Bts Smut Recs - Tumblr Posts

Thank you for including Lemme Take Care of You 🥺💜

✨bad idea, right???✨

I just tripped and fell into his bed!!!

🌷 baby, don't go (yoongi x reader) by @ki-yomii

🌷 last november (seokjin x reader) by @kithtaehyung

🌷 can't spell s*x without ex (jungkook x reader) by @badbtssmut

🌷 just a taste (jimin x reader) by @livingformintyoongi

🌷lemme take care of you (jungkook x reader) by @ahgasegotarmy116

🌷 days to morning glory (jungkook x reader) by @sketchguk

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ wanna visit my smut library ? ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ back to the m.masterlist ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

baby, you can drive my car |(mechanic!yoongi)

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 

→ genre: mechanic!au, spoiltbrat!y/n (++ inexperienced y/n as hiGHLy requested hehe), 6 greasy bois, a taste of richboy!jin, a vintage mercedes benz named beeper, usual dose of crackheadiness, touch of angst, sprinkle of fluff, and bts (big time smut) ((i love recycling this joke don’t come for me)) (((thigh-riding)))

→ trigger warning: there is a brief mention of blood so tread lightly if you feel queaSy about that! 

→ wordcount: 24.6k magic in the air 

→ summary: welcome to min mechanics - what can i do for you today, doll?

→ note: ooh BOY this took me a while! i’m sorry it took me so long to publish this but i hope this bad boy (i’m talking about the fic itself anD mechanic!yoongi) makes up for it! mechanic!yoongi has been in the works for a while… thank you to every single one of you who contributed each of your own lil ideas and helped to create the chArming tattoo-sleeve man we all fuLLY fell in love with. seriously y’all i could not have done this without you!! i ain’t gon lie i was going to post this on the day of the comeback but i think i needed a day to just.,.,, SCREAM and listen to the album.,.,,.  (and also i was still editing it yikes) ((and also what do u guys think of the new albUM hELLO)) so here it is twO days after the comeback!!!!!!! i hope i gave you sufficient time to recover from the new album but if not oH well what can ya do!!! also i’m really friCkin nervous for some reason but nonetheless enjoy the ride! ( 灬♥ 3 ♥灬)

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or yoongi u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you know what

you could totally get used to this being an adult thing

you finally get to live in your own place

you finally get to eat whatever the heck you wanna eat

and most importantly

you finally get a car

yes, you’ll admit, you’re a little behind with the whole car thing

most of your friends already got their licenses befoRe becoming adults but so what if you were a little slow!!! you were just living life as a teenager!!!! there was no rush

let’s not beat around the bush here

you are: a spoilt brat

like unbelievably so

when you were younger all you’d have to do is point at something and your parents would immediately be like ….aight

Keep reading

maybe, she can drive his car; mechanic!yoongi

➺ pairing; mechanic!yoongi x spoiledbrat!y/n

➺ genre; mechanic!yoongiverse!! sfw!! honk honk humour!! some suggestive behaviour because this is mechanic!yoongi and his y/n we're talking about!! the green-eyed monster inside of y/n is awoken after being dormant for so long and she's ready to bite some heads off

➺ wordcount; 11.6k

➺ summary; yoongi's ex is back in town for a visit and you'd be lying if you said you weren't slightly envious of a) how knowledgeable she is about stupid cars and b) how well she gets along with literally everyone.

➺ what to expect; "right, about that- i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before... you understand, don't you?"

➺ currently spinning on the record player; mustang sally (originally by wilson pickett, covered by andrew strong)

(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the original creator of course :-))

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

namjoon usually doesn't pay too much attention to you whenever you're hanging out at the workshop with everyone because of how often you're here, but there's something about the way you're acting today that even he has to admit is oddly very...

cute?

and it's not that you're not cute all the time (because you totally are!!) but it's just that the version of you today in particular is suddenly making him want to go off and find a y/n of his own

"whatcha doing?"

namjoon jolts in surprise when a grimy hand suddenly burrows itself into the warm bag of freshly-popped popcorn that he has cradled to his chest and he scowls before turning his body away slightly

"hey, you're contaminating the popcorn, man-" he huffs, quickly grabbing the mega-sized pack of hand wipes from the desk before plopping it down on the countertop for jungkook, "at least have the decency to wipe your hands before digging into my popcorn- also, i'm watching. duh."

"watching?" jungkook frowns as he sloppily wipes his hands on the front of his shirt, turning to look out the open door, "watching what?"

"yoongi and y/n." namjoon hums, popping a couple of kernels into his mouth with a crunch, "she's been following him around like a little duckling all day."

"mm." jungkook props an elbow up on the counter as he looks towards the two of you before clicking his tongue, "...he must've really given it to her good last night if she's acting like that-"

"okay, now you've ruined the moment-" namjoon frowns, his shoulders dropping slightly before he gestures to you guys, "it's sweet! this is obviously a wholesome thing-"

"call it what you want, but all i'm trying to say is that good sex makes you do crazy things-" jungkook snorts before aggressively shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, "cravy phings."

"i'd like to argue that good sex forms a strong emotional bond which explains why there are cartoon hearts currently floating around y/n's head-" namjoon perks up when he notices the way your eyes light up at something yoongi says, "look at her! look at the way she's looking at him!"

"oh, please." jungkook tuts, "that dopey look on her face is telling me that the only thing on her mind is yoongi bending her over the hood of that car and just ramming-"

"namjoon and jungkook are arguing again." you point out, turning to look towards the office just in time to see namjoon throw a handful of popcorn at jungkook only for him to open his mouth and chomp wildly at the air to get some into his mouth

"jungkook probably said something stupid, as per usual." yoongi snorts, leaning over to lock the hood of the car into place before pulling away and taking a look at the situation, "now, let's see what we have going on here..."

when namjoon told him that this was a brake master cylinder repair he immediately felt all the excitement leave his body

he hates doing brake master cylinder repairs

all the parts are so small and the handiwork is super tedious anD the last time he did one of these he took like four hours to get it done

overall it's a pretty boring repair job and as much as he wants to pass it off to one of the others to do, he knows that he's the most skilled with the internal mechanics of a car compared to everyone else which he usually likes to brag about but today he wishes that that wasn't the case

"so what do you have to do?" you frown, stepping over so that you're standing by the side of the car and you're not in yoongi's way, "all the thingies look fine to me."

"well, i actually need to replace the brake master cylinder thingy." yoongi teases, smiling lightly as he points at some kind of container, "there's a leak in the seals, which is pretty common since they wear out after a few years. it should be an easy fix! it'll just take a while, that's all."

luckily, taehyung already took care of the messy part and emptied the fluid from the reservoir for him so now it's time to start the actual repair process

"so does beeper have one of these cylinders in him?" you ask, tilting your head in curiosity

you've never actually taken a look at beeper's under the hood situation before so you wouldn't know

(it feels like he's all naked and exposed whenever yoongi lifts his hood up and you just want to give beeper some privacy, that's all.)

"if beeper didn't have one of these cylinders in him, you wouldn't be able to brake, silly." yoongi snorts, reaching down to unclip the sensor from the reservoir, "see, when you push down on the brake, it pushes a piston through the cylinder and forces hydraulic fluid through the brake lines, which goes to the slave cylinders of each wheel, and then-" he pauses when he notices you've gone all quiet and he turns to see you staring directly at him with a dopey little smile on your face "-what? what'd i say?"

"i like it when you talk shop to me." you giggle quietly, "i mean, i don't understand 98% of the words that come out of your mouth when you do, but i still like it a lot-"

"yeah?" yoongi teases, taking a hand off the edge of the car so he can gesture for you to come closer (and you do, obviously), "you like it when i talk to you about... hm, i don't know..." he feigns cluelessness as he stands up to slink an arm around your waist and bring you towards him while your arms automatically hang loosely around his neck, "how the rubbing of the brake pad against the brake disc generates friction..." he lowers his voice as he sits lightly on the edge of the car and gives your hips a squeeze

"mm, tell me more..." you play along, letting yoongi pull you closer so that you're settled nicely in between his legs

"i don't know, maybe i should save all the good stuff for the bedroom..."

you resist the urge to immediately start whining when you lean in only for yoongi to dodge your kiss, "hey, i like you in these baggy overalls, by the way." he suddenly changes the subject and you feel your cheeks flush when both his hands slide in through the gaps until he's able to grip your bum, "big, big fan of them-"

"you- namjoon and jungkook are right there-" you gawk, "at least have the decency to turn me around so they don't see you fully groping me-"

"they can always just close their eyes or something-"

"okay, you two, break it up-!" you hear namjoon's claps echoing from the office as he tries to get your attention and you immediately turn to look at him with a grin, "god, it's like you sick freaks want to rub it in our faces-"

"okay, i have to get to work so why don't you go and hang out with namjoon in the office?" yoongi stands up, being careful not to hit the top of his head on the hood, "he'll let you play chess on the computer if you ask nicely."

"i thought i was helping you out today!" you frown, grabbing onto his hand before waving it back and forth, "you said i did a good job handing you the tools and stuff. i'm getting better at not mixing all the different types of screwdrivers up!"

yoongi can't help but laugh at how needy you're being and he reaches up with his free hand to adjust his bandana

"i know you wanna help, but i promise you there's nothing exciting about repairing a master cylinder." he hums, reaching up to pinch your cheek playfully, "plus, don't you still have a huge research paper to work on?"

"yeah, but i'd much rather hang out with you..." you pout, yoongi cooing before leaning in to give your pushed-out bottom lip a little kiss

"we can hang out when we're both done with work."

"okay..." you purse your lips before letting go of his hand, "it's your loss. i'm a fantastic helper."

"mhm, you certainly are-" yoongi spins you around before pushing his palm against your lower back to get you to move, "now go and bug namjoon!"

you turn back to glance at yoongi one last time and he sweeps his hands at you to tell you to gO

fine!

it was getting hot in the garage anyway and namjoon always has the aircon blasting in the office

"sorry! only sad, single people are allowed in this area-" namjoon jokes as soon as you step in, gesturing to the office space with a grin, "leave or i'll have security escort you out."

"oh, stop it." you giggle, folding your arms up on the counter and leaning forward, "i keep telling you i'd be more than happy to set you up with one of my friends!!"

"i know, and that's very nice of you to offer, but i just want to find someone organically, you know?" namjoon sighs, leaning back against his chair before looking up at the ceiling wistfully, "being set up with someone doesn't feel like a natural process."

"namjoon thinks he's the main character of a shitty netflix romantic comedy." jungkook mutters, the two of you exchanging low giggles with each other

"well, if no one comes into your life organically you can always let me know and i'll- woah-" you jump in surprise when the sound of a roaring engine suddenly shatters the peaceful atmosphere and you turn around just in time to see a sleek car veering into the shop

you wince and raise a hand to shield your eyes from the bright headlights and you don't get a chance to make the first comment because jungkook beats you to it

(for the record, you were going to talk about how dramatic of an entrance whatever that was)

"oh my god. that is the sexiest car i've ever seen in my entire life." he breathes out, stepping away from the counter so he can stand by the door and get a closer look, "a 1965 mustang. nice."

"fun fact: i was actually thinking about getting a vintage mustang! i wanted an olive green one because i could've named her 'olive' which is super cute-" you nod enthusiastically, looking back and forth between namjoon and jungkook only for them to.,., completely ignore you and continue staring at the glossy mustang sitting out front

"okay, you guys, it's just a car-" you roll your eyes and let out a little snort of disbelief, "this isn't going to change your life or anything-"

a high-heel clad foot steps out of the car and onto the pavement and you immediately recognize the classic red-bottom louboutins

you actually own a pair of them as well but you rarely wear them out because you're always paranoid that you're going to topple over and snap an ankle and that would be completely mortifying

they're six inches tall!!!!

for the record, they look very nice sitting (collecting dust) on your shelf but now you're starting to think that it might be a good idea to wear them out again because this stranger makes it look like walking in them is easy breezy beautiful

"holy shit. is that lisa?" namjoon murmurs, reaching up to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "oh, wow. she..."

"i don't remember her looking like that the last time we saw her." jungkook whistles lowly, "hello, miss manoban."

"lisa- who's lisa?" you frown, tilting your head in curiosity as you watch this mysterious lisa toss her oversized sunglasses into the front seat of the car before slamming the door shut

"uh, she's just one of yoongi's exes- she actually used to work here but-" namjoon reaches over the counter so he can nudge you aside gently to get a better look, "when did she get a vintage mustang?!"

lisa leans down to look at herself in the side mirror, smearing some red lipstick over her pillowy bottom lip before rubbing her lips together and nodding satisfactorily

"guess her car-wrapping business really took off." jungkook hums, his eyes glued to the car

she seems to be moving in slow motion as she takes her hair down and shakes her head back and forth, the three of you tilting your heads at the same time as you watch her in awe

"car-wrapping?" you ask curiously, "she must spend a fortune on wrapping paper and giant bows-"

"no, obviously it's not actual wrapping- like-" jungkook huffs and you resist the urge to bop him over the head at how snappy he's being with you when he already knows you're clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff, "okay, you know how you said that if you ever got a g-wagon for yourself one day that you wanted to make it baby blue just like beeper and also matte? lisa could do that for you."

"oh! in that case, it might be nice to get a business card from her or something-" you make a mental note before shaking your head and turning back around to face namjoon, "hey, so, super casual, can we round back to the whole 'yoongi's ex' thing real quickly because i-"

"yoohoo, boys!" lisa whistles, grinning excitedly when she's suddenly joined by everyone outside one by one, "what, no one thought to roll out the red carpet for me?"

"c'mon, namjoon! let's go say hi to lisa and her vintage 'stang!!" jungkook grins, gesturing for namjoon to hurry before he's darting out the door, "lisa, hey!"

"yeah, okay!!" namjoon gets up from his seat so quickly that he sends his chair rolling back and smacking against the file cabinets, "oh, y/n-! if anyone calls, just send them straight to voicemail-"

"but i-" you don't get a chance to say anything before namjoon's brushing past you and dashing out the door as well

you don't know too much about lisa but obviously she's a pretty big deal around here

it'd probably be good for you to go and introduce yourself instead of awkwardly hanging out in the office by yourself

"hello, lisa. it's very nice to meet you. firm handshake." you mutter to yourself as you step out of the office and head towards the bustling group of boys, "hey, lisa! so great to meet you. firm handshake. hi, girlie-! nope, don't like that one-"

"-in town for business so i thought it'd be nice to swing by and visit my boys." you manage to catch the end of lisa's sentences as you join the boys, trying not to make any sudden movements to catch her attention

"you should've texted one of us or something!" namjoon pulls his phone out of his back pocket, "we could've ordered a pizza for lunch-"

you reach over to give the back of yoongi's jumpsuit a little tug just to get his attention and he glances over his shoulder at you before offering you a teasing smile and reaching back to wiggle his fingers against your stomach

you giggle lightly before swatting his hand away and he turns back to look at lisa

"well, i wanted to surprise you guys!" lisa chirps, tucking her clutch underneath her armpit before clapping her hands together, "i see nothing's changed around here... except for..." you feel your heart drop when she suddenly leans over and looks directly at you, "hello! i don't think we've ever met."

"oh, shoot- sorry, i should've introduced you sooner-" yoongi steps aside so that he isn't blocking you, "lisa, this is y/n! y/n, this is lisa." he smiles, gesturing towards lisa, "my girlfriend." he pauses and quickly shakes his head at his little flub-up, "i mean- lisa, this is y/n, my girlfriend-"

"he's definitely gonna pay for that later." jimin mutters, jungkook snickering before nudging at his side to get him to shut up

"it's super nice to meet you, y/n!" lisa doesn't acknowledge yoongi's error and she steps forward to get closer to you

she's practically towering over you but it's really just because of the stilettos

she turns her head to look at the boys and a second of silence goes by before they realize what she's asking of them and they all scatter in different directions

you give yoongi a look that basically screams S.O.S. and you resist the urge to burst into tears when he gives you a cheery thumbs up in return and trots off to go and do something else

okay

you'll be fine

you have nothing to be nervous about!

this is just yoongi's very hot ex who looks like a million bucks while you'e currently dressed like a giant toddler

it doesn't help that you're wearing what's commonly known as a 'baby tee' under these overalls

"you- yeah, you too-" you chuckle uneasily, giving her a weak handshake before pulling away with a smile, "i'm sorry, i'm a little underdressed-" you pause to gesture to the grubby overalls you have on, "i promise i look better than this most of the time..."

"oh, don't be silly. i just grabbed the first outfit i saw out of my suitcase and threw it on-" she sighs, reaching up to pick some lint off her blazer that you're pretty sure you saw in the most recent YSL spring catalog (in fact, you're pretty sure it's on your to-buy list), "so, what do you do?"

"me? i- uh, well, nothing, at the moment- i'm still studying for my undergraduate degree, so..." you shrug sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

for some reason you can't seem to maintain eye contact with her for more than three seconds at a time

"oh! you're still in school?"

"yeah, i- well, i'm graduating this year, so i'm almost out of school if you think about it that way- but yes. yes, i... am currently a university student, so that's what i'm doing."

"mm, cute! what are you studying?"

"history! i'm a history major and a marine biology minor." you nod, "so... the cold war and... like, sharks. something like that."

"ah, very cool."

to be honest you're not entirely sure if lisa's being sincere or not but you'll take the compliment either way

you can tell she's trying to scope you out - which is fair, because this is the first time you two are meeting and you're currently involved with someone she used to be involved with

"i'm sorry. i'm probably, like, freaking you out right now, aren't i?" lisa snorts, reaching out and placing her hand on your forearm for a split second, "i promise i'm just genuinely curious and i'm not trying to, like, interrogate you or anything. it's super nice to meet you! and honestly- i love the overalls. the little knee patches are adorable."

"oh, thank you..." you smile nervously, reaching down to glance at the mismatched patches of fabric sewn onto the knees of your overalls, "yoongi actually sewed 'em on for me! i usually wear this whenever i'm here because i'm okay with getting it dirty- i, um, i like your blazer! and your heels. and your purse- a chanel clutch is a classic!"

"ooh, someone has an eye for fashion..." lisa winks, raising her clutch and waving it slightly, "maybe after i'm done talking business with yoongi we can talk about gucci's new multicolour line-"

"oh, i have so many thoughts on gucci's new multicolour line!" you gasp, suddenly reignited with a spurt of energy, "honestly the colour scheme is very stabilo highlighters to me but we can talk about it later- i'll just be hanging out in the office, so you can find me there whenever you're ready-"

"perfect!" lisa gives you a thumbs up before pointing over to where yoongi is, "if you'll excuse me, i have to go and talk about boring things with yoongi-"

"mhm!" you watch with a smile as lisa click-clacks off towards yoongi before you spin around on your heels, giving yourself a mental pat on the back for how well you handled that interaction

lisa's actually nicer than you thought she'd be!

obviously the saying don't judge a book by its cover is very applicable here

"so... what'd you think of lisa?" namjoon joins your side before nudging you gently, "she's nice, right?"

"i like her! she seems really cool." you nod enthusiastically, pausing to glance over your shoulder to look at her from behind, "i need to ask her for tips on walking in those louboutins and how not to fall over."

"you know, i must say i'm pleasantly surprised at how you're handling this." namjoon snorts, holding back for a second to let you into the office first before he steps in behind you, "colour me impressed!"

"thank you!" you reach over to pull the lollipop jar towards you before suddenly pausing and looking back over at namjoon with a frown, "hold on a sec, what's that supposed to mean?"

"hm? oh, it's nothing." namjoon scrunches his nose, dismissing you with a flick of his wrist as he takes his seat behind the counter, "i just know that if i was in your shoes and my significant other's very attractive and very successful ex came back i would be a little antsy about it-" namjoon glances up from the computer and his eyes widen in panic when he notices that your eyes have widened in panic, "i- i mean- not that you're not very attractive and very successful- what i'm trying to say is that you have nothing to worry- you and yoongi seem like a very stable couple so-"

"do you think maybe you could tell me a bit about yoongi and lisa?" you interrupt his spiral and you feel yourself starting to get a little fidgety, "because i- i actually don't know anything about that situation-"

namjoon has a point, now that you think about it

lisa is very successful and very attractive and can walk in high heels very elegantly

and what about you?

yesterday you submitted a paper one minute before the deadline because of how much procrastinating you had done

and you haven't worn heels in forever because they just hurt so much

but lisa wouldn't complain about her feet hurting in high heels

lisa could have a hundred blisters and still walk into the room with a beautiful, red-lipped smile

"has he never told you about her?" namjoon frowns, "i feel like every couple should at least have one conversation about their past relationships."

"i think he tried to one time, but i- i dunno, you can't blame me for not wanting to sit there and listen to yoongi talking about all the girls he's been with, so i just changed the subject..." you mutter, pushing the jar away from you after pulling a strawberry lollipop out, "kind of regretting that decision now."

it's not like you have a reason to be insecure or anything, right?

your relationship with yoongi is very solid and there are certainly no trust issues or communication issues or anything of the sort

...

but he is your first boyfriend...,., and this is your first serious relationship which means you've had no prior experiences to learn from which means you're just going with the flow most of the time.,., so is it possible that you're being a little naïve right now?

"still, i don't think me telling you all the details of their relationship is a good idea because i feel like this is a conversation you should be having with yoongi-" namjoon chuckles nervously, leaning back against his chair before tucking a pencil behind his ear, "sorry, kiddo. i'm not trying to stir the pot here."

"i- oh, c'mon, joon- what's it gonna take, huh?" you reach into the front pocket of your overalls before subtly flashing a folded up hundred dollar bill, pursing your lips slightly as your eyes flicker back and forth between namjoon and your chest-money, "hm??"

"first of all, it's very concerning to me that you stash loose cash in your pocket like that. second of all, are you really trying to bribe me into telling you about yoongi and lisa?" namjoon asks incredulously

"what?! no!" you scoff, tucking the bill back into your pocket before pausing and raising an eyebrow, "...is it working?"

"no! in fact, i find it offensive that you think i'd be so easily swayed-"

"the next time i bring sushi for lunch, i'll get you your own mango shrimp tempura roll." you offer, namjoon staring at you blankly before he suddenly springs into action

"so, they used to sleep together, obviously." he clears his throat, "when lisa started working here, i kind of expected her to get involved with one of us and unsurprisingly it was yoongi, because... well, it's yoongi- i'm pretty sure it was a friends with benefits kind of thing because i remember asking him about it and he said they didn't want to put a label on it? and then at one point jimin asked lisa about it because all of us were super curious and she called it a 'situationship'... which, personally, i think is a pretty cheesy label- i dunno, they'd go out to dinners sometimes and occasionally they'd come into work together in the morning because- well, you know- uh, they were in this 'situationship' for... maybe, like, eight months? and then lisa got an opportunity to work elsewhere and she took it and they decided to call it off and fast forward to now... here we are!" namjoon claps his hands together before pressing his palm over his heart, "and i promise you that's all the information i have- well, maybe this piece of information might be useful to you: they were, like, super horny for each other all the time. like, almost outrageously horny, which i think is one of the downfalls of the relationship because you can't base a solid relationship off of animalistic sex, right? ooh, there was one time i caught them in yoongi's office and lisa was-"

"okay, i think that's enough-!" you hold a hand out to shut namjoon up and he shrugs before leaning back against his chair, "more than enough, actually-"

you weren't expecting to learn about the raw, animalistic sex yoongi had with lisa, but then again, you weren't expecting to even meet lisa at all

oh, god

should you be nervous??

you shouldn't be nervous, right??

...yeah, you're being ridiculous!

yoongi has been with other girls before and that shouldn't bother you because you didn't exist then

this has nothing to do with you!

so what if he bent her over the office table and-

okay, maybe it's time to stop thinking about this because the point is: you're fine. don't worry. everything is normal. yoongi is your boyfriend. lisa is his ex. everything is great!

"by the way, i want you to know that you honestly have nothing to worry about." namjoon suddenly chimes in as if he can read your mind, "lisa was yoongi's past but you are his present and most likely his future as well, so- seriously, don't even worry about it."

"yeah, you're right. it'd be silly of me to be upset about yoongi being with someone else when i wasn't even in the picture yet." you snort, reaching up to smack your own forehead gently, "okay! i'm feeling a little better. it would've been nice to not be informed about how horny they were for each other, but thank you for that detail-"

"yo, where are the snap ring pliers from my toolbox?" you turn just in time to see yoongi pop his head in, "i can't find them anywhere... i swear to god, everyone keeps borrowing my tools and 'forgetting' to put them back-" he rolls his eyes before looking over at you with a smile, "hi, baby-"

"hi yoongi-" you giggle, all your doubts and insecurities immediately fluttering away

see? nothing to worry about!

phEw

it feels like a weight's been lifted off your shoulders

"i think hoseok might've been using them earlier this morning." namjoon hums, "what do you need them for?"

"oh, lisa offered to help me out with the master cylinder repair and she needs 'em." yoongi points back over his shoulder, "you know how great she is with her hands-"

"woah, i thought-" your voice cracks slightly and you clear your throat, "i thought, uh- you were working on it yourself? like, i thought you didn't need any help and that's why i'm in here-"

"oh, i don't, but- well, lisa's good with fine-tuning so i might as well take advantage of her expertise while she's here." yoongi snorts before looking back over at namjoon, "you said hoseok had them?"

"yep!"

you bite down on your tongue to keep yourself from commenting any further

it's fine!

as we've already established, you have nothing to worry about.

...right?

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

"and... voilà!" you smile satisfactorily to yourself after you set the scented candle down on the coffee table

the living room is going to smell like warm brown sugar and cinnamon in a few minutes and you can't wait

this is yoongi's favourite candle so you hope he'll be excited about that when he gets here :'))

you've been preparing the apartment for his arrival and lighting the candle was one of the last things on your to-do list

you still have to order dinner for tonight and you've always been awful at making decisions so you figured it'd be best to let yoongi choose instead

you haven't seen him for about a week and a half because of finals (and, being perfectly honest, you were the one who implemented this distancing rule in the first place because you know you won't be able to focus on studying when yoongi's in the apartment with you) so you're pretty pumped for tonight!!

you hum to yourself as you click on yoongi's phone number in your contacts, flopping back on the couch with a fwump! while your legs swing lazily over the arm

"hello?"

the phone picks up after a couple of rings and it takes you a second to realize that the voice on the other end certainly does not belong to your boyfriend

"he-" you pause, pulling your phone away from your ear and frowning at the unfamiliar voice before bringing it back, "um, hello?"

"hi! who's this?"

"who's this?" you point to yourself before scoffing lightly, "what do you mean who- who's this?"

"oh- oh, y/n! hey, it's lisa!" lisa greets enthusiastically and you relax a little knowing that it's just lisa, "sorry, i didn't look at the contact name before picking up- what's up?"

"well, i-" you pause again to recollect your thoughts, "um, sorry, i guess i was just expecting yoongi to pick up his own phone so i'm a little lost right now-"

"oh my gosh, don't even worry about it! yoongi's hands are super gross right now so i offered to take his call for him which is why i picked up the phone. is there something you wanted me to pass along to him?"

"yeah, you could pass his phone right along to him-" you joke before reminding yourself to keep the unnecessary cattiness to a minimum, "yeah, um- can you ask him what time he's coming over? so that i know what time to order our food and stuff? i want the food to still be nice and hot by the time he gets here, so i just need a time from him, that's all-"

"yeah, about that... i actually don't think yoongi's going to make it for dinner."

"i-" you frown, pushing yourself up so that you're leaning back against an elbow, "what? why not?"

"the thing is, i hooked him up with a bunch of clients so the poor thing's been working like a dog all day and it looks like he's going to be stuck here for a while... if you're worried about him skipping dinner, i can totally go and get some food for him if you want! there's this sandwich place a block away and i know what he likes-"

your eyes widen slightly at how... happy? lisa sounds about the fact that yoongi potentially won't be joining you for dinner and you nod to yourself as you clench your jaw

"that's- that's very kind of you, lisa-" your voice is a little pitchier than usual at this point and you clear your throat obnoxiously, "i'm sorry, i just really have to talk to yoongi for a second so if you could just, like, hold the phone up to his ear that would be okay too-"

"okay! gimme a sec." there's a bit of shuffling on the other end and you press your lips together as you wait (im)patiently, "yoongs! it's y/n... dinner... hot food... her place... clients... pretty busy tonight..."

and she even has a nickname for him

that's just downright adorable, isn't it?

"god, just give him the damn phone." you mutter under your breath, raising your other hand to inspect your cuticles as you lie back down on the couch

hm

you should probably schedule another manicure soon

"-it's okay, i can hold the phone myself- y/n?" you perk up when you hear yoongi on the other end and you can't help but kick your legs in excitement

you can't help it!!!

you haven't heard his voice in a whole week and a half!!!

"greetings, yoongs." you tease, "what time are you going to be here?" you bypass lisa's whole monologue about yoongi probably not being able to come over tonight in hopes that she'll be wrong about him ditching you to continue working, "i wanna order the food so it'll get here a little before you arrive. also, i haven't chosen what we're going to eat tonight so you're going to have to choose for us-"

"right, about that-" yoongi clears his throat, "i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before..." he pauses and you hear the sound of loud clanging in the background, "you understand, don't you?"

it takes you a couple of seconds to process the fact that yoongi really won't be coming over tonight and you puff your cheeks out to keep yourself from immediately whining in protest

to say the least, you are.,.,,. very disappointed,.., but!! it won't be the end of the world, right?

you hate that lisa was right, but that's a conversation you can have with yourself another time

and if yoongi won't be here, that means you can hog all the garlic cheesy bread to yourself so maybe this is a blessing in disguise >:-)

"no, yeah, i- yeah, get it!" you nod, "i love that business is booming, i just don't love that you didn't text me or call me earlier to let me know you weren't going to come over tonight," you frown, turning your head to look at the flickering candle, "a heads up would've been nice, that's all..."

"i asked lisa to text you earlier when my hands were full... sorry, she must've forgot..."

"oh. yeah, i guess it could've slipped her mind." you respond dryly, "it would've taken, like, five seconds to text me-"

"okay, i-" you hear yoongi let out a small sigh before he speaks up again, "i'm sorry, baby, i really am- do you- i can come over now if you want me t-"

"no, it's okay! i'm sorry, i'm just-" you shake your head quickly before chuckling uneasily, "i just haven't seen you in a while so i miss you, that's all- but i'll let you get back to work now and i'll see you later?"

"yes! you are the best, you really are- look, i promise i'll be all yours as soon as i-"

"yoongi! these tires aren't going to change themselves, silly-"

"oh, c'mon-" you grumble, your teeth grinding slightly at the interruption of lisa's peppy voice in the background

"uh- yeah, in a sec-! i gotta go, doll- i'll call you later-"

"okay, b-" you don't get a chance to even say goodbye before the line goes dead and the only thing you can hear is an obnoxious beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- "-ye."

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

one of your goals for the new year was to try your best to not hold a grudge

admittedly, holding grudges is one of your specialties so it's been a little bit difficult but you think you've been doing an okay job so far!

like that time jungkook accidentally drowned you with dirty car water because he didn't see you and also he had headphones on so he couldn't hear you

you were ready to strangle him right then and there but you just took a deep breath and reminded yourself that *~deep-cleaning services exist~*

and sure, you were a little upset that yoongi couldn't make it for dinner the other night and that the two of you haven't really had a chance to have a moment alone because of how swamped he's been with work, but... well, the past is in the past and challenges like this are good for your personal growth!

plus, it's the start of a new week so you're just going to focus on the present

you try your best to keep your footsteps as quiet as possible as you approach a preoccupied yoongi from behind

he's currently sorting out all the things to do on his giant whiteboard (you bought this for the boys because you thought it'd be a good way to organize all their tasks and unsurprisingly, namjoon was the most excited about it)

"guess who?" you hold your hands over yoongi's eyes with a giddy smile and he immediately spins around to face you

"hey, what are you doing here?" yoongi asks, leaning down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away to check the time on his watch, "aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

"my history seminar was cancelled because my professor had some kind of an emergency so i thought i'd come and have lunch with you guys!" you hum, reaching over to fix the thin silver chain hanging around yoongi's neck, "i was going to pick the food up before coming here but i didn't want to just choose for everyone so i thought it'd be better to get everyone's orders first-"

"oh, you don't have to do that, baby-" yoongi shakes his head, capping the marker and dropping it back into the wire holder, "lisa actually offered to treat us to lunch- apparently there's some bagel place that has, like, a hundred different fillings-"

"lisa's here?" you interrupt, suddenly straightening your back before looking around quickly, "i... was not aware that lisa was... still here! i thought she was only here for a little while-"

"mm, she ended up extending her stay! one of her clients pushed their appointment to thursday so she came over to help out for the day."

"oh, cool." you nod, pressing your lips together as you take a second to sort through your thoughts

your nose scrunches slightly as you weigh the pros and cons of saying what you're about to say to yoongi

...

it won't kill you to ask, right?

"hey, i don't wanna, um-" you pause, "you know, i don't wanna... be that girlfriend, but... do you think that there's a slight possibility that lisa might still have feelings for you?"

a moment of silence goes by before yoongi practically barks out a laugh of disbelief

"what? lisa? no, no- that- no, don't be ridiculous." he snorts, shaking his head before turning back around to face the whiteboard, "lisa most certainly does not still have feelings for me- and, by the way, she was the one who broke things off with me, so if anything, i should be the one who still has feelings for-" he stops himself midway and presses his lips together before turning to glance at you over his shoulder, "you know, i'm hearing the words coming out of my mouth and i... am going to shut up now."

"mm, good choice." you raise a brow before shrugging, "alright, well, i just- you know, it's a possibility but if you say that lisa doesn't still have feelings for you, then i believe you-"

"alright, boys! it's chow time!"

you turn your head to see lisa waltzing into the shop carrying two large paper bags and the rest of the boys immediately rush over to her like moths to a flame

she brought bagels for lunch?

you're not trying to be biased or anything sandwiches are easier to eat, in your personal opinion

you basically have to unhinge your jaw to get a good bite of a bagel

"y/n!" lisa looks more than surprised at your presence when you and yoongi walk over the join the group, "i wasn't aware you were going to be here today- yoongi told me that you had class so i-" she pauses to set the bags down on the table, "oh my goodness, i am so sorry but i really didn't know you'd be joining us for lunch... yoongi, you could've texted me or something-"

"she just got here!" yoongi shrugs as he takes a seat at the table, "don't pin this on me-"

"ah, i probably look like such a jerk right now..." lisa winces, scratching the back of her head before reaching down to grab a bagel out of one of the paper bags, "here! you can take my bagel-"

"no, no, it's alright!" you hold your hands out before shaking them, "don't be silly, you don't have to do that- it's very nice of you to offer but i- it's alright, you go ahead and enjoy yourself!"

"oh, stop- take the bagel, y/n." lisa scoffs playfully, practically shoving the bagel into your arms before rummaging through the bags again, "i'll just share a bagel with yoongi! you don't mind, right, yoongs?"

"yeah, i had a snack earlier so i'm not, like, starving or anything-" yoongi nods, "what kind of filling is it?"

"this one is..." lisa pauses to look at the sticker on the top, "smoked salmon and dill cream cheese with capers."

"yoongi doesn't like capers." you chime in, suddenly feeling the need to prove to everyone that you know your boyfriend very well, "i remember they were sprinkled in a salad one time and he said they were too salty-"

"eh, i'll survive. i can always just pick 'em out." yoongi shrugs nonchalantly and you can't help but purse your lips in mild frustration at his response

"'atta boy! luckily, they're already sliced in half otherwise we'd have to take turns taking bites which would be weird-"

"agreed." you mutter, peeling the label off your bagel and sticking it onto the side instead

"oh, lisa! i was wondering if maybe you could help me out with some custom headlights i'm working on?" hoseok perks up, "i'm having some trouble getting the halo lights to work and i need your magic hands-"

"mhm! i can definitely check them out after lunch-" lisa grins, taking a seat next to yoongi, "anyone need a napkin?"

"yes, please!"

"i need one too-"

"pass one over here-"

you know it's silly of you to be feeling jealous over this because god knows the only thing you know about cars is that key go in and car go vroom so obviously the boys would never ask you to help them out with anything like how they're asking lisa to help out

and you're trying very hard to noT throw a self-pity party but it's getting harder and harder to not to that

(and it certainly doesn't help that there aren't any more seats left at the table)

you just can't help but feel so!!!!! inferior!!!!! compared to lisa

she's so cool and pretty and witty and obviously very knowledgable about cars

and what are you bringing to the table??

ham and cheese sandwiches??? fancy sushi rolls????

obviously not anymore because they've been replaced by these stupid bagels

this is the first time you haven't been able to throw money at a problem and you're not,.., sure.,., how you feel about it,..,

"i, uh, have to work on a paper, so i think i'm going to go and eat this in the office if anyone wants to come with?" you clear your throat quietly as you start to back away from the table slowly, "...or i can just go fuck myself, which is fine too."

you're not entirely surprised when your comment isn't acknowledged by anyone and you nod to yourself before swiftly turning on your heel and trying your best not to storm towards the office

you force your fists to uncurl and your shoulders to relax slightly but you can't help but make a face when you hear the boys laughing obnoxiously at one of lisa's jokes

of course she has to be funny as well

because the woman literally has zero flaws

you've been trying to find a reason to hate her and so far you haven't found anything negative to say

hating someone for having perfectly styled hair is a little odd

the legs of the chair screech against the floor as you pull it out and plop down

whatever

you like eating alone anyway

you unwrap the parchment paper and pick up the bagel before taking an overly aggressive bite of it, your cheeks practically bursting from how much food is currently in your mouth

you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as you chew, tossing the bagel back onto the wrapper with a thunk!

...

damnit!

this is the best goddamn bagel you've ever had in your entire life!!

"phtupid phriggin' bavhel." you grumble, reaching up to wipe the sauce off the corner of your mouth before swallowing roughly, "even the mayo is delicious! god, what is this? some kind of garlic mayo-"

"oh my god. i think she's finally lost it." you jolt upon hearing jungkook's voice and you turn to see him and jimin standing at the door

"what's your problem?" jimin asks, the two of them walking over to join you at your sad, lonely table

"what? nothing. i don't have a problem." you shake your head stubbornly, "i just- i just wanted to be alone, that doesn't mean something's wrong-"

"is that why you're in here basically yelling at a bagel?" jungkook points out as he pulls out a chair and sits on your right

"i'm- i'm just stressed about- my paper. or whatever. it's whatever, i'm fine-"

"you can talk to us, you know." you frown when jungkook suddenly reaches over and in an uncharacteristic move, places both hands over yours

"is it about lisa?" jimin asks, crinkling his nose as he sits down as well, "it's about lisa, isn't it?"

"no, it's not-" you press your lips together before letting out a light laugh, "you know, i don't even have a reason to be upset about lisa, right? she's super cool and very nice and knows a lot about cars and is yoongi's age and namjoon blessed me with the knowledge that she, apparently, was a very passionate lover- so i have nothing to be upset about!" you snap, slapping your palm down on the table before wincing and cradling your hand to your chest, "...everything is fine."

"i have to say, i really don't think jealousy is a good look on you." jungkook clicks his tongue before glancing down at your feet, "i also don't know if those shoes are a good look on you- jeez, it's like the people at gucci are just pulling design elements out of a hat-"

"you are not making me feel any better, jungkook- these shoes are new!"

"ooh, you should make him jealous!" jungkook suddenly lights up and the fluorescent light hanging above you guys flickers for a second

"we're going to have to round back to my shoes later because i really don't think they're that bad-"

"you should make him jealous and give him a taste of his own medicine..." jungkook trails off, ignoring your previous comments once again, "it's what you deserve."

"i'm not- i'm not doing that." you chuckle uneasily, "are you serious? this isn't high school and getting him back would just be petty of me-"

"but it'd feel so nice to be petty, don't you think?" jungkook encourages, scooting a little closer to you with a devilish grin, "think about it, y/n. don't you wanna see yoongi get all hot and possessive over you-"

"i don't think it's a good idea." jimin chimes in, shaking his head quickly as he moves in closer as well, "because if yoongi finds out you orchestrated something just to get him back, that might create an issue of trust in the relationship, and that would be very, very bad-"

"oh, but it feels so good to be bad..." jungkook coos, poking your arm with his pointer finger, "so, so good..."

"uh, i don't think so! i'd like to argue that it feels bad to be bad-"

"don't listen to jimin, he's a wuss-"

"don't listen to jungkook, he's an idiot-!"

"okay, cut it out!" you snap, shoving your hands into both their chests to keep them from coming any closer, "i... must admit, i do want to do something to piss yoongi off because of how much he's pissed me off, but... i'm not like that, you know? and i don't want to come off as some crazy girlfriend because-" you pause when you notice jungkook's finger creeping closer and closer to your bagel and you immediately deflate as soon as you realize what's going on here, "oh my god. you guys only came in here because you wanted to try my bagel, didn't you?"

jungkook and jimin exchange knowing glances before looking up at you sheepishly

"yeah, that makes more sense-" you snort, rolling your eyes before pushing the bagel away from you, "have at it, you animals."

you lean back against your chair, stroking your chin in thought as the sound of jungkook and jimin bickering over who gets the bigger half of the bagel starts to fade out

to be petty or not to be petty, that is the question...

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

(spoiler alert: the answer to the previous question is to be petty. very, very petty.) »»————- 🛠️ ————-««

"namjoon! where did you put my keys??" yoongi calls out, yanking open another drawer to rifle through its contents, "i'm supposed to pick y/n up from campus and i can't find them anywhere... i don't want her to just stand there waiting for me..."

"looking for these?"

yoongi looks up to see lisa standing by the door with his keys in her hand before she tosses them to him

"yes! you're a lifesaver, thanks-" he catches them with one hand before stepping out from behind the counter, "i thought you were leaving today? we already said goodbye to you this morning-"

"yeah, i know-" lisa chuckles as she steps into the office, "it's just that... well, i was going to just leave but i actually had something i needed to talk to you about before i left. i felt it wouldn't be fair to either one of us if i didn't say anything."

"mm. what's up?" yoongi hums, sticking his hand into the lollipop jar to pull a cherry flavoured one out

he pulls another one out before tucking it into his pocket (one for you when he picks you up!)

"well, i guess i should just go ahead and say it- just gotta rip the bandaid off-" lisa straightens her blazer before clearing her throat, "yes."

"...yes?" yoongi frowns, unwrapping his lollipop before popping it into his mouth and scrunching up the wrapper, "i'm not following. yes to what?"

"oh, don't play dumb-" lisa snorts, flicking her wrist at him, "yes, as in: i would love to rekindle our friends with benefits situationship-"

"woah, what?!" yoongi immediately chokes and he yanks the lollipop out of his mouth before patting his chest roughly, "what are you- what the hell are you talking about??"

"what do you mean what the hell am i talking about??" lisa stares at him incredulously before shaking her head, "you're the one who's been giving me secret signals all week-"

"signals-" yoongi's gawks, "what signals??"

"you know, like, how you cancelled dinner plans with her so you could be with me..." lisa croons, taking a step closer towards him

"i cancelled dinner plans with y/n so i could be with twenty cars-" yoongi inches to the side so he can make a quick getaway to run behind the counter in case lisa pounces, "which, i'm realizing doesn't make me sound like the best boyfriend but- i most certainly didn't cancel just to spend private time with you, no offence-"

"what about when we shared a bagel and you didn't complain about the capers??" lisa snaps, lunging towards yoongi only for him to quickly spin out of the way and hurry to get behind the counter

"uh, we shared a bagel because i wasn't hungry for a full bagel and i thought you weren't either, and also-" yoongi grabs namjoon's wheely chair as a makeshift barrier between him and lisa, "i'm a grown man, i'm not going to throw a fit over some friggin' capers-"

"how about when i squeezed your arm and asked you if you'd been working out and you totally flexed your arm for me??" lisa grabs the arms of the chair before yanking and aggressively rolling it behind her, yoongi's eyes widening in panic at the sudden empty space in between the two of them

"i flexed it to prove to you that i have indeed been working out-!" yoongi hops up onto the counter as soon as lisa darts towards him and he hurries to jump off so he's on the other side of it, knocking the phone and namjoon's pen holder down onto the ground in the process, "friends can ask each other if they've been hitting the gym!! i squeeze namjoon's arms all the time because his biceps are literally boulders-"

"i just feel like we have unfinished business, you know?" lisa whines, pausing for a second before bringing a hand up to bite down on the tip of her pointer finger teasingly, "plus, you have to admit that our sex was super hot-"

"are you- hello, i'm dating y/n!" yoongi gasps, "our business is finished! we have no more- we're out of business, lisa!"

"oh, c'mon." lisa raises a brow, clearly unimpressed with his reaction, "it's not going to hurt anyone to keep me as your sexy little secret- it's perfect! i only come into town, like, once or twice a year, so she won't even suspect anythi-"

"what are you- are you insane?! i'm not going to cheat on y/n-" yoongi chokes before raising his hands in defence, "lisa, you're a very beautiful woman and we do have a history, but- look, i'm sorry if i sent you mixed signals this week, that was certainly not my intention- please understand that i am very much not trying to cheat on someone who i love very much and who i'm pretty sure loves me back, so-"

"then who's that person she's so obviously flirting with right now?" lisa points over his shoulder, "also, she's barely visited you this week. what kind of girlfriend doesn't want to always be with her boyfriend??"

"first of all, space can be healthy, and second of all, she- hold on, you said flirting?" yoongi turns to look over his shoulder and out the door, tilting his head slightly when he sees you standing at the front of the garage laughing with... someone he certainly doesn't recognize...

"you can leave all of this behind and come and work for me, yoongi-" yoongi jumps when he suddenly feels hands grasping at the collar of his jumpsuit and he turns back to see lisa standing right in front of him (how did she move so quickly and quietly?!), "we can be happy together, i swear-"

"yeah, cool, just give me a second-" yoongi gently yanks lisa's hands off of him before hurrying out of the office and making a beeline right for you and this mysterious stranger

"oop- okay, he's coming this way-" baekhyun mutters, glancing over your shoulder before looking back at you, "it's show time. you ready?" he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

"what do you think? do we look convincing?" you reach down to unbutton another button on your blouse before adjusting the collar

it's taking everything within you noT to whip around to see if yoongi's just walking towards you or if he's storming towards you... because there's definitely a difference and you definitely want it to be the latter

the plan you came up with had a pretty simple formula: one handsome stranger + one flirty, oblivious y/n = one jealous yoongi

jungkook had a point about how nice it'd be to get yoongi all riled up and possessive and frankly you think you deserve it considering how dismissive he's been with you all week... which is why you were more than happy to recruit your very handsome friend baekhyun (he's very sweet / you met last semester in one of your history courses / he was more than willing to help out with your plan because he's a theatre major and this is good practice for him) to help you out with your plan!

"you're laughing like a robot." baekhyun lowers his voice, "i told you to act natural-"

"i'm being natural! ha, ha! ha! ha-ha. you're so funny, baek-" you giggle obnoxiously, reaching over to slap his chest gently, "you are absolutely the funniest person i've ever met-"

"y/n!" yoongi clears his throat loudly and you bite back a grin at the hint of annoyance you can detect in his voice, "i... thought i was picking you up from class today? i wasn't aware you hired a chauffeur!"

"oh, yoongi!" you spin around, feigning surprise as if you totally weren't expecting to see him at all, "oh, this is actually my friend- i know you've been busy so he offered to give me a ride!" you hum, stepping aside to let baekhyun step up onto the sidewalk, "baekhyun, this is yoongi-" you gesture to yoongi, "yoongi, this is baekhyun! ...my boyfriend."

you're hoping your accidental on-purpose flub-up triggers yoongi's memory of how he accidentally introduced lisa to you as his girlfriend and you're delighted to see the way yoongi's jaw drops slightly, "oh, my bad! i'm sorry, i don't know how that happened- what i meant to say was baekhyun, this is yoongi, my boyfriend. there we go."

"baekhyun..." yoongi repeats, his eyes narrowing slightly when baekhyun suddenly wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a squeeze "well, that's very nice of you to drive y/n all the way here. thanks for doing that, man."

"oh, it's no problem at all!" baekhyun hums, reaching over to pinch your cheek, "y/n's the sweetest and i didn't want to abandon her on campus-"

"okay, she wasn't abandoned, i was literally about to leave to pick her up-" yoongi points out, lifting his keys with a jingle before abruptly shoving them into his back pocket, "you know, y/n's never mentioned a baekhyun before. you two seem... close!"

"oh, baek and i go way back." you snort, digging your elbow into his side with a grin, "isn't that right, baek?"

baek

yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek at the fact that baekhyun still has his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you haven't made a move to shoVE it off

how can you not see that his intentions with you aren't just chummy??

he wouldn't have driven you all the way here if he didn't want to get his grubby hands under your skirt-

"we most certainly do! we made some great memories in that lecture hall- i have to say, i was, uh, pretty disappointed when i found out she was already in a relationship..." baekhyun sighs dramatically, shaking his head before looking back at you, "i would treat you right and never cancel dinner plans with you-"

"okay, i think it's time for you to go, bacon-" yoongi forces a smile on his face before reaching over to gently pull you towards him, "thank you for dropping my girlfriend off. have a good one."

"oh, no problem!" baekhyun points towards you, "hey, lemme know if you need a ride to campus on monday because i'd be happy to swing by your apartment and-"

"no, i can take her!" yoongi manoeuvres you so that you're standing behind him and basically blocked from baekhyun's sight, "i've got it from here, thanks."

"bye, baek!" you wave at baekhyun as gets into his car and he salutes at you before his right eye drops in a cheeky wink and it's at that point that yoongi really thinks he's about to lose it

what the hell was that?!

he spins around to face you as soon as baekhyun zooms off and you keep yourself from asking him why his ears have suddenly turned super red

"why are you wearing lowbuttons to class?" yoongi crosses his arms over his chest, "i thought you said you were going to use them as, like, apartment decoration."

"louboutins, yoongi." you correct, looking down at your slick stilettos, "and why can't i wear louboutins to class?"

"you wore them out to dinner one time and i ended up having to carry you back to the car because your feet were aching-" yoongi reminds you with a pointed tone, "are you telling me that you walked up and down and all around campus in those things?"

"maybe i did." you shrug, turning to stick your nose up in the air a little, "i can wear stilettos to class if i so please."

"and the miniskirt?"

"what, you don't like it?" you pout, reaching down to pick a piece of fluff off the surface, "it's new!"

it's a plain black skirt but it has a little slit on the side and you purposely bought this specific piece knowing that yoongi has expressed how much he likes you in black

"of course i like it, and obviously i'm a big fan of the heels but-" yoongi huffs, "all i'm saying is that it's a little odd- the timing is weird for your miniskirts and heels to make a sudden comeback now that you're all buddy-buddy with this backyawn-"

"it's baekhyun-"

"that's what i said!"

"you know, i don't know what you're implying here but i haven't done anything wrong-" you shrug, "are you feeling okay? maybe you need to take a nap-"

"stop being stubborn, y/n. just tell me what's going on!"

"nothing's going on!" you insist, raising your hands in defense before flicking a strand of hair over your shoulder, "everything is perfectly fine and nothing is-"

"are you leaving me for baekhyun?" yoongi interrupts, his eyes suddenly softening, "because if this is how you're telling me we're over, it's a pretty shitty-"

"what- what?? no!" you shake your head quickly, "no, of course i'm not- why would you even- okay, fine! fine, i-" you let out a breath and your shoulders drop a little, "it's just that... i don't know, it kind of feels like i've been fighting to get your attention for the whole week and i... i feel like i shouldn't have to do that as your girlfriend, you know? and i'm not... i guess i just felt like i wasn't stacking up to lisa and how cool and smart she is and- this whole week it's just felt like you're in a relationship with lisa and not me, so i... wanted to make you jealous to see if you still cared. or whatever."

"are you serious?" yoongi's eyes flutter shut and he reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, "fuck, i'm sorry, ah- i'm sorry, y/n, i really am-" his brows knit together in remorse as he looks at you, "i think i just got swept up in all the new clients she was bringing in so i was focusing more on that than on noticing what was going on with you... i'm sorry. why didn't you just come and talk to me about it?"

"i didn't know how." you mutter, reaching up to scratch the side of your head, "i've never had to deal with something like this before, so... i know it was silly of me to come up with this whole thing-"

"you are my girlfriend, y/n." yoongi reminds you, his voice softening, "not lisa. it's you." he reaches over to hook a finger under your chin so he can get you to look at him, "i promise i only have eyes for you, pretty girl. you still love me?"

"god, yoongi-" you feel your cheeks flush at the nickname and you roll your eyes playfully before turning your head, "yeah. duh."

"oh, you silly thing..." he tuts, pulling you in for a hug and propping his chin up on the top of your head, "i'm sorry, baby. i really didn't mean to make you feel like that..." he pulls away and reaches down to glide his finger down the bridge of your nose before poking the tip, "i hope you can forgive me for being a shitty boyfriend."

"i'll forgive you if you forgive me for pretending to flirt with someone else." you smile sheepishly, yoongi grinning before nodding in agreement

"deal." he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head back towards the direction of the office, "so you really went through all that trouble just to make me a little jealous?" yoongi grins, "just for a little bit of attention? as if i'm not already all over you when we're alone-"

"well, it worked, didn't it?" you take your bottom lip in between your teeth as you squish your cheek against yoongi's shoulder and look up at him, "my acting skills are not half bad, if i do say so myself-"

"oh, shit, uh-" yoongi suddenly stops in his tracks when he sees lisa step out of the office and he spins around so that his back is facing her, "not to make you worry, but you should probably know that lisa's somehow convinced that i've been secretly flirting with her all week because i want to become friends with benefits again and she almost, like, body-slammed me in the office- also, if namjoon asks, tell him a raccoon snuck in and that's why his desk is a mess and his pens are all over the floor-"

"wait, what?!" your brows knit together and you're about to lean over to look at lisa but yoongi quickly reaches out and grabs onto your shoulders to keep you in place

"-yeah, so i'm going to lay you down on the hood of that car now because doing something extreme is probably the only thing that'll prove to her that she's wrong and i am very desperate to show her that she's wrong-"

"lay me down on the- and do what?! yoongi-!" you don't get much of a chance to say anything else before yoongi's suddenly bending down to pick you up off the ground in one swift movement, his fingers digging underneath your thighs as he lays you down on the hood of the nearest car, "yoongi-! you can't just-"

"shush!" yoongi hisses, pressing his lips against yours to shut you up promptly

"mmvph-"

it doesn't take you very long to melt into the kiss once you realize you haven't kissed yoongi like this in like a week and a half and you can't help but smile at the familiar faint taste of cherry you're getting from him

yoongi's warm hand slides down from your waist so he can hitch your left leg up against his hip, one of your heels slipping from your foot and clattering onto the floor

your senses are so clouded with yoongi cherry yoongi cherry that you nearly forget the two of you aren't alone (and also, all of this is definitely being recorded on the security cameras right now)

"hey, so- i- i'm gonna get going-" lisa announces loudly as she stands at a good distance away from the two of you, her eyes looking up towards the ceiling so that she doesn't have to watch the way yoongi's kissing down your neck, "i have to check out of my hotel, so-"

"yeah, sounds good!" yoongi pulls away for a second and shoots a quick thumbs up over his shoulder, "see you later, pal!"

"bye, lisa!" you chime in, giving her a wave even though she isn't looking at you and is really trying to double-time it to her car, "it was so nice meeting you!"

the two of you watch silently as lisa practically leaps into her mustang, the sound of the engine revving before she quickly speeds off like she just remembered she left the oven on at home

you turn your head to look up at yoongi before scoffing lightly, hooking a finger against his chain to pull him back down towards you, "you're ridiculous, you know that?"

"yeah, i know-" yoongi's nose crinkles before he offers you a boyish smirk and a half-hearted shrug, "you love it, though."

🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!) ✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!) 💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles like this one!) 🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)

belated love letter - k.nj.

genre: angst (2.5k)

summary: a love letter that he’s been writing only gets delivered, because namjoon has a lot to say even after you’ve broken up.

a/n: i made myself cry with this one.

masterlist

namjoon, a person who seemingly has answers to everything, never got the answer as to why you both drifted off.

did you both grow out of love? no, it was evident in the quivering lips and glassy eyes when you saw each other for the last time that love indeed still persisted between you two.

did you grow out of each other? no, namjoon still strongly believes that you’re the most fascinating person he’s met and he remembers how you found his mind to be the brightest of them all.

maybe the love became too much at some point. maybe love just wasn’t enough.

he’ll never know.

but something went wrong.

and it went wrong very quickly, so quickly that namjoon couldn’t even give you the one thing he promised you he would.

a love letter.

“you know, for a world-renowned lyricist, and as that lyricist’s girlfriend, i’ve never gotten a letter from you” you teased him one rainy day and he remembers the breathless chuckle that left his lips.

“do you want one?” he fiddled with your fingers that were held in his hand.

“a letter from the kim namjoon? there’s nothing else i want more” and even as the sky crackled behind the windows, and rain continuously beat them, you both could only look at each other. you looked at each other like ‘damn the rest of the world, i only have eyes for you’.

and that’s when namjoon decided that he was going to write you a letter alright, he was going to write you the best letter ever.

namjoon stared blankly at the words scribbled on the page, frowning every so often, his words were, to put it in one way, powerful. he didn’t know he was capable of feeling such strong emotions but he did know that you brought out the best in him. and the best of him was spilled on this one page that was still half empty.

namjoon felt just as empty.

he wasn’t near breaking down or crying himself to sleep, but namjoon wasn’t happy, he couldn’t deny this hollowness in his chest that’s been lingering for days now and he doesn’t need anyone else to tell him that it was because of you, he knows it. namjoon knows it all except, like mentioned before, why you both ended it but it was an unwritten realization, that it was for the best.

another thing namjoon doesn’t know is why he grabs his favorite pen, the pen he uses to write his famous lyrics, he got a new one for the album they’re working on now and starts filling in the empty space, almost feeling like he was filling himself with the emotions that he misses so dearly.

namjoon was going to give you that letter.

even if you might not want it anymore.

-

it’s been almost a year since you’ve seen namjoon and it felt like time was cruel enough to make that year feel like an eternity. it both felt like just yesterday that you and namjoon were visiting museums together and also like forever since you’ve both cuddled in whenever the weather got worse.

and you don’t know if it was good or bad that you still remember everything.

you remember how he carefully used to handle things that belonged to you because he knew you cherished them, he still broke a few but it’s the effort that counts, how you used to nap in his studio whenever it got too long and always woke up with a blanket wrapped around you, how you both used to skip around parks and also the time namjoon taught you how to finally ride a bike.

you stupidly remember it all.

you were quite sure namjoon had forgotten about you and moved on because you were just a chapter in his story that still had a long way to go. you didn’t blame him, you were trying to forget him as well, it’s just he was probably successful in forgetting you and you weren’t as successful as you’d like to be.

but to your surprise, you came home to a letter in your mailbox. you never get letters, so this left you more than a little curious as you turned the dainty lilac-colored envelope in your hand to reveal an all too familiar handwriting scribbled on top.

‘from: kim namjoon’

you expected a lot of things from namjoon but none of them came close to the letter that you held in your hand. and you couldn’t help the way your heart seemed to skip a beat only to shatter on the ground a minute later. it dawned on you that it could be a goodbye letter, and you hated goodbyes. but namjoon had never liked loose ends, he liked his endings to make just as sense as the beginnings, so you probably shouldn’t have been too surprised that he sent it.

you slowly set down your belongings and walked into your house, placing the letter on table, staring at it for a little, wondering if opening it will only hurt you more or not.

but did you even care if it will hurt?

all you’ve been this year, is hurt.

all you’ve felt this year, is hurt.

so, what’s one more letter? and he bothered enough to send it all the way to where you’ve moved. so yeah, you will read it. you could feel goosebumps rising on your skin as your fingers lightly grazed the paper, admiring his handwriting, namjoon has always had such beautiful writing.

you hastily tore open the envelope and turned it upside down, a single piece of paper, which was neatly folded fell out on the ground, you sat down next to it and with shaky fingers, you started reading the words of the man you used to love, you still love, so much.

to the love of my life, (you still are)

9/10/19

today, with beaming eyes and a happy smile on your face, you jokingly asked me for a letter and who am i to deny you? even with the breaking sky above us, you managed to make me feel like the lightest cloud floating in it and with that, i start this letter, a bare heart and with a hope that my pen doesn’t run out and also that you won’t find it, this is my little surprise to you. i will write it, day-by-day, on days i especially thank the world for giving me you so i hope as the girlfriend of world-renowned lyricist kim namjoon, that you find this satisfactory.

i love you.

19/10/19

i came back to this paper after promising that i will wait for a bit to finish it but you have me breaking all of the promises i’ve made for myself, one of them being don’t fall in love until you’re ready and i was never ready for you and the stars you’ve aligned for us.

but i’m still in love, and i don’t mind it at all.

you woke me up just in time for me to make it to work and because i was in such a hurry, you took over the one duty that i have, breakfast.

at first, i felt guilty that even if you were rushing to get to work, you still didn’t get mad at me for not waking up earlier, you just gave me a sleepy grin when i thanked you. and then i tried looking at it in a more positive light, you work hard for yourself and me and i’m grateful.

i’m grateful to you, even if it is something as simple as breakfast, i’m grateful. and i will start waking up earlier, i want to do more for you.

i love you.

11/11/19

today, we went to pottery together!

and we didn’t manage to make anything and it wasn’t a surprise to either of us because our pots broke even before they could get toasted in the oven. it was just us, a private class in the middle of a forest and there was a mild drizzle of rain from the sky. and now as i write this, i realize whenever it rains, i fall more in love with you, the idea of you and everything about you.

i decided to write again today because it was a wonderful day, we laughed a lot and we smeared a lot of clay on our face and you had the nerve to call my pot a masterpiece.

y/n, as much as i appreciate your kind soul, my pot literally looked like shit.

and you laughing right after you said that it was a masterpiece, kind of gave away the fact that you didn’t mean it.

but i’ll let it go because you looked cute. you always look cute.

and oh look, you’re calling me for dinner, i will come back to this again.

i love you.

22/1/20

you weren’t yourself today but that’s okay, we all have our days, it did hurt when you didn’t let me hug you but again, i understand. you had a difficult day and i wish i could take all your pain away, all your troubles, i wish i could burn them to the ground and not even let the ashes remain.

but i can’t do that.

i can only watch you lie to me that you aren’t crying, that you are okay.

i hope you know that you don’t have to lie, never to me.

i can see the tears on your face, i’m sorry i’m not strong enough to come and wipe them away, i’m scared that you’ll only go further away from me. and to me, you’re lost today. i hope you find your way back to me. i will wait with open arms.

i love you.

22/2/20

love is as deep as a sea, i remember reading that in a book. and i didn’t fully realize the meaning till i met you.

everything has made sense since i’ve met you. and it’s true, love is like a sea, i keep discovering new things about it every day, i keep discovering all these habits of yours, i’ve started speaking in the way you do and even the members have noticed, they haven’t stopped teasing me since this afternoon, even right now, they’re hovering around me and trying to read this letter but don’t worry, i have it out of their view, this is only our little secret.

you came to the studio, you brought all of us food and drinks with that grin on your face that i love so much, the members immediately bounced to you and that is when i saw how perfectly fit in my life, from my view, you, and the members, are my family. and my family is so lovely.

what did i ever do in my life to have all of you in it?

okay jungkook’s getting nosy, let me stop here.

i love you.

16/4/21

so, it really is over.

i don’t have it in me to say it’s okay or it’s all right.

because it’s not.

i’ve never been a good liar, i couldn’t hide about how i felt about you then and i can’t do it now.

y/n, i’m exhausted, your face used to be the first thing i saw every day when i woke up and somehow, even on the worst days, that was enough for me to pull through because i could fall asleep next to it.

i can’t do that anymore, and even if it’s been a year, it’s just sinking in for me now.

but i’m dealing. i feel empty but i am not totally miserable. the members don’t say it but they miss you too, they keep looking at me sadly but they’re also cheering me up, don’t worry about them or me too much.

i’m sending you this because i couldn’t keep a promise even if i tried when we were together so i want to make up for it, i’m keeping this one promise, i hope it’s worth it.

sad to say this, but my pen did run out, this is a new pen, it’s a little gritty but it works, and i don’t know why i’m telling you this but the pen i started the letter with lasted just as long as we did, so now, i see that as our hourglass, i just wish it hadn’t run out so quickly. i hope i got to say i love you to you one last time before it ran out. it’s all useless now anyway.

but even if it hurts, even if i haven’t moved on, i’m happy.

i’m happy i got to know someone with a mind as beautiful as yours.

i’m happy i spent my days loving you. because loving you is bigger than any award i’ll hold.

i hope you look back at us with fondness and not regret.

and i hope you move on and someone else loves you, maybe love you better than i did because you deserve it, you deserve all the good in the world. i’m sorry i couldn’t give it to you.

but remember me, yeah?

i love you. i will always love you.

the end,

from your world-renowned-lyricist kim namjoon.

the letter has smudged ink near the end, from both his and your tears and you desperately re-read the letter again, like you were grasping to any pieces that were left of you two. it slightly crumbles from how tight your grip was on it.

and this isn’t the story in which you run after him to get back with him after you read this, you don’t go knocking on his door waiting for him to answer and then finally fall into his arms to end your pain and his.

no, this is the story in which you clutch the cream-colored paper to your heart and silently cry your eyes out because the worst realization of reaching the end of it was, both that it was the last words that you’ll ever hear from namjoon and also that no one would love you like he did.

he will remain as that one beautiful chapter in your story that you’ll go back to visit every now and then, only to cry at the ending.

and you feel a bitter gratefulness that you got to experience a part of your life with him so you don’t mind that it hurts, you’ll kiss this chapter a sweet goodbye.

but you have your own loose ends; you have your own feelings that need to be spilled. you feel like you will explode if you don’t close this chapter in your story. you might just never finish moving on to the next one if you don’t. you too, have a lot to say even if you two are over.

so, you grab a pen, hover over your desk with a faint dangling light above you, a small smile dances on your lips and you start writing to him,

a belated love letter.

fools universe ! (series masterlist)

a universe set in a world with the boys and their own stories about loving, forgiving, and growing.

the stories are loosely connected and can be read individually, it would make more sense when read together.

status - completed!

fools - k.sj. (strangers!au)

do you deserve all he wants to give you?

koi no yokan - j.jk. (strangers!au)

you make loving feel so easy for him because maybe he’s been in love with you, without even knowing you.

hell in heaven - j.hs. (heartbreak!au)

heartbreak is never easy, especially when poison feels like honey.

paper hearts - p.jm. (friends to lovers!au) - 

your heart belongs to him, his heart belongs to everyone else.

a lil bad - m.yg. (enemies to lovers!au)

you and yoongi would kill each other if you could and maybe that isn’t a good thing when he has a drilling needle, ready to tattoo you, in his hands.

i believe - k.nj. (strangers!au)

you find love in the quiet man who rides his blue bicycle around han river.

could you (kiss it better)? - k.th. (crush!au) 

your crush on taehyung is huge and embarrassing but you really wouldn’t have it another way.

hell in heaven - j.hs.

genre: angst (4k)

summary: because falling in love with you was both the best and worst thing to happened to him. (fools!universe)

masterlist     series masterlist

no one’s seen hoseok since that day.

the day that you two broke up.

many turned up at his doorstep only to be brushed off, even his closest friends jin and yoongi couldn’t get him to come out of his house and when they showed up with all his favorite foods, they couldn’t help but notice the dark circles that covered his usually bright eyes, he looked like he hadn’t eaten and none of his energy remained, he couldn’t even force a smile for his brothers, they left without a word from him.

can a break-up really do that to a person? ruin them to the point of no return?

because that’s what it looked like to everyone. the jung hoseok they knew, the one who used to embrace everyone, the life of every party he’s been to, was no longer the jung hoseok that stood before them.

but people knew, how much he loved you, it was obvious with the way you two used to run around campus giggling and cuddling the whole time, known as the campus sweethearts, everyone used to watch in awe as you both proudly showcased your love to everyone, and now, all of that felt like a dream to hoseok, a dream he’s been harshly woken up from.

even right now, with all his friends staring expectantly at him with beer cans in their hand, not all of them faniliar with each other, their common link being namjoon and hoseok alone, with a cigarette dangling from his own hand, hoseok doesn’t feel ready to tell what happened between you two, he doesn’t know if he’s scared of the reaction or scared of living through memories that he wants to forget. he doesn’t want to forget you however, he wants to forget what you two had, because both of you were hurt at the end. and the last thing that he wants, even now, when everything has been over, is for you to hurt.

he's tried to wish you pain, he’s tried to hate you, but every time your last moment together stops him from thinking that way.

you left because you had to before it killed one of you.

“you look better now” jin offered with a weak smile, it pained him to see his once ever so bright friend become nothing but a clump of dull energy. hoseok grimly nodded to that, he did look better now that he started eating and working out more, while they were merely distractions, hoseok still enjoyed having some normalcy come back to him.

they nervously looked at each other, not knowing what to say as hoseok stared ahead at nothing, even yoongi, who usually knew how to break the ice with a joke and make everyone comfortable didn’t utter a word, their friend’s state had silenced them all. hoseok could feel the silence, he knew it was because of him and it was suffocating him, he didn’t blame his friends for being quiet but rather blamed himself for the sour mood.

“jungkook” hoseok softly called out and jungkook immediately leaned forward to his direction, eagerly waiting for his hyung to say something.

“i heard you got your first job and tattoo, and you never even told me, isn’t that too unfair?” hoseok light heartedly joked and jungkook had a rosy blush on his face as he nodded happily, just glad that he was at least talking.

“i started working with jimin hyung at joon hyung’s bakery, and the tattoo just kind of happened, one day i just went to genius lab and asked yoongi hyung to do it, i didn’t even think of a design till i got there” jungkook filled hoseok in with the details of his life from the past few weeks.

“can i look, at the tattoo, i mean?” jungkook immediately got up from his seat to circle around hoseok and showed him the beautiful tiger lily that covered his forearm, hoseok lightly traced his fingers around the tattoo with a small grin on his face, marveling at the intricate design.

“ah jungkook, you’re telling me you designed this? no way, you have grown up so much.” warmth and nostalgia filled hoseok’s voice as he looked at jungkook with the eyes everyone was familiar with, sparkling and filled with love, jungkook almost started crying right there after seeing him look alive after so long.

“i did, i designed it myself, we can design my next one together.” jungkook’s word held a promise, he was going to design his next one with hoseok and he was going to ink it on his body.

“how has everyone else been?” hoseok asked, leaning back on his seat as jungkook returns to his and everyone starts filling in with everything they’ve been up to

jin mentions how university is kicking his ass with five assignments every week, yoongi fills in about how much this one girl keeps annoying him, namjoon explains how bike rides around the river is the most he’s doing these days, jimin shyly mentions his crush on his best friend and the others break into loud ooh’s at that, taehyung is cursing out his professor who won’t bump his subpar grade to above average and jungkook stays silent, only letting a few chuckles slip every now and then with how dramatic some of them got.

and suddenly, as if they’ve run out of things to fill the void, they fall dead silent, jimin looks at hoseok who visibly inflates after the youthful energy in the room dies as quickly as it revives.

“hyung, i’ve been worried sick about you, and i really am glad that you called us to meet after so many days, but i can’t sit here and watch you suffer silently so please tell us, we’re all here to listen to you” jimin pleads with hoseok suddenly, his voice strained and weak with eyes widened and lips pursed as everyone else silently thank jimin for taking the step that they were all hesitant to.

hoseok looks up at jimin’s thin voice telling him to get out of whatever bubble he’s built around himself, to finally tell someone what happened and why it’s ruining him the way it is.

“should we pour a drink first?” hoseok offers with a weak smile and once everyone nods, hoseok gets started about the story in his life he wants to erase.

how you and hoseok got together? it was natural, like on instinct you had to be with each other no matter what, you don’t know if that feeling started at that one party where you got too drunk and finally kissed him, or if it’s always been there and you both just kept denying it till you didn’t.

either way, when you finally got together, you both were so giddy and excited about it that you wanted to let the world know that ‘hey, i love you and i would choose no one but you and i need to tell everyone i’m in love because it’s the best thing i’ve ever experienced’.

and it was, it still is the best thing to happened to hoseok but at the end, he knew it was the worst thing too.

he tells the boys everything, from your first date to every fight that led to the end and they could only hear with wide eyes, they didn’t know that a couple who looked so perfect to everyone, would have so many cracks threatening a disastrous breaking apart. hoseok didn’t care if they were listening or not, he’s gotten used to not being heard but he was going to tell them everything regardless.

you both did everything in the world, with hands around the other.

you went to bungee jumping with him, you went to river crashing with him, you did assignments late at night with him, kicking feet with each other and getting distracted every time, you learned calligraphy with him, you learned baking with him even if you both ended up with flour all over each other at the end, you could just laugh and kiss it off because it didn’t matter, nothing else mattered when you were with him.

every memorable thing in your life had hoseok beside you and hoseok has never wanted to experience anything in his life without you in it.

you had your insecurities, he had his, you didn’t talk about your problems, he didn’t talk about his.

because together, you could forget every problem that plagued your mind, you could forget about the world that was hurting you and instead just stare at each other till sunrise.

soon, your problems and insecurities and his, caught up to you before you could run away once again, and everything you loved about each other quickly became things that started to annoy you.

you used to love waking up to his loud good morning, you would wake up and pepper kisses across his face with a sleepy smile on your face, chest blooming with pride that he was your man, later you just stuffed your face into your pillow and begged for him to stop talking. he used to love eating your experiments in the kitchen, either lying about how good they taste, or kissing you in reassurance that you can always do better next time, his own face twisting to a grin every time you would pout at your failures, later he couldn’t hide the grimace on his face as he swallowed and couldn’t bring himself to encourage you like he usually does.

it was the little things that changed, little things that had a heavy weight in the dynamic of your relationship and it wasn’t like you two didn’t notice, every time you would turn away from hoseok in the morning, his smile would immediately drop and he would silently leave the room, his mind heavy with neglect, and every time he scowled at the food you made, you wanted to never enter the kitchen again, you lost all drive to do anything again.

and slowly, the rush you felt whenever you touched him and the way his heart would leap every time you said his name, both of them faded.

that’s when the fights began, small like any beginning but fatal.

even if it were something as simple as leaving clothes on the floor, you both would fight like your life depended on it, yelling out words only to regret them as soon as you say them.

hoseok never wanted to hurt you, but he did.

you never wanted to hurt hoseok, but you did.

at some point, you both got too comfortable with fighting every day, brushing it off like it was a normal thing that happens to all couples, an excuse, a kind of solace to your breaking hearts that it was okay, it was all okay.

it wasn’t okay.

hoseok wishes he could go back and yell at himself for thinking it was okay, it was never okay.

unknowingly, you both would hurt each other to the point of crying all night and then wiping each other’s tears like you weren’t responsible for it, like you weren’t hurting each other, more so like you were hurting yourself while gripping onto his hands that gently swiped across your face.

that was the first thing that broke hoseok.

crying because of you, crying for you and crying when he was away from you.

you were his home, his broken, falling apart, moldy and dying home. but still his home. you would always be his home.

it got exhausting, but you couldn’t stop loving him, he couldn’t stop loving you.

you were the couple that everyone wanted to be, you couldn’t just up and leave because the words that would leave people’s mouths after would only hurt you more.

so, you stayed.

even if you cried every day, you stayed because at least you weren’t the only one crying, you weren’t the only one who was breaking and losing yourself, you stayed because somewhere in your heart, you couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t have hoseok in it.

you loved each other.

but love can only be beautiful for so long.

the mistakes come after the regret.

regret that if you lost hoseok as a lover, you would lose him as a friend, a companion you could lean on, someone who’s with you even after hearing all your stories, you could lose all of that just because your love was selfish enough to make you pay, your love was poison enough to feel like honey.

the mistakes, you’re not sure when they started, maybe it was when you stopped going to parties with hoseok or when you two intentionally went to different parties or was it when you two no longer looked for each other in a full room? you don’t know.

going to parties without your boyfriend and pretending like you’re single was your mistake.

going to parties and buying drinks for others was his mistake.

it wasn’t long before you stopped coming to his dorm at night, instead showing up to class with hickeys that he definitely didn’t give you and you would find someone else’s clothes lying around his bedroom floor.

he acted like he didn’t notice the hickeys and you quietly put the clothes you found in the trash.

it wasn’t that you forgave each other, you just didn’t have the energy to fight for each other anymore, neither of you were on the right, neither of you could blame the other, neither of you wanted to tell another soul about it, an argument would only end in you both admitting you were wrong.

and you didn’t do it. he never did it.

the boys stopped drinking, glaring at the glasses in front of them, frozen with this new information.

“hyung” namjoon slowly muttered, gazing nervously at his friend, understanding a bit of what was going on and why hoseok hasn’t been the same again, hoseok just gives him a pained smile and returns to silence.

namjoon never thought his friend would be capable of cheating, he never anticipated his friend’s girlfriend who would always give him a bubbly smile when she entered his bakery, was capable either.

and that’s when it hits namjoon that maybe people are a lot more capable to hurt than to love.

the thought scares namjoon, it scares everyone else in the room too.

you and hoseok cheated on each other so much but neither of you made the attempt to break it off.

they didn’t know what to think of that, they couldn’t judge their brother, it would be unfair if they judged you when they didn’t judge him, it didn’t matter who did it first, it mattered that you two moved on like it was normal, like cheating was normal, like being in pain when with each other was normal.

and they didn’t know what to say to him as he downed another glass of whiskey like it was water.

so, they simply just didn’t say anything.

they just let him speak.

the cheating didn’t stop, the lies didn’t either.

the love which you painfully gripped to like gripping to stones, was fading too.

and when the love for each other died, so did the love for yourself.

you hated yourself, he hated himself because you and him couldn’t save it, couldn’t save the relationship or your precious love.

you couldn’t save the relationships around you either, your strained relationship with your family only getting worse with the little effort you put in to be together with them.

your life and his were crashing on you, but you didn’t feel anything.

you got used to the burning in your chest with every movement you made and he got used to the sinking way his heart fell every time you hurt him.

it was like you kept denying, denying and denying, one shot of vodka and one night with someone else at a time, till you couldn’t anymore that something was very wrong with you two.

you only remember how you felt when you came one morning to see another woman in his bed, sleeping peacefully next to him and you didn’t say anything, even if you wanted to yell, kick her out and then yell at hoseok too.

you didn’t say anything, just closed the door and walked off.

hoseok remembers the way his heart twisted in his chest when he came to your apartment only for you to be wearing another man’s t-shirt, he ignored it, he didn’t say anything about the t-shirt, or the fading marks on your neck and clavicle.

you and hoseok were foolish enough to believe that it was just a rough patch, something that you will get over soon and you could slip into that honeymoon phase you used to float around in, often getting excited at the smallest action of affection from the other, something as simple as hoseok kissing your forehead before going to class was enough for you to hope that everything will be okay and hoseok would just be happy if he didn’t find someone else’s scent on you when he hugged you in class.

but your relationship was like a torn paper, no matter how much you try to put it together, it just doesn’t look the same anymore.

and you were the first one to realize that.

you stared at hoseok from your side of the bed, even in deep sleep, he didn’t look like he was resting, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth twitching from time to time, it was obvious he was thinking a lot, and that’s when the weight of everything fell on you.

you hurt him, the one person you promised you would love, you hurt him.

you might have even broken him with how tired he looks.

he didn’t walk like he used to; slouching and trudging his step.

he didn’t talk like he used to; his voice had changed, slower and hoarser as the days go by.

he didn’t smile like he used to; his smile was forced, pained even.

and his smile, oh you used to love his smile, you used to love being the reason for his smile too.

you broke him.

and that killed you.

the first tear was silent and fell on the pillow, immediately leaving a stain on it, and then you cried, you cried and cried as sunlight poured into your room, your hands covered your mouth as your heart squeezed in your chest and hoseok woke up in a startle at the sound of a sob that escaped from your mouth. he hurriedly got up and looked around and then at you. he pulled you close to look if you hurt yourself somewhere and when he didn’t see any apparent injuries, he looked up at you again with teary eyes, he couldn’t bear seeing you in so much pain.

you didn’t stop crying, his grip on your shoulders trying to shake you back into sanity and his voice which urgently called out to you felt too distant to be true.

“i-i can’t find what’s wrong, please stop crying, please just tell me” he hurriedly said, softly wiping your face, frantically checking your arms and head again, searching for anything that could’ve hurt you but it was your heart that was finally bleeding after being plugged up with everything for so long.

“how could i hurt you?” you wailed, pushing your head into your hands, and hoseok paused, his tears building up again as your shoulders shook from how heavy your sobs got.

hoseok couldn’t deny the way his eyes-tinged red at your words, he couldn’t deny that he felt his own heart being ripped from his chest because you were blaming yourself when he wasn’t any better.

“i hurt you too” hoseok muttered defeatedly, his hand falling from your face onto his own lap as he stared off to the side.

defeat, that’s all he could feel. for someone who is used to victory, this was new, and he didn’t like it.

“we keep hurting each other hobi, why?” you asked him helplessly, your voice and his nickname were painful for him to hear and he shook his head, he didn’t know how to tell you that it will be okay because he wasn’t sure himself.

“y/n, it’s normal, happens to couples sometimes, we just have to hold o-“ he reaches for your hands, holding them tightly and rubbing circles on them, he knew you weren’t going to be happy together anymore but he wanted to try, he wanted to know if you could feel the same microscopic hope he did.

“that’s a lie and you know it” you bluntly said, voice hoarse but sure, and his grip falters so does his tiny bit of hope.

you look ready to leave and all he could think of was how to stop you.

“just listen to me, please” he begged, and your heart breaks at his desperate, slouched over form, you silently brought your hand to his forehead, pushing hair off from it and gently patting it back, sniffling every so often. your touch makes him flinch and then sigh shakily, it’s been so long since you’ve touched with affection and not venom.

“we can’t do this anymore; you know we can’t” you whisper as more tears fall down your face and you don’t miss the way he sobs a little and pushes his head into his arm.

he did know.

he fucking knew this was coming.

he’s imagined ways this day would come and nothing could have prepared him for this moment.

was this the end for you two? after all you’ve been through, you were going to end at 5 am on a random morning while crying into each other’s arms? is that what you’ve come to?

you slowly cup his cheek, allowing him to bury his face into your hand and cry, every time his tears touch your skin, you break a little more, and you don’t stop yourself from caressing his skin carefully, like it was the last time you will touch it.

“we’re just scared to be lonely” hoseok lifts his head in a shiver, voice laced with realization and you nod shamefully.

you didn’t stay out of love, you stayed because you didn’t know who would you go to if this was over.

love is a tender pain, and you’ve both experienced all sides of it. especially the worst part of it.

and with that said, hoseok hated himself for coming to that realization, he hated himself for knowing what was wrong with you two.

he wished that he just remained oblivious to everything, he wished that you never got up from the bed after he said that, he wished that you didn’t pack your clothes that were left in his closet, he wished he didn’t hear how you cried as you stuffed your belongings into different bags, he wished that you didn’t kiss his forehead and give him a final, weak smile before you left his room, he wished that he didn’t notice your scent twirling in the air, mocking him.

he wished you didn’t leave at all.

he spent many days, in the same bed you left him in, with your kiss lingering on his forehead, refusing to live without you. he lost count of how many tears he cried, he lost count of how many times he reached for his phone to call you and beg you to come back.

but hoseok knew you left for good.

you weren’t coming back.

and he just had to deal with that.

“i haven’t seen her since then, i asked her friends and apparently she went home for a bit, i don’t think i will bother her again.” hoseok ended his disastrous, tragic love story with a shrug.

a story to the rest of them but to him, he felt every word of it and relived through the memories he’s been waiting to forget.

hoseok watched as all of them gulped, they didn’t know their friend was silently going through so much and they felt guilty for not advising him, for not helping him sooner, it was only jin and yoongi who understood that any advice would have fallen to deaf ears with hoseok when he was still with you.

“that’s how it finished?” taehyung couldn’t help but ask, for two people who tried every trick in the book to stay together, you didn’t seem to try at all at the end.

“yeah, it just happened” hoseok says painfully and the boys felt pity, pity that hoseok or you couldn’t come to your senses sooner so you could stop before you got too hurt.

but the damage was done.

and the only thing left with hoseok was the silence that surrounded him and his friends who swore that another soul wouldn’t know about this.

hoseok, in some sick and fucked up way, still loved you. he still longed for the day you would enter his doorstep with the smile he hasn’t seen for so long but he’s glad you have better self-control than him and stayed away for both of your sakes.

for now, hoseok will just miss you until he can’t anymore.

his home, his heaven in hell, he will miss you till he moves on.

paper hearts - p.jm.

genre: fluff, college au! f2l (9k)

summary: hearts fragile like paper, tear it or don’t? (fools!universe)

masterlist      series masterlist

jimin.

your first friend in college.

in a sea of unfamiliar faces, jimin’s face stood out like you were meant to see him, like you were supposed to feel your heart stop in place with how his smile made you feel when you introduced yourself or how he hold onto that smile while shaking your hand as slowly as he could just to tease you, and it didn’t take long for him to occupy a part of your heart.

well, at least as your best friend.

“i really don’t get it” jimin whines as he wipes down the counter, you look up from typing away on your computer with a slight frown and tilt your head at his annoyed expression.

“get what?” you sip the hot chocolate that jimin graciously made for you the second you stepped into the bakery he worked at.

“i don’t get what is happening with jungkook and that girl” you turn back to see jungkook sharing a strawberry shortcake with a girl and they had huge smiles on their faces, both of them positively glowing as sunlight hit them in all the right places.

you could feel the lovey-dovey atmosphere around them all the way from where you’re sitting and it was cute, kind of cute, you grimaced a little because you were never a romance enthusiast.

or maybe you were just as bitter as jimin.

but you’re better at hiding it than he is.

“they seem to like each other, why are you so mad about that?” you scoff while masking your own not-so-nice feelings with a glare, and see jimin huff out a long breath, getting even more annoyed when you point out his obvious unnecessary reaction.

“they met like a week ago” you raised your eyebrows at the bitter tone in his voice.

“okay, so what about that? they like each other and things look good, who put a stick up your ass?” you chuckled a little and went back to typing, jimin lightly threw the cloth on the counter and you shake your head at his dramatic action.

“it’s not about that, i’m stuck doing all the work because jungkook is in love with someone he met a week ago, i shouldn’t have pushed him to her.” he scolded himself for being so encouraging to jungkook but deep down, he knows that’s not the reason at all.

“is it really that or you’re just jealous because you didn’t get laid this past week?” you quipped with pursed lips and jimin threw a glare your way causing you to laugh.

“you can just say you’re jealous, you don’t have to be a bitch about jungkook finally getting with someone” you shrugged, and jimin rubbed his forehead.

“listen, i’m not jealous, i just, can you at least listen to me?” jimin whined exasperatedly when you ignored him and continued typing, you slightly paused, nodding distractedly, holding a hand up to signal that it will take a minute and jimin huffs as he steps away.

“why do i even try with you?” he pouts deeply and you almost give in, wanting to shut your laptop right then and give him your undivided attention but you hold yourself back.

“don’t be so fucking dramatic, give me a minute and i’m all yours” you mumbled while rolling your eyes, finally finishing your assignment and saving it with a relieved sigh, now you were free for the weekend and you didn’t have to worry about your professor breathing down your neck to finish your work, you look up with a small smile to see jimin staring at you with an unreadable expression.

“what’s up? why are you being so pissy?” you crossed your arms over your chest and stared pointedly at him, jimin suddenly looks shy, nervous even which has you concerned for your usually very confident and charismatic friend.

“i feel like i should be doing that too, you know?” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to explain what exactly he was feeling and it only made you feel more confused.

“….sharing a strawberry shortcake with someone?” you asked with an incredulous expression and jimin resisted the urge to hit you on top of your head, thank goodness he liked you.

“no, what the hell? not that. i want to be like that” he gestured towards jungkook and the girl who were now completely obvious to the rest of the world, it’s like they were floating in their own bubble built with joy and security, any person in the room would be able to tell that they were witnessing love blooming right in front of them.

you’re not sure if jimin is jealous or just being a bitter old man about young love, but you knew you were jealous.

you want that too, a bubble of your own that you build carefully and steadily till no one can break it, you wanted to experience love too.

it’s only when jimin starts talking again that you lean back in to hear him, not fully listening to him but listening to him enough to not lose track of the conversation or to get out of your mind weaving its imaginations.

“i’m not jealous, i’m more than happy for our jungkook but there’s a little part of me that also wants to sit in front of the sun, completely lost in the person sitting opposite to me, i want that feeling of acting like there’s only us in the room and everyone else is just air” jimin speaks whimsically, like there was magic twirling in his words, he had a charming smile on his face as he narrated what the love of his dreams would be like.

“so, being in love?” you mutter and trail off, not paying attention to the curious look that grazes your face as you think about how love must feel like, it had to be an out of this world feeling, right? that is why people go so crazy over it. it’s the feeling many great authors have tried to explain, while they have given a peek to what love is, even the greatest couldn’t define it fully.

you don’t believe in romance however, you don’t believe you’ll ever get to build the bubble you want, you accepted that maybe one day, you might fall in love but romance might never show up in your life, because you’re simply not ready for the vulnerability that comes with the rushing strands of romance.

and you’re so lost in yourself, you miss the way jimin stops thinking and looks at you with a smaller, but softer smile on his face, the smile that no one knows about, not even you.

“yeah, being in love.” it’s after he says these words with so much warmth that you snap fully out of whatever daze you went in.

because jimin sounds serious and he’s only serious about a handful of things, one of them being sales at the chanel store, you’re not kidding, you can’t even count all the times he’s dragged you there during black fridays, and by now, even the staff know him by name, another thing he is serious about is relationships, not just romantic ones, but friends and family, he takes them all very seriously, he’s always telling you that without effort, any relationship would collapse which is why we should take care of ourself and the people around us.

“why?” you can’t help but ask, like sure it looks and sounds lovely to be with someone you care about, but why is jimin so suddenly interested in it?

“i’m just sick of seeing it all around me and not experiencing it myself, like even in the movies we watch or the songs we listen to, it’s all people seem to want, i’m just, i think i’m curious to see if it’s as beautiful as everyone describes it” you can relate to that, you’ve switched more than a few movies or songs because they got too cheesy or you just wanted to avoid something that seemed so far away to you.

“what if it hurts?” you ask, looking down at your fingers as you fiddle with them, waiting for his answer and he shrugs.

“then i get hurt” you finally look at him, mostly out of shock, because he can’t be this casual about getting his heart broken one day but jimin looks determined, to experience it, to live it, to be in love, you haven’t seen jimin this sure in a long time.

something about his simple answer nags you, maybe it’s just that easy, you just get hurt, you move on, you find someone else but deep down, you know that if you’re going to love, you’re only going to love one person and you’re going to do it right then or maybe you’re just a coward who doesn’t want to hurt someone or get hurt.

“well, you’ll get there one day” you look away from his intense gaze and pretend to keep working on something in your laptop, refusing to spare him anymore glances and out of your periphery, you can see jimin eye you one last time before sighing heavily and going back to stand at the till.

-

you don’t talk about it ever again, you even change the topic every time jimin brings it up, you know that he’s getting suspicious but you can’t help it, all that talk about love or finding your fit, made your mind cloudy, you had a lot of thoughts about it and none of them seemed like your thoughts, almost like borrowed thoughts from people around you to form an idea of love that you’re not sure you believe in.

you’re young, you shouldn’t be worrying about this and jimin shouldn’t either but here you are, two idiots aimlessly looking for love that has never presented itself in their lives before.

it has, but it’s not like you two have a clue.

you watch from where you sit in the cafeteria with narrowed eyes, jimin, who said he would be back in five minutes and it’s been twenty minutes now, is surrounded with people, the jocks, the nerds, other stereotypical people from different social groups, and he’s happily in the center of it all with an easy smile on his face.

it’s like he glows with attention, he glows with his charisma to be able to talk to anyone without wanting to run away, a power you both want and never want to be blessed with because even if you’re not all about being around people, it would be nice to hold a conversation with just about anyone, but jimin clearly doesn’t mind as he says something that has everyone around him laughing while clutching their stomachs.

for a second, you want to grab him and pull him with you so he can make you laugh like that because you don’t necessarily enjoy other people’s attention, but you don’t move an inch, you just clasp your eyes shut and slam your head on the table in front of you.

you shouldn’t think too much about this, it’s just jimin, he’s always loved being around people and you’ve never felt this urge to have all his attention to yourself but here you are, one bad move away from dragging him back to your table.

you are desperate for someone who’s already close to you and naturally, gives you a lot of attention, and you feel pathetic for thinking this way.

this isn’t like you.

you’ve never wanted jimin beside you so badly, and you aren’t sure about what you’ll talk about if he’s beside you, you’re just hoping he will carry the conversation like he usually does.

you feel a tap on your table making you look up to see namjoon staring at you unsurely.

yeah, slamming your head on a table in a room full of people probably will raise some questions about your sanity.

namjoon and you have a very casual but deep friendship, you don’t know how to explain it, but if jimin left your side at a party, you definitely would go look for namjoon to get drunk with and talk about anything in the world, he’s very open to any topic and you’re more than happy to indulge in his bright and unique mind.

“you okay?” he asks you with raised eyebrows and you nod sheepishly.

you’re just peachy.

he didn’t look like he believed you but he let it slide.

“then hopefully i will see you at the party tonight, we can pick up on that documentary about whales again?” he tilts his head, this is why you love talking with him, drunk or sober, he makes what seem like the most boring topics in the world into things that you want to be invested in, though he is much more fun when he’s drunk, and normally, you would throw finger guns and excitedly tell him yes but you already have something planned.

“movie night with jimin, so probably no, sorry joon, but i’ll come to the library in a bit, i need to pick up some books, you’ll be there, right?” he shrugs like it’s obvious he will be there because he does volunteer to work there from time to time and he leaves after that, and you’re all by yourself again.

not for too long though.

“namjoon hyung left already? i was about to come over and say hi” jimin’s voice makes you jump in your place and when he sits down beside you, you feel the all too familiar feeling of relief at his voice and presence flood through you as you exhale deeply.

jimin doesn’t notice your eyes travel across his face, taking him in like it was the first time you saw him and starts eating from the tray in front of him.

friends are allowed to admire each other, right?

“yeah, he just wanted to ask about today’s party, speaking of which, we’re still on for movie night, right?” you nudged jimin from stuffing his face with the day-old cafeteria food, he looks up with a frown, mouth smothered with red sauce and gulping down hard.

how attractive.

“i didn’t tell you?”

“tell me what?”

he furrowed his eyebrows deeper, trying to remember if he told you about his random date tonight and once he comes to the realization that he indeed didn’t tell you, he freezes.

movie nights.

they really are nothing special, it’s not like you do anything besides watch some action or animation movie while eating the greasiest foods, it’s the one-day jimin and you refuse to diet or be careful with your body, and most movie nights end with you drunk and asleep on the couch.

movie nights came to existence when your girlfriend in first year dumped you and you went crying to jimin’s dorm because you didn’t know who else you could go to, jimin knew all along that she was going to dump you at some point, he had warned you even that it was only a matter of time before you end up hurt, and considering the playful nature of your friendship, you expected him to drop the ‘i told you so’ line but instead, he scanned you with concerned eyes and silently put on the funniest movie he could think of.

boss baby.

and within seconds, maybe it was because of how much warmth jimin held in his eyes as he dried your tears and patted your head with a careful ‘don’t cry, not when you’re with me’ or maybe it was just because boss baby (tied with big hero 6, tangled and soul) was the best animated movie ever made, but you forgot.

you forgot about your girlfriend who you really did like a lot, you had a lot in common with her, and it was the first time you were dating after coming out as bisexual, it felt good, and even if you felt like you could really fall for her, you knew something was missing with you two and you even feel grateful that you didn’t have to cut her off, she did that for you.

but that day, you felt with jimin what you didn’t feel with your girlfriend.

safe.

you felt safe with jimin.

so yeah, nothing special.

nothing special about the way you looked at jimin that night and the tight feeling in your chest that you’ve been carrying since that day.

“date tonight, i won’t be coming over for movie night, i really thought i told you” you couldn’t hide your disappointment at his words, you really were looking forward to watching movies and eating junk tonight, especially with jimin, but you quickly masked it with a huge grin.

“don’t even worry about it, go and have fun, i’m sure it will go well, i will probably just watch something and eat ice cream anyway” you said with as much fake enthusiasm as you could and you almost felt like he didn’t believe you but he flashed you an equally wide grin and nodded happily.

“i hope it goes well too, i like him, he’s in my sociology class and he seemed pretty cool, we’ll see” he winks at you and he always does that, you usually just wink back at him but today, you want to bury your head in your plate of mashed potatoes to hide your flushed face. you cough and look away from him, picking your food with the dull plastic fork and your reaction confuses jimin a little, but he shrugs and continues stuffing his face.

-

“are these all the books you need?” namjoon scans the small stack of books on the counter he’s sat at and you bob your head as you sit across him, cheek leaning on your open palm.

“wait, where’s jimin? you two are usually always together” that line stings more than it should, yeah you and jimin are always together but you feel weird when someone else says it, like fuck it, you get around a lot by your own too, you don’t need jimin for everything.

“he’s preparing for a date with a cute guy from his sociology class” you mumbled with obvious disappointment and maybe even some fury laced in your voice and namjoon’s mouth forms an ‘o’ at your words.

“so, he ditched your movie night?” he states plainly and lifts his hands in surrender when you glare at him.

“he didn’t ditch me, he’s just having a date, that’s fine, i’m happy that at least one of us is having fun” your words might not be that alarming but the look on your face is, you look bitter, and like you’re ready to rip a head off and namjoon doesn’t want that to be his head so he coughs with wide eyes and returns to setting your books aside.

“what’s up with you? anything interesting?” you distractedly question as your gaze travels across the pretty empty library, it’s always this empty and namjoon is secretly grateful because he doesn’t necessarily like being around people just like you, so he enjoys the quiet and peace that the library offers.

“a little bit, i met someone in the park near han river the other day” namjoon says with a gentle grin on his face and you immediately perk up, leaning in with raised eyebrows.

“tell me everything” you whisper dramatically and namjoon lets out a laugh at your serious tone.

“there’s nothing to tell but i feel like there will be if..” he trailed off and you leaned in even more, trying to catch any details he throws at you.

“there will be if you come to the party tonight” he concludes with a sly grin on his face and you smirk, namjoon was smart, but you knew he wasn’t all that confident in the dating game so whatever was happening with him and this person he’s met, has to be something special and it’s not like you have a movie night anymore, so you return his sly grin and happily hop out of the library.

-

standing in the middle of a full room with a tight dress on with heels instead of booty shorts in your room isn’t your ideal night but you have to say, it’s not horrible so far, you’ve seen familiar faces, managed to greet and maintain a small conversation without wanting the floor to pull you in, more than a few of them asked where jimin was and it took everything in you to not visibly be annoyed.

you came here to distract yourself from him and even here, your conversations are flooded with mentions of him, you step away from everyone while nursing your peach infused drink which definitely has alcohol in it with wandering eyes, trying to find namjoon in this mess, praying to find him quickly because you will throw a chair if one more person asks about jimin.

“where the fuck is he?” you angrily type away on your phone, trying to spam him to catch his attention just in case his phone is in his pocket in this loud room and your heart leaps out of your chest when someone takes your wrist and starts walking ahead.

“sorry, you looked lost and i need to get out of here as soon as i can” namjoon yells from in front of you and you’re so glad that it’s him and not some random asshole trying to harass you.

once you’re both in the quieter area of the room, namjoon lets your wrist go with an apology and lets you know that he’s going to be back with drinks and you’re alone again.

you feel nothing but bored as you watch people bump and grind against each other, it’s only when your eyes catch jungkook’s tall figure in the room that you almost lift your hand to wave but looking at his hand holding hands with the same person you saw in the bakery, you decided against it because they looked pretty cozy and engrossed in their own conversation, it just looked like a delicate scene even in the rowdy room and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“okay vodka shots for you and beer for me”

“you know me so well.” you feign being flattered and namjoon laughs at you,

 “that i do” namjoon mutters, his tongue poking out a little as he carefully tries to place the glasses on your table and you stifle a laugh when he manages to spill an entire shot on the table with a red face and cheeky smile.

“at least you didn’t spill all of them” you mused as you grabbed a glass for yourself and namjoon playfully nudged your shoulder.

“that was one time.”

“one time but it still happened kim namjoon.” you teased and he rolled his eyes at you but still clinked your glass with his and you quickly held your hands up, gesturing him to wait, namjoon waits patiently with his glass still in the air.

“what happened near han river?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him and you think you’re kidding yourself when you see namjoon blush a little.

“i met someone, and i only know their name, but i feel this kind of connection, you know? like i was supposed to meet them” he wistfully says, his eyes sparkling just a bit as he recalls his memory and you smile at him, he sounds so hopeful and you couldn’t be happier for him.

“what do you plan to do?”

“chase the feeling? all i know is, i’m going every day until i don’t feel anything anymore” namjoon is very sure of his answer and you’re more than impressed.

“good luck with that, lover boy” you tease lightly and namjoon scoffs at the cringey nickname but then starts the ever so exciting conversation about whales that you’ve been looking forward to for a long time now.

you don’t do a lot of the talking, much like in any conversation you take part in, you always let the other person speak more and namjoon loves talking, you love listening, so it really is a perfect conversation.

you are so invested in the fact that whales actually sleep while standing, you don’t pay attention to anything happening in the room around you, you tune out the entire room, you are definitely a little drunk now because the room is spinning a little and whatever namjoon is saying with the most interest in the world, is nonsense to you at this point but you still listen, nodding from time to time to show him that you’re listening.

“y/n? i thought you were staying home” you snap your head to look at where jimin’s voice comes from, the sudden movement making you a little dizzy and namjoon points behind you and there he is, jimin standing with his coat on his arm with a surprised expression on his face.

“hello hyung, have you talked to hoseok hyung lately? Is he doing better?” jimin directs his gaze to namjoon, not even waiting for you to answer but it’s not like you would have said anything, you just play with the hem of your dress as they keep talking.

just with his presence, you feel like you’ve sobered up.

you don’t know how to feel with jimin here, people walk past him, greeting him excitedly and he is equally excited to talk to everyone.

you want his attention and he keeps giving it to anyone but you.

and you know you sound petty, because jimin would never intentionally not talk to you, he just enjoys company even if it’s unfamiliar and you don’t.

it also doesn’t help that jimin looks good, he always does but today he’s put in a lot more effort than usual, his hair is slicked back, he’s wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into his black jeans which makes him look dapper, there’s a lone silver earring hanging and he’s even wearing his beloved chanel necklace which rests neatly on his smooth skin, his fingers are adorned with delicate rings and you feel weak in the knees by just looking at him. you’re not the only one though and that annoys you.

since he’s walked in, you’ve taken note of how many people turn to look at him with pleased grins, and then whisper to each other about how he looks, some even wishing that they go home with him tonight and you just don’t know how to feel.

you’ve never been bothered about this, jimin was very easy on the eyes, it wasn’t a secret that he was easily a lot peoples crush on campus and you never cared about it before but tonight, that’s all you can think of with a scowl on your face.

“i think i’m going to head home, thank you for the drinks joon, i will send the money when i reach my apartment” you hop out of your bar stool and take your purse, not bothering to say goodbye to jimin who is more than caught off guard when you don’t hug him goodbye like you usually do, namjoon doesn’t question you, just nods and gives you his famous dimpled smile and lets you go your merry way.

jimin’s eyes follow you as you slowly push through people and attempt to leave the place, and he doesn’t know why but something in him tells him to run after you, which is exactly what he does, jimin ignores everyone who tries to talk to him on the way and catches you right outside the house, you’re looking through your purse for something and upon hearing the door open, you turn to see jimin breathing heavily while looking straight at you, and you immediately feel your palms sweat a little.

“what are you doing out here?”

“why are you leaving already? i just got here.” jimin has never been one to beat around the bush so the forwardness of his question doesn’t throw you off.

“i’ve been here for a while and it’s getting late so i’m going to leave.” It isn’t a total lie but it isn’t the truth either.

also, you keep paying attention to everyone but me and i know i sound stupid but i want your eyes on me is something that stays at the tip of your tongue and you don’t let him know that you look at him in a way you shouldn’t, you think of him in a way you shouldn’t, your feelings are making you selfish, possessive even and it’s driving you insane.

but you can’t tell him any of that, you can never tell him how you are starting to feel about him.

jimin tilts his head at you, scanning your posture, it’s just too much of a coincidence that you decide to leave right when he arrived and he lets you know exactly that.

“i don’t believe you, you’ve been acting strange lately.”

“i can’t do anything if you can’t believe something this simple, there’s literally nothing else going on” you lie straight through your teeth and you want to pull your hair out at the pure frustration you feel, your fingers nervously fiddle with the heart charm necklace jimin gave you for your birthday this year and it feels like it’s burning on your skin right now.

because fuck, he knows, he has noticed it, you thought you were getting away with it but you’re not.

“what are you even doing here? aren’t you supposed to be on your date? the same date you cancelled movie night for?” you can’t help but be petty, ridiculously petty even and you know that now, you’re definitely not acting like yourself when jimin throws his head back with a groan, he doesn’t understand why you seem so bothered and defensive all of a sudden.

“i told you i’m sorry about movie night.” jimin whines, but there is a pleading tone to his whine, a pleading tone that you ignore.

“no, you didn’t and you aren’t answering my question about your date either.” you quickly correct him and he pushes his hair back roughly with his fingers, a habit you’ve chastised him about a lot of times, you almost reach to slap his hand away from damaging his hair like you usually do but you hold yourself back because nothing feels like how it used to feel.

“it didn’t go well, we agreed that we just didn’t have that spark and that we’re better as friends, that’s all and i didn’t want to go home, so i came here and imagine my surprise, i see you here sipping shots with namjoon when you told me you were going to stay home and eat ice cream.” you scoff with raised eyebrows at how he turns the tables on you because his tone is so accusing as if you were sucking faces with namjoon right in front of him and it further annoyed you.

“i don’t need to tell you everything, you’re not my dad and you’re acting like you walked in on me and namjoon doing something we shouldn’t, and i can’t believe you’re making this about me when this is very clearly about you, you never even let me know you were going on a date until the day of” you point a finger at him with your anger practically radiating off of you and jimin just shakes his head at you.

“and you know that? movie night is cancelled from now on” you cross your arms over your chest as you say this, not letting any vulnerability show because it hurts to cancel something that meant a lot to you and jimin lets his mouth drop open at your words.

“what do you mean movie night is cancelled? you’re doing this because of this one time, just because you want to be petty?” jimin asks you, his voice raising with each word and it becomes so hard for you to fight your tears because you hate it so much when people yell at you, especially when people you love yell at you.

you sniff a little and look away from him, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down and facing him again, your heart breaks at how utterly gorgeous he looks even under this dim light, it’s like the moonlight dances on his skin, his eyes are still shining, his rings are sparkling around his fingers, his earring keeps swaying with the wind and his hair is slightly out of place but still well kept and it breaks you because you can never call him yours, you can’t call this beautiful man anything other than your friend.

“not just to be petty, i’m just done getting ditched, it clearly doesn’t mean a lot to you because this isn’t the first, but the fourth time you’ve cancelled without letting me know and i’m tired of looking like i’m desperate and following you around when you probably don’t even care about me” your voice is small and tight as you say this, and you’re not sure if you’re even talking about movie night anymore, you feel like you’re indirectly letting him know that you don’t know what this feeling is, this feeling that is burning your chest and heart everyday and this feeling that makes you want to push him away and leap to hug him tight at the same time.

jimin grows silent at your heavy words and somber expression, he doesn’t know when this argument became so huge, he doesn’t understand why you don’t look at him when you speak anymore, he also doesn’t understand why he feels like he wants to comfort you when he’s supposed to be angry, jimin has never felt this lost in his life.

“y/n, where is all this coming from? you know you mean the world and more to me” his voice becomes a lot softer, a lot lower, almost into a whisper, and you wished he didn’t say the words he did, you wished he didn’t talk like you were so special to him, because that is just fueling the raging feeling that’s settled in your chest.

“please talk to me” he begs with his hands reaching out to you and you want to run away, which is exactly what you end up doing.

“i need to go, don’t think too much about this, we’ll talk it out later but i need to be alone right now” you scratch your neck while you say this, refusing to look at him, and jimin feels his heart slip at the abrupt rejection you hand him. before he could do or say anything to convince you to stay, you quickly walk away from him and disappear into the night, and all jimin does is watch you leave.

-

you didn’t end up sleeping that night, all your mind could think of was jimin.

your skin still burned from that last look he gave you, the confused, lost look with his lips turned down and it was noticeably clear that he was upset.

jimin was always so happy and bright, he had his moments but when you were with him, to this day, he’s never looked at you like this.

and it took you the entire night to understand that the way you looked at him changed, you don’t think of him as a friend anymore and that you weren’t annoyed, you were jealous of all the people he’s talked to, you were jealous that he was going on a date with someone that wasn’t you.

you feel like someone has suddenly placed a lovesick filter over your eyes or maybe it’s how you have always looked at him but realizing it scared you, you couldn’t lose him, you would be incomplete without him and you were almost sure that he didn’t see you like you saw him, it was obvious with how active his dating life has been since the beginning of college. you don’t blame him for that though, he can do what he wants, it’s your fault being a coward with your own feelings.

you couldn’t think of one thing that jimin has done to show his interest to you in any way other than how a friend would.

that entire night, you lay with a heavy heart filled with feelings for your friend, your good friend who’s done nothing but support you, you pushed him away because of your selfish feelings and you hate everything, you hate that you somehow started to like him, you hate that now when you see his hand, you want to hold it and swing it around, you keep imagining scenarios of domestic things you two could be doing if you’re together and it only hurts you more.

-

after that disastrous night at the party, you never talk to him again, he never talks to you either, both of you don’t attempt to contact each other, instead you start avoiding each other.

you sit alone at lunch now, sometimes namjoon sits with you, sometimes it’s jungkook and his girlfriend who are honestly good company, they managed to make you feel single but still included you in every conversation but never did jimin even come close to where you sat, you’re not even sure if you’ve seen him around the cafeteria.

you stop going to the bakery in your free time to keep him entertained at work, jimin still looks up every time the door dings, full of hope that you’ve come to him but you don’t, and he’s left sighing while gazing longingly at the seat you usually occupy, he plays with the same heart charm necklace dangling on his skin whenever he thinks of you, but it only makes him sadder.

“i didn’t know beavers mated for life” you look up at namjoon as you bite off the apple in your hand and namjoon shrugs, jotting down the daily log for the library.

you started spending a lot more time with namjoon or just in general, in the library because it’s so calm here, you need that kind of calm or you might just go insane.

“and i also don’t understand how you manage a bakery and library at the same time” you point at him and namjoon chuckles a little at your accusing tone.

“it’s not like i work full time here.” he rolls his eyes and continues doing the little jobs assigned to him.

“but you’re always here.” you almost yell at him and he enjoys seeing how frustrated you get with his perfect capability of managing to work at two places at the same time and still do well in both while not feeling overwhelmed.

“i’ll teach you one day, don’t worry” and just as you’re about to throw a witty comment at him, a hand reaches out from behind you and places a book in front of namjoon, you would recognize that hand anywhere.

“jimin, it’s been a while since i’ve seen you here” namjoon grins at his friend who gives him a tight-lipped smile, you don’t acknowledge jimin’s presence, grabbing a random book off the counter and acting like you’re reading it, namjoon’s eyes dart over the two of you, you don’t look at jimin and jimin looks very stiff standing beside you, he isn’t even smiling like he usually does.

yikes, namjoon wants to be anywhere but around the two of you because the tension is so obvious, he almost considers jumping out the closest window but the fine he would have to cover would be too much for his student wallet.

“just needed it for an assignment hyung” jimin offers with a dull tone and namjoon just nods, quickly scanning the book for jimin and he notices how jimin’s eyes keep darting towards you but you don’t even lift your head, namjoon isn’t even sure if you’re breathing with how tight your shoulders look.

“good to see you here, y/n” jimin says, in a way too formal of a tone, and he looks disappointed when you just ignore him and continue reading, he sighs heavily with guilty laying his heart over and silently thanks namjoon, his steps are slow as he walks away, you immediately loosen up once he’s gone and exhale deeply.

“didn’t know you were into human beings and their many pleasures” namjoon gestures to the book you’re holding, it’s a book with sex tips and you want to smack your head over and over again with it just so you don’t have to see namjoon’s cheeky grin right now.

“you could’ve at least told him hello” he says lightly but there is a scold in his tone, his eyebrows are furrowed and he isn’t joking around anymore.

“it’s just complicated joon” you mumble sadly and namjoon takes the book away from you, looking at you pointedly.

“you should go after him and try, i don’t want you to regret this” he simply instructs and goes back to doing his work, namjoon’s right and you know it, you take in his advice slowly, jimin couldn’t have gone far, the library is huge and it takes a lot of time just to exit it, and if you run now, you could catch him.

but what would you say?

you decide that you will think about that on the way to him as you slide your chair back and start running.

what will you say?

would he even say anything back?

does he hate you?

you run and run, until you see his sage green cardigan just peeking around the corner, you fasten your pace to catch him, and grab his shoulder right when he almost leaves the building. he turns around grimly, like he was expecting that it was you.

“y/n” he says softly, but he also shrugs your hand off his shoulder, your heart clenches in place with how his voice and his actions differed so much.

“looked like you were having fun with hyung, i didn’t know it was so easy to replace me in your life” his eyes are ice cold, all the warmth you have associated jimin with since you’ve met him, disappears right in front of you and your words stay in your mouth because what will you say to that?

“jimin, why are you speaking that way? there’s nothing going on between us, you know that” you try to reason with him, and he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe you, scoffing a little and you feel hurt at his reaction, because this isn’t the jimin you know, he’s like this to people he doesn’t care about, he’s never like this to you of all people.

“maybe i don’t know, but you don’t have to explain anything to me, goodbye” he says with a straight face and you don’t understand how he seems so indifferent with hurting you, and you don’t say anything else as he takes one last look at you and leaves you right at the exit.

-

it hurt a lot that day, to be treated as any other person in the world, and not someone who actually meant something to jimin, and you can’t bring yourself to blame him because you weren’t all that different from him, you also weren’t treating him like you used to and it was only a matter of time before all that ignorance blew up on your faces.

and you know now, it’s glaringly obvious that you like jimin, you’ve liked him for a while and the only way you could manage coming to that realization was by pushing him away, which was stupid on your part but how else were you going to handle knowing that you were probably in love with someone who was your best friend?

you’re not sure what made you drive over to jimin’s apartment the very next day, maybe it was just knowing that even rejection wouldn’t hurt as much anymore but keeping your feelings to yourself will just be damaging to you and your friendship, as your best friend, he deserved to know how you actually felt, he was the last person you wanted to lie or hide from.

you shift on your feet as you stand in front of jimin’s room, you’re hesitant to knock or enter like you usually do, what are you even doing here? you can’t just tell jimin how you feel, what if he starts to hate you? or even worse, he never wants to see you again?

you could handle rejection but you’re not sure if you can handle not being around jimin anymore.

you take a deep breath as tears line up your eyes, why is this so hard? why did you have to like jimin the way you do? you can’t do this, not today.

you decide that you will tell jimin another time, you’re not ready to lose him yet but just as your feet back off from the door to turn and leave, you hear the door open and you’re frozen in your spot, your heart racing down the hall as jimin steps out with an equally surprised look on his face.

he gulps, tightening his grip around the bag he’s holding, he didn’t expect to see you anymore, not after he practically blew up on you when you were just trying to make amends.

“i-i was just going to throw the garbage” he nervously mutters, holding up the black bag in his hand and you nod while fiddling with your fingers as he purses his lips, alternating looking at you and the wall behind you before he sighed and finally decided to do something instead of standing around like a fool.

“wait inside, i will be back” he instructs, opening the door wider for you and you just give him a tight smile and step in, watching as jimin disappears out of view and the door close behind you. you never feel weird coming into jimin’s apartment, you spent half of your first year here rather than in your dorm room because simply his apartment was so cozy and a lot more spacious.

jimin earned a lot from the bakery, be it in the form of tips or his paycheck because the bakery was just very high-end, you used to love coming here and doing your assignments or playing board games with jimin, but it is weird now, you feel like you’re intruding on him which is the last thing you want to do.

you take off your coat, and settle on the sofa, throwing your head back because you can’t believe you’re going to tell jimin that you like him and potentially ruin a very good friendship but were you two friends anymore? you haven’t talked for days, the last few conversations you’ve had with him aren’t how friends talk and you want to make some sense out of it but you don’t understand anything yourself.

the only thing you’re sure of is that you like jimin, might even love him and that’s what you are going to tell him.

“sorry, that took long” jimin lets out a small chuckle, as he steps into the house and you are already sweating, you wave him off, muttering a it’s okay as he sits down on the sofa, at the other end, away from you. the distance hurts but it was appropriate considering your situation.

“jimin look, i’m going to make this quick because i really don’t want it to seem like a big deal” you jump right into it, you turn to him and he immediately straightens up in his place, showing you that he is listening.

“i’m not sure what exactly happened or why you thought that way, but you said that i replaced you with namjoon and namjoon, is just, a very good friend, i literally only talk about animals with him, me and namjoon are not like us, we will never be like how we both are so i just wanted to take that out of the way” you stand up in the middle of your explanation, it’s a nervous habit of yours, pacing around while talking and you see jimin sigh, in relief or exhaustion, you’re not sure but you continue before you lose all courage and run away again.

“another thing is, i like you, love you even, not how a friend should.” you pause, there’s no turning back now so you gather the little bit of strength that you can and continue but you don’t dare to look at jimin, you’re not ready for that yet.

“i’ve truthfully not been able to see you as a friend at all, like friends don’t get jealous which is exactly how i get when i see you around others, i feel like dragging you out of the room and having you all to myself and it sounds stupid but that’s how i feel, friends don’t look at each other like i look at you, it’s not in me to see you as just a friend anymore, i can’t keep lying to myself and to you, it isn’t fair on either of us” you put your hands on your hips and hang your head low.

you’ve said it, it’s out now, jimin’s heard it and he hasn’t moved an inch and the rejection you feel from just his stoic posture has you wanting to wail into your pillow and disappear into thin air.

“so yeah, that’s what i wanted to say, you don’t have to give me a reply or anything, and i understand if you don’t want to talk again, take care” you mumble shamefully, your voice cracking in the middle and it’s taking everything in you to not cry in front of him.

you sniff as silently as you can and take your coat, not turning back to look at him.

“y/n wait, you didn’t let me speak” jimin finally talks from where he sits, his face is as serious as it was all those days ago and you want the ground to swallow you up just to protect yourself from whatever gentle rejection he will give you.

you hold your breath as you watch him getting up from the couch and walking over to you, slowly like he has all the time in the world and you really just want him to say what he wants to before you start crying right here.

jimin reaches and stops right in front of you, you don’t look at him and his face softens at your nervous stance, he brings his hand up and you stiffen even more when he reaches your collarbones and slowly takes hold of the necklace you two share.

“you know what else friends don’t do? this” he lifts the heart charm necklace from your skin and you gape at him, your heart racing in your chest as he smiles down at you.

“i might give attention to people around me but i don’t give my heart just to anyone, y/n, and if i gave it to you, you can’t think that i see you as a friend, i’ve never seen you as a friend, i’ve seen you like a lover, always admiring and always from far away, but i don’t have to stay away anymore, so thank you for not being a coward like me, i love you too, i love you the most.” he drops his confession subtly, and for a second, you think you hear him wrong, but when you look up to finally meet his eyes, you see the way he looks at you. it’s the same way you look at him.

and that’s all the confirmation you need, you drop your head on his chest and groan loudly because you almost had a panic attack just by imagining the different ways this could go, you definitely didn’t think you would end up with your head on his chest but you don’t mind, it feels nice and warm, it feels just like jimin.

“couldn’t you have just said it earlier? i was ready to usain bolt out of here” you complain and he laughs above you, pushing your head in further into his chest and softly patting your head while circling his other arm around you.

“that would’ve ruined the suspense” he lightly jokes and if you weren’t as blissed out as you were, you would have punched him in the arm but your loved up heart can only lift your eyes to glare at him.

jimin looks starstruck, like your eyes hold all the galaxies in the world and he’s swimming in them, even your glare softens just by looking at him, he lifts the pad of his thumb to brush against your cheek in a such a tender way that you want to melt, you want to melt right into his arms.

“please never look away from me again.” he adds seriously because he’s missed looking at you, he’s missed looking at you with all his love and care settled into them and you nod wordlessly, pulling him in closer and rubbing your nose with his, making him giggle lightly.

and right then, you feel the bubble you’ve dreamed of, building itself steadily around you with the pure joy and love radiating off you two and you feel complete and safe.

you never thought you could make a bubble of your own, and you didn’t think that jimin would feel so right in your arms, and you definitely never thought that you would be so comfortable even with your most vulnerable emotions worn on your sleeve.

but you aren’t scared anymore, you aren’t running anymore, you don’t want to slam your head on a cafeteria table anymore, you don’t think jimin would let you do that from now on to be honest and you’re so glad that he’s proved you wrong, several times over, wrecked all your beliefs and still made you feel the way you do.

you’ve always wondered what love is.

and looking at jimin’s face, he looks like love, jimin feels like love too, jimin feels like something you want to fall in deeper for.

it’s like jimin is love itself.

and you have your answer right there in front of you, love isn’t some grand gesture that ends in happy tears, love also isn’t what they show in the movies, but love is definitely the out of the world feeling you expected it to be, and you’ve learned what love is, love is jimin.

love is your jimin.

a lil bad - m.yg.

genre: fluff, angst (11.3k) e2l

summary: you hate min yoongi the most so how the fuck do you end up in his tattoo shop? (fools!universe)

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you don’t know how it happens in every single party, but you always end up next to yoongi, grumbling and complaining but still with him beside you and even after several incidents of pouring drinks on each other and pretending it was a mistake, or just plain insulting each other right to your faces, or ruining dates for the other by fake flirting, you always end up next to him.

you never really understood your hatred for min yoongi, but it’s always been there, whenever you see him, you always either leave the room to not be around him at all or you start bickering with him until the day ends, it’s usually always the latter, he knows just how to rile you up, he knows just what to say to piss you right off, and you always give in to his stupid arguments.

and apparently, even right now, with all your friends dancing and enjoying themselves, you stand in the corner while idly mixing your drink slowly, and it takes everything in you to not roll your eyes when yoongi catches your eye across the room and starts his making his way over to you.

“what are you doing here, doll?” he asks, hands in pockets, his ever-present smirk settled nicely on his face, the nickname that falls from his mouth makes you roll your eyes, he’s been calling you that forever, no matter how many times you’ve complained and hit him for it.

you notice his tattoos peeking from the collar of his leather jacket which mirrors the one on your body. it is hard to not do a full head to toe scan when yoongi manages to look this good even as he’s half drunk.

you hate him but you’re not blind, you know that he is attractive and he knows it too, he knows it all too well.

“none of your goddamn business, min yoongi, get back to your friends.” your bitter reply is no surprise to him and that becomes evident with how he laughs at you and pulls himself up on the table you were resting on, looking down at you with pure amusement dancing in his eyes.

“they’re shit drunk, and i don’t want to deal with anyone vomiting all over me” he shrugs as he takes another swig and you turn to look at his friends who were falling over each other and laughing for no reason at all.

somewhere in you, you know that he’s lying, he wouldn’t mind if his friends vomit over him, he wouldn’t care even when he’s going to be the one who will drive them home after this and make sure that they’re safe but yoongi doesn’t need to know that you know about him.

“such a good friend” you dryly muse and walk away from him, only for him to jump off the table and follow you, you stop in your steps and he does too, making you grit your teeth and look at him with an evident glare in your eyes.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“none of your goddamn business, doll.”

yeah, you hate him. you take back every nice thought you’ve ever had about him.

he gives you an innocent smile and it takes everything in you to not strangle him. you swiftly turn the other way and speed walk till you’re outside the house, taking a deep breathe now that you’re free from the obnoxious people and music. just when you stretch your legs out to settle there for a bit, you see someone barging their way out, almost hitting your arm, you turn to curse them out just to see jimin come out from the same way, following the previous person.

you only know jimin because he works in namjoon’s bakery, and he’s in one of your classes, you’re friendly enough to greet each other but that’s it, so when you see him fighting with the person who barged out first, and the fight showing no signs of calming down, you roll your eyes at how stupid they sound, why can’t they just kiss already? you can literally feel the sexual tension in the air and they seem to be in absolute denial about it, but deciding that it was best to leave them alone, you unwillingly tip toe your way back into the house.

the party is still raging and loud and you can’t really distinguish who is who anymore, so you just push your way through the crowd, murmuring excuse me’s and curses to people who push you, only to find yourself in the living room where all your friends are gathered. they immediately perk up at your entrance, drunk smiles gleaming even in the darkness and you hate to admit that you sense some mischief in the air.

“i was looking for you, come here, sit down” jennie smiles as soon as she sees you and pats the seat next to her, you hesitantly sit and warily eye the bottle in the middle of the circle you’re sat at.

“what’s going on here?”

“we’re playing spin the bottle because we literally have nothing left to do” jisoo complains from opposite to you and you throw your head back with a groan, at the corner of your eye, you see yoongi walk in with his own friends and you don’t even want to look up again.

“how bored are you guys?” you complain but get comfortable in your seat anyway, it’s not like you were any less bored than they were.

“just say you’re too much of a wimp to play and leave already.” yoongi’s voice is crystal clear even with the loud music and everyone starts ooh’ing at his sentence, all of them were already used to your endless bickering and they always act like they know something you both don’t, you never cared enough to ask them anyway. you rolled your eyes before setting them on him with a bored expression.

“you’re still standing min yoongi, so who’s the real wimp here?” and now, everyone’s ooh’ing at you, he looks up at you with the same smirk that always annoys you and cocks an eyebrow before sitting directly in front of you, then pins you with only challenge clear in his eyes.

“okay, so the rules are pretty simple.” you look away from him and focus on listening to chaeyoung as she explains what exactly are the set rules.

“so when we spin the bottle, the people at the ends of the bottle either kiss each other or one of them gets to give a dare to the other, and the other cannot refuse” jisoo smiles at you as she plays with the bottle in her hand and you know what’s going on in her little head, she’s always been convinced that you have a crush on yoongi but you were close to vomiting on her when she told you that, she hasn’t backed down though and if you know her, she’s probably thinking this is some magical way to get you to kiss yoongi but you would jump into a well before that happens.

“the only person i want to kiss in this room is you” yoongi wears a wide, confident grin as he points to the random girl he’s been talking up since the beginning of the party and you watch with raised eyebrows as she blushes and buries her face into his shoulder.

poor girl, you wince to yourself.

and yoongi’s drinking up the affection, cooing at her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, not letting her go even as the bottle spins speedily and lands on taehyung and some girl you’ve seen around the campus, you have never really looked at her but she does seem a little out of place in the party, and you make a note to yourself to talk to her later, you hate that feeling of being isolated and you wouldn’t want her to feel that way.

everyone watches them with excited and curious eyes, taehyung has a huge smile on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows at the girl who looks like she wants to run away, but then taehyung reaches over and whispers something into her ear and everyone erupts into cheers when he reaches for his hoodie on the floor and drops it on their heads, the hoodie comes off to reveal one flushed face and taehyung who is positively beaming. though the kiss is over, at least you assume it is over, everyone’s gaze lingers on the quiet girl who all but is biting on her lip and averting her gaze to the floor.

“stop making her uncomfortable and spin the bottle already” you say plainly as you leaned back on your hands, you could tell she wanted anything but attention, she just had a stiff posture and this was clearly new for her, so you decided to help her out. she flashed you a quick grateful look and you gently smile at her.

and the bottle kept spinning, most opted for the kisses, and each time someone would kiss, the entire room would be chaos, with people whooping and waving their hands, you bury your head into your hands each time that happens because you can’t believe most of these people are well in their 20’s and are still this excited over seeing their peers kiss but you enjoy the energy in the air, it’s familiar and being around your friends is something you’re always grateful for.

“wait wait yoongi didn’t spin the bottle” lisa points out along with chaeyoung and they both have happy smirks on their faces as everyone nods in agreement, soon cheering him on to spin it already and yoongi surrenders with raised hands.

the bottle spins and you hold your breath because you would do anything to not be at the other end of it.

you exhale in relief when it lands on who yoongi wanted it to land on, the girl who’s been around him all night, he just looks at her with a smile and she leans forward with sparkling eyes, and you look away just when the sound of smacking lips fills the air, immediately everyone starts shouting and that’s when you understand that maybe the kiss wasn’t innocent at all, you almost do a double take when you hear a silent moan in midst of all the chaos, looking back when the shouts die down to see the girls with pink cheeks and yoongi who had a proud smile on his face.

and you don’t know why, but at that moment, your annoyance for him touches the roof.

maybe because he was oozing confidence always?

maybe because it sounded like he was an incredible kisser?

maybe because he’s got someone blushing right next to him with just a kiss?

you don’t know and frankly you also don’t understand why you stand up from the circle right then, everyone’s eyes lands on you and you shift on your feet, you hate attention, and you particularly hate yoongi who immediately looks at you standing.

“i just need a refill, i will be back, you guys play” you gesture towards the kitchen and leave the living room with fast steps, you only let out a breath of relief once you’re in the kinda empty kitchen, it still has like 10 people but not one of them gives a fuck about you, which is exactly what you need.

you spot the tequila bottles but they are empty, making you groan out loud in frustration and you want to throw a chair into the window, because how the fuck do these people drink so fast? last time you were here, there were 10 huge, full bottles and they’re just gone now.

“fucking great” you mumble and squeeze your eyes shut as you lean back on the counter.

you don’t even want to go back to the circle and see yoongi’s face or the girl that he’s with who seems to blush about everything like who’s going to tell her that yoongi will probably drop her in a week?

you stomp your way back to the living room, and sit down with a huff, not looking at anyone, just letting the game continue around you and zoning out until someone asks you something.

your eyes don’t leave the bottle in the middle of the circle, staring as it spins and claims its victims, and you only snap out of your thoughts when jennie nudges you, you are a little startled when she pushes the bottle into your hand with a small smile.

“it’s your turn, spin it” she gently instructs, and you almost just want to cuddle her and go to sleep because she’s always been so nice to you and maybe it’s because you’re half-drunk and you’re mildly irritated by everything, but you feel so grateful to her soft voice.

but her words also make you pause, it’s your turn after god knows how many turns and you want to skip it, there’s no one in this room that you want to kiss.

“see, i told you, she’s a wimp” you glare up at yoongi as he stares you down, and with a grumble, you snatch the bottle from jennie’s hands and give it one rough spin. you silently pray that it lands on anyone but yoongi.

your heart almost pauses when it seems to slow down near yoongi, but then it tilts right at the last second, you feel lighter as you look up to see jisoo at the other end of the bottle, who has a cheeky smile on her face, you lean back with your won smile because you could just kiss her, it’s no big deal.

“so, kiss?” you raise your eyebrows at her and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, looking you up and down and you giggle at her fake horny expression.

“as much as i love kissing, i have a dare for you.” you eye her cautiously as she says this, why isn’t she just opting for the kiss?

“i’m not stripping down naked if that’s what you’re going to say” you deadpan, to lighten the tension in the room and everyone laughs, taking swigs of their drinks and someone yells party pooper.

 “why can’t we just kiss and get it over with?” you whined when she stayed silent and jisoo shook her head happily as everyone’s ears and eyes focused on what would leave jisoo’s mouth, she smirks a little at their enthusiasm and your slightly scared expression.

“the dare is” she pauses for dramatics and you throw the bottle cap at her making her jump and giggle.

“okay okay, the dare is, you have to get a tattoo in yoongi’s shop by yoongi, he gets to choose which one too.”

she did not.

“i’m sorry, did i hear you right?” you leaned forward with a cocked eyebrow because jisoo wouldn’t do this to you.

right?

“i’ll go easy with the needle on you, doll” yoongi chuckles from his spot.

“shut the fuck up, min yoongi” you snarl at him and fix your gaze on jisoo again as she shrugs with a delighted smile on her face.

“hey, i could just kick you out from my store, you know that right?” you ignore his words with a roll of your tongue against your cheek and run a hand through your hair, this is far from how you wanted your night to go.

“are you going to back off from a dare, y/n?” chaeyoung raises her eyebrows at you and it feels like thye’ve definitely planned this shit from the start but the mocking in her tone doesn’t allow you to say no.

“fucking hell, i’ll do it.” you give in because again, you are never one to back off from a challenge. even if you’re really scared of needles, you can do this.

“who said i’m doing it for you?” he questions with narrowed eyes and everyone in the room breaks into scattered giggles.

“i’ll give you a month y/n, convince him and get it done.” jisoo says, triumph clear in her face and tone as she calmly hands the bottle to its next victim.

again, this isn’t how you wanted your night to go.

-

convincing yoongi, as it turns out, was the hardest thing you have ever tried to do, and you take history in college.

not only is he insanely stubborn, but it also feels like he seriously gets off from pissing you off every single time, because the minute you start to get somewhere with convincing him, he would say something stupid, you would curse him out and you’re back to square one with your mission.

it’s been a week since the party and you’ve got no progress on him.

“okay, i can do this, it’s just stupid yoongi” you encourage yourself lightly by tapping your shoulders in butterfly position, because there’s nothing else that calms you down from the inevitability of having to talk to him.

you’re not sure why you are doing so much for a dare, but it feels like this is the chance to prove to your friends that the only feelings you have for yoongi is hatred, you cannot have them thinking you like him when even the thought of him annoys you to the core.

but you’re still here, with a bag of tempura shrimp and fried rice because apparently that’s his favorite food, and as the old saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

now, if you were reached his heart, you would probably rip it out but you’re doing what you can to get the dare over with. you ring the bell and stand back, but nothing prepares you for the sight in front of you.

a girl in just a t-shirt, most probably yoongi’s, who’s definitely not his girlfriend.

didn’t they say the girl at the party became his girlfriend afterwards?

well, at least the girl looks just as surprised as you do, and she even starts getting teary eyed and that’s when you realized what this looks like, you brought him food, pretty early in the morning, you’re dressed up well because you just like to look good, and she could be assuming that she just slept with a taken man.

“doll, is that you?” yoongi’s voice comes from behind her and you grit your teeth in annoyance at his presence.

wait, where the fuck is his shirt?

you immediately avert your gaze from his bare skin and look at the girl in front of you who’s trembling, why the fuck did he call you doll with her right beside him?

“look, i know what this looks like but i’m not his girlfriend, i honestly hate him the most out of everyone i know, so you two are still fine, and gosh just wipe those tears please, i hate making people cry” you mumble the last part as the girl sniffles and nod while wiping the tears off her cheek, yoongi coos behind her and gives her a small kiss to the top of her head which makes her grin again.

he has a girlfriend, what is he doing?

you try so hard to hide the deep scowl on your face as you watch the sickeningly sweet exchange in front of you and tap your feet impatiently as you wait for them to finish.

“come in” yoongi says simply and disappears down the hallway with the girl, and you step in sheepishly, you look around the apartment and it’s surprisingly cleaner than you thought it would be, not knowing what to do with both of them gone, you enter the kitchen and plop down on a stool.

“i’ll call you later okay” you hear yoongi whisper and you slam your head on the table in front of you because that is a very sad attempt at a whisper, his whisper is loud as fuck, and it travels all the way to you, and you’re not a liar, his voice sounds hot, it’s husky, low and if someone whispers to you like that, you know that you will melt into a puddle.

you also hear the loud smack of a kiss and it takes everything in you to keep your ass planted on the stool and not run away from here.

the girl appears near the doorway of the kitchen and gives you a bright and happy wave, you wave back at her because as much as her tears surprised you, she still seemed friendly.

“so, what’s in that bag?” yoongi walks into the kitchen, thankfully with a shirt on, and you place the bag on the counter, not saying anything and letting him look through by himself.

“tempura shrimp and fried rice, are you trying to get me to ask you out?” yoongi chuckled as he pulled out the boxes and you frown at his statement.

“don’t flatter yourself” you mumble and pick your phone up to scroll as he sits down to eat, you notice him place a plate in front of you and look up in confusion.

“go on, serve yourself, i’m not doing that for you.” he gestures to the boxes with a wave of his hand.

“this is for you, more precisely for the tattoo.”

“i know doll, just eat the food.” if you aren’t wrong, you can hear some disappointment in his voice and he doesn’t even look at you as he says that, so you just shrug and take a box to fill half your plate with the food and continue to glance at him weirdly from time to time.

this feels strangely domestic, there is nothing but silence as you two eat but for once, you don’t want to strangle him to death, he doesn’t say shit to piss you off either, and the silence is comfortable, you thought it would be awkward to be in his apartment but you don’t feel that way at all.

“i’m still not doing your tattoo” yoongi says and the door shuts in your face as you stand outside his apartment with mouth agape and slumped shoulders.

then why was he being all nice just 10 minutes ago?

you kick the door with your foot and huff out in frustration because you really cannot think of anything else that could convince him.

what are you going to do now?

what could you possibly do now?

wait a minute.

his girlfriend.

“jisoo, are you sure that the girl from the party is still his girlfriend?” you almost yell into the phone to try and make your voice heard even with the loud traffic beside you and jisoo winces from the sound.

“yes, i’m sure, she was bragging about it in class today” you can hear how annoyed jisoo sounds though the phone and bingo!

you know just how to get yoongi to do your tattoo.

-

you get drowned in your own assignments the following week and don’t bother to look for yoongi, and honestly, you forget about the dare until your dear friends remind you at lunch when you were just trying to peacefully eat your food.

and you don’t even see yoongi around the campus anymore, he doesn’t even show up to the one class you have in common, but his attendance is obviously taken care of because of his friends who work in student council, you’re not going to lie, you are jealous of that, you would kill to miss some classes and still have your attendance intact.

“hey seokjin, wait up!” you spot yoongi’s friend down the hallway and you don’t really care that you literally look like a homeless person with your hoodie and loose shorts, you didn’t run all the way across campus to care about how you look, you need to know where the fuck min yoongi is so you can blackmail him and just finish the dare.

“hello y/n” he faintly smiles while sipping his coffee, how does he still look good when he’s tired though? if it weren’t for the fact that he was taken, you would definitely try to get with him but your chance is over. you feel a little self-conscious with your less than appropriate outfit and his polished look, but that shouldn’t be your concern right now.

“where is yoongi? he hasn’t been coming to classes.”

“why do you want to know? don’t you hate him?” he narrows his eyes at you and you slump a little, how many people knew of the fact that you hate each other? it’s not like you can blame them, you both fight in full parties, word is bound to travel.

“i do, i just have something to ask him.”

“is it really important?” he fixes you with a more serious look and you almost feel nervous before clearing your throat and nodding fiercely.

“yes, it is.”

“he’s been hanging out at our friend’s music studio for a while now, you can find him there, i’ll text you the address” and with that, jin blends into the crowd of people around you while you stay frozen.

what does yoongi do in a music studio? you wonder silently with your head tilted as you walk to your next class.

maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought you did.

-

the music studio wasn’t too far away your campus, and you could walk there even with your heavy backpack, you huff once you reach the run-down building, staring at it with curiosity filled in your eyes.

you definitely didn’t know anything about yoongi and music, sure you knew that he was a phenomenal piano player and also that he was very shy about it, you’ve only ever seen him play once and it was only because he was pretty drunk then.

you look around to try and find the room that jin told you about, brushing past several strange looking men but they are the least of your worries, you have dealt with idiots all the time at the bar and in parties, you will beat someone up if they mess with you.

“doll, what the fuck are you doing here?” you hear his irritated voice and silently heave out in relief because you immediately feel safer than you did just a minute ago.

“i should be asking you that.” you look at him with raised eyebrows and watch as he runs a hand across his face exasperatedly, only to march over to you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you with him.

if it were any other man dragging you around like this, you would break their wrist but this was yoongi, you trust yoongi, and  as much as you hate him, you know yoongi would never hurt you.

he pushes the two of you into a room and closes the door behind him, you immediately snatch your wrist from his grip and rub at the spot he gripped too hard.

“okay, you didn’t have to do that.” you mumble while massaging your sore wrist.

“what are you doing here?” he doesn’t hesitate to jump right into it.

and you want to bring up his girlfriend but he looks pretty annoyed, you’re not sure if this is the time to push his buttons even more.

“i just, i was around but the real question is, what are you doing in a music studio?” you throw the question back to him and quickly scan the room you’re in right now, there’s a sound system, a keyboard, some speakers lying around and other equipment you know nothing about.

“i don’t have to tell you that” he deadpans and you retaliate a little, your posture faltering at his firm tone because while yoongi has always been rude to you, there’s a certain coldness to his voice right now that you just don’t recognize.

“you’re right, you don’t.” he really doesn’t. and now, everything you’ve done looks stupid to you, like taking food to his home and meeting some random girl, chasing seokjin on campus even when you don’t have any familiarity with him just to find about yoongi and even refusing to back down from a dare that you could just deny.

you don’t think you’re doing this for the dare anymore.

yoongi sighs when he sees your rigid posture and head hung low because damn it, he feels bad for being mean to you and he never feels bad about being mean to you, being mean to you just comes naturally to him but you just look so small right now, the air of pride and arrogance that you usually carry isn’t around you anymore and yoongi doesn’t know what to do.

“how did you find out?” he asks finally, taking a seat near the equipment and you don’t want to tattle on jin but you have no choice.

“just asked around.” you still tried to cover up jin’s name and yoongi raises his eyebrows at you like he doesn’t believe you.

“fine, seokjin told me” you squeeze out and you just hope that jin isn’t the type to hold grudges.

“you really went all the way to jin to ask about me?” jin is across campus from you, which explains why you don’t know him all that well but you did find out where jin is, just to ask him about yoongi.

but yoongi doesn’t need to know about that.

“don’t think too much about it, i had a class on that way.” you stubbornly lie through your teeth.

“no, you don’t” yoongi spins around in his chair to gather some notes in front of him.

“what?”

“you don’t have a class that way y/n, we both know that.” how the fuck does he know that?

“why didn’t you just ask me? or come to my apartment? you’ve already been there and i truly don’t understand why you went all the way to jin to ask about me.” yoongi’s words are softer, a lot less cold than before, and a lot more like the yoongi you know. which causes the return of your unfaltering confidence.

“i don’t know your number, and i didn’t want to intrude on you in your apartment again.” you answer honestly.

“but you think it’s okay to intrude on me in my studio?” the mocking in his tone doesn’t go past you and for a second, you don’t know what to say but if you’re talented in anything, it has to be the fact that you’re insanely good at changing subjects.

“speaking of the studio, what are you even doing in this studio? don’t you have a tattoo shop to take care of?” you huff and sit down on a nearby stool. you know that you’ve done a wonderful job at changing the topic because yoongi stills in his seat, not a sign of movement from him.

“or you know, just don’t tell me i guess” you add with a petty tone which has him sighing once again and turning in his seat.

“you’re really pushing the limit here, doll.” it sounds like he’s warning you but you have never been one to give a shit about his warnings.

besides, you always thought you knew yoongi, like really know him and as it turns out, you know nothing at all which has you craving to know everything.

“haven’t i always done that?” you flutter your eyelashes at him dramatically which draws a small smile on his face, it’s a rare smile, you’ve only ever seen him smile like that with his friends or when he’s flustered.

interesting.

“fine, i will tell you” you immediately jump in your place, leaning forward to listen with the utmost attention, eyes wide open and lips pursed because you can’t believe mysterious man of the campus (he gave that title to himself last year) is finally opening up to you.

“you can’t tell anyone else, you have to promise me that” the seriousness in his voice tells you he’s definitely not joking around anymore and you aren’t going to do that either, so you sit up straight and nod obediently.

“my tattoo shop, to put in one way, was a rushed decision doll, i don’t know why i thought it would be a good idea but i thought as long as it brought in money for me, i don’t have to worry about anything else but i was wrong. i was so wrong.” admitting his mistake to you, his enemy basically, takes a lot of courage and you can’t help but feel a little touched that he shared it with you. and that he’s willing to share more.

“the income was great, but it isn’t where my heart is at, you know? even the course in college right now, i don’t feel anything towards it but music, ah music makes me feel everything i’ve ever wanted to feel.” yoongi doesn’t know why he feels so comfortable telling you all this when all your previous conversations have been catty comments to each other but when he looks at you listening to him sincerely, he feels like he can tell you anything.

“you probably know that i play the piano?” you nod enthusiastically, finally it was something you knew about him.

“yeah i do, you’re good even when you’re drunk.” you beam at him and he laughs at the stupid grin on your face.

he feels like he’s the teacher here and you’re the teacher’s pet.

but he knows if he says that out loud, you will probably kick him in the leg. and yoongi hates bruises so he shoves that happy thought to the back of his head, he will laugh about it to himself later.

“i’ve been writing songs forever now doll, and i’m finally getting somewhere with it, i’m going to hand over the tattoo shop to my sister and jungkook who are more passionate about it than i will ever be.”

he looks regretful almost, like he started something he couldn’t finish but you see yoongi in a new light now, writing songs, producing music, it isn’t child’s play, you know that a lot goes into putting your emotions into words and you admire yoongi for how honest he was with you even if he didn’t have to be.

“and focus on music full-time?” you ask gently and he nods.

“that is the plan, yes.”

so, this could be why he shut the door on your face even after the tempura prawns and fried rice, he’s going to stop working at the shop soon.

“isn’t jungkook that guy who is friends with jimin?” you distinctly remember jungkook’s name from somewhere but you can’t remember where you’ve seen him.

“yeah, they work at namjoon’s bakery together.” yoongi provides you your answer easily and you snap your fingers, you saw jungkook when you went to get a muffin from namjoon, he told you he would give you a discount and you couldn’t say no to that.

“that’s where i saw him, i remember now.”

yoongi stays silent, drumming his fingers against his leg and thinking by himself, he looked insanely attractive even with that stressed look on his face, he’s even wearing torn jeans today for heavens’ sake and you feel a little hot, you pick at your collar to try and cool your warming body down.

you can’t let him know the effect he has on you.

“you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone, i won’t. your secret’s safe with me” you smile at him and he gives you a grateful look before rubbing his palms on his legs, he doesn’t know what to say anymore and he feels weird just leaving himself completely vulnerable to you but yoongi trusts you, he might hate you but he still trusts you to not be that cruel.

“so, what did you come here for?” he asks, leaning back on his chair and you freeze.

how are you going to tell him that you came all the way here just to blackmail him after he’s told you his passion-filled story?

“it’s nothing important, don’t even worry about it” you wave your hand dismissively with a nervous chuckle leaving your lips and like always, yoongi doesn’t believe you.

“it must have been pretty important if you ran to jin to ask him where i am” he points out and you hate that he’s right.

“it is not important at all.” you lamely respond and yoongi cocks his eyebrow before leaning over and grabbing your stool and pulling him towards you, so that you’re face-to-face with each other.

your heart literally stops beating when his eyes meet yours, his are filled with steely determination and you’re sure that your eyes have wimp written all over them, just what yoongi always called you and it doesn’t help that you can’t think with his breath fanning over your face in hot flashes.

“i-i told you, it’s not important” you whine lightly and yoongi has an easy grin on his face because of your stutter.

“just say it, doll.” the command in his tone is really something you can’t ignore, because not only does it make you shiver, but it also puts you on autopilot to do what he asks.

“i know that the girl that you were with, in your apartment the other day, isn’t your girlfriend” you breath out and your heart returns to its pace when yoongi lets your stool go with a frown.

“girlfriend?”

“your girlfriend is the one from the party so i’m saying that i know you’re cheating on her with that other girl.” you don’t know why you keep talking but you do, you wish you would shut up already because yoongi finally isn’t that much of a mystery anymore and blackmailing him will just put his walls up again, but you don’t shut up.

“what are you trying to do, y/n?” with the lack of his usual nickname, the sentence seems colder, just like the tone he used when you first walked in.

and that’s when you know that any and all progress you’ve made with him is gone in the dust, you think might as well just destroy it all while you’re at it.

“i will keep my mouth shut near your girlfriend if you just finish my tattoo” you have never felt more stupid in your life, because you’re doing all this while you’re fully conscious, at least when you’re drunk, you have an excuse.

“so, you would tell on me if i didn’t do that tattoo for you?” you feel even more like an idiot when he puts it that way but you remind yourself pathetically that you hate him, and you don’t care what he thinks of you, so you nod a simple yes.

“wow doll, you play a nice game, huh?” he chuckles darkly as he throws his head back and you know that while his words might be funny, his tone and expression are anything but.

you shouldn’t feel guilty about this but you do, there’s this sinking feeling in your chest that whatever you’re doing right now, is not worth it.

just when you open your mouth to take back the words you’ve said and apologize and reassure him that you see him with more respect now, that his story and secret will forever be safe with you, that you admire his passion, you don’t get the chance to when yoongi shuts you up with his.

“fine, i’ll do your stupid tattoo, now get out of my studio.” your heart sinks at his blunt words and he says them while not looking at you at all, you know that you deserve it though which is why you shamefully nod and turns towards the door, leaving him alone in his studio again.

-

the next few days are a blur, and you’re back at some stupid party.

you needed to forget.

but as much as you tried to push yoongi away from your thoughts, there’s this nagging feeling that claws at you, you don’t understand why you feel as guilty as you do, but it doesn’t go away, it increased each time he saw you in campus and turned his head away like you were nothing to him.

and you hate that you’re nothing to him, you were at least an enemy before but now, he disregards you so easily.

why do you want to be something to him?

you aren’t stupid enough to bring up the tattoo though, you just figured you would give him the chance to tell you or just not get it at all, you are not going to run your mouth again.

“oh, jin’s here, did you hear about his girlfriend? i heard she’s trouble” you hear someone mumble next to you, and you immediately look up to see yoongi with jin and some other friends you don’t recognize, he doesn’t see you though and you want to hide away, you don’t want to see him just yet.

you duck your head low, clutching your red solo cup in your hand and moving away from his line of sight, the only place you know that is safe from everyone in this party is the balcony upstairs so you inform your friends that you’re going to get some air and leave.

as soon as you open the door, you welcome the fresh air that greets you, the night is especially cold and windy but you love it, you just tug your leather jacket closer and lean your body on the railing as you think back on everything that’s been happening.

why did you open your mouth in the studio?

why did you go to the studio at all?

why are you so desperate to prove your friends wrong?

maybe your friends were right? that can’t be though, you don’t like yoongi that way. or at least, you don’t know if you do.

you bite your lip once you feel tears of frustration pooling in your eyes because you brought this on yourself and you don’t even understand why you are so mad about this like yoongi used to mean nothing to you or did you just think he meant nothing to you?

you really want to call off the dare because at this point, it’s gotten too far.

“it’s freezing here, come back in.” you stiffen at the sound of yoongi and don’t even turn around, you just wish he goes away because of how you’re ignoring him. you hear steps and you almost sigh in relief, thinking that he left but when the steps keep getting louder, you turn around confusedly only to see yoongi walking towards you. he reaches where you stand as you hold your breath and he just looks at you while you look away with flushed cheeks.

“this isn’t the time to be stubborn doll, just come in.” he lightly scolds you and you huff out in frustration.

“why don’t you go in?” you snap, finally looking at him and almost instantly shrink back down because you’re really in no position to give him an attitude. yoongi clenches his jaw, trying hard to mask his annoyance because he doesn’t understand why he can’t get his feet to just move and leave you alone like you clearly want him to.

“i told you i will do the damn tattoo, why are you still being a bitch?” his words are like a harsh slap to your face, does he really think you’re still going on about the tattoo?

“this isn’t about the fucking tattoo, yoongi!” you yell at him, throwing your hands in the air and running a hand though your hair, almost pulling too harshly at the roots.

“then what is it about?” he crosses his arms over his chest, taking more steps towards you and looks at you sternly, and you don’t know what to tell him.

“you won’t understand” you shake your head pathetically, now even more confused with the close proximity you two shared but yoongi doesn’t move, he stays right where he is, so close to you that you feel dizzy.

“you don’t know that” he fires back and up close, you can see his frown getting deeper. the tension in the air is high and both of you are breathing heavier than necessary and your eyes stay glued on each other, if you moved a little more, you would be fully leaning on him and even from your position, you can feel his body heat.

“i used to think you meant nothing to me and all you’ll ever be is someone who will drive my nail to the wall, but turns out, i was fucking wrong about that, i was wrong and i can’t stand being nothing to you and you definitely don’t mean nothing to me anymore, and i don’t even know why i’m telling you all of this when you obviously don’t give a shit.” you hold your gaze as you try to put your emotions into words, it’s a mess but you feel lighter, things are ruined anyway and all you want to do right now is pull him close to you and just hold him all night even as you’re yelling at him, as fucked up as that sounds.

“do you really want to know what’s going on?” your voice is reduced to a mumble as your eyes shift from his eyes and move towards his lips, his gaze travels with yours and his eyes land on your lips too, and before he could let another breath out, you pull his collar to you and tilt your head to meet his lips.

yoongi responds immediately, his hands snaking around your waist to squeeze your hips and pulling you closer till your chest met his, as your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, tugging lightly, just enough to make him groan lowly, and the sound sends a shiver down your body.

neither of you pull apart for air, just letting yourself getting lost in him, in the taste of him that you’ve been unknowingly chasing for so long, and every touch he leaves on your body feels like a trail of fire that burns bright.

kissing yoongi was probably the best thing you’ll ever experience in your life.

and you’re scared to pull away because you know that nothing will ever be the same again, you just want to stay in this moment for as long as you can, forever if you can, avoid reality for as long as you can.

but of course, not all of your wishes come true.

you eventually push lightly at his chest to gasp for air, fingers curling around his shirt, you don’t want to let go and he leans his forehead on yours, breathing heavily as well, his eyes are tender as they watch you catch your breath, his hands leave your hips and gingerly reach out to tuck your hair back into place, all while his eyes never leaves yours and everything feels so intimate and delicate, like it’s just you and him in this night, every sound, anyone else are all white noise.

“yoongi” you mutter as you slip your fingers away from his hair and he shakes his head, taking your hand in his and holding it to the side of his face.

“please don’t say anything” there is pleading in his tone, a wish that you owe him for all the times you’ve fucked up so you do as he says, you let him caress your hands as his forehead never leaves yours, but he isn’t looking at you anymore, you don’t complain though because this way, you can look at him all you want and he will never know.

but after a while of just letting the wind embrace you two, you decide that you can’t live in this feeling forever, especially when everything feels so confusing and neither of you have a clue about what is going on, the only thing you know is that you’re in each other’s arms and that’s it, that’s all you know.

and that’s not enough.

“yoongi, your girlfriend” you whisper painfully, your heart is caught in your throat when his fingers pause on your skin, slowly retracting back to himself and he leans away from you, hands still loosely gripping your fingers, you already miss his warmth enveloping you. but you can’t be selfish, it’s no longer only both of your hearts that are involved.

“we can’t do this.” you pull yourself away from him and wipe the corners of your eyes that almost leak your tears, yoongi doesn’t say anything, but his silence is his surrender to the situation, you take his silence to be his agreement with you, that this isn’t okay.

taking his silence and compliance as your answer, you leave before your heart breaks even more than it already has.

-

you walk around like a breathing shell around the campus, regretting nothing and everything at the same time.

you don’t regret kissing yoongi, you don’t think you ever will but you regret how it happened, you regret the situation you put the two of you in.

but he kissed you back, that’s what confuses you the most, you fully expected him to tear away from you and curse at you while wiping his lips but he didn’t, he kissed you back, like actually pulled you closer till you couldn’t feel anything but him.

you want to ask him why he did that, but you can’t. you can’t look at him without feeling complete humiliation because you might have just been another girl for yoongi, another girl for him to cheat on his girlfriend with and you feel…worthless.

and you also broke girl code, something you firmly believed in, or at least used to believe in, you want to talk to his girlfriend and tell her so that she won’t be constantly lied to but you also don’t want to get involved with yoongi again.

you push your books away with a groan and throw your pen on the desk you’re sat on; you can’t concentrate for shit and you really just want to disappear for a few days. when your phone dings, you almost throw it out the window because you told your friends that you needed space after they saw you looking dull at the party and you aren’t in the mood to party and forget even if that sounds lovely.

you grab your phone with a frown and squint at it when the bright light blinds you for a second, you curse yourself and reduce the brightness to see a message from an unknown number.

from: xxxxxxx

tomorrow, 9 in the morning, get the tattoo done or forget about it.

you just stare at the screen for a few minutes, it’s definitely him, even through the text messages, you know that it’s him, and he’s offering to do the tattoo? even after everything?

it isn’t right to go for it but you’ve got a dare to finish, right?

-

genius lab ended up being so far away from your apartment, that by the time you got to the front of it, you were heaving like a pregnant women, and you heavily grasp the handle of the shop, pulling it open with all the strength you have left. you stumble in to see a pretty empty shop, it is a working day so that isn’t a surprise, you wipe the sweat off your forehead as you look around for yoongi.

what are you even going to say?

‘hello, the kiss was great and i still feel weak from it but let’s forget that happened because that basically was just you cheating on your girlfriend?’

that doesn’t sound right.

“y/n, right?” you look up to see a younger, handsome man at the counter.

“jungkook?” he smiles and nods his head, extending his hand towards you, you shake it with a smile of your own and you really shouldn’t be smiling, considering your situation but jungkook has a very infectious aura, very bright and filled with joy.

you like him already.

“yoongi hyung is in the back room, he told me to tell you to go there” he gestures towards the other end of the room and you want to turn and run away from here, because as far as you can tell, the back rooms are private places meaning it’s just going to be you and yoongi.

your original plan was to look at other customers as you get yours done but how can you look at anything in a room if yoongi was going to be the only person in there?

“is that so? then i’ll get going in there, good luck here jungkook” you give him a nervous smile and he beams at you with a nod, eyes shining and you coo at how adorable he looks before you take a deep breath to calm yourself and slowly walk towards the room.

you’re only here for the tattoo and nothing else, you won’t talk with yoongi at all or even look at him, just let him do the tattoo and leave.

there you go, perfect plan.

you push against the door with your hip, peeking in to see yoongi with his back to you and you take a quick step back, clutching your hand on your racing heart, you haven’t even seen him fully but you’re not sure if you can stop yourself from lunging at him.

“are you just going to stand there, doll?” just as you’re about to tip-toe your way out of the tattoo shop and hopefully move to a remote island where you don’t have to worry about anyone, yoongi calls you out, with his back still to you.

how did he even know that you were there?

you clear your throat a little and step into the room, the walls are white and there’s a few boards filled with drawings here and there, and then there is yoongi who apparently has decided to wreck you by wearing torn jeans and a black hoodie.

the outfit isn’t special by any means but you already feel weak in the knees.

you decide to walk over to him with your knees still wobbly and your breath shakier than it was and look over his shoulder to see him working on a tattoo design, probably yours, you lean over to see it properly and gasp at the delicate baby’s breath drawing, your favorite flower.

“i didn’t draw it, my sister did” he mumbles as continues tracing it carefully.

“your sister is talented” you say honestly and he hums in agreement.

okay, so you two are going to act like yesterday didn’t happen, you can definitely go along with that.

“stop loitering doll, just sit down on the chair” he can’t focus when you’re walking around him with big, curious eyes and a small smile dancing on your lips, and he feels bad when you sigh in disappointment and silently walk to the big chair in the middle of the room.

but he can’t do anything about it, he expected you to be your usual self and fire back at him but you didn’t and he doesn’t have a good feeling about that.

he heads over to the chair with the tattoo design ready in his hands, he instructs you to lay down and makes sure you’re fully comfortable and his side keeps pressing against your body as he leans over to prepare things for the tattoo and it takes everything in you to not kiss him again. so, you keep yourself busy, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“you’re going to have to look at me if we’re doing this, y/n” he says and you lift your gaze to see him looking at you with a face you can’t read or decipher but you hold his stare as he circles around you to flicker some lights on you.

“where do you want the tattoo?” he asks, pushing his sleeves up, to reveal scatters of small tattoos all over his arms and you gulp at the visible veins on his hands.

“i get to choose?” you raise your eyebrows and he shrugs.

“well, it’s your body doll, i think it was cruel enough to make you do this, so yes, you do.”

you do know where you want to get it, you always thought that if ever, one day, you decide to be brave and get a tattoo, there’s one spot you’ve wanted it to be but you’re not sure if yoongi will be okay with it.

do you really want to push your luck here?

“are you sure you’re comfortable with anywhere?” you decided to ask him and he frowns at you like there’s an obvious answer.

“yes, that’s my job.”

“right” you purse your lips and nod as he looks at you expectantly.

“i want it on the side on my waist” you whisper and yoongi drops his head with a chuckle.

“doll, do you want to kill me?” and your face heats up at his tone and at the way he looks up with a smirk, nodding while putting on his gloves.

“then you will have it on the side of your waist, you have to push your shirt up by a lot, like right under your bra and hold it there, understood?” you do a double take at his straightforward tone, like talking about your bra is totally normal but you just bob your head hastily and agree to whatever he’s saying, trying to not make a big deal out of it but you’re sure that your red face is a dead giveaway.

“okay, lay on your side” he places his hand on your shoulder and gently pushes you back on the reclined seat, and you huff deeply because it’s only now dawning on you that you’re getting a tattoo done by yoongi, it’s going to be on your waist and you feel stupid for not just going for your arm. you stiffen under him and watch with wide eyes as he places the needles on the table, those look painful and you’re genuinely terrified now.

“scared of needles?” you nod numbly to his question, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to get rid of the image of those needles.

“it’s whatever, it’s fine” you breath out but your body definitely gives you away, your hands are shaking and you’re sure that you feel dizzy.

“doll, take it easy, it’s going to be over in no time and just remember to breath properly during it” when he gets no response from you, and your eyes are still closed, he realizes how scared you are.

“you want me to distract you?”

“please.” you mumble and he wordlessly lifts your shirt for you because you don’t look like you’re going to move but he keeps his eyes on your face while he does that, carefully tucking your shirt under your arm to keep it from moving away and if you weren’t as scared as were right now, you would have noticed the goosebumps that rise everywhere his touch reaches.

he gently holds your shirt in place and places the drawing on your skin, putting it flat and rubbing it slowly so that it would transfer well, and you feel weirdly hot, he’s just doing his job but you really want to just grab him and take him right there.

“okay, i will draw over this and then we will get to the actual tattoo” you actually shiver a little when you feel one of his hands tracing the design and the other slightly pulling on your skin so that it stays taut and you don’t know why the fuck you agreed to this because you’re clearly suffering here.

“what do you think of weird food combinations?” he suddenly asks once he’s done with the tracing.

“some are alright, i guess” you answer and then you hear the sound of the drilling needle causing you to let out a low whine and bury your face into the seat you’re lying on.

you should have stayed home, even the sound is freaking you out.

“which ones, according to you, are acceptable?”

“i don’t think mint chocolate is as bad as people make it out to be.” he scoffs at your response, making you frown.

“what is your problem?” you snap at him and yoongi smiles because you’re finally talking to him like you always do, he would recognize that tone of yours anywhere.

“mint chocolate is horrible, doll, i thought you had taste.” he clicks his tongue at you and you immediately go on a rant about how mint chocolate is too hated of a flavor and that at the end of the day, it’s just food and everyone has different tastes.

somewhere in the middle of your rant, yoongi looks at you fondly, you’re always so passionate about everything, even the simplest things, you make it sound and feel like how music affects him, and just as you’re almost done with your rant, he presses the needle on your skin making you yelp and you would’ve jumped and ended up scarring your skin if it weren’t for his hands holding you down.

this hurts this hurts this hurts.

it’s all you can think of as he slowly moves the needle around, looking at you every once in a while to check if you’re okay.

“i never got to tell you this but i think you following your passion with music is really cool and i really respect you for that, i hope you know that i will always support you on it.” you breath out quickly and if you weren’t here, yoongi would’ve cried because he appreciates your words so much, he pats your head in thanks, mumbling how grateful he is and it’s delicate, just like your first kiss.

it doesn’t last long though.

“you know, a food combination i like is french fries and vanilla ice cream.” your mouth drops open at his words, that sounds nasty as hell.

“why are you looking at me like that?” he laughs at your scrunched up face.

“what the fuck do you mean by french fries and vanilla ice cream?” you practically growled at him while looking at him with pointed eyes, can this tattoo be done anytime soon?

“don’t say shit when you haven’t tried it.” he smirks at your annoyed expression and you just glare at him.

“i don’t have to try that monstrosity to know that it tastes like trash.” you snap at him with raised eyebrows and just when he is about to reiterate with another comment, you unconsciously move, you hear him tut and hold you back down with a strong grip.

“sit still doll, or i might just drive this needle into your nerves and leave you paralyzed for life.” you know his warning doesn’t mean shit but you stay silent and stop moving anyways.

wait, you haven’t felt pain for the past five minutes, and you realize it’s because yoongi distracted you, he could’ve just done his job and leave you to suffer alone but he didn’t, and your heart swells a little.

that was sweet of him.

“how did you know that i like baby’s breath?” yoongi pauses with the needle but then continues like nothing happened at all.

“asked around” he casually replies and you roll your eyes, of course he would say that.

“yoongi, we need to talk about what happened in the party” you nervously but finally address the elephant in the room, biting your lip once the pain increases again.

“when i have a needle in my hand, really?” he looks up with an exasperated expression and you nod.

“with a needle in your hand, yes.”

“doll, all i’ve got to say is, i don’t know why you think i have a girlfriend” he laughs a little as he continues moving the needle against your skin.

wait what?

“what?”

“wait a second, your tattoo is almost over” you let him finish up while you are lost in your own thoughts, you are once again confused about everything and you don’t even feel the pain anymore, he places a patch over the tattoo after you get a look of it and you have to admit, he might not have passion in this but he’s surely talented.

he helps you sit up slowly, holding both of your hands firmly and pulling you forward till your legs almost wrapped themselves against his waist, he doesn’t let go of your hands though.

“i don’t have a girlfriend, and the only reason i let you go that night was because you didn’t look like yourself, i didn’t want to take advantage of you when you were that emotionally vulnerable, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you that dull.” he speaks sincerely and you know that he’s honest but you’ve still got so many questions.

“so, what about the girl from the previous party? the one where we played spin the bottle?”

“she wasn’t my girlfriend, i didn’t even sleep with her that night.” he shook his head as he said it and you narrow your eyes at him.

“well, she doesn’t know that because she’s bragging to everyone that you’re her boyfriend” you poke a finger at his chest accusingly and he chuckles.

“let her, i know who’s i want to be and it’s not her” your cheeks flush when he looks at you pointedly as he says that, you clear your throat and sit up straighter, taking this new information gracefully and doing a little happy dance in your heart, you wrap your arms around his neck and plays with the ends of his hair as he can’t help but grin at you.

“what about at the studio? you got so mad” you mumble sadly because you still remember how heartbroken you were that day and yoongi sighs, patting your cheek and rubbing his thumbs in circles on them.

“well, girlfriend or not, i didn’t like that you blackmailed me, doll. i had just opened up to you and you hit me with that so yeah, i was mad but i’m not anymore, okay? i know how stupid you can be sometimes” he adds the last part teasingly and you immediately gasp, pulling away from him and hitting his chest though a huge smile blooms on your face. yoongi laughs happily as you continue to try to hit him as he dodges.

eventually he gets tired of moving away from you, so he grabs your hands in his and pulls you closer till your lips meet his, your wrists stay captured in his hands as you kiss him back with every bit of your nerves ignited with a fresh need, you pull away from him with a small giggle while he wears a dopey grin.

“i hate you so much” you mumble against his lips with a huge grin, but like any other time, you don’t have a scowl on your face nor do you mean those words at all, he hums in agreement, pecking you one more time and cupping your face in his hands.

“trust me doll, i hate you so much more” he coos at you and you laugh at him because you know he doesn’t mean it either, you know that the word hate is just a replacement for love when it comes to the two of you, the way his eyes sparkle at you with a newfound joy tells you enough, and your laugh only gleefully extends once he starts peppering kisses all over your face as you try to swat him away.

so yes, you hate yoongi a lot, you hate min yoongi the most.

to: jisoo

the dare’s done, you can get off my ass about it! and guess who has a boyfriend now? 😉

i believe - k.nj.

genre: fluff, angst (10k)

summary: who would’ve known that the boy on the blue bicycle would change the way you view life and save you from yourself? (fools!universe)

warning: mentions of depression and anxiety.

masterlist       series masterlist

seoul.

this place that looked so bright and full of life, made you feel like the loneliest person in the world.

seoul.

a place where everyone seemed to know everyone and no one at the same time, this maze of a place is what you would call home for the next year and so.

being a transfer student was hard enough on its own, being an introverted art transfer student was even harder. all the friends who came with you had already found home in the people around them and in the places they chose to live in but you were stuck here, in this admittedly beautiful apartment, but even as beautiful as it was, you didn’t have anyone to fill the silence in the air around you.

your friends were good people though, they knew how hard it would be for you to adjust which is why they constantly spent time with you but you have urged them to not bother with that anymore, they’re in a new place with a treasure box full of memories and fun to unbox and you are no one to hold them back.

and loneliness isn’t an unfamiliar feeling, so you don’t feel too down about it.

but you do wish that you had someone to open your treasure box with, someone who sits beside you as you unpack the stories you would tell in the future, someone who would be the main character in your stories, the one who knows everything about you, someone who listens to the dreams you whisper into the night.

you had simple dreams.

your dream was to escape the cage you put yourself in.

and you’ll get there, your hope is flickering and exhausted but it exists, it urges you to breath everyday even if it’s hard, even if you want to run away and never talk to anyone again, your tiny light of hope that you’ll reach your dream, is what keeps you alive.

besides, seoul has too many pretty café’s, bakery’s, and skylines for you to give up here, you would rather give up in a place where everything is mundane and monotone, kind of like your home before you came here.

your hands lay limp beside you as you take a break from molding your sculpture, the clay drying on your hand feels uncomfortable, the night keeps getting colder as midnight strikes, and you feel tired in all aspects but that isn’t a valid excuse to the world, and it is especially a lousy excuse to your teacher who will grade this assignment in a few months from now.

you have just a few months to finish this intricate design of a woman falling down, you’re half-way done with her head but your mind doesn’t let you imagine what a descent would look like, a descent of a spectacular woman like the one you’ve made deserves to be show-stopping and you can’t come up with it.

what made you think that being an art major student would be a good idea?

you are clearly not cut out for it and the consolation and peace you used to feel every time your hands moved to create something is largely absent from your recent works, you feel like you can’t do anything right these days.

you are so cruel to yourself, even when the world is enough cruel to you, you press yourself to feel more pain, to hurt yourself a little more and you feel utterly useless in this large world filled with talented people.

art used to be your thing, it used to make you feel like a blooming flower during spring, it used to make you feel like you’re having the wildest party all in your head and it broke your heart into many more pieces when you didn’t feel that rush of emotions anymore.

you loudly sigh and check the time; it’s a little past midnight and you can only guarantee your safety if you start leaving now considering you want to take a ride to han river before you head home as well. you arrange your supplies in the right order and wave goodbye to the unfinished sculpture, grabbing your bicycle and then you’re gone in the wind.

the world doesn’t seem as cruel with breeze flying through your hair and your hands tightly wound on the bicycle you’ve rented for the time being, it was cheaper and you needed a way of transport in this expensive city, and you don’t like buses even if they’re more accessible, you prefer your lilac bike.

han river is one place that feels like home in this cold city, it’s the one place you will let yourself get lost in, you screech your cycle to a stop and step off the bike, there’s not a lot of people in sight, a few couples here and there, some people walking their dog and then your bench. well, it’s not your bench but whenever you’re here, it’s always empty and you just claimed it as yours but this time, it’s not.

you squint your eyes as you walk your bike to the bench, the usually empty bench seems to be occupied by a tall man, who doesn’t seem to notice anything around him, his cap is lowered just enough to cover his eyes and his stature is slightly slouched over, you only notice a notebook on his lap once you get close enough.

“is there anything i can help you with?” a gentle but deep voice breaks your train of thoughts and that is when you realize you’re staring at him, you panic and quickly bow in apology, palms already sweaty at having to come up with an excuse.

“i-i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare, this bench is usually empty which i was confused that’s all, enjoy your night” you bow again in apology, eyes squeezing shut, you want to run away and never come back, even your safe place has an embarrassing memory attached to it now.

“no no it’s okay” he lightly chuckles and you feel grateful to the kind stranger.

“if you want, there’s place for one more” he pats the empty space next to him and finally lifts his head, with his cap no longer getting in your way, you almost gasp at how handsome the man is, his eyes especially, you don’t think you’ve seen more beautiful eyes in your life.

“i don’t want to intrude, really it’s okay” you nervously say, hands squeezing the handles of your bike tighter.

“you’re not intruding, technically this is public property so you can do what you want.” he shrugs.

he’s not wrong. and his voice is awfully soothing to the ear so yeah, maybe you’ll take that seat.

you rest your bike against the tree beside it, noticing another bike resting against it and sheepishly sit down next to the man with the blue bike and comforting voice. you lean back with a sigh of relief, still a little stiff because you’re sitting next to a stranger but you don’t feel as uncomfortable as you usually do around new people.

you like that.

you like not freezing every time someone unfamiliar talks to you.

“my name’s kim namjoon, by the way” he lifts his hand with a huge smile and your eyes admire the deep dimples on his cheek, he looks friendly and awfully too nice.

too nice.

“y/n” your cheeks are already flushed and you manage to only whisper your name as you shake his hand, his hand feels warm and welcome.

“so, y/n, which university do you go to, assuming that you are still a student?” you’re surprised that he is trying to make conversation with you but you find yourself not minding it at all.

“still a student and this university” you lift your phone to show him the university on your phone and his eyes spark with recognition. it isn’t good to show strangers which university you go to but namjoon looks harmless, you just hope he’s as harmless as he seems.

“we go to the same university” he smiles at you and you bite your lip, you’ve never seen him around.

“do we? what do you major in?” you slip your phone into your pocket and look at him.

the moonlight looks especially stunning on him.

“it’s pretty boring, business and history” he sheepishly scratches the back of his head and you shake your head immediately.

“everything feels boring after a while, i’m sure you’ll find something special in those subjects too” you wish you could say the same to yourself but you’re not sure if your love for art will ever be reborn again. you don’t notice namjoon’s fond eyes looking at you as you worry about yourself.

“what course do you take?”

“art” you answer shyly.

“that’s so cool” and usually, whenever you tell people that you’re an art major, you see a constant wariness in their eyes, judging you, judging your future and they proceed to ask questions about how you’ll build yourself from scratch. questions like that scared you.

namjoon doesn’t say anything but a simple compliment, simple but sincere and that’s really all you need. you smile at him, sincerely for the first time in months.

“you come here often?” it keeps surprising you that he continues the conversation but you’re grateful that he does, you have no way to continue it yourself.

“not a lot of other places to go to when you’re a broke college student.” namjoon chuckles at your dull tone and you find that you like that, you like making him laugh like he is right now.

“you’re right, seoul is as expensive as it can get.” his tone is whiny and…cute? everything about namjoon is cute as far as you can tell.

“tell me about it, can’t buy a decent cup of coffee without having to sell my kidney.” he laughs once again and at the sound of his laughter, a familiar bloom of happiness starts slowly in your body too. and you grin at him.

“well i bear good news for you, dear broke college student, i happen to be the owner of a bakery near the campus, it’s called ‘joonie,’ don’t question the name please, and you’re welcome anytime, i promise to give a hefty discount.” his voice is teasing and filled with playfulness which makes you giggle, his eyes widen at your loud giggle, before they disappear because of his huge smile.

“not for free?” you decide to tease him back and he throws a glare at you, though a smile stays dancing on his lips.

“i will be the broke college student then” you laugh breathlessly into the chilly night and you feel free. you don’t feel your cage around you, even if it was just for that moment or two.

and you know that’s it all because of the man with the blue bike sitting right next to you.

maybe, just maybe, seoul isn’t as lonely of a place as you thought it would be.

-

that night, you fell asleep with a warm feeling trapped in your body, namjoon insisted to walk you, and even with all the sirens of stranger danger, you let him, it was a lovely walk, you made each other laugh as the night grew colder and right at your door, he gave you a smile you would remember forever, that’s how special it felt to you.

now, that you’re alone again, you don’t feel as warm and fuzzy anymore, you are cold as ice like any other day.

you don’t know why you are, the way you are but you are. you exist, fading in and out of reality, but you exist. and you have responsibilities, you have teachers back home to make proud, you have a family waiting for your calls, you have assignments to finish, you have a life that you can’t just resign from.

your hands drip with wet clay as you focus on finishing the head of your falling lady, you feel your approaching sadness over the emotions you miss, your hands carefully press and smooth on her face, you don’t want to mess her up and you need your scholarship if you want to stay or continue in seoul. but you still feel hollow, devoid of the capability to feel anything.

you lean back on the uncomfortable wooden stool which digs into your skin from time to time, you can’t even reach for your phone with how messy your hands are and you groan, desperately trying to get your head back into it.

“can’t focus?” you hear the same, deep voice and you immediately snap your head at the entrance of the studio room to see namjoon leaning on the doorframe, he had a nervous smile on his face with slightly widened eyes and you immediately felt bashful under his careful gaze.

“it’s nothing new” you say honestly and he hums, walking into the room and sitting on the other side of your table.

“i hope you don’t think is creepy, you told me you were in the art department and i was going to head home, but the light was turned on here so i assumed there would be a chance of you being here, and i just wanted to check, i swear it sounds creepy but it’s n-“ you cut his nervous rambling with a small chuckle, waving your hand to dismiss his worries.

“it’s alright, really” you reassure him and he sighs in relief.

“i’m not here to distract you though, you can keep working, i’ll leave.” he gives you a smile and gets ready to leave but you don’t want him to go.

“no, stay.” you say and immediately feel a blush creep over your face when he shrugs happily and sits back down.

“i could use a distraction right now, is what i meant” you try to cover you but you know that namjoon doesn’t buy that excuse, he just nods with a playful roll of his eyes.

“in that case, can i take you somewhere?” and you don’t say no.

-

in namjoon’s poorly lit bakery, which apparently runs 24/7, you feel good sitting opposite to him and you don’t mind the open environment because there’s barely anyone here.

“you were doing a sculpture when i came in, right?” you nod, fingers curling around the coffee cup in front of you.

“the idea is to make it a falling woman.”

“i can’t imagine that being easy.” namjoon tilts his head with a small frown.

“you’re right, it’s not. which is why i’m struggling with it” you smile tightly, your mind once again invading you with your inability to finish it.

“it’s not easy but i’m sure you can do it.” he reassures you and as much as you want to believe it, you don’t have it in you.

“right” you mumble with a strained smile and namjoon picks up on your sour mood.

“it’s hard to focus sometimes, burnouts are very natural especially if it’s a creative process like yours, so take it easy, work as hard as you can when you’re motivated, and take breaks when you don’t feel motivated” you just stare at him with your mouth agape, because no one’s tried to comfort you like this and you don’t even know namjoon all that well.

“thank you, like seriously thank you” you are grateful to him, his words did give you a small push, to continue your assignment.

“you don’t have to thank me, just be sure to show me when you’re done with it, yeah?” he smiles at you and you nod happily, you decide right then that he’ll be the first person you show because you really don’t know anyone else in this city.

“enough about me, tell me about you.”

“i like writing songs.” you widen your eyes in excitement and urge him to continue, at your enthusiastic reaction, he lets out a little laugh and rubs the back of his neck.

“me and my friends, we recently rented a studio, the goal is to be a producing group together, we’re pretty solid” he explains and your respect and admiration for him grows ten-fold.

you want to ask him to listen to one of his works but you’re not sure if you’re there yet.

“one day, maybe if we keep meeting like this, you can listen to something by me.”  he suggests and you’re delighted that he says it himself.

“one day” you smile gleefully at him and he smiles right back.

you may not like seoul just yet, but you like namjoon.

you like namjoon a lot.

-

you don’t stop meeting namjoon, whether it be at your art studio when he visits you late at night, and it feels so delicate with no one else but you two. or whether you meeting him during his shift in the library and then walking to the bakery and staying there till it gets too late.

you enjoy his company; you enjoy making him laugh and knowing more about him.

and you only hope that he enjoys it just as much as you do.

you really, really hope that he does.

“you look cute when you concentrate” you suddenly hear namjoon’s voice as your hands smooth over your woman’s cheeks, your movements pause on the sculpture, looking at him with widened eyes and he simply grins at you, you snap your head back and start running your hands on her face, ignoring the butterflies in your chest.

“oh right, the other day, you asked me when i would let you listen to my music?” you immediately abandon your sculpture to lean towards him with an eager smile on your face and namjoon chuckles bashfully at your reaction.

one thing that you both constantly talked about was his music, since you got to know about it, your curiosity was endless, and namjoon was more than happy to feed your thoughts, telling you everything from his inspiration to write lyrics to where he gets his equipment and why he writes the lyrics he does.

“well, today’s the day if you want to go” you don’t even answer him, shuffling out of your seat and putting your sculpture, and namjoon watches with amusement as you hurriedly arrange everything and run around to finish as quickly as you can.

“let’s go” you gasp breathlessly as you come back to him while stuffing your arms into your cardigan and namjoon gestures you to calm down with the same amused smile.

“i’m calm, now take me” you whine as you grab his hand, dragging him out of your studio.

-

you both are giggling all the way up to his studio, namjoon either tickling you whenever you talk too much or you mess up his hair by pulling his hoodie on his head over and over again, you’re nothing but all smiles as you reach the room. the lights are already on and you hear light noise coming from the inside, namjoon looks over at you and then places his hand on the door.

“i guess, you’re also meeting my friends today” he smiles at you and you freeze, and just as you’re about to grab his hand and run back to your studio, he pushes the door open and pulls you in with him.

you are met with three pairs of unfamiliar eyes who immediately look up at the intrusive sound and the new person in the room. you instinctively move behind namjoon a little, but then he’s tutting at you and pulling you gently in front of him, all while the four pair of eyes never leave your intertwined fingers.

your feet stop moving as you only look at the ground, letting namjoon start the conversation.

“everyone, meet y/n, she’s my…friend” he breathes out and you don’t lift your head, just nodding in acknowledgement. you hear people shuffle around before a hand comes into your vision, you look up to see a man with a bright smile on his face.

“name’s hoseok, nice to meet you” you slowly shake his hand as he keeps smiling at you, you feel yourself smile back at him involuntarily. someone pushes hoseok out of the way and even as he turns to curse at them, another hand extends itself towards you.

“hello, i’m taehyung” he doesn’t wait for you to take his hand but eagerly reaches for it and shakes it roughly, making you giggle at his frantic actions, and then one more hand takes his place.

“yoongi, good to meet you” he offers you a small smile and you smile back at him.

“this isn’t everyone by the way, just the half” and you’re glad because your social battery isn’t charged for more people.

“now, i came here to show y/n something so, everyone out” namjoon points to the door with his thumb and everyone except you starts whining and complaining but they do start to gather their things, hoseok leaves first but not without telling you that you should hang out one day and yoongi does the same, taehyung pauses at the door before turning with a smirk.

“you’re kicking us to kiss y/n, right?” he teases and you choke on your own breath, namjoon also blushes and looks away before pushing the boy out.

“sorry about that” he scratches the back of his neck and you wave your hand to dismiss his worries, shyly pushing your hair back.

“okay, let’s do this” he claps his hands, sitting in front of a large monitor, you sit right beside him, leaning over to see him clicking over many files to find the song he wanted to play for you.

he looks at you with a nervous smile and you nudge him to press play already and when he does, you don’t think about anything but the sound that surrounds you.

it’s an alternating beat, flowing between a softer to a harsher beat, the lyrics and namjoon’s voice engulfing you, telling you story about an ending, a bye which isn’t pleasent, and it makes you tear up, because the feeling that you missed with your art slowly spreads in your chest, covering inches of you in miniscule crawls but just the return of those feelings makes you want to break down on the floor in happiness.

you listen with awe written all over your face and namjoon doesn’t disturb you, doesn’t ask you how it is, just lets you feel his words in peace.

at the end of the song, he doesn’t even ask you if you like the song or not, he simply smiles at your teary eyes and wipes a few tears that stopped on the apples of your cheeks.

“sometimes, i’m afraid” he quietly says, the music long fading into background and now, it’s only him that matters.

“afraid of what?”

“that i won’t go somewhere with this” he gestures to the equipment and lyric sheets messily thrown on the desk, the tension is heavy in the room with namjoon’s dull mood, and you take his hand in yours.

“you made me feel something that i never thought i would feel again, i was so scared that i lost the part of me that could feel but that one song revived me, and if that happened with me, i’m sure your music will resonate to a lot of others too, and you don’t have to go somewhere with this, you’re already there as long as you love what you’re doing.”  you tell the words you wished someone would say to you, because namjoon, out of anyone else you knew, deserved to hear those words.

he’s grateful for your words as he takes your hand in his and presses a gentle kiss on it. your smile is wider than it’s ever been and you know that it’s only because of him. and with that kiss, you also know that it’s not just you who is falling.

“thank you” he mutters, cupping your hands gently in his.

“you can thank me by playing more songs” you cheekily say and namjoon lifts his hands in surrender with a low chuckle, already looking for more songs to play for you, but now, it’s less about showing you his work and more about seeing that look on your face as you completely get lost in the song.

that’s how you spend the night, you end up in full blown tears at some point, and namjoon laughs as he keeps wiping them with his sweater and you don’t want the night to end, you don’t want to stop crying around namjoon because you get too into your feels about the song, you don’t him to stop wiping your tears away because it’s him, and any moment with him, laughter or sobs, feels right.

how are you ever supposed to tell him that you have to leave?

-

you stir lightly in your slumber, being unable to stretch as much as you want to and with an annoyed groan, you open your eyes to meet..a chest?

yeah, that’s someone’s chest, you’re very sure it is.

you snap your head up even in your half sleepy state to see namjoon still blissfully in dream land.

then you look at your surroundings, you never left the studio last night and right now, you’re all cuddled up to namjoon and the warmth around you two is a good change from the weather outside.

you don’t mind this, you don’t mind this at all.

you lazily smile before snuggling closer and trying to fall asleep again, but then you hear noises, voices to be more exact and it’s coming from right outside the door, you internally panic but don’t have the energy to try and move.

you hear the creak of the door opening, and squeeze your eyes shut, hoping that whoever it is, just goes away and leaves you until you can run out. the voices immediately pause, and you know that they’re looking at you.

“no way” someone chuckles in disbelief and if you remember right, the voice belongs to taehyung. you feel namjoon move in his sleep and expect him to get up abruptly to explain to his friends whatever this was. but just like you, he doesn’t move.

“what are you doing here so early?” he groans, cradling your face deeper into his chest and you feel a rosy blush erupting in your cheeks at his low voice and the new closer proximity.

“it’s saturday, namjoon” hoseok answers.

“i get that but can you leave till she gets up and goes back? i don’t want her to be uncomfortable when she wakes up.” your heart warms at how considerate he is of you and stifle your laugh when they playfully complain to namjoon, loud enough to whine but low enough to not disturb you, they still think you’re asleep.

“the things we do for young love” yoongi dramatically mutters.

“you better buy us a round of drinks later, hyung” you hear taehyung complain but you also hear a smile in his complaint, like he actually doesn’t mind at all.

“yeah yeah, now get out.”

“so bossy” hoseok mutters one last time before the door closes and you deeply exhale in relief.

“you can open your eyes now, they’re gone” namjoon brushes your hair away from your face and you squirm in his arms, darting your eyes up as you look at him, you feel totally in bliss in his arms with sunlight shining on you two.

am i suffocating you?

do i make you happy like you make me?

am i hurting you, because i’ve done that before?

how will i leave you behind?

like a response to all your questions, namjoon places a soft kiss on your forehead before his lips trail all across your face, delicately drawing patterns on your face and then his lips pause at yours.

but you don’t back away like you expected yourself to and he doesn’t either, only holds you tighter.

-

the smile on your face doesn’t budge as you finish your falling lady’s head, it’s finally done, and you’re honestly in love with her, you’re in love with everything about her face, from her eyelashes that are startled open, lips slightly parted, eyebrows raised in an elegant way and her face contorted in a peaceful shock. even when falling, she’s supposed to be the most graceful woman. and she looks like it too.

you feel at peace, not as jittery as you used to be, you still get the occasional sinking feeling of fear and disappointment but you don’t let it take over you like it used to.

even your hands covered with clay don’t feel uncomfortable, they don’t feel suffocating, they feel freeing, you’re slowly re-discovering love, both for art and in people. and you know why you feel better than you have in years.

the door to the art studio swings open and you barely recognize namjoon who stumbles in through.

you also understand why love is addictive.

“do you need help with that?” you get up from your stool when you see namjoon carrying a huge stack of books in his arms. you hear a groan in reply and stifle a laugh as you wipe your hands on your apron and take half the stack from him, placing them on your desk with a huff.

“why are you carrying these around?” you ask as he sits down opposite to you.

“new books, i need to write their titles down in this register” he lifts a large, rectangular book from the desk with a look of dread on his face.

“you couldn’t do that in the library? carrying all of these books back will be exhausting.”

“i just wanted to spend time with you” he nervously chuckles and you feel your cheeks warm up.

“then you did a good thing” you smile at him and both of you work silently, you continue to start the body of your lady and namjoon scribbles through many of those books.

you know you have to tell him, that your time here, that your time with him is limited and you know he deserves to know before both of you get too deep into this to get out.

“joon, there’s something you need to know” you stop drawing your pieces and he stops writing as well, putting his pen down to give you his undivided attention.

“i’m listening.” as confident as he sounds, you know that he’s nervous, it’s written all over his face.

“you know that i’m a transfer student, right?”

“right, and your course lasts for 2-3 years?” he looks so hopeful, you want to take back every word you’ve said so far and just let him believe that.

but you can’t do that anymore.

“no, it doesn’t” you look away from him and he frowns.

“does it last for longer then?” you hate this. you really hate this.

“i’m staying here only for a couple more months, like 4-5 now.” you purse your lips and stay silent as you wait for his reaction, he doesn’t say anything either, his frown gets deeper and you almost feel like you’re betraying him. which you are.

“i’m sorry, i just need a minute” he gets up from his seat and your eyes nervously follow his movement.

“of course, take your time” you mumble as he exits the art studio and you feel your heart sinking as soon as the door shuts close and you’re all alone again.

the motivation you had when you first started the night of sculpting, left your body as soon as the sound of the door clicking shut filled the air, your shoulders slump and your hands lay limp by your side, and before you know it, tears slide down your cheeks as you purse your lips.

you had just stopped getting used to being lonely but now that the feeling comes rushing back to you, you hate it.

-

you don’t hear from namjoon for the next two days and you’re left tossing right and left in your bed and trying to ignore the tears that stain your pillows.

you should’ve told him sooner, you should’ve let him know that even if you had time, it wouldn’t be much, but maybe he thought it was better to leave you while he could.

it’s not like it hurt any less for you though, because you really did like namjoon, you might even love him if you could convince yourself that you were capable of love, you have never felt the way with anyone else but namjoon, that feeling of just teetering over the edge before you completely get lost in him.

every time your phone buzzes, your heart leaps in your throat and you hurriedly grab it but it’s never him.

you lazily structure the body of your sculpture, messing up frequently and with each mistake, you feel more annoyed, not only with yourself, but with the world, for filling your life with warmth only to leave it chilling cold like it always has been.

and one more mistake later, you throw the arm of your lady on the ground, frowning at it with a groan escaping your throat.

you’re not handling this well.

then you remember namjoon’s words, take breaks when you aren’t motivated and give it your all when you are. you feel anything but motivated so you decide to take a ride down han river for an hour and come back to your sculpture.

you warily eye the door to your art studio, you won’t tell anyone but you’ve been secretly hoping for a certain someone to burst through the door clumsily with fumbling steps and words, and you’re left dejected every time it turns out to be anyone but him.

your lilac bike is the only thing in the world that shows you mercy, the only thing that gives you the freedom to let go and you’re grateful that you chose it and not some stuffy train or bus.

you hastily throw your bike to rest on the tree adjacent to your bench and soak in the cold wind that surrounds you, no one but a few people with pets pass in front of you and even with the grey skies showing signs of a heavy rain, and the wind that chills your bones, you have never felt more at peace in these past two days than right now.

maybe you should just start getting used to being lonely again.

it’s not that bad, at least not on this bench and bike you’ve grown so fond of.

“as much as i love seeing you here, i was trying to ignore you” you hear from behind you and you don’t turn around, you know that it’s namjoon, and you’re not sure if he’s being as serious as he sounds.

“i can leave” you mumble, getting up from the bench.

“no, stay.” he appears in front of you and sits you back down before settling beside you.

“it was stupid of me to think that i could forget you simply by ignoring you, especially when i don’t want to forget.” he doesn’t sound like he’s talking to you, more talking to himself but you still listen, with your heart caught in your throat and your palms unusually sweaty even in this cold weather.

“what are you trying to say?” you sound annoyed and you are slightly, because he keeps mumbling to himself and you don’t want to get your hopes high just for him to leave you on this bench.

“i’m saying that, i don’t care if our time is limited”.

there it is, hope.

with soaring hope in your chest and eyes, you finally look at him for the first time since he’s come here.

“i don’t care because we’ll just make the most out of our time, i want to know all of you before you leave me, it’s dangerous to say that i don’t care even if it hurts, but i don’t have it in me to be scared of that right now, i’m only scared of losing you while you’re still here.” you are at a loss of words as namjoon spills his feelings on you, and the hope that soared through your chest reaches the sky when you process what he says.

but how hurt will you be at the end?

you’ve been hurt before; you can handle it. at least you think you can.

because how could you ever say no to namjoon when he’s offering you a key to the treasure of memories you’ve always wanted to open?

“now, i understand why you write songs” is the only thing you can say with your choked up voice and teary eyes, and namjoon, like always, is there to wipe your tears away.

“i’ll keep writing if you listen to them, wherever you are.”

-

with each day that you spend with namjoon, it gets harder to part ways at the end, whether it be right at the front of your door or at the studio, saying goodbye, even for a few hours, felt painful and it was evident that namjoon felt the same way too.

the grip on your hand tightens as leaves fall around you two, you’re back near han river and namjoon is busy writing lyrics in front of you while you sketch away anything that comes to your mind. you don’t feel as frantic about your sculpture now that you’ve finished the outline of her body, you’re going somewhere with it and you couldn’t be happier.

“what do you think of this?” one thing you love about sitting by namjoon as he writes his lyrics, is how he constantly reaches out to you for your opinion, you feel very special that your opinion matters to him.

you take the notebook from his hands and glance over the lyrics, it’s just as tear-jerking but eye-opening as all of his songs are, you hand it back to him with a grin on your face and that’s how he knows that you love it.

“i wanted to ask you this, how did you feel when i didn’t talk to you for those few days?” the question is sudden but you’re not caught off guard, you knew it was only a matter of time before it would come up.

“lonely, just lonely.” was your honest answer.

“how did being lonely feel?” he asks as he continues scribbling on his notebook.

“familiar but not that bad” you know that your answer is straight forward enough to jerk namjoon’s scribbles to a pause. he looks guilty as he raises his head to you and you are taken aback when he takes your hand in his and rubs circles on the back of it.

“now that i’m here, you never have to get used to or settle for ‘not that bad’, okay?”

“okay.” you smile at him and he smiles back, you feel content, happy even that you could find someone here, that you found namjoon here.

-

as weeks go by, both you and namjoon get busier, him with a deadline for a demo and you with your sculpture, it’s only a matter of two months before you have to send it for evaluation and even as you are finishing your sculpture, your heart is beating a million times faster, both out of excitement and fear.

your lady looks like every bit of the royalty that she is, at least so far, the cloth that drapes along her body and flies in the air, looks delicate, soft to touch, easy to break, and you couldn’t be prouder about it.

you hear your phone ring and a large smile takes over your face when you see who’s calling.

“hey, i missed you” namjoon can hear the pout in your voice as you speak and he internally coos.

“you don’t have to anymore, i’m outside your studio, i was hoping to take you somewhere since we haven’t seen each other for a few days now.”

“you’re outside?” you glance out the window to see namjoon waiting in a car, he waves his hand when he catches you looking.

you look like crap right now.

“okay, give me a minute or five..” you trail off and cut the call before he can object.

you run from your studio to the washroom with your makeup bag, frantically powdering your oily face and touching up your faded lipstick, you swiped your hands across your hair and pray internally that it won’t poof up. and once you look half-decent, you pat your cheeks roughly and run back to the studio, shoving your makeup bag into a desk and grabbing your usual bag before running out the door.

“are you okay? you look a little out of breath” he asks as you slide into the car, while desperately trying to catch your breath, you hurriedly nod, pulling your seatbelt on.

“okay” he laughs and starts the car.

a calm conversation flows between you two as namjoon drives you to whatever mystery place he wants to take you and you couldn’t feel more at peace with your windows down, making your hair the mess you were afraid it would be but you didn’t care, with namjoon right next to you, nothing else seemed to matter and it didn’t, no one has mattered to you the way namjoon has.

the sun has almost set and you excitedly take pictures of the ever-changing colors of the sky and show them to namjoon who marvels over them with you.

you could get used to this.

you could totally get used to this.

namjoon stops his car right at a small lake, with trees all around you and you can’t hear the loud city or traffic anymore at all, it’s just you, him, rippling water and fresh air. you shiver as you get down the car with namjoon, tugging your jacket closer.

“normally, it would be ideal if it was summer right now but we can’t wait for that” namjoon tells you as he pushes his jacket off his body and you widen your eyes at him.

“you’re crazy, don’t tell me that we’re getting close to that” you point to the lake with quivering lips and namjoon shrugs, removing his boots and wincing at the cold ground.

“this is a bad idea; we will be sick for days.” you shake your head, refusing to let go of your jacket and namjoon laughs at your worried face as he pushes his jeans up.

“and after that, we will be fine. so, shall we?” namjoon reasons and extends his hand towards you, and all your worries about being sick, about probably catching a nasty cold for weeks that could hinder your work, fly away. you sigh in defeat and unwillingly push your jacket away, already cursing everything out and namjoon is having the time of his life, watching you struggle.

“don’t you think taking our clothes off would be better? we will just have wet clothes at the end of this” you grumble as you take your shoes off.

“if you want to take your clothes off, i don’t mind” comes namjoon’s cheeky reply and you pick your jacket from the hood of his car and throw it on his grinning face.

“you know that i didn’t mean it like that” you flush red, both because of the weather and other reasons that namjoon is very aware of.

“of course, come on now, it’s worse just standing here.” and before you fully prepare yourself, namjoon pulls you with him to the edge of the lake, dipping his toe in and shivering, encouraging you to do the same but you know that if you did that, you will be running back to the car.

so, with a smirk, you take your hand from namjoon and push him in, giggling when he screams and the splashing water lands around you, he comes back up, completely drenched as you double over in laughter, he shakes his head at you, ruffling his hair out and before you realize, he’s at the shore, leaning against it with his arms crossed and watching you with a small smile.

“are you going to leave me alone here?” he pouts at you.

“maybe” you tease him and then he’s jumping out of the water, coming towards you with a determined look on his face and you struggle to keep your eyes on his face because his clothes are literally transparent right now. and before you know it, you’re pushed into the water followed closely by namjoon who jumps in next to you.

you gasp for air as you come up, the cold water freezing your nerves but you’re laughing, you’re laughing out of the pure joy and adrenaline that flows through you and namjoon’s laughing with you.

and you don’t think you have been this happy in your life, in your whole entire life, being frozen to your bones is the happiest moment. you start to splash water on namjoon who retaliates by scooping up water and throwing it right on your face.

just when you’re about to start kicking water on him, his arms wrap around you, forehead pressing against yours with a sigh and you stop moving.

“i don’t want to leave this place.” he whispers to you, even with the cold weather, his breath is hot and his body heat is warming you slowly.

in this cold world, both figuratively and physically, namjoon made you feel like the warmest sunlight.

i don’t want to leave you, are the words right at the tip of your tongue.

“we’ll die if we don’t get out soon” you joke instead and namjoon laughs, pulling away to cup your face in his hands, fingers smoothing over your face and your eyes flutter close at the gentle action.

“is there really no way i can make you stay?” you want to cry at how sincere and desperate he sounds.

“no, but you can make my stay worthwhile like you are doing right now” your answer is honest but you’re just as desperate as he is, you don’t want to go home where you have nothing but a monotonous, color-less life but you have no choice.

how can you say goodbye to this face that made the cruel world warmer in every sense?

as a tear escapes your eye, namjoon doesn’t wipe it away like he usually does, he curls his fingers around your cheek and pulls you closer until you can feel all of him, and this time, he kisses your tears away, slowly, like he has all the time in the world and your hands curl around his arms, gripping him like he will go away if you don’t hold him tight enough all while the water flows steadily around you.

he pulls away with a grin and you smile back almost instantly.

namjoon has always thought that people were more capable of hurting than loving but looking at you, shining under the stars and smiling at him like he’s the only person in the world, he believes people are just as capable of loving as they are of hurting.

“i have wanted to do that for so long now” he mutters.

“why didn’t you?”

“it didn’t feel right until now.”

“was it okay..for you?” he asks with pursed lips and you giggle at his nervous expression.

“i don’t think i’ve felt more alive in my whole life.” he beams at your answer, patting your head making you giggle again.

“well, we can just keep doing that then” he exclaims cheerfully and you cheer with him, already reaching for his face.

and again, it’s just you, him and the flowing water that freezes your bones.

with namjoon, seoul doesn’t feel lonely.

not at all.

-

you are the most dressed up you’ve ever been since you’ve come to seoul, with a simple fitting black dress, minimal jewelry and strappy heels, you feel confident standing next to your falling lady which lays vertically on the ground.

you are finally done with her, all of her, her elegant face, her sheer clothes that fly in the air as she falls, her hands grabbing onto open air, she looks desperate to be saved but she looks beautiful even on the ground.

and you’re proud, for the first time in ages, you feel like you have created something that can truly convey what you feel.

bliss, is the only thing you feel even with your sculpture that’s done and ready to present to your teachers and other enthusiasts, but your attention is divided as you keep checking the door to see if namjoon will bust in because you really want him the first person to see it.

“here, joon, here!” you wave your hand frantically in the full studio to try and catch namjoon’s attention who just enters through the door, he locates you in the room and quickly makes his way over to you.

the first thing he does is give you a warm hug and pushes a bouquet of delicate flowers into your hands, grinning proudly at you, he looks so proud and he hasn’t even seen the sculpture.

“you ready?” you call out excitedly, circling around your sculpture which lays under a thin blanket. namjoon shifts on his feet with a huge smile on his face.

“just remember, me showing you this is like you playing your music for me” you inform him.

“i know i will love it either way” he shrugs and you pause from lifting the cloth, narrowing your eyes at him.

“how are you so sure?”

“it’s something you poured your heart into, so i will love it” he answers sincerely and you feel flustered with his compliment, you cough awkwardly and lift the cloth off your lady.

for a few seconds, namjoon doesn’t say anything or change his expression, he circles your lady silently with observant eyes and you shift on your feet, your lips feel dry and you feel nervous all over, because his opinion matters most to you in this city, maybe even in this world.

“it’s you” he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear.

“what do you mean?”

“you made yourself” he concludes and you blink at him, not knowing what to say.

“she’s beautiful even when she’s falling, even when she’s alone” he starts walking while he talks and stops right in front of you.

“just like you, you’re beautiful, however you are, you are the most beautiful.” you swallow the knot in your throat, no one has ever called you beautiful the way namjoon has.

“i don’t know what to say.”

“then don’t say anything, that’s alright” he lets out a breathy chuckle at your red cheeks.

“you know you don’t have to flatter me, i already like you” you tease and he shrugs.

“doesn’t hurt to get you to like me even more, right?” he winks at you and you playfully roll your eyes.

“but as much as i love you, that wasn’t my attempt to flatter you at all, you are just that good of an artist, and you are also the muse for my lyrics these days” he shyly admits the last part and you feel everything you have wanted to feel since day one of entering seoul.

namjoon truly did open your treasure of memories, and god, it will be so hard to leave him behind.

and he understood what you felt when you created her, you felt just as desperate, just as helpless as she did when you created her but you have handled it with as much grace as you could, namjoon was probably the only person who saw that.

“she is you, and i love her, like i love you.”

-

your presentation goes swimmingly, your teacher loved it, she took many pictures of it to show your potential to her superiors so they can extend your scholarship, and she did mention that the sculpture will be presented in a main art event. so that was definitely a win for you. your intrusive thoughts bother you from time to time, but they don’t hurt you as much as they used to, you don’t know if you have gotten stronger or your thoughts have gotten weaker, but you know that you’re better than you were just a few months ago.

your scholarship did not get extended, you expected that. your piece was good but some were just better, you didn’t beat yourself up like you thought you would, namjoon didn’t let you anyway.

speaking of namjoon, he’s all you have thought of now that your presentation is over, because he’s literally with you every day, putting aside his work to try and spend the last, few days with you, properly.

you’re currently sitting on the hood of his car, on top of a mountain that overlooks the city, he is stood in between your legs, feeding ice cream and listening intently to you as you keep rambling about how trust is so fickle.

“the thing is, if we’re wary of someone or a habit of theirs, it’s very easy to lose trust the second they mess up even the slightest, even if it isn’t fair to them, i just think that’s how people are.”

“you’re right, trust is very rare, you can’t say you trust someone easily, because trust is built on not time, not the relationship, but the people involved” he pauses to feed you and continues.

“i will always trust you though” you cheekily interrupt and he laughs.

“and i will always trust you.” he concludes and feeds you one last spoon while you smile gleefully at him. but then he sighs, stepping back from you and shaking his head lightly and you frown at his dejected stance.

“what is it, joon?”

“our time is almost up” he says with a sad smile and your heart tightens in your chest at his words, you know that your time is almost up, you’ve been trying to ignore that fact for so long now but you only have a day or so left with namjoon.

“before i leave” you scoot closer to him, breath stuttering at the close proximity you share with him as he eagerly waits for you to speak.

“i want you to take all of me” you have never felt as vulnerable as you do, whispering those words to namjoon under the moonlight that shines over you.

“you sure about that?” even with his eyes blown and throat closing around nothing, namjoon needs your permission to claim you.

“never been more sure about anything else in my life” you give him the permission he wants and who is he to say no to you?

-

waking up next to namjoon, in his room, wearing his t-shirt is something you wish you could do every single day but you’re out of time, you have been for a while.

“i don’t want you to leave” is the first thing namjoon says to you in the morning.

“i don’t want to leave you” is your answer, you’re no longer hesitant to say it. he gazes at you with such intensity because he really can’t believe he has to lose you just when he’s had all of you.

“how can i ever say goodbye to you?” he pulls you into him, burying his face into your neck and his sheets shift around you, it takes everything in you to not cling onto him for eternity.

“it’s okay, we had time” you mumble helplessly once you pull away from him.

“not a lot but we had time” you reassure him and this time, he’s the one who gets teary eyed. you feel your heart break at the way his face reddens as he keeps himself from crying.

“we’ll be okay” you whisper, wiping his tears as they escape his eyes, and hug him again, letting him cry into your shoulder, you feel your own sobs caught in your throat as namjoon cries on you.

“i’m sorry it had to be this way. i’m sorry i can’t stay.” you apologize with tears finally escaping your eyes and neither of you have the energy to wipe each other’s tears anymore, you only can cry and hope that time will be kind enough to stretch itself to keep you two together.

“i’m sorry i can’t come with you” comes his own apology.

“thank you for loving me, all of me” as he says that you break down in sobs because how will you ever find someone who loves you, truly loves you? you learned love with namjoon, you’re also learning goodbyes with him, but love was so easy, why were goodbyes so hard?

“thank you for being letting me be your muse.” you brush his cheeks with your fingers, trying to remember every feature of his before you have to let go. and he does the same, with sleepy but cautious eyes, he traces all of your features over and over again, like he’s forcing his body to keep you in his mind forever.

“is this really goodbye?” he asks one last time even if he knows the answer.

“i wish it wasn’t.”

-

it’s been six months since you left.

namjoon feels empty as he arranges the cups in his bakery, he sighs too often for it to be normal because every time he moves, his body reminds him of you, everything about you is etched onto every inch of him and he doesn’t think he will ever move on.

he still circles around the art studio from time to time, pathetically hoping to catch a glance of you working hard on your sculpture, looking up at him with a smile and then crashing into him to become one. he still visits han river just to recall every memory you’ve ever shared.

but he can’t bring himself to go to the lake, the lake where he kissed you like he’s always wanted to, he can’t go there knowing you will not be going with him.

he misses you. every nerve in him screams for you. his friends have been trying to get him to move on but namjoon doesn’t want to move on.

“welc-“ namjoon starts his formal greeting when he hears the door creak open, only for his mouth to hang open when he sees who is at the entrance, he races from behind the counter to rush to the entrance with wide eyes and confused but overjoyed grin.

“it’s actually you, oh my god” he whispers breathlessly as he reaches to touch your cheek and you smile tearfully at him. every night of hoping that you will be back in his arms feels worthwhile when you wrap yourself around him with a happy sigh. he caresses your hair, still not fully registering that you’re actually with him right now.

“so, what happened wa-“ you begin to explain why you’re back in the lively city of seoul and namjoon gently shushes you.

“doesn’t matter, you’re here, that’s all i care about” and with that, you melt yourself back into him, your fingers tracing patterns on his sweater, you missed him so much.

“we need to go to the lake again, i miss freezing with you” he jokes lightly but you know the desperation behind his words, he must have been waiting so long to take you.

“i am ready to freeze my bones with you again” you giggle and he pats your head with a fond smile.

“how long will you stay this time?” namjoon asks, and you notice fear in his voice, you lean back to give him your biggest smile yet. he has nothing to be scared of anymore and you don’t either.

“forever.”

could you (kiss it better)? - k.th.

genre: fluff (11.7k)

summary: will you ever be able to get over your crush on kim taehyung?

a/n: this marks the end of the fools universe (which can be read individually)! i’m very overwhelmed and excited for this final part, but i will miss writing this universe a lot, i struggled a lot with this one but i’m happy with the ending, thank you to every single one of you who’s read it, it means the world and more to me, i hope you enjoy this last part a lot <3

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“i don’t know what to say, kim taehyung” taehyung hangs his head low as his professor chews his ear out, he really should have just finished his assignment instead of being curious about jin’s love life.

“you are not even close to passing this semester, let alone having a decent grade, i know you take this subject as a minor but it still affects your overall score” taehyung nods at his words, wincing every now and then because he didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until his professor narrates it to him.

“you know that this could potentially harm your scholarship, right?”

“i am aware” taehyung shamefully replies and his professor sighs at him.

“taehyung, as your parents friend and well-wisher, you worked hard for this scholarship and i can’t just watch you throw it all away” taehyung absolutely hates when his professor gets personal with him.

why not just lecture him and let him go?

he can take the harshest words without feeling a lot but the second it gets personal; he feels guilty for slacking off.

and taehyung hates feeling guilty.

“because i know how much this will hurt your record in the long run, i will pass you this one time, only once” as soon as those words leave the professor in a disappointed sigh, taehyung internally cheers but it’s short-lived. someone enters the same classroom and taehyung doesn’t know who they are which is weird considering he knows all of his classmates. at least he thought he knew everyone. he carefully eyes the new person in the room, with furrowed eyebrows and pouted lips, trying to identify her.

“ah, y/n, right on time as always” so her name is y/n.

taehyung doesn’t understand why she looks so nervous but he just assumes she’s just one of those people who doesn’t like being around people.

“you asked me to come, sir?” you trail off, already feeling a blush crawling at the back of your neck with taehyung in the same room.

it’s no secret (to yourself) that taehyung has been your crush since you started university and saw him having a playful banter with the professors and just seeming to have a blast with his friends, he was simply the coolest person you saw, and that led to a hopeless crush on your side, but you also know that he has no clue about you.

and suddenly being in the same room with him, you feel flustered and intimidated, not in a bad way, more so in a ‘wow, you’re even more gorgeous up close’ way and your hands don’t keep still, they keep shaking with a mind of their own and your head is nothing but a fumbled mess.

“yeah, your assignment was perfect, you covered every important point but still managed to make it easy to read, keep it up, y/n.” you stay silent with the praise you get as your professor hands your graded assignment with a smile on his face and you bow before taking it from him.

A.

you sigh in relief and look up to notice taehyung giving you a weird expression, and you didn’t know what to make of it, you were sure you didn’t look that ugly today nor was your hair a mess, today had been a good day, looks-wise for you but then again, you imagine that a guy like taehyung has higher standards.

taehyung, on the other hand, just couldn’t understand how you don’t react to the praise or the high grade, if it was him who got an A, he would be busy getting smashed in some bar but your nonchalance confuses him.

whatever, he’s got a failed semester to care about right now.

“and right, you asked me if you could tutor someone for extra credit?” the professor asks you and you nod in response, you need that extra credit for your scholarship to hold for the next few semesters, and a little extra money from it wouldn’t hurt you either.

“yes, i did”

“what about him?” the professor points to kim taehyung and your eyes widen, but it seems like you’re not the only one taken aback because taehyung immediately turns to the professor with a frown on his eyes.

oh, he does not like the idea.

you can’t help but be a little disappointed when he looks that annoyed over this.

he doesn’t even know you so you can’t exactly blame him but his reaction makes you internally wince.

“you didn’t even ask me” taehyung complains noisily to the professor and you just keep your head low, deciding to talk only when you’re spoken to.

“you really don’t have a choice here kim taehyung, you are failing and only passing because i passed you, and the least you can do to improve is get a tutor, i would be grateful if i were you, y/n is one of the best students we have.” you feel a little bashful with all the praise you’re getting, the professor is always this way with you but you can’t take it gracefully with your crush is standing right there.

but it’s just dawning on you that you have to tutor him, your crush, actually spend time with him, help him out and improve his grade, spending time with him is the only thing you could think of right now though even if it both terrifies and excites you the slightest bit.

mostly terrified though.

“fine” taehyung surrenders with a not-so-subtle glare thrown to the professor who really couldn’t give less of a shit by the looks of it.

“good, you two can work out a schedule together” the professor says dismissively, grabbing the papers off his desk and his bag, nodding at you two and leaving the room.

the room felt suffocating with taehyung’s heavy mood and your inability to defuse it, you are supposed to discuss the plan with him but you’re not going to initiate it, you don’t want to seem that desperate, besides you think it’s better to leave him when he looks annoyed, you don’t want to accidentally piss him off.

so, you quickly turn towards the door and speed walk out of the room, taking a deep breath and leaning against a wall outside the room, you didn’t expect this from the end of your day. seeing taehyung from anywhere closer than ten feet away is definitely not what you expected and your heart is still pounding from being in the same room as him, you feel warm all over and you don’t know if you feel elated or embarrassed.

-

you groan and take your glasses off to rub at the bridge of your nose, classes were a drag and you have work piled on for the weekend, it’s not like you had any plans but it would have been nice if you could rest for a bit, and the lunch in front of you isn’t helping at all. it doesn’t look appetizing and smells old, you are not even sure if you can eat it.

“what’s up?” you hear from right beside your ear making you gasp and flinch, moving away from the sound and your glasses slide off the table, making a clattering sound that makes you flinch more.

“woah, calm down” you lift your head to see taehyung standing there with a huge smile and your eyes widen, he picks your glasses up and holds them out to you, you take them back with shaky hands and put it on yourself.

when did he get here? you usually notice when he’s in a room.

“you scared me” you mumble and push your glasses up, unable to look straight at him for more than a few seconds, you don’t think you can handle that, so, just imagine the way your heart jumps to your throat when taehyung takes a seat right beside you.

“didn’t mean to do that, sorry” he smiles brightly as he leans his face on his propped-up hand and sits wide-legged in front of you, his knees are brushing over your legs and if he noticed, he doesn’t care about it but you do, you care about the way your heart slips continuously when his skin carelessly touches yours.

he definitely looks like he is in a better mood than he was a few days ago.

“it’s okay, did you need something?” you look down at your food, picking at it with a small whine caught in your throat as you wait for him to answer.

“we need to discuss our schedule” you raise your eyebrows at him, you thought because he never got in contact with you again, that he simply just didn’t want it and you brushed it off, thinking it was probably better for you too, your crush on him was embarrassingly huge and you know how nervous you will get, so you were relieved when he didn’t try to contact you.

“i thought you weren’t doing it” your response is as nervous as you feel.

“i wasn’t but i don’t have a choice” he chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. he looks ridiculously attractive in his simple oversized t-shirt and cream-colored trousers and his awkward habit is endearing, your cheeks flush as you look away from him and back to your food.

“can we talk about this after i’m done eating?” you never really prepared yourself to have a conversation with him so you just wish he leaves you alone for now and comes back when you’re not feeling and looking like shit.

“you’re going to eat this?” taehyung murmurs in disbelief, side glancing the less-than-appetizing food in your tray.

“i don’t have a choice” it feels weird to repeat his words to him but from what you can see, he doesn’t think too much about it which is a huge relief.

“yes, you do” he says with a sigh, getting up and you look up at him with scrunched eyebrows.

“you’re coming to lunch with me and don’t worry, it’s my treat, one of many now that you’re my tutor” he grins easily at you, grabbing your backpack from the seat and eagerly waiting for you with bright eyes and his entire posture is relaxed, like having lunch with a stranger is totally okay with him.

is this what extroverts are like?

why was he so comfortable with you? this is your second time meeting and you didn’t even speak directly the first time.

it didn’t seem like he was asking you to come either, more like just waiting for you to join him, so you get up with a stammer in your step, anything that is not your college lunch is something you would welcome happily and lunch with taehyung doesn’t seem like a bad idea, not yet.

but you’re nervous, though one thing that saves you is that you have always been good at hiding how you feel.

taehyung smiles at you one last time, so easily, so beautifully, like it wouldn’t make you stutter, before turning around and leading the way, with your backpack slung over his shoulder, you feel too shy to ask for it and that you will probably stutter through your words when you speak to him, so you just silently follow him out of the cafeteria, ignoring the weird looks you two got on the way out.

you cautiously step into the classy bakery that taehyung takes you to, he tried to make conversation on the way but your answers were so short that even you felt embarrassed, taehyung though, didn’t look like he cared, if he found you awkward, he didn’t show it and you were grateful to him for that.

“namjoon hyung is the manager here, so i can get us a pretty discount” he winks at the end of the sentence, obviously as a joke but you can’t help how flustered you feel with a simple wink.

you are eating lunch with your crush who you thought was way out of your league, is something you have dreamed about, you never actually expected to sit across taehyung as he talks animatedly about how good the coffee and desserts are here.

judging by the fruity and addictingly sweet smell that fills the air around you, you don’t question his praise, your own mouth waters at the thought of the pretty pastries you see lined up right at the counter and the coffee bean smell is so soothing, you might have just found your favorite place that wasn’t your apartment.

a waiter (you can’t believe he’s a waiter with how handsome he was) comes up to you both but taehyung already seemed to know the guy who groaned as soon as he saw taehyung, taehyung leans back lazily in his seat with an ever-present grin on his face.

“why do you come back with a new girl every week?” the pouty guy whines at taehyung and your eyes widen with your head still down, so you’re not the first one he’s brought here, it was foolish of you to think so as well and taehyung playfully swats at the guys arm, his grin unwavering and you only purse your lips at the empty table.

god, you want to run away.

“order whatever you want” he gestures to the menu and you quickly scan over it, a low squeal in your throat when you see that they have your favorite, pho and fudge brownies. you lift your head to tell taehyung to see him in an animated conversation with the waiter, nudging him from time to time and just looking like he was having the time of his life, like he always does, you lightly tap the table to get his attention and he immediately abandons the conversation and leans over, making you move back at the sudden movement, he only seems amused by your reaction.

“you’re a little quiet, so i just wanted to listen to you better, what did you decide on?” he explains simply and you can’t help but gaze into his eyes as he keeps them steady on you, for someone like him, eye contact isn’t a problem, isn’t a big deal but it makes your heart pound, you nod slowly and mumble your order, sinking back into your seat.

“excellent choice, pho and brownies for two, and is it alright if i order the drinks?” he turns to you for confirmation and once he’s received a mumble of agreement, turns back to the waiter.

“two peach iced teas” and with that, the waiter leaves but not without smacking taehyung one last time. taehyung pretends that he’s in a lot of pain and winces childishly which has you holding back a smile as the waiter shakes his head at him before disappearing to the back, your eyes curiously follow him to the counter where all the desserts are laid out.

taehyung is quick to catch your wandering eyes and finds it funny that since he’s met you, the only time he’s seen you smile is when you’re looking at desserts.

“you want to take a look?” taehyung walks towards the counter, which has you trailing behind him. you slowly take in the view of all the chocolate pastries that could be in your stomach and taehyung stays right at your back, watching you move around excitedly and admire them.

“are you into baking or something?” he finally asks after five minutes of you moving around him with big, fascinated eyes.

“no, i just like to eat” your answer comes out before you can even think about it and you only realize it when taehyung breaks into a chuckle at your words, making you shuffle on your feet, clearing your throat and looking back at the especially good-looking tiramisu.

“are you always this quiet or is it just with me?” the question takes you off guard, and you think taehyung is upset but there is no hint of frustration or annoyance on his face, only genuine curiosity.

“i don’t like to talk much, it’s nothing against you i promise” you try to reassure and be as honest as you could.

“that’s a relief” he smiles and walks back to the table where your food is waiting, you walk back with a bounce to your step because you haven’t been this hungry in a while. and as soon as you sit down, you reach for your steaming bowl of pho and sigh in bliss.

taehyung notices your exaggerated reactions to your food and simply smiles to himself.

something about you, he likes it, he doesn’t mind being the only one talking the entire time, he doesn’t mind how you only seem to talk when spoken to, it’s new to him, he’s always surrounded by people just as extroverted as him, so this isn’t something he’s used to but taehyung doesn’t mind.

taehyung doesn’t mind at all.

-

you walk home with rosy cheeks that day, because you can finally confirm that taehyung is just as charming, just as care-free as he looks, and he’s very good company, usually people get annoyed that conversations with you feel one-sided and you don’t blame them but it’s freeing with how comfortable taehyung tried to make you feel.

it isn’t very good news to the crush you already have on him; you feel like it’s grown ten-fold. and it’s only the second time meeting him, you are nervous for your poor heart which jumps with every glance he gives you.

and with the schedule you two planned, consisting of meeting up almost every other day because taehyung simply wants his grades to not be on the ground, you are sure that your heart only will go through so much more.

your nerves don’t calm down as your legs bounce up and down below the table at the library you’re sat at, your lip hurts from how much you’ve bit it as you anxiously look around for taehyung who is yet to show up for your first tutoring session. you can’t look like this in front of him so you’re doing whatever you can to be as normal as you can be.

you have to get over him at some point, you can’t tutor him while giving him heart-eyes.

“hey!” a bright greeting comes from behind you and you almost fall out of your seat, your elbow slips on the table and your chin hits the table, as if scaring you at lunch back then wasn’t bad enough, you begrudgingly think and groan at the pain on your chin.

taehyung does nothing to help and just sits down beside you with a happy hum, his books dropping in front of him in a heap and his smile doesn’t budge even when you glare at him while rubbing your chin.

“do you have to scare me every time?” you whine, your chin already becoming sore, you’re in enough pain to not have the mind to worry about how stupid you just looked. he simply shrugs at you.

“do you have to get scared every time?” comes his almost immediate retort and how will you argue with that logic while processing how close these library seats are next to each other? your reply comes with a roll of your eyes, though you’re sure that your cheeks are as warm as the sun blaring outside.

taehyung finds absolute satisfaction and amusement from your reaction and it shows in the way he leans back proudly in seat as you pretend to jot down notes, at this point, you don’t even know what you are writing anymore but you’re writing.

suddenly, just as you’re about to finally stop acting like you’re busy and get back to him, your glasses are snatched from your face and you don’t even have to look to see who took it. taehyung twirls the glasses in his hands with a smug grin, and then puts them on, wiggling his eyebrows and pouting every now and then. and you feel your heart burst with how cute he looks.

if it was anyone else, you are sure you would have hated it. but it’s taehyung and you don’t think you could ever hate him.

you watch with curious eyes as he gets all serious and grabs a book, writing with an invisible pen furiously. you tilt your head because you don’t quite understand what he’s doing.

it takes quite a second to dawn on you that he’s actually imitating you.

“look at me, i’m y/n, star student” he squeals in a high-pitched voice that most definitely is not yours.

your mouth falls open in offence, and even before you could think about it, you swat his arm with a loud complaint leaving your lips, as he laughs at you, pushing your hand off and continuing to act like he was you. you groan and throw your head back in annoyance, though you really don’t feel as annoyed, you just feel a hundred times more comfortable with taehyung now.

after a string of complaints from you, taehyung finally gives your glass back but instead of just handing them back to you, he slides them on your face himself and you feel every bit of you twisting and turning at the simple action. you cough awkwardly into your hand and turn away from him, moving your books out of the way so you could get started.

“which subject do you want to start with?” as a response, taehyung drops a thick book right in front of you.

art history.

tricky but you can work with it.

“okay, how much do you know already?” you ask him and he thinks with lips pushed into a pout.

“can i be honest?”

“of course.” you nod at him.

“i know nothing, i slept through all the classes” he admits sheepishly and you giggle a little at his confession.

of course, not to be creepy or anything but you knew about this, you have unconsciously turned to see him in class more than a few times, only to see him passed out on his bench with his backpack covering his head.

“that’s alright, one thing that’s helped me with art history is memorizing it all like a story” you let him in on your secret, you always envision history like a story book, or a tv show that you’re invested in, thinking up characters in actual scenes, it helps you remember a lot better than just book material.

so, you tell him the same thing, you start explaining in brief various parts of print culture, origins of different eras, the rise of modern art that we usually see today, and artists that revolutionized the world of art, all in the form of a movie that taehyung intently listens to.

you didn’t expect him to listen as well as he did, but he stays quiet for the most part, politely lifting his hand to ask questions like he was in an actual class which made you grin the first time and taking notes when something seemed complicated.

by the time you’re done, it’s almost dinner time and the library is much emptier than it was before but taehyung still looks excited to learn more. it’s endearing how he listens to you like nothing else matters and makes you feel the tiniest bit special.

“that’s it for today” you announce with an exhausted smile on your face and taehyung stretches his sore limbs while yawning.

“that was a lot but it is more fun when you explain it” he drops the compliment casually, no regards to how that makes your nerves dance in sheer excitement.

“i’m glad you enjoyed it” you mumble shyly while packing your books into your bag. you get up, throwing it over your shoulder and look at taehyung only to see him already looking at you.

“i’ll go now, goodbye taehyung” your voice unwillingly pitchy at the end.

“goodbye, y/n” he repeats in the same tone as you and you roll your eyes yet again while walking away from his gleeful laughter and right outside the library, you break into the biggest grin ever, the butterflies in your stomach raging and tumbling over themselves because you simply can’t believe that the last couple of hours are real.

how will you ever get over him?

-

you groan as you plop down in your seat, you slept weird last night and your neck cramp still hasn’t gone away, your body aches all over, you don’t even know why, walking feels like you’re carrying a million stones and honestly, you would be anywhere but here if you had the chance.

there’s still a good 20 minutes left before class starts so you rest your head on the table and pray that you aren’t sick, you still have taehyung’s class today and it would be rude to cancel on only your fifth session with him.

just then, taehyung walks into the classroom, seemingly bustling with endless energy, surrounded by his friends who are just as bright and loud as he is, and with your head still on the table, you admire him. he’s wearing this red hoodie today and his hair looks very soft beneath, a quick thought that he looks perfect to cuddle comes to you and you want to slam your head on the table to stop thinking about him.

he suddenly glances around the room, as if he’s looking for someone and you try to lift your head from the table to look away but you feel way too weak to do anything so he catches your gaze, his face breaking into a huge grin as he waves at you gleefully, you slowly wave back, mentally wanting to disappear.

and you think that’s it, he will go to his seat and you will have to finish this class while looking like you’re going to die any minute.

but you were so wrong.

as soon as your hand drops back on the table, taehyung starts walking towards you, where his usual seat is definitely not there and stands right beside you with a worried look on his face.

“oh, hey” you try to cover your face a little more with your hoodie and your heart gets caught in your throat when taehyung pulls a chair to sit right by your side. you look like crap right now and the last person you need seeing you like this, is kim taehyung.

“you don’t look okay” he mutters with scrunched eyebrows and before you can say anything, he presses his hand to your forehead and your eyes go wide as he flips his hand and holds it there for a second.

“you’re literally burning, how long have you had a fever for?” he pulls his hand away and you finally feel like you can breathe again.

“i don’t know, woke up sick” you strain your answer, your head lulling back to fall on the bench, now that he’s confirmed you have a fever, you feel even sicker.

“come on, let’s go” taehyung gets up suddenly, gathering the books on your table and shoving them into your bag, then taking your backpack and his in one hand, looking at you expectantly.

“go where?” you frown up at him, class is going to begin in 10 minutes now, where could you possibly go without missing it?

“i’ll take you home” your mouth drops open at his words.

“but class is going to start” you try to reason but get interrupted with your own cough and he only looks more concerned.

“you shouldn’t care about class with a fever like that” he scolds lightly, taking your wrist and helping you up to stand, and you almost fall down in a slump again if it weren’t for him holding you.

maybe you are sicker than you thought.

“what will we even tell the professor?” you almost shout at him as he pulls you towards the back exit of the classroom, and when the two of you are out, he checks to see if there’s anyone else in the hallway and turns to you with a coy smile.

“who said we’re telling them?” is the last thing he says to you before he ducks and runs, pulling you with him but you don’t stop him or complain anymore, you know that it’s not only because you’re sick everywhere, maybe the thought of skipping classes shouldn’t have excited your tired body that much but the thought of skipping classes with taehyung made your body flush in new-found energy.

so, you let him pull you all the way out of campus, ducking here and there when you see a teacher or person in charge, giggling at each other with wide eyes only to shush each other the next second whenever there was a narrow escape, whispering your address to him part-by-part and him having to support your sick body from time to time.

even if it was wrong, and something you promised to yourself that you would never do, skipping classes with taehyung, with his hand securely around your waist (that had goosebumps trailing on your skin), even just as an acquaintance to you, felt better than anything you’ve experienced in your life. hell, he didn’t even feel like an acquaintance anymore, whether it was because of your raging crush on him, or just taehyung being taehyung, you’re not sure.

the pure adrenaline in your body had you gasping for more, more of what?

you are not sure.

you two eventually make it to taehyung’s car in the parking lot. he gently pushes you into the passenger seat and slides into the driver's seat, only to find you knocked out with your head on the window. and with one final look at your peaceful face, he drives away with a fond smile of his own. taehyung doesn’t know what he’s feeling either.

and the next time you open your eyes, you feel just as sick and it’s late afternoon and you’re in your bed, still in the clothes you wore to college, you sit up too quick, instantly whining at the throbbing in your head while looking around with confused eyes.

when did you even get home?

“oh good, you’re awake” taehyung emerges at your door, seemingly out of nowhere and you jump in your place, clutching at your heart as you look at him with a gulp.

“w-what are you doing here?” you ask as he stays at the entry to your room.

“you fell asleep in the car and i didn’t want to wake you so i found keys in your bag and brought you up here, i hope that’s alright” he looks nervous for the first time since you’ve met him as he waits for your reaction with pursed lips. he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with the situation, he just couldn’t wake you when you were both sick and looking as cute as you did in your lilac hoodie.

“did you..carry me? all the way up here?” you mumble worriedly.

“of course, how else would i bring you?”

wow, he says it so simply.

“you really didn’t have to do all of that, i’m sorry if it was a lot of trouble, i really appreciate it, thank you taehyung” you say with disbelief clear in your voice and with your jaw slightly slackened because you really can’t think of anything but a mental image of taehyung having to carry you because your lazy ass fell asleep in his car and didn’t get up. and you really want to bury yourself six feet under.

“can i come in?” he asks, polite as ever and you don’t even think before nodding, he slowly walks inside, sitting right by the edge of your bed, maintaining distance between you as if he didn’t put you on the bed himself.

he reaches forward and puts his hand against your forehead, and you feel your breath being taken away just like the first time and he hums while pulling it away.

“it’s better than before but sleep for the rest of today” he instructs you and gets up from the bed, you don’t want him to leave. something in you wants to make taehyung stay by your side but you don’t have anything that will make him stay so you just watch him walk himself out of your room.

“i got a few pills, they’re in your kitchen, you shouldn’t move around right now but take them once you get up, and don’t worry about it, i need my tutor to be healthy and well, don’t i?” he winks at the end of it as if to finally nail your heart to him only and then turns to leave with a loud goodbye and a wave of his hand.

you go to the kitchen after he leaves and just like he said, pills for headache and body aches are spread out on your tiny dinner table, along with packets of instant soup. you feel overwhelmed because even people who are close to you, have never done so much for you and taehyung did, taehyung did all this after just meeting you a few times.

and you’re left, head in hands, with so much to process that you don’t know where to begin.

-

taehyung never came late to your tutor sessions or waste too much time, sure he still fooled around, his favorite thing to do being constantly taking your glasses off you and playing with them whenever he gets too bored or snatching your books away and forcing you to talk about anything that was not related to your studies.

you still felt bashful the first day you met after the whole sick episode, but he didn’t even bring it up, just continued with everything like it didn’t even happen which you were grateful for, though a little disappointed, because that is the most anyone has ever done for you and you wanted to thank him properly even if he said that lunch at his favorite place would suffice for him. but you were also sure that you would end up accidentally confessing to him if you brought it up. so, you just never brought it up either.

you talked a lot, mostly about things that had nothing to do with subject but you enjoyed them, taehyung valued and respected your opinions, actually listened to you when you talked so you were comfortable to be not as quiet as you usually are, still shy but holding a conversation as much as you could and taehyung would pick up anything you left, starting a whole new conversation with whatever, you handed him.

it wasn’t hard for your crush on him to only escalate further, not when he looked as good as he did from a side angle, it was honestly unfair that he looked stunning with a simple shirt and trousers. he looked good in anything, and what he looked like during your studying sessions, was something you always daydreamed about.

like right now.

“are you even listening to me?” a hand waves in front of your face, and you jerk in your place, quickly sitting up straight.

maybe you shouldn’t daydream about him when he’s beside you.

“um of course, i was” you lie easily with a firm nod to make it further believable but taehyung is sadly too good at detecting honesty or lack thereof. so, when he continues to stare at you, a way of making you say it yourself, you can do nothing but oblige.

“alright, i didn’t listen to you, what were you talking about?” with your admittance, taehyung leans back in his chair with a smirk.

“what is it?” you urge him once again and he shrugs.

“you know, we started with art history, right?”

“yeah, we’ve almost covered everything, at least i think so” you tilt your head as you mumble those words, reaching for your planner where all the topics are written, and you start looking through them to see which ones you still have to cover.

then the planner is snatched from your hands, and you follow the planner with a whine, bending over your chair to reach it and it isn’t until you feel someone way too close to you that you pause to see your position. you are half leaned over his chair and one wrong move could end up with you on top of him, you immediately sit back in your chair, tightening your fingers on your cardigan and frantically pushing your glasses up.

taehyung, thankfully doesn’t look uncomfortable, maybe a little shocked with how wide his eyes were but that was it, he quickly recovers and gives an easy smile.

“i have a test tomorrow” why is he smiling about that? doesn’t he hate tests? you quirk an eyebrow as his smile only grows bigger.

“how do you think it will go?”

“about that, if i do well, don’t you think that, as my tutor, you owe me something, a reward of sorts?”

so, that is why he’s smiling so big.

normally you would refuse blatantly and move on, but you can never say no to taehyung and you want to at least hear him out before you turn him down.

“if you do well” you emphasize and he waves his hand like he isn’t worried about that, but you are worried about what he would ask of you.

“come to a party with me” his request is simple enough.

and you’ve been to parties, only to completely hate it unless you got drunk enough to forget it all the next morning. though it has been quite a while since you’ve been to one.

a party with taehyung? taehyung, who probably knew every single person in the room while you don’t know anyone at all?

“only if you get an A” is your predicament, taehyung has improved a lot but not enough to get an A which is why your predicament is perfect, you’re not saying no but you’re not saying yes either.

but taehyung looks confident, with a light shrug to your rule like it didn’t mean anything at all, it only scares you a little bit that maybe your rule will be useless at the end.

“i’ll let you know when i get the grade”

-

“i got an A!” comes taehyung’s cheerful voice through the phone and the first thing you feel is pride bloom through you because he must have worked so hard to get that A, you were sure it wasn’t easy at all for him and the second thing you feel is dread, because this means you have to go to the party now.

“you did great, taehyung” you sincerely reply and you hear his sigh of happiness which makes you smile too.

you’re happy that he’s happy.

“you know what this means right?” his words laced with cockiness that come from his first ever A.

“i’ll never leave you at the party, you can get as drunk as you want and i will be your ride” he says almost immediately after as if he knew that you were going to find some way to get out of this, and you internally groan because he’s made all the promises that could convince you.

and like mentioned before, you can never say no to taehyung.

“when is it?”

-

“you look great!” taehyung compliments you as soon as you get into his car and you feel yourself freeze at his good-natured comment, only being able to shyly nod at him.

but if you had to choose on who looks good here, it would definitely be taehyung.

he was wearing a fashionably torn t-shirt with a leather jacket and tight dark grey jeans which had you feeling even more flustered than usual, he was usually attractive but today, you were sure that he was planning to take someone home, it would be a shame if he didn’t. he hands you his pale blue hoodie to hold, saying he brought it if he ever needed a change and trusted you to keep it away from drinks that can stain it, gives you one last smile and drives away.

the party was roaring even from the outside, people littered around the lawn, holding their drinks and you could hear the music all booming under your feet, you nervously pulled on the hem of your black dress as you went closer to the addictive but disgusting smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies.

so many people.

taehyung gripped both your arms on the sides as you gripped his hoodie tight in your hold, and he walked behind you, silently guiding your steps and greeting people joyfully on the way, it was a shame that you could only hear his happy voice but not see him under these alluring lights, you were sure that he looked better than ever under these blue and purple lights that made everyone look untouchable and beautiful.

“who’s the girl, taehyung?” someone shouts at him and you keep your gaze steady, not even wanting to turn around to see who yelled it, you anxiously wait for taehyung’s answer.

“my tutor” he yells back with a grin and you assume that the person has gone when taehyung gets right back to pushing you two through the crowds, apparently not noticing how your shoulders immediately slouch at his answer and how you aren’t even walking anymore, just being pushed around by everyone.

and for the first time since you’ve met taehyung, you feel disappointed.

you know now that your growing crush on taehyung will only end in your heartbreak.

he could have said you were a friend, or even an acquaintance, he’s been in your apartment for fucks’ sake, you would have been okay with anything really but the way he described you just made you feel so…unimportant. like you held no significance in his life, just another person for him to forget as he goes to spread his arms around the rest of the waiting world.

and you can’t be mad at him because you know it’s true, you are just tutoring him, he’s only doing this because he has to and not because he wants to, and as soon as this obligation expires, so will your time with him.

“hey, you okay?” you feel him whisper against your ear, hands still tight around your arms and you’re suddenly too aware of how close you two are, it hurts, being this close to him and not being able to call him anyone special to you, hurts a lot more than you imagined.

so, you shake his grip off, if you aren’t important to him, you will make him nobody in your life as well. you have to.

“yeah, i’m fine, where are the drinks?” try as you might, your voice just didn’t carry the softness it always has and even if you tried to conceal your sour mood, it didn’t work because taehyung immediately raised his eyebrows but shows where the drinks are anyway. you walk away from him, not really bothered anymore that you didn’t know anyone here, you just wanted to do exactly what you planned for.

drink and forget.

because taehyung just handed you rejection on a silver platter.

and you can’t take it gracefully when he’s right beside you. so, you had to go away before you could remember all the things you liked about him that could keep you pining.

taehyung felt…weird? he didn’t understand why you suddenly stopped talking to him in that sweet tone that comes naturally to you, he also doesn’t understand why you’re walking away from him to fend for yourself in a party where you don’t know anyone, he doesn’t know if he has done something to upset you and he felt…guilty.

taehyung felt guilty for a reason he didn’t know.

and taehyung hated feeling guilty.

to shake his own weird feeling off, he disappears into the crowd, to find anything or anyone who can drown his guilt away.

after a few shots of straight vodka, you find that you are not getting drunk at all, it’s either your overwhelming emotions that keep you from completely losing it or just your high tolerance.

it sucks because no drink is stronger in this place, you want to go home, you want to go back to when you didn’t come to this party where taehyung called you nothing to him. while he didn’t say that exactly, he definitely implied it. just then, you see him approaching you with a girl on his arm, no surprise there and you almost rolled your eyes at how predictable he could be.

“we’re playing this game; thought you would like to join?” taehyung trails off.

how nice of him to include his charity case for the game, you bitterly think to yourself but get up to go with him anyway, you can’t leave until he decides to go so you might as well play some game instead of wasting more alcohol that does nothing for you. so, you hop out of your seat and walk to him, greeting the girl next to him, you can be bitter to him but not to this girl who’s done nothing, she smiles back and then you’re leaving the kitchen.

you don’t say anything as you walk behind him into a living room where people sit in a circle, it’s noisy, there’s a bottle in the middle and you hate that you know what’s going on here.

it looks like a recreation of your middle school birthday party.

taehyung sits down, patting the spot next to him, and you look around to see if there’s place anywhere else but with nowhere else, you sit down beside him and the girl who he has with earlier is not around you anymore. he still looks at you, confused as ever and once you get comfortable in your position, he takes his hoodie from your hands and covers your bare legs with it which has you looking away with a red face.

he was making it so hard to get over him.

by the time you look back at the circle, it starts slowing down and your jaw drops open when it falls on you and taehyung.

everyone starts cheering at the bottle claiming its very first victims, and you never feel more out of place with people you don’t even know cheering you on to kiss taehyung and as for taehyung, he has a huge smile on his face which has you squinting with confusion at him. he calmly takes the hoodie from your lap, lifting it and pausing when he sees your face.

“trust me?” he whispers to you; his voice is almost drowned out in the loud music and people around you but you still hear it.

you shouldn’t trust him, you don’t want to but you don’t have a choice in this room full of unfamiliar people, so you just give him a meek nod which no one else notices.

then he drops the hoodie over the top of your heads, your bodies moving closer on their own accord, his palm now resting on your bare thigh and you’re face to face with the man you can’t get over no matter what you do. the heavy hoodie resting on your heads forces them closer as well, you can feel his breath on your cheek and he smells addictive this close, like cologne and pure sin with candy on his breath.

will he kiss you?

taehyung doesn’t say anything, just looks at you like he’s trying to figure you out, like he needs to figure you out, for the first time, he doesn’t look as confident, he doesn’t look full of life, just looks at you with such vulnerability like he’ll give you his heart if you stay under for too long, and your nerves and body are too frozen to even dare to look back at him.

after a few seconds which really felt like eternity, he pulls the hoodie from on top of your heads, the cold rush of air pushing you two apart, baring you to the waiting people in the room who roar and cheer louder than ever when taehyung smirks at them, you know that he’s just doing it for show, he didn’t actually end up doing anything at all even if you wished hard that he would.

but then you feel eyes on you, speculating, judging, confused eyes all over you because who are you and why did kim taehyung pull you under a hoodie when he usually just kisses people in front of everyone? you hate the attention, you hate the amusement at your flushed state in them, and you can do nothing but revert your gaze to the floor.

“stop making her uncomfortable and spin the bottle already” an annoyed voice emerges from the crowd and you snap your head to look at where it came from, to see a girl who glares at the people staring at you, they quickly look away at her words, reverting their attention back to the game, and when she catches your gaze, you send her a grateful look and she smiles back at you.

and you feel better.

then you’re reminded of the man beside you, who covers your legs once again with his hoodie and you feel your face heating up all over as you replay the events that happened a few minutes ago.

that was so intimate.

you pull at the hoodie resting on your lap, trying not to think of how much more gorgeous taehyung looked up close, losing all interest in the game still being played around you, you also feel slightly insulted that taehyung would do all that but not kiss you, you know that he wouldn’t kiss you but it was embarrassing to be so close and not do anything at all.

did you repel him that much?

“let’s get you another drink” taehyung mutters, getting up from his sitting position and dusting his jeans off.

“game’s not over” you point to the still spinning bottle in the middle and he shrugs.

“i don’t wanna play it anymore” you don’t either, so you leave the circle as well, more people replacing your seats as quick as lightning. taehyung hands you a drink once you get into the kitchen and no words are exchanged between you two as you stand against the counter, sipping your drink and him on the other end of the counter, not even drinking anything, just looking into empty space.

the silence is suffocating, it’s new for the two of you, especially new to you because taehyung never seems to shut up but he isn’t uttering a word.

“is that kim taehyung?” comes a loud, dare you say annoying voice with a chuckle from the entry of the kitchen, taehyung quickly stands upright and gives a bright smile.

“hey man, it’s been a while” they give each other a side hug as the guy lazily smiles at taehyung.

“last i saw you, was at the studio with min yoongi and someone else” the guy starts to think and taehyung visibly tenses up at the mention of a studio and your interest is peaked, because taehyung has never mentioned a studio to you.

“it was probably namjoon hyung” taehyung answers the guy and he nods in recognition.

“you guys are still doing that music shit? i thought you would give up after a week, my man” your mouth drops open at the rude tone of the guy, he’s clearly patronizing taehyung who freezes in his spot, his usual smile immediately dropping from his face and you are the only one in the room who notices how tight his fists are by his arms.

it’s also the first time you’ve seen taehyung without his usual grin. you don’t like it; you don’t like this guy either.

taehyung isn’t a confrontational person nor is he someone who gets into a fight easily, for as long as you have known him, before and after tutoring him, one thing you know for sure is that taehyung avoids fights, not because he will lose but because he would much rather just enjoy his time instead of wasting it on people who don’t deserve it.

“i mean, come on, what do you guys even know about music to do it? just finish your degree like the rest of us and get a proper job, music won’t keep you alive in the real world” the guy says it like he’s doing taehyung a favor, like his advice would save taehyung’s life and taehyung just stands stiff, clearly upset.

“taehyung, can we leave?” you interrupt the conversation and both heads turn to look at you, you don’t know anything about taehyung and his music but you don’t want him to deal with this guy anymore either. taehyung immediately nods at you, looking relieved.

“now, who is she?” the guys lifts his eyebrow at you with a smirk, raking his eyes over you shamelessly.

“you don’t need to know, you fucking prick” you dead pan at him, even surprising yourself with your harsh tone and taehyung snorts at the guys annoyed face, walking to you and guiding you out of there with a hand on your lower back. you snapped because not only has this night been overwhelming, you also just can’t stand people as ridiculous as him, how dare he say anything about taehyung at all.

taehyung would be the biggest liar if he said that he didn’t find that hot, he knows how much you would prefer being away from people and situations like that and he almost expected you to just stand and watch but the second you talked back to the guy for him, taehyung has had this overwhelming sense of ego take over him because you wouldn’t do that for anyone but you did it for him.

and as he keeps looking at you, taehyung realizes there’s a lot that you do for him, that you don’t do for anyone else, you snuck out of a class for him, he knows that rules are something you stick to but you let them go for him, you went to lunch with a practical stranger for him, something you would never do with another classmate, you came to this party for him and if it weren’t for how nervous you looked under that hoodie, taehyung would have kissed you, there’s nothing else he’s wanted to do more.

thinking about all of this means only one thing to him, taehyung likes you, more than a friend ever will, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you as just a friend, not when your head lulled back and forth and fell on his shoulders the day he carried you to your apartment, taehyung doesn’t worry about a lot but he was worried about how sick you were and when he contemplated kissing you every single time you met up to study, taehyung knows he’s been a goner for you.

taehyung likes you, he wants to be with you and not have boundaries, he wants to see you let loose fully, he wants you to kiss him whenever you want to and his hand around your waist tightens at his realization.

after becoming aware of the hand on you which carefully weaves you through the crowd, you quickly move away from his touch, walking through the crowds by yourself, and taehyung follows you with an evident frown on his face.

he just thought you two are alright but he’s proven wrong with the distance that gets further between you two and he can’t help the disappointment flooding his chest. and again, guilt, the guilt that has stayed with him since you left him hanging at the door, why the guilt though? he doesn’t know.

you get into his car with a sigh, already relieved that this night will be over soon and you can just ignore everything from tomorrow and taehyung doesn’t drive away, sits there with his hands on his lap and a grim expression. you look at him for a few minutes, you have a million questions about what that guy said, about whether it was true that taehyung does music but you bitterly remember your place in his life, a tutor, which is why you don’t end up asking anything.

“taehyung, we need to go” you remind him and he nods slowly, lifting his head to grip the steering wheel tightly and sighs once again, letting it go.

“do you have to go home?” he turns to you with anxiousness on his face that you don’t recognize, he almost looks desperate? lost even, if you had to describe.

“where else will we go?”

“can i take you somewhere?”

“it’s my apartment, i have to show you something, i’ll drop you as soon as we’re done there, i promise” and when it looks like you’re going to refuse, taehyung immediately adds this part and you are even more confused.

if you’re just someone tutoring him, why does he want you to come to his apartment?

“fine” you mutter and fall back on the seat, annoyed at yourself for not being able to say no to him even now and shut your eyes before you think too much about it.

-

“come in” taehyung moves out of the way and you walk into his apartment, it was just big enough for one person, and covered in beige and shades of autumnal colors that give it a warm feel.

“your home is pretty” the compliment leaves your lips before you can stop it and taehyung gives you a softer smile than the one he usually has.

“thank you”

upon further walking in, you see a messy living room with papers thrown around, a desk covered in similar papers and a computer with a music system sitting right in front of it.

bingo.

the obnoxious guy at the party definitely wasn’t lying about the music part.

when you turn around to see taehyung, he looks so much smaller than he normally does, he looks nervous, he’s fidgeting and playing with his fingers and it takes you completely off guard. you’ve never seen him like this.

“what did you want to show me?” you ask, not going any further into the apartment and standing with your arms crossed. he doesn’t utter a word as he walks over to you, pulls your folded arms apart and holds your hand which confuses you and fills you with warmth at the same time.

you can only stare at your intertwined hands as he pulls you forward.

what is happening?

you are only brought back to reality when he places you on the chair in front of the computer and you look back at him with a frown.

“it’s true, what the guy at the party said, i do make music and i didn’t want you to think that i don’t plan on telling you” he mutters from behind you with fiddling fingers and it feels satisfying that you are not the nervous one this time.

so, taehyung does do music and you are impressed, very impressed because you feel like it’s a very emotionally taxing process and takes a lot of bravery to actually spill your feelings into ink, you could never do it which is why it’s a hundred times more admirable to you.

“so, i wanted to play you one of my songs?” he says it in a question and you stay quiet, both grateful that he’s showing you his work and even more confused because again, he called you his tutor not even two hours ago, you don’t understand why he’s showing you all this.

“why are you showing me?” the question tumbles out of your mouth in a disappointed sigh.

“because i trust you” he answers simply, ignoring your widened eyes and looking through his computer, all while leaned over your shoulder, and no matter how many times this has happened, his body brushing against yours leaves you breathless.

he purses his lips as he presses play and you instinctively lean towards the computer as a soft song starts thrumming through the room.

“on my pillow can't get me tired sharing my fragile truth that i still hope the door is open

'cause the window opened one time with you and me now my forever's falling down wondering if you'd want me now?

how could i know? one day i’d wake up feeling more but I had already reached the shore guess we were ships in the night night, night

we were ships in the night night, night.”

your mouth stays agape as you listen to taehyung’s voice, which is steady and deep and pushes all the way to your heart, and the song just feels so warm, like the beautiful end to a bright summer, there’s sadness but desperation more clearly written in the lyrics and you can’t believe that you’re sitting in front of the man who’s singing it.

“did you write this?” you ask quietly as the song continues to play and you see a nod from the corner of your eye and your admiration for taehyung grows ten-fold, as you listen to his voice in complete awe, if his voice is deep usually, it’s a lot deeper and more soulful when he’s singing. and whoever he’s singing this song for, you are jealous of them, you don’t know them but you’re jealous of them.

“do you like it?” he pauses the player before another song starts and how do you tell him that you might just be in love with him and everything about him?

“it was beautiful” you compliment, albeit a little bitter that it isn’t about you and taehyung looks a mixture of pleased and relieved at your words.

“who is it for?” you can’t help but ask him as you stay seated.

“no one, it’s just a story i’ve had on my mind” you sense only honesty in his words and it further impresses you that he can weave a story and put life and love into it.

“of two people in love?”

“of two people falling in love.” he corrects you and it dawns on you that a story of two people already in love would be a lot different than two people discovering and falling slowly but surely.

“did you have fun making the story?” now that you know about his music, you are only curious to know more about it and taehyung is more than happy to indulge you.

“it’s…different, making a story of two people, no one that you know, but giving them emotions, giving their emotions a journey and putting it into words in a proper way, it’s hard but i enjoy nothing else more.” you only listen to how taehyung describes songwriting because you still are in awe at how much passion he holds when he’s talking about music.

one out of many things that you loved about taehyung was that you could never just expect something to happen with him, he really played his own drum and did whatever he wanted to do, consequences are an afterthought to him, and it’s refreshing, it’s also so rare which is why you truly think he’s one of the most precious kind of people. like who would have known that the party would end this way?

“that’s very cool of you” you smile at him and he grins back, moving away from you to take his stuffy jacket off and you already miss being encompassed in his warmth. you get up from your seat, thinking that you will have to leave soon now that you have heard the song.

“should we go now?” you ask him, not actually wanting to leave but knowing you can’t stay either.

“there’s one thing left to do” he says with pursed lips, coming back to where you’re stood and you frown at him.

“what is it?” you question as he starts walking to you with determination in every step, taehyung doesn’t want to lose his courage before he reaches you.

“what?” you ask again, a little breathlessly this time, your breath getting uneven and the butterflies singing in every end of your nerves when he stands right in front of you, looking down on you while biting his lip slightly.

and his hand comes up to take your glasses off, you feel completely bare as he carelessly throws them to the side and then curls his fingers around your cheek. while smiling, he doesn’t give you an answer, just closes the distance between you two with a single, large step and pulls you to him with his hand firm on your waist.

“i hope you don’t mind” is his cheeky comment as he caresses your cheek once before he does what he couldn’t do at the party.

everything falls into place perfectly to you; your hands grip his thin t-shirt to stabilize yourself and his hands grab onto your skin like he will go insane if he doesn’t feel you. you are hot all over, your body shaking a little with the overflowing love and affection you throw into each pull of his lips. you gasp for breath once he lets you go a little, gazing into your eyes and you return a dazed look of your own, but you aren’t given a break when he pulls you back in again, chasing after you like you will run away if he lets you go for too long.

but taehyung doesn’t have to worry, you aren’t going anywhere.

and frankly, you don’t mind this at all.

-

the rest of the night is just taehyung playing you more songs and a lot of kissing, neither of you confessing but kissing each other like your life depended on it and if taehyung doesn’t like you the way you do, you don’t think you will ever be able to move on from his addicting scent and touch.

you toss and turn on taehyung’s bed, you ended up staying after he insisted in between kisses and you were too weak and lost in the moment to refuse, he ended up sleeping on the couch and that gave you plenty of time to think about last night. you got up way too early and after freshening up, you just couldn’t face him, you didn’t know how to so you stayed in his room.

what did it even mean to him?

was it just one of those kisses you blame on too much alcohol?

you groan and stuff your face into a pillow as you resist the urge to scream, if you were confused before, you simply don’t have a clue anymore, the line between friendship and relationship between you and him was so blurred, you don’t even know if it existed anymore.

and if he was going to kiss you, why make you feel so insignificant at the beginning?

“you really shouldn’t think so much this early into the day” you jump when you hear taehyung’s amused voice at the door, he looks just as gorgeous as always even in the morning.

“i blame you for it” you retort as you sit up, he falls on his bed while stretching, letting out a loud yawn and you smile at him, you like waking up to him.

“i told you i will take the couch” you tell him with slight guilt as he continues to stretch his sore body.

“that’s fine, next time we’ll just sleep together” he looks up at you with a smirk and you turn stark red at the suggestive tone, reaching for the pillow behind you and throwing it on his face, letting out a loud laugh when he lets out a yelp of pain.

“speaking of that” you purse your lips as he stops stretching and looks at you with his usual bright smile which flutters your heart just like the first time.

“what are we?” you ask him, gesturing between you two, the question lays heavily in the air as neither of you say a word after you ask that.

“what do you want us to be?” he questions back, scooting closer to you and finally settling right beside you. when you don’t answer him, he pulls you back into him, letting you rest your head on his shoulder and you curl into him, not brave enough to say it first.

“i like you, a lot, and i’ve never thought of you as a friend, you have always been something more to me and i like you too much to let this go at one night, i can’t let you go after last night” taehyung confesses, his tone is soft as he plays with your fingers in his hand, sighing at the end.

“personally, i would love to have you as my girlfriend but it’s up to you, y/n, whatever you want, i’ll give to you” the sincerity in his voice as he talks, makes you teary-eyed as you shove your face into his chest, and at your shyness, he is as amused as ever.

“you really need to tell me something before i go crazy over here, love” he says with a low chuckle, you have always hated nicknames but being called ‘love’ by taehyung has you floating on the sky with hearts for eyes and you feel bad for keeping him hanging. you can never say no to him anyway.

“i also would love to have you as my boyfriend” is your mumble on his chest and he somehow hears it, letting out a relieved sigh before pulling you even closer, legs twisting around yours as he caresses your hair slowly.

“do you still have to tutor me though?”

“you got one A, don’t get too brave.”

requests are open!

masterlist

if you have ideas of any kind at all, for all members, please send them to me in messages or asks.

rules:

i do not write hardcore smut, only suggestive tones.

i do not write about violence or topics that could be too triggering, i can write about sensitive topics with appropriate warnings.

i do not support fetishization or infantilization.

but other than this, i write just about anything with your own input and i will try my best to put what you want in the story.

thank you so much in advance if you send in your ideas, i hope i can write it however you want <3

two feet tied - p.jm.

genre: fluff at the beginning, angst, deals with infidelity in detail (11.5k)

summary: do you think of love when the world is at your fingertips? or a story in which jimin dances on the dangerously thin line between love and obsession.

note: i do not mean to romanticize or glorify cheating in any manner, take this as a work of fiction only.

all works in the series can be real individually.

masterlist    series masterlist (colors!universe)

drabble

“we’ll announce the leads now, please come forward if your name is called, and if not, better luck next time” is a simple sentence really.

but your heart wrenched uncomfortably in your chest as you anxiously waited for the results. it was not like your entire life and career depended on those names.

you couldn’t stand still, neither could jimin as your hands wrung behind your backs and your weights kept shifting from one foot to another.

this is it.

this is what you worked and climbed ranks for, in the past two years.

you turned to the side to see jimin mirroring your expression, excitement danced in his eyebrows, but his lips stayed pursed, giving away how nervous he truly was. you couldn’t comfort him even if your hands reached him.

it felt all too familiar, jimin by your side, both of your palms sweaty as you wait for your fate to be recited to you.

‘the black swan’ was one of the hardest theatrical acts to get accepted into, only the absolute top and most talented even thought of auditioning here. once you are accepted, your future is secured, opportunities were expected to fall at your feet so everything is at stake here, especially the pride you both were cruelly robbed off when you first started.

“park jimin” you gasp and jump in your place when his name is announced, a huge grin growing on your face when you realize that jimin got the part he auditioned for; the black swan, the heart of the show.

you could see him trying to hold in his happiness, he still couldn’t scream, not with the officials in the same room and you couldn’t hug him either, so you just squeezed his hand and congratulated him in excited, hushed whispers. he can’t help but smile sheepishly at the floor at how much more excited you look than him and sends a silent thanks to the universe.

but his face immediately falls when he notices how they’ve reached the end of the list and your name didn’t get called.

he turns to look at you with concerned eyes, knowing in his heart how much you wanted this and how hard you worked for it, he isn’t surprised to see the disappointment instantly wash over your face.

everyone starts to leave, some crying, some buzzing with excitement. jimin was just worried because even though you don’t look sad, you wouldn’t look at him as you make your way through the crowd and outside the building, and he follows wordlessly.

he does not know what to do as you sit in the car with your gaze downwards, he knows that any words of comfort would just fall to deaf ears because jimin understood, better than anyone, what this audition meant to you. so, when you curl up on the bed still without uttering a word, jimin knows that he can’t just watch you suffer from your thoughts.

your gaze follows his movements as he gets into bed too, and you almost immediately crumble, reaching for him with desperate hands. he tears up when he hears your sobs against his chest.

this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, you both were supposed to get in together.

the plan was always supposed to do this together, like everything else you have done to this point.

“i-i’m sorry i’m crying like this when i’m supposed to be h-happy for you, i am happy for you jimin, and i’m so unbelievably p-proud. you, of all people, deserved to get that role” you whimper, feeling horrible for dampening his mood along with yours. “don’t be silly, you don’t have to hide how you truly feel, not in front of me.” jimin whispered, caressing your hair as your teardrops continued to soak the pillows.

for a moment, your sobs are the only sound in the room, jimin chooses to remain silent and just stay close to you, but then the piercing shrill of your phone startles you both.

jimin reaches for it, shrugging when there’s no name, and hands it to you. you sit up straight before clearing your throat and answering the call. “hello?” your voice remains surprisingly steady for someone who’s been crying their heart out and jimin just watches as your eyes go wide and your face morphs into a big smile, your hand flies up to your mouth, your eyes darting to him several times as you continuously thank the person on the other line before ending the call and looking at him with renewed energy.

“jimin, you won’t believe this” you shout excitedly as you jump to go next to him, he lets out a small chuckle and gathers you in his arms at your sudden change in mood and bouncing energy, and waits for you to speak. he is more than relieved to see the change in your mood. “what is it babe?” he rubs his fingers over the back of your hand.

“you know the ‘nutcracker’ play, right? the one sponsored by that big studio in france? well, they just called me and they want me to be the senior director for the show! they saw my audition at ‘black swan’ and wanted me to be a part of their play” jimin’s mouth drops open at your words with both joy and awe, being the senior director was something very few actual dancers were offered to be so if they were willing to give you that role, they must have bet a lot on you.

they were not going to regret all this faith they put in you, jimin was very sure of that much.

“see, i knew you would get there, one way or another.” he smiles widely that your hard work was paying off. “but it’s not together” you pout because you and jimin have always been a pair, it is one of the rare sentiments you have developed over the years. “i know, i wish you were my white swan” he sighs as he rubs circles into your hands, “there’s always next time?” you offer with a small smile and he nods, agreeing with you. “next time.”

in the past, even if you weren’t partners for the actual dance, you both were always somehow involved in the same act, either as the choreographer or part of the crew, you just were always in each other’s presence but that wasn’t the case now.

“i’m so excited” you sigh dreamily, just imagining how fun and new it would be to become a director. “i’m sure you’ll excel at it, as you do in so many other things” he kisses your forehead and you resist the urge to bury yourself into him. “i couldn’t have done it without you” you whisper back to him and jimin swears he feels his heart burst at your words, “i wouldn’t have even danced without you” he whispers back to you.

-

jimin takes a deep breath as he walks up to the large, fancy building where he would practice as the black swan. he walks in with confidence, knowing that he’s done his research on what his role entailed and which way he would have to transform for it.

upon entering, he is immediately whisked away to a dancing room with ceilings as high as the sky, he noted that the floor was also polished just enough for him to glide without having to stutter in his step. it’s every dancer’s dream practice room.

“ah there he is, the star of the show” a man, who would soon be revealed as the director of the show, hollers loudly when he sees jimin looking around the room. jimin breaks into a shy grin and the choreographer takes the time to introduce him to everyone involved in the play.

“and our other star, park hyejin, she’s the white swan, also your partner, you both will be working closely with each other so get comfortable, yeah?” the man winks at them as hyejin and jimin bow with a polite smile to each other. “i’ve heard a lot about you mr. park, i’m excited to work on this with you” she compliments jimin who humbly brushes it off with a sheepish smile.

when she looks away, jimin subtly notes how elegant hyejin looks, even without seeing her dance, he just had a feeling that her body lines were always flawless and her posture reflected the prima ballerina she was.

she reminded him of you, a perfect blend of determination and softness was shared in your faces.

he reluctantly looks away and laughs to himself a little, a few moments away from you already had him thinking everything was about you.

but jimin could have never guessed why he actually couldn’t look away from hyejin.

-

by the time jimin gets home, you’re already cooking dinner and dancing around in the kitchen with some jazzy 80’s song playing softly in the background. all of today was great but you are the true light in his day.

he wishes you always looked like this, so full of life and bursting at the seams with happiness.

“i’m home” he announces in a soft voice, face immediately brightening when you throw him backward with a hug. “how was your first day? were you nervous? how were the other dancers? the directors weren’t overbearing, right?” your barrage of questions tumble over each other and jimin just smiles fondly. “well, i can tell you everything if you let me babe.” he teases with a peck to your nose, and you purse your lips with a nod.

“it couldn’t have been better, like you won’t believe how huge their practice rooms are, just imagine our first ever practice room ever and multiply that by ten” he starts, you gasp at his description and patiently listen to every second of his day that he didn’t spend with you.

nor he or you notice that he leaves out the part about his stunning partner.

-

the next day jimin walks into practice, he is taken aback when he sees that hyejin is already stretching in the studio, she lifts her head at his presence and goes up to him. “good morning, mr.park.” he can’t help but feel a little shiver at her smooth voice, he also couldn’t help how his eyes travel across her poised body. now that she wasn’t wearing a flowy dress, her dance practice outfit didn’t leave a lot to the imagination.

he quickly looks away and he doesn’t bother telling her to be informal with him like he usually does with all his partners.

everything about her was so elegant, so put together, that jimin felt intimidated. he isn’t used to having such a qualified partner. not that he minded or anything, he was just always the more experienced one during acts he’s done in the past.

who was jimin to judge anyone’s qualifications anyway?

he greets her as well as he sets his bag down. he thought he was early but clearly not early enough.

during practice, both jimin and hyejin turn red when the choreographer tells them how close they would have to be for the dance. for more than half of the dance, their bodies remain stuck to each other, it’s supposed to symbolize how thin the line is between the black and white swan.

the thin line between love and obsession.

as they get into position, every single one of jimin’s senses is clouded by hyejin, his eyes literally won’t stop darting across her face

she was just so…beautiful.

and she looked so much like you?

why did she look like you when she was in his arms?

the music starts but that isn’t what gets jimin to move, it’s like a mind instinct to follow hyejin’s movements. the second she starts twirling, he pushes his body to follow her, desperate hands just as the black swan reaches the white swan. they don’t break eye contact once and the entire room feels heavy, heavy with their breaths, heavy with the tension growing between them, and for a second, it felt like it was only her and him in the room.

jimin hasn’t feel that way with anyone but you.

“i think you should be closer” hyejin whispers into his ear, with her hand wrapped around the back of his neck, and jimin freezes in his position, he thought they were impossibly close already.

he doesn’t think she’s just talking about the dance.

with a tedious scan of her from head to toe and then meeting hyejin’s sparkling eyes, he follows her anyway, his grip tightening on her waist and she hums in approval.

she sounds like you too.

this feels wrong.

this is wrong.

they start moving again, and jimin just flows with her, just like how he flows with you.

she’s not you but jimin can’t tell the difference between holding you and her. she feels the same, looks the same, sounds the same, and moves her body the same way.

but she’s not you.

a voice screams in his head that the woman in his arms is not the woman waiting for him at home.

“that was perfect, bravo to our swans!” the loud holler from the choreographer freezes jimin once again, face so close to hyejin that he can feel her breath on his face, steady and hot and for a minute, they don’t move. they don’t hear the rousing applause around them, their feet stay glued as they stare at each other and it isn’t until another loud noise around them that he pulls away from her, almost pushing her away from him because jimin doesn’t understand this feeling crawling on his chest.

why did she look like you?

why did she feel like you?

why do his eyes follow her as she walks away to leave for the day?

he doesn’t realize how hard he’s panting until his body starts to bend forward from how tired he feels.

he’s been with partners for dance before, but none were hyejin. he never had to remind himself that you were at home, waiting for him to come back, he never had to remind himself that you were in his life. he never had to actively think of you before, you were just always on his mind.

in a loving, dizzy haze, jimin somehow always felt secure that you were there in his life.

but now, felt scarily different to jimin.

because he didn’t think of you individually even once, not during the whole practice, not when hyejin got unnecessarily close to him sometimes.

he only thought of you when he found traces of you in the woman holding onto him for dear life.

and jimin almost hates it when he enjoys being so close to hyejin, he almost hates how his body jumps to be just as close to her, he would’ve fully hated it if it weren’t for how sweetly she smiled at him each time their eyes would meet.

jimin also hates that he finds himself smiling back at her.

-

you are more than buzzing with energy as you start your first day as a senior director, everyone was so welcoming and warm to you. knowing your experience, they didn’t question any of your suggestions. most of them immediately tried to see if it would pan out and put it into action, and it felt good to work in such a respectable and comfortable environment.

“the dancers should do a different formation for act 2, the same formation looks uninteresting. so try a newer formation, one that is fresh to the eyes, and let me know if there’s something i can help with” you instruct the choreographer who agrees and puts forth his ideas on how that can be improved.

you realized that you liked being behind the camera and below the stage just as much as you like being on it, and looking at the huge stage in front of you reminds you of one person; jimin.

who would’ve known that both of you would grow up to do what you’re doing now?

the ‘you’ from five years ago would have given everything and anything just to get a peek of the stage that you were now directing.

it made you feel warm, that all your pain and hard work didn’t get thrown into a ditch and you definitely couldn’t have done it without jimin.

your eyes stay teary as you drag your feet out of the audition room. it didn’t go well.

you got rejected, to put it nicely. but thoughts of what they said circle your mind in a taunt, ‘you have no talent at all, why did you even think of getting on that stage?’ it was humiliating, a punch to all the practice you did for the audition, a punch to the passion you so strongly held onto since you started dancing.

a soft hand grabs yours making you look up, jimin stands there with his lips set in a grim line and an evident furrow in his eyebrow.

you didn’t have to ask him to know that he got rejected too either.

you both look at each other for a second before crashing into a hug, heaving sobs leaving both your lips as you desperately grab onto him. his hands dig into your sides but nothing hurts more than being denied from something you thought you had.

how did both of you get rejected?

why was nothing ever enough?

you lean back from his face to wipe at his tears and hold onto his cheek, “we’ll get through this, yeah?” after he doesn’t respond, you get worried that your friend truly thinks there’s no hope left. “at 4, meet me in the school’s practice room, let’s practice till no one can say no to us” you say and leave him by himself.

morning comes slowly, and everyone is sound asleep when you slip into the dead night, jimin is already stretching lightly but his eyes are downcast as you approach him.

“it’s only our first rejection and i have a feeling that if we want to continue this, we have to be ready for much worse.” you say softly as you start stretching next to him, his arms fall beside him as he takes in a sharp breath. “i don’t think i can take anymore….maybe i should just stop here” you can tell it’s just his train of thought as he mumbles this but it stuns you that jimin would even think of leaving dancing behind over one rejection.

“are you sure? because you and i both know that you shine the brightest when you’re on stage, dancing your heart out” jimin on stage is a sight to behold, the way he tip-toes and catches the attention of everyone in the auditorium with a simple turn, was no easy feat and you couldn’t let him give up on it.

“it’s hard, i understand, i do. but i’m not letting you give up here, this isn’t the last audition you’re going to take and this is sure as hell, not the last time you’re getting on a stage” your words are stern but filled with warmth, they are directed to you and him. you can’t let him give up and you can’t give up either. jimin is grateful that you’re his friend as he passes by you and presses play on the music.

“you’re right, you always are” he mumbles with a chuckle and you smile with him. he reaches for your hand, giving it a light squeeze and you tighten your grip too.

“let’s prove all of them wrong” you move into position, “together?” he asks, breaking his position to look at you, “who else would it be?” you answer with a smile.

that was six years ago, that was when jimin was still just your friend, but with long hours of practice combined with celebrating your victories and failures together, you were bound to fall in love with him at some or another point. and he was always in love with you.

it was over a couple of bottles of soju and beer after the first time you two got roles in a local theater play, that he confessed to you in a dreamy, drunken haze. you still laugh at how quickly he sobered up when you said you felt the same way.

as you watch the dancers do their routine in a fresh new way, your mind subconsciously drifts to think about jimin and how he must be doing.

you were sure he was doing alright; it was jimin after all. if anyone could fully embrace the role, it was him.

-

contrary to your beliefs, jimin was struggling quite a bit.

it had already been three weeks since they started practicing and this week had been pure torture for jimin. as it turns out, hyejin was the perfect dancer, not that jimin thought otherwise but he didn’t expect himself to not be able to catch up with her. she practiced for hours on end, her body never faltered or missed a beat, while jimin had pretty good stamina himself, his body would give up on him from time to time.

and even if it were minor challenges, the nervousness that comes with starring in one of the biggest drama productions along with the need to stack up to hyejin now, was slowly building on him in a way he wasn’t sure he could handle anymore.

not to mention, he was still trying to navigate through this unusual feeling he had around hyejin, he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since that day, how close they were, how that closeness repeated every day with her. and after tossing and turning for nights on end, he put a label to what he felt for her while you slept peacefully beside him.

he felt attracted to her.

the kind of attraction that was so magnetic, so strong that it made him angry. he was angry that she pulled a move like that on him when she was well aware of his relationship with you.

but.

but jimin wasn’t out of the woods yet either, he not only reciprocated whatever she did, but he also didn’t do anything to dodge or discourage it. if anything, he encouraged her to advance further.

hyejin was slowly proving to be the root of all of his problems.

he sat down in the corner of the dance room after everyone had left, he recalls the disappointment flashing on the directors’ faces every single time he missed or skipped a step, and it placed a stone in his heart.

it wasn’t easy, trying to understand his own feelings while pushing his body to go further and do better.

he can’t lose this role; he can’t give up here but his body and mind are screaming at him to slow down.

he thought that if he got this role, everything would be perfect. he would work on getting a dance studio of his own, run it with you, propose to you and have a family with you, it was all mapped out in his mind.

but he didn’t think that just getting the role won’t help, he’s going to have to fill in the shoes of one of the biggest roles in the industry.

he was foolish enough to think he wouldn’t have to put in too much work to fill them out.

and he didn’t expect whatever was going on with him and hyejin, not even in his wildest dreams.

you were always his ride or die, someone, he could never forget and he hated himself for even looking at someone else through tainted eyes.

he can’t go further with hyejin, not even if it’s maddening to ignore the desires itching at his heart.

his thoughts are interrupted when a soft hand is placed on his shoulder, jimin doesn’t have to turn around to know that it’s hyejin.

“are you okay?” her tone is just as soft as her touch, and jimin looks at her with a bored face, his problems could have never looked more beautiful. “did you forget something?” his rude tone isn’t lost on her but she sits down beside him, which confuses jimin.

“it was hard for me too” she starts and jimin scoffs, he couldn’t believe that she was lying straight to his face. he had seen her practice and she never showed any signs of struggling. “i dance the way i do because i have put in precious time into it” she continues and jimin straightens up to listen to her. “the amount of practice i do, is punishing for my body. i held onto that harsh realization for a while but without punishing it, i can’t do better than i already am.”

it's grim, love and passion just aren’t enough if you want to pursue your art. there’s always a price that comes with doing what you love.

his respect for hyejin skyrockets as she explains how she dances the way she does, but that’s quickly turned to dust when he remembers that he wouldn’t be this miserable if she wasn’t his partner.

didn’t she feel even the slightest bit of guilt for whatever she was doing?

she knew he was a taken man after all.

“that’s insightful, thanks” jimin’s reply is dry and he looks away after that, he fully expects her to scoff in his face and walk away so imagine his surprise when she giggles at him.

he cocks his eyebrow at her, waiting for her to explain what’s so hilarious about his clear frustration. hyejin sighs with a soft smile before turning to fully face jimin. “come on” she extends her hand to him and he looks at it questioningly, hyejin doesn’t wait for an answer as she takes his hand in hers and pulls him up.

again, jimin tries to convince himself that he doesn’t like it but he does nothing to move away or take his hand back.

“we will practice together and only go home when we can’t move a muscle” hyejin announces, letting his hand go to fix her ponytail and she smiles widely when jimin keeps his hand open for her to take again with a dumb look on his face. “don’t worry about meeting anyone’s expectations for now, just focus on me and the music, you have it in you jimin, you just have to believe your talent here.” jimin melts at her words.

you.

you used to talk to him this way whenever he was down.

oh my god, you.

what is he doing?

for that one second, you are everywhere in his mind, every nook and cranny of his brain crowds with thoughts of you and jimin feels unsteady again, but with one more tug from hyejin, everything he knows about you disappears just as quickly.

when they get close again, she isn’t the first one to smile this time, he already has a budding smile on his lips and it gets wider every second he holds her close to him. once again, they’re face to face and jimin sees you in her.

his grip falters as her grip tightens, her hands leaving his arms to caress the back of his neck before subtly bringing his ear close to her lips.

"we could be bigger together, everyone would die to have us in their show, we could do so much together, just imagine the sheer volume of applause they would shower us with,” she whispers to him and jimin listens like a snake to a snake charmer, he can only hear her.

together.

he believes in together, but that was with you.

you and him were supposed to be big together.

jimin looks at the floor, his arms loosening almost completely from hyejin and she frowns.

why couldn’t he see what she saw for them?

why couldn’t he see that he wouldn’t go too far with you? that with her, he could have the world laying itself in front of him? that together, they could run the industry without lifting a finger?

her last words to him have him convinced, she says it slow, she says it like the challenge she is and jimin finally lets himself say fuck it as he pulls her towards him, he knows from the smirk on her face that she doesn’t feel guilty at all, she rather enjoys it.

but jimin is no better when he matches her smirk.

“don’t fight what you feel for me jimin, you won’t win.”

it was the most perfect practice jimin had ever had.

-

that day, jimin stumbles into your home, feeling disoriented among other things. he can’t believe himself, he can’t believe his behavior, the only thing he’s grateful for is that nothing went beyond some groping.

but he shouldn’t be, that’s a pathetic thing to be grateful for. and it wasn’t innocent groping either, he knew he had done and fucked up everything.

“you’re home!” your cheery voice from a distance makes his step stutter, his heart resting unsettled and forming a dull ache.

how could he do this to you?

his face almost betrays him when you come into view. your smile is huge as you skip towards him, he guesses you had another successful day at work and his heart blooms with pride.

you have always been so good at everything you do, very much like hyejin in that sense.

no, no.

hyejin is like you when it comes to working only, you aren’t like hyejin in any sense though, you wouldn’t play with jimin’s feelings and mind the way hyejin did.

you look so happy, so oblivious to what he’s done and jimin doesn’t feel like he deserves to even look at you at that moment.

but he can’t be too obvious so he accepts your open arms and cheek kisses with a forced, broad smile on his face even if everything in him feels heavy with guilt.

“i got out of set early today, we only had minor things to take care of but you won’t believe how well everything is coming along. oh, and what is that you’re holding?” you grab the plastic bag hanging off his hands, immediately being greeted by the smell of your favorite food; wonton soup and tempura shrimp.

jimin couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d done, so bringing you your favorite food was a very underwhelming way to reassure himself that your relationship will be okay.

you squeal happily, taking the bag into the kitchen and thanking jimin a million times over your shoulder, telling him that you were just getting worried about dinner and that he’s your savior in a silly tone. jimin follows your steps, head hung low because again, you have no clue about what he’s done but he does. he remembers it all too well and has the very sudden urge to wash hyejin’s touch off his skin, but it will be in vain.

“don’t fight what you feel for me jimin, you won’t win.”

“jimin!” he hears loudly, his head snapping up to meet your worried eyes. “are you okay, my love?” you approach him with a slight pout on your lips, and jimin gulps when you hold his hands in yours. “you’ve been awfully quiet, is everything alright?” the soothing circles you draw on his skin and your downturned eyes filled with love, only drown in his heart in more sorrow.

he wishes he could tell you; he wishes he could cry into your arms and beg for forgiveness because jimin doesn’t know what else to do, he doesn’t know who else to go to.

with no response from him, you assume that he’s had a bad day at practice, he usually put himself through a lot of self-doubt and hate whenever he messed up during practice. “let’s eat dinner, yeah? and then we can watch your favorite animated movie, boss baby, would you like that?” he lets a small smile slip at the mention of his comfort movie and you take that as a sign to guide him to the dinner table with you.

as you start eating, you remind him that your anniversary is soon when you gush about these new cakes you two should try out this time and jimin feels sick to the stomach that he forgot about your precious anniversary which was approaching soon, it was always such a big deal for you both.

he might not spend another anniversary with you.

you fill him in on every detail from your play, that everything’s going great, the crew are incredible and responsive to your ideas and vision. jimin lets himself forget about what he did as he listens to you narrate things to him with the most excited look on your face.

“oh speaking of dancers, you never told me what your white swan is like” you innocently shove a forkful of food into your mouth, completely missing the way jimin’s fork falls on his plate with a thud.

he was not expecting that and he suddenly felt like the air around him got hard to breathe, how is he supposed to tell you what his white swan is actually like?

“she’s..alright” he offers with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant.

correction, trying to act like he didn’t kiss her.

you raise your eyebrows at him, clearly with no clue as to why he’s so unenthusiastic to talk about his partner. “is she giving you a hard time or something?” jimin almost lets out a mocking laugh at that sentence, that was one way to put the absolute hell she was putting him through.

but he quickly comes to the grim realization that she only put him through what he allowed her to.

it’s on him.

"no, she’s good at what she does.” she’s good at making me forget that i have to come home to you.

his short and dry responses mildly frustrate you but you don’t say anything, not wanting to make his day worse with your questions.

“jimin, are you sure everything’s okay?” you whisper to him when you’re later cuddling on the couch with boss baby playing in front of you. your concern for him stays from hours ago but he does his best to give you his brightest smile.

“don’t worry about me, i’ll be okay.” you should start worrying about yourself, he bitterly thinks as he kisses your temple and holds you closer in his arms.

who knows how much longer you will stay in his arms?

-

“heading home early?” your set producer asks as you start to pack things up for the day, you grin and nod in reply, there was no way anything could make you hide how excited you were for today.

“now, what’s got you so happy?” the choreographer brushes past you with a teasing smile, “it’s me and my boyfriend’s 6th anniversary today” you reply, the smile on your face never faltering, “boyfriend as in park jimin, right?” you happily hum in response and then everyone on set including the dancers, who are supposed to be practicing, make it their mission to tease you.

someone yells about how he hasn’t put a ring on it after so long and even if you laugh it off, you really do wonder why jimin hasn’t proposed to you yet.

“alright, alright, i’m leaving for today. if you need anything, send me a message!” you wave all of them goodbye and get into your car, the butterflies in your stomach fluttered gently at the thought of spending the rest of the day with jimin. it’s been so long since you spent proper time with him, both of you got so busy with your own work that you barely spent three hours together on a daily basis.

but you were positive that you would make up for all the lost time today. on your way home, you picked up the decorations and food, it was a tradition that jimin would bring the cake and you hoped that he would bring your favorite.

as you start setting up the balloons and streamers, you turn to see the time, it was already half past 7. your face falls into a small frown because jimin should’ve been home by now, you always met up at 7 and finished decoration together.

however, you reasoned to yourself that practice probably kept him late and decided to have everything ready by the time he’s home.

that time never comes.

your heart slips with each passing second that he doesn’t show up, you sit in a pretty dress on your couch with a sick feeling churning in your stomach that something doesn’t feel right, your fingers nervously play with the necklace hanging on your collarbones as you wait.

it was already 10.

jimin wasn’t answering your calls or messages.

you lay on your side and watch the clock tick by, jumping at any sound to see if jimin was home or not, and every sound was anything but him. you felt tired as you watched the minutes pass by.

for the first time, you felt unsure about the faith and trust you’ve put in jimin, it was for a brief second that you questioned every single one of his actions leading up to today but you snap yourself out of it.

jimin would never do anything to hurt you.

right?

jimin rushes out of his car, slamming the door and hurriedly locking it as he adjusts his jackets and makes his way upstairs to your home.

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

jimin’s internal panic rises with each second, he really doesn’t think he can go lower in life than this. he shoves the key in with more force than he intended and pushes the door open, almost stumbling over his own feet as he makes quick, hurried steps to the living room.

his eyes fall on you soundly sleeping on the couch, he breaths out a sigh and leans against where you’re sleeping and on instinct, starts brushing your hair back as he fondly watches your lips naturally being in a pout.

is he really willing to lose everything he has right now just for a future that he’s not sure will be there?

his hand drops against your hair when he takes in how the living room was decorated in a lively way, he purses his lips as his eyes wander around every detail that you have put so much heart into and jimin felt like he failed you.

he turns back to you as you stir in your sleep and eventually open your eyes. jimin notices the relief flood in your expression when you see him.

“you’re home” you mutter so quietly that if jimin didn’t strain to hear you, it would have sounded like gibberish.

“of course i am” he smiles uneasily which doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you get up anyway and jimin follows your movements as you sit upright on the couch.

you used to be so sure, that no matter where jimin goes, he will come back to you but something about tonight destroys that belief to tatters. and you hate yourself for going so extreme over one night but you can’t ignore your gut instinct telling you that something was very wrong.

you turn to look at the time.

3:00 A.M.

it was way past the time you and jimin agreed to meet but you didn’t want to ask him why he was late, you expect him to tell you himself, he owes you that much. but jimin doesn’t say anything either and he doesn’t even look at your face as you try to meet his eyes.

“did you bring our cake?” it was a simple question but to you, it was asking him if he actually remembered anything about today.

when he gulps and further lowers his head, you have your answer. and that answer falls like a rock in your heart.

“do you even remember what today is?” your voice is tired and laced with irritation but you don’t speak loudly, you don’t want to fight with him.

please tell me you remember.

“happy….anniversary” he offers pathetically and you want to scoff in his face at his lame reply. you were so excited for today; you hadn’t stopped daydreaming about tonight since a week ago and all of that crumbled down in a second.

“anniversary’s over.” with that, you get off the couch with unshed tears and start clearing the glasses filled with wine from the table. jimin watches quietly, the only sounds in the air being your light sniffles and glasses clinking.

he feels like he should say something.

“i didn’t mean to forget about our day,” he starts and when you don’t look at him as he speaks, he continues with an unsure tone, “practice just got so hectic and we were learning all these new moves at once, they didn’t let me go even when i begged.”

lies.

all lies.

there was no practice today, the choreographer had fallen sick so they just went over routines they already knew and everyone was let go in the early evening.

and let’s be real, no practice lasts till 3 in the night.

you honestly would’ve believed jimin until he said the last part.

jimin never begs anyone, and he was the heart of the show, a highly qualified and decorated dancer, if he wanted to be let off for one day, you know that no one would dare to say no to him.

but you let him lie because you can’t press him for a truth that he’s not willing to give you.

you continue to remain silent, moving to the kitchen and sighing as your eyes fall on the food that’s now cold, and jimin sees it too as he follows you in. the guilt that subdued because of his almost convincing lie returned with a vengeance, all this food must have been hard to prepare and the atmosphere remains heavy as you slide the plates into a trash can with a grim expression on your face.

you can’t shake the feeling of something being wrong, you also can no longer hold back the tears that cascade down your face. jimin is quick to rush to your side, making you sit down and lean against him.

“can you at least promise me that you’ll be there for my play?” you whimper, as you hold onto his arm and jimin nods immediately while pulling you in for a hug.

even his hug feels off to you.

“of course, i will, where else would i be?”

where were you today?

the question is at the tip of your tongue, ready to be released but you don’t say a word, you pat his arm in a signal to release you, and jimin watches with sorrowful eyes as you retreat into your bathroom. once the door is closed, you sink down on the floor with your hand on your mouth to muffle your sobs.

you don’t fully get why you’re crying. you’re tired from running all day and getting things done as quickly as you could to reach home for an anniversary party that jimin didn’t even bother coming to, you felt pathetic for putting in all that effort for nothing.

on the other side of the door, jimin hears your whimpers with downcast eyes and raises his hand to knock and hold you all night. but he pauses with his hand raised halfway, he takes a deep breath before stepping away. he doesn’t think he deserves to comfort you after what he did today.

jimin slowly walks to the huge vanity mirror in your room and pulls down his turtleneck to inspect the dark, blooming red patches splattered on his neck and he hates them.

jimin can’t believe what he’s become.

he can’t believe what he let hyejin do to him today either.

his hand hesitates to reach and graze those spots, wincing at the sensitivity. in some twisted way, he wishes for more of them to stain him but it’s not your mark that he wants, not anymore.

all jimin can think of is hyejin’s fingers brushing on his chest and asking him to stay for the night and how he almost agreed till he remembered which day it was.

he knows you’re hurt that he wasn’t there for the anniversary but your wails are just background noise to him at this point.

jimin can’t believe that he’s going to hurt you even more.

-

you stir as bright sunlight falls on your face, you curse to yourself before burying your head in the pillow with a groan. you still feel tired, and your entire body aches even if you slept quite well.

quite well is an exaggeration really, you kept waking up in cold sweat throughout the night because of dreams in which jimin left you, only after reaffirming that he was indeed next to you, did you fall back asleep.

the smell of fresh bread and coffee fills the air which makes you turn on your back, eyes popping from under the cover to take a look as your stomach grumbles involuntarily, reminding you that you didn’t eat anything last night. you see jimin standing there with a nervous smile and a tray covered in different delicacies in his hands.

your heart flutters as you take in the view, you missed waking up to him.

“good morning” he hums in a sweet tone and you sit up, allowing him to place the tray in front of you, it had all your favorites. you don’t greet him in return, your hurt from last night was still too fresh to forget.

“is this an apology?” your tone is as bitter as you feel and jimin hesitantly sits in front of you. “it’s also my attempt at celebrating our anniversary the way it deserves to be celebrated” he mumbles, albeit shamefully as he pulls out candles to stick on the lovely cupcake sitting in the center of the tray.

something about the sunshine falling on his pastel sweater and his hands carefully lighting the candles as his tongue sticks out a little in concentration, something about that sight is enough to forgive him in your heart. but he doesn’t need to know that.

when he looks up with his breathtaking smile and a gesture to blow out the candles, you almost completely forget what he put you through last night.

“i still haven’t forgiven you.” you lie with arms crossing your chest after blowing the candles and jimin nods in acceptance. “i don’t expect to be forgiven so easily babe but i’ll narrate a scene to you and we can make it happen if you want to forgive me.” he speaks softly, with tender loving laced in his voice as he pulls your hands from the defensive stance they’ve taken against your chest, easily breaking every barrier you’ve built to protect yourself.

“let’s say we go to lunch, it’s in the outskirts of the city, in that restaurant surrounded by vineyards that you like so much. you can wear your prettiest dress and i will try to match up on your beauty, i know i’ll fail but a guy’s gotta try, right?” he says with a teasing smirk, you chuckle bashfully as your entire body leaps in newly regained energy, your heart is already so hopeful.

“and then we can go to that bookstore you like or that ice cream parlor you like, really anywhere you want to go. we can come back home or we can stay out all night and go stargazing by the beach. today, we’ll properly celebrate us, okay?” you are all heart eyes as you nod with the biggest smile on your face and he breaks into a large grin himself at your agreement, putting away the tray and immediately pulling you into a bear hug. “i’ll think about forgiving you at the end of today.” you mumble into his neck jokingly and he breaks away with a playful glare.

“that’s just not fair, what do you mean you’ll just think about it?” he whines with a pout on his face and you giggle at his frustration. “oh, you find this so funny, don’t you?” he narrows his eyes at you for a minute before his hands leap to tickle you, you fall back on the bed with breathy laughter and squeals, jimin joins in the laughter as his hands tickle you everywhere he remembers you to be ticklish.

it all looks perfect. it looks like you and jimin again.

but perfection doesn’t hide what jimin did.

jimin’s ringtone blasts through the otherwise giggly and lovingly dizzy environment. you both look back at the phone, and jimin bundles you in his arms as he sits up to answer the phone. you smile childishly and poke his nose to annoy him as he tries to talk to whoever is on the other line, you don’t notice how stiff his entire expression suddenly becomes through his hesitant chuckles at you.

“wait, right now?” your fingers pause on his face as your smile immediately drops, jimin’s hold on you loosens as he continues to talk, and the rush you felt from before escapes your body as quickly as it came. you get off his lap and drop your head back on your pillow as you hear jimin sigh in agreement.

you should’ve known.

“who was it?” you mumble into the sheets and jimin gulps, “the choreographer” he shows you the call history, you don’t understand why but for jimin, it’s his way of trying to make you believe him.

he knew hyejin would call at some point and he couldn’t risk you knowing anything about her at all so as soon as things got not-so-innocent between them, he saved her contact as the choreographer.

the tension in the air is palpable when you don’t say a word, you don’t need to though, your disappointment is evident and jimin does not know what to say, he can’t say no to hyejin but he feels horrible enough for what he’s doing to you, he was hoping that he could salvage some emotion from today but nothing seems to go his way these days.

“babe…they’re saying it’s urgent.” she says we need each other to lap up the industry.

“just go, jimin” you groan out, you’re frustrated and tired and you just want to know why you can’t have him for one day. “i’m really sor-“ he starts but you’re quick to cut him off. “just go.” your voice is strained and defeated as your heart continues to drown in the disappointment of promises he didn’t fulfill.

he purses his lips and almost has the urge to call hyejin and tell her to fuck herself and scream at her for ruining what he already had.

but he won’t.

instead, he will leave you on your shared bed, all alone after destroying every chance of being with you the same way again. he can’t blame her for the choices he makes because jimin knows what he chose at that moment, it was not you.

it will never be you from now on.

-

for the next couple of weeks, you two barely see each other. frankly, you wanted to fix things as soon as possible, but your work got so much more hectic than you had anticipated. there were so many moving pieces to be decided by you and you didn’t have the time or energy to worry about your relationship but it was always in the back of your mind.

you figured you both would eventually work it out.

“today’s my play, it starts at 6 in the evening” it’s one of the few full sentences you tell jimin in so long. you’re eating breakfast together after a ridiculous time apart and you felt like you had to remind him about one of the biggest milestones in your life.

“i remember, of course, i will be there.” he says with a small smile and you smile back because somewhere in you, you so badly hope that whatever this phase you and jimin were going through, would end soon and you could go back to waking up to his beaming face every morning.

but that hope comes crashing down on you as stand behind the velvet curtain and fiddle with the cloth, trying to spot jimin in the dazzling full crowd.

“hey, did you perhaps see park jimin in there?” you stop and ask a crew member who simply shakes their head and runs off to get everything ready to start the play. even as the music starts, you can’t think of anything else, you barely enjoy the work that you have crafted over the months, you don’t feel a thing as everyone cheers and hugs at the end of it.

he missed your play; he actually missed the most important thing in your life right now.

“oh my god!” you hear someone loudly exclaim which snaps you out of your trance, turning around to see jimin run into the small back room with flowers in his hands. “it’s park jimin, bet he’s here for our director” a hushed whisper passes you by and everyone pats you with teasing smiles as they leave the room but you can’t bring yourself to smile back.

before jimin can even utter a word, you’re already making your way out the door. you are seething with anger, every exhale of yours louder than the previous one as you stomped your way out of the room with jimin hot on your tail.

“wait, i can explain!” he yells loudly as he grabs your arm and you pause because you see a few people from your crew in the same corridor. “you can explain when we are out of my workplace, do you get that?” your loyalty to professionalism slipped jimin’s mind and he hesitantly lets go of your arm, he watches as you politely greet and thank everyone before taking heavy steps out of the building.

“are you really going to not even look at me?” jimin glances at your side profile as you stop at a red light, the air in the car got heavier with each second you two didn’t acknowledge the other. but as you keep waiting, jimin keeps getting more anxious because if your relationship was going to end, he didn’t want it to happen this way.

“i’m saying i’m sorry, i seriously am very sorry for missing your play, it’s just practice got hectic and it completely slipped my mi-“ jimin frantically makes excuses and pauses at his grave error. he knows he’s said the worst thing he could when you turn to him with dead eyes.

“slipped your mind? my biggest career milestone so far, slipped your mind?” you bitterly chuckle and jimin gulps, sinking in his seat. “it’s been very busy” he meekly offers and he knows he deserves the scoff you let out.

“what could keep you so busy, jimin? you didn’t come to our anniversary, fine, it was whatever, i was hurt and i didn’t think much of it because i know how important practice is to you. but i can’t sit here and keep excusing every shitty thing you do and if it really is practice, don’t fucking push yourself so much. and do not expect me to let you go all the time!” he lets you scream your frustration out, it was clear you didn’t want to listen to him. he doesn’t say a word even when you reach home and silently sit on the couch, whatever frustration you felt turned into thin air as you realized what this meant.

“you missed my first ever direction” you whisper as jimin sits down next to you and he pauses, taking a deep breath because jimin really didn’t think he would let it get this far.

“i know” he admits, too ashamed to look at you so he looks at the carpeted floor and shuts his eyes when he hears your breath choking.

he shouldn’t have let it get this far, he shouldn’t have believed hyejin when she said that together, they could turn their lives and careers around, saying he had the name and she had the connections. and it would work, it is still supposed to work.

but how is jimin going to achieve whatever hyejin has promised him if you are not there in his life?

no, no.

he needs hyejin.

he just wants you, for his own selfish reasons.

hyejin made sure to remind him of how he would come running after her if they didn’t continue what they had.

“i can’t believe you didn’t come to my debut as a director, we’re supposed to do everything together jimin, what is going on?” your voice hitches here and there as tears fall down your face because you don’t, for the love of god, understand what’s happening with your relationship.

together; the word used to mean so much to him, it meant a future with you, it meant you to him but now, it’s just another word that has lost its meaning somewhere along the way.

i can’t believe it either, jimin bitterly thinks. he snaps himself out of his thoughts when he hears your sobs get louder.

“hey, hey, come here” he holds your shoulder and presses you against his body, letting you cry into his chest. you hate that you’re crying after such a successful day in your career. the play went perfectly, the crew and audience were singing praises of you but nothing in your personal life was adding up.

“you would never do anything to hurt me, right?” jimin’s heart stops as you softly ask him, looking up at him with teary eyes, you don’t know why you ask him but you need to be sure of that one thing, if not anything else. his hand that was rubbing your arms in an attempt to console you, stop in a jerk and his heart drops to his stomach at the way you’re looking at with so much vulnerability.

“why would i?” he nervously smiles, and even if it would have looked unconvincing to you usually, your fragile heart just accepted the false reassurance he gave you.

he’ll find a way to make it up to you, jimin thinks to himself. someday, he will wake up and think of you as he used to, and not hyejin. someday, he will start writing you love letters again instead of apologies. someday, jimin will find himself that loved you so much and everything will be okay again.

-

you stay home a lot, either worrying about your relationship or attending calls with future acts and partnerships. you felt blessed that at least your professional life was looking up.

but you missed jimin a lot, you offered to watch him practice and meet with his crew, and all those times, jimin immediately refused before backing it up with some lame excuse. you don’t push him though; you know that the play is weighing heavily on his mind with how silent he got around the home but you didn’t know that he was actually thinking of ways to let you down slowly.

he never ends up telling you.

before either of you know it, the day of jimin’s play arrives, he leaves home early and you’re left buzzing with excitement at home to finally see jimin as the black swan on stage.

you hummed as you got ready with a faint smile on your face, you were happy to see the play but you were actually happier that once it’s over, you could finally talk things out with jimin and build your relationship again together. you wanted him to know you forgave him, you consoled the angry part of you that there would be even more to look forward to in the future.

you carry this renewed hope all the way to the grand theatre where everyone looked and were expensive in every sense, the black swan wasn’t open for just everyone, it was a highly exclusive guest list and you couldn’t care less about all the glamours, you wanted to see the black swan himself and his white swan, who you were more than curious about.

you clutch the flowers in your hand tighter in anticipation as you take your seat and the lights start dimming away. and you let out an audible gasp when you see the white swan starting the stage, she’s a strong woman adorned with wings that look as pure as her but you could notice that shift in her eyes, the shift between passion and madness. you watch with wide eyes as she falls down, dragging her feet along the stage, begging the floor and her body to dance again before she’s pulled away.

and that’s when your breath is truly taken away. because jimin enters with onyx wings and smudged black eyes as she is being dragged away, and when jimin twirls on stage, the crowd holds their breath, not a single person wanting to forget how magically he moved on stage.

it’s the next scene that reels you in because the white and black swan are so close, you can’t even tell where the white swan begins and the black swan ends, it’s like the child-like purity and innocence dance right along with the absolute submission to your craft and the consequences that come with it.

you shift uncomfortably at the proximity the two share which was weird, you have never felt this way with any of his other dancers but something about the way they looked at each other, as they moved together, irked you.

but you don’t have time to think, the music becomes louder and louder, invading your senses fully and signaling finality to the play and the swans move quicker, sharper, and closer. your eyes burn with newfound jealousy as they finally leap into the sky, both their bodies remaining graceful even in the air with arms wrapped around each other, only to fall back down together, the music ceases immediately and the curtain falls on their heavy breathing but unmoving bodies.

the theatre is silent for a beat or two, everyone trying to encapsulate the truly terrific performance they just saw, and then the silence is replaced with the loudest applause you have ever heard in your life.

the kind of applause that hyejin promised jimin.

you stay in your seat, still a little dizzy from what you just experienced and you try to ignore the weird feeling in your stomach, trying to reassure yourself that dancing together required the right kind of chemistry and that’s it.

it is not connected to the many nights jimin has not come home, it is not connected to him suddenly insisting to do his own laundry, it is definitely not connected to him missing your anniversary and debut as a director.

it can’t be, jimin wouldn’t do that to you.

but your gut knows that something is terribly wrong and you’ve missed something huge from the past couple of months.

you slowly walk to where the reporters stand, hoping to see jimin and they all chatter loudly, preparing every question in their mind to ask the stars of the night, you nervously hold your bouquet close as you keep walking to the stage.

and your steps pause.

because jimin and hyejin, now free of costumes but with their theatrical makeup, step out from behind the curtains while holding hands with beaming smiles on their faces.

you tilt your head in confusion because jimin’s never held any of his dance partners’ hands when they walk out, your gut instinct pulls at you and just as you’re about to shrug it off, hyejin leans in for a kiss with jimin.

the camera flashes go off, all the reporters wildly shouting at them to pose and your blood runs cold, your body remains completely still as you watch them pull away with adoration in their eyes. you almost recoil from the sight as you feel the breath knocked out of you, you want to get away from this because it can’t be your jimin on the stage kissing someone else.

“are you two finally confirming the rumors?” a reporter yells on the top of his lungs.

what rumors?

hyejin rests her head on jimin’s chest with a happy nod, the questions come in rapid speed after that.

your heart submerges in pure betrayal because this was jimin, he was your day one, he was the reason you fought to stay alive in this industry for so long, he was supposed to be your future, you never imagined growing older without jimin by your side.

you look at jimin, trying to meet his eyes, trying to get him to explain what was happening and why he was holding her the way he was, why was he looking at her like he looked at you? but he doesn’t spare you a glance, he only has eyes for the woman latched onto his torso.

you feel sick.

you feel sick and angry as your vision fills with red.

you see red, all you see is dirty, dark, spilled and stained red clouding your mind and you hate that your gut was right, it’s been right from the very beginning. each time jimin didn’t come, it wasn’t because he was working hard, it was because he bought into every fantasy hyejin narrated to him but you don’t know that.

jimin finally meets your gaze, his heart racing a million miles as he senses the full force of betrayal and disappointment in your eyes, he also sees raging anger which has him looking away from you. even standing here with everything that hyejin promised, jimin doesn’t feel good, he’s like a shell, he doesn’t feel the same warmth in his heart that he does after every performance.

for a split moment, jimin doesn’t want what hyejin is giving him but he hesitates and hyejin always knows when jimin hesitates, so as soon as his grip loosens around her hand and she knows where he’s looking, she tightens her hold and gives him a tight smile.

“i told you, there’s no use fighting me, jimin. not anymore” she whispers sweetly into his ear with a grin, it would look like she was being an affectionate lover but jimin senses the warning in her tone.

so, he resists fighting anyway.

the thing is, jimin could fight, he could search desperately for a part of him that loved you but he chooses not to, he chooses to give you up.

she feels like you anyway and he’s already lost you; he can’t lose everything else too, especially not this loud applause and flashing cameras, jimin cannot risk giving his career up to god.

so when he glances back at you and the crumbling bouquet in your hand with pity on his face, you deem him a coward.

a coward for hiding behind hyejin, a coward for not ending things with you the way you both deserved, a coward for lying every single time you needed honesty from him, and a coward for looking at you with pity when he was more pitiable.

but you can’t help but feel like you were just as much a coward like him. a coward for not confronting him about his odd behavior earlier, a coward for not wanting to know why exactly he wasn’t coming home, a coward for forgiving him for the sake of keeping your relationship intact, and you feel ashamed of yourself.

once it becomes clear to you that jimin wasn’t yours’ anymore, you gather the energy to walk out of the theatre with your head held high because you are not the liar here, you didn’t stomp on someone’s heart so you will crumble only when you’re alone again.

and jimin stays right beside hyejin, while trying to ignore the sinking feeling his heart puts him through as he watches you leave through his periphery, he shudders as the door shuts behind you and he lets his eyes wander on the beautiful red roses spilled where you stood.

jimin’s definitely lost you now so with teary eyes and flashbacks of you two with the word ‘together’ stilling in his mind, he straightens up and flashes a bright, uneasy smile to the cameras and hopes that the flashes make him forget about the pain he’s caused you.

but jimin would never forget.

he will never forget the spectacular red pool that he drowned your relationship in.

is it that hard?- j.hs

genre: fluff, pining, f2l, mild angst and heavy suggestive content (13k)

summary: suddenly, hoseok being just your friend and waking up with five words swirling in your head, that you are sure you have never heard anyone utter before, both stop making any sense.

all works in the series can be real individually.

masterlist   series masterlist (colors universe)

it was a normal day.

a completely normal day.

you woke up and went to work with uninterested steps only to find some relief in your boring routine when your best friend greets you right by the elevator with a cup of coffee that he knows you will crave.

“you are a lifesaver” you thanked him with a grateful smile and he nodded with the ever-present grin on his face, even bowing like a prince to be further dramatic which made you laugh.

you both walked to your cubicles, excitedly filling each other in on whatever show you were watching the previous night.

hoseok, quite literally, was the reason you got up in the morning. since he was a morning person, he called you right when he woke up because he knows that alarms are useless for you, and by the time you come to work, he’s either waiting for you at the elevator or in the break room, sometimes with coffee that he knows you will need. he always guessed on when you need it more, if you ever sounded especially tired during your call, he did you one better and gets you a bagel too because that’s just hoseok, ever so giving and loving.

the way you met was nothing extraordinary, he was introduced as the new member of your department and your utter lack of enthusiasm in the meeting had amused hoseok, he had silently laughed under his breath when you rolled your eyes at the irritating manager who kept dragging on his speech, that was the moment he knew that you two would get along.

that particular second or two, as you rolled your eyes, hoseok felt like a feather, his body got lighter as his tension faded away and his smile grew wider and that moment was etched in his mind, that temporary relief of seeing something real in all the robotic faces around him, he doesn’t think he will ever forget that. in his defense, you always remember how you meet a friend, especially a friend like you.

hoseok was a polite person, never hostile in his behavior or in the way he talked, he was always smiling but as much as hoseok was smiling on the outside, his co-workers annoyed the hell out of him and it seemed like you didn’t try to hide your annoyance unlike him and that’s how you became friends, he made a snide remark about an over-enthusiastic member on his team and you burst out laughing.

hoseok liked being the reason for your laugh then; that hasn’t changed.

“i can’t believe her, honestly” you shook your head as your eyes narrowed down on the topic of your conversation, kang mina. “why would she even expect me to do over-time just for the pathetic little project that she was supposed to be done with ages ago?” you continued to complain as hoseok snickered beside you. “she did the same thing to me, with our last project, i was so close to banging my head into my screen” he threw a petty glare at her and that’s exactly when she decided to turn around.

you held back a snicker as his glare comically melted into a polite nod and smile to her, he really couldn’t be rude to anyone.

and when she gave him a forced smile back, you could tell it took everything in him to not scowl at her. she turned to you, but she just nodded, she knew better than to expect a greeting from you.

“anyway, that stupid company camp trip they do is only days away now and i just want this project to be over by then, i want to properly relax this time around” you sighed as you leaned on the table behind you and hoseok raised his eyebrows at you.

“they announced it already?”

“yeah, only two days ago though, they will probably e-mail us later about it. i am definitely going this time” you nod determinedly. “this is a first, you are always the quickest to refuse the invitation for over two years now” hoseok recalls how adamant you were about not going as he stirred his coffee; he had tried everything he could to convince you to come but you didn’t budge.

‘i already see these people way more than i should, i’m not spending my precious vacation with them too’ is what you had said in finality then and hoseok, though dejected, had gone by himself, his extroverted nature made it easy for him to blend in with them but he wouldn’t admit it to you that he constantly pondered over how fun it would have been if you went with him.

“i thought it over and it can’t be that bad, you know? it’s free food and free stay for a few days in the countryside, and i heard that they’re taking a really sweet resort this time around. besides, you will be there so i want to try it this time” hoseok ignored how his heart skipped a beat when you mentioned him as one of the reasons you wanted to go, he reasoned to himself that you wanted him there, because he was, well, your friend. your best friend.

and he had no right to feel sad over the fact that you were just his best friend.

“i’m going too, so this should be fun” he hums as he excuses himself and leaves the break room, you blink confusedly as he moves hurriedly but shrug it off, thinking he must have something important to do.

that day, you reach home and fall on your sofa in a lump, not even removing your coat as you stretch yourself to relieve the tension collected in your neck and shoulders.

you groaned as you gathered the sheets around you to finally fall asleep that day and your phone dinged to alert you of a message.

‘good night pookie<3’ it read and it was from none other than hoseok, a smile immediately grew on your face as you recalled the first time hoseok had called you that, it took you by surprise then but you didn’t feel disgusted by it as you did with most nicknames. somehow, from him, it didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world.

you quickly texted him back and your smile remained as you slipped into a deep slumber.

and suddenly, it wasn’t a normal day anymore.

in the middle of the night, as the wind from your window that you forgot to close chilled your room, you kept tossing and turning as your skin heated up unnaturally, your sheets no longer being a comfort but a nuisance, you kicked them off somewhere in the middle of the night but you still were stuck in a place between the deepest sleep you’ve ever had to the most awake you’ve ever been. your pillow felt like a rock and your head felt two thoughts away from exploding into a million pieces.

but you stayed asleep, stubborn and adamant to get some rest, and it was miles away from a good sleep, but sleep nonetheless.

the following morning, you woke up with a start, sitting up as soon as you opened your eyes and placing a hand on your abnormally racing heart.

because it’s always been you.

where did that come from?

you couldn’t think of anything but those five words that stayed circling in your still tired mind, but you have never heard them in all your life, you don’t remember anyone telling you anything remotely as affectionate as that but somehow it seems like your mind is convinced that you have heard it and that you need to keep remembering those five words particularly.

you felt disoriented, you weren’t used to having such a restless sleep nor were you used to your heart beating out of its cage or even your sweaty palms.

“what the hell?” you whisper to yourself as you look around your room in a hurry, trying to scan for anything that could have made you feel this unsettled.

nothing looked out of place, everything looked the same. you unconsciously patted yourself to find your forehead and eyebrows lined with beads of sweat that you wiped away with your already sweaty palms.

what was going on?

as you frowned at your state and started moving around your bed in a daze, the shrill sound of your ringtone made you jump before groaning at how stupid you must look right now and grabbing it harshly from the bedside table.

“good morning pookie” hoseok greeted in a sing-song tone with a rough voice, having just woken up a while ago, as soon as you answered his call.

because it’s always been you.

you don’t answer hoseok and silence continues between you two as you frown yet again, trying to zero in on those five words and why you can’t get them out of your head.

“pookie...everything okay? do you need five more minutes?” though hoseok’s sentence starts with worry for you, it fades into a more playful tone as he thinks that maybe you just didn’t want to get up today.

“yeah, yes, everything is…alright, everything is the same, as it’s always been” you ramble as you try to convince yourself that these were just words, you will eventually forget them but you still couldn’t understand why your skin burned the way it did or why your chest suddenly felt like it was out of air.

“…well, i’m glad you are up, it would have been a pain to wake you up again. see you at work then, get your ass up and get ready soon” hoseok sounds unsure, not knowing what to make of your rambling because you never talk this much in the morning but he decides to let it go for now.

“see you at work, hobi” you say in a small voice, cutting the call and falling back on your bed with a thud and you solidify in your head that no one would know about this until you figure it out yourself.

it was a normal day.

a completely normal day.

at least that’s what it was before your chest filled with the weight of something that wasn’t heavy per se, just an uneasy fluttering that didn’t go away.

-

you tiredly leaned your body on the printer as it churned out pages that you needed to revise for your project, your eyes kept falling shut as the lack of sleep caught up to you.

because it’s always been you.

there it was again.

constantly revolving, wavering in your head, and refusing to be forgotten.

words that you have never uttered or heard someone else utter.

“there you are! i’ve been looking everywhere for you” you heard in the distance but you didn’t move or respond, your body stayed on the printer as its slow buzz and the gentle clattering of pages against each other served as a lullaby to you.

because it’s always been you.

you groaned, turning your head away with your eyes sealed shut, hoping that ignoring it would make it go away.

“hello” hoseok sang as he stepped closer to you but he paused immediately when he saw your knitted eyebrows and shut eyes.

because it’s always been you.

he stepped in front of you, thinking that you would at least see him then but you seemed way too lost in whatever you were thinking to register his presence, so hoseok tugged on your hand, his touch as gentle as ever.

because it’s always been-

your eyes snapped open, breath coming out in a rush as you looked around you, just like you did in the morning. when you see hoseok in front of you, you don’t know why you do it. maybe you were exhausted, maybe you were just sick of thinking of those five words, maybe the night of no sleep was catching up to you, but your body falls on him as a sigh of relief escapes you, quiet as ever, your body was looking to seek any kind of relief you could get and your palms curl on his dress shirt, and hoseok freezes.

his arms stay in the air as his body stays alert at the sudden contact but hoseok scolds himself, he was your friend and you were not feeling well so he had to quit acting like this was the first time you both have ever hugged, hell you both have come close to cuddling when you were drunk sometimes so he sucked a long breath and his arms wrapped around you, his palms gently patting your body to calm down.

he didn’t ask why you were this way; he didn’t ask even when you moved away from him, seemingly still in a daze, and left the room with papers bunched up in your arms, hoseok never asked because he didn’t want to make whatever you felt, worse. that was the last thing he wanted.

and frankly, his body betrayed him the second you touched him. he would never tell another living soul that he had to clutch his chest to calm his racing heart before leaving the copy room himself.

-

“damn, really? how much are they spending this time around?” you overhead from your cubicle and your interest peaked as you listened in carefully.

because it’s always been you.

you shake your head to forget about that right now, you were way more interested in what your colleagues were talking about.

“yeah, i didn’t believe it myself but seems like they want to do better than our rival company, so they are going all-out this time” you squinted your eyes as you tried to figure out what it could mean, and when you looked up again, they were looking right at you with a frown.

you frowned right back at them.

fine, eavesdropping wasn’t great but it wasn’t a crime either, they didn’t have to look at you like you killed someone.

they started whispering to each other as they bundled their work into their arms along with their coffee cups, heading into the break room while throwing dirty looks at you.

and you glared right back at them, leaning back and groaning as soon as they completely left your vision. you rolled back in your chair to hit against hoseok’s chair, startling him and moved your chair to his side. his figure momentarily froze as you invaded his space, before loosening up to lean into your side.

“do you know what they were talking about?” you whispered, for dramatic effect. you didn’t need to, considering that most of the people around you went for their break but hoseok played along with you anyway.

“who?” he whispered back.

you pointed, as sneakily as you could, towards the two girls who acted like you set their hair on fire by listening in on them. hoseok leaned forward, even more, to catch who you were showing and your throat closed up when you felt his breath right by your cheek.

he moved away as quickly as he had come forward but your breath stayed caught in your throat, your hands reached to scratch your neck nervously as your skin got warmer than necessary.

because it’s always been you.

“no, i wasn’t listening to them, i had my headphones in. but they look very pissed and keep pointing at you” he informed you and you took full offense to it, completely forgetting how flustered you were just seconds ago. “i listened to one conversation, only for two minutes, i swear hobi, i don’t know what that did to them, they won’t stop looking at me like i kicked their puppy.” you complained to him and he hid his grin at your whiney tone.

hoseok’s eyebrows shot to the sky as you started getting up, with obvious irritation on your face and he immediately sat up straighter, looking around to find where your eyes were throwing daggers.

“hey, you two.” he heard you say loudly, obviously directed at the two girls, his eyes widened as you pinned them down with a glare. “i don’t think this is a good idea, maybe we sh-“ he starts to say, as always, trying to defuse the situation and even tugs on the hem of your skirt to try and get your attention.

but you are running on no sleep, you have been annoyed since the second you woke up and these girls were grinding on your nerves.

“do we have a problem?” in contrast to your words, you have a polite smile on your face because you, if not anything, are professional, at least that’s what you always tell hoseok. but anyone with eyes and ears could see that you were so close to losing it on those two.

hoseok is stuck somewhere between being proud that you don’t take shit from anyone and petrified about your manager finding out.

he can only exhale in relief when you sit back down and turn to him with a smile. and hoseok smiles back easily, even if the lingering fear of your manager stays, it looked like you didn’t care so he let it go.

“so yeah, where was i? they were talking about something having a huge budget this time and how our company is competing with the rival company, that’s all i got before they left” you rambled on as if the last five minutes didn’t happen as if you didn’t just subtly threaten your colleagues and hoseok is yet again amused by you.

“i think it’s about the camping trip”

“there’s a budget for it this time?”

“yeah, didn’t you know? they are planning some fancy evening event too, i just hope it’s not mandatory to attend” he shakes his head as he says it, if he hated anything in the world, it was stuffy suits. he much preferred his comfortable style of baggy jeans and trendy t-shirts.

“i am looking forward to it, there’s this dress that i’ve been dying to wear since i got it but i haven’t had anything to wear it to” hoseok knew exactly which dress you were talking about, you had excitedly face timed him to show him the dashing hot pink dress that you got on one of your impulsive shopping trips.

hoseok has been dying to see you in the dress too.

but he can’t say anything about it, he can’t tell you all the thoughts he had the second you showed him the dress.

all he can do is smile tightly at your excitement and pray that you don’t notice anything.

because it’s always been you.

-

“they are taking forever to load these bags, hell i would do it quicker” you stand with your arms crossed, a semi-permanent scowl resting on your face that hoseok laughs at. “they are almost done, besides look at what i got” he opens his backpack wide, showing you the various snacks he packed and wiggles his eyebrows at you and you gasp in delight.

“you perfect son of a bitch” you reach out to grab some of the snacks and smile so wide at them that hoseok’s not sure if you are talking about him or the snacks.

he’s guessing it’s the snacks and he’s 100% right.

but he watches happily as you continue to gush about your favorite peach-flavored drinks and chocolates that you know you will devour immediately. somewhere in the middle of your happy trance, you glance up to catch him staring at you already with the fondest look on his face.

“what?” you ask, never really knowing how to read a room and hoseok immediately snaps out of it, shaking his head with a nervous smile.

“it just seems like you love the snacks more than me” he pretends to be hurt, cradling his chest with sniffles as fake as your eyelashes, and you roll your eyes with an involuntary smile, “that was never in question.”

and soon, after a little longer of your constant complaints about the bags, everyone started boarding the bus and you got on last, looking everywhere to find yourself a seat in the packed bus.

there were empty seats, but they were next to people that you had no interest in sitting next to, most of them would chew your ears out and you didn’t want to get violent in a moving bus. just then, you saw hoseok’s hand waving you to him and you made your way to him.

“saved you a seat” he offered, getting up and showing you the window seat which you happily settled into. “don’t you like window seats too?” you asked, fiddling with the scarf in your hands and hoseok shrugged. “on the way back, i’ll take it. for now, you relax” he sang the last line and slumped into his seat. your heart warmed at his thoughtfulness and once you caught onto how you didn’t stop staring at him, you quickly jerked your head away and leaned it onto the bus window.

the ride was bumpy, which you expected given the less-than-perfect road leading to the resort situated somewhere in the middle of the hill. your body was thrown in a different direction every time the bus took a turn and it irritated your half-asleep state, your head was starting to hurt from how many times it hit the window but one particularly harsh bump landed your head on something warm and soft.

you sighed happily and nuzzled carefully into the warmth being offered and felt a weight on the top of your head that you blissfully ignored.

because it’s always been you.

-

after another hour or so, the bus finally halts and you stir awake once you feel the weight on your head vanish, you yawn loudly as you stretch your legs under your seat and look up to see hoseok awake but he looks a lot closer than he was when you first started.

hoseok, on the other hand, was freaking out because he woke up with your head on his shoulder, both your arms tangled somewhere in the middle of your bodies, and his head was resting on yours. he almost jumped in surprise but then paused at the realization that he would wake you up.

he watches with his breath caught in his throat as you slowly sit up and move your arms around to relax them, he didn’t know what you were thinking, he didn’t want to know if it was anything remotely close to disgust.

“good morning” you gave him a tired smile and he nodded, waiting to see if you were going to say anything else but you don’t. you don’t even seem to acknowledge that you both were pressed against each other for the past hour or so, he isn’t sure how to feel about that.

“it looks lovely, doesn’t it?” you ask him, and he leans forward to look out the window. his gaze shifts to the resort where you will be staying for the next few days. you were right, it was quite lovely, it was covered with pastel flowers and had vines growing on its sides and it looked massive with a vintage touch to its exterior.

“we should get going” he mumbles suddenly, his voice unusually stoic as he hastily gets up and starts packing his coat and scarf into his backpack. “hobi, there’s no rush, half the people in the front haven’t even gotten off” you tell him, and he looks at the door to see that you were, once again, right. everyone was standing up to leave now so it was starting to get crowded at the door but hoseok couldn’t stay around you, this close, for much longer. he doesn’t trust his mind or body too much when they are with you.

so, he ignores what you say and marches down the bus length while murmuring apologies to the people he was softly pushing out of the way. you stare at him as he gets down the bus, confused and annoyed because he could have just waited and then gotten down, you would have gotten down with him but you let it go, thinking that the travel must have been exhausting for him.

you take in the view with a deep breath and an easy smile on your face, the sun was shining as bright as ever, but the wind quickly proved to be too cool for you to stay and enjoy for too long so you made your way along the rocks to the resort.

because it’s always been you.

people greeted you as you entered the cottage to which you tried to give your most professional smile, the lobby was packed with everyone you knew from work and you already felt suffocated when you pushed around to get your room key.

“a suite room?” you frowned at the lady at the reception and she nodded, you shook your head at her, there was no way your company spent that much money on you alone, there had to be a catch. you heard your manager, ms. ahn’s, voice calling out to you, to which you turned around and bowed when she approached you.

“i hope you got some sleep on that bus, we have a campfire planned in the next few hours and i look forward to seeing you there” she smiled warmly but you knew what that meant, it was compulsory to attend and you had no way out of it. “can’t wait” you answered, not trying to hide your sarcasm, “also, is everyone getting a suite room?” you asked, lifting your key.

ms. ahn looked at you like you were crazy and you hesitantly lowered your key.

“everyone is sharing a room because you know how a budget works” ms. ahn laughed heartily and you wanted to pull her eyes out because you knew for a fact that she got one of the biggest rooms there and she was staying alone. “then who am i staying with?”

“hoseok, you two seem close so i thought it best for you to share a room” then she walks away to greet the others who have arrived, your eyes land on her key while your feet stay frozen on the ground.

not only was it incredibly unprofessional for her to just assume you would be okay with sharing a room with him, but it also drove you insane that she had the best room in the entire cottage, complete with three rooms in the premium suite room all to herself.

and it wasn’t like you didn’t want to share a room with hoseok, given the choice, you would probably choose him over everyone else too, but you would have appreciated it a lot more if you had been told about this before. you didn’t particularly want to walk around hoseok in your booty shorts.

you couldn’t do anything now; you couldn’t argue with your manager nor did you want to stay with anyone else, so you sucked in a deep breath and walked to your room.

you opened the door to find a reasonably sized lounge area with a television, gaming consoles attached to it, and a singular couch, you sighed out in relief when you found two rooms in the suite instead of one like you had feared.

“i was worried about the same thing” you heard hoseok say from his doorway, “don’t get me wrong, i just prefer sleeping like a starfish at night” he plops down on the couch and pats the spot next to him, you scurry to sit down next to him and groan as you feel your muscles appreciate the softness of a sofa instead of a bus seat.

hoseok had gone as pale as a ghost when he was first told about the both of you sharing a room, he was so terrified of the thought that he had rushed to the room to check what it was like and much like you, found relief in the two separate bedrooms in the suite but there was also a tinge of disappointment he felt, that you didn’t.

because while he did not trust himself around you, he also knew that somewhere in him, a small (big) part of him would have been ecstatic to have you that close.

but he gave himself a pep talk before you arrived, he was going to do everything in his power to ignore his feelings, he was going to ignore how his heart jumped whenever you smiled at something he said, he was going to ignore that you were right next door to him, he was going to ignore all of his thoughts for this week.

-

“sometimes, i look in her eyes, and that’s where i find, a glimpse of us” a co-worker sang loudly as he strummed the guitar, his face was lit up by the crackling campfire in the middle of the circle you were all sat in.

you were not going to lie, he had a good voice and his guitar was somewhat soothing in the calm of the night but you were getting bored, the alcohol in your cup had run out hours ago and you were too lazy to go and get a refill.

hoseok, on the other hand, was having the time of his life, harmonizing with the guy who was singing and swaying lightly with the people sitting beside him. he looked happy, you noted with a smile on your face, and then it was like you couldn’t look away from hoseok.

you liked seeing him happy, you liked seeing him sway without a care in the world, you had always liked seeing hoseok, you had always liked hoseok.

but he was especially pleasant to look at today and he didn’t even do anything. he was wearing a cream cardigan with a black t-shirt and sweatpants so, it wasn’t a special look at all, just something he would wear at home too.

you couldn’t look away though, it didn’t matter that it wasn’t special, it didn’t matter that it was the most ordinary outfit you had seen him in, it didn’t matter that hoseok was only your friend. seemingly at that moment, nothing mattered more than hoseok and the fire basking his face in a glow, you weren’t sure you would ever be able to forget this hoseok.

hoseok, your friend.

because it’s always been you.

you had never looked at him this way and every laugh that left his lips made you question if you had ever made him laugh like that and if you did,

why was the sound so much more precious to you now?

why did you want to sit beside him, share the cardigan and sway with him?

why did he suddenly feel so far away?

why was your heart beating out of your chest from just looking at him?

why was this minute different from all the other hours that you’ve spent with hoseok?

you aren’t sure why your eyes tear up, you don’t even notice until your hands reach to wipe them off, you aren’t sure why everyone looked and felt so happy around you and even if nothing was wrong, you didn’t feel it. the last time you felt like this, five words had been stuck in your mind with no escape and that feeling of beautiful breathlessness had returned with a vengeance.

you take a shaky breath in, force your eyes away from hoseok and his otherworldly glow, and focus on the burning pit in front of you with more resignation than you would admit to.

unbeknownst to you, hoseok had been noticing your every move from the corner of his eyes, since you both have been sitting opposite each other, and concern for you filled his every crevice when he saw you wipe away tears, he did not know that it was because of him or for him, he had no knowledge that you had started looking at him the way he looked at you, he only knew that you were crying and he couldn’t wipe your tears away.

his eyes snap up to see you swiftly excuse yourself and leave the place with arms folded across your chest, he doesn’t even think before he hurriedly gets up himself and follows you aimlessly. you stop at the lake which was barely illuminated by the moonlight and your body stays tense as you stare emptily at the water body in front of you.

you hate the way you feel, the slow tightening of your chest was unfamiliar and uncomfortable with a realization that you weren’t ready to face.

because it’s always been you.

“his singing was that bad, huh?” hoseok stepped beside you after giving you a minute to yourself, till he couldn’t just stand and look at you, not being your usual self at all. you let out a tired chuckle and ready yourself to see hoseok, more beautiful than usual, without making it too obvious how you were looking at him.

“i wish he just stopped when his voice cracked singing jingle bells” you retorted and his loud cackle of a laugh, that you had grown to love, had filled the area and you quickly accept that you loved his sound more than any calm in the world. “it’s the middle of fucking august” you throw your hands up, your smile growing when the place rings with his laughter again.

so, you could make him laugh like they did, even louder actually, and that fills you with pride you didn’t recognize.

it all dies down to a dull hum in the atmosphere, a little too loud of silence for two people who would spend hours and hours talking.

“i like your cardigan” you blurt out, wanting to desperately fill in the silence somehow and hoseok raises his eyebrow at you with a pleased smile. “you can have it” he offers it so easily but then again; you shouldn’t have forgotten how selfless hoseok was.

“no, no” you shook your head, you didn’t want the cardigan, you wanted the man wearing it. “i meant, i like it on you” you correct yourself and swiftly glance away to look at the branches swaying lightly in the wind, even if the absence of light made you strain your eyes.

hoseok does a double-take at your words.

his entire body feels warm and he wants to run away because he can’t have you see him all flustered and flabbergasted over the simplest compliment.

could you perhaps feel the same way?

a fleeting thought comes across his mind and he instinctively turns to you for confirmation, with renowned hope but when all he meets is your eyes far away from him and the familiar disappointment he’s felt since his heart grew a second beat for you, he recoils and immediately scolds himself for even having that thought.

“don’t compliment me all too much, it will get to my head” he tries to joke but his voice comes out weird, what his face could hide, his voice really couldn’t but you don’t notice, you are busy with hiding your own face.

“i take it back, that cardigan will look better on me” you retort, you never could let someone win a round, and hoseok bites back laughter at your wittiness as he shakes his head, disagreeing with you and you gasp, because how dare he but you clamp your mouth shut as he starts shrugging the cardigan off.

you can’t help how you hold your breath when he steps forward and drapes it over your shoulders.

he nods with a smile you’ve never seen him sport before.

“it does look better on you.”

-

“and that’s five for me!” you screech excitedly after you, once again, beat hoseok at mario kart. he just sighs in faux disappointment and drops his console, though a small smile threatens to sneak on his face at how happy you sound.

“i can’t believe how horrible you are at this” you continue to tease him and hoseok doesn’t want to break your bubble by admitting that he’s been letting you win from the start.

tekken, he just made the weakest moves and didn’t dodge your attacks, he found it cute when you kept wincing in pain as your avatar took a hit or two.

racing cars, he intentionally kept bumping into the sidelines and delaying his obvious speed over you.

wwe, well, he didn’t even try for that, just pressed one button so you wouldn’t get suspicious and let you beat his avatar to a pulp.

and everyone knew hoseok was a genius at mario kart, so he let you take all the power-ups and sat back to watch you win again and again.

“i can’t believe how horrible i am at this either” hoseok really couldn’t believe how ridiculous he got over you, he never let anyone win but you, he wouldn’t even try to take a win away from you.

“that was fun, we should do this again so you can watch me beat your ass every single time” you hummed, as you fell back on the couch beside him, still giddy from winning and he scowls playfully, “as if you will win next time” he argues, knowing damn well that he will let you win next time too.

you smack his arm with a pillow and hoseok, being the dramatic guy he is, falls on the ground while clutching his arm while you hold back laughter on the couch.

you were glad you both weren’t acting any different after what happened at the campfire. that night, you got no sleep, you continuously wrapped the cardigan around you while images of hoseok’s soft voice and smile kept you up all night. hoseok already knew that he had crossed a line he never should have so as soon as you got up, he tried to act as casual as he could and convinced you to stay in and play games with him, and somewhere in the middle of the excitement of playing, the previous night slipped your mind but now, it was back.

and you were back to not being able to forget how he looked at you again.

hoseok stayed on the floor and patted the spot next to him, and without a word, you laid down next to him, and when he shifted to lay on his side so he could look at you better, your head lulls to instinctively fall on his shoulder.

you felt warm, you felt safe and you felt, as cliché as it sounds, complete.

you felt complete with hoseok.

because it’s always been you.

you meet his eyes which were already on you and both of you burst into giggles, you don’t know why you are laughing, but you were and it felt like the rest of the world closed in you two, suddenly nothing else seemed to matter other than the smile you kept on each other’s faces.

and right now as you slumped on his shoulder with quiet laughs escaping your lips, hoseok wishes for nothing more, for the rest of his life. he realizes nothing made him feel more accomplished in life than seeing you happy because of him.

you felt it too, the residual feelings of the previous night catching up with a vengeance and you had to turn your head away.

you couldn’t risk giving away how you felt about him, you couldn’t give away how your eyes were drowning him in pink, you couldn’t give away that you wanted to drown in that pink with him.

because it’s always been you.

“should i go and get us something to eat?” he finally broke the silence, but he broke it with a whisper, a whisper that traveled down your spine and made you squirm in your spot. “that would be nice, yeah” you whisper back with a gulp and your eyes stay trained on the revolving fan above you as hoseok gets up and leaves the room.

a long breath pushes out of your body, it was like every single time you were around hoseok these days, your breath voluntarily stayed fighting in your body, even your breath was scared of being found out by hoseok.

then you close your eyes and wish for your heart to stop him from taking a hold of it any longer.

-

hoseok scrolls through his phone, waiting for the food he ordered at the small restaurant beside the resort, looking through movies and shows you would like to watch while eating.

“ah, hoseok!” he heard and turned around to see his co-worker chaeyoung and her friend walking towards him, he bows politely with a smile and they do the same. “you are getting breakfast now?” she asks him when the waiter places his order on the counter and he nods, “yeah, it’s for me and y/n” he doesn’t even realize he’s smiling as he says that.

“see, he won’t go anywhere without them” chaeyoung complains playfully, narrowing her eyes at him and he tilts his head in confusion. “haha, w-what do you mean by that?” hoseok’s voice is tight as he asks this and his laugh is fake as ever.

“we were supposed to go apple picking this morning and you told us you couldn’t, we were all wondering why but obviously, you have better plans” she teases him with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

right, the apple picking.

that he never told you about.

call him selfish but after the campfire, he couldn’t resist not being around you and he also knew that you wouldn’t like apple picking so he never ended up telling you, it wasn’t just to keep you with him.

at least, that’s what hoseok likes to believe.

“i was just tired, it has nothing to do with them” hoseok tries to backtrack and make up an excuse but he knows that chaeyoung wasn’t listening to a word out of his mouth. “whatever you say, hoseok” she sang before leaving him to himself.

later, it was hoseok’s turn to stay sleepless throughout the night, his baby pink t-shirt, out of nowhere, felt too tight on his body.

because it’s always been you.

-

massages were always a good idea but with kang mina biting your ear off with reminders of all the work you have to do, you would have rather just kept your tense shoulders to yourself.

“and don’t forget to send me that update on friday, i need it on my table as soon as we go back” this was the fourth time she was telling you about it and you wanted to turn the table over her head. “yes, i remember what you told me ten minutes ago” you gritted with a forced smile and almost smiled genuinely when the masseuse got to kneading the knots in your back but it quickly dropped as mina started talking again. “well, you tend to be quite forgetful, so this is just precaution,” she says it so casually that it infuriates you even more.

where was hoseok when you needed him?

normally, you would pick a fight with her (and win) but she was your leader for this particular project and you didn’t want to risk being responsible for overtime so you just nodded stiffly and threw your head on the soft table with a thud.

a few hours since you were all called for massages and you were separated from hoseok, you were already going crazy. you truly didn’t understand the depth the hate for your co-workers ran until you spent one solid hour with them in a stuffy, warm room filled with the smell of aroma oils.

“also, how’s it going on with you and hoseok?” mina asks, her tone a lot more careful and her volume almost a whisper, you whip your head at her. “what about me and him?” you didn’t mean to sound so defensive but it came out that way. and with the way mina was looking at you, you knew your response wasn’t normal.

“aren’t you two dating? i’m just asking what it is like?” first of all, you weren’t aware that mina felt close enough to ask you about your personal life, and second of all, your brain was short-circuited as she asked that.

even though the thought of you both dating coming from another person’s mouth, sounded good to you.

what were you doing?

hoseok was your friend.

“we are not dating, i don’t know why you would think that” you quickly dismiss it and mina shrugs, “everyone thinks that” and turns her head away before you could ask anything else.

-

you walk back to your room in a daze, a daze of both the spectacular massage (that you could finally enjoy towards the end) and also rushing thoughts of what mina said.

you looked around you, the room was filled with people you knew and you wondered if she was right, you wondered if all of them, giving you friendly smiles and waves, thought that you and hoseok were exclusive.

and you weren’t sure what to feel, sure it would explain why no one would flirt with either of you, but it didn’t make you any calmer about your already unsure and raging feelings for hoseok.

speaking of the devil himself, you felt an arm crash onto your shoulder from behind, you didn’t even bother looking at who it was, you already knew.

“i swear to god, that masseuse just gave me five extra lives, his hands were magic, literally magic” he raved about his massage and you couldn’t bring yourself to excitedly share details about your massage too, you couldn’t get it out of your head that hoseok was giving them confirmation for whatever they thought.

you nervously looked back up to meet the eyes of your manager who smirked at you and hoseok’s arm around your shoulder, and maybe if you were in the right mind, you would know that she was giving her usual, employee-friendly smile, you would know that she wasn’t thinking of you and hoseok at all.

but you weren’t in your right mind, hoseok’s hand on you suddenly felt heavier than it ever did before, it held the weight of your co-worker’s whispers, it held the weight of your growing heart for him, and the heaviest of all, it held the weight of everything you were scared of ruining if you ever told him.

you were stuck between wanting to simultaneously feel this weight forever and never feel it again.

it used to be light as a feather, a pastel pink bubble you could float in, a reassurance in your demanding workplace, a friend you could count on for everything, and now, it was still all that and so much more than you could handle.

“we should go and get ready quickly, the party starts soon” your voice was odd, tight and nothing like how you talked to hoseok, none of the warmth you held for him reflected in your voice and he must’ve noticed too because his arm slowly slips away, you were left both in relief and yearning at his movement.

“is everything okay? did something happen?” he says with so much concern in his eyes, that you almost let loose of every resolve you’ve held onto and in that quick second, you could have spilled your love for him on the floor.

you loved hoseok.

you are not sure you ever loved him as a friend.

you swallow tightly, you loved hoseok, you finally admitted that to yourself while he scanned your face and body for something that could be bothering you. you would never see him like this again if you told him, you would be ruining everything if he even got the slightest hint of what you truly thought of him.

“just don’t want to be late” you offer a weak smile and walk away as hoseok starts to say something, you needed to get out, you needed to stay away before you ruined the both of you.

you needed to do everything you could to keep him in your life, even if it meant burying your heart six feet underground.

because it’s always been you.

-

you got ready in a robotic manner, styling your hair in a practiced way and putting on your favorite dress ever, and for makeup, you switched from your usual basic look to a smokey eye and dark, red lips that you hoped would give you enough confidence to just finish one more day around hoseok without wobbling at your knees.

you stared at yourself in the mirror, you looked prettier than ever, and still, something felt off. you were restless, scared of all the possibilities that would appear in the next 24 hours that you had to stay with him. nevertheless, you forced a smile on your face and decided you were going to have fun tonight and that you were going to stay far away from hoseok until you left this place.

“you ready?” a knock sounded through your door and you swallowed nervously, grabbed your heels, and made your way out.

your heels almost fell on the floor once you saw hoseok.

you had never seen hoseok so dressed up but with his classy black trousers, satin black shirt with a matching jacket on top, and a thin necklace dangling off his neck, you wanted to run back into your room and stay there until he got himself out of that outfit.

hoseok could sense the tense atmosphere, he could see the difference in the very way you breathed around him now, he could see how you shifted from foot to foot as you stood with your heels in your hands. but hoseok didn’t know how to ask you about it, how could he ask you when he too was scared of what you would say?

he wouldn’t know what to do if you said it was nothing, that the way you stared at him up and down was just a friendly appreciation, hoseok would rather carry his heart to a grave than hear you say that to him.

“i just need to put on my heels” your delayed response isn’t lost on him but he nods, pursing his lips and watching you try and push your feet into those heels that he was sure would be torturous.

he watched you struggle, hobbling on one foot as the other foot struggled to push itself completely into the heels, “fuck, they fit just last week, what the fuck happened?” you muttered, still trying to put it on with less grace than you would’ve liked.

and before you knew it, hoseok had taken several steps forward to lend his shoulder for your support and you don’t think as you grab onto his shoulder firmly, strapping the heel properly and sighing out. you shift onto the next foot and finish putting it on too, squeezing your hand around his shoulder tighter whenever you had to.

you puff out a breath of relief as you lift your head to look at hoseok again, and he’s looking down on you, his eyes swirling with something you could only describe as intense. the hand on his shoulder starts to fall away as your breath becomes shallow, but his hand quickly reaches to grip yours, making sure that it didn’t move away from his body.

because it’s always been you.

because it’s always been you.

because it’s always been you.

you opened your mouth to speak, to say something, to ask him why you had never seen his eyes that way but all words were stuck in your throat as you stay frozen in his steady glare on you.

hoseok couldn’t move his hand away, he couldn’t breathe, he hadn’t been able to even think since you stepped out of your room. he shared the confusion that you had in your eyes but something in him hit against his very surface, begging to be let out.

should he risk it?

should he risk the friendship he valued so much?

was it worth it to even give you this small confirmation of how he felt?

to make things worse for his poor mind and heart, you stepped forward too, refusing to look away and the hand on his shoulder slid down, slowly, unsurely, with a stutter in every glide but reaching to flatten against his chest at the end and his hand circled on your wrist as you paused to sense how his heart beat at that minute.

too quick, skipping a few beats here and there, and wanting to burst out of his cage.

much like yours.

because it’s always been you.

hoseok held his breath as your fingers folded against his chest, he thought he was dreaming when you started leaning in or did he lean in first? he wasn’t sure who finally tilted their head to meet each other in the middle but he knew that if you both continued moving the way you were, you were seconds away from kissing.

then, your lips closed on each other, you felt lightheaded, you felt like a trainwreck that you were waiting for, finally crashed spectacularly. he wasn’t even touching you but you could feel licks of fire beneath your skin,  your body felt the urge to touch him, to reach for him while he was this close to you. and every kiss you had before this, longer and filled with more hunger than this one, paled in comparison.

for that one second that you finally kissed him, every other yearning you had for anyone else, felt like nothing but a passing cloud and hoseok, he felt like the ever-present sky.

you wanted to grab his neck, you wanted to gasp into him, you wanted not even a bit of your body to be away from hoseok, you were drowning in pink of your love and need, you wanted to take him down with you.

hoseok’s heart was beating louder and louder, something about knowing that you could feel the way it beat for you too, made him tighten his grip on the hand that rested on his chest now.

like he wanted to tell you, ‘this is what you do to me, this is how you ruin my very anatomy, this is how i know that i can never love someone the way i love you.’

the message he wanted to convey was as desperate as he felt because now that he’s finally gotten a taste of you, he can’t go back from this, he can’t go back to anyone else, he can’t go back to pretending he never had his heart set on you.

feeling especially greedy, his other hand jerked to hold you, to finally feel you in his arms, to savor this moment properly before he could never see you in the same way again, and just like that as if every star in the sky was written against him tonight, the spell broke. you moved away so quickly, so easily slipping past his fingers that have waited to touch you like this forever now.

hoseok was left frazzled, his hand hovered in the air and his other hand dropped to his side in disappointment and his lips stayed still, already missing the warmth and he tried not to feel the drowning in him when he saw you look at him like he had stung you.

this was exactly what he was afraid to see on your face.

the regret.

the possibility of disgust.

he felt sick to his stomach.

you couldn’t believe what you had done, you couldn’t ignore how hoseok’s jaw set tightly or the faint yearning still swimming in his eyes, you knew he was too nice to say anything to you even if he didn’t want it to happen and you couldn’t believe you that you never even asked him.

“hoseok, i’m so sorry” you rushed to say and his face twisted in pain at how you said it.

the regret.

he felt it was too cruel of you to hand over the world to him and then snatch it away before he could hold it.

“i’m so, so sorry, i don’t know what came over me, it happened so fast, and i wasn’t thinking and i’m just so sorry” every word you uttered felt like a new knife digging into his skin, and he almost wanted to get on his knees and beg you to stop talking, to stop apologizing, to stop whatever it is you were doing to him.

hoseok didn’t feel like smiling and brushing it off as he usually would, maybe he would’ve even laughed it off and assured you it was okay but all he could manage to do was stand still and wish that everything before you apologized, remained true, and remained in his memory because that is all he might have now.

“let’s just go to the party, everyone must be waiting” you pushed past him in a hurry and then paused when you noticed something on his face.

the remainder of your red lips was smudged on his.

“you might want to wipe that off” you whispered, pointing to his lips with a face as red as your lipstick, before practically running out of your room, burning with guilt and shame.

and to hoseok, it felt like you were asking him to remove all evidence of whatever happened between you two.

he watched you leave with his twitching hands dug into his pockets, why wasn’t he able to utter even a word? why didn’t he stop you and ask you what it meant? why didn’t he stop you and tell you what he felt? why didn’t hoseok do anything at all except watch you walk away from whatever would change you two forever?

filled with regret, just as you, but also completely different at the same time, he wiped his lips off you and left the room too.

-

the ‘classy’ event was more or less a wild party for professionals to finally let loose and forget about work, even if it was just for a few hours. you were dragged away for drinks as soon as you arrived, and for the first time ever, you felt grateful for your co-workers who took you away.

“where’s hoseok?” chae-young screamed over the music and your blood froze, you had come to forget him and what you did, but it seemed like there was no escaping hoseok wherever you went. your answer to her was a weak shrug and chugging of the drink you held so tightly in your hands now.

knowing that it was free drinks all night, you took the liberty of downing pretty much anything and everything you saw and it wasn’t long before you ended up on the dance floor, surrounded by your drunk co-workers, your manager also joined you all at some point and maybe you would have been irritated when you were sober but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it right now, the sweet burning in your throat took your mind off everything for a while.

that was until you caught hoseok’s eye from across the room.

normally, you would be the one standing in the corner of the room and watching everyone have fun so it was strange to see hoseok, huddled up with his coat on his shoulder and a drink completely full in his hand with an uncaring air around him, he didn’t smile at anyone who passed by which came as a huge surprise to them.

he didn’t even smile at you, though your eyes caught his multiple times.

and even if you were drunk, even if your senses were brought down to ground zero, you still felt hoseok’s glare somewhere deep in you as your heart slipped and sank continuously. you couldn’t give less of a fuck if someone was ignoring you or didn’t care about you but everything seemed different with hoseok.

all you could care about was hoseok not smiling at you.

hoseok didn’t enjoy a minute of seeing you dance around happily and not being able to dance with you, or not taking shots with you, getting silly drunk with you. he missed it all, dearly but he didn’t move.

he would’ve left but he knew about the creeps that lurked in your company and even if he smiled at them in the office, he wouldn’t hesitate to break their face if they decided to touch you any more than necessary. though he was sure that you would beat him to it. he saw you look at him, several times and a small part of him hoped that you would take him away, kiss him again, tell him that you loved him, hoseok hated you for the enormous hope you gave him with a single kiss.

his heart soared with possibilities but your apology kept him from floating too far away, it kept him tethered to solid ground, a ground where you didn’t seem to love him the way he loved you.

-

once it got too late and alcohol ran out, everyone was ushered out of the ballroom, hoseok set his half-empty glass on a nearby table and waited for you at the entrance.

you came out with flushed cheeks, hair that resembled cotton candy, and a body glazed with sweat, your steps stuttered when you saw him waiting but you didn’t say anything, he didn’t say anything. you both silently walked, you were scared of speaking and hoseok was scared of what more you could say to break his heart.

as you reached your door, hoseok got more and more impatient, with you, with himself, and the world in general.

he has waited hours, days, months, and years for you to look at him the way he looked at you but then you did, even if it was for a minute or two, and ran away before he could do anything about it.

“are you really going to not say anything?” hoseok’s voice stopped you from getting into your room.

“about what?” you breathe out, refusing to turn around and see him because you know that any restraint you have would break loose if you turned around. hoseok scoffed and for the first time ever, he felt angry with you, his heartbreak had morphed into a few ugly emotions that he could no longer contain.

you felt his anger, even many feet away, you felt it seep into your skin but you were hell-bent on protecting your current status with him and your own heart.

“nothing happened, hoseok. good night.” and just as you are about to slip into the comfort of your own room, “at least, look at me when you lie to me” hoseok’s voice was harsh, it sounded way harsher to you because it held the truth that you didn’t want to hear, at least not yet.

but you are just as stubborn, if not even more stubborn than hoseok.

so, you turned around and your knees buckled under you when you saw hoseok’s stony expression, you didn’t know that a single kiss could change someone like this, but behind all the anger, hoseok’s pain was just as noticeable.

you convinced yourself that he wasn’t in pain, that he was just confused about why you would kiss me.

“n-nothing happened, now i am tired, can i go sleep?” you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to look determined and strong but you sounded weak, your voice wasn’t as stubborn as you, it didn’t mind giving away your emotions.

with that, you pushed your door open and left it ajar, as hoseok followed you in with heavy steps, his boots thudding loudly in the otherwise dead silence of the room, the door hitting the wall as he roughly shoved himself inside your space.

he was tired of making himself small and fitting himself to whatever the situation required, he was done making space for others and not himself.

“you don’t think i’m tired? all i’ve been is tired since i’ve met you because you haven’t given me a break, you don’t think i’m tired of feeling like this, like you’re always just one centimeter away from me, like you’re always one step away from becoming mine, how you always take two steps forward with us and ten steps back? you don’t think i’m tired of holding my hopes to the sky, always just wishing that you’ll take me, that you’ll let me have you, that we’ll be something? you don’t think i’m tired of loving you when you don’t love me? do you have any idea how much i have loved you, and how much i will hate myself for loving you even after all this?” hoseok’s voice is loud and travels across the room in heavy waves that drown you, as he finally spills everything that’s been on his mind for months.

because it’s always been you.

and a glimmer of fear still crawled on him about what would happen now but he couldn’t deny how light he felt, he finally said it all.

you did the grave mistake of snatching yourself away from him after giving him you for those few minutes, and that was enough for hoseok to snap, to have you and lose you just like that broke him and he threw his pieces across the room such that they landed right at your feet.

you looked at him, shell-shocked and breathless as ever, the room felt too small for both of your hearts at that moment, yours racing in panic and his racing in anticipation and relief.

hoseok loved you.

you heard it, loud and clear.

why weren’t you saying anything back?

your entire body froze, suddenly no words would make it past your throat and hoseok waited, he waited for you to say something but when you continue to stare at the floor, he swallows and wishes he never said anything at all, he wishes he never saw you in that hot pink dress, he wishes he didn’t love you but there was nothing he could about it now, so he left but not without saying something that pulled you back to life.

“don’t say it was nothing because it was never nothing and we both know that.”

you watched him leave with parted lips and your eyes squeezed shut once the door shut behind him.

because it’s always been you.

you couldn’t deny that hoseok was right, it wasn’t nothing, if you could go back to one moment in your life, even if it changed things forever, you would back to those few minutes that you didn’t see hoseok as a friend but as a man, who you wanted and needed, you would back to that bliss of getting lost in him and him getting lost in you.

you suddenly sat up, realizing that if you didn’t like hoseok (what you’ve been convincing yourself to this whole time), you wouldn’t have kissed him, you wouldn’t have felt that urge to touch him wherever you could.

and you find how cruel you have been to him, how you have been giving him hope only to snatch it away, how you already stained him with all the pink your love had to offer and left him to deal with the stains himself.

hoseok couldn’t stand it, sitting in his room with his hands folded over his knees, it took everything in him to not rush to you and apologize and take back everything he did but he was stubborn for the first time ever, he couldn’t just ignore that you kissed him first, his ego screamed at him that it was you who started it, so you should be the one to end it and hoseok was also sick and tired of having to tip-toe around you and his own feelings.

he was done apologizing for things he didn’t do; he was done smiling and going with the flow, hoseok needed an answer from you and he was going to be hard as a nail about it, nothing could change his mind now.

hoseok was unaware of you heading his way, he jumped when he heard your knock on his door, his heart going back to beating so loudly and so quickly that he had to pat his chest to calm himself down.

he opens the door and his stomach tightens as he prepares himself for whatever you would hand over to him.

he was prepared for you to call it a mistake and request him to move on and be friends, he was prepared to be a friend again because hoseok needed you, in whichever form you would give him.

what he was not prepared for was you pushing into the room and plopping yourself down on the couch in his room with a scowl on your face, you didn’t say anything, just sat there stubbornly with words you weren’t sure you could say out loud.

hoseok noticed your heels, how they were digging into your skin and how you kept pressing into them, how your skin grew pink and blue with bruises, and with a sigh, he bent down in front of you, lifting your ankle and slowly removing the heels for you and every trail his fingers left on your skin, had you sitting straighter. his hand circled your ankle and he worked with the straps, taking his time to detach them.

your blood ran warmer than ever, your head felt dizzy and your lips pursed as you watched hoseok remove your heels, you were sure he could hear the thumping of your heart but you refused to say a word and if anyone understood how hard-headed you could be, it was him so he decided to try his luck one last time.

“i know how stubborn you are,” he said, with more fondness than he would’ve liked, “so i’m going to ask you this, for the final time, do you still think it’s nothing?” his voice was low and rough, laced with exhaustion and yearning. his hands stayed on your ankles, his fingers running circles, in hopes of making you feel what he did.

“if it was nothing, is it that hard for you to say it?” he continued.

“i can’t only look at you anymore, i need to do something, and i am not sure how that will end for us” his words stung like electricity coursing through your veins.

you wanted to kiss him again, you wanted to fall on top of him and let him have you, you wanted to give him everything he wanted. you still didn’t say anything but hoseok saw it, he saw how your face changed from resignation to curiosity, of what would happen if you gave him yourself.

hoseok felt stubborn too, so he pressed on, “i’m not going to move a muscle until you tell me what you are thinking of right now” you lunged forward, reaching to grab him but hoseok held your arms in place, he needed to hear it even if everything in him twitched to have you. “say it and i promise i will always be yours” his face scrunched as he urged you, begged you with his eyes as his fingers left your arms to cup your cheeks and you nuzzled into his palms.

“it wasn’t nothing.” you whispered like it was a secret between the two of you, like you were scared of telling him that secret.

because it’s always been you.

hoseok’s eyebrows raised in amusement at how reluctant you had been to admit to that one thing and he understood the fear you felt, of what could change between you two but now that he knew for you that you liked him too, his face broke into the largest grin as your face stayed unsure.

he leaned forward with a chuckle, fingers threading your hair back, and whispered to you, “goddamit pookie, you are making me do all the work here”, you smiled with him, your heart singing wildly, and said, “that’s how it’s going to be, will you be okay with that?”

though your words held humor, they also held all the questions you wanted to ask him.

will you stay with me when i’m being overbearing?

will you be okay with loving me because i’m deeply flawed?

will we be okay if we do this?

will you love me even if we are ever over because i don’t believe in a world in which you don’t love me?

“there’s not a single thing you could do, that i would not be okay with except kissing me and acting like it didn’t happen” you laughed loudly, partly in embarrassment and also in pure joy at how easy he made it seem. and he grinned at you.

“why?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“because it’s always been you, that my heart has betrayed me for.”

those five words, coming from hoseok, finally had meaning, they finally felt true and you have been hearing them forever but hoseok uttering them with oh so much love in his eyes, it fit the puzzle you had been trying to piece for so long now, perfectly.

a rush of relief went through you at his words, you felt reassured, you felt on top of the world and that you could conquer everything, loving hoseok and hearing that he loved you gave you that rash power.

and today, hoseok was the happiest man in the world.

“i do have something to say,” you clear your throat, finally you felt like you could say what you wanted, “maybe i’ve been ignoring it for too long, maybe you are right, maybe all of this really is not nothing but you need to know that i’m putting my heart on the line here and i’ve never done that before. so help me understand, what i feel, what you feel, i want to know it all now.” hoseok listened carefully and he could feel how much it was hurting you to love someone because it was still so new to you, his heart dipped as you voiced your request, he would give everything in him to make you understand.

“do you trust me?”

“yes” the answer is simple and quick, you would trust hoseok with your life.

“i promise to take good care of your heart, but you can do whatever you want to mine, i don’t care as long as you keep it while I keep yours” you smiled sheepishly at him, your face growing red at his careless but affectionate words.

hoseok meant it, you ruin him, destroy him, tear him apart, he didn’t care anymore, he was blinded by the veil of love you had thrown over his eyes and he never loved seeing nothing but you, more.

“i’m going to kiss you now,” your breath hitched and you stared at him with skin as hot as a furnace, “this time, you are not going to pretend like it didn’t happen, because this is happening and you won’t deny this anymore, you will never call it nothing anymore” he inched closer and closer with every word he spoke, his breath fanning over your face as you shuddered where you sat.

“i really hit a nerve by saying it was nothing, didn’t i?” you teased him and his head fell back in laughter. “i almost bust a nut pookie, never do that to me again” and before you knew it, hoseok’s lips melted into yours, your body lit up in urgency as you sat up, accommodating the way he moved his arms around you only to end up holding your face between his hands.

for everything hoseok wanted to do to you, he seemed to only want to cherish this minute that he had you, even if he was no longer afraid of you running away.

“it was everything i ever wanted” you spoke in between kisses, calling back to his earlier question that you had stayed silent for, now that you told him everything from your fear to love, you no longer wanted to stay quiet.

“good because i’ve waited too long for this” his arm finally gave into his greed and trailed on your hips where he held onto for dear life, as if your hips kept him from floating into the sky, he was desperate to prove to you that every fiber in him, every fiber that pieced him, craved for you, he was starved from being near you and doing nothing all these years.

your hands dipped into his shoulders, fingers fisting his shirt that you could no longer appreciate on him, you needed it on the floor.

and hoseok could always guess what you needed.

he refused to leave your lips as he slightly leaned back to hastily remove his shirt off his body and as soon as it was on the floor, he came rushing back in, his fingers now digging a little deeper into the apples of your cheek and your body burned from within, you felt as hot as you did the night you first heard those five words.

because it’s always been you.

you both had waited too long for this and somewhere in the middle of it all, hoseok’s hands enveloped yours and pressed it onto his chest where his heart bled freely.

“do you understand now?” he asked you.

“do you understand how i feel, do you understand how you feel?” he asked you again, he had no qualms of having to make you understand every day if he had to.

he had never looked more beautiful as he asked that, all stained with the pink of your love and eyes filled with determination to never make you doubt his or your love again.

and finally, you could tell him with confidence, “i do.”

— - - -✫ NASTY ✫- - - —

— pairing |  idol bf jk x y/n

— summary | teasing your boyfriend at a dinner party in front of all his friends isn't the smartest of ideas, but it got you exactly what you wanted.

—  warning | smut like real filthy, dirty talk, rough sex, oral (m/f receiving), unprotected sex (please fucking use a condom, i am no babysitter), choking, slapping, cum(?), verbal degradation, and spitting

— word count | 1.7K

— song | Nasty - Ariana Grande

You always loved sex with Jungkook, he was a pleaser and always made sure you came before he did. He was just... vanilla. He was always making love to you, which was great and you loved it, but sometimes you wish he'd fuck your brains out. The thought of him calling you a slut and fucking you until you couldn't walk for the next few days made you extremely horny.

You had talked to him about it before asking him to be a little rougher with you, but he never wants to hurt you or make you feel like he actually thinks horrible things about you. To him, you were the moon, sun, and the stars. So he choked you a little and smacked your ass every now and then but you wanted more. You also didn't want to push him to do things he wasn't comfortable doing, so you left it alone.

Jungkook finally comes back to Korea after shooting a music video in LA. He asks if you want to join him for Jimin's birthday dinner and you accept, you haven't been out with him in two whole weeks and you haven't touched him in three due to him being super busy a week before leaving so you needed him desperately to put it shortly.

You put on a short black Chanel dress and matching platform heels. "You look fucking amazing baby," Jungkook says coming up behind you in the mirror. He stands behind you watching you adjust your dress to your liking. You back up to him a little pressing your ass on his clothed manhood. He winced backing up a little, clearly trying to hold back. "Baby we're gonna be late if you keep trying this shit." He says lowly but seriously. You give him a cheeky smile. "I just missed you so much, Daddy." You turn to face him and fill the gap between you two. "I missed you more than you'll ever know baby, but we can't be late. Ill take care of you when we get back, I promise." He says pecking your lips softly.

You loved how warm he was, he smelled like heaven and it was truly getting harder to wait until you returned. You hummed. "Okay, let's go now." He chuckles at your newfound eagerness. He smiles as you take his hand dragging him to the foyer. You grab your coat, tossing it over your arm, Jungkook opens the door for you, and you smile at him. God, you love this man.

✫ -----------------------✫

Dinner was going well, Jungkook was telling the members about the shoot and how hot it was in LA. You watched him speak about work, he loved his job and you loved how passionate he was. He had been practicing so much before he left, you wouldn't wait to see how it turned out. Jimin was talking about the guitar lessons he was taking, and he listened nodding. Then a little cheeky thought popped into your head. You rub your hand up his thigh. He looks at you and smiles, rubbing your arm lovingly. He turned back to his friends invested in the ski trip story that Namjoon tells to everyone new he meets. You do it once more getting closer to his cock. He shoots you a look, and you smirk at him. He grabs your hand holding it in his. He leans over to you, "Watch it, baby." He kisses your cheek trying to play it off so none of his friends start to wonder. He just wasn't giving you the reaction you wanted. You needed to up the ante. Everyone was finishing up their food and talking and drinking. Jungkook was too caught up in conversation and a little bit tipsy, to realize your hand was back on his thigh. You inched closer and closer and stroke his clothed cock, causing him to choke on the beer he was drinking. Tables eyes dart to him asking him if he was okay. Jimin and Taehyung jokingly mention him having too much to drink. He looks at you pissed. He assured everyone he was okay and taking as his sign to go.

You both grab your coats, saying goodbye to everyone before Jungkook drags you out of the restaurant. "Really Y/n?" He says annoyed. "Fine, ill give you exactly what the fuck you want." He spoke his voice lower than usual. You were giddy, to say the least, quite pleased with your antics.

✫ -----------------------✫

You arrive home, the car ride is silent but quick and you can barely make it in the door before Jungkook grabs you kissing you. He backs you into the wall kissing your neck. He slips your dress up and his hand down your panties. "This is what you wanted huh? You want me to fuck you like the little slut you are? You couldn't even wait until we got home." He rubs circles against your clit and you already feel the knot in your stomach unravelling. "You embarrass me in front of my friends all because you want some dick? You want it so bad, don't you?" He kisses your lips stopping you from moaning loudly. He pulls his hand away and you groan at the loss of pleasure. "Open." He demands with his fingers at your lips. You obey sucking on his middle and ring fingers. "Look at you, licking yourself off my fingers. You"re so fucking nasty." He says watching you look up at him. "Fuck." He mutters under his breath. He picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He kisses you again tasting you on your tongue.

He sets you down gently never breaking the kiss. He was so obsessed with you and the whole stunt you pulled turned him on incredibly. "Do you even know how hard I was trying not to get a boner in the restaurant? I wanted to bend you over the table and fuck your right there." Jungkook wouldn't lie, he was sexually frustrated. You went from fucking every other day to not at all for three weeks. He could tear you apart, truly that is what you were hoping for.

"Fuck me please, Jungkook," You whined. Jungkook stood taking off his jeans and boxers letting his hard cock spring free. He strokes himself a few times before leaning back over you and kissing you again. He lifts your dress pulling it off and over your head. He unbuckles the buckle in the middle of your bra making your tits bounce at the release. You moan as he attaches his mouth to your nipple sucking it slowly, having his tongue dance around it.

"Shit, baby you're so fucking sexy." He kisses down your body stopping at the top of your panties. He yanks them down roughly and tosses them somewhere behind him. He uses one of his arms to flip you onto your stomach. He pushes your face into the mattress, your ass up in the air. He rubs his cock along you pussy making you shutter. He pushes inside you slowly. You moan into the cover. He groans, bottoming out inside you. "This pussy was made for me." He says before backing out and thrusting into you slowly. His pace is steady. You stutter struggling to speak. He quickens his pace. "Take my cock baby, isn't this what you wanted?" He hums, expecting an answer from you. When you don't respond he smacks your ass harshly, "What? My cock turned you dumb? I asked you a fucking question."

You moaned, praying your neighbor wouldn't complain tomorrow. "Y-yes, fuck- oh my god, Jungkook, please! You're so fucking big!" He grinned, slowing his strokes so he can fuck you deeper. "You can take right baby?" He licks the tip of his finger and rubs your clit. The pleasure you feel is insane. You've always wanted him to fuck you like this. You were so turned on you could come any second. "Yes, Kook. I-I can take it. Fuck! G-give it to me!" Once again his pace quickens and your release is closer than ever. He grabs you by your neck your back closer to him. "Fuck baby this pussy is so fucking good," He wraps his hand around your throat, his other one still rubbing your clit.

"J-Jung- Please I'm going to c-come! J-just like that, holy shit! Fuck me." He groans fucking into you. He's just as close as you are. "Come with me, come on my cock. I'm gonna fill you up, baby." Your vision goes blurry as you come. Your mouth falls open, he continues fucking you through your orgasm. "Fuck Y/n. Take it, take all my come." He groans emptying his hot load inside of you. He lets go of your neck and you fall back onto the bed. He slowly pulls out of you, watching his mess drip out of you. He slaps your ass once more before flopping beside you.

You lay flat turning your head toward him. He looks at your fucked out state before chuckling. You join him, still a little breathless. "You're so cute." He says. He pulls you on top of him your legs on the side of his waist as you lay your head on his chest. "I wasn't too rough was I?" He asks tucking your stray hairs behind your ear. You shake your head. "If pissing you off is all I had to do for you to fuck me like that I would've done it ages ago." He chuckles. "I just was afraid of hurting you. You're just so delicate." He says sweetly. "Jungkook, I like the rough shit, when you talk like that to me it turns me on so much. I can take it, I promise. I'll tell you when it's too much." You look up at him. He hums. "Okay, does that mean you're ready for round 2?" He asks cheekily. You sit up straddling him. "In the wise words of Megan Thee Stallion, imma ride that dick like a stolen car," You say with a smirk. He grips your hips as you grind against him. "Fuck I'm already hard again." Your pussy leaking come. "This is so fucking hot." He watches you rub your pussy along his cock.

You stand kneeling in front of him. He sits up on his elbows watching as you stroke his cock. His breath hitches when you take all of him in your mouth. "I want you to come on my face."

"You are so fucking nasty girl." He responds as you lick his tip. You knew you were in for a longggggg night.

✫ -----------------------✫

a/n: Heard this last night and knew I had to add Ariana to the master list. More to come ;) Feedback and Requests are appreciated. Much love pookies. <3 I haven't re-read it so please ignore the mistakes. I'll fix it before I sleep :)

the glow up | kth (4)

pairing: taehyung x reader

summary: after going off to college, you & your best friend committed to working out. a year later, the results show, and you cant wait for your hot hometown friends to see you. now all you wanna do is wild out and have lots of sex, and enjoy it without feeling insecure

genre: smut, childhoodfriends!au weightloss!au (is that a thing) friends-to-lovers!au

word count: 2.2k

warnings: tittie sucking, fingering (dubcon bc jungkook is an ass), misogyny/sexism, public sex (locker room), creampie, unprotected sex, slight slut shaming, body image issues (please remember that there is no ideal body type and every body is beautiful)

part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7                                                    masterlist

“Hey y/n” You were startled at his use of your name as opposed to his endearing princess. He was dressed nicely in a black hoodie with his glasses on, but his expression was tense.

“Tae” You acknowledge him as you got into the passenger seat. You really really liked his car now. “Listen, you don’t have to be sorry about anything”

“No, I really do though. I could have just shut up and let you and Jimin have your happy ending” He huffed, “We both know it’ll ultimately work out that way anyway, I just added drama and I’m sorry”

You wondered exactly when Taehyung got so mature, or if he had always been this way and you just never noticed.

“Anyways…I hope its okay, but I invited Hobi and Jungkook to lunch with us” Your face dropped slightly, and he noticed. You hated that he was being awkward. You wanted to feel all the amazing things you had the other day all over again. Taehyung was a drug. You had a hit and now you wanted more.

“Tae…” You whispered, grabbing his hand and bringing it to your chest. His jaw clenched as he made contact with your heaving breast. “Please” You made pleading eyes at him allowing him to squeeze your tit slowly.

“Hood of the car. Now” He exhaled sternly. You did ask requested, finding yourself in a similar position, back over the headlights, legs wide open, licking your lips in anticipation.

“Sit up” He ordered as he pulled you towards him so that he was standing in between your legs. He pulled down your shirt color until he had access to your clothed breast, moving your bra cup aside and allowing his mouth to trail kisses from your neck—“Mmm you smell good”—to your collar—finally kissing your nipple.

He looked up at you with lust shot eyes as he flicked his tongue across before enveloping it into his mouth. He sucked like a baby, moaning into you, the vibrations from his deep voice stimulating you even more. It was a sigh to behold, as he gripped your hips to hold you against him and sucked you.

You cried out, breathing heavily with the way his tongue was splashing around in circles causing waves of heat to come over you. You liked the ways his lips felt around your nipple, and the way his tongue drew circles around it-you took note. So I’m into this. Huh. You were very aware of how damp your underwear was getting, as yoou ran hyour hands through his hair, clenching as you tilted your head back and moaned.

“You’re fucking delicious princess” He remarked, breaking away finally to admire how he had made you swollen. He ran his thumb over his work, giving one last pinch, making you squirm before he fixed your clothing, “But…we’ll have time for this later. Let’s get going” His eyes had a playful glimmer as he winked at you, riled up and unsatisfied.

Fucking tease.

You arrived at a small urban cafe in the more happening part of town. Hobi and Jungkook were already at a table outside, with tall mimosas in front of them. Jungkook had on flashy sunglasses but lowered them as he saw you approaching, giving you a flirty look and smirking slightly as he watched you walk. Taehyung pulled a chair out for you and you took a seat by Jungkook after giving Hobi a quick back hug.

“Cute outfit y/n. I love the baggy look” Hobi commented. Your face reddened, realizing it was probably really obvious you were wearing Jimin’s clothes.

“She looks hot as fuck.” Jungkook thirsted, shamelessly glancing at your breasts were faintly imprinting against the fabric. He downed the last of his drink.

As you guys shared a meal, you enjoyed conversing openly with Hobi and Jungkook about their sex lives. You appreciated how open and candid they were as you continued to attempt to understand your own desires more.

“Y/n how does it feel to be part of that crowd now” Hobi asked. You tilted your head in confusion. “You know...now that you’re the sexiest girl in town I bet everyone’s been making moves.”

“Yeah I’ve definitely been getting a lot more attention from guys. Shows how fucking shallow half of them are”

“You girls are all hoes though so it doesn’t really matter. Why else would you try so hard to look sexy, yanno? Like I could be hooking up with the same girl and no one else but I still wouldn’t date her because she’s probably gonna dip for the next best dick she can get.” Jungkook added. Taehyung rolled his eyes and kicked him under the table “Hey, I’m just being honest. Why else would you go through a glow up phase? We all did it at some point, we were like yeah I wanna get laid so I better bulk up”

“No Jungkook that’s what you did” Hobi chuckled. “Hot girls aren’t all hoes, and hot guys aren’t just hot so they can get laid. I don’t agree with that. But I do think that everyone needs to fuck around a bit before they settle into a serious relationship or anything. I think it’s healthy when people go around for a bit and then finally are like, yeah okay I’ve seen what’s out there so I can say for certain what I want” Hobi commented, changing the topic. He delved into some details of a recent relationship of his but unfortunately his words did not register with you as you suddenly felt a hand slipping under the waistline of your sweats.

You knew it had to be Jungkook, Taehyung would never touch you without asking. You mouth formed an O as his hand traced along your aroused folds, still wet from Taehyung’s quick tit suck earlier. You gulped, straining to keep your mouth shut as Hobi continued on. You glanced at Taehyung who was observing you very carefully, clearly aware of what was likely going on.

Jungkook slid a finger into your cunt and it sucked it in welcomingly. You bit your lip as he slowly retracted it, allowing you to hear the faint squelching of your tender muscle. 

He repeated his motions, causing you to move forward until you were barely hanging on the edge of the chair. You gripped the table tightly, knuckles whitening with the pressure. You wouldn’t dare look at Jungkook, knowing that seeing his face would probably send you over the edge.

He pumped his fingers in and out and you couldn’t help but feel a strange mixture of dread and enjoyment. Yes you were horny, Taehyung had ensured that, so being fingered felt great. But a ball turned in your stomach at the unwanted intrusion from your friend. Were these guys really like this to all the “attractive” girls they hang out with? Do they just constantly flirt and grope them? Ugh.

Taehyung pursed his lips tightly before he finally snapped. “Fucking Christ, just go ahead and fuck right here why don’t you” He folded his arms over his chest, shooting both of you a disappointed glare.

Jungkook slowly pulled his finger out of you and put it straight into his mouth,  and you finally made eye contact with him as he licked your arousal off of himself. 

“Y/n we’re leaving. God Jungkook did you even get consent you prick?” Taehyung spat at him. You got up and Jungkook slapped your ass playfully.

“She’s one of the hot girls now, might as well treat her like one. Text me babe” He sent an air kiss your way and you shuddered slightly. Taehyung gently took your wrist and led you away.

It was later that evening. Your heart was pounding, and a slight sense of dizziness overcame you as you sped the treadmill up even faster. Taehyung had agreed to accompany you to the gym and you had been sprinting as fast as you could for almost half an hour trying to blow off steam from the events that had happened at lunch. 

Jungkook’s words stuck with you, and in a fucked up way you felt like he was trying to prove a point. You felt the air in your lungs escape as your chest tightened. You were overdoing it. You knew that, but you wanted to feel numb. Wanted to feel the bliss of the aftermath of a super intense workout.

Your mind wandered to the biggest issue on your plate. Jimin. You wanted more than anything to go to him. To tell him what happened and get his advice. But you messed that up, and now you were no longer sure if it was worth messing it up. You had never been so conflicted in your life. Your bones screamed at you that your pace was getting too much, pain shooting up to your knees as you pounded your feet with every step. 

Talk about running away from your problems.

“Y/n!” Taehyung came over from where he had been doing weights and turned off the treadmill, bringing you to a rapid halt. You panted, sweat soaking you head to toe. Taehyung grabbed your arm to help you stay standing as you began to sway side to side with lightheadedness. You could see black spots paint your vision. He wrapped his arm around you and helped you walk into the locker room where luckily there was no one.

“I don’t wanna feel it Tae…I don’t wanna feel anything. This is all too much. I am so fucking confused. I miss Jimin, and what Jungkook did today I…” You held back a sob, “He’s right. This is what I want isn’t it? So why do I hate it so much. All you guys do whatever you want to these girls you usually get with and sexualize them so much and I’m just not used to it but that’s what I wanted right?”

Taehyung sighed, stroking your back, “Look princess…Jungkook and I aren’t the greatest people. After getting to college, you know how it is, we kinda all became fuckboys. The people we hang out with literally breathe to get off. Everyone fucks everyone else. And I’m no saint at all. I fuck around even more than Jungkook does, albeit I’m a bit more respectful about it, but it’s all the same game to us. I understand that this is all new for you but…I just want you to know that for me, I’m not treating you any differently because of this weight loss thing. I promise. They way I fuck you, the way I treat you…I would have done it just the same a year ago.”

“You say that but”

“I’ve wanted to have sex with you for years okay. I knew you before all of this fucking hook-up culture. I wanted you because I liked you. I still like you, even though we rarely see each other anymore. Not just because of your body. It happened now because you initiated it. I don’t know how else to get it through your head. And by God, what the fuck were you just doing? Were you trying to make yourself pass out? Why would you run that fast?”

“I just needed to relieve some stress okay”

“Then let me help you” His voice was husky and low. Time slowed down as Taehyung carefully leaned closer to you. He trailed his fingers down your sides and around the waist of your shorts, tugging the fabric ever so subtly. He remained still, breathing heavily with a heartbeat drowning out everything. “You can say no. Any time. Even if you realize later that you don’t want to do this anymore you can stop me. I won’t ever get mad and I won’t ever judge you” His voice was quivering before he grabbed your waist and pressed himself up close to you. “Do you want this princess? Can I take care of you?”

You nodded your head as Taehyung leaned down and kissed you while gently pushing you back against the lockers. He quickly pulled off your tanktop, not minding the sweat as he inhaled sharply. He lifted you so you could wrap your legs around him and began to slowly rock his body against yours.

He moaned into you mouth as he felt the impact of your bodies colliding. He spread your legs out wider and began to grind against you faster. You held back screams as he grabbed your breasts. Taehyung licked his lips and kissed you harshly, biting down your lips before mumbling “You’re so fucking hot princess”

“Taehyung” You finally moaned, giving him all the motivation he needed to grind faster. He slipped his hands under your sports bra and began to caress you. You cursed in pleasure.

Suddenly the two of you heard footsteps coming into the locker room. Taehyung allowed you to slide down as he quickly backed away. He took your hand and led you to a far corner of the room before sitting on the locker room bench and pulling your body down on his lap. You looked at him with concern, but Taehyung ignored it completely.

“Tae...you make me feel so fucking good”

“Yeah?” He grinned

“Aren’t we going to get caught?”

“I don’t care” He quickly tugged down your shorts as well as his own revealing his thick cock, with precum budding furiously at the tip, aching to be released. He helped you lower yourself onto him before he gripped your hips and began bouncing you up and down his length.

“Scream my name” He demanded, whispering darkly into your ear “you’re doing so good”

You whimpered, “Taehyung” you cried out as you felt yourself peaking, “Taehyung oh my god don’t stop,” You begged. He was shaking you so violently that you finally were pushed over the edge. 

You screamed his name louder than you meant to, feeling Taehyung smile against your neck. He let you get up off of him while he fixed his shorts. He was still aroused, but he didn’t mind. He just wanted you to feel good.

“Is everything okay we heard screaming?” One of the gym staff members walked in just as you had managed to get decent.

“Yes sir, everything is fine! She just saw a spider, poor thing” Taehyung pulled you back into him so you could feel his still hard cock against your asscheek  as the staff member nodded and left.

You waited until the footsteps seemed more far off. You turned around and couldn’t suppress your big smile as you made eye contact with Taehyung, who also grinned widely. He grabbed your waist and began to undress you again quickly.

“Hey that’s not fair. I wanna see your shirt off too” You pouted. Taehyung smirked, obeying you and pulling it off effortlessly. You traced the muscles on his chest that formed a perfect 11.

“Like what you see?”

“Jimin has a six pack soooo” You teased as you tugged on his waistline, helping him slide off his shorts again. Your eyes scanned him as he became naked and you licked your lips, “Yeah…” You met his eyes and giggled, “I like what I see”

“Yeah you better” He teased before attacking you with kisses again.

Taehyung slid back inside of your tight pussy while maintaining eye contact with you. He began sucking your neck playfully. He watched you carefully as he began to move in and out of you slowly, picking up the pace as he saw your positive reaction. Taehyung nuzzled his face into your breasts. 

“You’ve been waiting for this all day haven’t you” You teased.

“Yeah and what if I have” His voice was raspy, full of lust. The sound send chills down your spine and turned you on more. Taehyung could tell. “Oh you like that huh?” He continued to talk in that voice, grinning as he trailed kisses back up to your mouth.

Taehyung shifted you so your back was on the bench. He spread your legs and entered you slowly. You tilted your head back and just took it all in. After some pumping Taehyung lowered himself closer to your body and looked at you deeply.

“You close?” You asked him sincerely. Taehyung nodded, moaning slightly into your shoulder. You were unsure what to do to help him at that point, your orgasm earlier leaving you too spent for another one. So you decided to just tease him. “What was it that they say in pornos...oh right. You’re doing so good baby” You felt Taehyung’s hips buckle at your words, “Will you please cum for me? God you’re sooooo hot mmm, just like that” You played your most seductive voice and Taehyung knew you were messing around but it still turned him on. 

He kissed you chastely, hands grabbing your ass tightly as he came. He cursed under his breath & eventually fell into your lap in exhaustion.

<------previous                                                                   next-------->

A/N: im tired man idk

taglist: (lmk if you wanna be added!!) @honeyspillings @hollowtree10

death valley (m) | part 4

summary: welcome to death valley. once you’re in, there’s no telling whether you’ll make it out alive. a summer internship turns wild with blurry nights of dangerous men, dirty money, and extremely hot sex. you soon get caught in a savage game of greed, power and obsession, only to find out that you are the grand prize

pairing: ot7 x f.reader smut ft: jungkook x reader, namjoon x reader, yoongi x reader (ABOUT DAMN TIME)

genre: smut. yandere. mystery. thriller. gang!au rockstar!au fightclub!au

wordcount: 8k

warnings: reader discretion is very much advised. multiple & explicit smut scenes, rough sex, yandere behaviors, sex while intoxicated, oral sex (f and m), machoism/pain kink, manipulation, fighting, blood, masterbation, you’ll either fall in love with this yoongi or hate his guts there’s no in between, breath play, branding, choking, borderline abusive behavior, voyeurism, reader is a MESS, HEAVY DRUG USE, character injuries

a/n: im sorry for this lol, had to balance out the yoongi fluff. we’re getting into the more yandere/edgy side of this story so, be careful and dont read if it makes you uncomfortable 

part 0 | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | finale (lite) | finale (dark) part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | series navi | masterlist |

Taehyung had been at the hospital all night, catering to Jimin’s every need. As in, making sure his enemies stayed the fuck away from him while he was down, and ensuring that business went about smoothly. He had a knack for these things after all, and he really did love his work. Even if it did seem immoral, Taehyung felt that there was nothing wrong with what he did. People had needs, he had a product to fulfill them. Maybe some people got hurt along the way but every business was like that.

He knew you would be coming at some point, and he was excited to see you. You had looked incredible last night, the image burned into his mind. But you wouldn’t be coming to see him, no, you would be coming for Jimin.

Jimin had told Taehyung that he was going to try to be better to you. Deep down he didn’t think Jimin was capable of that, but as he returned to the hospital room, seeing you looking so worried had him thinking otherwise. He had advised Jimin on the roses and candles thinking that you would hate it. 

You were on the phone when he arrived, standing in the corner and whispering away. Standing on the other side of the room was a man who Taehyung was familiar with, but he knew that the same was not true the other way around. “You must be Hoseok” He reached a hand out and Hobi shook it politely, “I am a friend of Jimin’s. He speaks very highly of your work. My name is Taehyung.”

Hobi smiled, always loving compliments. “Hi, nice to meet you too. It’s so terrible what happened to him” Hobi tried to pull his hand away but Taehyung tightened his grip, causing his face to drop into a confused frown. He then released him, giggling slightly. 

“Honestly it was bound to happen at some point” Taehyung chuckled. “But you know, the police are saying it probably wasn’t an accident. It was intentional” He grinned widely and looked dead into Hobi’s eyes. 

Hobi blinked back at him, “That’s terrible, why would anyone...” Taehyung burst into a fit of laughter, causing Hobi to shift uncomfortably. 

“I’m just kidding” Taehyung pat his back playfully. You ended your call, coming to meet the two boys. You hugged Taehyung tightly, burying your face into his chest, unable to see the way Hobi’s eyes flashed with irritation. 

“How is he?” You asked, looking up at him. Taehyung simply shrugged, quickly glancing down to check his watch.

“Not great. Doctor’s say he will live, in fact he should be conscious by the end of the day, but they still have to run tests to see if he got any brain damage. Obviously he can afford the best care out there so I’m not too worried about it”

You nodded, glancing back at Jimin one last time, “Well, I better head home. Call me if you need anything?” You squeezed Taehyung’s arm affectionately as he nodded.

“You too. Don’t worry too much” You smiled at him, waving awkwardly to Hobi as you left. You wondered what you would spend the day doing. You figured you could just spend the day with Jungkook and Namjoon, they knew the area better than you did. You unlocked your door and stepped in. Your blood ran cold.

Everything was ruined. The place was an absolute mess--television shattered, chairs thrown around, as if a hurricane had flown through. Your breathing quickened as you looked around frantically.

“Jungkook?” You had made it home too late last night to check on him, and even this morning you weren’t entirely certain you had seen him. You assumed he was still asleep. But now the boy was no where to be seen. Did he do this?

You stepped into your apartment, careful with your footwork, not wanting to step on the scraps of broken furniture that scattered across your floor. A crumbled sheet of paper was on the remnants of your kitchen counter.

Moved out. Sorry. Be safe. - JK

The paper dropped from your hand as you were too shocked and confused to even comprehend his words. Where do I go? You fumbled in your purse for your phone, scrolling to your contacts. Jin. Jin. Jin. You dialed his number, only to get him at voicemail. Fuck okay. Then who? You quickly left your apartment, taking care to really lock the door.

You were embarrassed to say the least as you found yourself yet again at Yoongi’s doorstep. That’s what you get for letting a shady drug dealer stay with you. Yoongi opened the door, looking not so much surprised as expectant. 

“You have the day off Y/n” He said in place of a greeting.

“No I know, and I don’t mean to bother you on your day off...” Yoongi waved away your concerns, allowing you to step inside. He shut the door, locking it with a click, so soft you thought you may have imagined it. You continued to explain, “My place got robbed. I sorta had a roommate and I guess he moved out...and now the place is trashed” Yoongi raised his eyebrows.

“Always something interesting happening to you” He almost laughed. You nodded sheepishly, “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, I don’t really have any plans for the day.” You thanked him eagerly, following him into his kitchen. “Do you think it was your roommate? Who trashed your apartment?” You were surprised at his interest. You assumed he would have just ignored you after letting you in. 

“I guess it could be. I don’t think he is a bad person but I guess a lot of evidence is pointing otherwise.” Yoongi nodded, seemingly deep in thought. “I’ll let the police know, hopefully they will figure it out.” You noticed the soft tapping of his fingers on the counter, fingers that were now much closer to your own than they were a second ago. You met his eyes briefly before focusing back on the way you fingers slightly stretched out, seeking his touch. He pulled his hand away quickly.

“Would you like to do something?” He asked, speaking confidently but nerves evident in the way his voiced wavered “I was going to just play around in my home studio all day but if there’s something else..” You shook your head.

“If it’s okay with you, that sounds great”

Maybe the universe had decided to take pity on you. About damn time. Yoongi welcomed you into his private studio--he had two in his home, but the other was locked up. He said he just kept old instruments in there now.

He brought out his guitar and began strumming along. You sat by his side, watching in awe as his fingers effortlessly played out beautiful progressions. “I heard you used to be Jimin’s fan” Yoongi stated. You blushed.

“Oh yeah. I was obsessed. Would go to every single one of his shows, hung out with his band and staff. I was a total groupie. He’s met me he just doesn’t remember it” You sighed ironically, “I mean why would he”

“You’re hard to forget” Yoongi stated, bringing an even deeper flush to your face. His words were flirtatious, but his voice steady. He played a few more chords, “I’ve known Jimin for a very...very long time. I’m surprised he’s so interested in you. You’re not really his usual type” He squints at you, “Really makes me wonder why. Who are you Y/n?” He sets his guitar aside, handing it to you. “You try”

It had been a while since you played guitar. You recalled learning a few things back in the day when you would wait backstage of Jimin’s performances. You nervously began to strum, watching as Yoongi nodded in approval. He knelt down next to you, wrapping his hand around yours, on the neck of the instrument. His fingers matched yours, guiding them into different positions, while his other hand remained on the small of your back. “There you go. Perfect” He glanced at your face, brows furrowed in focus “Just perfect”

He shifted, taking a seat behind as he wrapped his other arm around you, over yours landing on the strings. With his chin on your shoulder, he guided your hands into playing fun upbeat riff. You giggled as he got into a rhythm, letting him puppet your fingers beneath his. He smelled like heaven--clean like sheets of fresh linen. The heat of his body radiated through you, and you felt your heart beat faster and faster. Yoongi was humming softly to himself along with the music. 

His hands came to a still, and the whole world seemed to freeze around you. All you could hear was the numbing pounds of your own heart. Your voice in your head begging it to quiet down. He didn’t move. You didn’t move.

“Y/n” His lips were so incredibly close to your neck it had you shivering. You let out a gasp, wanting to reel it back as soon as it left you because Yoongi then moved away from you instantly. 

You didn’t even wanna know how flustered you must have looked, but Yoongi seemed unfazed. 

You had made plans to meet Jin later that afternoon, informing Yoongi that you would return in a few hours. He kindly offered to drive you where you needed to go and you agreed. 

After all, how could you refuse such a sweet guy.

-

Jin’s knee bounced rapidly as he waited for you in the parking lot of a nearby strip mall. He wondered if the man from earlier may have kidnapped you or something, he shuddered recalling the words we’ll deliver her right to you.

He saw a glimpse of your face, smiling as you chatted with the man driving you. Jin’s entire body froze with fear. It’s him. He met the man’s eyes briefly as you stepped out of the car. The man smirked at him, bringing a finger to his lips, before then making a finger gun and pointing it at you, reminding Jin what was at stake. He slightly nodded his head as you entered his passenger seat, and the man drove away, satisfied. 

You turned as much as you could to face him. You noticed the lack of color in his face right away. “Who was that?” His voice was weak. You scrunched your eyebrows.

“Are you for real? You’re chasing down Jimin and you don’t know Yoongi? They’re pretty close...he’s his producer. He’s my boss too. My place got robbed and I have to stay with him for a bit. I tried calling you but you didn’t answer”

“Uh yeah...sorry about that” Jin cleared his throat, “Anyways, I looked into what you told me so far. I wanted to go over some details with you” You nodded, “You’re saying that it is possible that Jung Hoseok kidnapped you and Namjoon. Can I know where or who was the source of the pills you took that evening?”

Your eyes widened. You hadn’t even thought of that, “Oh...Namjoon brought them but Jungkook gave them to him”

Jin stroked his chin in thought, “Right. I figured. And do you know where Jimin was when all this happened?” You shook your head again.

“What about Kim Taehyung? He’s his friend, and a gangster. He found cameras in my apartment that apparently Jungkook put in my place” 

Jin paused for a moment, “Wow... You’re in deep. Do you think it was possible that Jungkook kidnapped you guys?”

“No, he’s the one who found them”

“So he says” Jin shrugged, pulling out his phone to type in some notes.

“I really doubt it was Jungkook. He’s Namjoon’s friend”

“Friends don’t drug friends, putting them in near death situations” Jin stated blandly. You felt squeamish. “Plus he randomly moved in with you? That’s suspicious. And Jungkook also wasn’t at Jimin’s little soiree when the accident happened?” You nodded, “Who was there?”

“Taehyung...and Yoongi” Jin raised his eyebrows.

“Yoongi was at the party? Really? Huh” He bit his lip, “But Yoongi drives a black cadillac? And so does Namjoon?”

“Namjoon also hates Jimin, he thinks Jimin made him lose and I think he might also be jealous of him. Jimin has never seemed to care much about Namjoon either way though” You mentioned, “But whoever kidnapped us didn’t like Namjoon because they beat him up pretty bad”

“Does anyone have a reason not to like Namjoon?” You laughed at the question.

“I mean I don’t think so, but” You gulped, “Hobi might have...been jealous. Or or or!” A thought came to you, “He’s in the Death Valley gang right? Maybe they were like punishing him for not beating you?”

Jin considered your idea. “And does anyone have a reason not to like Jimin...besides Namjoon?” You shook your head.

“Maybe Hobi again, if he was jealous but he didn’t know that I..” You trailed off.

“That you were sleeping with Jimin?” Jin grinned, before setting his phone down and letting out a deep sigh. “Wow well...this is a lot to work with. While Jimin is out of commission, I think it would be wise to go after Jungkook. The lower workers of gangs often have a lot of contacts and information. Tell me Y/n,” He placed a hand on your knee, “Would you be willing to do something for me?”

It was a simple request. Jin needed you to find out a location. The place where he suspected that the King as he began to refer to him as, might be found. The place the drugs were being made and distributed. You were to manipulate Jungkook and have him take you there, and then tell Jin where the action was taking place.

You had no idea where Jungkook was though, so you called Namjoon. Namjoon texted you an address, and Jin dropped you there. It was a ways out from the city, which made you a bit nervous. You arrived at what seemed to be a mansion. "Take this” Jin handed you a small bug, “To record him in case. Call if you need me okay. I’ll make sure you’re always safe, I promise” You nodded, thanking him before heading into the house.

You rang the doorbell, feeling greatly underdressed for a place of this grandeur, in nothing but a graphic tee you borrowed from Yoongi and your shorts. Jungkook answered, freezing upon seeing you--eyes wide. He’s still so fucking cute. Even if he probably is really dangerous.

“You shouldn’t be here” Jungkook stammered, diverting his eyes from yours. He twiddled his fingers as you scoffed.

“What the hell happened to my apartment? Why did you move out?” Jungkook sighed, stepping back so you could walk inside. The house was insane--a modern crystal chandelier adorned the ceiling between two long sets of stairs. The walls were a cool grey. “Do you live here?” He nodded.

“Yeah uh...job pays well” He gave your a sheepish smile. You gaped at him, as he led you to one of many sitting rooms. “You look good” You took a seat in front of him.

Do whatever you need to do. I’ll keep you safe. Jin’s words came back to you. How can I get him to take me there? “Look, I don’t care what you did...how could you leave me without saying goodbye?” You blinked at him innocently. “I really like you, and I liked living with you. I trusted you”

“I didn’t want to baby” He bent down to kiss your knees, hand stroking your legs. “Of course I didn’t want to leave. I had to, to protect Namjoon. They were gonna kill him if I didn’t leave you alone. Y/n I’m...not someone you should be around. I’m a bad guy. I do bad things.” 

“Let me decide that for myself. Show me who you really are. I’m not afraid of you” Total lie. You were scared shitless. But as the boy’s wavering eyes looked up at you, you pitied him. It must be lonely doing what he does. All this money, but no one to share it with. Dangerous...but still human.

And so you convinced him. Using your charms and exploiting the fact that a guy like him was young at lonely at heart. You didn’t feel great about it, but you knew it had to be done. To your surprise, he brought you to Death Valley.

The bar was closed--it was far too early. But Jungkook went around to the back. You followed him as he lead you through an entrance. It didn’t go into the main place, but instead you found yourself at an elevator. He held your hand tightly as he pressed in a keycode to activate the elevator. 

“This is where the magic happens” He speaks confidently, and you can tell he feels comfortable in this place. The doors slide open to reveal a clandestine drug lab. There were beakers, pressure canisters, all sorts of machinery lined up along the walls. In the back you could see a garden of what you assumed was weed. It was a fairly large space, you assumed it was the whole basement of Death Valley. 

“Wow” Jungkook bent down to shuffle through some things until he pulled out a duffel bag, unzipping it to reveal stacks of cash. You had never seen so much money in your life.

“This isn’t even a dent of what we get” He says, taking a wad and handing it to you, “Smell it. It’s fun” You took the money, flipping through it and inhaling the scent of richness. For a moment you wondered what would happen if you just kept it, but you knew Jungkook could easily destroy you if he needed to. Best not to play around. You handed the money back.

You paced around the lab, looking at things with great interest. “Hey Y/n” You turned to see Jungkook holding up a small ziplock with what looked like syringes. “You wanna? On the house” He winked shyly.

“Sure”

You followed Jungkook back to his car, sliding into the backseat so that he could administer the drugs to you properly. This is the same guy who almost killed your friend. What the fuck are you doing right now? Your mind was already in shambles. Whether it was the guilt of manipulating Jungkook, the stress of being in the situation you were in, or the strong desire you had to just go wild and forget about your idol being unconscious and your home being trashed.

You watched as Jungkook injected the liquid into your forearm, kissing the skin after tossing the syringe aside. He proceeded to inject himself and you felt comforted that he was accompanying you. “Don’t worry. This isn’t too strong” 

He was probably talking to you but you felt a wave of serenity take over you making the world around you go quiet. Lost in thought, you began to smile. In a way, you felt elated. Your life was amazing. What were you worried about? Looking at the attractive man who was smiling like a puppy, so eager to please you, you couldn’t remember why you had been so stressed out. 

You wanted to give him everything. He deserved everything. “Jungkook” You mumbled, throwing your body onto his and pushing him back. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. You inhaled him, he was sweating slightly, likely nervous while showing you the lab. You shut your eyes and allowed yourself to simply feel the way his chest was rising and falling underneath yours. He began to fondle your ass. 

“You know. I thought living with you would mean I would get to fuck you more often” Jungkook smiled widely. You sat up. Your sex life had felt so dramatic lately, you frowned thinking back to Jimin’s little show. That wasn’t you--you wanted to have fun. You wanted to go insane. Jungkook was perfect--Jungkook was everything. You could fuck him over and over again any way you wanted. Why did you ever doubt that?

"Fuck me. Fuck me hard” You pleaded, rolling your hips into him slightly. Jungkook’s eyes flashed.

“Yeah?” He sat up, pushing you off of him, “Get fucking naked and bend over you slut” You melted at the word. Excitement soared through you as the two of you stripped down to nothing, Jungkook not missing a beat to harshly grab your breasts as you got into position.

“I want it hard. Really hard.” You begged. Jungkook nodded. “Slap me, pull my hair, use me, I don’t care I just need it. Now” Your whining was turning him on. He had never seen you like this. 

“Anything you want baby” He smacked your ass, watching the skin jiggle before he made his way behind you, bent over your frame as you gripped the edge of the carseat. His head brushed against the top of the car--it was far from comfortable. He slid his hands under your arms and pinched your nipples tightly, then proceeded to slide his hands up to your neck. “Is this okay?”

“Shut up” You snapped, “You’re a bad guy aren’t you Kook? Show me. Be bad. Destroy me please” He trembled slightly. You feel him stroke his cock, his hand brushing up against the bottom of your stomach as he pressed his lips onto the back of your shoulder. He pulled your hair, causing you to groan in pleasure. The pain. The pain was so good.

What were you doing? Did you miss Jimin? You were guilty. He was in the hospital because of you wasn’t he. Thoughts ran rampant in your mind as Jungkook guided his cock inside of you. 

“So...fucking” He pushed deep into you, “Tight...fuck” He exhaled heavily, hugging himself onto your back.

“Fuck me Jungkook. Fuck me like a toy” Jungkook’s eyes rolled back as he pulled out of you, thrusting back with full force. The car creaked at the pressure.

“Just like that, please...please” You begged desperately, prompting Jungkook to piston in and out of you like he never had before. He clawed at your shoulders, digging his nails into you as you screamed out his name.

“You’re so fucking hot holy shit” He whined, eyes glued to the way his cock sunk into you. He smacked your ass, “Such a fucking slut” 

“Yes I wanna be a slut. I wanna be your slut” You cried out, burying your head into the seat. He slapped you again before gripping your hips and pulling you back onto him. Your head kept hitting the seat over and over again. “More...MORE” You growled. Jungkook tried to go faster but he physically couldn’t. He didn’t want to rush. He wanted to enjoy this. But you were losing your mind. You wanted to pass out. You wanted to disappear. 

Jungkook nipped at your ear, “God I missed your pussy, so fucking good for me, takes me so fucking well” He was close, but he wanted you to come. He reached his hand down to your clit and began to rub you rapidly.

You tilted your head back in pleasure as the feeling of his large fingers on your clit drove you into a frenzy. Seeing you so fucked out turned him on even more, and he came quickly, shamelessly, deep inside you. You  tumbled down, but Jungkook continued to touch you, soon throwing your legs over his shoulders and pushing his tongue deep inside you.

You closed your thighs onto his head, pulling his hair as you continued to scream. “God yes...fuck...fuck” You looked out the window briefly. Your eyes landed on a car that had parked next to the two of you. 

You squinted as Jungkook continued to eat you out, soon recognizing Jin’s handsome face. He watched intently, his eyes shot with lust. You moaned, not breaking eye contact with Jin for a second as Jungkook lapped away at your juices.

“I’m...I’m” You bit your lip and your hips jerked forward. You squirted all over Jungkook’s face, screaming at the top of your lungs. Jungkook caught you in an embrace as you fell back with exhaustion, almost falling off the seats.

Jungkook stroked you affectionately, kissing you softly and mumbling apologies to your body for his roughness. You heard a tap on the window. Jungkook jumped as he saw Jin, covering you immediately. He rolled down the window.

“If you guys are finished, I can drop her home” He smiled charmingly. You laughed. Everything slowed. Somehow Jin and Jungkook had gotten you back into your clothes and into his car. Somehow Jin had put up with you--a mess of laughing fits as he returned to your apartment. Somehow you found your way back home. 

-

You giggled, tumbling into the hallway before you pulled your way to Yoongi’s door. You had no idea what time it must have been, but hopefully he was asleep. You fumbled with the lock, unable to correctly insert the key with how your eyes were rendered useless. You tripped over your own feet, falling with a soft thud onto the carpeted hall. 

The door opened, and you looked up, squinting to see Yoongi. You expected that he would look annoyed, but no--this man looked furious. Nevertheless he took a deep breath and crouched down to you, taking your hands in his own.

“Come on” He urged as he carefully helped you stand. You shifted your weight, throwing your arms over his shoulders as you latched on for dear life. Yoongi’s touch was tender, not at all manhandling you. He led you to the kitchen and helped you onto a stool before turning the facet on to get you some water. He handed you a glass but you simply blinked, mind numb but seriously wondering how exactly Yoongi had managed to turn upside down. 

He sighed and pushed the glass to your lips, softly pulling your head back to allow you to drink the cool liquid. You drank a few sips before choking, Yoongi stopped, wiping your mouth with the bottom of his shirt. Unlucky for you that you missed a glimpse at his abs. Your head landed on his shoulder as you looked up at him, your eyes wide with confusion and fascination.

“Yoooooooongi” You drew out the vowel, attempting to be cute when you looked anything but. “You” You tapped his chest as he raised his eyebrows at you “Youuuu are Yooooongi.” You burst into a fit of giggles, almost falling back before you feel Yoongi’s chest against your back, preventing you from tipping over. He grips your shoulders softly.

“Yes, I am Yoongi” He speaks to you straightforwardly, as if you were perfectly sane and make a perfectly sane statement. He steadied your balance before going over the his refrigerator. The cold air washed over him as he scanned for something to feed you and help you through the state you were in. 

Yoongi wasn’t the best at taking care of himself--besides the Red Bulls and various types of fruits in his possession, he didn’t have much else to offer you. He sighed before slamming the fridge shut and moving instead to search his cabinets. His eyes zero in on a pack of ramen noodles. 

He quickly begins to boil some water, preparing the quick dish for you as you began to mumble incoherently. “Yooooooongi. You are Yoooongi. Mr. Min Yooooongi” 

Yoongi hummed his agreement in response, as he dropped in the noodle pack and spices, stirring the pot. He turned back to face you as the meal cooked, leaning forward against the counter. You smiled lazily at him.

“You’re hot” You puckered your lips at him and blew him air kisses “I wanna kiss you Mr. Min Yoongi MWAH”

The edge of his lips curved into a smirk, he looked from your eyes down your body and back up, shaking his head in amusement. He turned back around to stir the noodles. They looked about done. He grabbed a bowl and poured them out, taking a pair of chopsticks and stirring the soupy dish around. He came to your side, lifting up some noodle with the chopsticks and blowing at it furiously, trying to lessen the heat so he could get the food into you as quickly as possible. 

“Open up” He brought the bowl to your face to feed you. Your lips parted, allowing him to push the steaming noodles in. You slurped as he retracted his hand, getting ready with another bite. This went on, and he slowly fed you not minding how sloppily you took the food.

“That’s yummy” You remarked. Yoongi set down the bowl before bringing his hand to your face. He wiped off the stains that had formed all over the edges of your lips with his thumb, letting his finger roll over the plump skin before pushing his finger into your mouth. Your tongue wrapped around his thumb. You looked at him with large eyes as he attempted to remove his finger only for you to grab his wrist and keep him where he was. 

Yoongi gulped as you took hold of his hand and continued to suck his thumb, mimicking a certain obscenity that had his eyes darkening. He trembled slightly.

“Y/n” His voice was reprimanding, and you released his thumb reluctantly, your lips smacking as he drew away from you. He stared down at his hand, thumb covered in your saliva. He chuckled slightly before looking back at you, running the side of his thumb over his lips, wiping you off of his own tongue.

You didn’t realize you had moaned at the gesture, but Yoongi definitely had. He moved in closer to you, standing between your legs and gliding his fingers oh so softly over your tingling skin. You felt shy suddenly, looking away.

Yoongi just watched you, smiling to himself as you unraveled in blushes under his gaze. You felt overwhelmed. How could he do this all simply by looking at you?

He didn’t dare step any closer, but continued to run his fingers up and down your skin, leaving a burning trail wherever they touched. You squirmed, grabbing his hands and pressing them to lie flat against your thighs. Yoongi gave you an innocently confused look.

“You’re teasing me” You pouted. Yoongi shook his head.

“I’m not doing anything my love” He pulled his hands back, “Not yet” He reached into a drawer and pulled out a bottle of pills, emptying one into his hand. He took the pill and slid it into your mouth, you gulped it down.

“Good girl. That’ll help you get some sleep” Yoongi stroked your hair, “Come on, you can sleep on my bed tonight” You nodded excitedly. Yoongi turned, motioning for you to hop onto his back, which you were more than eager to do. His hands cupped the underside of your thighs as he lifted you off the stool and towards his room, dropping you off carefully on his bed.

“Let’s get you changed” He muttered, “Can you change by yourself love?” He dropped to his knees in front of you. You attempted to sit up, shaking your head. He took a deep breath, letting his eyes close and gathering himself before he then reached to unbutton your shorts.

He tried to look away as he pulled them off your body, you legs rising to help him. He tossed them aside as you laid back down on the mattress.

“Wait” Yoongi pursed his lips, as you let your eyes flutter close. He straddled you carefully, making sure not to touch you any more than he had to. He stared at your chest, wondering how to take off the black tank top you had on. Wondering if you even were wearing anything under it because he had a feeling you weren’t. 

He let his fingers slide under the thin straps, tugging them down as they revealed the tops of your breasts. He gulped, furrowing his brows. “Come on it’s nothing you haven’t already seen” He mumbled softly to himself before yanking the straps down completely to your wrists, you breasts popping out of their constraints. 

He could feel his pants tightening as he wrestled the top off of you. He jumped off of you quickly, clutching his rapidly beating heart and panting heavily. “Fuck” He glanced back at you, now topless in nothing but your panties.

His whole body was shaking, trying to convince himself to stop looking but you were too angelic. Your body seemed to call his name. He bit down on his lip, clenching his fists and digging his nails in. In a burst of self control he quickly pulled his own shirt off and pulled it over your unsuspecting head. Finally you were covered.

Yoongi’s cock was throbbing, the image of your body so clear in his mind. He let out a shaky breath. He dropped back down to his knees, looking at the way your legs were ever so slightly spread still. He leaned his face in closer, closing his eyes as his nose brushed against the insides of your thighs, not daring to get too close. 

He inhaled sharply, reaching his hand down to slide down his pajamas, his cock popping out, eager and ready. He gulped as he began stroking himself, careful to not move too much, careful to keep his eyes closed. He wouldn’t want to take advantage of you, not like this. As his hand began pumping himself furiously, he couldn’t help the painful cries that left his trembling lips. 

He pulled his face away, opening his eyes to look at your blissfully sleeping state. “Fuck” He spit into his hand quickly before continuing to glide his firm grip over his cock.

His mind was in shambles. This is wrong. Stop it. Yoongi scolded himself. Your kind sleeping eyes seemed to coo him in comfort. It’s okay. She’s fine.

No. This is wrong. Yoongi screamed internally. But she wants me. She said that didn’t she? She’s barely conscious you fucking sicko. 

Yoongi let out a loud whine before quickly running into the bathroom, trying to save your decency and his own, but finding release quickly in the privacy of his own space. 

Maybe you were even now. He just did that, and you had pissed him off by coming home high out of your mind, and so late. Yeah. Yeah that’s fair. 

He returned to tuck you into the covers before he himself slid into the bed next to you. He turned off the lights, rolling over to find some rest of his own. It’s entirely possible that he was conscious as he pressed up against you, carefully pulling you into a soft embrace. How could he know? It was impossible to see after all. 

The next morning you knew you were in for it, as you waddled into the kitchen, still sore from last nights...endeavors. Yoongi seemed to be wiping something off of his kitchen knife. He set down the utensil and gave you a stern look.

“I--” You began but Yoongi set his hand up. “Where the hell were you last night?” His voice frightened you. He was pissed, jaw clenched as he made his way over to you, “Answer me right now!” He growled. “Who were you with huh? Were you at Death Valley?” You didn’t answer, too astounded by his fuming rage. He grabbed your shoulders and gripped them firmly, shaking you.

“Yoongi you’re hurting me” You squeaked out, only causing him to tighten his grip. “Fuck you, I don’t have to tell you anything! You’re not my boyfriend. You don’t own me.” You laughed darkly. Yoongi pushed you back against the wall, caging your head between his forearms. He was so so close to you, you felt his whole body against yours.

Your eyes shifted from his lips back to him, crossing pathways with his gaze to see his eyelids flutter. His lips parted ever so slightly, and you clenched your hand into a fist, waiting. He leans in, and so do you. You could almost taste him. Your knees went weak, and you felt a surge of heat within you. Please.

He hesitated, and you felt like he was about to pull away. You quickly grabbed his collar and slid your lips onto his, kissing him softly. You melted into him. He tasted as sweet as you had hoped, if not sweeter. Your hands trembled as you felt yourself getting lost in the feeling of him. Something...something so beautiful flew through your veins. You wanted to feel everything he had to give you, and you wanted him to feel everything you had to give him too. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced. 

Yoongi backed away with a start, leaving you panting heavily. You searched his eyes for a reaction, heart dropping when you saw none. Until he cupped your chin and brought his lips back on you. He deepened the kiss, hands traveling down your sides. He pressed his hips into you as your arms wrapped around his neck, clenching his hair. 

He took a deep breath, looking at you with hooded eyes. “Turn around” And you obeyed. He tore your clothes off harshly, not caring as the fabric would yank against you. Once you were naked, you heard him shuffle around. It sounded like he was grabbing something.

Suddenly you felt something incredibly hot against your neck. Yoongi pushed your hair away and your eyes widened as you realized what he was doing. He slowly traced something and you screamed. He was branding you. 

He blew at your neck, attempting to ease the burn as he continued to slowly carve letters on the back of your neck. You didn’t stop him. You didn’t want to stop him. You sobbed at the pain, but you felt yourself getting wetter by the second, craving him more and more. 

“Yoongi” You cried, hearing him shush you. Finally the burn stopped, leaving only the searing after pain of the letters burned into your skin. He appeared to rub some sort of cream over, providing some cooling relief. You groaned, the numbness feeling so good after the scorching heat. He brought his lips over the scar. 

“Look at me” He grabbed your jaw and turned you back towards him. He too was now undressed. You saw that he had set a lighter and a branding iron on his table. He grasped your neck, “I love you”

Your vision went hazy but you nodded, unsure if you had actually heard him say it or if you were imagining things. He took your breast into his mouth, biting harshly as you yelped out. He loved hearing you cry, it drove him wild. He continued to suckle you as he smacked your throbbing pussy.

“Fuck” You winced as he began to bite down and bruise your breasts. The pain overwhelmed you, you almost felt limp, but Yoongi held you up. You sank into him, exhausted already but Yoongi was just getting started. 

Was this a dream? He helped you down onto the floor, laying you on your back. He climbed over your practically lifeless body, trailing kisses up until he found your lips again.

“Yoongi” You sighed blissfully as he sucked on your lips. He moved to kissing your neck, biting down as you squirm. He traced a finger against you cunt and without warning he shoved it in. “Yoongi!” You screamed at his force. He was absolutely ruthless. He pumped his fingers quickly, adding another. You shut your eyes, focusing on the sound of your soaked walls. “It hurts. Yoongi it hurts” You choked, tears building in your eyes. 

“I know baby. But you hurt me too. It’s only fair” He kissed you tenderly, “I love you so much. Next time it won’t hurt so much I promise” You were convinced that you were either asleep or hallucinating. 

“Fuck me” You gasped as he dug his fingers deep inside you, “Just fuck me please” He let out a heavy sigh, removing his fingers from inside you before shoving them in your mouth. 

“Not yet my love. Soon. But not yet” You coughed, unable to breathe. Yoongi removed his hand, covering his lips with yours one last time before slapping you clean across the face. You were out like a light. It’s a dream. It has to be.

-

The fight was today. It was all Namjoon could talk about at work. He asked you to come early to be with him while he warmed up, and you agreed, hoping that you would be able to keep an eye on him and make sure nothing sketchy was going on in the process. 

During your lunch break, Jin picked you up and drove you somewhere hidden so you could update him on things. 

“So death valley is the heart of all this huh?” He chuckled, “Listen, I didn’t tell you this earlier but...someone threatened me, and I have to throw the fight otherwise they’re gonna kill you.”

“Jin--” You started. You didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of you.

“Not even a question, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I swear. I’ll lose, and then I’m gonna sneak down to the lab and see if I can find him. I’m assuming he will be collecting and storing the money he will win.”

“A...are you sure? Namjoon could really hurt you. He really wants to” You stated, chuckling bitterly. Jin squeezed your hand.

“This is my job. My fight. Literally. Just trust me, you’re gonna be safe”

You arrived to the arena early. It was empty, aside from a few staff members who appeared to be cleaning the place up. You made your way to the back doors, feeling a sense of dread as you walked along the familiar hallways that brought you into this mess in the first place.

“Namjoon?” You knew he was around there somewhere. You could hear the sound of a punching bag somewhere, following it until you arrived at a room. Namjoon was warming up, headphones over his ears blasting music. You smiled inwardly as you recognized the song. You walked in, causing Namjoon to finally notice your presence. He slide off his headphones, wiping his forehead off with the towel around his neck.

“Hey” He made his way to you, giving you a quick embrace. He was covered in sweat, you could tell he had been practicing for a while. “Thanks for coming. Being around you eases my nerves”

“Of course. You’re gonna do great okay”

Namjoon shook his head, “Y/n, this is it. If it win this fight I’m gonna be set. I can quit this for good. I can leave the gang I can go back and focus on my music again. I will. I promise you this.” You smiled fondly at his excitement, “But if I lose...I can’t...I can’t lose” You touched his arm.

“Namjoon. Look at me. You’re gonna do great okay, I believe in you” Namjoon grabbed your face and pulled you into a kiss, you almost screamed out in surprise. “Joon what the fuck?” He didn’t relent, holding you firmly against him as he kissed you long and hard. You could hear him whine softly through his kisses. He’s just nervous. I should help him out. You let your hand find the waistline of his shorts, tugging them down so you could palm his cock.

“Y/n...fuck” He groaned as you brought out his cock and began stroking it slowly, looking him in the eye. You left a trail of kisses down his chest, and he watched as you playfully licked his nipples a few times before lowering onto your knees.

“Poor baby” You mumbled as your lips covered his yearning tip. “My big strong little boy” Namjoon’s knees wobbled, “Let me help you baby” You ran your tongue across his cock.

Namjoon was impatient. He put his hands into your hair and pushed himself down your throat. You gagged as he cried out in pleasure. He clenched your scalp harshly, nails digging into you. Pain soared as he pulled your head back and forth forcefully. You let him do it. He was stressed after all. 

“Your mouth feels so good” He cursed out as he began to rapidly thrust into you. You could barely breathe, saliva and his girth blocking your lungs. You could feel his cock twitch. It hurt...but seeing the bliss on his face made it worth it as he came quickly, shooting his hot load down your throat before releasing his grip on you. The movement was so sudden, your head fell back, neck straining with pain. You gasped for air, coughing everywhere. Your eyes were blurred with tears from pain. Namjoon didn’t notice, as he dressed himself back up and returned to warming up. You sat on the floor dazed.

You heard the door creak behind you, and turning to see it come to a close. Was someone watching? You laid back, feeling the cold concrete against your back, sighing deeply. You had a horrible...horrible feeling about this fight.

You found a seat in the arena after Namjoon left, ready to watch and support your friend. “Hey” Taehyung, as expected, climbed into the seat besides you, waving slightly, “Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head, “How is Jimin?”

Taehyung sighed and shrugged, “He’s awake now. Still waiting on test results but I took him back home. He’s resting. You should go see him when you can” You nodded, admiring the man next to you for how well he cared for his friend despite everything. 

The lights dimmed, focus landing on the ring in front of you. 

Namjoon came out, looking fierce and energized. You shouted proudly, cheering him on. Jin came out on the other side. You glanced at Taehyung who was simply watching carefully. 

The second the ref began the match, Namjoon pounced on Jin. He quickly dodged him. They went on, back and forth. The crowd was wilding. Namjoon landed a blow on Jin, sending him flying back. He quickly got back up, ducking under Namjoon to push him down.

Your heart was racing, unsure of who you should really be hoping walks out a winner. You wanted Namjoon to win so he would just stop. But seeing Jin get hurt wasn’t a pleasant thought either, especially since your life almost depended on him. 

“Yeah?” Taehyung answered a call, motioning to you that he would be right back. You continued to watch the fight, Namjoon grunted as he pummeled Jin with punches. Blood tricked from Jin’s lip, but he wiped it off.

Your stomach went queasy as you saw the expression on his face. You knew Jin was planning to lose, but in that moment you saw nothing but sheer fury in his eyes. He looked ready to kill. 

As if the universe heard your thoughts, Jin planted a fierce uppercut, sending Namjoon flying onto the ground. 

Your ears deafened as the cheers of the crowd faded against your pounding heart as Namjoon lay, knocked out completely. Blood leaked from his head. You looked around but Taehyung was nowhere to be seen.

Jin was declared the winner, but Namjoon didn’t stir. You felt faint. You tried to catch Jin’s attention, confused out of your mind at what you had just seen. 

“Y/n” You turned to see that Taehyung had returned. He also looked worried and simultaneously pissed. “Let’s go. Now” He grabbed your wrist and yanked you towards the exit, almost running as he pushed aside the crowd. 

“What’s going on? What are you doing?” You snapped at Taehyung as he practically threw you into a car. Another. Black. Cadillac?

“Shut up” He growled, “Or I’ll fucking make you” He hopped in the drivers seat and stepped on the gas.

“Wait! Where are you taking me? What about Namjoon? I have to see if he’s okay!” Taehyung ignored you, eyes glued to the road. “Taehyung stop the fucking car!” You shouted. 

“Relax...you’re gonna be just fine” A voice came from the backseat, and you whirled around. 

“My love”

ᐊ——[ previous ] series navi | masterlist | [ next ]——ᐅ

a/n: ooOOO. yoongi is a bad bad boy, but is he the bad bad boy??? ;) why did jin actually win the fight? was yoongi the one who threatened jin? (ok yes but why! he said he loves her!) the biggest prank--who hurt jimin! it couldnt have been tae or yoongi sooo

im like,,,trying to be subtle with the way i phrase things to give hints but idk if it actually comes across or if im just losing my mind. lmk lol

as always thanks for reading, have a great day and HAPPY BUTTER WEEK im sooo ready for this comeback. next update will be in a while, but its gonna be a sexxxxyyyy one:) (with less pain kink and like...literal abuse lol sorry about that uh...yeah) smut pairs up on the masterlist, stay tuneddd :))))

taglist: @imluckybitches @gee-nee @missseoulite @hcneybees @kooookie @queenmasterxx @crustycaitlin @virgo-and-libra @un2-verse @winter-melontea @equivocacies​ @infernal-alpaca @shrimpmsg @meowmeowyoongles @rjsmochii @liltangerined @littlrmills14-blog @issysor @arandomblackgirl @adoringinsanity @giadalin @jeontier @kaithezaftig @jinssexytoe @nonnis97@minyoongiboongi @happygirl62304 @just-me-and-myselfs @purplepebbles @channiespup

death valley (m) | part 6

summary: welcome to death valley. once you’re in, there’s no telling whether you’ll make it out alive. a summer internship turns wild with blurry nights of dangerous men, dirty money, and extremely hot sex. you soon get caught in a savage game of greed, power and obsession, only to find out that you are the grand prize

pairing: ot7 x f.reader smut ft: jimin x reader, jin x reader

genre: smut. yandere. mystery. thriller. gang!au rockstar!au fightclub!au

wordcount: 5.6k

warnings: reader discretion advised. multiple & explicit smut scenes, rough sex, obsessive & possessive themes, kidnapping, physical roughness (pushing, hitting, etc...not abusive but like sexy hate sex type thing), EDGING, poor jimin, use of restraints, brief gun use/play, cursing, degradation, jimin is a BRAT, crying, robbing/stealing/fraud, so much lying, character injuries, dubcon/coersive sex, kinda somnophilia, knife play kinda, woohooooo

part 0 | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | finale (lite) | finale (dark) part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | series navi | masterlist |

F L A S H B A C K—

Jungkook’s vision was a blur of the sickly golden lights that landed on the dark concrete of Death Valley’s parking lot. He tasted a metallic tinge in the air as he wobbled back to his car, leaning back against it with a satisfied grin. He sighed, you always felt incredible. There was no high quite like you. His mind wandered back to your body, glossed in sweat and eyes fierce with passion. He wanted you to destroy him.

He giggled, almost tripping over himself. He felt a hand hold his shoulder steady. “Ohhh thanks man” He wasn’t even sure if he actually spoke before he suddenly felt a sharp sting of pain in his stomach. He winced, breaking into a fit of coughs. 

Opening his eyes, he looked down to see a knife piercing through his gut. The blade twisted, sending an addition spurt of pain through his whole body as he limply fell forward onto his attacker. The knife dug deeper into his flesh as he got pushed back harshly, and it was only then he was able to squint to identify his assailant. The man barely regarded him, withdrawing the knife before chuckling softly and turning away, leaving him to slide down to the ground, ready to die. 

As a drug dealer, Jungkook was used to knowing too much information for his own good. And it was a great place to be, because whenever the gangs began to have power struggles within themselves, he would always walk away even richer. 

Jungkook knew bits and pieces of enough to paint the whole picture, and now he uncovered the missing piece to finish it all off.

The kingpin of Death Valley had remain anonymous for as long as anyone could remember. Gang members simply went by orders, not questioning where a majority of the profits were going or to whom. After a while, the drug money begins to pile up, and the thrill of the hustle fades. It was around this time he began the fights. 

Sure, the kingpin was a powerful man. But being a low level dealer and knowing who the kingpin was, that was even more powerful. Enemies and allies alike were desperate to know, and were willing to do just about anything for that information. Jungkook liked to think this alone made him far more powerful than any gang leader. 

Now he had seen his face. He was almost certain. He shivered at the prospect of what all he could do knowing what he now did.

So it was you all along, you clever bastard. 

P R E S E N T   D A Y—

Taehyung chuckled, running a hand through his dark hair "Trust me you don’t wanna know the answer to that. It’ll get you” He mimicked a knife with his finger drawing a line across his throat.

Seeing you unamused expression he sighed, “Fine. Look, I told you someone powerful has their eyes on you. Well powerful people never do their own dirty work. I’ve had to keep an eye on you, for a damn long time. Trust me, I don’t feel great about it either” He continued, “Now, Jimin can’t know where you were last night, okay? He can’t know Yoongi is involved, because the truth is” He held his wrist up to show his watch, “I’m a mole”

“A mole?”

“I’m fronting as Jimin’s right hand guy. I have been for a while, but in reality, Jungkook, Namjoon, Hobi and I, we’re all Death Valley boys. They don’t know that though”

Jin was right after all. “So Yoongi really is...a gangster? He’s the one behind everything? He’s the one...who wants me?” Taehyung hesitated, thinking deeply before nodding.

“He’s kept his identity hidden for years. Only I know. Yoongi...is obsessed with you. He loves you, and has for so long. You’re the bane of his existence, and by extension, mine.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re lying.” You pursed your lips in annoyance, “Yoongi didn’t give a fuck about me when I first moved here. He was just a sweet, ordinary guy. He took care of me. He has always had my best interests at heart. Maybe I believe you. That he really is this scary gang guy or whatever. But the rest of it, bullshit”

“Don’t you work for his company? Don’t you live in his building? Do you really think anything you’ve been through is a coincidence?” 

Taehyung shrugged, reaching for his trousers and wrapping his hand loosely around his pistol before tracing your cheek with it. “You don’t have to believe me. But not a word of any of this to anyone” 

He cocked the gun, the soft click resonating through the quiet room, "Because I’m everywhere baby. I’ll know if you fuck up, and I’ll kill you so fast you won’t even have time to blink.” 

He pulled the trigger, making you shut your eyes and yelp. It was a blank. Taehyung laughed maniacally, “I just need you to play along just a little while longer and this will all be over. Now go freshen up, I’m taking you to see Jimin”

Jungkook was clearly stalling. Jimin wanted to shoot him in the mouth just so he would shut up and get to the point.

Jimin felt his phone vibrate, seeing Taehyung’s text. He sighed with relief. “You got lucky this time dumbfucks. I got her. Tell your little kingpin cockhead that he’s already fucking dead, because when I get my hands on the bastard who threatened Y/n, I promise you that I will kill them. In the worst, most painful way possible.” The door creaked open.

“Oh my God” Your heart sank the second you saw them. Blood was leaking through the white bedsheets, and they were both badly bruised. Jungkook was shirtless with a bandage wrapped around his stomach while Namjoon was in a neck brace. You rushed to Namjoon’s side, grabbing his hand and pressing your lips against them. 

You hadn’t noticed Jimin at first, as you tended to Namjoon. He wanted to hug you. To make sure you weren’t hurt. To cry in your arms because he missed you so damn much. You weren’t even noticing him? Did he really mean so little to you? You hadn’t seen him since the accident, did you not even care? 

He hated how much power you had over him. You didn’t care but he spent hours thinking about you. You were a disease he couldn’t shake. You were sand slipping through his fingers the tighter he tried to hold on. He watched you carefully until his eyes caught the etched out letters burned into your back. His whole body froze. 

Jimin’s breaths began to quicken as anger overwhelmed him. He grabbed the nearest item to him, which happened to be the glass of water on Jungkook’s dresser and threw it on the ground in frustration. The loud shatter finally caught your attention, and you turned to meet his glossy eyes.

“Jimin! Thank goodness you’re okay” You gave him a smile, sighing with relief. His mind was running a mile a minute as he tried his very best not to break down in front of you. 

“Outside” He growled. “Right now”

You hesitated, not understanding why he looked so upset to see you. Namjoon tugged at you slightly and gave you a warning look. 

“Did you fucking hear me? I said right now.” Jimin screamed, to which you heard Taehyung stifle an ironic giggle. Getting impatient, not wasting another second before grabbing your wrist, yanking you out of the room and kicking the door shut loudly.

“Hey--ouch” You winced at his rough grip, “Easy Jimin that hurts”

Once you were in the hall, Jimin grabbed your jaw and pulled you towards him, digging his nails into you and tilting your face up to his. He stared deep into your eyes.

"What the hell is on your back?” He sneered. 

Your mouth went dry. Should’ve worn a fucking turtleneck. Recalling Taehyung’s warning from earlier, you debated internally what to say next.

“You fucking whore” He cried out, shaking your body, “Did you sleep with him?”

You blinked back tears, recalling the immense guilt you had been feeling the past few days. You thought you missed Jimin, but seeing him now in reality made you remember all the reasons you had wanted nothing to do with him.

Jimin growled at your silence. He kicked at your shins, prompting you to lose your balance as he held you up. “I asked you a fucking question! I know you don’t care about me but at least have the decency to--”

Smack. You slapped him clean across the face. You were tired of his tantrums. He had no idea the hell you’d been through. He had the audacity to think that you didn’t care? He was the one who treated you like a pet.

Jimin released his grip you, backing away to cover the reddening skin of his cheek as he blinked in amusement. 

“Fucking brat” You hissed. 

You had begun to turn away when Jimin grabbed your forearm and pulled you flush against him, capturing your lips in a fiery kiss. His grip was brutal as he encircled your wrist before twisting your arm onto your back and pushing you against the wall. 

His teeth grazed against the back of your ear, chuckling softly. “The fuck did you just say to me?” He sounded more teasing than upset. Through the corner of your eye you see a mischievous twinkle in his eye. You yelp as he continued to twist your wrist as he chuckles softly. “Go on. Fight back”

You struggle, squirming against his hold. Kicking your leg back into his knee, you know you’re walking right into his trap as you turn yourself around.

His hands quickly grasp your waist and he lifts you up. He presses his forehead against yours, looking deep into you eyes. His lips were parted, panting heavily and breathing you in. A moment of silence passes before a naughty grin appears on his face. 

He intertwines his fingers with yours, propping you up on his thigh as he holds your hands above your head. You moan breathlessly at the friction, tightening your hold on his hands. He licks his thick lips, bringing them closer and closer to yours. 

His eyes don’t leave you for a second as he begins to nip at your neck, sucking harshly into your skin and leaving marks wherever he could. You groan, tilting your head to give him more room. 

Your body feels ablaze through the touch of his lips. Your heart is racing as you gaze stays steady on one another. “Jimin” You moan his name like you’re pleading for your life, “Let’s find a room” 

He halts his movements, letting you carefully slide onto your feet. He snakes his hands behind you as clenches your ass “Lead the way baby” You grinned. It was about damn time. 

You pulled him into the nearest room you could find, which seemed to be some sort of office. Within seconds he was all over you again, sharply kissing your neck and shoulders as he kicked the door shut with his heel. 

He cupped your face, his lips sloppily running up to meet yours as your tongues intertwined. 

“Wait Y/n I...” Jimin mumbled, “I’m sorry. I got upset for no reason I just...it hurts.”

“Shut up” You snapped, pointing towards a small cushioned chair that was near a window. “Sit down over there. Hands where I can fucking see them” 

Jimin took a seat without hesitation, watching intently as you grabbed the curtains on either side of the window. You climbed onto his lap, his face finding home against your chest as you bent over him and tied his wrists together tightly. You felt his tongue over your clothes as he attempted to suck your breasts, but you tugged his hair back sharply.

“Oh hell no” You smirked, taking in Jimin’s roughed up appearance. Having him under you like this, you felt invincible. "You’re such a spoilt brat, you know that Park Jimin? I was worried. I thought about you constantly, when really, I shouldn’t even bother” You settled back into his lap, bringing your face inches from his “You’re. A. Dick” You gave him a chaste kiss before unbuttoning his jeans.

Jimin let out a shaky moan as you harshly pulled them down. You licked your lips as your hand grabbed his hardening length. You began to pump him slowly.

“Ohhh fuckkk” Jimin tilted his head back, tugging desperately against the restraints. Your hands felt so good, you gripped him just right, and your hands were so incredibly soft. He bucked his hips as he felt you spit onto his tip, rubbing the wetness in with your thumb.

You wrapped your tongue around his base, hands cupping his balls as you licked a stripe up his cock. You let your tongue swirl and linger at his tip, watching as he fell apart into a fit of whimpers. Hollowing your cheeks, you took him deep into your throat, just the way you knew he liked it.

Jimin watched you bobbing your head and sucking him off for everything he’s worth. Your gaze was intense, he felt utterly powerless. The craziest part was that he loved it. He had never done anything like it before, used to girls spreading their legs for him without the blink of an eye. 

He wants to kiss you so bad as you rose from his cock, saliva stringing from your pretty lips. He could have looked at you like that all day, just perfect. Delectable. You reach behind your back to unzip your top, letting your breasts break free. Jimin’s breath hitches as you slide your tits over his wet cock. “You like that?” You teased, “So fucking desperate. You’re pathetic”

“Holy shit Y/n” You hesitated as he moaned your name. “M...more. I’m so close. Fuck I wanna touch you” He whined in complaint. 

“You wanna cum all over my tits hmm?” The sound of your teasing voice was ecstasy to his ears. He nodded furiously, his whiny moans filling the room. You grinned, watching him edge closer and closer to release, only for you to stand up and leave him a writhing mess.

“Y/n” He growled, kicking the air and stomping like a child, “Are you kidding me?” His cock was absolutely flushed, making you giggle at the thought of how the even the smallest thing could just make him cream all over.

“You don’t deserve to cum” You shed your own jeans quickly, letting your fingers trail up and down your body sensually. Jimin gulped as you put on a show, clenching your own breasts. 

You straddle onto the armrests, making sure Jimin can’t thrust his dick up to touch you as you bring a finger to your mouth, wrapping your tongue around it before plunging it into your sopping pussy. Jimin eyes become absolutely blasted with lust. He frantically looks from your face to the way you were fingering yourself so close to him. The soft squelching seemed to harmonize with the way you teasingly let soft moans slip from your lips.

Jimin held his breath, trying his best not to cum at the mere sight of you. His hands continued tugging frantically against the curtains. He had never been so turned on in his life, sober or otherwise. 

“I wanna touch you. I need to feel you, fuck baby please. I’m not even fucking kidding baby please sit on my cock” He whined softly, giving you puppy eyes to which you scoffed.

Scooping up some of your dripping arousal, you shoved your finger into Jimin’s mouth, watching amusedly as he sucked every last drop of you. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. You were driving him insane. Your eyes widened as you heard a loud tearing sound. Jimin quickly broke through his restraints, his hands immediately clenching your sides.

“Oh baby you’re in for it now” His voice gave you goosebumps as you excitedly anticipated his next move. He stood up, lifting you back into his arms before harshly tossing you onto the wooden desk. Your head hit the back harshly, pain sizzling through you as he propped one of your legs up over his shoulder, while pushing the other one as wide as he could. His cock was rock hard as it rubbed against your inner thigh. 

He trails kisses up your chest and onto your lips, nails digging into his tight hold on your thighs. You watch as he aims his cock at your gaping entrance, slick and quivering in anticipation. He pushes into you, slower than you expected. His lips sucking on yours. 

For all the times you had fucked Jimin, he had never felt this good inside you. He stilled as he bottomed out, gasping loudly. A part of you didn’t want him to move. You didn’t want him to cum, ending this and forcing you to return to the daunting reality you had to face. You grabbed onto him tightly, not ready to let go. Jimin notices this and his heart swells.

“Hey” He leans down to kiss you deeply, pouring his affection into you. His hands release your legs, instead tangling in your hair and tugging it back as he begins thrusting into you with short, deep movements. 

“Jimin” You cry out. He smacks your ass with a low growl, “D...daddy, fuck you feel so good” You cup his face as he continues pistoning in and out of you. You feel his cock twitching inside of you, knowing he would cum in mere seconds. 

If this was nirvana, he believed it. Jimin’s eyes rolled back as he let out a strangled moan, “Oh my god...oh my fucking...baby...feels so” He chokes as cum shoots out into you and cries out your name, burying his face into your neck. You stroke his back as his body twitches, steams of cum continuing to spurt out. 

He steadies his breathing before pulling out and examining your stuffed cunt. He glides his finger over your creamy folds. “Turn around” He growls, “I’m not done with you” You sighed with relief, cunt stinging desperately for a little bit more.

As you flip onto your stomach, Jimin playfully smacks up your ass cheeks. He bends over, whispering filth into your ears as he shoves in two fingers. “You’re so fucking hot baby...Mmm you want daddy to make you cum huh?”

His fingers were unforgiving, you cried out as your pussy clamped down on them, spilling all over. “That’s right...only daddy can touch you like this.” He smacks you again, and you can feel him grin “Such a little slut for me aren’t you hm? Go ahead and cum like the slut you are” Your eyes fluttered shut as you came over his fingers. He pumped you through your high, cooing and teasing you relentlessly with kisses on your back.

With a heavy sigh you rest on the desk. Jimin shuffles around the room, grabbing the torn curtain and wiping you up. He kissed the small of your back as he tenderly caresses your ass, easing the red marks he had made just minutes ago. 

“I’m sorry” He whispers as you sit up to face him, “I know you know about the gangs and stuff. You got caught up in it because of me, and I’m sorry for that” He kisses the tops of your hands, “Let me keep you safe. Please. If something happened to you because of me, I would...” His voice trembled, emotions suffocating his words. He didn’t even want to think about it. 

You wanted to laugh, simply because Jimin was hardly to blame for anything you had been through. And there he was apologizing for it. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay”

“Let me take you back to work” He offered sweetly. You swallowed uncomfortably. He doesn’t know. Anything. “Come on. I know exactly how I’m gonna get back at Yoongi”

You coughed. This is bad. Where the fuck is Taehyung now? You looked around frantically. “Uh...okay”

You had no idea what Yoongi’s reaction would be. He could get upset. You were supposed to be locked up in his place. But on top of that if Jimin was the one with you...

He wouldn’t kill him. 

Would he?

-

Taehyung had left shortly after he heard a good amount of moaning through the thin walls. Admittedly, he hadn’t expected to see Jungkook bedridden like that, but he immediately knew who must have been behind it.

Things had been happening that he hadn’t predicted, and it made him furious. When he heard that you had been kidnapped with Namjoon, he had decided that this had all gone too far. For whatever he was, he hated hurting innocent people. He didn’t like that you were involved in this, that people were hurting you.

Maybe he had just grown fond of you over the years. He always told himself Yoongi was strange for being so into you. You were attractive without a doubt, but the dedication Yoongi had to you always shocked him. Yoongi could have anyone he wanted at his feet, he was rich, powerful and good looking. But he never indulged in the luxuries that the rest of them did. Pictures he had taken of you through your cracked bedroom window back in your hometown were enough to satisfy him.

Yoongi had said he had something he needed to prove before he could pursue you. Taehyung hadn’t cared to ask what exactly that was at the time, but since meeting you, he wished he knew. 

Taehyung arrived in the back lot of Death Valley and flipped open his phone, “Load the money in the car”. He reached for his mask, pulling it over his face before he stepped out. 

Hobi arrived promptly carrying two large duffel bags followed by a few other men doing the same. “How much?” Taehyung asked.

“Felt like only 100k, but Jungkook said it was a pretty good week for sales so it might be more” Hobi lifted the bag into the trunk of the Cadillac. He wiped sweat off of his forehead, allowing the trunk to close and patting it shut. “Fucking Jin guy ruined everything, otherwise we would’ve got millions.”

“Yeah” Taehyung rolled his tongue inside his cheek, “I wonder why he didn’t lose” 

After Hobi left, Taehyung dialed the bank. “Hi, I’d like to make a wire transfer?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out Jimin’s black card, turning it over to read out the number “Yes, there would have been a deposit recently of around half a million? Could you please transfer that to an overseas account belonging to V Kim. Yes, just the letter. Thank you so much!”

In truth, Taehyung was grateful to you. You were the perfect distraction. Both Jimin and Yoongi were wrapped around your fingers, too caught up with you to notice anything else. That made you powerful, so much more than you realized. Taehyung tossed the card into the passenger seat, it slid down onto the floor of the car. 

“Fucking idiots”

-

Yoongi fiddled with a tangerine in his palm as he sat, bored out of his mind in his office. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see you, get you out of that horrible cell he had put you in. His work was getting in the way of your relationship and he hated it. 

The sounds of cameras and vehicles slipped through the dark walls. He cocked his head in irritation. The noises kept growing louder and louder. He was used to the press being around, especially when there was an album being released by one of his artists. But this was much more than the usual.

For that number of paparazzi to be around, it had to mean one thing. Scandal. “What the fuck is going on?” Fruit in hand, Yoongi stormed out of his office into the lobby.

Juice began trickling down his wrist as he saw what all the commotion was about. Jimin strutted in confidently, hand thrown around your waist, holding you to him. 

“Yoongi!” Jimin taunted, arriving with a wide grin. He met your eyes and could sense that you were afraid. Jimin looked Yoongi dead in the eye as he knelt down to kiss the back of your neck, over your scars. “I know you have a no dating rule but I was driving her to work and the media caught us. It’s trending on twitter” Jimin shrugged, “Oops” 

Yoongi began to see red. His blood was boiling. Nevertheless, he took a deep breath. He knew he had to be careful how he acted around you. He wouldn’t want you to be afraid of him, after all he was just trying to protect you. He wanted to make you happy. You didn’t actually want Jimin, did you? No way. 

Pursing his lips, he maintained an expressionless face as he walked up to you. He could see the way your eyes quivered as he neared. He hoped you’d understand. You would understand, he would make you understand. 

“You’re fired”

His heart ached as he watched your expression drop. Yoongi simply shrugged and returned to his office, tossing his fruit in the trash on the way. Yoongi knew you’d be upset. You’d blame Jimin and come crawling to him in no time, he wasn’t even worried.

He made his way back into his reclining chair, kicking his feet onto the desk as he stared down his door.

Three. Two...

The door burst open. “Yoongi” Your voice was weak. “Don’t...please don’t fire me. I know I crossed a line. We’re...not dating. I swear”

“How did you get out?” You knew Yoongi would ask this, and luckily you had some time to conjure an answer that probably wouldn’t get anyone shot.

“Taehyung let me go to my apartment to shower and change. Jimin happened to show up at my place while I was there” You looked at him steadily, trying hard to not even think about the fact you were so blatantly lying to the man you felt like could see right through you.

“I see.” He lowered his legs and pat his thigh, motioning for you to sit on his lap. You had dreamed of fucking Yoongi in this very office countless times. Riding his cock while he did paperwork and just ignored you. It had your knees weak. 

You sat down obediently, and he stroked your back, pressing his lips into the side of your head “Let’s get you back home. I would’ve let you out of the cell tonight, but clearly I can’t trust you” He paused, backing away from you slightly, “We’ll talk about this tomorrow, I’m gonna be home late tonight”

“W...why?”

“Some business I need to take care of”

-

Jin was just about to sleep when you arrived back. He stirred as took a seat next to him.

“Fun day?” He asked sarcastically. 

You rolled your eyes and laughed with him, “No but I did find out that...” You paused, looking around the room. Is he watching? “I…I’m really tired actually”

Jin nodded in understanding. “It’s pretty hot in here, you might not be comfortable in that” He motioned towards your jeans, “I can give you my shorts if you want, I have boxers on so it’s not a big deal”

You blushed slightly, but as the stuffy air set in around you, you realized he was right. The thick denim was suffocating against your skin. “Sure yeah, thanks”

Jin took off his shorts, tossing them to you. You turned you back to him, wiggling out of your pants. Jin’s shorts were far too large for you, sliding down right away. The two of you exchanged glances before you burst out laughing. Jin sat up straight, pulling off his shirt and throwing it to you.

“Take this instead, it’ll cover you” Your breath hitched as you took in his naked chest. He was hot. His skin was seamless, slightly sweaty but his toned muscles made your mouth water. You swallowed. You turned around again, attempting to unzip your top. It fell to the floor, your bare back now exposed to Jin’s dilated eyes. 

His shirt smelled like him. Wearing it was like a big hug, and you felt oddly comforted. You laid down by his side. “Night Jin”

“Goodnight”

In the silence of the room, you could hear your own heart pounding through your chest. Neither one of you had closed your eyes. 

“Y/n” His whisper was so soft you could barely hear him. “I promise I’ll keep you safe. We’ll get out of here. Don’t worry”

You wanted to tell him everything. He would know what to do. But then again, you weren’t sure if you wanted Yoongi to get arrested. You sighed deeply. “I know” You rolled closer to him, and his hands wrapped around you loosely. His fingers rubbed the flesh of your back as you hummed in appreciation. 

“You’re so tense” Jin commented, moving his hands under your shirt and up your back, “Relax,” You let your eyes close as he continued to massage you. His hands teased at your sides. You shifted in discomfort as his palms brushed against your breasts. 

“Jin—“ He shushed you, shamelessly grabbing your tits under your shirt. You stifled a moan into his chest, “Jin, I’m exhausted please”

“I’m just trying to help you” He murmured, “You don’t need to do anything, just rest. I got you”

Jin pushed the fabric up and began leaving soft kisses on your stomach before you tugged down your panties. He squinted, seeing that your cunt had already made a mess. You drifted off into sleep as Jin tugged your folds apart, examining you with interest.

“Who did you fuck today hm?” He growled lowly. You stirred slightly. Jin climbed over you, reaching into his boxers to furiously stroke his cock. Pulling it out, he slapped it against your tits, loving the way your brows furrowed with irritation.

“Jin…” You mumbled, “Mm tired. Wanna sleep”

“Yeah fuck baby, just let me do this and we’ll sleep hm? We’ll sleep real good. You’re so stressed Y/n, I just wanna help” He began rubbing your clit, causing you to whine as your legs subconsciously spread for him. “Just like that…there we go” His fingers moved faster as his other hand jacked himself off. 

He rolled you over onto your chest, stripping you down to nothing as you groaned. From the corner of the room, he picked up his knife, drawing a straight line on your back through the scarred spelling of Yoongi’s name. “Yoongi huh. Guess he’s next then”

Jin straddled himself over your ass, lining his cock with you before he sunk into your throbbing heat. You were insanely tight around him, he cursed as he tried to push in deeper and deeper. 

“Jin...” You convinced yourself to wake up with whatever little energy you had left, “Just...easy okay I’m sensitive” It had been barely hours since Jimin had fucked your brains out. You felt Jin trail his lips down your back.

“That’s not fair” He muttered, “Why do I have to go slow?” He began thrusting into you, ignoring your pleas as he rutted into you, watching the way your ass jiggled with each move. “Everyone else got you however they liked” Jin groaned softly, sounds of slapping skin filling the room. “It’s my turn. I was patient. I deserve this” 

He cums quickly, his hot seed spilling out of you. You roll your eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to put my cock in you”

Your eyes felt heavy, you didn’t care. Your thoughts went to Yoongi, desperate his embrace, his sweet voice for some comfort as you drifted to sleep.

-

Weekdays at Death Valley were generally quieter. Yoongi preferred only to visit the dive bar at those times, where he wouldn’t run into any clients or fans. He would sit at the same place, at the very back end of the bar where no one would be able to see him unless they knew where to look. He poked aimlessly at the martini in front of him, before sipping the bitter liquid. 

“Are you fucking insane?” Taehyung growled, sliding into the stool “Okay I admit, you calling that accident on Jimin made sense. Hell, I’ll give you the kidnapping. I get it, you’re jealous, whatever. But stabbing Jungkook? Are you serious? We need him”

Yoongi blinked at him, “Stabbed him? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Taehyung bit his lip, “No way. No fucking way. It wasn’t you?”

Yoongi shook his head. 

ᐊ——[ previous ] series navi | masterlist | [ next ]——ᐅ

a/n: yall aint ready for this jin, thats all i have to say. lmk what you think. I’ll be honest I had an ASS week so sorry if this isn’t good. anyways, hyung line smut next week :))) see you then!

taglist: @imluckybitches @gee-nee @missseoulite @hcneybees @kooookie​ @queenmasterxx @crustycaitlin @virgo-and-libra @un2-verse @winter-melontea @equivocacies​ @infernal-alpaca @shrimpmsg @meowmeowyoongles @rjsmochii @liltangerined @littlrmills14-blog @issysor @arandomblackgirl @adoringinsanity @giadalin @jeontier @kaithezaftig @jinssexytoe @nonnis97@minyoongiboongi @happygirl62304 @just-me-and-myselfs @purplepebbles @channiespup @lilacdreams-00 @kianam @thmrdrs @kpoppin-mel @namjooningelsewhere @lolzerss @planetsope

death valley (m) | part 8

summary: welcome to death valley. once you’re in, there’s no telling whether you’ll make it out alive. a summer internship turns wild with blurry nights of dangerous men, dirty money, and extremely hot sex. you soon get caught in a savage game of greed, power and obsession, only to find out that you are the grand prize

pairing: ot7 x f.reader smut ft: jin x reader, jungkook x reader, taehyung x reader

genre: smut. yandere. mystery. thriller. gang!au rockstar!au fightclub!au

wordcount: 9.0k

warnings: reader discretion advised. rough sex, physical roughness, sadism kink, pain kink, breast play, fingering, elevator sex (semipublic), praise kink, dirty talk, unrealistic endurance (this is one day LMAO), attempted fire play, bondage, guns, attempted shootings, knife play if you squint, spanking, degradation (name calling, slut shaming, being really mean lolol thanks jin), crying kink? lot of crying, toxic and manipulative behaviors, jin steps on you so there’s that, character death, heavy drug use, paranoia/fear, voyeurism, sex while intoxicated, me trying to put some humor where i can, sweet dom!jungkook, wild dom!jin, and a sprinkle of dom!taehyung ;) ALSO eyebrowpiercing!jungkook. very important. 

a/n: s/o soowoozoo!bts for being my inspo. 

part 0 | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | series navi | masterlist |

F L A S H F O R W A R D--

Goosebumps spread across your skin as the silence set in. The room was chilly, air conditioner buzzing in contrast to the slick humidity of the summer night waiting for you outside. The white light made your eyes ache, the walls were plain, dry, empty.

You stared blankly at the table in front of you. The sound of the pen scratching paper made you ache, remembering kinder days when you and Hobi would be goofing around and writing songs. How did you get here? How did you let this happen?

The previous night, you had dreamt of being at a concert, somewhere far from Death Valley. Losing yourself to music and molly, a soft pair of hands on your hips as you danced the night away, singing at the top of your lungs. Those same hands wrapping around your waist, nose tracing behind your ear to whisper to you how pretty you were. How hot you looked and how badly he wanted to tear your clothes off with his teeth. 

You allowing him to pick you up so easily, take you back to his car where you scrambled into the back seat. Like children. The first kiss was magic, you were glued to him and could barely move on. He wouldn’t leave you for a second, he wouldn’t let you breathe. Your lips were hot on each other, soft moans and giggles. Swallowed smiles as you drank one another in, bodies like waves crashing against each other.

Hands wandering until he had you where he wanted. Where you wanted. He loved you down so incredibly good. How he was able to tear you apart while still being so sweet, you could barely even fathom. His teeth dug into the flesh of your breasts, fingers hooking around your panties. 

His tongue ravished your figure. There was no part of you left untouched, no part of you that wasn’t completely ablaze with arousal. You would arch your neck back as he lapped away at the sweetness dripping between your legs, your hands combing through his wavy black hair.

His tongue knew where to go, he knew how you liked it, and your fist clenched as he fucked you with his mouth through and through. He always made sure you came first. Always. Every single time.

Whether you had mere minutes or long hours, he loved the way you tasted, making sure you knew that at every chance he got. Sloppy wet kisses traveled up your stomach to your chest, up your neck, hands caressing your ass, scratching your back, holding you close for a moment. 

You were whisked away into heaven, just briefly, as his thick cock would push into you. Your pussy pulling him in, wanting to feel the familiar but oh so incredible stretch that only he gave you. 

Taehyung. You sobbed as he fucked you, allowing him to kiss the glossy tears off of your cheeks as he rolled his hips, angling so perfectly to nudge deep within you. His sinister grin, his giggles, his chaos. You were in the hands of disaster but you never felt more safe. 

Why are you crying dumbass? He would find your state amusing, continuing to fuck you, thrusts long and smooth. Quick, but slow enough for you to savor each second. Your whining lost behind the wet sound of your bodies colliding.

Where are you? Are you watching this right now? You’re not really dead are you?

Stroking your cheek, he leaned down to whisper against your mouth. The words he would keep on saying, echoing back to you. Play along. I won’t hurt you.

What exactly you were playing, you were unsure. 

“Look at me” Your eyes darted up to meet Jin’s deceivingly innocent eyes. “I’m gonna ask you again, did you kill Kim Taehyung?” 

You gulped, sweat collecting onto the cold handcuffs around your wrists. Jin glanced at the mirrored wall, before letting out a heavy sigh. 

“It appears that Kim Taehyung was murdered about two hours before the party. We found your gun near the body.” Jin holds up the custom weapon Yoongi had given that was unmistakably yours. “Where were you at that time?” You felt your eyes getting heavy.

“I was” You lips were chapped, mouth clammy with a bitter taste. You looked him dead in the eye, stomach sickened by the amusement glistening within them as you struggled with your response. You knew he was getting a kick out of it. You wanted to spit on his face. You wanted to slap him, to scream, to flip the table and break out of the windowless room that caged you.

“I was with...y..” Jin smirked, leaning back. You cleared your throat, mind running a mile a minute.

“With who Y/n?”

You glared at him. He was treating this as some sort of role play. You felt queasy at the thought. Someone was dead. Dead. 

“You. I was with you”

F L A S H B A C K--

The morning rays slid through the expansive glass wall of the hotel room, causing Yoongi’s eyes to flinch, squinting as they opened and took in the day that presented itself. He sighed heavily, the weight of the previous night still on his mind. You were still asleep, but he could see through the chaffing beneath your wrists that you were not comfortable. He took the leash and fastened it to the headboard, ensuring you had no escape. 

Grabbing his keys, Yoongi quickly got dressed in a white hoodie and left the room. He needed to find out the truth for himself. He couldn’t afford to have you lying to him already. 

It was so frustrating to him that you couldn’t just be honest with him. He had been immensely open with you even if he was not proud of what he had to share. Why would you hide things? Hadn’t he proven himself to you? Hadn’t he done everything to win your heart?

Yoongi sighed. His anger issues were core to his being. It was part of his true self, but he had spent years trying to become someone you would fall in love with. All he wanted to do was make home in your heart, but no matter how many of your suitors he ended up threatening, beating to a pulp, and forcing them to bail on you, there was nothing in his power that could tear down that goddamn Park Jimin poster on your bedroom wall.

There was nothing he could do to stop you from writing small fantasies in your journal that you kept stashed in your bedside drawer. 

Yoongi would be lying if he said he didn’t come close to killing Jimin multiple times before. But he realized that would not have delivered him a solution. If Jimin died, you would mourn. You would still harbor that love for him and never have an opportunity to see what he really was. It was because of this Yoongi, with Taehyung’s helpful insight, had orchestrated a way to destroy Jimin in your eyes. 

Jimin was then introduced to Yoongi’s two weapons of destruction, Taehyung and cocaine. Yoongi worked hard to build himself up as a successful music producer. He had to be better than Jimin, had to make sure he could offer you everything Jimin could and more. 

To his surprise, you did move on from Jimin, at least the reality of him. But this fantasy of who he used to be remained pinned to your heart. After Jimin quit music, the mention of his name would still cause you to blush and smile. It made Yoongi want to throw up.

You had to see for yourself. Yoongi learned what it was that attracted you to Jimin and embodied just that. You liked that you had to chase him, you liked that he didn’t give a shit about you. You liked that he never noticed you and you had to pine for his attention. You liked that he was dedicated to his music, you liked the lifestyle he was associated with. You liked his lack of emotion and fantasized of him showing his true colors to you and only you, a sensitive, sweet, charming guy. Anger was not a part of this persona at all. 

When he felt like he had driven Jimin crazy enough with the drugs, he decided to plant rumors on stan twitter that Jimin would be signing with his label. Using his personal relationship with the singer, he was able to sign him on. He conveniently then offered you a summer internship, knowing full well you would be coming for one reason alone. Park Jimin.

Yoongi wanted you to fall straight into his arms. He rented out every available apartment for the months you were searching for a place to live, forcing you to reside in his building. He wanted to win you over naturally. He wanted you to work with Jimin, hook up with Jimin, and end up loathing him. Loving Yoongi instead. 

Jimin’s gang activity was getting on Yoongi’s nerves. Taehyung told him Jimin was in Death Valley, that you saw Jimin at Death Valley. When Yoongi heard from you, not Taehyung, that you had been kidnapped, along with Namjoon nonetheless, Yoongi had enough. He was used to giving Taehyung plenty of unsupervised jurisdiction, so Jimin’s accident was not a surprise to him. 

But you sympathized with Jimin, which was not what he wanted. He then decided to take things into his own hands, threatening Seokjin into throwing the fight to leech Jimin of every cent he had. He broke into your apartment, fucking everything up so that you had no choice but to come to him. To need him. 

And when Jin didn’t lose, he had no choice but to reveal to you who he was. Even after all his honestly, all his trust, you still lied to him. 

Yoongi was furious. He arrived at Death Valley, using the front entrance. Pulling a mask over his face, he barged in, surveying the silence as a sign that the bar was empty. Through the kitchen he arrive at the back storage room, accessible only by key, where all of the surveillance had been set up years ago. 

Monitors were spread across the wall, but Yoongi’s eyes narrowed in at one that was coming up with no feed. Your apartment. Someone had fucked with the cameras. Yoongi types away at the main monitor, enlarging your apartment footage and reeling back to find the moment the device was destroyed.

He sees Taehyung, whispering something to you. Next thing he knows the stream is blank. He grits his teeth, as all the pieces fall into place. He was a fool. How could he have been so blind? Taehyung must be in love with you. He must have, after watching you for so many years. Yoongi scowled at the thought of the ways Taehyung may have seen you, naked, vulnerable, ways that only he should. 

He had trusted Taehyung. Taehyung had only ever shown interest in money and Yoongi thought that was enough. Taehyung must have fucked you over and over again once the cameras were dead. What a whore. It made sense then that he had cut the line through his branding on you. He was the only one who could have. He had access to you and he was psychotic! He must have forced you to lie. You wouldn’t ever hide anything from Yoongi, no, Yoongi was the man of your dreams. You felt grateful that you had him, didn’t you?

He tilted his head, cracking his knuckles before he punched the glass screen, causing the feed to go haywire and sparks to erupt. Kim Taehyung. You are dead to me.

Yoongi growled lowly before picking up his phone. “It’s me. I need to see you. Now” 

-

Hobi kept his hand on the small of your back as he led you down to the hotel bar. The two of you nodded politely at the staff members who were busily preparing for the big event. The bar was empty aside for a few guests enjoying their brunch-time mimosas.

Hobi couldn’t really revel in the fact that the two of you were getting drinks together, almost like a date. His mind was too caught up in the initial shock he felt when he saw you tied up in his boss’ bedroom. He felt upset, but moreso he felt violated. He wondered if you were getting taken advantage of. Did he promise you a promotion? Was he manipulating you?

Punishing someone like that, Hobi was never one to kink shame, but it seemed a bit much. The name burned into your skin did nothing to ease his concern. Someone who was possessive, violent, impulsive. It reminded him of...

Hobi didn’t know. He didn’t know who gave him orders. He really didn’t care once the cash rolled in, but it began hitting too close to home. He wasn’t thrilled about hurting Namjoon, but two duffel bags of cash were enough for him to momentarily set aside his morals. 

“What should I get?” You surveyed the small menu of cocktails. “What’s gonna fuck me up the fastest?”

Hobi snorted, “Tequila” He twirled your hair as your gaze remained glued to the menu. The thought of you being in danger upset him greatly “Y/n...when did Yoongi brand you?" You called the bartender ordering a line of shots to which the they glanced at the clock before giving you a weird look.

“The night of the rematch” You told him, reacting before you realized what you had said. Your lip tucked between your teeth as you tried to conjure an excuse. A row of shot glasses was placed in front of you. You took one, gulping it down before letting out a heavy sigh. The bitterness burned down your throat. You basked as the liquid hit your mind, easing you slightly.

“Yoongi was at the fight?” Hobi recalled the wild night that the three of you had been at Death Valley. It was the first time he ever saw the man giving him orders. The man was tall, broad, had dark hair and wore dark clothes, face covered in a mask. Could it have been...Yoongi?

“Y/n!” The two of you turned to see Jungkook approaching the bar. He had changed his hair, the blue swapped for a short black cut, and you couldn’t help but double take at his new eyebrow piercing. 

You downed another shot, glancing at Hobi who had raised his eyebrows seeing the drug dealer. Jungkook gave you a light hug, waving timidly to Hobi. You smirked, another shot down the hatch. “Easyyyy Y/n” He placed a hand on your back as he slid into the seat next to you.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Hobi sneered. Jungkook rolled his eyes, used to the condescending treatment of gang members. "Didn’t you get stabbed or something?”

“I did!” Jungkook grinned, “In fact, that’s exactly why I’m here. I think I figured out who Mr. Bossman is, and I wanna fucking kill him”

Hobi rolled his eyes, “Oh really”

“Kim Seok-motherfucking-Jin baby. He stabbed me. He’s the one who showed up and threatened me to move out of Y/n’s apartment, so he’s probably also the one who called for the kidnapping. And he might have called for Jimin’s accident. It makes so much fucking sense”

Jin did what? There was not enough alcohol in your veins to act like you didn’t fully understand what he had just said. Jin had Jungkook move out? It wasn’t impossible. And that’s what scared you. You blinked at Jungkook incredulously, “But he’s literally a police officer”

Jungkook’s grin widened, “Exactly! It’s fucking brilliant. He’s a cop, he fights for the other side. He wins no matter what and can never get caught. No one would ever suspect him. Winning despite being threatened? Who threatened him huh? It’s a fucking ploy. You’re not dead and neither is he I bet. Kingpin. Boom”

You felt sick, knowing that Yoongi was not the only person you needed to be worried about. It was almost funny how blatantly misinformed Jungkook was. “Wow you guys are idiots.” You muttered under your breath, taking another shot before coughing roughly. Should I tell them? Why did Jin lie? Is this even the truth? Jin always tried to pin things on Jungkook, but you defended him. Hearing his words now made your head spin. He’s lying. Jungkook is lying. You wanted to scream, frustration flooding through your veins as you clenched your fists.

“I’m gonna tell Jimin and Taehyung what I know. They will give me so much money dude.” Jungkook chuckled, “And then they’d kill him, oh God finally”

Hobi pursed his lips, mouth feeling dry as he reflected on Jin’s eerie words before he shot him in the leg. He didn’t know where Jin was anymore, handing him off to be taken somewhere. It didn’t make sense. His orders were to seize Jin if Jin won the fight. Why place an order like that all? Why do any of this?

“Y/n, come with me.” Jungkook tugged at the sleeve of the oversized Nirvana shirt you had thrown on after your shower session with Hobi. You giggled, the thought of Taehyung coming into your slowed thoughts like a hurricane, tearing up any understanding you thought you had of the situation. There was only one thing you believed. Only one thing you knew with full certainty and it was all you could hold onto.

“Oh my goodness it’s Yoongi. It’s Yoongi. It’s always been Yoongi” The words spilled from your lips like the tequila that dripped down the side of your lips as you took yet another shot, giggling like a ditz. Jungkook and Hobi exchanged confused looks with each other, only making you laugh more. “I would fucking know okay!” Your laughs grew loud, “I was locked up in his fucking apartment and where the hell were all of you huh? Dumb fucking idiots!” You buckled over, laughing into Jungkook’s chest.

“Jungkook” Hobi sighed, “I gotta get back to work. Can you get her sober please?” Jungkook nodded. He held your waist tightly helping you stand, walking with you carefully to the hotel elevator.

The laughter wouldn’t stop. Passerbys shot the two of you dirty looks as Jungkook pulled you into the elevator easily. Through it’s glass walls you could see the midday skyline, where outside people hustled through life as if everything were normal. Must be fucking nice. “Y/n” Your laughs began to choke in your throat, turning instead to the sobs you tried to suppress with whatever will you had left. 

Jungkook placed his soft lips on your shoulder. Hands sliding onto your waist as he peered at you curiously, “Y/n, is everything okay?”

You shook your head, the elevator door closed as tears began forming in your eyes. Your voice croaked, “I’m dead. He’s gonna kill me. T..taehyung is gonna kill me. I...I know he will. He’s everywhere. Everywhere.” You looked around frantically, suddenly feeling hyperaware of the security cameras littered throughout the public space. “I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone...I” You hiccuped. Jungkook pulled you into a tight hug.

“It’s okay ssh” He stroked his thumbs them across your cheeks, cupping your face affectionately. “I’m here aren’t I?” You sniffled, nodding lightly. “I got you okay. No one is gonna hurt you”

You stared into his kind brown eyes. You did not trust him, your entire body was screaming at you not to trust him. His fingers danced down your figure, freely gliding over your heaving chest, desperately trying to breathe with the fear that choked you from within.

You blinked at him, eyes glancing down at his pouty lips before finding his eyes again. “Y/n” Jungkook whispered, barely inches from your lips. “I won’t let anyone hurt you okay. I promise”

Fat tears rolled down your face at his words. Jungkook clicked his tongue, cooing at you as he continued to wipe away your hears. “Oh you poor thing” He held you to his chest, kissing the top of your head, before tilting your face up to his. 

He leaned in, eyes fluttering shut as his lips landed on yours, swallowing you into him. The taste of tequila was evident on your lips as he kissed you softly, and you allowed yourself to surrender to his warm touch.

You felt heat pooling in your chest as his fingers trailed up your legs. He traced circles into the inside of your thighs, letting his fingers tease the edge of your shorts. 

“Jungkook” You inhaled sharply, his hot breath tickling your neck as you tilted your head back. He licked his lips before sloppily latching onto your collarbone, sucking down to litter your skin with wet kisses as his fingers slid down your shorts, just barely so that he could roll his hips into you.

He pushed you back against the glass, fingers trailing across your bare thighs before sliding beneath your panties. Jungkook ran a finger over your clothed folds, making you clench down. 

“Y/n” His voice sounded equally as desperate as yours, barely audible over the sound of his heavy breathing. “Fuck I missed you” You gasped as his fingers slid under the fabric. He pushed a finger in, allowing your tight cunt to accustom to it before adding another finger not long after. 

His other hand slid beneath your shirt, pushing your bra up so he could run his thumb over your nipples, his touch featherlight, leaving you breathless. You rolled your eyes back in pleasure, bucking your hips up as he slowly pumped you with his fingers.

“That’s it baby, just like that” He whispered, lips pressing into your neck. You let out a shaky moan as his fingers quickened, pumping in and out of you as you latched onto his shoulders. “Look at me. Look right at me baby”

He brought his lips over yours, just brushing them across your skin so he could gaze deep into your eyes as you fucked yourself onto his fingers. You cried out his name as the friction began to overwhelm you. His fingers easing you right where you needed them, pleasure searing through you as he watched your every move.

"So good for me” He pulled his fingers out, doused in your sticky arousal before he placed them into his own mouth. Your eyes widen as he licked of every last bit of you and smiles. “You taste so fucking good baby”

He kisses you again, harsher this time as his hips roll against you. Your fingers grip his hair as he pulls down his sweats, allowing his cock to spring out. 

“You want my cock?” He ran his tongue over your lips, tugging at them slightly as he stroked his cock. You could feel his hand moving between your legs. “You want my big cock in your little pussy?”

You gulped, nodding as Jungkook looked down, lining his tip against your folds, pushing in only slightly before meeting your eyes again. “So warm and wet for me, fuck” He pushed in further, groaning as you spread your thighs wider, allowing him to thrust as deep as he could. He stilled briefly, kissing you again “You take me so well baby fuck. So fucking tight for me. My pretty baby” He stroked your face, thumb pushing into your mouth slightly.

“Does it feel good?” He mumbled, pulling out just slightly before rolling his hips back into you. He picked up a rhythm, fucking you deep and slow, hands clawing at your breasts.

“Yeah...feels really good” Your eyes fell shut, enjoying the fulfilling pleasure of his movements. He pulled your shirt up, burying his face between your breasts as he continued to fuck up into you. 

“Mmm yeah I bet” He pushed your bra up, allowing his fingers to pinch you nipples. He took one into his mouth, wrapping his tongue around the small bud as he began to suckle you, looking up to your face and enjoying your reactions. “You’re so fucking pretty you know that right?” He sucked on your breast harshly before leaving it with a soft kiss and moving onto the other. “So perfect for me”

His thrusts quickened, driving you up the wall as his hands fell to your hips. You burying your face in the crook of his neck as you felt your high approaching. “Jungkook...I’m...”

“Yeah?” Jungkook’s voice was raspy with lust, “You wanna cum baby? Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock, wanna hear you make those pretty little moans when you cum”

You cried out with every thrust as he pushed you over the edge, and you felt your pussy burst with pleasure as you came, the sloppy sounds of your arousal echoing through the small space. Jungkook groaned as the hot liquid covered his cock, allowing him to slide in and out of you with ease. 

“There you go. Good girl. Good fucking girl, just like that” He gasped, feeling his cock twitch slightly, buried deep in your cunt, “Want me to cum inside you baby?” You nodded, whining slightly, “Yeah? You want it baby? Huh?” Jungkook’s hips thrust furiously at you, and he cupped your face, bringing his forehead against yours so he could look into your eyes as he came. “Want my cum? Want me to fill you up baby?”

“Yeah. I want it. Jungkook please,” Your whiny voice was enough to have him spurting through you.

“Holy fuck” Jungkook buckled over, holding you tight as cum shot out of him, filling you up and leaking out onto the floor.

He pulled out of you quickly, pulling up his sweats while you fixed your own clothes. Sweat painted his forehead as he looked at you, panting with a big smile on his cute face.

“I missed that” He confessed, pulling you back into him by the waist. He knelt down and pressed his lips on yours, letting his hands slide to your ass and squeeze them softly. 

You heard a familiar ring as the elevator door reached it’s destination. You jumped away from Jungkook, unable to get far as the strong boy’s hold on you remained steady. 

"I see stabbing you once didn’t really drive home the message huh Mr. Jeon Jungkook” 

You felt goosebumps spread as you heard the sinister tone of Jin’s voice. He stood leaning against the elevator as if he had been waiting for you, twirling his knife around aimlessly between his fingers. “Too bad, I unfortunately can’t kill you yet” He turned to you and winked, “Both of you come with me”

-

Sweat trickled down from Namjoon’s neck, his eyes glued to the tattered punching bag in front of him. His muscles were still sore, bruises still spattered across his bare chest. He didn’t care. He was sick of feeling helpless. Under the dim lights of the boxing gym, he pushed himself, another hit, more force, ignoring the pain shooting through his limbs with every strike.

“Don’t overdo it” Namjoon rolled his eyes at the sound of the familiar voice. “Last thing you want is to get injured again” He turned to the sound of loafers echoing across the concrete floor.

“What do you want Yoongi?” Namjoon sneered. The producer smirked slightly, patting the punching bag playfully before pacing around Namjoon.

“I’m gonna kill Taehyung, and I know Jimin is gonna break hell. I need you to protect Y/n for me. Can I trust you, Namjoon?” His voice was stern.

“Man, fuck you Yoongi” Namjoon groaned, “I put my life on the line for you constantly and you still have to fucking ask? Promise me. I want out after this. Promise me a record deal”

Yoongi shrugged, “Okay fine. I’ll sign you. Don’t let her out of your sight.” Yoongi inhaled sharply, “And I swear to God Namjoon if you even think about touching her, you’re dead to me. And I will know if you do.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes, lips parted, desperately trying to catch his breath. “Yeah okay. Just get me my fucking record deal”

Yoongi pursed his lips, pulling out his phone and handing it to Namjoon. “Paperwork is ready. You have one job. Don’t fuck up again” Namjoon clenched his fist as Yoongi chuckled in amusement. “I have some business I need to deal with personally. Keep her safe Namjoon, please”

-

You gagged, a puke-ish feeling clogging your throat as you coughed out. Your head was throbbing with pain as you squinted against the gleaming lights from the chandelier above your head. Glancing around, you realized you were back at Jungkook’s place, large dark wooden floors adding to the ambiance that just screamed rich in your face. The plushness of his large bed evident beneath you. 

You get up slightly, peering across the room where you see Jin handing a large duffel bag to Jungkook, whispering something into his ear. Jungkook nods eagerly, shaking Jin’s hand before exiting. He turns back to you, smiling as he realizes you are awake.

“Hey party girl. Recovered from our little day drinking session have we?” Jin chuckled. You scowl, searching around you as your throat desperately demanded water. Jin handed you a glass. “I just got Jungkook caught up, but you and I need to have a little talk” 

You exhaled before emptying the entire glass down your throat. “I know everything” You scoffed in spite, “I know everything you did, you fucking maniac”

Jin smiled wide at the term, “I know. Jungkook told me you think I was behind all of the stuff that’s been going on, stabbing him and kidnapping you. I mean,” Jin laughed, a tinge of condescendence in his voice, “You don’t actually believe that do you? Like, seriously how dumb are these guys. At least you’re smart”

You frowned at his tone, unsure of how to respond. Jin raised his eyebrows at your silence before continuing, “Oh come on Y/n. Use that little brain of yours hm? What the hell would I be gaining from all this? It was Taehyung.”

He extended you a hand, helping you out of the bed and pulling you up to stand before him, “What did he tell you huh? That he’s Yoongi’s friend or some shit? Taehyung doesn’t give a fuck about Yoongi. And I know you know about him screwing over Jimin. He’s trying to take over both gangs, not just Jimin’s, and he’s been lying to you this whole time.”

The bargaining chip. “What do you mean?” You followed the flat echoes of his footsteps down the hallway into the same office that you had Jimin tied up only a few days ago. You suppressed a smile as you noticed the curtains were still torn.

“He’s distracting Jimin and Yoongi with you. He wants them to get up against each other so that he can sway the gang loyalties towards him by showing that their leaders priorities are off. Look here” Jin motioned towards a laptop on the large desk, playing security footage of what appeared to be Death Valley’s parking lot, where people were loading bags of cash into what could have been Taehyung’s car. “He’s robbing them. And you know what else Y/n? When he’s done with all of this, he’s gonna kill them both.” 

No. No way. Betrayal stung you as you process Jin’s words, “You’re just a pawn in his game. You were bait. He just needed to you get Jimin and Yoongi to fight amongst each other. And you let him, didn’t you?” Jin chuckled, patting your cheek. “I know he kept telling you that you could trust him. That he wouldn’t hurt you. It was bullshit Y/n. This man only cares about one thing. Himself”

You thought back to the first night you laid your eyes on him, back when his hair was a faded green, his sweaty tan skin contrasting his dark leather jacket. The look of familiarity in his eyes and the gleam from his diamond studded watch. You were a fool. He strung you along.

“Where is he?” You growled, “I wanna hear it from him. I wanna ask him myself”

“Absolutely. In fact, if you’re up for it, I was wondering if you would be down to do another little mission for me” Jin winked at you. You scowled, folding your arms over your chest, “If we don’t kill him first, he’s planning on killing Yoongi tonight before the party. I know because I got him to let me in on his little coup” Your heart dropped, “You don’t want that do you?”

"No” You blurted. 

“So let’s kill him first. Come on, let’s go get you dolled up for this party”

As you left the office, you couldn’t help but notice a familiar figure standing at the other end of the hallway.

Namjoon? Your eyes locked with his. He pressed a finger to his lips before pointing at Jin and shaking his head. What is he trying to say. Namjoon seemed to have a warning look in his eyes. You simply shrugged at him, before running down the hall to catch up with Jin.

Namjoon exhaled, watching from a window as Jin and you drove off, likely heading to the hotel. Looking at his palm he saw the way his nails left imprints in his skin from how hard he was clenching his fists. Namjoon wasn’t necessarily a fan of Taehyung, but he knew a thing or two about him from Yoongi. Taehyung would never kill people. He was averse to it for some reason, Namjoon always thought it was ironic for him to be a gangster given that quality. Taehyung could torture anyone, threaten anyone, but he didn’t have it in him to take a life. 

Which meant that Jin was lying to you. Namjoon never liked Jin. Even aside from all the hits he had taken from the strong man, he always felt something was off about the guy. He feels uneasy about what he had just seen transpire, and decided to go find Yoongi. 

-

“Do you want some coke?” You were in the middle of washing your face when Jin walked in with a bag of powder. “I could use a hit, I don’t know about you”

“Oh hell yes. Thank you” He poured out a line on the bathroom counter using a quarter, watching with a small chuckle as you inhaled the drug, nose pressed against the cool marble. You sighed, wiping your nose and flashing a big grin in the mirror “Damn. I needed that. I didn’t know that you use”

Jin bit back a smirk, “I do.” He poured another line on the same place, this time taking a hit himself. “A lot”

“Oh. Officer Jin is a druggie like the rest of us huh” You teased. Jin poured himself a gin martini, taking a sip, eyes alight with amusement. “Does that turn you on ever? Do you ever have a hottie cuffed up and they’re like please Officer does that..you know..turn you on?”

Jin’s eyes widened at you “Not any hottie, no. Now if I had you cuffed up saying that” He chuckled, pulling you to him by the waist “That’s a whole other story” You pushed him away playfully.

“What?” Jin said mockingly, “Don’t remember that night where I gave you the best orgasm of your life?” His traced his lips up your jaw, and you could feel his smile against you.

“Wow. Cocky are we?” You raised your eyebrows. “I’ve had some pretty good sex in my life. Hard to say if that was the best”

Suddenly, Jin pulled his knife from his back pocket, glancing in the mirror as he traced the blade across your neck just enough for you to feel the sharp cold metal glide on your skin, pinching without actually making you bleed. “Don’t even lie. You loved fucking me. Don’t you remember? How fucking wet you were?” His breath was hot against your lips, but it was the look in his eyes that had you weak in the knees. 

Taking his knife, he slit clean down your shirt, tearing it off of you to reveal your bare chest. “On the floor slut” His whispered, flirty demeanor now shifted into something dark. Something feral.

You gulped, taking care to slide your bottoms off, not wanting him to slice them up before lowering yourself down onto the tiled bathroom floor. 

Jin set the knife aside, pulling out his lighter and setting in on the counter before shedding his own clothes, even he kicking off his shoes. He lifted his foot, and you watched with a curious gaze as he placed his foot on your chest. He kept the weight off of you, much to your relief, and you couldn’t help but feel absolutely filthy as he rolled your breasts under the sole of his foot. You had never done anything like this. It seemed so dirty, but felt so good. 

“Oh my god Jin” You gasped as he switched onto his other leg, taking his foot and shoving it into your mouth, watching in amusement as you gagged over his toes.

“Look at you. On the fucking floor. Naked little whore. Letting me do whatever I fucking want.” He removed his foot from your mouth, letting you catch your breath before you looked up at him with quivering eyes.

He felt blood rush to his cock at your expression. Licking his lips, knelt down, climbing over you to gently trail his fingers where his foot had been moments ago.

“And you love it” He sneered, letting his nails dig into your breast, “You love the pain don’t you you fucking slut?” When you didn’t answer he grabbed your jaw, pushing his fingers into the edge of your mouth. “I asked you a fucking question”

“Y...yes” You exhaled. You felt his fingers tease your clit, teeth tugging on your lobe as he laughed darkly.

Jin reached for the martini glass “Turn over” He growled. You found yourself with your breasts pressed flat against the floor, Jin’s cock pressing into your ass. You gasped as he poured the drink onto your back. “This is gonna burn. And you’re gonna take it like a good girl. I know you are, you let Yoongi do it so I can too”

“Wait what” Jin pressed your face down with one hand while the other grabbed his lighter, “Jin. Hold on.” Your voice rose in fear, which only turned Jin on more. He watched as you writhed under him, trying desperately to get away. “Jin seriously. That’s not funny”

“Shhh. You can take it” He cooed, flicking the flame on he slowly lowered it to your skin, bringing it nearer and nearer to the doused skin. You yelped as you began to feel the concentrated heat. Your entire body was petrified. “Enjoy it baby. You like it. You love it. You let Yoongi do it so why can’t I?”

“Jin. It’s not you, I'm just not ready for something like this please” Jin cocked his head aside in irritation, stopping the lighter before it actually touched you and tossing it aside. “I didn’t let Yoongi brand me he just did.”

Jin stilled momentarily. “And you still love him? Even though he did that?”

You didn’t answer. That alone was enough for Jin to rage. He slammed your face back down, the blow giving you a dizzying sensation that hat you getting wetter by the second. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He growled, “How can you love someone like that?” He pulled your face up, bending you back until you were flush against his chest. “I don’t want any of them touching you again. You understand me?” He let go, giving you whiplash as you fell back to the floor. “Ass up. Now” He spanked your ass hard, causing you to yelp. The stinging pain vibrated to your core. You couldn’t help but love every second of it. 

Jin knew that you were scared of him, he could feel it. He could also see the way your thighs would clench whenever he did anything to you. You were his favorite drug. He was going to ruin you.

He grabbed his belt from the pile of clothes on the side, “Hands under” He demanded, rolling his lip through his teeth as you obeyed him right away. He took the belt tying your wrists to your knees under you.

He took a moment to admire his work, your shivering body all his for the taking. You had no where to run. He had you now. “Who gives it to you the best him?” Pulling you towards him by your thighs, he didn’t care that your knees would burn against the smooth tile as he lined his cock up with your folds. He spat down, a glob of saliva landing on your ass before he used his cock head to rub it all over you. He could hear your shaky breath, your whiny moans that made him want to fuck you even more. 

He slapped his palm  onto the curve of your ass, bending over your to growl into your ear “Filthy whore. You disgust me. You let them all just do whatever they want to you, don’t you have any fucking self respect?” He could see his words were hitting close to home. You pursed your trembling lips as Jin smacked you again in the same place. 

“When will you fucking learn huh? This pussy” He reached his hand to harshly cup your cunt, shoving two fingers inside you without warning. “This pussy belongs to me. You’re mine. My cockslut whore” Taking his fingers out, he shoved them into your mouth “You taste that? That how desperate your needy little cunt is for me”

Your legs were strung together, making it all the more painful when he finally began to push his cock inside you, using his fingers to scissor you open so that he could get deep inside you. His length pushed against your tight walls, your cries and curses only motivating Jin to push further. 

“Who owns this cunt huh?” Jin pulled your hips back, burning your knees each time as he pulled you on and off his cock. Your ass slammed into him with each blow. 

“You do. Holy fuck, you do” You gasped, practically screaming as your whole body ached with pain and pleasure. 

“That’s right baby” He pinched your clit, making you yelp as he flicked at it, pounding into your relentlessly. 

“J..Jin” You mumbled, lips still half pressed on the floor, “Jin please. Feels good” Jin scoffed, “Gonna cum...gonna cum” You inhaled loudly as you felt your high approaching. Your eyes clenched shut as he edged you closer and closer, fingers furiously attacking your clit until he stopped.

You let out a loud sob as Jin yanked you up by your neck “You really thought I would let you cum whore?” His grip tightened, cock twitching at the way your voice sounded choking, the water streaming from your eyes and the drool at the edge of your lips. He kissed you, licking it all up in the process.  

“Look in the mirror. Look at how pathetic you are. I want you to remember the only person who’s ever gonna let you feel this good” You looked at your reflection, seeing only your faces and the way Jin’s nails dug into your neck. He pushed you forward so that your chin was on the countertop. You coughed out, watching as he resumed his thrusts, punishing your clit with the jarring movements of his fingers. 

You screamed, pleasure crashing over you in a wave of tantalizing heat. You gushed onto his cock, tears falling from your eyes due to how overwhelming the sensation was. Jin continued to whisper filth right into your ears but you could no longer hear anything. Your vision became hazy, not minding the blow when Jin shoved you back onto the floor and pounded you to his own release.

On the other side of the wall, Namjoon leaned his head back and sighed, glancing down to see his cock in his hands, now completely covered in cum.

-

Taehyung chewed on his gum nonchalantly as he paced around the luxurious hotel, checking out all the fun features. The pool deck was nice, the lobby exquisite, and his favorite part, the cafe, smelt delicious. 

Yoongi had asked to meet him in his suite. On his way there he ran into you, and you knocked his breath away. He always thought you were beautiful, but tonight you looked elegant. It was such a surprising contrast to your usual getup, but you looked amazing. He was about to tell you just that when he finally registered the hurt look in your eyes.

“You liar” You slapped him with everything you had. Taehyung backed away in surprise. “How could you use me like that? Over and over again. I trusted you. You were really the only one I thought had my back. Without a fucking doubt” You lunged towards him for another hit but Taehyung held your wrist firmly.

“What are you talking about? When did I use you?” Taehyung looked around frantically, “Calm down okay, let’s go somewhere and talk this through.” Your eyes flared in anger. 

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! You’re gonna kill them!” You screamed. Taehyung squinted, noticing the slight redness in your eyes. He sighed in understanding, pulling you by the wrist into a corridor. 

“Y/n. Breathe. Tell me what’s going on” Taehyung attempted to calm you down but you were enraged. “And what the fuck are you on?”

Admittedly, you and Jin had ended up doing many more lines of coke, perhaps even molly, you were no longer sure, but you washed it down with the bottle of gin, finding it unprecedentedly hilarious that Jin liked to drink gin martinis. 

“You used me! To fuck with Jimin! And Yoongi! You lied to me! Everything you said was a fucking lie, everything you did, every stupid word that came out of your stupid mouth was a lie! You just want power. You’re selfish, and...and...you’re gonna KILL them” A dramatic gasp left your lips, Taehyung almost laughed, “You’re gonna kill Yoongi. I...I can’t let you do that”

You pulled out your gun, cocking it and pressing it against Taehyung’s chest. He instantly put his hands up. “Y/n. Y/n stop. That’s not true okay you’re not thinking straight. Don’t do something you’ll regret”

Your hands trembled around the gun “You’ll kill them. You’ll kill them both...I can’t let you do that”

“Hold on!”

Too late. You pulled the trigger.

-

Hobi wandered through the parking lot looking for his car. His eyes narrowed on a familiar vehicle, thinking back to when he had loaded the drug money from the last fight. 

So. Is that guy Yoongi then? The one I kept seeing? Hobi wandered over to the car. Peering inside the passenger window, his eyes locked on a small item on the floor of the car. He squinted to read it, it appeared to be some sort of credit card.

He stepped back, realizing what the name on the card was. He glanced around before taking the end of his gun and ramming it into the door handle. The door creaked open, allowing Hobi to swipe the card up. He slid it into his pocket, before hurriedly returning to the hotel. 

-

Namjoon’s eyes widened as he watched you pull a gun out on Taehyung. He had been thoroughly entertained as you yelled and slapped him, knowing full well that you were high out of your mind. 

Namjoon couldn’t understand Jin’s plan at all. He had eavesdropped on everything so far, as per Yoongi’s orders. Why would Jin ask you to kill Taehyung, why wouldn’t he just do it himself? He knew you would hate yourself if you actually killed him. 

He had also been thoroughly disappointed at how easily Jungkook had bought into Jin’s agenda as well. The things people do for money. Namjoon sighed, realizing that he was pretty much acting on similar motivations. 

You were ready to pull the trigger, and Namjoon was almost certain you wouldn’t do it, until he saw your finger begin to curl. He ran towards the corridor as fast as he could.

“Hold on!” He yelled, but it was too late. Taehyung’s eyes flew shut.

Namjoon blinked, not hearing the familiar gunshot sound. You looked equally confused, glancing down the barrel of your gun. Taehyung let out a shaky sigh of relief, sliding down the wall.

“It...was a blank” You mumbled. Namjoon rushed to your side, pulling you away from Taehyung. “What the...what was I just about to do?” His heart clenched as your lips parted in shock.

“Taehyung are you okay?” Namjoon asked. Taehyung nodded, clearly shaken up but managing to get a hold of himself. 

“What the fuck is going on?” He growled, “Who gave her a gun? And who gave her drugs while she had a gun? Fucking hell”

Namjoon stroked your back as you let the gun drop to the floor, the weight of your actions finally hitting you. 

“I’m so sorry. Taehyung I...” You looked into his eyes. Those eyes that always left you questioning what was really going on in that pretty head of his. 

“Yeah. Jin fucking fed her some interesting stories about how you’re using her. At least I hope they’re just stories” Namjoon peered at him. “I’m Namjoon by the way, we haven’t officially met”

Taehyung shook his hand “Hi Namjoon. I heard you make pretty decent music” He chuckled ironically, “Y/n, I need you to tell me everything Jin said. There’s been some sort of misunderstanding, I promise you I wasn’t taking advantage of you.”

Namjoon made a face, exchanging a glance with you as you nodded slowly. Namjoon was not entirely sure he should believe Taehyung. He supposed it wouldn’t matter, when he knew that Yoongi was planning to kill Taehyung anyways. The more information he had, the better he could at least keep you out of trouble. 

P R E S E N T  D A Y--

Security escorted you and Jimin out immediately as the media broke into a frenzy trying to figure out what had happened. You had hoped your acting skills had convinced him. 

After Taehyung sobered you up slightly, the three of you had sat and schemed. Using everything the three of you knew, you were able to figure out that it really was Jin behind Jimin’s accident, your and Namjoon’s kidnapping, as well as Jungkook’s attempted murder. He was able to do all of this using Hobi’s help, but Hobi seemed not to know that he was receiving orders from Jin.

The question remained how and why. 

“I know you’re not going to believe me. So I have proof” Taehyung pulled his phone out, pulling up a recording of Jin tied up somewhere.

All I ask, is that when the dust settles, Y/n is mine. And I get to kill them. My way

You felt queasy seeing his earnest expression through the film. Namjoon’s jaw clenched, recognizing crazy when he saw it, wishing he could have knocked the guy’s brains out beforehand.

“Listen to me. This guy is dangerous. I don’t really understand why he’s doing all of this. He said he wanted to help me, but clearly there’s some other motive here. Otherwise he wouldn’t go behind my back.” Taehyung muttered.

“The only way to know what he wants is to see what he does next” Namjoon pitched in. 

You glanced between the two men, feeling weirdly relieved that you finally had some solid answers. Having Namjoon by your side after so long was the best thing you could ask for at the moment, and you clung to him, hands wrapped around his arm tightly. He thought it was cute.

“Let me fake my death. Let’s see what he does.”

The drivers took you and Jimin to the precinct. You looked around for Namjoon but he was nowhere to be seen. Your eyes met Jin’s briefly as he signed some paperwork. He winked at you.

“Can I have the body taken to get an autopsy report please?” You weren’t phased by this. Taehyung had said he had enough contacts to make it truly believable that he had died. Jimin’s face was void of emotion as he watched the stretcher go past with the body on it.

You left the hold on his hand, your blood running cold as the body nears you. It was loosely covered with a white sheet, but the arm hung out limply from the sight.

That watch. That’s his watch.

Jimin pressed his lips to the top of your head, sliding his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him “You okay babe?” 

“I...no yeah, I’m just shocked” You stammered. You looked up at him, allowing him to place a loving kiss on your lips.

Jimin felt for you, he really did. He himself was generally an emotional person, it was not something he ever tried to hide. But he always felt like his emotional energy was valuable. He didn’t feel the need to cry. Not for Taehyung.

Jimin stroked your back softly, “It’s scary, I know. I know baby, but don’t worry” He licked his lips, eyes briefly meeting Hobi’s from across the room. Hobi gave him a knowing look.

“Don’t worry. It’ll all be over soon”

ᐊ——[ previous ] series navi | masterlist | [ next ]——ᐅ

a/n: WOOHOOO. the fun is really gonna start now. did you miss yoongi? don’t worry, he’ll be back. drop your theories in my asks! who killed taehyung? what’s jin’s deal? 

smut pairs are up for next week! poor oc, she really needs to eat some food. yikes.

see you then & thanks for reading <3 happy juneteenth! 

taglist: @imluckybitches @gee-nee @missseoulite @hcneybees @kooookie​ @queenmasterxx @crustycaitlin @virgo-and-libra @un2-verse @winter-melontea @equivocacies​ @infernal-alpaca @shrimpmsg @meowmeowyoongles @rjsmochii @liltangerined @littlrmills14-blog @issysor @arandomblackgirl @adoringinsanity @giadalin @jeontier @kaithezaftig @jinssexytoe @nonnis97@minyoongiboongi @happygirl62304 @just-me-and-myselfs @purplepebbles @channiespup @lilacdreams-00 @kianam @thmrdrs @kpoppin-mel @namjooningelsewhere @lolzerss @planetsope @ohmykim @xyahrinx @bangtan-army @you-are-my-wind

death valley (m) | finale (light version)

summary: a summer internship at a famous record label turns wild with blurry nights of dangerous men, dirty money, and extremely hot sex. you soon get caught in a savage game of greed, power and obsession, only to find out that you are the grand prize

pairing: ot7 x f.reader smut ft: namjoon x reader, taehyung x reader, yoongi x reader

genre: smut. yandere. mystery. thriller. gang!au rockstar!au fightclub!au

wordcount: 9k

warnings: reader discretion advised. multiple & explicit smut scenes. choking, rough sex, spanking, slight bondage, so much edging, tittie fuck, oral sex, body worship, dirty talk, degradation, attempted somno, coercion, obsessive & possessive behavior, manipulation, fighting, guns, shootings, a sexy motorcycle chase, nudity, smoking, drugs, alc use, a game of strip poker, praise, crying, feelings of fear, character death, police arrest, mention of past noncon activity (not described), dom!yoongi, dom!taehyung, switch!namjoon, dom!namjoon *finally*

part 0 | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | finale (lite) | finale (dark) part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | series navi | masterlist |

Above the soft crinkling of the fire, all that was heard in the silent summer evening were the echoes of your soft moans. Two bottles of liquor spilt across the fine hardwood floors. One man on his knees before your spread legs.

From the dim glow you watched, lips parted as he snorted another line of coke off of your trembling body. Shivers ran through your spine with the wet glide of his tongue against your inner thigh.

Your fingers weaved through his freshly cut hair, gripping the strands tightly as you pulled his face forward, bucking your hips as his nose brushed against your clit.

"Namjoon...fuck" You arched your back as his large hands yanked your thighs further apart. The soft vibrations felt deep in your core as he giggled, tasting your wetness over your thong, letting his teeth tug at the delicate cloth.

You rocked back, allowing him to drag your panties down your bare legs, slurping them up into his mouth. A few drinks down, the warmth of his whiskey was starting to show on his blushed cheeks. He spit the garment into his hand, pressing it up against his nose and inhaling deeply.

"Call" He began to pop off the buttons of his shirt, letting it slide off his shoulders. The two of you were sitting on the floor by the fireplace in what was the most luxurious villa Namjoon had ever seen in his life. Yoongi's true estate, where the two of you waited for his arrival.

As the night dawned upon you, you had decided to raid Yoongi's fine assortment of high class liquors, taking a bottle each. Out came the cards, off came your clothes— a friendly game of strip poker commenced.

You smirked, unclasping your bra from under your shirt and throwing it at him, giggling as the cups fell over his eyes. “Very funny” Namjoon set the garment aside, his fingers tracing over the soft red lace a moment too long.

An Ace and a King, his eyes flickered from his cards to you. You winked at him, allowing your foot to caress up and down his thigh, rolling his bulge under the arch of you foot.

“All in” The warmth of golden flames illuminated the ridges on his toned chest. His eyes were steady on yours as he unbuckled his pants, revealing his long legs, amongst other things.

“Silly boy. I'm gonna win” You sighed, tugging at his pout, nail digging into his plump lip. Your thumb slipped into his mouth and you smiled as he sucked on it, blinking at you with feigned innocence.

“Let’s see your cards” He reached behind you, coming dangerously close to your chest as he flipped over your hand to reveal two Aces. “Goddamnit” He groaned.

He downed the rest of his drink before roughly sliding his pants back on, pocketing your panties before you noticed. “You hungry? You better fuel up, when Yoongi gets here he's probably gonna fuck you into oblivion”

Pulling you into his lap, he lifted you princess style, fawning at your drunken giggles as he laid you down on the kitchen counter. Reaching into the pantry, you scanned the vast assortment of snacks available to you, until your eyes landed on the perfect thing.

You twirled a can of whipped cream in your hands, the edges of your lips dripping with the sugary substance. Dollops of cream sliding down onto your chest.

"You have got to be kidding me" Rolling his eyes, Namjoon grabbed a hand towel as he slotted himself between your thighs. You watched as he dabbed away at your chest.

He inhaled sharply as his eyes moved to your creamed out lips. You let your tongue glide over them, curling as if you were beckoning him forward. Namjoon hadn't even realized he was leaning in, face barely inches from yours, so close he could almost taste the sticky sweetness on your skin.

"Careful. He might have cameras" You hissed, letting your knee brush against his bulging cock. He rolled his hips against you, hands gripping your waist as if you were his lifeline. His brows furrowed, lips parted in conflict. He wanted to kiss you, god he wanted to kiss you.

"You're gonna be the death of me aren't you?" Namjoon sighed, wiping your mouth with the towel. Suddenly you heard a loud growl of an engine. You and Namjoon exchanged a look, both arriving at the same conclusion—

Yoongi had arrived.

"Take him to the basement, and don't make a fucking sound" You heard Yoongi's angry tone echo through the large house. Gulping, you slid off of the counter, motioning for Namjoon to go somewhere else.

Straining your neck, you attempted to see what was happening at the front of the house. A man, who you concluded to be Hobi was carrying a body thrown over his shoulder, descending into what you assumed was the basement.

“You did well Hoseok. Always so loyal…it really is a shame” Yoongi reached into his back pocket.

Boom. One bullet. Then another. And another.

Hobi's body dropped to the ground. Yoongi kicked his face aside so he could look into the dying man’s eyes. He spat down at him bitterly, shooting the gun a few more times until he was covered in blood.

Once he was satisfied with the number of holes in Hobi’s body, he tossed the gun aside.

-

The master bedroom was unlike anything you had ever seen. There was a magnificent view of the ocean, the bed was circular. It was very elegant—very Yoongi. He had quite literally bought a palace. And here you were, his little princess, trapped amongst his vices.

Yoongi had yet to come upstairs, and with a sinking feeling you realized what he was likely doing. You eyed the hot tub, a bit of relaxation appealing to you greatly.

It wasn’t like you didn’t know what you had signed up for. Everyone warned you, hell— even Yoongi warned you. Pushing your thoughts aside, you stripped down to your bones, letting your foot glide against the scorching water.

You watched the way the smoke danced over the delicate ripples as you slowly eased your way in. The initial burn sinking into your muscles, giving you an overwhelming wave of relief.

Leaning back, you allowed yourself to think back to earlier that morning at the motel, when you saw the supposedly dead man grinning at you wickedly, heeding to his empty promises of a new plan. A way out of this mess.

Call me when you realize you're more than a trophy He had laughed, handing you a burner phone I know how to get rid of him. But I'll need your help.

He had seemed confident that you would call him, agree to play his little game. At the time, you remember thinking he was ridiculous. You would never turn on your precious Yoongi.

Especially not for Kim Taehyung.

“So fucking beautiful” A smirk tugged at your lips as you heard Yoongi’s breathless voice. Like silk you emerged, water sculpting over your naked figure, relishing the sensation with every inch of your skin. You turned, allowing him to silently ravish you with dark eyes.

“Who, me or the view?” You teased, lazily sliding on your shawl, a lace ridden, black silk that made you look like sin itself. Walking over to him slowly, you teased your fingers over his chest. For a moment you took comfort in the steady beat of his heart. Gripping the fabric, you pulled him towards you.

“They’re one in the same to me.” Yoongi looked at you with amusement, thumb sliding against your damp jaw. His hands—the same hands that had shot Hobi just minutes before now trailed down to your shoulders, caressing the tense skin in an effort to comfort you. “Did you miss me princess?”

“So much” A moan left your lips, tilting your head to the side in pleasure. His touch was firm. Thumb pushing in deep at your nape, the largest source of your stress concentrated in the prominent scar on your body. Yoongi’s pride, and your pain.

He pushed his thumbs up your neck, pressing back so he could trace his lips down your sensitive neck. He latched onto you. His lips traveled over your shoulders to the top of your chest, kisses becoming increasingly intentional.

With a simple flick of his wrist, your shawl was rendered useless, a pile on the floor. He paused. His daring brown eyes stared deep into yours, hardly blinking as though he would regret missing a second of not seeing you. His lips, almost grazing against yours, let out a soft, yearning sigh.

His hands trailed down your body. You felt his bulge pressing against your thigh “I missed you too.” The breathless whisper of his words had your body heating fast. He took a dip into heaven as his mouth pressed against yours, tongues winding together as he deepened the kiss. You kissed him with spinning desire, almost desperate to suppress the pain that ached in your heat.

The starry sky reflected through his dark, intense stare as he watched you slide down, trailing your kisses lower until you could fiddle with his belt. Pulling it off rapidly, you tugged down his pants, immediately diving in, wanting to give him everything.

He was starved of you, grabbing a hand full of your hair to tilt your neck up just to shove his cock balls-deep into your throat, letting you gag all over him. The noises you made were obscene, the pleasure—unreal.

He clicked his tongue, wiping the drool from the edge of your lips as he continued thrusting down your throat. He fucked you like a ragdoll, took you like mindless whore.

“That's it...come on love, you can take it” He growled, pulling your head so he could get further down into you. You squirmed relentlessly, desperate for air.

Yoongi released you, allowing you to catch your breath. You panted, head dizzy and heart racing.

Pulling you back up, he shoved your chest into the rugged cobblestone wall, rutting his cock against the slickness of your sensitive folds. Your pussy welcomed him in, tightening down on his veiny length.

You felt like screaming. One second you had been utterly convinced, that despite everything— Yoongi was the man of your dreams. Part of you wish you hadn’t seen what you had, loving Yoongi felt so right. But it was wrong. Everything about him was wrong.

"God I could never get tired of fucking you. My sweet sweet princess, take me so fucking well...look at you” Your eyes were glued shut, tears rolling down your cheeks as frustration boiled within you. You were miserable. Anytime you felt like you were so close to a win, your fantasy came shattering down. You were tired—exhausted from being a puppet. Of playing by everyone else's rules.

“I’m gonna cum princess…So perfect…this fucking cunt was made for me” Yoongi groaned, gripping your throat as he railed you into the wall, face buried in your chest. “Gonna fuck you like this…just like this…fuck you’re mine now…bet Jimin could never give it to you as good as me hm? You like it princess? You like my big cock deep in your sweet little cunt?”

Coming back to reality you blinked at him, your arousal far gone but Yoongi was on the edge of nirvana.

“Yes sir. Want it so bad. Want your big cock” You whined out half heartedly, holding your breath as you felt Yoongi’s length twitching inside you as he came, a large load of his seed spilling out from inside of you.

He took a moment to catch his breath, cradling your limp body against him. He kissed your forehead, hugging you tight before lifting you into his arms and carrying you inside.

-

Yoongi combed his fingers through your hair, enjoying the sunrise as you slept soundly on his chest. You stirred slightly. He swore you looked the cutest when you were like this, unconscious, asleep, unaware of the world around you.

He kissed your head, a squeeze in his heart as he was reminded of the victory in his hands—he finally had you. You wanted him, and you would soon be his wife. Everything was finally falling into place. There was just one thing left to do.

He reached onto the bedside table, pressing an intercom button “Get me Namjoon”

He glanced at you one final time, your lips parted, drooling slightly as you slept. A rush came over him. You looked so soft— so fuckable. Carefully he pushed you onto your back, being sure not to wake you.

Grabbing handfulls of your breasts, he groaned into your stomach, kissing you everywhere he could. Crawling up your body, he grabbed his heavy cock, stroking it slowly as he admired your shut eyes.

He gently smacked his length against your lips, smirking as you began to hum in discomfort. Pushing your breasts together, he then nudged his cock through the tight opening, so warm and tight.

A small buzz resonated through the room as Namjoon entered. Yoongi sighed. He would have to finish up later.

Namjoon made a face, seeing the way Yoongi hovered over you while you were clearly asleep.

“Yoongi what the hell, get off of her” Namjoon clenched his fist. The gangster laughed, sliding out of the bed. He pulled on a pair of sweats before approaching Namjoon and slapping him hard across the cheek.

“Know your place. I control your future, don’t fucking forget that” Yoongi glanced back at you, blanket barely covering your body any longer “Isn’t she just a gem” He licked his lips. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Make sure she doesn’t go into the basement”

Namjoon nodded, suppressing a scowl. He waited for Yoongi to leave before taking a seat at the foot of the bed. Gently, he tapped your shoulder, hoping to wake you up.

“No” You mumbled, burying your face into the pillow. Namjoon cooed internally, smiling at you frustration “Five more minutes” Playfully he laid down next to you, maintaining space as he continued to poke your shoulder. You groaned. “I’m so hungover” You whined, “Everything hurts”

Finally opening your eyes, your heart pulsed as you woke up to Namjoon's adoring gaze. You noticed a red patch on his cheek, lifting your palm to stroke the tender skin. "Did he hit you?"

He shook his head, faking a smile “No! Of course not. Yoongi is going to be out for a few hours. If you want I can make you some breakfast?”

“Okay. I’ll come down in a bit, thanks”

Grabbing a shirt from Yoongi’s closet, you headed out onto the balcony. The view was magnificent. On one side was the ocean, lined with rocky shoreline that blended into majestic greenery. Mountains every which way. You certainly wouldn’t mind being trapped here for your entire life. Pulling out the burner that Taehyung had given you, you dialed him, humming impatiently as the call rang.

“I’m right here baby” You shut the phone rapidly, turning to see Taehyung perched up on the railing, one foot dangling while the other twirled his revolver around his pinky finger. No longer in suit and tie, Taehyung had returned to his leather jacket, hair swept back allowing for a clear view of his angelic face.

He winked at you, hopping onto the balcony. He tossed you a pack of cigarettes and waited as you brought one to your lips before he lit it with his lighter. Once you had taken a puff he smiled, leaning back.

“Didn’t take long huh? I’m honestly surprised. I thought I knew you pretty well. The possessive stalker type doesn’t really suit you”

You rolled your eyes “I don’t think there’s anything that bad about him stalking me. He didn’t hurt anyone. Jin did”

Taehyung burst out laughing “Oh my god. You just saw him murder one of his men in his own home. I told you already Y/n, nothing that’s happened to you has been a coincidence. Why the fuck you think you’ve never had a long term relationship till now huh? Where did all the one night stands go? Never calling you back.” He scoffed “You should take a tour of that basement of his. You will be quite shocked at what you find”

“But he loves me” You inhaled the burning ash of the cigarette “He really does. I get that he’s unconventional but…am I really that different with what I did to Jimin?”

Taehyung gave you an incredulous look, “Yeah. It’s different because you actually didn’t hurt anyone. It’s different because you didn’t go to the extent of renting every apartment in the city so that he could have you near him. It really fucking different”

“I gave my life to Jimin though. I followed him from show to show. I came to work here just because I heard he would be coming…I'm just like Yoongi that way...I’m just as bad” You sighed, tapping the cigarette against the railing and watching as the ashes floated into the calm wind. “I guess this is karma”

Taehyung took your cigarette and tossed it over the rail. “Y/n look at me” He grabbed your shoulders, shaking you slightly “You did not deserve any of this. Okay. When it’s all said and done, if you don’t want to be with Jimin then you don’t have to.”

“He’ll just blackmail me again”

Taehyung’s jaw clenched “If he does that you just tell me, I’ll take care of it. Y/n, I owe you an apology. I used you. Over and over again for my own selfish needs and I—“ You pressed your lips against him, arms sliding around his neck to pull your bodies as close together as you could. Taehyung stumbled back, but caught your hips before kissing you back with equal force.

You had forgotten how sweet Taehyung tasted, his minty breath almost addictive as you pushed your tongue against his, not wanting to break away. His hands wandered over your body, grabbing at each others clothes and tugging them off, without leaving your lips for too long. His eyes were half lidded, caught up in the frantic desire that you shared.

You pulled him into the room, pushing him onto the bed, fully undressed.

“Please sit on my face” The gangster looked at you with blasted eyes, pleading to have a taste of your sweet juices. You smirked, crawling up his body until he had you where he wanted, hands gripping your ass tightly as you spread your thighs open wide.

You grasped the silk sheets beneath your hands, biting down your lip as Taehyung began to kiss your throbbing clit, his actions slow—sensual. Like he wanted you to really feel each and every move he made.

You bucked your hips down as he nibbled on you playfully, tasting you getting wetter by the second. He smacked your ass— making you let out a sharp yelp as your pussy clenched around nothing.

“How do you taste so fucking good” He let the tip of his tongue flicker at your clit, eager to tease you but his own cravings were becoming too much to bear. "So fucking wet..."

"It makes me so mad" He pushed his tongue inside you, lapping up your juices as you trembled above him. "...when Yoongi has you on his knees for him, using you like a toy. That really what you want baby? You wanna be tied up and used?" He pulled your hips, suffocating himself in between your legs "It fucking pisses me off...you deserve to be worshipped"

"This body deserves to be worshipped. You're a goddess" He pulled you down, kicking off his jeans so that you hovered above his cock. Softly he cupped your jaw, allowing you to lower yourself flat against him, lips melting into his.

His fingers gripped your ass firmly, pushing your hips against his. "Yoongi won't worship you...you know that right? He only worships himself."

"He does..." You groaned as Taehyung entered you slowly, his big cock filling you to the brim, stretching your walls as burning desire seeped through you.

"No he doesn't" Taehyung eased you up off of his length, watching the way your sticky arousal dripped all over him before pulling you back down. "You know he doesn't, or you wouldn't have called me. You wouldn't be letting me fuck your pretty little cunt either"

You were at a loss for words, instead you reveled in the sound of skin slapping as Taehyung bounced you at an agonizingly slow pace, up and down his long cock. He swallowed your sighs, his long fingers caressing your ass, pushing you down, deeper and deeper.

"There's a small disc. That’s where he keeps everything, his assets, his money, all the account information." His lips hurriedly moved to your neck, nibbling your ear as you gasped. "Find it. Jimin's gonna have Yoongi arrested. Everyone thinks I'm dead. Only you and Jimin know I'm alive. I'll take over Death Valley without anyone even realizing it"

You rolled your hips, wanting to feel every inch of him as his hands found your breasts. He pinched your nipples between his fingers, rolling them as he watched you moan out curses.

"You and Jimin can leave the gang safely. I'll make sure no harm comes to either of you. Name your price...just do this for me and it'll all be over"

You chuckled, kissing him roughly "Is that what you think I want? To run off into the sunset with Jimin?"

"Yeah" He rolled you over onto your back, hovering over you as he continued to nibble at your lips "I know that's what you want" You kicked your legs around his waist as he began to grind into you, thrusts becoming quicker. "I know everything about you baby, or did you forget?"

"And what about Namjoon? What will you do to him? Promise me he'll be safe too. If you do, I'll do what you say."

Taehyung kissed you firmly "I'll take good care of your little puppy, don't worry" He pulled your legs over his shoulders, fucking into you sloppily. With every sharp thrust you cried out for him, arching you back as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your high. "He can continue fighting for me"

"No. Let him go." Taehyung licked his finger, trailing down your chest before pinching your clit. "Get him--ohhh fuck" Your pussy clenched down as he began to rub his thumb against the tingling nerves "Get him a record deal."

"Anything you want baby. Anything you want"

-

You carefully crept down the basement stairs, making sure Namjoon was nowhere to be seen. There was a lock on the door. You groaned in frustration, battering your brain to try to think of what Yoongi could have kept as a passcode.

You tried your birthday. Nope. You tried Jimin's birthday. Definitely not.

You sighed. Think. Think. Think like Yoongi. Then it hit you, the day you met him. It was the same day Jimin gave you his jacket, you had that date memorized in your soul. Rapidly you punched in the code and the lock clicked open.

Pushing through the door, your breath escaped you. Along the walls there were monitors everywhere, showing various streams of security footage. So this is what Taehyung was talking about. Piles of boxes were stacked in the corner. As you ventured further, your heart stopped as you saw a body lying in the middle of the concrete floor.

It was Jimin, barely conscious with blood all over his forehead, making you shudder at the thought of where the bruises must have come from.

"Shit. Shit." You shook Jimin's shoulders, cupping his cheek in an effort to wake him up. "Jimin...fuck. Stay with me”

He coughed out, blood mixed with his saliva. He couldn't say a word, all he could feel was pain. You buried your face into his chest.

"I hate you" You mumbled, sobbing into his blood stained shirt "I hate you so much, fuck, please be okay”

“Y/n…” Your heart ached at how weak Jimin’s voice sounded. It was easy for you to say Jimin meant nothing to you, but you couldn't deny the way your heart trembled in his presence.

He was a disease, and you weren't sure you wanted to be healed. He plagued your mind and you wanted him to. He pushed your buttons, pissed you off, had you fuming but he adored you. And you adored him more.

Perhaps Taehyung was right. Perhaps he really was what you wanted all along. “I’m gonna get you out okay just hang in there” You pat his face, trying to keep his eyes open “Jimin. Don’t you fucking die on me”

A serene smile spread across his lips. You had an urge to kiss him all of a sudden but the sound of the basement door unlocking caused you to jump up with a start. Shit. You turned to the monitors, finding a box to hide behind.

You held your breath, eyes clenched shut as you heard the sound of Yoongi’s voice.

-

Pain pounded through Jimin’s head as he slowly let his eyes flutter open. He was sprawled on the floor, unable to recognize exactly where he was, but his blurry vision managed to focus in on Yoongi who stood, towering over him with a cruel smile. There was another man with him, but Jimin couldn't tell who it was.

“Look he’s finally awake!” Yoongi chuckled, crouching down as he kicked Jimin in the chest lightly “Morning brat. You really thought any of my men would betray me for you?”

Jimin recalled seeing your face. He wasn't sure if he had been dreaming, but he needed to know “Y/n...is she okay?”

“Oh give up Jimin." Yoongi cackled, pacing around the injured rockstar "You lost. She doesn’t want you. She wants me. Even though she had the chance to be with her idol, live out her every dream and fantasy, even she realized how rotten you were and picked me. Because it’s always been me you fucktard. Anything good in your life exists because of me. You didn’t deserve your success, I did. I wrote your songs. I made your music. I did all the work. You were, and still are, nothing.”

Jimin couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had never thought Yoongi felt so much hatred for him. Yoongi had always cared about him, hadn't he? The person he really was behind the fame and the glory, behind the thick layers of security that sheltered him all his life. Jimin had looked up to Yoongi like a God.

But seeing the menacing look in his eyes now, Jimin accepted the reality he was too naive to realize before. Yoongi was spiteful. But he would be damned if he would let you get caught up in something dangerous just because Yoongi had a point to prove.

When Jimin had found Taehyung, he was initially furious. But other than Yoongi, Taehyung was the only friend he had. He could have killed him, just like he could have killed Yoongi, but he didn't have the heart too. Which is why he insisted that Taehyung take his help, sending Yoongi to jail. He was more than willing to relinquish power. All he needed now was you, nothing else mattered.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe she doesn’t love me. But at least I love her. You…you don’t”

“You don’t know anything about me”

“You raped her.” Jimin cut him off, shaking in fury. Find whatever strength he could, he lunged at Yoongi, shoving him hard against the wall. He pressed his elbow into his neck, watching as Yoongi choked out desperately. "I remember that night Yoongi. I remember what you did"

For so long he had tried to deny it to himself, to come up with some sort of an excuse for what he had seen. Remembering how confidently Yoongi had brushed it off to him at the time, don’t meddle in things you don’t understand. This is just how things are.

He felt sick to the core for weeks after, not just because he recognized you as the fangirl who caught his attention, but more because of how helpless he had been, too much of a coward to stop something so blatantly wrong.

Here Yoongi had handed him a syringe that night take this and just forget what you saw. And he spiraled from there. Into a dark, suffocating place of self-pity. A place where Yoongi had abandoned him long before he realized.

“Is this why you did it huh? To stroke your fucking inferiority complex? You saw I like a girl and you go ahead and drug her? Force yourself on her??” Jimin cringed, heart pounding with anger.

He couldn’t hold back anymore, he punched Yoongi with every ounce of his strength, watching as blood appeared on the side of his face. He pummeled him with hits, wanting Yoongi to suffer for the pain he caused you.

“You’re pathetic. You disgust me”

The bulky man by Yoongi’s side roughly yanked Jimin off of him, tossing him back onto the ground. He kicked him in the gut, sending him across the floor.

“Couldn't you have done that before? Fucking useless I swear” Yoongi nodded, wiping the blood from his face “Tie him up. Then take the back entrance out. Y/n can’t know you’re here”

-

Namjoon strolled through the hallway, thinking to come ask you if you wanted to play cards with him again, or perhaps watch a movie while you waited for Yoongi to come back. He hated that you had to be holled up at home like this, when he knew you’d much rather be out and about.

As he approached the master bedroom, he heard whimpering cries bleed through the walls, and once his brain processed it he began to pound against the locked door. When you didn’t respond, he quickly kicked open the door and there you were— limp on the floor in a puddle of tears. Face buried in your palms.

“What happened?” Without a second thought he dropped to his knees, pulling your head into his chest, embracing you as he tried to absorb away your sorrows.

“N..nothing sorry I just..” You sniffled. Namjoon squeezed your hands. His warmth comforting you just barely. “I just...I'm an idiot”

He shushed you, tilting your face up “Don’t say that. You’re not.” He whispered, pulling you into a soft embrace “Shit.” He was at a loss for words, not knowing how to comfort you in a situation like this.

You looked at the sweet boy in front of you, with no ulterior motive in mind than to simply ensure that your heart was okay. “I need to tell you something”

“Of course, anything.”

You came clean. Professed everything— what you had seen, what you had heard, you unraveled into a mess before his eyes. Namjoon’s jaw clenched when you revealed what Jimin had accused Yoongi of.

He pulled you towards him so that you were seated between his thighs, as he curled over you, chest pressed to your back. He hugged you tightly, wanting to take all your pain into his own body.

“You're strong. So strong. Okay?” Namjoon whispered, nuzzling into your shoulder "I know you really loved Yoongi. I'm...sorry" You covered his arms that were wrapped around your stomach.

"I just..." Your breath was shaky "I feel completely out of control. Like my life was just molded by Yoongi. I'm nothing but a win for him. A self-gratifying prize. Where's my win?"

His breath was hot against your cheek. You could feel his compassionate eyes absorb every word you said "You're gonna win this. Find the disc. I'll keep an eye out for Yoongi. He won't get away with what he's done"

You turned to look at him, there was a touch of innocence in his eyes. "Yeah. He won't"

F L A S H B A C K—

Y/n, I have to step out. I’ll be back soon baby, and I’ll grab you something to wear for tomorrow. Text me if you need anything!

Jimin followed Hobi out into the hallway, expression turning serious right as the door shut behind him. "Well is he alive?"

“Yeah. Barely. They transferred him to the psych ward. He didn’t get burned luckily, but the bullet wound caused internal bleeding. I can take you to go see him if you want”

Jimin gnawed his lip in worry “No. I’ll go alone. You work on what we discussed earlier”

He hated hospitals. The disgusting scent of rubbing alcohol and pudding filled the dreary building as he found Jin’s room.

Upon seeing Jimin, Jin smiled widely “Oh good! Did you bring me any coke?” He attempted to sit up but his forearms were belted down firmly.

Jimin looked around carefully before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small ziplock bag. He emptied its contents onto his palm, making his way to Jin’s bedside and allowing the injured man to inhale it off of him.

Jin let out a satisfied groan as he relished in the high. Jimin wiped his face with a tissue, tossing it into the trash. Seeing Jin had him feeling sick— sick with guilt. He had made him this way, exploited his personality for his own gains. It used to make him feel powerful but now all he felt was regret.

“We got your reports back Mr. Kim” Jimin turned to see a nurse. “You’re going to need to go to rehab. The doctors were able to get you stabilized and remove the bullet, but it was a pretty pricey procedure. Unfortunately, your health insurance is—“

“Charge everything to me. All of it. I want him sent to the best facility in the world.” Jimin interrupted, “I just really need him to be released by tomorrow. It’s extremely urgent. Do whatever you have to, I’ll pay double...triple...whatever it takes. Fix him.” He handed the nurse his card.

The nurse gave him a suspicious look but nodded nevertheless “Okay sir, we’ll see what we can do”

“Thank you” Jimin turned back to Jin.

“You don’t need to do that man, I just need more drugs—“

“No. You need help. You have for a long time. I should have sent you to rehab years ago, but my selfish ass needed someone in the police force.” He sighed “The plan is still on Jin. Arrest Yoongi for Taehyung’s murder. You get a big win, close the case, shut down Death Valley, and we get to all walk away clean. All of us”

-

Yoongi returned, drunk out of his mind. Not having Taehyung or Hobi around to take care of business made it exhausting for him. Not to mention, it was only a matter of time before the label would have to release some sort of statement explaining all of Jimin’s cancelled performances.

Stumbling into his office, he landed with a thud onto his leather chair. Aimlessly he twirled around, gliding his fingers over the edge of his desk. Turning the chair around, he pulled out a small drawer, in which there was a simple wooden box.

When he opened the lid, his blood ran cold. It was empty.

Quickly he ran to the basement, ignoring Jimin’s tied up body to check his monitors. Going to his office footage his fists trembled in fury as he saw you, slipping the disc into your pocket.

Grabbing his gun, he ran back upstairs, breaking out onto the patio just in time to see Namjoon on a motorcycle— one he bought with his money no doubt, and you, hopping on behind him. As fast as he could Yoongi jumped into his car and began to chase after you.

The alcohol had him drifting. One hand on the wheel, he pressed on the gas, attempting to catch up but Namjoon was agile. He followed you onto the highway, elbow on the windowsill, shooting towards you two. Bullets ricocheting as he got closer and closer.

“Y/n, get on my lap!” Namjoon yelled over the roaring sounds of the engine “Get on my lap and shoot his tires, my gun is in my pocket."

Letting one handle go, Namjoon steadied your waist, allowing you to swing over onto his lap, chest pressed firmly against his. He watched the road over the crook of your neck while you reached for his gun, hugging him for stability as you shot at Yoongi’s tires.

“I can’t fucking aim” You screamed in frustration. You could feel Namjoon’s chest vibrate as he chuckled softly. For a moment he turned his face to see you, brows furrowed as you tried to shoot at Yoongi.

God if he didn’t know he loved you before, he definitely knew now.

“Just keep a firm grip, aim a little higher than where you want the bullet to go” Namjoon returned his eyes to the road. A loud screech was heard as one of Yoongi’s bullets pierced through the engine. Namjoon quickly grabbed you, jumping off the bike as it burst into flames.

Yoongi halted the car, seeing you and Namjoon roll onto the side of the highway. Stepping out he had his gun aimed for Namjoon. “Y/n give me the disc or he dies”

You glanced at him worridly but he shook his head “Don’t Y/n…” Yoongi pulled the trigger, the bullet just missing Namjoon’s face as you quickly pulled him aside.

A wave of relief swept over you as you heard sirens blaring in the distance. “Drop the weapon, hands where I can see them” Your eyes widened as you recognized the voice. Straining to sit up, you are shocked to see Jin, gun aimed at Yoongi in one hand and a pair of handcuffs in the other “Min Yoongi you are under arrest for the murder of Kim Taehyung. You have the right to remain silent” Yoongi dropped the gun as Jin went behind him, locking his wrists up in cuffs.

Namjoon helped you stand up and you hugged him tightly. After tossing Yoongi into the car Jin came back out.

“I’m so sorry” He looked at you dead in the eye “You’re safe now” He smiled at you. Tears welled in your eyes as you ran up to him and jumped into his arms.

“You’re alive” You exhaled, squeezing the broad man who hugged you back. He nodded, wiping your tears.

“I am…” He glanced at Namjoon, giving him an appreciative nod before heading back into the car.

-

The two of you drove Yoongi’s car back to the villa. You had called Taehyung, informing him that you had the disc and he could come get it from you. You sat in Yoongi’s leather office chair, kicking your legs onto his desk.

“Damn. You’ve practically become one of us” Taehyung chuckled, leaning against the doorway “Where’s the disc?”

You raised your arm, the disc twirling between your two fingers. Taehyung began to walk towards you, leaning over the desk to grab it before you snapped it in half.

His expression hardened “What the fuck Y/n?”

“I have another copy” You mused, “But only I know where it is” You sighed teasingly, placing both hands on the desk “I guess the only way you can access any of that information is through me”

Taehyung scoffed, blinking at you as if he was waiting for you to tell him you were joking. When he realized you weren’t, he burst out laughing.

“Death Valley is mine” You stated “You can run things, do as you please, but you answer to me. If you don’t cooperate, well, I guess you just won’t get Death Valley”

“I could just kill you, you know”

You chuckled “No. You won’t…You don’t have the balls to get your hands dirty”

“And you do?” Taehyung raised his eyebrows.

“Well…I know someone who does. Taehyung, meet my right hand” You motioned towards the end of the room where Jungkook stood, biting back a laugh.

Taehyung scowled “The fuck is this huh? You're playing in the big leagues now?”

Jungkook shrugged, sitting down on one of the couches “Don’t ask me…she’s the boss”

-

Jimin woke up with a start, his body not recognizing the softness beneath him as opposed to the cold concrete floors of Yoongi’s basement. He peered around, vision blurry until it landed on you, sitting at the foot of the bed, and Namjoon waiting patiently at the door. You stroked his cheek affectionately.

“Hey babe” You smiled, leaning in to give him a light kiss “How are you feeling?”

“What happened? Did it work? Is Yoongi in jail?” You nodded your head. Jimin sighed with relief, reaching for your hands so that he could kiss them. “Thank God. Is Taehyung okay?”

“Yup. Everything’s fine. You’re safe now. You don’t have to be caught up in any of this anymore” You glanced back at Namjoon “You’re free to do as you please”

Jimin sighed, placing your hands on his chest as he let his eyes flutter shut. Your gaze remained steady on Namjoon.

“I love you” Jimin mumbled “So much. And I’m so so sorry. I know I’ve been…horrible to you. And all of this…everything that happened to you is my fault. I swear to you Y/n, I’m done with the gang forever. Done with drugs. Unless…you want to do them…like I’d be down but”

You wanted to laugh, but the way Namjoon was looking at you had your words caught in your throat.

“Come on tour with me. Let’s run away and build a life together. You, me and music. I wanna be the man of your dreams... you already are the woman of mine..please. You know I'd do anything for you” Your breath escaped you. Namjoon rolled his tongue against his cheek in irritation. Swallowing thickly, you tightened your grip on Jimin’s hands.

“Get some rest Jimin…we can talk when you’re better” He hummed in agreement, and you knelt down to kiss him fondly. His hands slid up your back, pulling you into him as you cupped his jaw, pouring adoration through the touch of your lips.

Parting away, Jimin smiled wide before dozing off. You admired him for a moment, he really was the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. It was the rough slam of the door behind you that caused you to realize that Namjoon had walked out.

“Joon” You went after him, finding him in your bedroom, with the biggest, most childish pout you’d ever seen.

“What was that?” He snapped “You're free to do as you please? You’re such a…” He stomped his foot in frustration.

“A what?” You grinned, walking up to him, enjoying the way he backed away from you until he tripped, falling back to sit on the mattress. You tilted his chin up. “Say it” You hissed.

Namjoon gulped, watching as you hiked up the skirt of your dress, revealing a tight lace garter with a gun hooked against it. Pulling out the weapon you traced it against his parted lips before shoving the barrel into his mouth.

“What?” You coo’d, pushing him onto his back as you crawled over his body “Loss for words?” You shoved the gun in deeper causing Namjoon to gag, hands coming up to cover yours around it.

You tossed the gun aside, spitting down into Namjoon’s trembling lips. Taking his hands in yours you pushed them above his head. “Don’t move” You ordered, as you climbed off of him, rummaging in the drawers until you found the collar Yoongi had given you. Using the leather restraint, you tied his wrists together.

Seating yourself on his lower abs, you peeled off your panties, tossing them aside as Namjoon watched with wide eyes. Licking your fingers you plunged them into your cunt, making sure to give Namjoon a front row view.

“Y/n…” He whined “I can’t do this” He kicked his feet impatiently. You slapped his thigh, making him yelp softly.

“You wanna taste?” You empathized. He nodded rapidly, sticking his tongue out as you removed your finger, drawing it closer and closer to his tongue…only to bring it back, circling your clit slowly.

“I hate you” He groaned, tilting his head back in defeat as you worked yourself off.

“You hate me?” You reasoned, voice sultry, tempting. Watching his face, you rapidly let your finger press down on the nerves until your hips twitched, causing you to brush barely against Namjoon’s desperate bulge. He cried out in irritation, tugging at his wrists. “If you don’t tell me what you want how would I know?”

“You do know” Namjoon growled. He panted furiously, kicking and squirming, “You know and you’ve just been edging me for weeks. And I fucking can’t take it anymore. If you don’t want me just say so but stop torturing me”

You pursed your lips, halting your moments so that you could pull Namjoon’s pants down, seeing his rock hard length pop out. Sliding off of him, you pulled him to the edge of the bed, dropping to your knees.

“Look at you baby tsk tsk” His tip was flushed red, glossy with precum and so eager for your touch that you almost found it adorable. “Tell me what you want”

“Touch me” Namjoon pleaded, not caring that Jimin was only down the hall, “Want your mouth”

You licked your lips, allowing them to glide just barely over the base of his throbbing dick. You kissed the sensitive skin while Namjoon continue to whine and whimper.

“You’ve been so good” You carefully licked a stripe up his length, letting your tongue wrap around his tip before letting him go with a pop. “Such a good boy…patient…” Standing up, you wiped your lips as enjoyed the way the man below you was going insane for you. “But if you hate me then…I guess you don’t want this”

Namjoon screamed in desperation, tears budding at the corners of his eyes. “Y/n enough. Enough. I’ve put up with all of it. Okay. You’re fucking driving me crazy”

Climbing back over him, you pressed your lips against his neck, sucking down as he moaned. Sliding down your dress you reveal the sexiest leather lingerie he had ever seen. “Oh my god” He exhaled, mind dizzy with lust.

“You like it baby? Put it on just for you” You winked, rolling your hips so that his cock head barely brushed against your juicy folds. “I bet you wanna touch me don’t you. Wanna get your hands all over me, squeeze my tits…you want that so bad don’t you baby? My good boy”

Namjoon grunted, a tear rolling down his cheek as his cock twitched. You licked the tear off of his face kissing his lips hungrily as you pressed your chest against his.

“Take it off” He gasped “My wrists…let me go please I wanna touch you” You shook your head.

Then something snapped.

You weren’t sure what it was, the clasp on his wrists, or the look in his eyes that went from desperate and fucked out to straight rage.

Because the next thing you knew, Namjoon lifted you up easily, slamming you back down onto your back. You trembled, scared but so turned on at what you were witnessing. You had never seen him like this before.

“I’ve had enough” Namjoon snapped, pushing your legs as far apart as he could, ignoring when you began to wince out at the stretch. He jumped on top of you, using his own thighs to pin you down.

Smack, his hand slapped your pussy hard making you curse out in pain. “Hurts doesn’t it hm?” His fingers pushed up, tilting your head back as he hovered close to your face “You’re mine now”

With that he pushed his cock in with a hard thrust, not giving you a second to adjust before he was pounding into you like there was no tomorrow. He kissed you furiously, groaning into you as his fingers intertwined with yours above your head.

“You’re such a fucking slut.” Namjoon whispered against your chest as he began to kiss his way down to suckle your tits “Letting everyone fuck you how they please. Just a fucking useless whore, that’s what you are” He chuckled, licking your hardened numbs playfully as his hips continued to roll against yours. “Deep down you wanted me too. Wanted my big cock to fill you up, didn’t you huh? Desperate fucking slut.”

You couldn’t respond, too overwhelmed by pleasure as he hit you deep right where you liked it. Namjoon didn’t like this at all, prompting him to give you another tight slap.

“I asked you a fucking question didn’t I? Or are you too much of a dumb whore, dumb for cock…that’s all you fucking think about isn’t it?”

“Namjoon” You gasped, arching your back so he could push even deeper, relishing in the way his length dragged so right against your clenching walls “Oh fuck…right there…right there”

Namjoon scoffed, letting go of your hands so he could tug your hair down “Look at me.” He barked, nose brushing against yours. You met his gaze, goosebumps spreading at the fire in his eyes.

“I love you” He pressed his forehead against you, and you could feel the sweat from his skin as he thrusts began to get sloppy “I love you so fucking much. You’re a filthy little bitch but you’re mine. Do you understand that?”

All you could see was red as your high approached you. Namjoon could hear it in the way you moaned his name desperately, nails scratching down against his back as he pistoned into you over and over.

“Cum for me baby” Namjoon hissed, smacking you one last time “And I wanna hear you scream my name. Loud enough for all of them to hear”

“Namjoon…Namjoon…fuck I’m gonna cum—oh God” You screamed loudly, latching onto him as your body erupted with pleasure, heat soaring through every vein. You creamed down on him, and he watched as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out.

Namjoon grinned, cock twitching at your fucked out face as he rode you through your orgasm. Deep down he was shocked he lasted this long.

“Baby…baby…” You panted, body shaking as you came down from your high “It hurts”

“Take it you fucking whore. I know you can. So fucking tight for me…gonna fill you up so good.” Namjoon’s pace quickened as he felt his own high approaching “Mmmfph fuck…fuck baby I—“ He gasped loudly as his seed flooded your pulsing walls. He fell over you, panting as his cock spurt out more and more.

He didn’t move, opting instead to nuzzle into your neck as you stroked his hair, lightly kissing his forehead.

“Sorry” He mumbled quietly after a while, “I sorta just lost it”

You giggled, pulling his face up to you “Namjoon…”

“Yeah?”

“Get on your fucking knees”

M O N T H S L A T E R—

Yoongi stared at the blank wall of his jail cell, bouncing a ball against it. There were scratched of tick marks, counting the days until his plan would go into action. He had anticipated everything, it was only a matter of time. People were dogs, and he knew just go to bend them to his will.

Fire alarms shot off in the distance. Chaos broke out, a guard unlocked his cell door, yanking him out and slapping on a pair of handcuffs. They pushed him along, following the other inmates he looked around with a sinister smile.

One guard grabbed Yoongi by the hair, dragging him away and tossing him into a car, a black Cadillac.

Yoongi chuckled, louder and louder until he was laughing like a maniac. He was energetic, felt more alive than ever before.

“Thanks for playing along. You should be getting the money in a few hours…I guess what they say about you is true” Yoongi chuckled as the car sped away from the prison, "Street rat”

Glancing into the rearview mirror, he sees a glimpse of an eyebrow piercing and a familiar, glimmering smirk.

Suddenly he felt the cool press of a gun against the back of his head. His heart dropped, as he looked in the side mirror to see.

It was a familiar gun, something he had custom made.

"Relax...it's just me my love"

T H E E N D.

ᐊ——[ previous ] series navi | masterlist | finale (dark) part 11 | part 12 | part 13 |

a/n: WOOOHOOO there it is! thank you all so much for sticking with me for this insane ride. let me know your thoughts & feedback. this was something new and super fun for me to write, and i hope to write more (better) thrillers in the future :)

this ending is up to interpretation. there are different ways you can think about what happens next. id be interested in hearing what you guys think happens tho ;) was the gun loaded? was oc screwing everyone all along? who should she end up with?

eventually ill be releasing a sort of ~epilogue~ based the original ending i had come up with but you're free to interpret reader's future as you would like to! (im so sorry team hobi lmfaooo)

shoutout to switch!namjoon anon <3 you inspired most of this part lmfaooooo. i hope i did it justice :)

also i wanna apologize for how late this was. i psyched myself out super bad. always thinking like...well it could be better...and yeah. it could. but well. here it is lmao. not my best but i tried lol

if you have any requests for scenarios/drabbles in this au, questions for the characters, questions about the plot, drop by my asks. i love your feedback & reactions <3

thank you for reading & have a great day!

taglist: @imluckybitches @gee-nee @missseoulite @hcneybees @kooookie​ @queenmasterxx @crustycaitlin @virgo-and-libra @un2-verse @winter-melontea @equivocacies​ @infernal-alpaca @shrimpmsg @meowmeowyoongles @rjsmochii @liltangerined @littlrmills14blog @issysor @arandomblackgirl @adoringinsanity @giadalin @jeontier @kaithezaftig @jinssexytoe @nonnis97@minyoongiboongi @happygirl62304 @just-me-and-myselfs @purplepebbles @channiespup @lilacdreams-00 @kianam @thmrdrs @kpoppin-mel @namjooningelsewhere @lolzerss @planetsope @ohmykim @xyahrinx @bangtan-army @you-are-my-wind

I was thinking about something similar to touch me wherever like a oneshot smut where jungkook and Y/n both are innocent but they do mature stuff without knowing. If you want you can make that a series too but I don't wanna cause much trouble so whatever you find easy ^_^

tickle me there (m) | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: smut, pwp | loss-of-innocence!au childhoodfriends!au naive!jungkook x naive!reader

wordcount: 1.1k

summary: during a tickling game, jungkook finds new places to touch you

warnings: explicit smut, dry humping, inexperience, cumming untouched, cumming in his pants, fingering, stuttering, awkwardness, implied attachment issues, assume everyone is 18+ but doesnt know wtf sex is, you know how it is, innocent!koo & reader, needy koo, whiny koo & whiny reader, really really horny koo, this is a very unrealistic scenario lmao, tickling/groping, jungkook pov

a/n: i hope you like this @lejindary-gurl8. thank you for the request! more innocent!koo for ya <3 this is short lil drabble of the touch me wherever au but can be read as a standalone | masterlist

“Jungkook!” You squealed as the boy’s fingers ran rampant over your sides, causing you to buckle in fits of giggles while you rolled across his bed. You attempted to catch a breath before Jungkook dove into you again, wrapping his arms around you as he tickled your stomach. Head nestled over your shoulder as he watched you squirm, chuckling deeply.

It was pretty frequent that the two of you would goof around like this. You grew up with him, together enduring your overly protected lives. Baring through the extremely strict values that your families shared. Currently you were in his room, watching a movie. Jungkook on the other hand, having the attention span of a child, was far more interested in pining for your attention than the film unfolding before him.

“Let’s do something elseeee” He tugged at your sleeves, but your eyes were glued to the screen. “Y/n! Y/n! Look at me” He hated it when you would ignore him, always wanting to feel you near, in whatever capacity he could. He had always been this way, addicted to your touch. Your scent, your voice, your pretty eyes—just anything that was you. 

“Shut up” You didn’t sound mad, but Jungkook was shattered. In a fit, he turned off the TV and threw the remote across the room. You glared at him, giving him a confused look. “Hey! What the hell Jungkook? I was watching that—”

“Come onnn Y/n” You huffed in irritation, which only made him smile. You would always get worked up when he would annoy you like this. But Jungkook knew you would always give in to him eventually. You couldn’t possibly say no to him.

“You’re so annoying” You playfully smacked his arm, rolling you eyes. He scoffed, feigning a hurt look that slowly turned into a naughty smile. 

“Oh yeah?” He poked your stomach, scooting so close that his face was barely inches from yours “Am I?” As his nose brushed against your neck, you could see the sly grin on his face. You shuddered as his fingers began to slowly tickle your skin, causing you to twitch slightly “Hmm? What’s wrong? Is someone ticklish?”

His fingers began trailing over every exposed inch of skin he could find as he explored your body. You fell apart in laughter, cowering as he swept his arms around you, hands moving up and down your sides. 

His eyes taunted you with a mischievous glint. Rolling and wrestling, you tried to pry him off, but he was far too strong. He wanted to make you an absolute mess of laughter, completely helpless under his touch. Without thinking twice about it, he tugged your shirt off your body, allowing his arms to raise alongside yours as he yanked the fabric up over your head. 

But the second he looked down, he found his eyes trailing over your chest. The beautiful curves of your body beneath him. Held back by the pitiful hold of a bra you so clearly outgrew. He couldn’t help the stir he felt deep within. You rolled over, looking up at him expectantly. 

Your eyes wide, curious. 

Jungkook found himself getting absolutely flustered. He took a deep breath, feeling a sudden lack of control. His head was spinning. He had never experienced anything like this, and despite how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to move. Eyes glued to your heaving chest. 

“What’s wrong?” You gave him wicked smile “Give up already?” You slid your hands beneath his shirt, tickling all the places where you knew he was absolute putty in your hands. Jungkook doubled over in laughter, attempting to push you off as you pounced on him.

“Oh no you don’t” He hissed playfully as he toppled you back over, thighs holding yours down as he let his fingers trail up your legs. As his hand crept up your thigh, his quick fingers dancing across your limbs, he realized he had found your weakness.

“What if I do this hmm” He whispered snarkily, his fingers gliding over your clothed cunt, making you suddenly go quiet, heat rising to your face. Your hands instantly flew to cover his, and he looked at you with concern.

“Wait!” You choked. Jungkook tilted his head, confused. Your body twitched, and he noticed, grinning slightly. 

He began to wonder what would happen if he pressed just a little harder.

“Mmmf...” You gasped, arching your back. Jungkook licked his lips, feeling his shorts tighten as he watched you whimper. His fingers slid into your sweatshorts easily, rubbing away at your heat. The thin fabric of your panties blocking you from any relief.

His face flushed with an overwhelming pressure. Almost faint with the way you where whining beneath him. He could feel a slight dampness against the pads of his fingers as they dug through your throbbing folds.

You gripped his shoulders hard as he continued his movements, watching with his large, intrigued eyes as you squealed. Your soft moans turning into screams as he went faster and faster. You bucked your hips, causing your clit to barely brush against his wrist.

"Jungko...oh...ohhh" Your nails dug into him, causing him to fall flat on top of your body. He liked the way your swelling chest pressed up against him. Your scent was intoxicating. He felt high off you, nose nuzzled behind your ear as he continued working you down. 

He was dizzy for you. A pulsing ache building in his core. He needed to find an escape, it was just too much. He didn't know what to do. He felt so hot. So good. He couldn't even understand it but his mind was begging for him to be close to you, to feel you just like this. To hear more of the pretty noises you were making. He wanted so badly to give in.

Burying his face into your neck, he sighed heavily, his heart pounding rapidly through his chest. Groaning, he released you in a desperate attempt to catch his breath. His cock felt heavy, almost painfully so as it strained against his shorts, flush against your thigh. 

He turned to take one look at you. The large pout on your lips. The pleading desperation in your blinking eyes. The beautiful sound of his name on your lips. At it was that very sound that broke him. “Jungkook please...more...”

He screamed out, hips jerking into your soft skin as he rammed against your body, humping you as sticky cum began to bleed through his shorts. 

He didn't care. He couldn't stop. He gripped your hips, pulling you down so he could slot himself between your legs, loving the pressure as he flexed his hips down, pulling yours up to feel you as much as he could.

"N..no...no...no" He cried out, rutting against you feverishly, moving you up and down, back and forth, anyway he could just to feel you closer. "I need...need you" He hissed, grabbing at your chest as he continued to pound into you. "Give me everything. Please. Y/n please. Oh God need you so bad"

You were at a loss for words, pleasure sweeping through you like a rush as you body twitched beneath him. The feeling of his bulge, nestled deep into you giving you burst of relief with his every thrust. His breath seared into your skin, whiny groans and the resounding smack of his thighs on yours filling the room as he lost control.

"Ohhh my god...Y/n...I..I..." His fingers wrapped around the confines on your breast, squeezing them painfully hard as he thrust hard one final time, screaming into the crook of your shoulder before he came to a reluctant stop.

Silence. All except for the heavy breathing the two of you shared, pulse pounding in his ears as he slowly rolled off of you.

He chuckled lightly, feeling a sudden urge to smile, a strange sensation as though the weight of the world was lifted off of his shoulders. He pulled you into his arms, licking his lips slightly.

"Wanna play again?"

masterlist | thank you for reading & let me know what you think!