering to look in Jiwoo's direction, you scurried into the house, but not before hearing her cackle like some kind of witch. 

You genuinely feel bad for whoever decides to curse their life by marrying her. Maybe she'll do everyone a favour and stay single forever, though you doubt she'd be that gracious. 

Even though it was relatively early for the party, the living room was packed with people. Students you recognized from school were chatting and laughing together while others played games and took shots. You were pretty sure you even caught one or two college kids here and there too. 

As you scanned the room, your eyes were naturally drawn to a head of bright orange hair sitting on one of the couches lazily as a girl sat on his lap with a smile. Jimin looked good, with a simple white t-shirt and ripped jeans. A silver earring, similar to Yoongi's, hung from one of his ears. 

For a second, you thought his eyes caught yours, but you turned away and started walking towards the kitchen before you could confirm. It didn't matter anyway, you weren't here for him. 

The sight of alcohol had you smiling. 

You were here for this.  

You grabbed a cup and filled it with beer from one of the tanks sitting on the counter. There were a few empty bottles of vodka and even wine sprawled around, implying that if you looked hard enough you might be able to snag a bottle. But you weren't very keen on getting too hammered tonight. 

While deep in thought, you didn't notice Jimin slip in front of you until he started talking. 

"Having fun?" He asked, a red plastic cup filled with a clear substance already in his hand. His hair was dishevelled and messy, like someone had run their hands through it many times, and a silver necklace shaped like an upside down spade hung from his neck. 

The necklace forced you to look down at his loose sleeveless white shirt, which did a poor job at hiding his toned figure. The muscles in his arm were flexed as they held the cup, making it hard to focus on the one in your own hand. You turned towards the kitchen's counter, trying to shift your mind to something else. 

But Jimin seemed to notice that, making him smirk.

"Like what you see?" He asked innocently as he slowly made his way towards you. When he finally came to a stop, he was so close you could feel the heat of his chest on your arm while his hand rested on the countertop right in front of you, "you don't have to look away, kitten. I don't mind giving it to you if you want it."

Your sharp gaze met his eyes once again, which were also a lot closer than you had initially thought. With his chest near your arm, his hot breath against your ear and his ruffled hair, you didn't blame yourself when you felt a hesitant shiver run down your spine. 

Park Jimin was a jerk, but god was he a hot jerk.

But was this something you wanted? Although you weren't exactly opposed to the idea, you didn't exactly want it either. It had been a long time since you last had sex, and the thought of doing it again with someone like Jimin, aka someone with a lot of recent experience, was kind of nerve wracking. You'd rather just get high. 

"Believe it or not, I didn't come to this party because of you," you said finally. 

"Oh?" His gaze lingered on your lips before raising back to your eyes, "then why are you here?" 

For the free alcohol, and hopefully free drugs, would've been your honest answer. 

"Why does anyone attend parties? To have some fun of course."

Jimin regarded you for a moment before replying, "there are different types of fun at parties. Which one are you here for?"

You shrugged, "not the type you're interested in."

With that, you filled your cup to the top before walking out of the room, eyes peeled for a dealer. Your talk with Jimin had heightened your desire for some fun, which for you was to feel nothing at all. All you had to do was find a dealer that would be willing to give you a sample. 

Thankfully, with your experience, finding someone was no problem. In less than 10 minutes you had found and flagged down a man that seemed much too old to be at a high school party. You chuckled inwardly at the sudden thought of 'cheating' on Yoongi with another dealer, but Yoongi wasn't always available, especially now that the police were on his back. 

After getting the dealer to trust that you weren't a cop, which was stupid considering your age, he eyed you with a more comfortable stare. 

"Okay, what do you need?" He asked patiently. 

You paused for a moment, thinking it over. You already had gotten some Adderall from Yoongi earlier today, and you were craving something a little stronger. But you were in the mood of something relaxing, not stimulating.  

Then the thought of heroin popped into your mind. You were always careful when it came to opioids since they're insanely addictive, but the last time you had some was a pretty long time ago. You were sure the gap was long enough for it to be safe to take it again. Besides, the feeling it gave was always amazing, like every cell in your body was relaxed and calm. 

You'd like that at the moment, and you told him just that. 

He excused himself for a second, rushing into a room before returning again with a bag of fine white powder. He held it out to you discretely, but not before announcing the price. 

"I want a sample first," you said, but the man shook his head. 

"Sorry, no samples."

That made you scoff, "What? How am I supposed to know if it's good or not? Besides this is heroin I'm talking about, not weed."

"Either give me the money and take it or don't. I don't do samples."

"No thanks, I'll look somewhere else."

You turned and started making your way away from him, feeling a bit irritated, but not very angry. You've never had an issue with finding samples at a party. You just seemed to have picked the wrong guy. 

But soon enough, after dealing with multiple dealers that refused, you huffed in frustration. 

"What is up today with you guys? Why is everyone suddenly so against samples?" You rambled to one of them. He just gave you a tired look. 

"Supply has been low lately. I've heard that the police are closing in on some of our harbour guys- uh, major suppliers, if you don't understand. A lot of them have had to lay low because of it, meaning guys like us aren't getting a lot of supply lately. We can't afford to give out samples right now."

So Yoongi wasn't the only one in a tight spot at the moment. Turns out a lot of dealers are suffering right now. That almost made you groan out loud. 

"So that's a hard no to the sample?" You said, causing the guy to raise an eyebrow. 

"Just pay up, don't be cheap," he said with crossed arms. 

"It's a party. Obviously, I didn't bring any money with me, I've never needed it."

The guy just shook his head and walked away, leaving you alone and needy. 

No samples. No dealers. You couldn't contact Yoongi at the moment either, which meant drugs were now out of the question. So much for having fun. 

You downed your cup of beer, though you knew the most it would do was leave you buzzed. You could always start searching for the vodka you had seen earlier, but your dad was coming back tomorrow and you didn't want to be dealing with a killer hangover when meeting him. 

While your mind did back flips trying to figure out a way to salvage the night, your gaze caught Jimin at the other side of the room. He was laughing with a girl, rarely taking a sip from his cup as he listened to the girl talk about things you couldn't hear. 

You've heard a lot of people say that taking heroin feels like having 1000 orgasms at once. Obviously, there was nothing else that could achieve such a feeling.

But there was definitely something that came close.

As if hearing your thoughts, Jimin's eyes, which had been scanning the room nonchalantly, fell on your figure. When you didn't look away, he tilted his head, almost like he was asking a question. 

Your gaze flickered to the staircase before landing back on him. Hoping he'd get the hint, you started making your way up them, not waiting to see if he was following. 

Asking for sex was one thing you would not grant Park Jimin. If he wanted it, he was going to have to be smart enough to get it. 

After checking in on a few rooms, you finally entered one that wasn't occupied with a moaning mess of bodies. It was luxurious, with a king sized bed wrapped in comfy looking sheets, a fluffy carpet coating most of the floor and a mini chandelier hanging overhead. 

It made you wonder what the hell Taehyung's parents did for a living. 

Before you could ponder any further, the sound of the room’s door opening and then closing quickly pulled you out of your thoughts, which was then followed by the sound of light footsteps treading carefully on the wooden floor. 

When the footsteps softened because of the carpet, you turned around to find Jimin standing barely a foot away from you, his gaze focused on your still form. Now that the prospect of sex was a lot more likely, you let yourself properly enjoy the sight of him. Your eyes first started with his body, taking in the toned muscles that peaked through his white shirt and then his thick thighs that were exposed through his ripped jeans. 

"It looks like you've changed your mind," he said, taking a step closer, causing you to take a step back.

But Jimin simply took another step forward until you could feel the cold wall press into your back. One of his hands leaned against the wall behind your head while the other leaned against the wall beside your stomach, caging you in the process. It forced you to focus on his face now, rather than his body. His orange hair was still dishevelled, framing his face perfectly. Despite the softness of his cheeks, his jawline was sharp, along with his eyes and nose. With how close he was, you could see every dip and pore in his face, yet somehow you couldn't find a single flaw on his skin. 

His eyes scanned your own body and face the same way you had barely a second ago, pupils dilating in desire.

"Can I touch you, kitten?"

Ignoring the nickname, your gaze travelled down to his lips, which looked so soft and plump. You wanted to know how they would feel on your skin, especially on your own lips. 

You nodded slowly before breathing out your answer, "yes."

Jimin wasted no time pulling you closer towards him. He let his hands run down your arms and rest at your waist as his eyes flickered between your lips and neck, as if conflicted as to which one to start with.

As he pulled your waist against him, his lips started on your neck, leaving behind light kisses that gradually became more and more heated. His hand rubbed circles against your hip, in an oddly reassuring manner, while his lips started to lower to your collarbone. 

Your breathing started to intensify as Jimin left open mouthed kisses against your neck and jaw. 

"I was hoping you'd change your mind," he breathed against your neck. A new set of pleasuring shivers travelled down your spine.

"Why's that?"

His hand, which had been resting on your hip, traveled upwards to cup your cheek, "I wasn't joking when I said you had a pretty face."

The hand cupping your cheek suddenly pulled you forward as Jimin connected your lips with his. They were so soft and plump as they moved against yours, causing your stomach to flutter in satisfaction. You never realised just how pleasurable making out was until today.

Jimin’s lips travelled back to your neck as he continued to drop heated kisses against your skin. You could still feel his hand rubbing circles into your hip while the other brushed against your cheek to hold your head steady. 

Feeling a little hazy, your hand disappeared into your pocket to bring out the white bottle Yoongi had given you this morning. As Jimin continued to wreck your neck in the most pleasurable way possible, you opened the bottle behind his back and moved it to down a pill or two. 

But the sound of its opening caused Jimin to look up until he eyed the bottle in your hand. 

"Are those drugs?" He asked suddenly, pulling away from you slightly. 

"No they're just Skittles," you replied sarcastically, moving the bottle towards your lips once again. But before you could pop even one pill, Jimin swiped the bottle out of your hand and chucked it into the trash can across the room. 

"Wh- Hey! What the hell?!" You protested, but he gently pushed you back against the wall.

"No drugs in the bedroom."

Before you could scoff he closed the distance between the two of you once again, letting his lips brush against your ear, "you're in my bedroom, Y/N. That means you follow my rules."

As if to make a point, he brushed his fingers against the inside of your clothed thigh, pulling a heavy breath from your lips. 

Your irritation soon morphed into pleasure as Jimin brought his lips to yours once again. One of his hands was still rubbing circles against your hip, but the other had moved down to your waist to pull you closer to him. 

“Why did you-” he paused at the sight of you as he pulled back for a moment. Swollen lips, messy hair, heavy pants… Jimin didn’t think he’d ever encountered someone hotter in his entire life. 

He cleared his throat, hoping you didn’t notice the pause, “why’d you change your mind?”

You took him in for a moment. His rust-coloured hair was dishevelled, with a few strands falling onto his forehead, while his plush lips separated to accommodate his heavy breaths. 

You shrugged. 

“I wanted to try a different kind of fun,”

“Fun?” He repeated with a grin.

You felt his hand circle your wrist before he guided you away from the wall. From this angle, you got to enjoy his back muscles peeking from his white shirt before he turned back to you. 

“Clothes off. Get on the bed,” he instructed, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to a corner. 

“I’ll show you what fun is, kitten.”

Next Chapter...

Chapter 2: Busted [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 8.9k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses

A/N: Sorry for taking forever to update, a lack of motivation and school are to blame :( On another note, thanks for that anon's kind words, comments like that really help to keep me motivated!

<< previous chapter || masterlist || next chapter >>

Jimin lurched upright as the sound of the door shuddering violently reverated around the room, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. For a fleeting moment, he was back in his childhood bedroom, watching his door be slammed against repeatedly while his father let out a string of threats from behind the wooden structure. 

But instead of his father bursting into the room, it was Taehyung, who looked exhausted and distressed. 

“Party’s over, get out,” he announced, pausing when he noticed who was sitting up on the bed, “oh, it’s just you.”

Taehyung looked into the hallway for a moment, shouting at someone to hurry up, before poking his head back into the room, “are you staying over? My parents won’t mind, you already know they love you more than me.”

Jimin chuckled, trying to mask his erratic heartbeat, “they won’t mind me, but what about her?”

Their gazes both dropped on you, who was still sleeping peacefully beside Jimin under the soft covers of the bed. He found it funny how Taehyung’s incessant banging hadn’t even caused you to stir in your spot. 

“Yeah no, definitely not. She needs to go.”

Jimin nodded, expecting as much, “I guess I can stay over tonight, just let me wake her up.”

“Great!” Taehyung declared, clapping his hands together, “but when you’re done that, sleep in the second bedroom, not this one. My parents would kill me if they thought I made you sleep in some random guest room.”

“Because I have parents!” He raised his voice suddenly so everyone rushing in the hallways could hear him, “I’m not one of those frat boys whose parents go on week-long business trips! Mine will be back in a few hours from a date, so everyone get out of my house!”

After watching Taehyung scurry back into the halls, Jimin turned towards your sleeping form. 

You were completely passed out as you laid on the mattress with the comforter covering half your face and a pillow fixed snuggly between your arms. The part of your face that Jimin could see was puffy from the few hours of sleep the two of you had managed. 

“Y/N?” He tried, repeating your name a few times. 

But the most you did was shift in your position, and even that had been at his last repeat of your name. With a sigh, Jimin shuffled closer to you, letting his hand rest on your bare arm tentatively while he called your name once again. 

It was only when he shook your arm when you finally shifted, “hm?”

“The party’s over, you have to go kitten,” Jimin answered. He felt you slipping back to sleep, causing him to catch your arm and pull you into a sitting position. 

The change in posture had you blinking lazily as Jimin’s figure appeared before you, top exposed and sitting up in the bed the two of you had apparently spent the night in. His orange hair was sticking out in multiple directions while his eyes were slightly squinted due to his sleepy form. 

The party’s over…

Party? Yes, party… there had been a party and then you and Jimin had sex and then the two of you had fallen asleep. 

Reluctantly, you turned to take in the rest of the room, which was still dark aside from the bedside table lamps and a sliver of moonlight which had escaped through the window. If the moon was still out, then that meant the two of you must have only slept for a few hours. 

“Hey,” Jimin spoke up after a couple of seconds, noticing your groggy form, “you good?”

You blinked a couple of times cluelessly, wishing instead to just burrow back into the sheets and sleep for days. Your body felt like an anchor: heavy and unwilling to move until a sturdy metal chain was ready to drag you out of the bed. 

“Did you come here alone?” He asked when you didn’t answer, assessing your state carefully. Your nod came after a few moments too long as your mind struggled to process his question. 

That made Jimin’s eyebrows furrow, “okay, I’ll take you home. It’s still pretty late in the night and I don’t think you can drive in this state.”

With that said, he pushed himself out of bed, the blanket falling to the floor to reveal his toned back as he began throwing on his clothes. It wasn’t until he was pulling his shirt over his head when you forced yourself to stumble to your feet and do the same. 

-

-

-

The cool air felt fresh against your skin as the two of you walked along the road quietly side by side. It had taken Jimin forever to get your address and car keys in order to drive you home, but once he had parked your car in front of your house, he only needed one look at the abnormally long distance between the separate driveway and the front door to decide that your exhausted form wouldn’t last two steps without him. 

Your house wasn’t like most, slotted between a row of other houses to form a crowded and organised community. Rather it was located far away from any neighbourhoods, and instead nestled between large acres of grassy land. Jimin would’ve guessed it was farmland, but in the dark he found it hard to make out any crops or barns with animals, so he couldn’t say for sure. 

That led to the two of you walking along a dirt-packed footpath, with Jimin keeping a firm hand on your arm to make sure you wouldn’t fall from exhaustion. It still irked him as to how you could still be so tired even now. Sure, you weren’t exactly running on a full night’s sleep, but the few hours you had managed should have been enough to ensure you weren’t a walking zombie. 

“Was it the sex?” He finally asked, “How can you be this tired?”

Even in your exhausted state you still managed to shoot him a withering glare. 

“If you had just let me take the Adderall earlier, I wouldn’t be like this.”

Jimin’s expression fell quickly, a sinking feeling in his stomach, “why? You don’t need it.”

“How would you know? I have a prescription,” you lied smoothly, “do you not believe in mental health, Park Jimin?”

You tried to remember what Adderall was actually used for to really sell your lie, but your mind was much too hazy to manage that level of thinking.

An amused scoff escaped Jimin’s lips, “really? What do you take it for?”

You almost groaned out loud as you went back to racking your brain. BPD? ASPD? IBD? Ugh, why did so many disorders exist in the first place?

“It doesn’t matter,” you finally huffed, giving up on the ability of your thoughts, “I don’t owe you my medical history anywa-”

Before you could finish your sentence, a pebble caught between the edge of your shoe and the dirt-packed ground, causing you to stumble. With how sluggish you felt, your face would have gotten some serious reshaping if it wasn’t for Jimin’s hand that kept you steady,

“The bottle didn’t have a prescription label with your name on it,” Jimin said, pulling you up, “you don’t have to lie to me.”

That made you groan, “if you’re going to tell me about the dangers of drugs and how I’m going to die alone I don’t want to hear it. I have no energy to deal with that right now.”

But to your surprise he didn’t say anything, even after the two of you had arrived at your front door. Instead, Jimin turned towards you, an unreadable expression evident on his face. Or maybe you were just too tired to make out the meaning of his facial features.

For a brief moment, his lips parted, hinting at an unspoken thought he might have wanted to express. But after a moment of silence, he ultimately closed his mouth, choosing instead to look away.

“Sleep tight, kitten,” he said finally, turning around and making his way back to the car without another glance, “I’ll see you on Monday.”

You watched him drive off, much too tired to think any more of the recent events. 

-

-

-

The next morning the shrill sound of your alarm was quick to spring to life, causing you to groan irritably. You slammed a pillow over your ear in a desperate attempt to block out the deafening noise, hoping that it would at least be enough to get you a few more seconds of sleep, but the soft barrier couldn’t do much to dampen the piercing screech. Frustrated, you threw the pillow off of you, letting it’s useless form fall to the floor. 

With the pillow gone, the first thing that hit you was the sunlight. It travelled into the room through your window, setting fire to your surroundings as if someone had accidentally brought the sun in here. It was too bright. Everything was too bright and too loud and too hot. 

Wishing for some semblance of peace, you finally turned towards your bedside table to pick up your phone and shut off the annoyingly loud alarm. It felt a little better, but it wasn’t enough. The sunlight was still so bright it hurt your eyes, while your body still felt heavy. And you were hungry too. So hungry you felt like you could eat a whole cow if you were given the chance. 

“God Adderall crash is such a pain,” you whined as you turned towards your bedside table and began rummaging through the drawers. You pushed past safety pins, hair ties, hairbrushes, some old papers…

Your eyebrows furrowed as you continued searching, but ultimately failed to produce a small white bottle that was your salvation at the moment. You just got a new bottle from Yoongi, where could it be?

You forced yourself to recount yesterday's events, ignoring your rumbling stomach and sore arms. The bottle had been in your pocket as you were leaving school, so it couldn’t still be there. Then you attended Taehyung’s party where you drank some beer and failed to find some drugs, so instead you had sex with Jimin-

You flopped back into your bed as the realisation came crashing down on you. Jimin. Park Jimin had taken your bottle and thrown it away. Your last tiny bottle of Adderall was now in a trash can in Taehyung’s house. 

Your body suddenly felt ten times heavier at the thought. The last time you were out of Adderall, you had to go through a week of fatigue, headaches, and an intense desire to eat everything in sight. You could not go through that again.

With newfound determination, you stumbled out of your room and down the stairs to enter the kitchen. Your goal had been to search the cabinets for some Adderall you might have stashed in the past for later, but the sight of the fridge had derailed that goal. You couldn’t help but grab yesterday’s leftover noodles and shovel them into your mouth as you simultaneously began searching the cabinets. You had to have at least one stash hidden somewhere in the house. 

Though the more you rummaged through the cabinets, the more frustrated you were becoming. They were filled with nothing but decade old spices and some granola bars you couldn’t help but eat alongside your noodles. 

Ultimately you huffed in frustration as you shut the last cabinet and collapsed onto the floor of the kitchen, still no Adderall in hand. Yoongi couldn’t contact you until the police were off his back and you didn’t have any other dealer you could go to. It had already taken you so long to find someone as trustworthy as him. What were you going to do?

Could you get your bottle back from Taehyung’s house? There’s no way that rich kid with a bunch of maids wouldn’t have already replaced all the trash cans in his house, and there’s no way you’d find your small white bottle in all that trash after a party. 

You munched on one of the granola bars as you tried to figure out some other solution to your problem, but with your mind going through withdrawal, it was pretty much useless. There was no hope.

As you sat tiredly on the kitchen floor, biting at your granola bar and finishing up the noodles, your gaze suddenly caught onto a flash of white near your fridge. Confused, you scooted closer to it.

Your eyes widened in excitement as you noticed a small white bottle wedged between the bottom of the fridge and the counter. You knew it. You knew there had to have been one bottle left.

But as you grabbed at the small container, it became apparent even to your unfocused mind that the bottle of Adderall was completely empty. Not even one pill for you to at least get through the day. 

Tired, still hungry, and mind foggier than ever, you just wanted to burrow back into your bed and sleep for the rest of the week. And you were about to do just that until the sound of the kitchen door slamming shut behind you caused you to flinch. 

“Y/N?”

The mind that was struggling to form even one thought suddenly froze altogether at the familiar voice. Eyes wide and bottle in hand, you slowly turned to find your father standing near the kitchen’s doorway. There was a white plastic shopping bag hanging from his hand as he first scanned your form on the kitchen floor, the granola bar wrappers on the dining table…

And then the empty bottle of Adderall in your hand.

Crap.

-

-

-

When Jimin thought of therapy, the first thing that usually came to mind was a minimalist living room with two neutral-coloured sofas, a matching coffee table, and an intrusive woman that was hell bent on finding out ‘how he feels.’

The sofas and coffee table were definitely no stereotype, confirmed by the beige couch he was sitting on now and the glass coffee table standing right before him. 

The intrusive woman, on the other hand, remained yet to be seen. 

Jimin’s gaze jumped around the room anxiously as his arms leaned against his knees, taking in the tall bookshelf that he assumed was filled with self help books, an abstract painting filled with strokes of blue, black, and white, and a window displaying the vast view of the city’s many buildings. 

He had been so preoccupied with scanning the window that the sudden sound of the door opening made him flinch. His head snapped towards the door behind him, revealing a woman in her late twenties walking into the room. She was dressed professionally, with a simple white blouse tucked into black dress pants, while her straight brown hair flowed freely beneath her shoulders. 

“Hello Jimin,” she greeted with a smile when she noticed his seated form, “you’re early. That’s good.”

Jimin greeted her back politely as he watched her take a seat on the identical sofa in front of him. Her sudden entrance had only increased the anxiety he felt towards the fact that he couldn’t see the door. If someone else were to walk through it quietly enough, he wouldn’t even know. Anyone could just sneak up on him just like that…

“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke up, unable to contain his anxiety much more, “could we- um, switch seats?”

Instead of confusion, there was only understanding apparent on the woman’s face, “of course.”

He thanked her as they changed seats. With both the window and the door in his sights he felt a little less anxious. 

Once everything had been settled, the woman gave him a warm smile, “my name is Lauren, and I will be your therapist for the duration of your sessions.”

“How long is this going to take?” Jimin couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t want to be rude, he knew Lauren was only doing her job, but for some reason her presence made him anxious. He felt like she could see through him and reveal every part of himself he’d much rather stay hidden. 

“This, as well as your future sessions, will be around fifty to sixty minutes long. During this time, we will be focusing on your feelings in reaction to the traumatic event, but we won’t be focusing on that too much today since I’ll be doing most of the talking.”

Lauren held up a binder that was sitting on her lap,“I’ll have your treatment manual in my lap and will be referring to it throughout our sessions to ensure I deliver the psychotherapy as it was prescribed. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions as the session unfolds.”

Jimin simply nodded, eyeing the beige pendulum wall clock that had barely moved since she had walked into the room. Seeing as only a minute or two had gone by, he knew this was going to be the longest hour of his life. 

Oblivious to his apprehension, Lauren began to give him an overview of what would normally go on in their sessions before she explained the outline of their current session. It wasn’t until she had moved onto a different topic when Jimin’s straying attention was caught once again. 

“According to your CAPS score, you met diagnostic criteria for PTSD, which is a mental health condition that often develops after experiencing a distressing event. PTSD is characterised by three clusters of symptoms: re-experiencing, avoidance and numbing, and hyperarousal. Could you give me some examples of symptoms you experience that would fall under any of these clusters?

There was a moment of silence as Jimin shifted uncomfortably, “I get frequent nightmares- that would fall under re-experiencing. And last night, for a moment, I thought I was back in my childhood room and my dad was banging against the door. Sort of like a mini flashback.”

Lauren nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“For avoidance and numbing… I try to avoid thinking or talking about what happened altogether. I also kind of feel detached from others, but I couldn’t really explain that in detail even if you asked me to.”

“As for hyperarousal symptoms…” Jimin paused, “Taehyung always tells me I keep my guard up a lot. I’ve also noticed that small things tend to startle me as well.”

Lauren nodded, “re-experiencing symptoms, like your nightmares, are related to hyperarousal symptoms, like your hypervigilance. Both of these symptoms usually elicit a desire to either avoid, become numb, or both. Ironically, trying to avoid or numb your feelings ends up maintaining, or even increasing, your PTSD symptoms. Which is why the more you avoid or numb, the worse your condition gets. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he responded, eyeing the clock once again as her words flew over his head..

“Everyone has existing beliefs that encompass how they see themselves, others and the world. When these beliefs are challenged by things like traumatic events, people respond in different ways. Some might change their perception of the event to make sense of it and essentially blend it into their existing beliefs. This is a process called ‘assimilation.’ Another reaction can involve a process called ‘overaccommodation,’ which involves an individual drastically changing their entire belief system to make the traumatic event fit. Trauma usually affects various areas of beliefs, including safety, trust, power or control, esteem, and intimacy.”

“Another important thing to note is that if someone already had negative beliefs about these aspects before the traumatic event, the event could further reinforce those negative beliefs. Make sense?”

Jimin simply nodded, not entirely understanding much of what she was saying; he just wanted the session to be over with faster. It felt like his brain was going to explode with all the new information that was being thrown at him and his distaste only grew when she asked him to describe his upbringing. 

Even though he knew talking was all therapy was about, he really didn’t want to talk about his crappy past. He’s done a great job of pretending it didn’t exist up until now. 

“My dad did drugs all throughout my life,” Jimin forced himself to say, reminding himself that he had to at least give this thing a try if he wanted to get better, “ they were really hard ones too. They would make him have these hallucinations where he was convinced my mom was cheating on him, or that she and I were planning his downfall or something.”

“Because of that he used to beat my mom a lot, so badly she’d end up in the hospital sometimes. He tried to beat me too, to ‘teach me a lesson,’ but my mom would always protect me by diverting his attention onto her. She did that for the first seven years of my life before she decided that she’d had enough of being my human shield and ran away. My dad’s drug use got ten times worse after that, and with no one to stop him, he began beating me instead.”

Jimin’s gaze dropped to his fidgety hands, “I wonder if my mom left because she had gotten sick of raising me as well. I guess I was a little hyper for my age, maybe if I had been a more quiet and obedient kid she would’ve taken me with her when she left.”

He noticed Lauren write something down in her binder, but decided not to voice his curiosity. When she finished, she looked up at him with sympathy evident in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that Jimin, you didn’t deserve what your father did to you all those years.”

Jimin merely shrugged, though his gaze wouldn’t meet hers. 

“Many people experience traumatic events in their lives, but not everyone develops chronic PTSD symptoms. This is because of a concept commonly known as ‘stuck points.’ Stuck points refer to certain ways of thinking about trauma and about oneself, others, and the world that act as barriers to healing and moving forward. These patterns of thought basically keep a person ‘stuck’ in their distress and contribute to the persistence of PTSD symptoms. This is why the main goal of these therapy sessions will be to figure out what prevented your recovery.”

“But in order to achieve this goal, we’ll have to explore your trauma. Could you provide a five minute account of the traumatic event you experienced?”

That made Jimin scoff, “I got beat up several times a month for years. How am I supposed to pick one?”

“Which of those events do you think about the most? Which event do you dislike thinking about the most? Remember it doesn’t need to be detailed, just a brief overview of what happened.”

Jimin’s dread intensified as his restlessness only increased. But the session was close to ending soon. The faster he got this over with, the faster he could leave. 

“I get the most nightmares about the night my dad died,” he recounted emotionlessly, the pace of his words quickening, “I was in my bedroom with my girlfriend when my dad suddenly started banging against the door. I let him in, but realised he was hallucinating some insane story which made him hurt my girlfriend. I ended up taking a bat to his head which eventually killed him.”

“You did a great job sharing that with me,” she praised, “how do you feel after sharing that memory?”

“Like I want to leave,” he said honestly. 

Instead of taking offence, Lauren simply nodded in understanding. 

“‘Natural’ emotions are feelings that are proportionate reactions to experiences that have occurred. For example, if we’re placed in a dangerous situation, it’s natural to feel fear. The diminishing course of these emotions means that allowing ourselves to feel these natural emotions will eventually cause them to naturally dissipate. ‘Manufactured’ emotions, on the other hand, are emotions that we contribute in making through the frequency of certain thoughts. For example, if a person tells himself he’s ugly again and again, he will likely feel more and more anger towards himself. This is why another goal of therapy will be to figure out how you have been manufacturing emotions that are unhelpful to you.”

“So to summarise, the three major goals of therapy will be to, one, remember and accept what happened by not avoiding those memories and associated feelings. Two, to allow yourself to feel your natural emotions so that the memory can be put away without such strong feelings still attached. And, three, to balance beliefs that had been disrupted or reinforced so that you can stop manufacturing unhelpful emotions.”

The mention of ‘feeling his emotions’ made Jimin want to crawl out of his own skin. 

Lauren then put up a strong case for how important it would be for Jimin to do the out-of-session practice she’d be assigning him at the end of every session, emphasising that not doing those assignments would mean that Jimin would only be spending 1-2 out of 168 hours a week on his recovery, and that doing the assignments would help him reduce his inclination towards avoidance. His nods felt automatic as his gaze stayed fixed to the wall clock, urging its hands to move faster. Recounting his past had left him jittery and all he wanted to do now was lock himself in his room, away from the world and especially away from the therapy that he was disliking more and more every minute. 

But seemingly satisfied with his response, Lauren handed him a worksheet anyway, “your first assignment will be to write an Impact Statement about the meaning of the event you recounted today. This is not a trauma account. Rather, it’s simply designed to get behind the meaning of the event in your life and how it impacted your belief systems.”

He took a look at the worksheet, seeing that it only reiterated what Lauren had said to write in more detail, before hesitantly taking it from her outstretched hand. The two of them then exchanged a few pleasantries as he rushed through the doorway. 

Jimin couldn’t seem to run out of that place fast enough. 

-

-

-

Your muscles stayed frozen as your father continued to stand in the doorway of the kitchen, glare directed towards the white bottle in your hand. You couldn’t believe you had completely forgotten that he was coming home today, your mind too occupied with finding a solution to your current Adderall predicament, and now here he was catching you in the kitchen with an empty bottle of Adderall in your hand. 

You were so screwed.

Your father finally walked deeper into the kitchen before snatching the bottle from your fingers and inspecting it thoroughly.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Listen dad, I completely forgot you were coming home tod-”

“We had a deal, Y/N,” he interrupted, crossing his arms, “what do you have to say for yourself?”

You pursed your lips, unable to put up any defence. He seemed to study your form in silence as you pushed yourself off the floor and opted to lean against the dining table instead, still much too tired to even stand on your own. Whatever he saw must have been pathetic enough for him to simply sigh instead of scold your ears off. 

“Forget it,” he huffed before turning around and making his way towards the porch. 

“Come on, I brought some food.”

-

-

“God, you know I hate the smell of weed dad,” you whined, waving a hand under your nose like it would do anything to dampen the putrid smell. 

The two of you sat on the porch overlooking the vast acres of land that surrounded your house comfortably, making use of the white plastic table and chairs that were at least a decade old. Usually you would appreciate the beauty of the view, with its luscious green grass, bright blue sky, and fresh airy breeze that were completely absent in the city. 

Today though you were miserable with withdrawal, so the green grass and blue sky were much too bright for your eyes, and the fresh air was obscured by the smoke coming out of the fat blunt between your father’s fingers. 

“I already told you the smell goes away after a few minutes,” your dad responded, “here, take some. It’ll help you feel less crappy during your Adderall Crash.”

Normally you would decline. You weren’t a fan of smoking, even if it was weed, since it always made you cough your lungs out. But with your current Adderall withdrawal and the prospect of having to feel this way for the next week looming over your head, you uncharacteristically accepted your father’s blunt before taking a long drag of the thing. 

Just like always, you had to cough it out for a moment.

“Ah, I feel like I’ve failed you as a father for not teaching you how to smoke properly.”

“Most fathers wouldn’t let their kids near this stuff in the first place,” you deadpanned. 

Your father was much too high at that point to take any offence to that and instead laughed. 

“So,” you began, wanting to change the subject, “how was work?”

He took a moment to answer, “work’s work. I drive a giant truck here and then I drive a giant truck there. Drove a little farther away than usual yesterday. The view was incredible, like something straight out of Narnia”

You nodded, beginning to feel your mind and body relax from the drag you had taken earlier. You watched your father open the white plastic bag and bring out some takeout, announcing that he had gotten it on his way back home. He handed you a burger and fries as he brought out one for himself.

“So, care to explain to me why I found you on the floor of the kitchen with an empty bottle of Adderall in your hand?” Your father asked, taking a bite out of his burger. 

You threw a few fries into your mouth, chewing on the crunchy exterior while the inner softness melted on your tongue. Maybe weed wasn’t your thing, but even you had to admit that eating when high on the stuff was just another experience in itself. It had the power to turn even the worst fast food into the most delicious, five-star food known to man. 

“I’m out of Addy,” you finally admitted.

“Addy?”

“Adderall.”

“Right,” your father said, “I can’t keep up with the slang you kids keep inventing nowadays. But anyways, I figured that much. I meant to ask why?”

“I’m sorry dad, I know I promised that I’d get some for your friend since he’s been asking for it, but my dealer had to go in hiding because the police had been tipped off about him and now I don’t have any for myself much less your friend.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” your dad shrugged, not as annoyed by it as earlier. You weren’t sure whether it was because he’d gotten over it or because he was high. 

It was probably the latter.

“You wouldn’t happen to know anyone that could get some for me would you?” You asked hopefully, though the weed was making you feel a lot less concerned about it at the moment. 

Unfortunately your dad just shook his head, “my plug doesn’t really deal the small stuff like Adderall. I can give you some Ritalin though? I have a prescription for it for my job. I heard it’s basically the same thing.”

“I’ve heard the same,” you thought for a moment. Honestly you were desperate for anything at this point, “I’ll take it then. Thanks.”

“No problem, sweetheart.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, your relaxed minds taking in the scenery before you. Unlike earlier, you were starting to enjoy the sight of the fields, with its soft green grass and glorious sky. The soft breeze felt fresh against your skin as you continued to bite into your delicious burger. 

“By the way, what happened to your car? Did you take it to the mechanic or something?” Your dad asked absentmindedly, “I didn’t see it in the driveway.”

“What? Are you sure?” You asked as your eyebrows furrowed. Your car should’ve been parked in the driveway since the party last ni-

You suddenly stumbled to your feet, grabbing onto the railing when you felt a wave of dizziness hit your head. You hadn’t driven your car back home last night, Jimin did. But he had left your house driving a car too. That meant…

A gasp slipped from your lips as you rounded a corner, scanning the empty driveway now standing before you. Aside from your dad’s enormous truck, your black compact Toyota was nowhere in sight. 

“He stole my car,” you realised incredulously. 

That bastard stole your car.

-

-

-

“Jeez Y/N calm down, you’re shaking the whole table,” Namjoon whispered, eyeing the teacher as she continued to lecture the class.

You were seated in your last period classroom, practically counting down the seconds as you waited for the bell to finally dismiss the absolute nightmare of a day you were having. When you had asked your dad for some Ritalin, you had expected him to hand you Ritalin. Whatever he had actually given you had to be far from it though, because there was no way anyone would subject themselves to what you were going through. 

Since the morning you’ve felt like a ticking time bomb, too much energy packed into a single human being. You couldn’t stop moving, which was evident in your persistently shaking leg and constantly fidgeting fingers. Technically you did manage to focus in class, but it had taken a lot more energy than you usually needed to compared to when you were on Adderall. 

At this point, you were just waiting for the awful effects to wear off, but you didn’t know whether your father had given you the extended-release form or the immediate-release form. You hoped it was the latter because you could not endure this for another 7 hours. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Namjoon asked, laying a hand on your finger. You hadn’t even realised you had started tapping against your desk anxiously. 

“God, I’m so jittery right now,” you admitted, willing time to go faster, “I shouldn’t have taken that Ritalin.”

Namjoon’s gaze narrowed as he let out a frustrated breath, “of course it’s the drugs. Why should I even bother thinking otherwise at this point?”

Choosing to ignore the comment, you tried to calm your shaky hands to no avail. As if you weren’t anxious enough, now Namjoon’s frustrated, and slightly worried, gaze drilled into the side of your head. 

Thankfully, the sound of the bell reverberated around the classroom a few minutes later, signifying the end of the period. The second the teacher dismissed you all with a wave of her hand, you were out the door, ignoring Namjoon’s inquiries about where you were going. You may have been the most energetic you’ve ever been in the past few years, but you still hadn’t forgotten that there was something important you needed to do. 

So you pushed past the hundreds of students beginning to crowd the hallway, searching through a sea of maroon and dark grey uniforms for a certain orange-haired menace. You’d seen him in your second period, taking advantage of his seat that was directly behind you by annoying you to no extent throughout the class. Then the coward had left class 5 minutes early so that he didn’t have to face your wrath after the bell rang. 

Your only option now was to search for him after school, which you did in the cafeteria, gymnasium, and a bunch of classrooms, but he was nowhere in sight. You were even debating checking out the principal's office in case the idiot had gotten himself detention. 

Fortunately you didn’t need to make a fool of yourself in front of any school faculty when you turned into a relatively deserted hallway and noticed a flash of orange. 

You found Jimin standing with his back towards a row of lockers, speaking casually with a frustrated-looking Taehyung. He looked really angry, though you weren’t close enough to hear what they were talking about. Despite his friend’s evident irritation, Jimin seemed completely nonchalant. The first few buttons of his uniform had been undone, revealing a sliver of his toned collarbone while his tie hung loosely from his neck. 

But you pushed Jimin’s good looks and Taehyung’s frustration aside, opting instead to march up to the man you’ve been searching for. 

When you were close enough, his gaze finally noticed your form, eyebrows raising for a moment before a smirk overtook his features. 

“Well, look what we have here. What’s wrong, ki-”

But you had no desire to entertain the jerk for any longer than you needed to. Instead, you grabbed his collar, surprising Taehyung who hadn’t even realised you were there, and dragged him through the hallway before entering the school’s only gender neutral bathroom. The door slammed shut behind you as you focused your glare onto him. 

Jimin merely chuckled.

“If you wanted round two so badly, you only had to ask, kitten.”

Maybe it was the Ritalin that was fueling your irritation, because the sound of that nickname had you a lot more annoyed than usual. 

“My car.”

Jimin leaned against the bathroom wall, crossing his arms as he scanned your form. 

“Come again?”

“You stole my car,” you spat, trying to contain your annoyance. You felt like you had so much energy, mixed with anger that was a dangerous combination.

“Your car,” he said finally, a hint of amusement in his voice, “I have it, yes.”

His nonchalance wasn’t helping either. 

“Just because you drove me home that night, doesn’t mean you have permission to steal my car. You think you get to have something like that just for being a decent human being? I could’ve called a cab if I wanted to you know-”

You paused when you noticed his smile widen, clearly amused by your anger. This jerk…

“I can call the police for this, Park Jimin. Just because you gave me a good time once doesn’t mean I’ll feel guilty for having you arrested for taking my car. Have fun in jail you as-”

“I didn’t take your car because I wanted it,” Jimin interrupted, pushing himself off the wall before making his way towards you. It was only then when you realised that he wasn’t wearing his blazer, only the standard white button up that struggled to hide his toned body. 

“I took your car,” he continued, stride ending right in front of you, “because I wanted you.”

That made you scoff.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

You hated the way his proximity made it so much easier for your gaze to travel down his neck and linger at his collarbone. It was bringing back memories from the party, so much so that you could practically feel his plush lips on your skin as you stared at him now. The ghost of his hand rubbing circles into your waist also did not go unnoticed by you. 

“It means that I wanted to see you again,” he reiterated, his own gaze dropping to your lips, as if he were having the same thoughts. 

You watched his hand disappear into his pocket and return with your car keys before placing them in your hand.

“Your car’s in the parking lot,” he said in a low voice, still focused on your lips, “you can go to it right now.”

But you felt stuck under his gaze, unable to rip your own away from the movement of his plump lips as he spoke. You remembered the feeling of them on your lips, how good it felt when they had brushed against the bottom lip roughly.

Seeing that you weren’t moving, Jimin let his arms trap you against the door, bringing his face closer to yours as he whispered, “or you could stay here with me. Would you like that, kitten? To stay here with me and see what happens?”

At this point, he was so close you could feel the heat from his body on yours. The images from that night were fueling your lust. There was no doubt that that night had been amazing, and now here Jimin was giving you a chance at feeling that all over again. 

Hesitantly, your fingers hovered just above his shoulders before you let them slowly travel down to his chest. You watched his muscles tense under your touch, an oddly vulnerable reaction from a guy like him.

You shouldn’t…

You really shouldn’t…

But why? Because Jimin is a prick that you can barely stand? Because the thought of giving him exactly what he wants makes you want to put yourself in timeout? He stole your car for god’s sake. He annoyed you during class.

But he’s so hot. 

How could you be expected to ignore the sharp lines of his jaw? The muscled expanse of his strong shoulders and chest? The deep resonance of his voice? You can’t. Not when all of it is standing right in front of you, shooting you with a gaze that could light you on fire. 

It’s not like you’re agreeing to date, you thought. Sex is just sex, and you’re sure Jimin has it with a bunch of other girls all the time. It would barely mean anything to him. It would definitely mean nothing to you. 

You felt your hand continue to travel up his skin until it stopped at his neck, waiting for you to make another move. You probably should’ve pushed him away. Told him you weren’t that easy. 

But instead your fingers wrapped around his already loosened tie and slowly pulled him closer until his nose was barely an inch away from yours. The words that left your mouth next had a hint of a whisper in them. 

“You’re a jerk, Park Jimin.”

That was the closest to a ‘yes’ he was going to get from you. You had to keep some semblance of dignity. The man stole your car after all. 

The bathroom reverberated slightly at the sound of a click as Jimin locked the door behind you before you pulled him closer, allowing him to finally catch your lips with his. 

Your stomach burst at the feeling of his plump lips gliding against yours in a heated frenzy, one hand holding your cheek steady as the force of his kiss pushed you against the bathroom door. It was clear that the Jimin before you today was eager and impatient, unlike the Jimin that had taken his time that night at the party.

Right now, you couldn’t help but like it.

The hand holding your jaw pulled your face closer to his, deepening the kiss, while his other hand travelled down, brushing delicately against your neck, before grabbing at your waist. In that moment, Jimin’s tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring the space with a hunger that only rattled the butterflies flying wildly in your stomach. You felt him trace the inner lining of your lips, caressing your tongue- the action causing you to yelp unexpectedly in his mouth. As surprising as it was, you wanted him to do it again. 

Jimin pressed you against the door once again, the rough surface hard against your back, but this time all you could do was pull him into you more, encouraging him to continue dragging his tongue across your mouth. You basked in the heat of his chest so close to yours, the feeling of his hand on your waist, the sensation of his tongue on yours. You couldn’t seem to get enough. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Every passing second had you regretting your decision less and less, no matter how annoyed you still were at him. 

Distantly, you felt his middle finger rubbing circles into your waist. 

Jimin broke the kiss for a moment, filling the bathroom with heavy pants as the two of you were allowed to catch your breaths. Your fingers hovered over the buttons of his dress shirt, desperate to start opening them for the view you knew wouldn’t disappoint. 

Jimin, clearly noticing your impatience, let a breathy laugh escape his lips, “relax, kitten. I’ll have you moaning my name like a broken record soon enough.”

That had you scowling, which of course only seemed to amuse Jimin even more. You huffed, knowing your next words would come out weakly before they even left your lips. 

“We’ll see about that.”

-

-

-

“You were such a jerk for that.”

You faced the bathroom’s mirror as you finished adjusting your uniform so that it at least partly resembled itself before you had walked into the bathroom. Jimin had, unfortunately, succeeded in his earlier promise and more, which had you too embarrassed to turn around and face said man who you knew was just a few steps behind you. He'd practically taken every ounce of dignity you had left, and you had given it to him on a silver platter.

If only dignity felt as good as him. 

As if Jimin had heard your thoughts, he replied, “I made it worth your while, didn’t I?”

You could see him in the corner of the mirror, a sly smile plastered over his face as he peered at you through the mirror the same way you were watching him. It didn’t occur to you until now just how good his face would look with a soap dispenser thrown at it. 

To your surprise, he didn’t leave right after he had fixed up his uniform. Instead, he walked over to you before slightly pressing into you, the heat from his chest spreading to your clothed back as he leaned his arms on the sink. You could feel his breath on your neck as his lips brushed against your ear. 

“But let’s make one thing clear, kitten,” he breathed as the words caught your attention, his focus intense even though he was still holding your gaze through the mirror.

“The next time you want to go a round, you’ll have to ask for it. No ambiguous sex bathrooms or calling me a jerk to imply you want some. Just you. Asking me. Using your big girl words.”

“Only in your dreams will I want this again, Park Jimin,” you shot back so quickly you didn’t even have time to wonder what the hell ‘sex bathroom’ was supposed to mean. The fact that he thought there was going to be a next time was laughable. 

You simply got caught up in him and his looks this time. That’s all. This was not going to be a regular thing. You’d never let that happen. 

But Jimin gave you a knowing look, throwing your earlier words back at you, “we’ll see.”

You watched him reach in front of you, grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser, before drying the hands he had just washed with them and then throwing them in the trash. Once that was done he finally stepped away from you, walking towards the door of the bathroom. 

He glanced at your state momentarily before opening it, “until next time.”

And, just like that, he was gone.

“Jerk,” you muttered, the word starting to gain a familiar spot on your tongue. 

After fixing yourself in the mirror one last time you walked out of the bathroom as well. To your surprise, Namjoon immediately ran up to you not a moment later. 

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he panted, readjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. But then his gaze shifted to behind you, seemingly noticing where you had come from, “why’d you use that bathroom? The only time people use it is for sex, you know that right?”

You turned to look back at the bathroom’s door, only now realising what ‘sex bathroom’ probably meant. Did Jimin think you had brought him in there on purpose? As some kind of ambiguous way of saying you wanted sex?

Oblivious to your thoughts, Namjoon ignored your silence, “whatever. Anyways I came here to tell you that you’re coming home with me today.”

That had you snapping back towards him, “what? No, I just want to go home and sleep off this Ritalin.”

Namjoon was shaking his head before you had even finished the sentence.

“Nope, you’re coming home with me and we’re finishing this math assignment together. Come on.”

“Wha-” He grabbed your arm before you could whine anymore and began dragging you behind him.

“Namjoon!”

-

-

-

“Where have you been?” Taehyung asked frustratedly as he watched his best friend make his way towards him. He had no clue where you had dragged him off, and honestly? He was too mad to care.

Jimin, on the other hand, seemed perfectly untroubled, ignoring Taehyung’s furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms to instead open up his locker. The question floated aimlessly in the deserted hallway for a moment before he huffed loudly.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened as Jimin brought a textbook out of his locker, closed it, and then began walking towards the school’s exit. 

“Dude?!” He huffed incredulously, trailing Jimin from behind, “I’m talking to you!”

“And I’m ignoring you,” Jimin deadpanned. Taehyung felt himself take several steadying breaths to calm himself down, trying for a less aggressive approach.

“We were having a conversation before.”

“No, you were being tenacious. And I was trying to ignore you.”

“You’re not fine, Jimin!” Taehyung suddenly exploded, secretly thankful that the hallway was deserted, “you think I can’t see it? You think I’ve been blind these past few months?”

That had Jimin turning around, eyebrows furrowed, “what are you talking about?”

“Don’t act oblivious,” Taehyung spoke sharply, “you haven’t been sleeping properly. You’ve been pushing me away. You haven’t been okay for months- wait, no. Who am I kidding, you haven’t been okay for the past 3 years. But it’s never been this bad, Jimin. It’s been getting wor-”

“Okay,” Jimin interrupted, holding up a hand, “where is this coming from? I’ve been sleeping fi-”

“I heard you that night. At the party.”

“Wha-”

“When you came back from dropping Y/N off,” Taehyung admitted, eyes softening, “I could hear the nightmares, all of them. It’s never been this bad, Jimin.”

Jimin froze, eyes wide for a moment before he forced out a hesitant laugh, “you sure it was a nightmare? Because nightmares aren’t the only kinds of dreams that can have someone panting li-”

“Stop it,” Taehyung snapped, his voice nearing anger now, “stop using that mask on me. You can be carefree and flirty with anyone else, but we’re best friends. I know you better than that. Don’t insult me.”

Jimin let out a frustrated breath, very much tired of this conversation, “then what do you want, Taehyung?”

“What do I want? I want you to open up to me. Things have been getting worse, and yet the worse they get the more you shut me out. Just talk to me, man. Get some stuff off your chest. You can trust me. You know I’m not one to spill secrets to others.”

“I’m fine, Taehyung.”

“No, you’re not.”

Jimin ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. Taehyung has always cared about him so much, too much, for so many years. He gave Jimin a place to stay every time his dad kicked him out of the house. He never judged him for the bruises and scars littering his skin. He’s always made himself available for Jimin whenever he needed to vent about how crappy his life truly was. 

And he’s continued to help Jimin, even after his father died-

No.

After Jimin murdered him. 

Taehyung, of course, knows what went down that night. Maybe not every exact detail, because Jimin had just barely managed to tell him the watered down version of the story before he was a shaking heap of laboured breaths on the floor. But Jimin knew. He knew the look Taehyung had given him after hearing the story. 

Taehyung had judged Jimin. 

Taehyung had seen Jimin for who he really was that day. 

A murderer. A cold-hearted killer that had murdered his own father like it was nothing.

And yet, still, he’s been determined to stay by Jimin’s side. He’s always cared for him despite what his true thoughts of Jimin were. Taehyung’s heart was too big. And Jimin knew he was too undeserving of it. 

“As if the therapy wasn’t enough,” he mumbled, pushing the thoughts out of his mind. It was harder to push the mixed emotions starting to strain his chest.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “as if you’re actually going to that.”

But Jimin’s silence had Taehyung’s eyes widening suddenly.

“Wait… You actually went?”

Hiding his hands in his pocket, Jimin nodded, feeling kind of vulnerable admitting that out loud. But he might as well let Taehyung know he was taking it seriously considering his parents were the only reason he could even afford to think about therapy. 

To his surprise, a wide grin suddenly replaced Taehyung’s prior frown. He rested a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, “that’s great, dude! I’m really proud of you, seriously. I’m sure it’ll really help.”

Jimin couldn’t meet his eyes.

He hoped Taehyung was right. 

Next Chapter...

Chapter 3: Stalker [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, my motivation has just been so bad because of uni. And now with exams coming up, I can't really promise anything, but after my exams are over I'll definitely be more active!

<< previous chapter || masterlist || next chapter >>

“God, I want you to absolutely wreck me.”

The bedroom suddenly quieted, its dim lighting beginning to wrap around the walls and furniture of the room to form an uncomfortably suffocating atmosphere. Or maybe Jimin was just projecting his own deteriorating feelings onto the innocent space. He was well aware that his mind shouldn’t have latched onto the words of the innocent woman he currently had pinned to his bed, shouldn’t have started picturing her wishes in his head, yet he couldn’t stop it. He’s never been able to stop it. But that didn’t stop him from trying every time. 

The more he envisioned the actions, the more he could feel those familiar ghostly hands crawl up his spine. His mind grasped at something, anything else to focus on. 

In his desperation, his unsteady gaze dropped to the girl beneath him. She was the epitome of conventionally attractive, with long, light brown hair sprawled around his mattress and dainty facial features. Modelling agencies would probably die for this girl if she gave them a chance. 

But at the moment she was just a distraction. Or at least she had been, until she had opened her mouth. 

The logical part of him tried to remind himself that her words were just that: words. She was just a horny girl expressing her preferences. It made sense, considering what they were about to do. And if anything, Jimin appreciated it when women told him what they wanted. It made his life a lot easier. 

But those particular wishes churned uneasily in his stomach as he felt the hands continue to travel up his spine, finding a cosy spot on his neck. His heartbeat, which had been racing for an entirely different reason, now thumped painfully in his chest as it quickened in pace. 

This can’t be happening right now, he thought with a mixture of frustration and desperation. 

Jimin pushed the impending, but familiar, feeling aside, choosing instead to focus on Emily.

That had clearly been a mistake.

“Like, tie me down. Choke me. Use me like a freaking slut. I swear I haven’t been railed in weeks,” she continued while running her fingers through his hair, completely oblivious to Jimin’s deteriorating state.

The feelings he had shoved aside pounded against his poorly constructed dam, fueled by the implications of Emily’s words. He could feel the ghostly hands press harder against his neck, labouring his breathing in the process. It was a telltale sign of the panic that had become so familiar to him. He knew now that there was no escaping this episode, no matter how hard he tried to steady his breathing and calm his nerves. 

What he needed to do was get out of here. 

“Those are a lot of demands to cover in one morning,” he said with a forced chuckle, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt, “give me a minute, I’ll be right back.”

Before Emily could protest, Jimin slipped off the bed and half stumbled into his bathroom, just barely managing to lock the door.

And just like that, the dam broke. 

Jimin collapsed onto the tiled floor, desperately trying to get some air into his lungs as memories started to flood his mind. They flashed before him like a montage, nightmare after nightmare stealing his ability to breath. At first, he was back in his childhood home, watching his father push his mother down a flight of stairs while screaming at her like a madman. Jimin could feel his heart racing in his chest as he wondered if she was dead. 

But before he could run to her, his memories moved onto the day his father found out his wife had left. Jimin hadn’t even registered the fact that he’d never see his mother again before his father was on him, shouting at him while his hands enclosed around his neck harder. 

Then he was in his old bedroom, watching the bat in his hands crash into his father’s head as he heard a feminine scream. There was blood everywhere, in the room, on his hands. He tried to wipe it off frantically as it burned his skin, but it didn’t matter. The more he wiped off, the more it spread up his arms. 

All he could do was sit helplessly on the floor of the bathroom, head between his knees, as he shook uncontrollably and gasped for air. But the air wouldn’t come. It was like the ghostly hands had finally succeeded in crushing his windpipe and he could no longer fill his lungs. 

Jimin lurched forward suddenly, feeling his heart hammer painfully in his chest. He swore this time was different. 

He swore this time he was going to die. 

His hand slapped desperately against the counter before it made contact with smooth metal. Relieved, his fingers wrapped around it, pulling it upwards until he could hear the faint sounds of water rushing out of the faucet. He tried to aim his attention to the sound of the water spewing out of the tap, listening intently to the way it sputtered out of the circular piece of metal. Then he focused on the water splashing against the smooth marble sink, running against it momentarily before it was swallowed up by the drain. He could hear the water crash against the pipes under his sink as they whisked the water away. 

It took him what felt like hours to really focus on the sound, letting it sooth him as much as it could. Jimin imagined his memories and panic seeping down the drain alongside it, the black plastic pipes guiding them far away from himself and his house. His breathing started getting a little easier with every passing moment as the memories of his father began to seep back into the locked portion of his mind. 

With small pockets of air now able to enter his lungs, Jimin managed to bring his hand down to the floor. He dragged two of his fingers against it in circles, focusing on the cold of the tile seeping into his fingertips and the rough line of grout between them. He inhaled as his finger met one half of the circle, stalling there for a moment, before exhaling as he completed the round. 

When Jimin finally felt himself calm, only the remnants of a few mild tremors left, he let his back drop against the glass side of his walk-in shower with a sigh. A lingering soreness was spreading throughout his chest as he felt his sweat-soaked shirt stick to his back. Although he was more than familiar with episodes like these, he couldn’t help but wonder why this one had been so particularly bad. 

Either way, the “attack” had left him exhausted, to the point that Jimin almost considered skipping school today. It was especially tempting, considering how much Taehyung had been bothering him recently about the therapy and whether it was working. Jimin had to remind him that he had only gone to one session, though he didn’t mention just how much he had hated it. 

But Jimin knew that there were a few concepts he needed to clarify in his first class, so ditching school was out of the question. 

Not to mention, Jimin’s second period had gotten a lot more interesting when the school had decided to transfer him to a different class because of a few scheduling issues. Particularly your presence had intrigued him, because he was so confused as to how he’d never noticed you before. Sure, Jimin had only been attending this school for the past two years, but he still found it hard to believe that the two of you had never crossed paths. He’d have definitely remembered if that were the case. You were, without a doubt, the most attractive woman he’d ever met, there was no way he would have overlooked a face like that.

Jimin stretched forward, just barely managing to close the faucet without having to get up from his position on the floor. You were fun to tease, and definitely something during sex. Jimin didn’t think he’d ever enjoyed sex as much as he had with you. 

His gaze dropped as he remembered the bottle that had been clutched in your hand that night at Taehyung’s house. It had been a shock to him that you were using, even though technically he was well aware he didn’t know you at all. He wondered if your addiction stopped at Adderall, or did you do more than just that? He hoped you didn’t, for your sake. 

Jimin had wanted to say something about it when he had dropped you off, encourage you to choose a different path for yourself. But he couldn’t seem to find the right words. He had used them all up when his father was still alive, none of which were successful of course. So instead he had walked away, guilt nibbling away at him with every step. 

“Jimin?”

Jimin’s head snapped towards the door as Emily’s muffled voice passed through it. He had practically forgotten that she was still there, too wrapped up in his panic and then his thoughts to remember that she’d probably been waiting for him to come back to his bed. He knew he couldn’t do it. She clearly wanted things that he just couldn’t give her. The prospect of having to explain some lousy excuse to her suddenly made him exhausted all over again. 

But thankfully Emily spoke up again before he could reply, “look, my first class starts soon and I can’t miss it. I guess we’ll have to do this another time.” 

He could hear the disappointment in her tone before he listened to the sound of her footsteps as she walked out of his bedroom, followed by the sound of his front door shutting quickly. When he was sure she was gone, he stood from his spot and made his way to his bedroom, picking up his phone to confirm the time. Emily wasn’t wrong, his first class was starting soon. He would have to get going as well. 

Jimin walked back to his bathroom, standing in front of the mirror above the sink. His gaze scanned the damp, rust-coloured hair sticking to his forehead, and then the beads of sweat travelling down his neck. He grimaced. First, he needed a shower.

-

-

-

Jiwoo was in a mood. 

You had begun to suspect as much at the end of your first class, when she had kicked your bag while stomping out of the classroom. Although Jiwoo was always pulling stunts like that, she’d usually accompany it with an irritating taunt or mocking expression. But it wasn’t until right before second period, when she had purposely bumped into the open pencil case on your desk to scatter it all over the floor, when you became certain.

Jiwoo was in a mood. 

You watched her drop into her seat near the front of the class with an angry huff, uncharacteristically not even bothering to spare you a fake “oops.” Normal Jiwoo was far from a saint, but god did annoyed Jiwoo unlock a different type of rage in you. Her irritation made you wonder how her parents’ divorce was going. Probably not great, if her mood today was anything to go on. 

With an annoyed sigh, you slipped off your chair and lowered yourself to the floor to focus on collecting your things, trying to calm your raging heartbeat and shaking hands in the process. You weren’t sure whether it was because of Jiwoo or the Ritalin. This was your third day on Ritalin even though you had vowed to never take the stuff again. You didn’t really have much of a choice. There was still no news on Yoongi, which meant you were still out of Adderall. And although Ritalin made you crazy with nerves, it still somehow managed to help you focus on your schoolwork. Not to mention you’d much rather be a jittery mess than the dead zombie that your Adderall crash had reduced you to.

Unfortunately, until you could get your hands on some Adderall, Ritalin was your only option. 

You shoved the last of your supplies into your pencil case, brows furrowing when you noticed that you were missing your eraser. But one scan of the floor showed no sign of the white rubber. 

You checked under your desk and then your chair, wondering where it could have disappeared to.

It wasn’t until a pair of black dress shoes and grey dress pants appeared in your line of sight when you realised where your eraser had gone. 

“Looking for something?” Jimin asked in a teasing tone, holding out your white eraser between the tips of his index and middle fingers. 

Your gaze reluctantly travelled up to his smug face, the feeling of annoyance a natural response to his presence at this point. 

“Stealing my car wasn’t enough? Now you want my eraser too?”

Jimin’s head tilted for a moment before he rested a hand on your desk and leaned forward so that his next words could only be heard by you. 

“Why would I want anything more when I’ve already got you on your knees for me, kitten?”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the tempting view of his sharp jawline, before grabbing your pencil case and pushing yourself off of the ground. Leave it to Jimin to turn every instance into an opportunity to flirt. 

“Weren’t you the one that said I had to ask for sex the next time I wanted it? What happened to that?” You asked with a low voice before taking back your eraser. 

“I never said I couldn’t be tempting.”

Then, to your surprise, Jimin dropped into the empty desk beside yours instead of his usual seat behind you. It took you a second to register the sudden change, and then another to eye him weirdly. 

But before you could ask him what he was doing, Mr. Kim walked into the classroom just as the bell rang. The students rushed to their seats to bring out their textbooks, some of the girls swooning over the alleged new shirt he was wearing. You took your seat quickly, sending Jimin a glare in the process. 

Taehyung hurried into the room just after Mr. Kim, slipping unnoticeably past him before dropping into his usual seat. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment when he noticed Jimin wasn’t sitting next to him, and then they furrowed even further when he realised where he was actually sitting. 

“Come on man, what happened to bros before hoes?” He muttered under his breath. You almost laughed at his sulky expression.

Mr. Kim began writing the lesson on the whiteboard, “please turn to page 245.”

You turned to the page alongside the rest of the class as Jimin did the same, distantly noticing your leg bouncing up and down unconsciously. 

Mr. Kim turned back to the class, beginning the lesson by explaining the concepts on the page he had instructed everyone to turn to. He was one of the better teachers, so you were easily able to understand the seemingly complex concepts.  

That was until Jimin started annoying you, just like he had been doing in class for the past few days. It was always small things, like sneakily drawing random doodles in your notebook when you weren’t looking or stealing your pencil every so often. It took everything in you not to throw your eraser at his face. Instead, you dragged your notebook and supplies to the other side of your desk with a huff.

That just made him laugh, one he had to muffle with his hands so Mr. Kim didn’t call him out. 

The class went on like this, a mixture of evading Jimin’s antics while simultaneously trying to understand the lesson being taught by Mr. Kim. You honestly had to applaud the guy for being able to escape Mr. Kim’s gaze for so long. He was notoriously known for being an observant teacher, and because of that you were sure he knew a lot more student secrets than he let on. 

However, Jimin’s antics had to come to an abrupt end when Mr. Kim placed his whiteboard marker down and faced the class, seemingly finished with teaching the lesson. He called up two students, handing them both stacks of papers to hand out to the rest of the class. 

“Your next assignment will consist of a presentation closely resembling a seminar, where each group will be expected to accurately teach the class on an assigned topic,” he explained, characteristically professional and thoughtful with his words, “since the goal of this assignment will be to facilitate understanding, I will be expecting the incorporation of some creative elements in order to keep the presentation engaging in addition to being informative.”

One of the students that had been handing out the mini booklets finally reached you and Jimin, handing the two of you one each before moving onto Taehyung. 

“The booklets in front of you go over the details pertaining to this assignment. Therefore, I expect you all to read through them thoroughly to avoid losing marks over small mistakes.”

Mr. Kim suddenly smiled, “although, with this being your senior year I doubt you all require such a reminder anyway.”

You watched Jiwoo’s hand shoot into the air as you tried to keep Jimin’s hands off your booklet. Mr. Kim nodded towards her before she spoke, “will we get to choose our own groups?”

“No, I will be assigning the groups, as well as the topics,” he replied, earning him a number of whines and groans. But Mr. Kim merely chuckled, amused, but not willing to change his mind. 

He then turned to the first row of students, grouping them in pairs based on their seating. You groaned inwardly when you realised the pattern he was going by and who, in that case, would end up being your partner. 

“Jimin and Y/N,” Mr. Kim grouped, but then paused when he noticed Taehyung sitting without the deskmate, “and Taehyung.”

“Mr. Kim,” Jiwoo said once again, but this time you rolled your eyes knowing what she was going to bring up, “isn’t it unfair that one group has three students? That will lessen their workload compared to everyone else!”

You noticed Jiwoo send you a mocking smile for a moment, clearly trying to incite you.

Witch. 

“You may rest assured, Ms. Kim. I will ensure everything is as fair as possible,” he reassured with a small smile. But Jiwoo just slid down in her seat, annoyed that her plan to make your life harder had pretty much failed. 

You wished she turned around so you could send her your fakest smile. On one hand was Jiwoo, the most annoying witch in existence, and then on another hand was Jimin, the most annoying jerk in existence. 

What has your life come to?

When the bell finally rang and Mr. Kim dismissed the class, you crumpled one of your rough pieces of paper and threw it at Jimin’s face with a glare. 

It wasn’t much, but boy did it make you feel better. 

“What was that for?” He asked, failing miserably at stifling a laugh. 

“You know what.”

Ignoring Jimin’s amused glance, you packed your bag as your classmates began to chat with each other and started making their way to the cafeteria. You wouldn’t be heading there, though, since you usually spent your breaks in the library studying. It just felt better to get all your work out of the way so you could go home and just sleep for hours. 

You walked out of the classroom, thankful that you could finally get away from the annoying thing known as Park Jimin, and then began walking to the library. The hallways were full of students relaxing and playing around with each other, making you think of Namjoon. He was away on some trip for a maths competition. Or maybe it was for a science competition? Either way, he was off doing his nerd stuff, so you couldn’t invite him to hang out after you finished studying. 

You made it to the library’s front desk, sending a smile to the main librarian who returned it sweetly. 

“Hello, have the study room schedules been made yet?” You asked. 

She answered your question with a nod and, after giving her your name, she began searching the computer for your schedule.  

Since the demand for the very limited number of study rooms in the library was so high, the school had decided to come up with a schedule system for the students that wished to use them, because a first come, first serve approach would be much too “barbaric” for a private school of course. Each student was given a schedule for which study room they were assigned to and when they could use it. 

“Hi, can I get my study schedule please?” A voice asked, “my name is Park Jimin.”

Your gaze snapped to your side, finding Jimin standing right next to you. 

Seriously?

“So you’ve resorted to stalking me now?” You asked, causing Jimin to turn to you with a surprised expression. 

When his gaze fell on you, he grinned. 

“How come I’m the stalker? You could very well be the one stalking me,” he said. 

Before you could reply, the librarian walked back to her desk and handed you and Jimin your printed schedules. The two of you thanked her before walking over to the library’s elevator while looking them over. 

Thankfully, you were scheduled for a study room on Wednesdays during break, so you didn’t have to find somewhere else to study at the moment. 

You eyed Jimin when he followed you into the elevator, watching as he pressed the button to the floor you were also going to. The two of you seemed to be finding yourselves in each other’s presence a lot lately. It made you groan inwardly, knowing that the semester had only just begun.

It was like having a second Jiwoo since you and her were usually thrown together a lot due to your familial ties, but at least Jimin didn’t kick your bag or slap your pencil case to the ground. That earned him at least a few more points in your book.

The book’s name? “The Most Annoying People in Kim Y/N’s Life,” of course.

The elevator door dinged as it revealed the hallway of the second floor. Jimin walked out of it first, unfortunately taking a right into the hallway, which was the same way you were going. 

You followed him reluctantly.

“Who’s following who now, kitten?” He said with a smirk, an eyebrow raised at you. 

You simply huffed, “shut up.”

You didn’t bother to come up with a better comeback. All you had to do was make it to your study room, then you could finally get rid of him. This day had been filled with way too much Jimin, and you were actually looking forward to doing homework in a nice and quiet room over having to deal with his annoying butt. 

Jimin continued through the hallway until he stopped in front of the door to the farthest study room from the elevator. The action made your eyes widen.

“No,” you denied immediately, stomping over to him before grabbing his schedule from his hand, “no way. There’s no way.”

Your mouth fell open as you took in his schedule, almost exactly identical to your own. The only day in which your and Jimin’s schedules didn’t align was Monday. Only one out of the five days of school in a week would you be free of him. No way. There was no way this was possible. Of all the insane things…

While you were distracted, a confused Jimin took your own schedule from your hands, looking over it curiously. It only took him a second to figure out what your issue was, but when he did, he couldn’t help himself. 

Jimin burst into a fit of laughter. 

“Stop laughing, this isn’t funny,” you whined, smacking the paper against his head. That only made him laugh harder as he fell to the floor with a hand clutching his stomach. 

“Guess we’re stuck with each other now,” Jimin managed through his laughter. 

You rolled your eyes, choosing instead to walk past him into the room. Fine, if you were going to be stuck with him, then you were just going to have to ignore his presence completely. It was the only ray of hope in your seemingly continuous misery. 

You dropped into a seat at the large table, spreading your work out as you opened your laptop and began typing furiously against the innocent keys. 

After a few minutes Jimin walked into the room, closing it behind him before he thankfully dropped into a chair away from yours and brought out his own work. You risked a glance upwards, catching a smirk on his lips that made your blood boil. 

Your eyes stayed glued to your screen after that. 

You expected him to annoy you the same way he had during your second period class by stealing your pencils or throwing a paper plane at you, but instead he remained focused on his work for a full half an hour straight. That came as a surprise to you because you honestly hadn’t been expecting him to be very studious. Maybe it was because he had annoyed you during class. Or maybe it was because you had unintentionally believed in the stereotype against guys that slept around. Either way, it was surprising when you managed to get through half an hour worth of work without any disturbances. 

After half an hour, though, Jimin sighed, leaning back in his chair as he stretched his arms behind him. He’d taken off his blazer, so you could see the defined lines of his muscles stretch under his dress shirt. Your straying gaze quickly shot back to your screen, but not before Jimin had noticed your curious eyes. He smirked. 

You were able to work for a few more minutes before Jimin suddenly leaned forward, eyeing you curiously. 

“So,” he said, causing you to turn your head towards him questionably, “how did your dad end up reacting?”

 You furrowed your eyebrows, “what?”

“After the party, when you came home after midnight. I’m surprised he wasn’t already standing on the porch with a shotgun ready.”

You snorted, unable to imagine your dad doing that, “my dad’s not like that.”

“Oh, so he was cool with it and everything?” He asked. 

You shifted in your seat, “no… I mean, I don’t know. He wasn’t home that night.”

Jimin nodded, “business trip?”

“Kind of. He’s a truck driver,” you explained, a little weirded out by the suddenly normal conversation but still appreciating the unexpected break from your work, “he’s usually only home on weekends. Otherwise he’s out driving across the country.”

Jimin’s eyes widened, “so he leaves you alone during the entire week? And sometimes he doesn’t even come back on the weekends?”

You shrugged, finding it odd how surprised Jimin looked, “yeah? I’m not a kid, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Jimin’s gaze dropped to the table in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. But you noticed a slight scowl in his features. 

Weird. 

You shifted to face Jimin, a question coming to mind, “but why are you only asking about my dad?”

Jimin didn’t look up from the table, “I heard what that girl said about your mom last Friday… I just kind of assumed…”

The room quieted into what felt like an awkward silence. You had the feeling that something you said had cut the surprisingly normal conversation short, but there was nothing you said that could have offended him so you didn’t really understand why that was. 

You turned back to your work, brushing against the touchpad to light up your laptop’s screen once again. After sending one final curious glance at Jimin, you went back to your work. 

But Jimin was clearly lost in thought. 

-

-

-

The first thing Jimin noticed when he walked into the room was Lauren, who was sitting on one of the beige sofas situated next to the glass coffee table. She had been looking down at the binder she had shown him in their last session, reading over something intently before the sound of the door opening had her looking upwards and then smiling. 

“Hello Jimin,” she greeted, to which he gave her a curt nod. 

Thankfully, Lauren had already situated herself on the sofa facing away from the door, allowing Jimin to sit on the one that gave him a view of both the entrance and the window at the same time. Even in his sour mood, he was able to appreciate the gesture. 

He knew Lauren was studying him, taking in his sudden attitude, but to his surprise she didn’t call him out on it. Instead, she closed the binder and placed it beside her on the sofa, bringing a much thinner notebook onto her lap in its place.

“Did you complete the Impact Statement worksheet I assigned in the last session?” She asked, to which Jimin nodded. 

He had avoided starting it until the last minute, something he knew Lauren wouldn’t approve of considering she had given him that big speech about avoidance and how it wasn’t helping him. He just couldn’t help it, he’d spent years trying to rid his mind of that night’s memories. Anything that reminded him of it was discarded, any person that reminded him of it was avoided. Even the house had been sold the second it was passed down to him. So doing this Impact Statement? Something that would not only remind him about it, but make him think about it to a deeper extent… it had been hard. 

“Could you read your Impact Statement out loud?”

Jimin’s eyebrows pulled together at the random request, confused as to why that was necessary. He wasn’t in kindergarten anymore, where they would make his class take turns reading various children’s books to each other. 

He shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the request. But he couldn’t make a fuss about it. He needed to give this therapy thing a genuine try, especially considering the enormous attack he had this morning. 

Jimin brought out the statement from his school bag, unfolding it slowly. He cleared his throat before finally following along the hastily written words. 

“This traumatic experience happened because I was stupid and did something horrible. I knew that my father wasn’t himself, I knew that he was under the influence, and yet I still ended up murdering him, my own father, like some kind of psychopath. Saying that that makes me a horrible person feels like an understatement, because being a killer is one thing, but being able to kill your family? That must make me even worse than a murderer. I feel like I don’t deserve anything good because of it. If anything, the world should bring me my karma and just end it already. I think that sometimes… that because of what I did, someone is just silently watching me and waiting for the right moment to get back at me. I feel like I’m never safe, like I constantly have to be on guard whenever I’m out. I feel like people should think the same about me too, they shouldn’t trust me either. My past is evidence enough that I might just lose it and hurt someone. I would hate to do that to Taehyung especially, the only person that’s genuinely been there for me. But anyways, the gist of it is that I’m not a good person. I make bad decisions. I feel unsafe all the time, especially when I’m around other men. Sometimes when I’m out I can imagine every grown man that looks my way hates me the same way my dad did, and that they’d go after me the first chance they got. I don’t want to get close to people because I feel like if I build any kind of genuine relationship, I’ll end up hurting them. That’s why I don’t think Taehyung should have a friend like me, that he deserves better. I don’t know how to make things better. I don’t think I’ll ever be normal again.”

The room fell quiet as Jimin set the paper down on the coffee table, wanting it away from him immediately. He was relieved that he was finally done with this assignment, though he hadn’t noticed how much he had ended up writing despite the limited amount of time he had to complete the worksheet. 

“What did it feel like to write and then read the Impact Statement aloud?” Lauren asked, an expression of complete neutrality. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that she wasn’t disgusted by him. 

Or at least she wasn’t showing it. 

“It was hard,” Jimin admitted, gaze travelling everywhere but her, “honestly I didn’t start the worksheet until just an hour before I came here.”

Lauren surprisingly nodded, “the good thing is that you completed it nonetheless. It is difficult work, Jimin, and you were able to get through it. That takes a lot of strength.”

“But I should remind you that avoidance only helps in maintaining PTSD symptoms, right?”

Jimin nodded. 

“How do you feel after reading the Impact Statement?” She asked. 

“A little less anxious,” Jimin replied, though it was more the fact that he was relieved it was over than anything else. Whether his improved feelings were because the Impact Statement had actually helped or because of the relief he felt from it being over, there was no doubt that he felt better now compared to the anxiety he had been feeling when walking into this room. 

“If doing the assignment in this way made you a little less anxious, then I wonder what it would have been like to have completed the assignment earlier in the week?” Lauren wondered out loud, but she didn’t dwell on it for long. She was clearly keen on changing the topic. 

“Now, earlier it seemed that you might have been upset about something. Could you explain to me why that was?”

“It’s nothing,” Jimin said, shaking his head as he leaned back against the sofa. But he could feel his blood begin to boil once again, his thoughts from earlier apparently the flame. His anger simmered to the surface and, before he knew it, he was blurting everything out. 

“It’s just… I was talking to this classmate of mine earlier today, just a normal conversation, and she told me something about her dad that kind of pissed me off.”

Lauren tilted her head, “can you tell me what she told you that made you so angry?”

Your words from earlier filled his mind once again, bringing the anger along with them. He had been furious throughout the rest of the school day, and all throughout the ride here, with your words and their implications repeating over and over in his head.

Jimin suddenly stood up and walked over to the window, his anger making him want to move around. 

“The thing is, she’s actually this girl I hooked up with at a party last Friday,” he started to explain, not realising that he had begun pacing around, “I’d ended up taking her home that night because she didn’t really seem like she could get there on her own, so I just casually asked her about how her dad had reacted to her getting home so late. She started telling me about how her dad hadn’t been home that night because he’s a truck driver. In fact, she said that he usually wasn’t home at all throughout the week, and sometimes he didn’t even come back on the weekends that he’s supposed to.”

Jimin spun around towards Lauren, who had shifted so that she was still facing him, “can you believe that? What kind of father would leave their kid alone for weeks at a time? And does he even know what his own daughter has been doing in his absence? She uses, you know. I bet he has no clue.”

“But of course he doesn’t,” Jimin scoffed, “just one of the millions of examples of a grown man being absolutely useless and incompetent as a father.”

He turned to look outside once again, trying to focus on anything that could calm down his racing heart. 

“Do you feel that way about your own father?” He heard Lauren ask from behind him. 

“Obviously. He beat my mom, and then he beat me. That didn’t exactly make him father slash husband of the year. Nothing could justify his actions,” Jimin reasoned. 

“Do you feel that your actions that night also can’t be justified?”

He paused, the question catching him off guard. Slowly, Jimin faced Lauren once again, “well yes, I’m not different from him. If anything I’m worse. He beat people. I murdered him.”

Lauren’s gaze bored into him in an almost unnerving way before she spoke, “‘murder.’ That’s a strong word.”

“It’s appropriate in this context.” 

“From what you’ve told me, it seems like you killed your father after he had begun to hurt your girlfriend-”

“Ex,” Jimin said, his gaze not meeting hers, “ex girlfriend.”

“Ex girlfriend,” Lauren corrected, “your actions occurred in a very specific place and time, and under certain circumstances.”

“Yeah, but he still died. And I’m the one that killed him.”

“Yes, he died, and it seems, at least in part, because of your actions. Does that make you a murderer?”

“Yes,” Jimin answered straight away, not comprehending what was so hard to understand, “I took a bat to his head, and then he died. That’s murder. And that’s worse than anything he had ever done to me.”

“Really? You think it’s worse?” Lauren asked, her voice suddenly quieter. For the first time since these sessions started, Jimin thought he might have caught a little sadness in her expression. But the moment he caught it the expression disappeared, tucked back under that blanket of neutrality that he had become so used to. Distantly, he wondered if he had imagined it or not. 

“On one hand, people were hurt. On the other hand, someone was killed. Obviously both situations aren’t good since people were hurt either way. But I killed him, he didn’t kill anyone.”

“It is true that the outcomes are different,” Lauren agreed, “but it’s the context that I wonder about.”

Jimin’s brows furrowed, “what do you mean?”

“Do you think what the intention was in those situations matters, regardless of the outcome?”

“No,” Jimin replied firmly, pulling back on the frustration in his tone,“in one case someone was killed. In another, no one was killed.”

Lauren paused for a moment, seemingly studying him with her characteristically neutral expression. When nothing was said for a few seconds, she clasped her fingers together before resting them over her lap professionally, “while it is true that your father died, and that your actions played a role in it, I think we might slightly disagree on the definition of the term ‘murder.’ It is apparent that his death has been a very difficult thing for you to accept, and that you are trying to make sense of that. From what you’ve told me, the sense that you appear to have made of his death is that you are a ‘murderer.’ I believe this is a good example of one of the stuck points that seem to have prevented you from recovering from this traumatic event. We’ll definitely be spending more time together on understanding your part in his death.”

Lauren then began to explain something about how important it was to be able to identify and label his emotions and thoughts, but Jimin’s thoughts were too stuck on her earlier words to pay any attention. He wondered about how intentions might or might not matter in the context of whether a death is considered a murder or not. When a person participates in an action that ends up with another person dead, he was pretty sure that classified the situation as a murder. He couldn’t really understand where the nuances existed in a situation like this. 

But then again, Lauren’s suggestion hadn’t been too crazy of a thought either. If a person didn’t intend to kill the other, then would it still be considered a murder?

Had he intended to kill his father that night? Jimin wanted to say no and deny such a thing, because he really hadn’t wanted to do that. But he had taken a wooden baseball bat straight to his father’s skull, what other outcome had Jimin been expecting? Maybe intention did matter in general, but in Jimin’s case he concluded it made no difference. 

“How do you feel about the death of your father?” Lauren asked randomly, catching Jimin’s straying attention. He had no clue what the context behind the question was since his thoughts had been elsewhere while she had been explaining it, which had caught him off guard.

“Um,” Jimin paused, having to think about it for a moment, “I know he did horrible things to me, like I’m aware his actions were wrong, but… a part of me felt a little saddened by his death. Maybe not because of losing him as a person, but losing him meant that I had lost the last of my family. It does make me feel sad when I think about it.”

Lauren nodded encouragingly, “and that is a completely natural reaction to have when you feel that you’ve lost something. It’s good to feel that sadness and let it run its course.”

Jimin let a breathy chuckle escape his lips, though there was no humour behind it, “feeling sad isn’t exactly something I enjoy- actually I prefer to avoid feeling anything at all. It’s just easier that way.”

Lauren crossed her leg over the other, continuing to focus on Jimin as she brought her clasped hand over her lap once again, “have you ever allowed yourself to feel sad?”

He shook his head, explaining that he’s always preferred avoiding anything and everything that had to do with intense feelings like that. Even the frustration he had shown earlier was a generally rare occurrence. 

“Then if you’ve never allowed yourself to feel your emotions, how do you know that it would be easier not to feel them?”

Jimin was silent, processing the logic behind her words once again. He was starting to realise that therapy was a lot more logical than what he had initially thought.

“From what you’ve told me, avoiding your feelings hasn’t helped you very much so far. Maybe allowing yourself to feel the natural feelings associated with the traumatic event may help you recover from what happened?”

“Maybe…” He relented, knowing that her reasoning made sense to him. 

But Jimin still couldn’t help but feel anxious at the thought of feeling his emotions. He didn’t even know if he’d ever truly felt them before. With a father that had been beating him for as long as he could remember, it really had just become easier to numb himself to the pain. He was scared of revisiting that pain, he realised. The pain that he’d been trying to run away from his whole life.

Lauren opened her binder to bring out a few sheets that were similar to the Impact Statement worksheet she had given him in their last session, except they clearly had a different purpose. She called them “A-B-C” Sheets, which again reminded Jimin of kindergarten, and explained how to go about completing them properly. She also explained how they were meant to help him begin to identify the things he was telling himself and his subsequent emotions before they had exchanged pleasantries and Jimin had walked out of the room.

Unlike the last session, where he had rushed through the door at light speed, Jimin took his time walking through the hallways and out of the building. This time his mind was filled with questions of murder and intention. He thought about feeling his feelings, and how long it had been since he had lost the ability to do so. He thought about you and your dad. He thought about everything.  

There was just so much to think about. 

So much to think about indeed.  

The Sex Contract | PJM

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction (explict), PTSD, child abuse, be sure to check the warnings for each chapter as additional warnings may be added as story progresses.

Chapter Index:

01 | 02 | 03 | ongoing...