Johnny Suh X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Come Back to me

Pairing: Idol!Johnny Suh x Non-Idol!Female Reader

Preview: “Ack, you’re crushing my spleen” although it was somewhat of a complaint, you still smiled through it, glad to feel him again. Glad he was with you again. 

“You don’t even know where your spleen is”. He chuckled and rolled over, taking you with him. With the new position you were laying on top of him, the ends of your hair tickling his face. Your hair acted like a curtain, blocking the both of you from the rest of the world, causing you to be in your own. Just the two of you. 

Looking into his eyes, you leaned your head down to capture his lips in a kiss that expressed everything. All the pent-up emotions of frustration, anger, missing each other, and love.

Word Count: 3.2k

Genre: Slice of Life, Established Relationship, Smut

Warnings: Fluff, smut, mature language/cursing, not 100% proofread, reader cries and Johnny tears up, the pov used to be 1st person but I switched it (there may be pov errors) 

Smut Warnings: somewhat protected sex (birth control but no condom), breeding, dirty talk, pet names (good girl, baby), light finger sucking, light possessiveness, dom Johnny, sub reader, very light humiliation and dumbification, squirting, edging, begging. he slaps her thigh once, degrading names, Johnny calls himself daddy once, if I missed anything let me know!

a/n- it took me a long ass time to write this one for some reason but changing the point of view from 1st person to 2nd really helped. I hope you enjoy this fluffy smutty Johnny fic. I miss that man sm oml, come home, the kids miss you.

“Yeah, yeah. I know Johnny but thank you for reminding me.” It was hard, always being away from him. He was off touring the world and living his dream, it just sucked having to go on with your life without him.

“Y/n? Y/n, are you there?” His voice rang through the other side of the phone. You sighed and forced a smile that he couldn’t see, “Yeah, I’m here. Johnny, I have to go, I’ll talk to you later”. You ended the call almost immediately, not letting him respond. You knew this wasn’t necessarily fair to him, but you were tired, and the only things running through your head that the moment were kicking off your shoes, eating, and then falling into your bed.

You were currently on your way from work when Johnny had called. Walking out of the office building, his face lit up the screen and normally you would’ve been ecstatic, but you weren’t really in the mood to talk but you also didn’t have the heart to ignore it. The calls honestly hurt worse than just texting, being able to hear his voice was like he was in the same room as you were but then the painful reality would hit, forcing you to remember that he was thousands of miles away from that room you were in.

The sight of your apartment building in the close distance caused you to feel the happiest you had all week. Speeding up your pace, you walked into the building, ignoring the group of boys failing at dancing in front of a phone, and beelined to the elevator. Once you made it to the elevator you reached in and pressed your floor’s button before you had even made it all the way inside.

There was a man standing next to you, looking like he was ready to pitch you an offer to sell you something, keeping your eyes straight ahead and away from the tall trench coat covered man, you watched the numbers at the top of the door increase. 2, 3, 4, one more to go.

Holding your breath in anticipation, praying the elevator would hurry up, you heard the man finally speak up. “Hello, would you like to join-” Ding! You prayed to whoever was watching over you and started walking away. “No thank you, I don’t want to buy whatever you’re selling, and I don’t want to join your cult.” Leaving the metal box without sparing a glance at the salesman, or whatever he was. You weren’t normally this curt, often being praised for you polite mannerisms, but the only thing running through your aching head were those three thoughts from before.

A few more steps and you’ll be in the comfort of your own space, you’ll be home. The clicking of your heels started to annoy you and worsen your already throbbing headache. The numbers on the doors were starting to blur but you were able to make them out. 208, 209, 210. 211, home. The word home is more of a synonym for Johnny. You normally think of Johnny when you call your apartment home, but “home” seems lonelier without him there as well.

You spent an embarrassing four minutes trying to find your keys that you had carelessly tossed in your purse after locking your door that morning, you thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now, but you had given up when it didn’t cure itself naturally. You finally found them and put the key in the keyhole and turned.

The soft and furry feeling that met your calf was expected and very welcomed. “I’m home, Oliver” You smiled at the calm but ginger feline. The tenseness removed itself from your shoulders, neck, and back at the sight of the purring being but it quickly returned when you spotted a tall man facing your window, looking down at the city below.

“Now, why would you hang up on me?” Johnny turned and looked at you with a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised. “M’sorry, I was just tired, and I couldn’t take hearing your voice but not being able to see and touch you.” With being able to read you better than yourself and the small hint of your words slurring, Johnny strode over to you in two large steps, he scooped you up in his arms.

Silently, he walked the both of you over to the couch and placed you down gently. Kneeling and removing the shiny heels that had been torturing your feet for the past eight hours, he looked up at you from his position. The position immediately filled your mind with thoughts that weren’t PG-13 and the feeling of being touch-starved wasn’t helping.

“Did you miss me, baby?” You nodded, your body not allowing you to speak, feeling as if the wind had gotten knocked out of your rapidly rising and falling lungs. “Do you want me to make you feel better? I’ll make you forget all about the day you’ve had. I’ll take care of you”. “Please Johnny, I’ve missed you so much” You whispered.

He smiled, aware of the effect he had on all parts of you. He started to reach around your waist to unzip the pencil skirt, but you were still seating, causing him to look up at you expectantly. Obeying his silent command, you lifted hips so he could remove the article of clothing. He tossed it to the side and looked back at you.

You were already breathing heavy, and you could tell your cheeks were flushed by the heat you felt radiating off of them. He got up from his kneeling position and leaned over you to set his lips level to yours, his lips ghosting yours. “Do you want to move to the bedroom?” He licked his lips, the tip of his tongue gliding across his bottom lip, as well as yours, which trembled at the contact.  

It took you a minute to respond, but Johnny was patient. You were lost looking into his eyes, not having of been able to truly look at him since the day he left. Instead of answering him you decided to just lean forward, capturing his bottom lip in between both of yours. Pulling him close, scared that he’ll leave again, he wrapped his arms around your plush thighs and picked you up with ease.

Without breaking the kiss, he led you to your shared room and placed your shaking body on the bed gently. He crawled over you, trapping you under him. But you didn’t mind because you felt safe in his arms, as long as you were with him, you would be okay, no matter the circumstance.

“I missed you, so much. You have no clue”, he placed a kiss on your jaw and placed his head in the junction of your neck. Before you knew it, he let his arms rest and placed all his weight on top of you.

“Ack, you’re crushing my spleen” although it was somewhat of a complaint, you still smiled through it, glad to feel him again. Glad he was with you again.

“You don’t even know where your spleen is”. He chuckled and rolled over, taking you with him. With the new position you were laying on top of him, the ends of your hair tickling his face. Your hair acted like a curtain, blocking the both of you from the rest of the world, causing you to be in your own. Just the two of you.

Looking into his eyes, you leaned your head down to capture his lips in a kiss that expressed everything. All the pent-up emotions of frustration, anger, missing each other, and love.

Pulling your legs up so they were caging in his torso, you then pulled your upper body up, so you were straddling him. Looking down at him, you unbutton each of the buttons of your work blouse. Johnny kept his hands on your hips, continuing to contently watch you.

Finishing your little show for him and tossing the shirt to the floor, left you in your bra and panties, you let your hands travel to the hem of his shirt, starting to bunch it up until he sat up a bit, so you were able to get it up and over his head. Now with messy hair, Johnny smiled at you and pulled you to his chest, so you were lying flat against it.

You just embraced each other for a minute, breathing the other in. Feeling your eyes well up with tears, caused by the overwhelming feeling of him. Just him, he’s the only one that could make you fall apart like this. No one else, only him.

Johnny held you closer, placing comforting kisses on your neck and shoulders as you quietly cried into his neck.

“Please don’t leave me again”, instead of answering he sighed, both of you knowing that your wish was almost impossible. He hated that you were crying, he hated it whenever you cried, especially when it was something that was because of him but still out of his control.

“I can’t promise that, but I promise that I’ll always come back to you. You and only you, because I love you”, his eyes were glossed over, being overcome with emotion too. You pulled back, giving him a watery smile, and leaned forward again to plant a kiss on his lips that he pulled into a slight smile.

But the sweet moment was ruined by Johnny slightly rolling his hips up to yours. You groaned and rolled your eyes, both in pleasure and annoyance.

“Way to ruin the moment John”, you smiled at him as he scoffed. “My beautiful girlfriend, who I have not seen in several months, is laying on top of me AND isn’t wearing any clothes, what was I supposed to do?” He raised an eyebrow and looked at your uncovered body and then to your face.

You smiled and bit your lower lip in order to try and hide said smile, but Johnny could still see through it. Giving him yet another kiss, you rolled your hips into his. His grip on you tighten, and as you gasped from the tightness of his hands on your hips, he took opportunity of your lips being parted to slip his tongue in between them.

This time the only reason you stopped the kiss was to breath, and after you both breathed in some air your lips met in the middle once again, sealing you together after being apart for so long. You felt the bed move as Johnny readjusted your position, him now straddling you.

You felt the warmth of his chest leave yours as he stood up to remove the rest of his clothes. Everything was left bare and uncovered for your eyes and your eyes only. But then you saw Johnny turn his body towards your nightstand and open the top drawer.

Immediately knowing what he was getting caused you to speak up. “I wanna feel you tonight, Johnny. I want you to cum in me.” His smile turned into a smirk at your words, and he dropped the condom he had been holding back into the box and sauntered back over to your shaking figure. “You want me to put a baby in you? You want me to make you a mom?” He knew you were on the pill, but you guys had agreed to still use a condom as extra protection to prevent a child, your careers were your main priorities, besides from each other, at this moment of time. But you knew that if Johnny genuinely asked you to carry and birth his child, you would fold instantly.

He stood tall above you and paired with the smirk; he looked quite intimidating. He brought his hand up and ran it through your hair, to your jaw, and then traced your lips with his thumb. You looked up at him and parted your lips, taking his thumb in your mouth, you watched his expression as you swirled your tongue around the tip and suck on it, just like you would normally do with his cock. He just kept looking at you intently, specifically your lips as you played with his thumb. But of course, you got impatient.

“Johnny, need you. I need you in me. I’m so wet.” He laughed at your pleading and mounted on top of you, leaving you with little to no space to move. “I bet you are, you always get so wet, and it’s all for me, isn’t it? I’m the only one who can do this to you.”

His fingers trailed down to your hips and played with the band of your panties, and tugged them down a bit, enough for you to get the memo to lift your hips, which you did.

After removing them, Johnny could see strings of your arousal that were attached to your panties snap as he moved them down your thighs are further from your cunt. “You really are wet. My good girl.” You tried to close your legs, embarrassed by Johnny staring at your now dripping pussy. Of course it was caused because of him, and he knew that, and since he knew that he used it to his advantage.

“My baby is such a horny slut for me, all we did was some kissing and you’re making a mess on the bed. Might have to make you clean that up later.” The feeling of your arousal on the sheets was unpleasant, cold, sticky, and humiliating.

“Ah don’t be embarrassed, you didn’t know any better, your little cunt just drips for me whenever I’m around, doesn’t it? Yeah, it does, I know it does, I see how you always tense your thighs hoping to be able to get yourself off under the table with just a little friction.” You felt hot even though the room was cold, your nipples pebbled once Johnny ripped off your bra, and when he saw them hard, he flicked one and then pinched the other. You yelped but Johnny just kept talking, “but no matter how much pressure you put on that little pussy, or how deep you get your fingers, you never cum do you? No, because I am the only one that can make that sweet cunt cream.”

Johnny laughed at you and moved his cock up and down through your wet slit, lubing up his fat tip so it would be able to just slide into your wanton hole. Whenever his tip would catch your entrance, you would gasp and roll your hips, trying to suck his cock into you, but the man above you would just chuckle and call you an eager slut, which you were. "With you being such a brat and impatient, should I even fuck you? Or should I just leave you here to sit in your own mess, continuing to drip while I go on with my day."

Him not fucking you was something you wouldn't be able to bare. "Please Johnny, I want you to fuck me. I need it please, I need to feel your big cock in my wet pussy, I love it so much. I want you to use my hole and cum in it and put a baby in me please, please pl-" your rambling and begging was cut off by a scream.

Johnny lined his cock up with your hole and bottomed out immediately, not giving you any time to adjust before he was pulling almost all the way out, just leaving the tip in, and then slamming his hips against yours. His tip met the spot deep within you that made you see stars and since he kept doing that, you didn't think you'd be able to last.

"So fucking tight, I love your cunt, how warm and small it is, and how I own it. I can do whatever I want with it, with you." His eyebrows were furrowed as he watches his cock disappear and then reappeared in between you two. You could hold your neck up long enough to focus on what he was so entranced by. You were starting to feel tired, and your vision was blurring, your throat hurt from the constant stream of moans and screams that left your mouth, but your ears seemed to focus in on the sound of Johnny's hips meeting yours and how much wetness was down there.

"Johnny, m’gonna cum." He started shaking his head before he answered verbally. "No, you're going to wait for me so we can cum together and if you can't do that I'll pull out and you won't be able to cum at all." "Johnny-" you whined but Johnny just slapped your thigh harshly.

If you hadn't been so far away from each other, you would've been worried, but Johnny hadn't been able to feel you for months, and now that he has the luxury again, he wasn't going to last either. His hips already losing rhythm and the speed quickening, gave you hope of being able to wait for him.

"Pussy so good, gonna cum in it, make you a mommy and me a daddy. How does that sound baby, me, a daddy?" You were concentrated on not coming without him, so you just mindlessly nodded along to everything he said. The walls of your pussy were tightening around his length, and he was getting closer and closer to the edge that you were already on, just holding on for him.

"You're so pretty baby, I'm almost there, you're doing so good. Just a little longer and then you can cum." A vein in his neck became more prominent and his bottom lip had started bleeding from him biting it. "Okay baby, I'm gonna cum, cum with me, you can do it."

With his permission you were able to let go and allow the bubble in you to burst, you cried out as your vision turned white when you felt his cum fill you. You came harder than you ever had, as well as longer and when your eyes opened you saw Johnny sitting there with a sinister look on his face with a knowing smirk. You didn't understand what the expression was for, but Johnny's gaze was fixated on your throbbing pussy. But yours was now fixated on his abs, that were covered in something other than his sweat.

"What-" "You squirted baby, all over me." That isn't what you had expected, and you felt self-conscious, you started to close in on yourself and looking around the bed for something you could cover yourself with. "No no no, baby, that was so fucking hot. Wanna make you do it again." His lips found their way to yours in hopes of calming you down and while you were thinking he was going to plant you a gentle peck, it was aggressive and hot.

Moaning again when Johnny nipped at your lip, he smiled at you and looked back down to your pussy. "Y'know, I wasn't joking about wanting to make you do that again and I have to make sure we get my baby in you. You think you're up for another one?"

Regaining your confidence, you smiled and nodded. Johnny leaned back in, but he was caught off guard when he felt you hook your leg around his lower back and flipped him onto his back, switching your spots so you were on top. "We can do that, but I want to make you beg now."

I Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Idol!Johnny Suh x Idol!Female Reader

other characters- Junko (member of Y/n's group) x Kim Doyoung

Preview: The little puck sized lights illuminated Johnny’s face, you felt your ears slightly perk when he licked his bottom lip, and soon enough you had leaned forward and planted your lips onto the older male’s.

He gasped but still pulled you closer. Johnny let himself indulge in you before he remembered that after this, he’d have to face the consequences. Your overheated body quickly cooled down when Johnny pushed you away. It felt like someone had stabbed you in the heart and twisted the knife, twisted the knife until you were nothing. This man, whom you only met in real life a month ago already had you so captivated in his presence.

You weren’t experienced in kissing whatsoever, but you could’ve sworn that he had kissed back, even just for a little bit.

Word Count: 7.3k

Genre: Idol AU, Celebrity crushes to lovers (?) 

Warnings: Age gap (9 years, Johnny is 27, reader is 18), smut, fluff, slight angst, cursing/mature language, acts and mentions of drinking, reader is drunk at one point, reader and junko realize that they are sexualized, reader has ties to America (race isn't specified and neither is original country), possessiveness, haechan has a crush on reader but almost everyone does, not 100% proofread, let me know if i missed anything

Smut Warnings: Loss of virginity, slight body worship (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), slight humiliation, praising, having to be kinda quiet, oral (f receiving), it is pretty mild, not much foreplay bc it's kinda boring to write imo

a/n- if you’ve watched new girl, you might recognize a scene or at least the inspiration for it, let me know if you catch it! i binged watched new girl over the summer and when i finished it i had no idea what to do with my life afterwards. this has been brewing for a while and the smut scene took forever to start idk why. i hope you like it tho!!

There you were, dressed like the front of a casino and shaking your ass along with your group members. But no one was actually looking at them, all eyes were on you, and only you. The audience was mesmerized by you, and it was no different for the people watching you from home. Especially eight men specifically who were hypnotized by the way your hips swayed from side to side, except one man, he was able to hide his desire much better than the others.

The Dreamies were all next to Johnny with their eyes glued to the screen, Jisung, Chenle, and Mark were sitting on the floor, Jaemin, Jeno, and Haechan sitting on the couch with Johnny and Renjun sitting on the armrest on Johnny’s side. How he ended up babysitting the man children, he didn’t know, but they were watching you perform, and therefore, he couldn’t complain.

Haechan was the one that was harboring the huge crush on you, but Johnny couldn’t shake the sweet spot in his heart for you when he had found out that he was your celebrity crush.

“Now, Miss Y/n, what fellow celebrity has caught your pretty little eyes?” The host wiggled his eyebrows at you playfully and waited for you to answer his question. You giggled a bit and stuttered when you said his name. “J-Johnny Suh, from NCT.”

Haechan, who of course refused to miss a single video of you whipped his head around to look at Johnny. The tall man could’ve sworn that this was how he died, after Haechan broke his own neck from snapping it to look at Johnny, he was then going to break the latter’s.

Both men’s cheeks held a red tone to them, both for different reasons though. Haechan was furious, his celebrity crush liked his own friend and Johnny’s was because you liked him. The world’s sweetheart liked him.

The memory was ruined when he heard Haechan grumbling beside Jeno about how it was unfair that you liked Johnny and not him. “Dude, it isn’t my fault. I’ve never even met the girl.” Johnny was kind of tired of Hyuck complaining. He had started to do his own research on you and found out what kind of person you were like, or how you seemed, some people are different when the camera is around.

Based on your personality, he felt his own crush harboring, the main problem was the age gap though. Him being 27 and you at the ripe age of 18. He hated that your age was the initial reason you were so popular, and he felt sick for the feelings he had attained for you, so to save you both, he hid them as deep within him as he could. It shouldn’t be too hard since you two don’t even know each other.

That was the reason why he wasn’t worried, but that went to shit when he saw you and a few of your other members sitting at the large oak table in the conference room the next day. Fuck.

Johnny, Haechan, Doyoung, Kun, and Jisung were sent an email that very morning stating that they were to meet in the conference room at 3 PM, no later. None of them knew what it was for, there had been rumors around the company that some members of a group would be collaborating with another artist or group, but again, it was just a rumor. Until now.

He looked over at his other members, eyes immediately landing on the younger ones, specifically Haechan. Johnny prayed his aura was much calmer and more mature than Haechan’s at this moment, Haechan was a blushing and sweaty mess, all while damn near jumping on his toes.

“Gentlemen! Thank you so much for meeting us here, we’re very excited for this collaboration!” Your group’s manager was the first to speak up. “Oh course sir! We wouldn’t have missed this for the world!” Haechan bowed in front of the older man as low as he could without getting on his knees.

The other guys, even Jisung, could barely resist the desire to roll their eyes at his eagerness to impress your manager. Anything to get closer to you. The rest of the members gave their respective bows, though not as dramatic as Haechan’s and then nodded to the members of your group that were present.

“Well, let’s get down to business, this is going to be a quick collaboration, one song, and a dance to go with it. It will hopefully be done by the end of the month, which we are aware that isn’t a lot of time so you all will be spending quite a lot of time together.” One of the men that worked for SM Entertainment spoke up to let everyone know what was going to happen.

Haechan and even Jisung at this point were unable to sit still in the chairs that were closest to yours. You just looked over to them subtly when you heard one of their knees hit the table. But your eyes drifted to Johnny, he looked so good. His hair newly dyed grey gave him a, dare you say, dilf look to him. Subconsciously you crossed your legs to soothe the new ache between your thighs, needed to feel some kind of friction, you squeezed your thighs together.

You weren’t able to catch anything else with of the managers said, you were too busy thinking about Johnny, in several different ways.

When the man you were actively daydreaming about turned his head and made eye contact with you, you whipped your head around towards your manager, trying to look like you had been listening. One of the members of your own group that was beside you watched the whole thing go down and lightly elbowed you and threw a knowing smirk your way.

Your skin felt like it was on fire from the embarrassment, but since you refused to look Johnny’s direction for the rest of the meeting, you missed the light blushed that decorated his cheeks and the small smile that formed on his lips.

“Okay! So, did everyone get everything?” You, who were lost, looked at everyone else’s nodding heads and decided to nod yours too. The only thing that was going through your head was Johnny. You just figured you’d ask one of your members.

One of your managers passed around sheets of paper that consisted of the lyrics you could be singing, and he told you a link would be emailed to you with the choreography.

Everyone was dismissed from the table and the five members of your group that was collaborating with the NCT members walked out first, due to being almost late to schedules. The member that had playfully elbowed you during the meeting, Junko caught up with you and linked your arms together.

“Aren’t you excited?” She smiled brightly at you and gave your arm a little squeeze. “Yeah, mostly nervous though.” Sheepishly, you smiled at your best friend in the group. “I’m sure Johnny won’t mind if you mess up your guys’ dance a bit.” You felt your back straighten as a chill ran through it.

“What do you mean our dance?” Junko nodded as she put the small puzzle together, you hadn’t been paying attention. You didn’t know. “Yeah, there will be a part in the dance where we’re in duos and you and Johnny will be together. I’m with Doyoung.” She smiled at the mention of the older man, as she has always found him immensely beautiful. Your brows furrowed and you were now leaning on Junko for support while your group and managers waited for the driver.

“Is that why he looked at me in the meeting?” Junko nodded and after that the two of you held onto each other as the chilled wind nipped at your skin.

The rest of the day was a blur, your mind had gone onto auto-pilot until the rest of the girl group asked if Junko and you wanted to go out clubbing, of course the two of you said no. After your refusal, they touched up their makeup and headed out into the bustling night life of Seoul.

“How about we look at the song and choreo, maybe Johnny and Doie would be like ‘damn these youngsters got their shit together, and they’re hot’ and they’ll fall madly in love with us”. Junko threw a smile over her shoulder at you while she got her laptop. “Solid plan, I love it, fool proof if you will. And Doie? You’re on nickname terms with him already?” She laughed and walked over to your bed, ignoring her own and fell beside you.

“Oh of course, it isn’t like I haven’t spoken to this man before and he isn’t already in love with me.” You smiled at her, realizing just how glad you are that you two clicked. Both being the only foreigners in the group did help, the unspoken pact was something that brought you two together before you had even spoken to one another.

Junko told you about how her parents moved them from Japan to America when she was seven, she was scouted during a public talent contest while she was 13 and instead of moving to Korea, she started training at the company’s building in the states.

You two met when you were asked to step aside for a second. The two of you were told you’d be debuting with 10 other girls, the only problem was that they were in Korea and you, and Junko couldn’t speak a lot of Korean yet, only enough to get by.

Junko and you were in this together, always having your arms linked, you two were going to rise together. Both of you found comfort in each other, being able to speak English helped, and you two had the type of bond where you didn’t have to try too hard, you could relax around each other. You’ve been best friends for six years now.

“Okay, let’s see what type of silly little dance we gotta do with these boys.” You clicked on the link that was in the email and the screen changed to show 10 dances, with names of everyone that was in the meeting today.

The ones that had the names “Johnny” and “Y/n” edited above them were sitting on the floor with their backs to each other. “Doyoung” and “Junko” were just facing each other.

The video started and a slow and somewhat sexy song started playing, the lyrics weren’t including but now finally looking at the paper of them in front of you, you didn’t expect this type of song at first.

With wide eyes and dropped jaws, the video ended. “I gotta grind on him?” Your voice had gone high, flustered and surprised. Junko laughed but it still didn’t mask her own sense of being startled. “We have to run our hands down their chests, get on our knees in front of them, and moan into their mouths.” You and Junko were gobsmacked. “Let me see those lyrics.”

Junko reached over you and snatched the color-coded paper and looked for blue, orange, pink, and red, you, hers, Johnny’s, and Doyoung’s lyrics. Alternating blue and orange caught her eyes and one of her eyebrows raised and she barked out a laugh. “What? Give me it.” You tried taking the paper back and something made Junko laugh even harder.

“You say that- you say that to J-Johnny.” She was damn near wiping tears at this point. While Junko was trying not to piss herself on your bed, you took back the lyrics and sure enough, she was correct. ‘Give it, give it to me. I need it.’ You sung that to Johnny, and he responded with, ‘Take it, take it all.’

Junko and Doyoung actual part that wasn’t just adlibs was softer and a bit more romantic. ‘Please baby, I need you, can’t live with your touch. Can’t live without you.’ Doyoung would sing that part and Junko would follow up with ‘Mind, body, soul, trust me, I’m yours. Use me as you please.’

Now it was your turn to laugh, “Use me as you please?” Junko and you kept making fun of the lyrics of the song through the night, eventually duetting your parts, with the other playing the male, then you two decided to add in the dance.

Junko attempted her deepest voice and sung Johnny’s part and grabbed your hips. When it was time for you to grind back into her, she let out a deep and manly groan. You fell to the floor and kicked your feet. “Junko! What the fuck?” You laughed as she fell to the ground with you.

“Our parents are gonna be pissed.” Junko whispered once the laughter died down. “I did not leave our home so you could go off and whore around on stage with a man much older than you Y/n.” You gave your best impression of your father and that’s when the age gap of you and Johnny sunk in. It had meant to be funny but both you and Junko realized how young you two really were. You were 18 and Junko had just turned 19 and your company wanted you to dance somewhat erotically with two men that had almost a decade on you.

Another thing that brought you and Junko together were your ages, the next youngest member was still almost 3 years older than Junko, you two were always left home when the other’s wanted to go clubbing, so much so that even now that you were old enough, you didn’t care enough.

Staring at the ceiling and thinking about what was happening in your lives was what the rest of your night consisted of. “Junko?” “Hm?” You looked over at her and smiled, “I’m sleepy.” “Me too”, neither of you moved to a bed though. Junko grabbed your pillows and you pulled some of the blankets of your beds.

“Good night, Y/n, I love you.” Junko smiled in the darkness, “Night night, Junie.”

~~~~~~

This calm nights with Junko didn’t always occur when the other members went out clubbing, sometimes they would drag you along. Much like tonight. While you were watching girl after girl hit on Johnny from across the room, you kept downing drinks until your head spun. People kept coming up to you, either asking for an autograph which you gave, but others asked you to dance, with a smile that was promising something else, something you didn’t want.

You were getting overwhelmed and hot, too many people were too close to you, while Junko was dancing with Doyoung and your other members were downing drinks, the only thing you wanted to do was go outside. So you did that, in your drunken state and four-inch heels, you could barely make it to the door.

At last, you made it to the door and walked out and as soon as you felt the cool air on your bare arms, you felt your sweat solidify on your skin.

The music was causing your ears to ring and the streetlights was making your head spin. You knew it wasn’t a good idea, but you still allowed your feet to walk you into the dark alley and sit down. The part of town you were in was high end and you didn’t feel unsafe or maybe it was because you were so drunk you didn’t know what day of the week it was.

Leaning your head back against the brick, you closed your eyes and inhaled dirty smoke-filled air and exhaled.

“Whatcha doing back here?” Johnny peeked his head around the corner so he could peer into the alley behind the club. You let your head roll to the side and your glossy eyes met his. Getting straight to the point you whined, “I want a donut, Johnny” you lips unintentionally formed into a pout and the man just couldn’t say no to you. “Then let’s get you a donut.”

He slowly walked over to you, trying not to spook you, but when you met him halfway by crawling on your hands and knees. The sight of you on the ground, crawling to him looking up with those glossy, half lidded eyes, and lazy smile, he tried his best to keep the perverted thoughts in the back of his head, or at least away from his cock.

“Come on, let’s get you off the ground and get you that donut.” Johnny bent down to your level and just looked at you for a minute. You were just so pretty, and he didn’t feel special for noticing that everyone noticed you.

“Can you carry me on your back?” You quietly asked, almost embarrassed. “You don’t have to, it’s just, my feet hurt from the heels, and I think I’m drunk.” Johnny laughed at how you thought you needed a reason, but he still nodded and turned around, still squatting.

With your drunken mind, it took longer to hop on his back than it would normally, but you eventually got there, and Johnny wrapped his hands around your thighs and held on tightly to secure you from falling. When he stood back up to his full height, your grip on his shoulders tightened. “You alright back there?”

Humming and nodding, you nuzzled your face into his neck, while you were cold from the night air, Johnny was still warm from being in the club.

“Let’s go find you a donut and then we’ll get you to bed, does that sound good?” “Yes, Johnny.”

He had no idea where the two of you were going to get the sweet treat that was normally served at breakfast time this late in the night. Johnny knew that an actual donut shop would be closed so his best bet would be the grocery store that just a block or two away.

Johnny made sure to tell you whenever stairs or a curb was so you wouldn’t get startled by the sudden incline or decline. He liked the feeling of your grip on him tightening whenever he gave you the heads up, he liked the feeling of you holding onto him and only him.

The feeling had to end at some point unfortunately, Johnny’s long legs caused you two to arrive quickly and he crouched down so you could step down from his back. You still stayed close to his side, using him to protect yourself from the bitter wind.

“I know it isn’t a donut from a donut shop but how’s a grocery store bakery donut? We can get you another donut in the morning from a store if you’d like.” Instead of answering you just started walking towards the automatic doors, as you passed Johnny you took his hand in yours and pulled him along for the hunt of the sugary drunken late-night snack.

Every time you were about to trip over your own feet, Johnny was there, following close behind to catch you. The few bystanders all showed mix expressions. Some were judgmental, confusion, or awe. But Johnny gave all of them a polite tight-lipped smile along with a nod. He didn’t have time for any of them, his main priority was getting you your donut.

It wasn’t too long before you stumbled into the bakery section and saw the glass cabinet that’s normally filled with the fried pieces of dough covered in sweet glaze and sprinkles. But with how late it was, there were only a few donuts left in the case. Johnny felt his heart sink in his chest when he saw you didn’t have many options, he looked over to you to apologize but you were already grabbing one of the parchment paper sleeves and opening the case.

“They still have my favorites!” You looked behind you at Johnny and smiled brightly. He couldn’t help but smile back, glad that you’re happy. Johnny walked closer to you and the case, curious to see what your favorite donuts were, you used the parchment sleeve to grab a plain donut with chocolate frosting and sprinkles and then a French cruller with cherry frosting.  

You put them in the small box next to the case and turned towards Johnny. “I got my donuts!” You shook the box lightly at him and he chuckled. “I’m glad, let’s go pay for your donuts.” He held out his hand, expecting you to place the box in his open palm, but he was pleasantly surprised when you switch the box to our left and placed your right hand in his left.

The only register that was open was a young kid, maybe your age or a couple years in either direction. He was on his phone until he saw you and Johnny approach. “Hi, how are you guys doing- are you Y/n L/n?” You smiled a gummy smile at the boy and nodded your head. Your once up-do hairstyle was falling down and into your eyes.

“I am! And this is Johnny Suh! We are here to buy donuts.” You placed the box in front of the boy and started digging through your purse for your card, you were struggling with the zipper and as soon as you were able to find your card the sound indicating the transaction was finished beeped through the air.

The kid was in awe of you, or at least the drunk you, whenever you drank your skin glowed more than normal and you had a carefree aura surrounding you. The kid seemed to understand that taking a picture with you while you were drunk probably wouldn’t be the best for your career, so he settled with just silently looking at you.

“Have a great rest of your guy’s nights, it was nice meeting you two.” He smiled at you a Johnny and handed you back the box of donuts.

You leaded Johnny back outside and spotted a bench a few feet from the entrance. “Let’s eat them here.” You still haven’t let Johnny’s hand go, so when you started walking to the bench, he was pulled along. “Which one do you want?”

Showing Johnny the open box, he slightly frowned and shook his head, “They’re yours, I can’t have one.” It was your turn to frown now. “We can split them.” You looked down at the donuts in your lap and tore each one in half. Giving Johnny the chocolate half first, you cheers him with your own half.

“Thank you, Johnny”, you leaned your body on him, stealing his warmth.

When you woke up, you were in your own bed, Junko was in her bed on the other side of the room, with an extra body in it. Doyoung. This made you think of Johnny who wasn’t next to you, unfortunately, or at least that’s what you thought until you heard a small snore come from the floor. Johnny had stayed with you.

You watched him for a minute before the urge to be next to him took over. You moved your pillows and blankets to the floor much like you did with Junko and laid next to Johnny. The time on your alarm clock read 3:32 AM.

You heard Johnny whisper your name; he must’ve felt you get on the floor next to him. “Yeah?” Johnny didn’t respond, he just pulled you closer.

~~~~~~

The rest of your nights didn’t end up as nice as cuddling with Johnny in your bedroom or laughing with Junko, they ended with pained moans and tired feet. The only reason you weren’t complaining was because, dancing with Johnny is what caused the pained moans and tired feet. Everyone had been dancing towards the deadlines for everything and it was starting to show in your mood.

Of course Junko knew how to handle it, but Johnny? No clue. He knew how to handle his own members, but he didn’t want to mess up anything with you, so he just act the same way as he did before. He asked Junko for any tips for helping you feel better, and she gave him a couple but then turned around and told you that he asked later that night. Just hearing that information was enough to pull you out of your slump and your normal personality made its return.

Soon enough everything was wrapped up and your company parted ways with SM Entertainment, but that didn’t stop the members from getting together. Every comeback meant a dorm party thrown by your group. You hated parties no matter where they were, but Junko didn’t mind them if they were in the comfort of her own place, as long as no one touched anything.

Just because this was a collab didn’t change the fact that your dorm was going to throw a party as a celebration, it just meant more people were going to be there. You all had the dance down, the music video was finished, not to mention the song, perfect. The deadlines were met, and companies were pleased.

Johnny had been late to the party but when he arrived, he went looking for you immediately, only to find no trace of you. Your group’s dorms were filled with people, some you knew and others you didn’t, that didn’t matter though, you were still nowhere to be seen.

“Hey, do you know where Y/n went?” Johnny asked Junko, who was talking to Doyoung in a quieter corner, to which she responded with, “Our room, fourth door on the left.” He just nodded and started his way through the sea of sweaty people.

Fourth door on the left.

It didn’t take him any time to get there with his large steps but what did take a while was him building up the courage to knock on your door. When he finally did, it took a few seconds for a familiar and curious gaze to appear from behind the door and look into his eyes.

“Hi Johnny, do you need anything?” You still didn’t open your door wide enough for him to see inside, just enough for your head to pop out. “Um-” he didn’t this through, he had no idea what he was going to saw, he just wanted to see you. “-I just noticed you were gone and came to check on you. Are you not having fun, you’re hiding away in your room?”

His heart rate picked up when he heard your quiet giggle, but then his heart rate spiked again once he found himself being pulled into your room, out of the crowded and loud hallway, and into a place that seemed forbidden, sacred even.

You and Junko’s room was cold, much colder than the rest of the dorms, and it was dark, except for the small lights in the shape of hockey pucks that were sat upon various surfaces around the room. There were a few things that stuck out to him, the show that was playing, Gilmore Girls, your closet door was open, and he could see several sweaters, mostly brown and green, and then the giant ball of yarn that was being turned into one of said sweaters.

“Which episode are you on?” You had sat back onto your bed while Johnny took in his new surroundings. “At this point Rory has already dropped out of Yale and is well in her process of having one of the worst character developments in the history of weekly television.”

You felt secure with Johnny and immediately cleared off a spot on your bed for him, you wanted him to be close to you. He smiled at you and climbed onto your bed after you got comfortable. 

A couple minutes of silence passed, you switched back and forth between watching the show and watching your crocheting, Johnny was just watching you though. He couldn’t keep it in. “You’re so pretty.”

Your eyes widened and you looked over at him not sure what to say. “Thank you, Johnny, you are too.”  

The little puck sized lights illuminated Johnny’s face, you felt your ears slightly perk when he licked his bottom lip, and soon enough you had leaned forward and planted your lips onto the older male’s.

He gasped but still pulled you closer. Johnny let himself indulge in you before he remembered that after this, he’d have to face the consequences. Your overheated body quickly cooled down when Johnny pushed you away. It felt like someone had stabbed you in the heart and twisted the knife, twisted the knife until you were nothing. This man, whom you only met in real life a month ago already had you so captivated in his presence.

You weren’t experienced in kissing whatsoever, but you could’ve sworn that he had kissed back, even just for a little bit.

Too upset to be embarrassed, you let out a childish whine and opened your mouth to ask him what the matter was. But before you could get another word or sound out, Johnny was already answering.

"Because you're just so young”, there it was, the knife being ripped out. Of course though, you didn’t see the problem. "But you said you liked me and thought I was pretty." 

"I do and you are, that still doesn’t stop me from hating the way I think about you sometimes, because it makes me feel just as bad as the men that send those perverted messages to you." Both grimacing at the mention of the messages, you still didn’t see the problem though. You liked that it was Johnny who felt that way about you. He wasn’t a stranger, he wasn’t gross, he wasn’t some old man watching your fancams while cumming onto their cell phone screens. He was Johnny.

You didn’t know for sure about that last thing, but even if he was like that, you’d be able to get past it because he was Johnny, "You're nothing like them Johnny, you have respect for me and like me for who I am."

"There are some thoughts I've had that haven't been so respectful." Johnny isn't looking at you anymore, too afraid to see your reaction at his words. He had moved from sitting up, to move down so he had room to lay on his back. Your ceiling had a skylight in it, so you were able to look up at the sky as you fell asleep, and you saw that was where Johnny’s eyes were as well.

You scooted over closer to him so you could lay on your stomach, half on him and half on the bed, while you took in his facial features you started drawing shapes across the wide span of his chest. At first, he tensed up, nervous to have you this close and control himself, but he quickly realized that this domestic position was peaceful. Then you asked the question he was dreading, all while looking at him with bedroom eyes. "Like what thoughts?" 

"Don't look at me like that Y/n." Respecting his wishes, you looked away from his face and casted down to view where your hand was placed on his chest. 

"It's fine Johnny, we wouldn't be able to do anything anyways." You were sitting up now with your legs hanging off the bed. Johnny placed his hand on your lower back and moved his thumb in circles. "I'm not trying to pry, but why do you say that?"

"I've never done it before, Johnny." Your head was hanging down, as if you were ashamed. And you were. You had just admitted to the man you desired that you were a virgin.

But for Johnny, his demeanor changed, he was feeling more protective and possessive over you. No way he was going to let Haechan touch you. The weight of the bed shifted as Johnny sat up halfway, you felt his large hand on your left hip. His touch burned your skin in the most wonderful way imaginable.

“Johnny” you whispered as you looked behind you and at him. His eyes were different this time around though, they showcased lust and a look that only could be explained as a predator looking at its prey. “What do you want sweetheart? Tell me what you want me to do.” Your mouth hung open, just slightly in surprise of what you were hearing.

Whimpering, you quietly requested the one thing that made Johnny truly snap completely, “I want you to fuck me, I want you to be my first.” You also wanted him to be your only, but you’d take him in any way you could get him.

His touch was removed from your side and the small fire he lit on your skin still burned hot with the way he was looking at you. He stood up from his spot and moved in front of you to bend down to your level. “If at any point you want me to stop or go even slower, just tell me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

You felt like you were unable to speak but when you just nodded, Johnny lightly but sharply tapped your thigh. The slap made you jump and the wet patch in your panties grow. “I’m going to need words sweetheart. Are you sure you still want to do this?” Johnny was looking right into you, seemingly into your soul. You remembered his rule and despite how dry your mouth felt, you managed to whisper out a yes.

“Good girl.” Johnny said as he kneeled on the bed, leaning over you. His lips ghosted yours and the gasp you let out caused Johnny to smile. And the smile didn’t go away when you leaned in to press your lips to his.

“Can I take off your clothes baby? Wanna see you, just for me.” You nodded and started taking off your shirt while he was talking. Johnny reached out and stopped you from doing anything else, he wanted to be the one to reveal your skin, of course after asking you if that was okay, which you eagerly nodded to.

With just your shirt off, there wasn’t much Johnny hadn’t seen. A lot of your stage outfits involved tiny shirts and big pants. It was when he took of your bra is when he saw something no one else had. Your tits bounced a bit from being unsupported but soon Johnny’s hands were kneading them and playing with your mounds.

As he pulled on your nipples, he pulled moan after moan out of your mouth. And he couldn’t wait to be inside of you. Johnny knew you had to be prepped so he removed your sleep shorts and panties and spread your legs for him. Showing Johnny your wet and shining cunt.

“You’re already so wet.” Johnny went to finger you but how much your pussy was already dripping surprised him. “You make me wet Johnny.” You gasped when he found your clit, refusing to leave the little bud alone.

The feeling of his fingers inside of you caused you to cum, much faster than you thought you were, and it made you a bit embarrassed, but when Johnny said, “Good girl, my good girl”, you felt a lot better. He got up from his spot between your legs and stripped in front of you. Your mouth watered as he removed each and everything covering him. You smiled a bit to yourself when he chuckled at you for staring, but he was back on the bed with his hand between your thighs in no time.

It only took a bit more for you to give Johnny the sign that you wanted him inside you, now. He nodded at you and reached into his discarded jeans pocket to pull of an aluminum foil package.

You watched with keen interest as Johnny ripped open the foil and rolled the rubber onto his hard dick, which you weren’t even sure was going to fit, he promised it would though, so you trusted him. Before pushing in Johnny covered his cock in your wetness as extra lube so he could save you as much pain as possible. It worked until he was all the way in, that’s when you spoke up.

You saw how thick the tip was and you struggled to stretch around it but it wasn’t until all of him was in you, every inch in length, and not to mention the girth.

"Johnny, it hurts, a lot." You winced and closed your eyes, trying to ignore the pain that was shooting through your lower half. To distract you, Johnny kept planting kisses along your neck and jaw, but after a particular loud whimper, Johnny connected your lips once again and seized all movement.  "I know Y/n, it'll stop soon."

Letting you try to adjust, Johnny just kept rubbing along your sides, trying to help you relax. “Just breathe. I’m right here, you’ll be okay, you’re safe.” The pain started to dissolve and form into need, while Johnny was still leaving marks along your neck, you were wanting Johnny to move.

Bucking your hips up into Johnny’s, you asked him to move. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” “Johnny just move please, I need you.” He nodded to himself and gave you one last kiss before he started thrusting in and out of you, slowly at first, wanting you to get used to the feeling of having him inside of you.

When he felt your hands move from their position clamped on his shoulders and roam south to explore the taunt muscles, he took that as the signal to move faster. When your moans started to get louder and become more frequent, Johnny spoke against your ear, "I know baby, I know.”

Johnny didn’t slow down though, he kept up his pace for a few seconds and then sped up, watching your breasts bounce with each thrust. Your eyes rolled back, and Johnny couldn’t stop. Not when you looked like this. Not when you were moaning this sweetly. Not when you were begging him for more and whining that you were going to cum.

“I’m gonna c-cum Johnny, please, don’t stop.” He smiled at the drool dribbling out of the right side of your gaped mouth, he bet your hole would look the same when he pulled out. He didn’t pull out until he came.

You came first but even with the sensitivity you let Johnny use your quivering hole until he was satisfied, after the please was mixed with pain, you clench so tight around his cock that he felt his own eyes roll back. Even then though, he just stayed in you, embracing the intimacy and warmth that was in the air.

When Johnny did pull out you shivered and kept your tight grip on his shoulders. He maneuvered you to be playing on your side, next to him on his back.

“Hey Johnny?” You broke the silence with a small murmur. His hand that was rubbing up and down your back, all while keeping you close kept moving along your spine as he asked if something was wrong.

“No, nothing’s wrong, I just, I was just wondering if this was it for us.” The laugh he let out caused your first feeling to be humiliation but then you heard his quiet chuckle die down and was replaced with his soothing deep voice.

“It might be hard to get our managers and companies to allow us to be together, but I can tell you that now that I’ve had you, I don’t think I’d ever be able to live without you again.” Although Johnny was quite pussy drunk, he still meant every word he said.

The smile your face made was uncontrollable and you hid it into his neck. You didn’t plan on moving but Johnny gently took your head and pulled it away from him. “Don’t hide that smile, its too pretty baby. All of you is so pretty, my pretty baby.”

When Johnny got up from beside you, your first instinct was to reach for him. “Don’t worry pretty, I’m not going anywhere. Just can’t get enough of you.” Johnny had your legs spread and laid between them, you looked down at him and tried to close your legs.

“What did I say? Don’t hide from me.” You nodded and whimpered when Johnny brought his nose to your heat, he inhaled through his nose, taking in your seedy scent. “Smells so good-” he stuck out his tongue and swiped it through your swollen cunt, “-tastes so good too. Fuck. Tastes better than my fucking wet dreams. Such a pretty girl, with such a pretty pussy.”

Johnny was rambling into your pussy; his breath and lips would tickle you and you gasped and whined. Finally getting pleasure from something other than your fingers was causing you to not get enough of it. You were sensitive but you want nothing more than Johnny to make you cum again.

Your hands fisted the bed sheets as your legs started shaking. “Please Johnny, I need you.” Johnny decided to not torture you tonight, so he gave into your pleas. When his tongue made contact with your clit you had to force yourself to not scream, you patted above your head, looking for something, anything to grab onto. Your wandering hand met one of your plushies and you used it to cover your face and to filter your moans.

Johnny moved his tongue to play with your entrance, it was pulsing, clenching around nothing, and you were wet, so wet. “Baby, you’re dripping on the bed.” You hated how you knew it was true. The feeling of it spilling in between your plush ass cheeks wasn’t pleasant. Johnny saw the mess and lifted your hips a bit, so he had access to that part of you. “Wha- Johnny” your head was thrown back and your toes curled. Johnny licked between you and up your ass, collected all the arousal and cum that had dripped there.

The heat of your cheeks was almost unbearable. You’ve never felt anything like this, and you couldn’t tell if you were too sensitive or if you were about to cum again.

 Johnny kept swiping his tongue along your folds, switching between playing with the bundle of nerves and licking your walls. You felt your body get even warmer and your sight went black for a second.

“Shh, it’s okay Y/n. I got you, you’re safe. It’s just me.” Johnny cooed into your ear and petted your head, brushing his fingers through your head, soothing you. Your cheeks were wet, and you asked Johnny what happened.

He kissed your temple before he answered. “You passed out for a second, are you okay? I’m really sorry if I hurt you.” “No! You didn’t hurt me Johnny, it felt really good!”. You started shaking your head and attempted to get up, only to be pushed back down. “It’s okay, you don’t have to get up. I’ll clean you up.” Johnny walked away but returned with a damp washcloth.

It was nearly impossible to keep your eyes open as Johnny ran the warm washcloth over your burning skin. It didn’t get any easier when he started massaging you, focusing on the spots that were tense and made you gasp.

Johnny made sure you were completely relaxed before he got comfortable next to you. “Johnny, I like you, so much.” He smiled at you slurred words, tired, both mentally and physically. “I’m glad, because I like you a lot too.” Johnny pulled you into him, your bare skin touching. He could hear you breathe, and he wanted to hear you breathe next to him for the rest of his life. Although he was tired as well, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, your shoulders weren’t tense, and your entire body was limp. You were comfortable, and you felt safe with Johnny.

i hate tumblr's mature review thing...no one can see i wanna be yours and it's fr depressing

supercut- johnny suh

genre: johnny x reader, childhood friends to ex-best friends to lovers, a little bit of angst and a lotttttt of nostalgia <3

summary: time escapes you and johnny- a supercut of bliss and naivete, all glittery and rosy, morphing and everchanging over the years- until your paths cross once more.

(for @lovesuhng <3)

Seventh Grade.

Johnny Suh. The Boy With the Eye Smile. Or at least that’s how you’re introduced to him by your mother the week before seventh grade. In an effort to not be bogged down by the remnants of summer sloth in your system, you and your mother wake for breakfast despite not needing to do so this early.  They’re a bit of a formality, the set plates and cutlery as if it isn’t just the two of you on a Wednesday morning, but it’s sort of sweet you suppose. The sun hasn’t even risen entirely and sleep matter still resides in your eyes. 

“You’ve seen him, right? He should be around the same age as you,” your mother asks, taking a bite of her nearly burnt eggs. And you had seen him, Johnny Suh, yesterday. Flying a kite with a few younger boys in the neighborhood, plump cheeks made more prominent from the width of his smile. You remember noting that you didn’t recognize him- you would’ve remembered. He’s a head taller than a majority of the kids, lanky and heart-achingly gentle. How pure, you had thought as you watched him through your kitchen window. 

His family just moved to the neighborhood, your mother tells you, and you nod as she recounts such. 

“So close to the school year,” you respond in a muffled voice. 

“If you see him at school, you should say hi. And don’t speak with food in your mouth, honey.” You swallow the bite of your pancake promptly, anxious for the school year ahead, picturing that poppy red kite fluttering in the sky.

Johnny Suh With the Eye Smile is popular, you discover. And charismatic. And smart. And somehow he’s all of these things on the first day of school (and without being a douchebag). The two of you share a language arts class where your desk is three rows behind him. You quickly become acquainted with the back of his head, burning a hole into it, infatuated with how his hair reminds you of dandelion fluff- the choppy fuzziness of it… the way he sways as though stirred by a summer breeze.

He’s the type of kid that raises his hand in class even when he doesn’t know the answer. He makes everyone laugh (even Olivia Wilson who is known to have a stick up her ass. You conclude she must have a crush on him, as do many other girls). Johnny gives your language arts teacher a high-five on the way out of class. Johnny is cool. 

It’s only the first day of school and kids are clamoring to sit next to Johnny in the cafeteria, attempting to wave him over to their respective tables like he’s a local celebrity.  But he keeps walking, in his JNCO jeans and Tony Hawk t-shirt, and instead sits next to you: the quiet kid sitting at the back of the cafeteria alone. As he does so, the cacophony of the students’ voices dissipates for just a second, your brain unable to register anything other than Johnny choosing to sit by you of all people.

He sets his bright blue lunch tray on your table, feigning nonchalance. 

“Hi,” Johnny says, lips pressed into a pouty line. He opens his carton of chocolate milk.

You acknowledge him with a jut of your chin, an attempt at looking cool, then realize you have to actually speak. “Hey.”

“I’m Johnny.” 

“I know.” You say, biting into your sandwich. How couldn’t you?

Johnny nods, immediately cutting to the chase. “Yeah. Uh- I think I saw you-”

As you eat, the sandwich gets lodged in your throat and you cough briefly, caught off guard by Johnny’s bluntness. “Where?” you ask.

“Peeking out the window at me through your blinds… When I was flying that kite.” Right, you think. So he did see you. The eye contact wasn’t a fever dream. 

Scanning his decidedly neutral face, you say, “Oh. Sorry,” and Johnny shrugs at you. 

“Just wanted to let you know it wasn’t… my kite. I’m too old for that,” he whispers. 

So he’s here to protect his street cred’? Hilarious. 

“No worries. I think it’s cool.”

“Cool?” 

“That you were helping the other boys.”

Johnny pauses, confused that your take on the situation is benign, and you see the faintest blush appear across his face. Maybe there’s more to him than meets the eye. You wonder if you’ll ever see him any more bashful than this.

“Well.. I’ll see ya around?” he asks.

“Sure.”

Then he gets up to attend to his clamoring friends, leaving you in his afterglow. 

When the final bell rings, you race out of school in hopes of catching up with Johnny. Finally, you had someone to walk home with, you thought. No need to take the long way to avoid your fear of crossing the street alone. 

You’re sure Johnny is fearless.

When you find him, talking in a circle of school boys by the flagpole, you wave meekly across the green. Johnny waves back, walking over to you when the other kids peel out.

“Hi neighbor.” Johnny says. 

“Wanna walk home together?” you ask, “I can show you a shortcut.”

“Sounds good.”

And the rest is history, really. It didn’t take much, in hindsight. Kids become friends so easily. In part, due to proximity, but there’s something to be said about the intuition of a middle schooler. A sort of magnetism that sparks up like a struck match. Instant fire that burns hot and fast. That warms you from the inside out. In your chest, then your face, your gut… until it spreads to your fingertips.

Johnny is your neighbor. Then walking buddy. Classmate. Friend. Until one day, you realize he’s your best friend.

Freshman Year.

“-and then Johnny said I should dye a few streaks of my hair red because it would make me look edgy and I could walk to the skatepark with him- the one at the underpass a few blocks away- because I’d look super cool. Like Avril Levigne.” you ramble to your mother in one breath, like the words are involuntarily tumbling out of your mouth. Another summer has come and gone. You’re a little older, slightly wiser, but buoyant with youth. Knees in a perpetual state of bouncing, hormones in a perpetual state of chaos… It’s a week before your freshman year of high-school.

“Would you jump off a cliff if Johnny said you’d look super cool?” your mom asks in jest, feigning the artificial vocal fry you’ve adopted this month (a phase your mother hopes ends soon). 

You groan, teenage attitude not completely in check quite yet. “Of course not, Mom.” Well, maybe. If you had a parachute-

Shaking her head, your mother says, “Just saying, that boy is all you talk about these days.” 

She calls him “that boy” as if he isn’t at your place almost everyday. The only reason he’s not here now is because his family is on vacation. You make a mental note to text him.

“That’s not true.” It’s mostly true. But he’s your best friend. Aren’t you supposed to talk about them all the time?

Your mother pivots. “How do you feel about starting high-school?”

Contemplating on the question a bit, you shrug. “How should I feel?”

“I don’t know. That’s for you to decide,” she says sweetly, voice lilting with amusement.

“I think I’m excited.” You and Johnny had already put in your requests to have lockers next to one another. With him, you feel like you could brave the world. “Not nervous or anything.”

“Well, that’s good. Why is that?” she presses. 

Because I have Johnny, you think.

In the week leading up to your freshman year of highschool begins, you get braces. It hurts like hell, but you manage to get out of bed and meet Johnny at the neighborhood park, like you usually do, when he returns from vacation.

“Did it, like, hurt a lot?” Johnny asks you. You’re holding a bag of ice against your cheek.

The numbing has long since worn off, but the pain couldn’t nearly deter you from seeing Johnny in the flesh- his smile giving you energy just like it did all those years ago. A whole week without him… How you survived, you’re not sure. When your peers wondered why Johnny wasn't around, they went to you first. A known pair, you two, and the thought of such makes your heart swell with pride.

In a slurred fuss, you say, “What do you think, genius?” 

“Point taken. I thought I’d ask anyway.”

“Asshole,” you mumble. 

Johnny quirks an eyebrow, then says, “Are you, like, gonna be hot after you get your braces off?”

“Johnny, what are you even talking about right now?”

“Like the whole makeover montage in Princess Diaries. You should get contacts too.” You push your glasses up higher on your nose bridge. He’s joking but your chest constricts regardless. Johnny thinks you have the potential to be hot.

“Fuck you,” you say, your own laugh betraying the intended bite of your tone.

Johnny scoffs. “You wish.”

“Ew! Gross.”

“You’re blushing!” Johnny teases, and you jump off the swing in mid-air, giggling as you chase one another around the park like school children. 

Junior Year.

Johnny with the Eye Smile is your best friend and you love him, but you kind of hate him right now. Like, you want to punch him in the face and then kiss it better and then punch him again- the kind of hatred that makes your heart beat in your ears. But the hatred is fickle, a weak flame that dissipates as quickly as it flares up, as Johnny recounts his first kiss. He looks so giddy- an emotion you haven’t seen him wear often throughout the course of your friendship. 

Time escapes you and, before you know it, your junior year of highschool is coming to a close. Instead of being lost in summer’s wake, you’re confronted with its onslaught- the open-endedness of its impending descent…

You’re actually surprised it’s taken this long for Johnny to muster up the courage to kiss someone. There’s a long list of people you know for a fact would’ve loved to do so. Now, Johnny’s sitting on your bed, staring at the tapestries strewn to your ceiling, your room smelling of lavender and peeled oranges. You’re trying to tune him out, but his nervous hands demand your attention, fiddling fingers dancing across his abdomen like he’s playing the piano. You’ve never seen him like this. Not since the faintest blush graced his cheeks in the cafeteria on the day you met. And over a kite no less. This… this was serious. 

Johnny kissed someone. And it wasn’t you.

Johnny tsks. “I didn’t even think Olivia liked me-” he confesses.

“Wait. Olivia Wilson? From middle school? You kissed Olivia Wilson?”

“Why are you saying it like that?” Johnny asks with a furrow of his brow. Unbeknownst to you, you’re mirroring his confused expression.

“Saying it like what?”

He drags his hands over his face, sighing. “Like it’s hard to believe.” 

“No, I just meant… Olivia is…” you search for a word. Any word. “-cool.” She’s a blonde cheerleader who’s slated to be the class salutatorian at the very least, valedictorian if she really applies herself. She bakes cookies and keeps them in her car for when she encounters homeless people and tutors for kids free on the weekends. 

You hate her.

Your stomach lurches at the thought of her cradling Johnny’s face and you can almost smell her perfume- notes of licorice infiltrating your nostrils while you scrunch your nose. 

“Was it good? The kiss, I mean,” you practically wince out. 

“I think so,” Johnny says. “We, like, made out for a while. Then I drove her home and she kissed me again.”

“Wow.” What a lame thing to say, you think, but it’s the prevailing word at the front of your brain. Wow, Johnny really likes her. Wow, they’d look really good together. Wow, he kissed someone and it wasn’t you. 

“Yeah, wow.”

And you’re not sure what, but something green and molten bubbles up inside of you, uncontrollable and vicious, burning at the apex of your chest. “Well actually,” you start, prompting Johnny to look you in the eye, “I thought I saw her kissing Daniel Choi… the other week. After cheer practice.” A total lie that escapes you for whatever reason. “You know how athletics comes back to school a little earlier to train? I was, like, driving around and saw them, I think.”

His smile drops instantly. He believes you, because why wouldn’t he, and you want to take it all back. You want to say, “It’s a joke!” and hear that belly laugh of his, but the words never leave you. You just… can’t. 

It’s junior year, you reason with yourself. Nearly the summer before your senior year. You need him. You need this- whatever this is. 

“Wait, really?” Johnny asks. 

“She didn’t tell you?” you say, feigning shock. This is awful. You feel awful.

“No…” Johnny grows quiet. 

“It’s probably not serious,” you backtrack. “You know Daniel-”

“Whatever. Wanna drive around and listen to music?” Johnny grabs his keys in a rage before you can even answer.

You follow him out of your room wordlessly, a layer of sweat forming on your forehead, feeling relieved that you don’t have to talk about that God forsaken kiss anymore. The smell of licorice fades and instead you bask in Johnny’s musky vanilla. 

The illusion of serenity lasts one tortuous week.

“Hey, what the fuck, _______?” Johnny slams your locker shut in lieu of a greeting. The sound sends shockwaves through your body. 

The locker in front of which Johnny greets you everyday, eye-smile melting your heart a little more each time you see it. The locker inside which you’ve taped a polaroid of the two of you. The locker you two shared when Johnny forgot a sandwich in his and the stench of mold made it unusable. Your locker.

You lean against it, bracing for impact. Ready to double down. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem? Daniel said he’s never even spoken to Olivia, _______. She was gonna ask me to prom… I yelled at her last week.”

“I must’ve made a mistake, Johnny.” 

He fumes, nearly dry heaving as your words hit his ears. 

Then, softly, you say, “We can go to prom together.” You pick at the skin on your fingers, averting your gaze to anywhere but Johnny’s face- a tell of yours that Johnny knows all too well. In your periphery, you see he’s bright red.

“Are you seriously lying to me right now?”

“Johnny. You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah. So tell me the truth.”

Your voice is barely about a whisper. “Olivia isn’t even your type…”

“Goodbye, _________,” Johnny says, devoid of any levity or lightness. His eyes are impossibly dark. A part of you thinks he’ll turn around, or meet you on the swingset later that day. And you wait there, keep your bedroom window open and check your phone obsessively, but he never comes. 

Johnny goes to Senior prom with Olivia Wilson the following year. 

Beyond.

You’re older now, much wiser, and far away from teenagedom. In fact, your teen years are a distant memory, so far removed that only the best parts of them appear in your daydreams- a supercut of bliss and naivete… glittery and rosy. 

You’re teleported back to the swingset where you’d talk to Johnny until the moon came out. To the tree under which you saw him fly that poppy red kite. To the porch where you finally had your first kiss after falling out with Johnny. 

To the dining table where you’d share pancakes with your mother.

You’re home for the holidays, back in Chicago, and your house smells of cinnamon and vanilla. The nostalgia comes in vicious waves- choppy, foamy and salty. Tear stained cheeks on random afternoons. Then in gentle, comforting ones that lull you to sleep like a lullaby. 

Being back in town after graduating college makes your bones feel weird. The way you move around your home now is less intuitive. It’s more like walking through a museum, fingers aching to graze the artifacts of your youth. Photos faded with a thin layer of dust, participation ribbons from Little League, old school uniforms tucked away in boxes.

“Mom!” you call out to her from upstairs, “Do you think I still have my highschool yearbook here?”

“Yes, it’s with my scrapbooking supplies in the craft room.”

You practically bolt there, settling on the floor once you’ve located the blue book, flipping frantically until you find Johnny’s picture. 

Your best friend with the fluffy dandelion hair and soft demeanor. His senior photo is slightly faded from how often you used to thumb through the yearbook.

You remember loving him from a distance after that ill-fated day, the abruptness of the friendship’s end too much for you to handle. So you took the scraps. The wayward glances from Johnny, the check-ins from his mom, when he accidentally sent his graduation party invitation in the mail… The two of you co-existed, parallel to one another but never intersecting- in stark contrast to how intertwined you once were. Your chest aches at the memory.

“________, my love, can you come downstairs for a sec?” your mother calls distantly. You close the yearbook solemnly and make your way down. “Can you run to the grocery store for me?” she asks. “We’re out of eggs.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Shrugging on a coat and putting on another pair of socks, you prepare to brave the elements. You decide to take the train, so you can admire the winter wonderland outside. When you don’t think about how much of an inconvenience the snow is, it’s beautiful- the untouched banks on the side of the road, all pristine and crystalline. 

The mounds sparkle and crunch beneath you as your trod to the station, which luckily is a quick walk from your place. The city whips past you, a blur of sleek skyscrapers contrasted against graffiti buildings, and you’re at the bodega before you know it. 

Quickly, you locate the eggs, placing them in your basket, and scour the little corner store for a few more goodies. As you reach for a box of instant hot cocoa, you feel someone materialize next to you. The stasis of the store would have it seem this city’s a ghost town, though Chicago is far from one, but the person startles you regardless. You jump back a bit, muttering a half-hearted, “Excuse me,” before realizing you know him. There’s no way…

“Oh, sorry-” Johnny comes to the realization at the same time you do, retracting his hand from the box. 

Your hand is frozen in space, eyes scanning his form to make sure he’s real. His hair is short with blonde highlights and his glasses are massive, giving him a cartoonish look. His puffer jacket is also massive, all bundled up and pillowy like a marshmallow.

You smile to yourself briefly, before sputtering, “How long has it been?”

Without missing a beat, Johnny says, “Six years.” Has he been counting?

“You look like the Michelin Man with glasses,” you say.

Johnny chortles. “You got your braces off.”

“Am I finally hot?” you joke, “like in Princess Diaries?” 

And it’s probably from the cold, but you swear Johnny blushes as he shrugs and says, “Jury’s still out on that one.”

“Here,” you start, getting back to the task at hand, “lemme grab that for you.” You pick up two boxes of the hot cocoa mix and place them in your basket. 

“You don’t have to-” Johnny stammers, shaking his head.

“It’s the least I can do.” (-which is probably an understatement.) 

The two of you walk to the cash register where you buy both his and your items.

“Is this all you came out for?” you ask Johnny.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Clearing your throat, you force out your next question, the voice that squeaks out of you sounding foreign. “Where ya heading- if you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“Nowhere fast. I drove here actually. What about you?”

“Train.”

“Cool…”  

Would you jump off a cliff if Johnny said you’d look super cool?

Johnny rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet, waiting for you to break the silence. You oblige him. “Well, it was nice seeing you Johnny. Happy holidays.” you start to walk in the opposite direction, until Johnny says-

“Actually- wanna go to the park?”

—

“This is soooo weird,” you chuckle as you swing back and forth, the nippy air feeling like a thousand cuts on your face. Your nostrils burn with each inhale, and the run-off of slightly melted snow trickles as it moves down the hill.

“Being back here?” Johnny’s voice is close, then distant, then close again, as he swings alongside (and much higher than) you.

“Yeah, it’s like I just stepped into a time machine.” And it’s true- you feel like that kid whispering about the new kid over pancakes. His fingertips are bright red.

“Except you were spying on me from your bedroom window,” Johnny scoffs.

You groan. “I explained a thousand times that I was just-”

“Just because you explain something, it doesn’t make it less creepy! And-”

“-making sure the kite didn’t get stuck in a tree.” you shout over his accusations, cheeks hurting from how hard you’re smiling.

Johnny shakes his head, heaving from his laughter. “Your ‘explanation’ is total bullshit, by the way.” 

You sigh. “Guess I’m never living that down.”

When the both of you settle, sitting on the swings instead of kicking back and forth, you take a moment to drink up Johnny’s features. He’s even taller, somehow, lankiness morphed into dashing height. Awkwardness morphed into a charming stride. Eye-smile morphed into a blinding grin.

Your mind is racing. You have so much you want to say to him. So much to ask. Six years… where does the time go?

“You’ll never guess who I had my first kiss with in Ju” you giggle at yourself because, of all things, you can’t believe that’s what you decide on. Regardless, it’s a funny story. 

Again, Johnny scoffs. “Daniel Choi, right?”

“Wait, who told you that!?”

“He was bragging about it for three weeks. I nearly punched the guy.”

The two of you weren’t even friends at that point.

“You’re ridiculous!”

More silence falls over you, draping itself densely over your shoulders- stasis from how sheerly overwhelmed you are at the words on the tip of your tongue. You feel Johnny’s anxiety too, it radiating in waves off of him, but it’s not awkward. The two of you wade in the stillness, slight movements yanking on the bars of their metaphorical enclosure. Your sniffling, twitching nose. Fidgeting fingers. Johnny’s bouncing knees and pounding heart.

That is, until the silence is no more- Johnny just barely breaching it by saying, “It should’ve been me. I should’ve kissed you.” 

Then he stands before you, grasping the swing chains just above where you’re holding them and effectively envelopes you in his warmth. Johnny’s proximity makes you shudder and you look up at him, eyes as bright as they were when he was younger.

“I could’ve been.” Then, in a hushed voice, you add, “It can be.”

Then, as he grasps your face with his ice cold hands, Johnny places a kiss on the corner of your mouth. You giggle into it, the clunkiness and trepidation, then recapture his lips in a real kiss. This kiss is all encompassing, your entire face ablaze while you deepen it, your lips yearning for and experiencing lost time in a confusing clamoring. You’re practically clawing at Johnny up until the point of you pulling away for air.

Johnny scans your face, smirking at the way you’re panting. “You are kinda hot without the braces,” he says.

“You’re actually the worst.”

And, yet again, he shrugs. “Okay, but you love it though.”

“I guess…”

As you lean in for another kiss, you hear a scream. When you whip your head around, you giggle at the sight:

A kiddo on the other side of the playground flying a poppy red kite in the dead of winter.

a/n: unedited and feedback is always appreciated! <3

Call me baby like before

Paring: johnny suh x fem! reader

Genre: smut, Exs to lovers, collage au

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀:frat boy ex Johnny! Smut, kissing, moaning, fingering, public sex(hot tub) IM SORRY, begging, degration, dom johnny,sub reader, hair pulling

Summary: you and Johnny broke up 5 months ago and hasn’t seen each other since the break up until there’s a pool party hosted by his a fraternity you and your best friend haechan go there just to have fun but you went there for and fun until you found another reason to go

A/N: this is my first post and I’m really nervous if I misspelled something please contact me!!!! And also if this goes well I’ll do more stories about nct and other groups and here’s my inspiration kinda😅

ENJOYYY:)

“Haechan what if he’s there?!” You yell to your best friend “then ignore him and have a good time” he says as he drags you to the car while the others are waiting for you two. You, haechan, Yuta, doyoung, taeyong are all going to the pool party together as friends. You hear the horn beep several times until a random person addresses the sound as you and haechan runs to the car “took you assholes long enough” Yuta says “we were about to leave your asses” doyoung says

“ anyways we have to make one stop before we go to the party” while doyoung and Yuta were in the store getting the beer together you and taeyong and haechan were in the car on your phones

You were looking through insta until you say a specific story on insta was a taeil and jaehyun taking a photo until you spotted Johnny in the back kissing a girl

Haechan saw your face frown so he took your phone “don’t worry about him have some fun” haechan said he was trying to make you feel better he pulls you into a hug and you start to smile and feel better

When doyoung and Yuta came back with the beers it was time to go

You guys made it to the party on time and decided to split up when you guys go inside and go have fun and get drunk, you had on a red bikini with a transparent cover up to make you look sexy and ready to have fun you and haechan have fun together and jump in the pool together,You guys have fun and enjoy the party and while you guys we’re having fun you met a cute guy named mark haechan winks at you and starts to blend in with the crowd at the party,

you and mark starts talking and you feel like your being watched by someone and starts to feel awkward so you tell mark that your going to the bathroom and you’ll be right back, while walking to the bathroom you hear footsteps behind you but brushes it off, when you come back you and mark starts talking again until you wanted another drink you told mark and he said he’ll wait until you come back again when you went inside the loud house to get some drinks for you and mark you still felt like you were being watched and so you hurried to go get the drinks you make it to the kitchen where all the drinks were and grabbed to beers out the fridge until you felt someone behind you turned around to see your ex Johnny fucking suh, “missed me baby?”

His gaze making you feel small under him you try to push him away but he’s to strong “no I haven’t now move” you say but he doesn’t budge at all instead he moves closer to you making you feel his breath in your ear “you know you miss me I’ve been looking at you all night and you’re not even interested in poor mark” wide eyes you look at him face redder than a tomato “ I-i don’t know what your talk about” you say stuttering “oh yes you do baby you know your still interested in me” he holds your chin with his finger to make you look him in the eyes “so why are you lying baby?”.

You try to push him away again but he doesn’t move a bit still after a few minutes has passed he takes your hand in his and leads you outside again and going in the hot tub this time and marks sees this and you give him a sorry look and he gives you a it’s ok look and goes inside to go talk to haechan and his other friends “aww looks like he’s gone” when you and Johnny get in the hot tub your sitting on his lap facing from him you can feel his cock getting hard under the water “so you like dressing up as a slut” he says while playing with the hem of your bikini, he slides your bikini bottom over to reach your cunt you where already wet from earlier and while walking to the hot tub, he slips two fingers inside your cunt and starts fingering you, you gasp from the contact trying your best to hold your moan in biting your lip very hard to stop it

He starts kissing your sensitive spot on your neck that he likes he knew how to please you and knew how to get you on your knees quickly so it didn’t take him that long from hitting your sweet spot in your cunt he hits it repeatedly and you let a out a small moan saying his name “j-johnny” “you like that” he said your orgasm was about to come until he stopped feeling emptiness in your cunt you whine until he takes his fully hard cock out and slightly lifts you up and starts pulling you down until he’s fully in you, you moan from this earning a few stares until Johnny pinched you to be quiet and take his cock

He starts off slow until a random group got in with you guys so Johnny pulls out of and you whimper “get up and follow me upstairs” you follow his orders and you guy make up stairs it was a little more quiet than downstairs and outside Johnny pushes you on the bed and takes off his swimming trunks quickly and throw them behind him he takes your bottom of and throws it on the floor, he pushes himself inside you he grunts your name when he was fully inside “y-y/n” he was trying his best not to cum right there and then he’s been inside you multiple times and you were still so tight, he starts at a slow pace then speeds up his pace “j-johnny fuck me!” You cry out you can feel your orgasm approaching, you start clenching around him until “f-fuck y/n” he says he’s almost there too but he wanted you to cum first he starts speeding up his pace more and your orgasm finally comes and you cum over his cock he’s still going until he reaches his high and cums in you

He pulls out of you and goes to his bathroom to clean you up after your clean, he goes to take a shower the party ended 2 hours ago you got a message from haechan “HURRY UP” you texted him that you were with Johnny and was going stay the night after he got out the shower he laid next to you and while you were drifting off to sleep

“ I love you Johnny” you mumbled he chuckled under his breath “I love you too y/n” “promise me we will be together forever and call me baby like before

By: kpopcafeeee

Tbh I’m starting to question my health 🤧😂

Who’s the boss-Johnny

Preview

This is for kinktober!!!

Pairing: dilf! Married! Johnny x model! fem! Reader

Warnings: dilf! And married Johnny and young y/n but is a legal age , cheating, smut, degration, chocking, hair pulling, messy sloppy kissing, moaning, size kink. That’s all you guys😉

Summary: your an intern that just started working at a popular modeling agency and your CEO is the hottest guy there and he knows it everyone knows it, he is the talk of the company and every woman’s after him but he only wants one person and it’s not his wife it’s you

I have a suggestion I can post nct 127 and stray kids Halloween storys with some kinktobers and post the Halloween themed ones on Halloween?

Who’s the boss?- Johnny

Pairing: dilf! Married! Johnny x model! fem! Reader

Warnings: dilf! And married Johnny and young y/n but is a legal age , cheating, smut, degration, chocking, hair pulling, messy sloppy kissing, moaning, size kink, car sex. That’s all you guys😉

Summary: your an intern that just started working at a popular modeling agency and your CEO is the hottest guy there and he knows it everyone knows it, he is the talk of the company and every woman’s after him but he only wants one person and it’s not his wife it’s you

A/N: since you guys wanted kinktober I will be doing them all week and all weekend if I can I I’m sorry if I don’t do all but at least and so-hee is Johnnys wife IM SORRY but karina is your model buddy it’s not the best BUT yeah enjoy the story

Enjoy the story ^u^

it’s you 1st day and you already made a model buddy you guys are in break room with two other models that is talking about you guys boss/CEO

“He’s so fine” your coworker said while smiling and putting lipstick on “i want to be the mother of his children” your other coworker said then Karina joined in “I would give that man eight children if I could” she said while biting her lip, then donghyuck and yuta walked “ too bad ladies he’s married to the beautifulest woman I ever seen” donghyuck said while making his coffee “ but I’m single” he winked “ugh as if Lee donghyuck” your coworker said while scoffing and walking out heels clacking on the floor “rather be with Yuta than you sorry” your other coworker said while walking out after “how about you ladies?, wanna go out to the bar with us after the photo shoots?” Yuta said while raising a eyebrow “sure you in?” Karina said looking at you smiling and winking “s-sure i guess” you said nervously “ok see you at the bar then” Yuta said while winking and walking away with jealous donghyuck.

While walking out you bow and greet everyone until your stopped by a certain person “ you must be new?” Johnny said “yes sir” you said while looking down “ I thought so because If you weren’t i think I would remember a pretty face like that” he said while winking and walking away with people following after him leaving you flustered , is he really married and if he is why is he flirting with you? You just stopped thinking about it and got bakc to your photo shoot.

You wore a black dress that showed a little bit of cleavage but it was appropriate when you arrived at the bar you looked around for them and your eyes landed on them but there was more people at the table that you couldn’t see that well so when you sat down there were people you did the a photo shoot with and some of the staff but the one you were really shocked to see was your ceo being what is a married man doing here doesn’t he has a child to look after for? You stopped thinking about when Karina handed you a beer for whole entire night Johnny was staring at you from across the table you guys were sitting at, the night ended when haechan was to drunk that he couldn’t take his self home so Karina and Yuta had to take him home and Karina was your only ride back to your house since you drove here in cab instead of your car incase you got too drunk that you couldn’t drive home she would drive you home since she didn’t drink that much, so when she left with Yuta and haechan you were surprised and betrayed

So when Johnny offered you a ride home you couldn’t say no cause you couldn’t sleep at a bar, you only live a few minutes away from his house so it wouldn’t take that long so you said yes

When you got in the car and he started driving it felt like it’s been an hour and the tension was comfortable and awkward “Pretty dress” he said while looking at the road then you for a quick second “thank you sir” you said quietly, when you arrived in your drive way you about to get out when Johnny locked the car door on you “um s-sir” you said looking at him with nervous eyes “could meet me in my office tomorrow?” He said looking at you with one eyebrow raised “sir can I ask why?” You said curious on why and kinda thought it was for something else “your gonna do a photo shoot with haechan next week, is that ok?” He said looking concerned cause he knew what haechan was like “it’s fine sir” you said with a smile to tell let him know that your fine “oh well see you tomorrow” he said with a wink “see you tomorrow sir” you said flustered

At first it was just mindless flirting until it turned into you staying late after photo shoots because Johnny wanted to let you look at the pictures to see if they were ok and Johnny sometimes watching you while you do your photo shoots til after a certain photo shoot

“Hey y/n Johnny said he needs you to stay little longer for you to pick the pictures from the photo shoot we should use” one of the staffs said to you “oh ok” you said smiling at the staff and waving goodbye, why did Johnny wanted you to stay after all the pictures were great did you have something in you teeth?, or did you pose at the wrong time, whatever it was had you worrying and sweating bullets until you calmed yourself down

so after some staffs left while some were still in the building working on other’s pictures, you went to his office to see what was wrong and when you got there you were welcomed in by his assistant “sir y/n is here” the assistant said with a smile “thank you, you can leave know” he said with a serious and not serious tone, after his assistant left you asked “if you don’t mind where’s the pictures you wanted me to see?” You said with your head leaning right a little like a confused expression “they’re are no pictures but there is something I want you to do” he said getting out of his chair and walking up to you faces only inches away “could you be a good girl and help me out” he said towering over you with a smirk on his face, you nodded “I need a answer doll” he said in a serious tone he looked like he was going to devour right then and there “y-yes sir” you said looking up at him “good girl” he said with a smirk while putting your legs around his waist and picking you up and moving papers and flies to get you sited on his desk and when you got his desk you met by a kiss he then pushed you closer to him on his desk and putting your legs back on his waist, while you let his tongue roam your mouth until he pulled away from the kiss and started to rip your clothes off one by one until you were in your underwear

He then started to devour you again but he went for neck this time, your clothed cunt was rubbing against his erection, he sucked on every weak spot on your neck until It was bruised, he then moved your panties to the side and stuck one finger into your wet cunt “s-sir” you moaned out “shh baby don’t get to loud now there’s still people here be a good girl and be quiet for me” he said with a smirk he then went back to sucking in your neck and plunging his finger in and out of you “fuck I love it when you call me sir baby” he said against your neck, he then stuck another in your sopping cunt he then picked up the pace and you were almost at your climax until he stopped and removed his finger from out of you, you whined

“sorry baby but I want you to cum on my cock” he said while unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down along with his boxers

WOW he was bigger than anyone you slept with before you wanted to taste him but he had other plans, he then slowly and cautiously out his cock in your tight cunt after he was balls deep he looked at you to see if you were ok “fuck your so tight for me” he said while groaning, you were biting back a moan from coming out he then started to go slow until he sped his pace hips hitting your thighs while he groaned he then placed his thumb on your clit and that got you going crazy he sped up his pace to a inhuman pace that you could hear skin to skin and broken moans and groans coming from his office, “s-sir I’m gonna cum” you said eyes rolling to the back of your skull he being started to rub your clit faster and rutting into you faster and that sent you over board making you cum and clenched around his cock “s-shit” he says while cumming he then pulled out of making half of his cum spill out of you and he goes to grab tissues to clean you up that was in his desk drawer he then lifts you off the desk and it takes you a few minutes to stand and walk to get your scattered clothes every

“doll I just got one more question” he said to you after you pulled up your pencil skirt “yes sir” you said “who’s the boss?”

THE END

It’s not the best IM SORRY:(

By:kpopcafeeee

Hi!!

Could you do a smut oneshot of Johnny been a tutor of any subject to help yn(if you could do her as chubby/curvy would be great, but if not is ok), and they have moments of a lot of sexual tension so one day johnny just says “if you do it correctly i’ll buy you a sofa but it you get it incorrect i can give you a kiss”, and yn does it incorrectly so they kiss and they start making out.

Sorry about all the details

Thanks

New sofa

Paring: tutor!Johnny suh x chubby fem! Reader

Genre: tutoring au, smut, fluff, one shot

Warnings: smut, kissing, cussing, biting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it people!), one sex scene, degration, oral sex (fem receiving), Johnny loves ass in this story! (No anal tho sorry!), dumbfication, pet names for y/n= baby, y/n calls him sir

Summary: you and your tutor have some sexual tension and need to you get rid of it so Johnny came up with the best idea in his brain.

A/N: when I saw this I was so shocked and I was so happy too I love when people request things but this is a one shot so have fun and enjoy this!!! (Don’t shoot me if it’s bad pls😅)

MDNI 18+ only

You and your tutor have had a lot of tension in the room since the last incident that ended up with an awkward Johnny and you making a c+ on your math test. So when Johnny decided to help you again it was a relief from what happened.

“I’m on way with the textbook now” he says as he hops in the and starts to drive to your apartment complex, “okay see you later” you say smiling like a puppy in love.

When he arrived at your place with a textbooks in his hand, you smiled “hey” you said “hi” he said as he walked past you to your living room, placing his textbooks down on the coffee table and sitting on your sofa that you desperately needed to get out of the apartment.

“So what did you make on the test?” He asks “I made c+ if that’s okay” you say nervously “that’s perfectly fine at least you didn’t make F” he says reassuring you that it was okay. “Well let’s get started shall we?” He said rubbing his Hand Together “right” you say chuckling.

20 minutes into studying you almost gave up “y/n that is not” he says smirking and erasing your mistakes and redoing it correctly, “this is how you do it” he says seeing how you wasn’t paying attention.

“Well since you think you know everything Mr.suh how about you do my test then” you say sitting back on the couch and rolling your eyes “well Mrs.y/l/n I can’t now pay attention” he says making you roll your eyes again.

“I have an idea” he says looking at you “what is it?” You say raising your eyebrow at his now mischievous smile “if you get this answer right I will take you to buy the sofa you always wanted but you couldn’t get but-“ he says “but what?” You say confused “if you get it incorrectly I can give you a kiss” he says “su-“ you but before you can even get the word out he says “if you want too” he says like lightning. You chuckle at his suggestion “yeah” is all you say before you get to solving the problem.

You wanted to get it the question wrong for some reasoning and you couldn’t get the thought of Johnny on top of you making out with you.

You get done with the problem, Johnny grabs the paper to check to see if it’s right or wrong and when he’s done checking the paper he tells you it’s wrong.

“You answered incorrectly baby” Johnny says before pulling you into a kiss that eventually turns heated, with johnny on top of you “s-shit baby” he says pulling away from the kiss”s-sir” you say whimpering making you more wetter than you were before.

“Shhhh let me take care of you” he said while sliding down to your heat “dam baby you leaking through your shorts” he said smirking knowing he caused this to happen, pulling down your shorts along with your panties. you whimper when the cold air of your apartment hits your cunt, “mmm let’s see if your pussy sweeter than your perfume” he says looking up at you like a deprived man.

He dives into your heat eating you out like a starved man sucking on your clit, you were a whimpering mess “s-shit s-sir” you say whimpering, grabbing his hair making him groan sending vibrations to your clit, his tongue coming close to your pulsing heat, sticking his tongue in and out of your heat. “I-I’m gonna cum” you say squirming around.

“Cum on my tongue then baby” he says stuffing his face back into your heat sucking fast while rubbing his raging hard boner on your couch to get himself off “f-fuck I’m cumming” you say cumming around his tongue, while riding out your high and turning your brain into mush.

“F-fuck” he says sit upright on the couch your cum glistening on his chin, pulling down his jeans to let his rock hard cock out and jerking off tilting his head up and turning his head to you “wanna ride?” He says licking his lips “mhm sir” you say like a bitch in heat “then come sit on my lap baby” he said patting his lap.

Sitting on his lap and holding his cock above your soaking cunt and putting sliding it into your cunt “s-shit baby” he says tilting his head back against the couch “mmm f-fuck sir” you say rocking your hips against his pelvis. Slapping your ass and groping it “love this ass” he says against your neck, hair sticking to his forehead. Speeding up your pace “s-shit baby” he says biting the space between your neck.

whimpering so loud that anyone by the door can hear and can tell what’s going on. Johnny groans “I’m going to cum baby cum with me” he says rubbing the ball of nerves on your clit harshly “f-fuck sir mmm” you say whimpering kissing him harshly before feeling a familiar knot growing quickly in your lower stomach “d-dam baby I’m gonna cum” you say “cum on my cock then baby” he says fucking up into “s-shit” he says cumming painting your walls white cum mixing with your cum. while you fall limp against him.

You sigh “you’re still buying me a new sofa right?” You say tiredly against his neck he chuckles “sure baby” he say smiling at how cute you were

JOHNNY SUH (서영호) — FRIENDS

(DRABBLE) ✧.* MINORS DNI (18+)

JOHNNY SUH was completely, utterly lost. he was lost in it, in you, in the sensation of you. he was lost in the way you milked him dry, giving him the perfect view of your tits bouncing in his face as you pressed your palms against the wall in front of you , leaning forward with your back arched as you met his pace with swift, harsh bounces with a cigarette in your mouth. he was lost in the way you moaned his name, begging him to go harder, faster before whispering sweet nothings into his ear to push him off the edge. “tearing my pussy open, fuck,” you purred, your breath hot against his ear as the tip of your tongue danced alongside his earlobe, voice muffled with the filter between your lips. “fuck me so good, gonna make me squirt all over this dick.”

he was absolutely lost in it, letting himself absorb the sheer filth of it all. he allowed himself those few minutes of escape, of temporary pleasure. his hands groped the flesh of your tits, squeezing the soft skin and probing at your sensitive nipples. his mind was a mess as his hands slid down your waist before stopping at your hips, cupping your ass. he leaned forward to take your tit into his mouth, letting the other one collide with his cheek as he sucked around your nipple. his hands spanked the soft of your ass, his thumb coming down to probe at your tight, sensitive asshole. he’d never fully push it in, he’d just keep it there long enough to hear you moan some more, to feel you clench around nothing but his fingernail.

“you’re so pretty,” the praise would always come through before johnny could stop himself, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste as they passed his lips. he hated himself for speaking his thoughts aloud, even if it wasn’t intentional. he hated himself even more when you didn’t respond, flashing him a mere smile in response. you were too lost in what he had to offer, your cunt clenching around his dick as you leaned forward to press your lips to his. you placed a single kiss to his lips, enough to give him a taste of the smoke. you pulled away to press the filter to his lips, watching with hungry eyes as he took a long drag.

it was his favorite part, kissing you. it felt more intimate than the sex itself. he didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, he’d always give in one way or another. his lips clashed with yours, melting against them as he cupped your cheek. he exhaled, blowing the smoke into your mouth as his tongue traced your bottom lip. you kissed him with desire, hunger, all the while he kissed you as if you were fragile, like you were on the verge of breaking. “your dick’s so fucking big, ’m close,” you whined, breaking the kiss to press your forehead against his.

he was just as close, thrusting upwards to match your speed. he practically felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as you tightened around his dick, your thighs slick with your juices and spread to give him the perfect view of your cunt swallowing him whole. you were greedy, but you were tempting, so he let you have him. he wanted more than what you were offering him, but he knew his chances were less than slim. he had broken up with his girlfriend and it left him heartbroken, in need of a distraction to fill the void. after a few bottles of beer and hours of consoling him, you had agreed to numb some of his pain, as friends. you had been fucking constantly, as friends. you were giving him everything he wanted, yet he wanted none of it. he had broken the first rule, and he wanted all of you. he hated himself for ever suggesting the entire ordeal, being friends with benefits. he didn’t want to be your friend, and he didn’t want these benefits anymore. he just wanted you.

“cum inside me,” you exhaled, your hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. you had never looked more tempting, riding his dick with a cigarette limp between your lips, tits shaking with every thrust he had to offer. “know you want to, johnny.” of course he wanted to, who wouldn’t? he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you in once more as his balls slapped against your ass, the angle allowing him to hit all the right spots.

he groaned in your ear, the sound of his raspy voice shooting straight through your core as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. you could practically feel him coming up your ribcage as he held you close, pounding into your pussy with all his might. the cigarette trembled between your fingers and, soon enough, you found yourself tossing it aside, your limbs too numb to hold onto anything but the weight of your lust. at first, you felt bad, knowing you were just using each other. you wanted to be more than his sanctuary, than his friend, but it was too late for that. you forced yourself to comply, and eventually, you let yourself enjoy it.

“i’m gonna—” johnny cut himself off with a grunt, his fingers wrapping around the flesh of your hips as he lifted himself once more, filling your pussy to the brim with a loud moan. he let go, his cock throbbing with your walls clenching around it as he came inside you, shooting thick ropes of sticky white into you. it felt too good, all of it. he loved how warm you were, how tight you felt, how he always felt like he was breaking you with nothing but the size of his cock.

you moaned at the feeling of his hot cum seeping into your cunt, the scent of smoke lingering in his mouth as you kissed him once more. then, you felt yourself fall apart. you came just as hard, your vision going blurry as you clenched around his softening cock, pussy tightening around it as it spasmed some more, as if to tell you that you had milked it dry once again. you fell apart as you leaned back onto your elbows, spreading your legs farther apart to give johnny one last peek. he saw it, the way his cock slipped out of you and pushed against your slit, oozing with cum he didn’t even know he had in him. he watched the way your cunt throbbed, some of his seed spilling out as you did so. his cock felt hot against your naked thigh, threatening to harden a second time.

the opportunity was cut short as you stood up, swinging you bare legs off the bed. “going so fast?” johnny didn’t mean for it to sound as desperate as it did, truly. he watched as you approached your desk, taking another cigarette from the box and pressing it to your lips. you looked too good to be true—your makeup was smeared with tears, your hair slick with sweat, your lips plump and swollen, every curve of your naked body mingling with the light that filtered through the curtains. you turned to face him with a smile, crossing your legs despite being on display for him once more.

“got a date scheduled,” your tone was casual, as if you were oblivious to the ache that flared up in his stomach as your words cut through the silence. you were, in fact, very oblivious. more smoked passed your lips as you flashed him a smile, tucking the filter back into your mouth as you slid your panties back on. “we can go again tonight if i come back.”

if you came back. it was almost like you wanted him to suffer, but you didn't. it was nobody’s fault but his own. the thought of another man having you in any way that came to mind made him sick to his stomach, but there was nothing he could do about it. you were just friends, after all. so, he forced himself to lean back, crossing his arms behind his head as he forced a smile. “i hope you have a great time,” he lied. everything about it was a lie, after all. you smiled, your gaze alive with light as you looked at him like he was all you had. he was. after all, he was your best friend.

✧.*

JOHNNY SUH (서영호) — FRIENDS (2)

(EXTENDED) ✧.* MINORS DNI (18+)

the studio was filled to the brim with creativity, the kind only found in a university art class on a thursday afternoon. it was flooded with students, each absorbed in their own world. the faint smell of oil paints mingled with the earthy scent of wet clay, the low hum of charcoal pencils scratching against paper, and the occasional mutterings of frustration or triumph filled the space. easels were scattered about like skeletons, their frames supporting unfinished works that glistened under the soft light streaming from the high windows. sunlight slanted lazily across the floor, illuminating particles of dust in the air.

the professor, known for her lax attitude, had long stopped bothering with punctuality. she’d drift in whenever the mood struck, her students used to the freedom that came with it. some of them thrived in this lack of structure, diligently working on their projects—focused, hunched over their creations as though they were the only things in the universe. some sketched silently, the sharp scratch of pencil against paper a soothing background noise. others sculpted, fingers molding and shaping clay into forms that seemed to breathe. and then there was you.

you sat in the center of it all, doing absolutely nothing, arms crossed over your chest as you reclined back in your chair with a deep sigh. your eyes scanned the room, half-lidded with boredom, before your gaze inevitably dropped to your phone, face-up on the table like a reflection of your current mood. “holy shit,” you muttered to no one in particular, grabbing your phone and pressing it to your forehead. the cool glass made brief contact with your skin before you heaved another sigh, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. you peeked through one eye only to see some of your foundation now smudged onto the screen. perfect.

“what is it now?” joohyun’s voice piped up, soft yet amused, from across the table. she exchanged a quick glance with seulgi, who was already trying—unsuccessfully—to hide a knowing smirk behind her sketchbook. you waved your phone in the air, leaning back with exaggerated exasperation. “this asshole,” you grumbled, your words dripping with disdain. “he's the one who suggested a hotel instead of a motel, and now he wants me to chip in? like, i won the jackass lottery or something.”

seulgi’s lips finally parted into a grin, the kind of smile that made you feel even more ridiculous for being upset in the first place. she loved this, basking in the drama of your misadventures. you kicked your legs out under the table, letting them dangle as you vented, before dropping your phone with a soft clatter and burying your face in your arms. “who is it this time?” she asked, her voice brimming with barely-contained laughter. “the guy from that app? the one from yesterday?”

you lifted your head just enough to shoot her a look. you’d stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago—no more prince charming, no perfect ending. you were fine with it, honestly. you didn’t need romance; you just needed a little fun. “yeah,” you admitted, leaning back in your chair. “and i wouldn’t even be this pissed if he actually had any game. but it wasn’t even worth spending the night with him.”

joohyun reached over, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. her touch was gentle, sympathetic, as if she knew how many times you’d been through this cycle. you pressed your eyes shut, a shiver running through you as last night’s blurry details flickered across your mind. the cringe settled deep in your bones. “i’m so done,” you sighed once again, this time quieter, almost to yourself.

seulgi was already giggling, and joohyun was fighting back a grin of her own. you sat back up, hands hitting the table with a light thud as you tried to shake off the lingering embarrassment. “smoke break, guys?” seulgi shook her head, holding up two fingers that she’d been doodling on earlier. “can’t. quitting,” she replied in a higher, almost mocking pitch. “seulgi’s on a no-nic diet for the next three days.”

you shot her a look, feigning disgust as you pushed her hand away. “you psycho. what’s in three days?” she linked arms with joohyun, flipping her hair dramatically as if she were some movie star. “a blind date,” she sang, “and i can’t be shaking on the date, so i’m preparing.”

you rolled your eyes. “another blind date? you’re addicted to men, i swear.” the words were barely out of your mouth when you realized the irony of your statement. seulgi didn’t miss a beat, waving you off with a smug grin. “look who’s talking, miss i-fell-for-the-hotel,” she quipped, dragging joohyun away with a playful skip in her step.

you sighed, muttering under your breath, “point taken.” for a moment, you considered staying right where you were, hiding away in your bubble of frustration and second-hand embarrassment. but that wasn’t your style. instead, you pushed yourself forward, sliding across the floor in your chair until you reached the person you really needed to talk to.

“hey, loser,” you called out, your eyes locked on johnny’s figure as he worked. he was hunched over his sculpture, completely absorbed, his hands moving with precision as he molded the clay. his ears were covered with large headphones, barricading him from the outside world, oblivious to your approach. you watched him for a second longer, taking in the concentration etched into his features. workaholic, lunatic, or maybe a bit of both. he’d been your best friend for years now, and somehow, even through all your ridiculousness, he stuck around. you weren’t sure why, but you were grateful.

with a glance you hoped was nonchalant, you swung your boot gently into the back of his knee, not hard enough to topple him over but enough to get his attention. johnny’s head jerked up, his expression morphing from confusion to mild annoyance as he pulled his headphones down around his neck. “what do you want?” he sighed, his voice heavy with the weight of someone who had dealt with you a thousand times over.

you sighed dramatically, mimicking his tone as you flopped back into your chair. “seul and joo left, and now i have no one to smoke with.” you ran a hand through your hair, flipping it over your shoulder with unnecessary flair. “what if i go alone and get kidnapped? what’s my mom gonna do?”

johnny rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he were fighting off a smile. “i should just let you get kidnapped, you psycho,” he muttered, but there was no real venom behind his words. “let’s go.” that was all you needed. you shoved your chair back, springing to your feet with a grin, tapping johnny’s back playfully with your fists as he stood. he tried his best to hide the small smile tugging at his lips, but you knew him too well.

the hallway leading out of the studio was quiet, save for the occasional shuffle of footsteps and muffled voices from the rooms you passed. the door clicked softly as johnny pushed it open, letting a stream of late afternoon sunlight flood the corridor. you followed him out, the warmth hitting your skin in sharp contrast to the cool air of the studio. outside, the sky was a pale wash of blues and pinks, the first signs of evening beginning to settle over the campus.

you trailed after him, the soles of your boots echoing faintly against the worn stone stairs that spiraled down to the terrace below. the steps were chipped in places, the edges softened by years of students rushing up and down them, eager for a break, a moment to breathe. you descended with him at a leisurely pace, taking your time as you passed patches of ivy creeping up the sides of the building, the green leaves glistening under the fading sunlight.

as you reached the terrace, a familiar scene greeted you. a few other students were already there, lounging against the stone walls or perched on the benches, cigarettes hanging loosely from their lips, smoke curling lazily into the air. laughter and conversation floated around in a low hum, blending with the distant sound of traffic from the streets beyond the campus. it was a scene you had witnessed countless times—a place where people drifted between classes, seeking a moment of reprieve from whatever deadlines or frustrations weighed on their minds.

you plopped down onto the nearest bench with a sigh, the wood creaking beneath you as you shrugged off your jacket. your hand slid into the inner pocket, fingers curling around the familiar pack of cigarettes. with a quick flick of your wrist, you pulled one out and brought it to your lips, feeling the slight resistance as the filter pressed against your skin.

johnny remained silent as he walked to the edge of the terrace, arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the low metal fence. his gaze wandered over the campus below, where students meandered through the courtyard, their shadows long against the golden light. he looked like he was taking in the view, but you knew better. his eyes flickered back toward you, watching in that subtle, amused way he always did. there was something comforting about it—how he never had to say much, how his presence alone was enough.

you struck a match, the flame dancing momentarily before you lit your cigarette. you inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke curl in your lungs before you released it into the air, the cloud of it rising like a small puff of frustration. you smoked like it was the only thing anchoring you, like you could pull something solid from it if you just inhaled deeply enough. johnny’s soft scoff reached your ears, and you glanced over to see him shaking his head. “you’re a real addict, you know that?” his tone was teasing, but his gaze was sharp, the corner of his mouth twitching in a half-smile. still, he accepted the cigarette you offered him, taking it with a look that played at being indifferent but didn’t quite hide the fondness underneath.

“heard last night didn’t go so well,” he remarked, flicking the lighter and inhaling a slow drag before passing it back. you scrunched up your face, the memory hitting you all over again like a wave of distaste. “don’t even get me started. that son of a bitch,” you trailed off, slapping your palm against your forehead as if you could physically erase the entire night from your mind. you took another deep drag from your cigarette, letting the smoke soothe your nerves, though it did little to remove the embarrassment lodged deep in your chest.

johnny’s eyes lingered on you with that amused expression, the one that said he knew exactly how bad your night had been even before you said it. he leaned against the bench behind you, close enough that you could feel the slight brush of his shoulder as he hovered. you could sense his curiosity, see the way his gaze kept flicking toward the phone you had now opened in your lap.

“god, i hate it when they have tattoos like this,” you muttered, swiping left on the latest guy to show up on your screen. the tattoo in question—a lion etched awkwardly across the guy’s chest—made you gag in disgust as you dismissed him with a swipe, your fingers moving swiftly as if the mere sight of it offended your sensibilities. johnny shifted beside you, a small frown tugging at the corners of his lips. “pretty cheesy,” he murmured, taking another drag, the smoke curling around him in a soft cloud. he couldn’t help his hand from subconsciously patting down the tattoo that rested on his shoulder and extended above his pec. it was the same one he did his best to hide under baggy clothes, as he had gotten it done not too long ago. it was safe to say that your words stung.

you set your phone down on your lap, turning to meet his gaze with a look that was half-amused, half-exasperated. “come to think of it,” you started, the smirk creeping back onto your lips, “the guy from last night had a huge tattoo. wanna know what it said?” johnny shot you a look—half curiosity, half dread—but there was no real stopping you once you got started. he sighed, leaning in slightly, even though you both knew he didn’t really want to hear whatever it was you were about to say.

“‘i will never die,’” you recited with mock gravitas, your voice low as you mimicked the guy's words. johnny blinked, waiting for the punchline. you paused, savoring the moment before adding, “how? false advertising. that dick of his just kept dying and dying—” before you could finish, his hand shot out, pressing firmly over your mouth, his palm warm against your lips. you saw the way his eyes widened, the faint blush creeping up his neck, and you couldn’t help the smile that curled beneath his hand, though you were certain he could feel it.

“shut up,” he muttered, his voice tinged with disbelief as he glanced around, making sure no one else had overheard your scandalous recounting. his hand lingered for a moment longer before he pulled it away, exasperation written all over his face. “you’re insane.” you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you watched him shake his head. he was used to your antics by now, used to your endless rants about the ridiculous men you met and the even more ridiculous situations you found yourself in. it was part of his job, as your best friend, to listen to it all. as a man, though? he had heard more than he ever wanted to.

the glow of the vanity light cast a soft, golden hue over your apartment’s small, cluttered room. your reflection stared back at you, lips pursed in concentration as you applied the final touches to your look. the lipstick glided smoothly over your lips, completing the look you were known for on nights like these. you loved going out. there was something about the noise, the energy, the feeling of being alive among people, that kept you from ever staying in. the silence of your apartment, the stillness that came when you weren’t surrounded by the pulse of music or the buzz of conversation, felt suffocating.

you leaned in closer to the mirror, adjusting the curve of your eyeliner just so, exhaling softly as the familiar weight of anticipation settled in your chest. a night out was like a ritual—one you had mastered with the precision of someone who knew exactly who they were in those fleeting moments of freedom. the dress you wore tonight—a vibrant shade of red that hugged your body in all the right places—was daring, just as you liked it. your fingers absentmindedly smoothed the fabric, adjusting it one last time before your gaze drifted to your phone on the edge of the vanity.

its screen lit up with a soft glow, catching your attention as the group chat with seulgi and joohyun exploded with messages. seulgi was in full panic mode, flooding the chat with questions about outfits, makeup, and shoes, her usual pre-night-out anxiety in full swing. you smirked, your first instinct to fire back something to simmer her down, but your fingers hovered over her name for a moment before sliding over to johnny’s contact instead.

(y/n) 𖹭

where r we meeting up? (6:24 pm)

you didn’t have to wait long. the reply came in almost immediately, and the corner of your lips twitched in amusement as you read it.

chicago by trina vega

im literally in front of ur house? hurry up (6:24 pm)

you blinked, caught off guard. you glanced back at the time. had you really spent that long getting ready? it hadn’t felt like it, but time had a funny way of slipping away when you were perfecting your look. to be fair, johnny hadn’t exactly mentioned he’d be coming to pick you up. but then again, he always did, so you should’ve known. you let out a breath, casting one last look in the mirror before swapping out your denim jacket for the leather one that hung from the back of your chair. the familiar scent of worn leather greeted you as you shrugged it over your shoulders, its weight a comfortable presence against the soft fabric of your dress.

with one last glance around the room, you flicked off the lights and stepped outside, the evening air cool as it wrapped around you. much to your approval, johnny was exactly where he said he’d be, leaning casually against his motorcycle, the streetlights casting a faint glow over his figure. his lips quirked into a teasing smile as he raised a hand in greeting, eyes glinting with that ever-present, mocking amusement.

“so pretty,” you murmured, but your gaze had already slipped past him, landing squarely on his motorcycle. you couldn’t help the way your eyes softened as you admired it, the sleek, polished surface gleaming under the dim lights. for a second, his expression brightened, the compliment washing over him, but the light in his eyes dimmed just as fast as he realized it wasn’t for him. he let out an exaggerated sigh, his posture relaxing as he pushed off from the bike and reached for the spare helmet. “you should totally sell her to me,” you said, your tone playful but laced with just enough seriousness that johnny couldn’t quite tell if you were joking or not.

he scoffed, shaking his head as he passed you the helmet, his fingers brushing against yours for just a second. “you should totally change my name in your contacts,” he retorted, mimicking your playful tone as he mounted the bike with practiced ease. your lips curled into a smile as you swung your leg over the seat, the leather of your jacket creaking slightly as you inched closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. the warmth of his body radiated through his jacket, a comforting presence against your chest. you leaned in, your breath ghosting against the back of his neck as you murmured, “not a chance.”

the proximity, the casual intimacy of the gesture, was so common between the two of you, but you knew exactly the effect it had. you could feel the way johnny tensed slightly beneath your touch, could practically hear the gears grinding in his head. it was always like this—a careful dance between familiarity and something unspoken, something neither of you dared to acknowledge. he didn’t say a word, but the way his hands gripped the handlebars a little tighter was answer enough. he started the engine with a low rumble, the vibrations of the bike thrumming through your legs as you held onto him, your arms tightening instinctively around his waist. you rested your cheek against his back, a small smirk tugging at your lips as the bike roared to life beneath you.

the neon lights of the bar flickered above as johnny parked his bike, the low hum of the engine fading into the steady pulse of the city nightlife. you swung your leg over and hopped off, the heels of your boots clicking against the pavement. as you straightened your dress, a teasing grin spread across your lips when you noticed johnny’s outfit. “hey, you totally copied me,” you said, pointing at the black leather jacket he was wearing, almost identical to yours. your eyes glinted with playful accusation, lips tugging into a smirk.

he scoffed, his response casual as he pulled off your helmet and tucked it back onto the bike. “i’m older than you, loser. you’re definitely the copycat here,” he retorted, giving you a sideways glance. his voice was light, but there was a warmth to the banter, the kind of ease that came with knowing someone far too well. you waved him off with an exaggerated flick of your hand. “details, details,” you mumbled, already skipping ahead to the entrance of the bar, your boots clicking in a hurried rhythm. the thrill of the night ahead quickened your steps, an excitement bubbling in your chest that you couldn’t quite suppress.

johnny trailed behind, slower, more measured, but his eyes followed you with the same fond amusement they always did. you pushed open the heavy door, the familiar warmth and noise of the bar spilling out to greet you. the rich, smoky scent mingled with the low thrum of music, immediately washing over you like a comforting embrace. as you stepped inside, you were met with a chorus of cheers and loud greetings from the group already seated at the far end of the room. seulgi’s voice rang out first, her words blending with the din of laughter. “now we can get the night started!”

johnny gave a small smirk behind you, pulling out a chair between him and joohyun as you made your way over to the table. you took your seat, relishing the way the eyes of your friends danced with anticipation. this was your space, your people, and for a moment, everything outside these walls felt distant, irrelevant. one of the younger guys from your department, jaehee, leaned forward, his eyebrows raised in mock curiosity as he studied you and johnny. “oh, what’s this?” he asked, his gaze darting between the two of you. “you two have the same jacket, you almost look like a couple.”

his words earned a few playful jeers from the others, a chorus of knowing smirks and teasing grins circling the table. johnny stayed silent, his expression unreadable as he ran a finger along the rim of his empty glass, eyes trained elsewhere. but you scoffed in disbelief, waving the comment off with a laugh.

“as your senior, i’m offended,” you clicked your tongue, feigning hurt. “and here i was, considering paying for your drink.” your mock indignation drew a few chuckles from the table, though jaehee immediately clasped his hands together in a dramatic display of asking for forgiveness. johnny, however, seemed distant. you glanced his way, expecting a witty remark or at least some acknowledgment of the teasing, but his jaw remained tight, his focus locked on the empty glass before him. something was off, but you couldn’t quite place what it was.

the next half hour dissolved into a whirlwind of drinks and laughter, the room spinning with the lightheaded haze that came with each clink of the glasses. your cheeks flushed, the warmth of alcohol coursing through your veins as you joined in the cheers and toasts. but even in your tipsy state, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering johnny. he sat there, quiet, his usual sharp remarks dulled by whatever was clouding his mood.

mark, one of johnny’s closer friends, leaned over, his grin wide and tipsy as he slurred out an idea. “let’s play a drinking game,” he announced, the table erupting in agreement. but just as quickly, johnny shook his head, pushing away from the table slightly. “i’m out,” he said simply, his voice firm but not aggressive.

you turned to him, frowning at his sudden withdrawal from the fun. “what’s your problem tonight, dude?” the alcohol gave your words an edge they might not have had otherwise, the confusion morphing into irritation. johnny didn’t meet your gaze, just shook his head again, his fingers tapping restlessly on the table. that only deepened your frown, your displeasure clear as you leaned back in your chair. before you could push further, mark chimed in with a laugh, slapping johnny’s shoulder. “he needs to get laid,” he grinned, his voice thick with alcohol-induced confidence. “give him a hand, (y/n).”

you sneered, your hand trembling slightly as you raised the now-empty bottle toward mark, words tumbling from your lips in a mixture of amusement and frustration. “only after i kick your ass,” you shot back, your tone playful but sharp. before you could do anything further, johnny swiftly reached over, plucking the bottle from your grasp and placing it back down on the table with a decisive clink. his expression remained neutral, though there was something firm in the way he moved, like he was pulling you back from a ledge you didn’t even realize you were on.

you stuck your tongue out at him, your way of telling him he was being no fun, but he just shrugged, his eyes betraying none of the thoughts swirling behind them. he was always like this—stubborn, distant when something bothered him. and you knew him well enough to recognize that something was eating at him tonight, even if he wouldn’t say what.

nonetheless, the room buzzed with excitement as the game kicked off, the energy of the group infectious. “shake your hands and take your shots, the game of death chose you!” came the enthusiastic chorus of voices around the table. even johnny joined in, his voice blending with the others, a smirk pulling at his lips despite the slight edge lingering in his mood. his tolerance for alcohol was impressive, but now, with a few drinks down, even he had loosened up enough to fully engage in the fun.

fingers were pointed, accusations flew across the table, and the countdown began. one, two—then, the inevitable happened. mark, poor mark, let out a dramatic cry of defeat, his head dropping to the table as if he had just lost everything. you clasped your hands together in delight, a wicked grin on your face as johnny leaned back with a chuckle, enjoying the spectacle. the entire table erupted in laughter, the kind that echoed through the room, bubbling up from deep within the belly.

“hat off, asshole,” johnny cooed, tugging at the brim of mark's cap, his grin growing wider as he let out a long-suffering sigh, as if preparing himself for some unspeakable punishment. with exaggerated slowness, mark removed his cap, his face twisted in mock despair. “here, here,” you chimed in, leaning forward with a glint in your eye, pulling the hair tie off your wrist. “he gets the hair tie. you reap what you sow, loser.”

mark sighed again, his eyes fluttering shut as you lazily tied his hair into a messy shape resembling a palm tree, earning another round of giggles from the table. it was all ridiculous, but that’s what made it fun. everyone loved a good humiliation as long as it wasn’t their turn to face the table’s judgment. johnny watched in silence, though he couldn’t quite shake the flicker of irritation that crept into his chest as he saw you leaning into mark, the casual way your hands brushed through his hair. he tried to push the feeling aside, taking a long sip from his glass, but it lingered. a part of him wasn’t entertained—at least not by that.

still, the game carried on. johnny refocused, pulling himself out of his own head as he gave Mark a mischievous nudge. "go up to the table across from us," he ordered, his voice low and amused, "ask those girls if you can dance for them." mark rose from his seat with a dramatic groan, stumbling slightly as he approached the two girls sitting at a nearby table. the group watched with rapt attention, stifling their laughter as he awkwardly tried to charm them into his dance. even johnny cracked a grin, though that strange feeling still lurked at the edges of his thoughts, especially when his gaze drifted back to you.

by the time mark returned, his face red and buried in his hands from embarrassment, you were already reclaiming your hair tie with a triumphant smirk. the laughter around the table began to die down, but the game’s energy lingered in the air, thick and buzzing. you poured yourself another drink, your hand surprisingly steady given the number of glasses you’d already downed, and casually poured one for Johnny too. he accepted it with a nod, his fingers brushing yours as he took the glass.

then, jaehee leaned forward, a sly grin creeping onto his face as he cupped his hands around his mouth to get everyone’s attention. “listen up, listen up,” he announced, his voice dropping as if he was about to share some forbidden secret. everyone leaned in, intrigued, their curiosity piqued. you tilted your head, your glass hovering near your lips as you waited for his revelation.

“who did the deed in the student council room last year?” he asked, eyes glinting with mischief. his words were met with a collective gasp from the table, everyone recalling the scandalous rumor that had circulated last year. you couldn’t help but chuckle, shooting johnny a knowing look across the table. you were the first to find out back then, and johnny was the first person you’d told. the memory of it brought a grin to your face.

“quit playing detective,” you slurred, pretending to be serious as you waved a hand dismissively. “you're barking up the wrong tree.” but your words only fanned the flames of anticipation, everyone now eagerly awaiting the revelation. jaehee leaned in closer, much too close for comfort, and johnny shot him a look, his voice low and dangerous. “get the fuck off me,” he muttered, nudging him back.

but jaehee persisted, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “come on, who did it?” you rolled your eyes, but couldn’t resist the temptation of feeding into the suspense. leaning in even closer, your voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, “really? none of you know?” a chorus of shaking heads followed, and you sighed theatrically before giving in. “it was jaehyun and a freshman.”

the table erupted in shock, gasps and exclamations flying in every direction as everyone turned to one another, exchanging stunned looks. johnny shot you a look too, one eyebrow raised, though there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes that mirrored your own.

“no wonder you're called (y/n) live,” seulgi teased, raising her glass. “breaking news!” the nickname caught on quickly as the group toasted to your latest piece of gossip. the next hour blurred by in a haze of laughter and drinks, the thrill of your revelation keeping the energy high. it wasn’t until you tried to stand that you realized just how much you had indulged. the world tilted dangerously as you wobbled on your feet, your legs giving out beneath you as you crashed back down into your seat.

“(y/n)? are you okay?” mark asked, concern crossing his features as he leaned forward. but you waved him off with a lazy hand, your vision spinning as you tried to compose yourself. johnny was up in an instant, moving toward you like it was second nature. his hand found your arm, steadying you as you clutched the fabric of his jacket for balance. he leaned down, his voice quiet and close to your ear.

“want me to take you back home?” he asked, his tone soft, protective in a way that wasn’t overbearing but just enough to offer comfort. you shook your head, pushing yourself up again. everyone around the table seemed to be waiting for your answer, the night hanging in the balance.

“the next stop is seulgi’s house,” you slurred, but your voice regained strength as you straightened up, determination flashing across your face. “for the afterparty.” and just like that, the room exploded into cheers once more, the promise of more drinks and more fun driving the night forward, even as johnny cast one last glance your way, concern still lingering in the set of his jaw.

you weren't aware of much, floating somewhere between bliss and tipsy oblivion as johnny carried you on his back. his hands held firmly around your legs, adjusting every few steps to keep his grip tight as you lazily draped your arms over his shoulders. one of your hands held a cigarette, burning slowly in the dim night air. you brought it to your lips, taking a slow drag, feeling the familiar warmth slip through your veins. “do you really have to do that now?” his voice was low, exasperated, as he huffed under your weight, his breath curling into the cool evening.

you grinned lazily, bringing the cigarette up to his lips without a word. he paused, looking ahead for a moment, then gave in and took a drag for himself. you watched the smoke billow from his mouth, your eyes half-lidded as you murmured, “you're welcome,” before nestling your head against his back. you felt his body shift, and though he rolled his eyes, he said nothing, just adjusted his hold on you and kept walking.

seulgi and joohyun were ahead, arms locked, sharing one of those knowing glances you were too hazy to catch. mark, trailing behind them, couldn’t resist inserting himself between the two, throwing his arms around their shoulders as if he belonged there. “is there really nothing going on between them?” he whispered harshly, nodding toward you and johnny. seulgi exchanged another look with joohyun, both stifling giggles. mark persisted, wide-eyed and curious. “what? stop looking at each other. i wanna know, tell me.”

joohyun shook her head with a grin, but seulgi saved in. “she swears there isn’t, but,” she trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. “but what? what?” mark whined, quickening his pace as the girls sped up, their giggles floating back toward him.

when you finally reached seulgi’s apartment, the atmosphere shifted. there were more drinks, and everyone seemed determined to keep the night alive. bottles of soju passed from hand to hand, and as soon as one reached you, you eagerly reached out, ready to claim it as your own. before you could even feel the cool glass in your palm, though, it was snatched away.

you turned, your expression scrunching into a playful scowl as johnny twisted the bottle in his hand, lifting it to his lips before glancing down at you. “do you wanna die?” you asked sweetly, though the edge of irritation was unmistakable. he scoffed, taking a swig and meeting your gaze with a smirk. “don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

you pretended to think about it, your lips curving into a mischievous smile before you reached up and yanked the bottle back, catching him off guard. “thanks for your concern, dad, much love.” you took a long sip, the burn of the alcohol feeling almost comforting as it slid down your throat. johnny rolled his eyes again, but you didn’t miss the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he trailed behind you.

“we’re gonna step out to smoke,” you announced to the group, weaving your way through the circle of friends. jaehee and mark followed without hesitation, eager to join in. as the four of you headed toward the small balcony, you slapped johnny’s back playfully, still fighting for the bottle he was now keeping just out of reach. the night air felt crisp against your skin, a refreshing contrast to the warmth buzzing in your veins. you could still walk, but you weren’t exactly steady.

johnny plopped down on the outdoor sofa, and you followed, letting yourself collapse beside him. without thinking, you shifted, dropping your head onto his lap with a satisfied sigh. he tensed immediately, the sudden weight of you pressing into him clearly catching him off guard. you could feel his hesitation, the way his body stiffened as if unsure how to handle it, but when your eyes met his, something flickered in his expression—something unreadable.

he gulped, but before he could say anything, you seized the opportunity, snatching the bottle from his hand once more. you took a quick sip, then handed it back to him with a grin. “thanks,” you murmured, your voice soft, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to blur, leaving only the two of you in the hazy glow of the night.

meanwhile, jaehee paced around the balcony, his voice rising with a familiar complaint. “guys, you guys,” he slurred, throwing his arms dramatically. “joohyun is so pretty up close. oh, god.”

mark let out a laugh, almost too loud for the quiet night. “we get it already. so tell her,” you snapped, exasperated. “we can’t stand your fawning anymore. grow a pair, get rejected, and move on.” jaehee sighed, his body folding in on itself as he slumped forward, his head in his hands. his unrequited crush was a burden to everyone around him, a fact that seemed to grow more evident with every passing drink.

johnny chuckled quietly beside you, pulling out his vape and taking a long drag. you turned to him, your eyes narrowing as you eyed the device in his hand. “i wanna try,” you demanded, your curiosity piqued. “where’ve you been hiding this?” without missing a beat, he blew a cloud of fruity smoke directly in your face, his lips quirking in amusement. “there you go,” he said, his voice teasing. “like it?”

you scrunched your nose, glaring at him playfully before snatching the vape from his hand. you pressed yourself into him, your body fitting too easily against his as you brought the vape to your lips. he was visibly tense, though he tried to hide it, his eyes flickering between your face and the ground as if he couldn’t decide where to look. mark couldn’t help but notice. “how are you not hot, dude? take your jacket off,” he commented, blowing smoke from his own vape as he gestured toward johnny.

you turned to johnny, your brow furrowing in mock concern. “yeah, take it off. what are you, cold-blooded?” johnny hesitated for a beat, but eventually gave in. with a sigh, he peeled off his leather jacket, revealing the edge of a tattoo peeking out from under his shirt. the second the ink caught the light, both you and mark gasped in unison, your eyes wide with surprise.

“dude, when’d you get tatted?” mark asked, his voice full of awe. you were just as shocked, your fingers instinctively reaching out to trace the visible lines of the tattoo. johnny barely reacted to mark’s question, his attention focused solely on you as your fingertips brushed against his skin. the contact was subtle, but it sent a shiver down his spine, one that you could almost feel beneath your touch.

“you hate it?” he asked, his voice quieter than usual, almost unsure. you shook your head slowly, still tracing the ink with a delicate touch. your fingers tugged at his shirt slightly, exposing a bit more of the design along his collarbone. “it looks really good, actually,” you murmured, your voice soft and sincere. for the first time that night, johnny smiled—an unguarded, genuine smile that seemed to reach all the way to his eyes.

the next day hit you like a truck. your body felt leaden, your mind trapped in a fog that refused to clear. the hangover clung to you, a dull ache that pulsed behind your eyes with every breath, every movement. sleep had been fleeting, and recovery—nonexistent. but there was no time to linger in your misery; it was the day of the flea market, one of the biggest events of the semester. food stalls, fundraisers, and most importantly, the pride of your department—an exhibit of heartfelt student creations—were all on the agenda.

you dragged yourself into the classroom, still feeling half-dead, only to be greeted by your professor’s knowing smile. she stood at the front, arms crossed, watching you with a teasing glint in her eye. “it smells like you’ve had a long night,” she quipped, her tone dripping with amusement. “of preparing for the market, i assume.” you let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of your neck as you nodded. “obviously,” you said, feigning confidence. “we should consider selling soju, actually.”

your professor clicked her tongue, shaking her head slightly before turning her attention back to the review of preparations. you stifled a sigh, already feeling the weight of exhaustion pressing down on you. the hours that followed were a blur of frantic activity—setting up displays, arranging materials, checking every last detail. it wasn’t that there was an overwhelming amount to do, but the lack of help made it feel like you were tackling a mountain alone. every task felt heavier than it should’ve, your body screaming for rest with each passing minute.

by the time everything came together, you were beyond worn out. the thought of quitting, of abandoning it all, floated through your mind more than once. “i should just drop out,” you muttered under your breath, half-serious. “yup, that’s it.” you shook your head, trying to focus as you thought about your next move. the event hadn’t even started, and you needed a break, badly. a trip to the convenience store seemed like the only thing that could save you at this point.

slipping away from the scene, you made your way to the nearest store, the cool air a temporary reprieve from the heat and noise of the market preparations. you grabbed a few essentials—food, snacks, and, of course, alcohol. your hand hovered over a couple of cans of beer, and without a second thought, you tossed them into your basket. it wasn’t even the late afternoon, but who was keeping track? the fluorescent lights of the store buzzed quietly as you stood in line, your mind somewhere else entirely.

when you finally stepped out of the store, bags in hand, the market had transformed in your absence. the stalls were set up, bustling with energy as vendors finished last-minute preparations. the smell of grilled meat and fried snacks filled the air, mixing with the hum of chatter as students and visitors began to trickle in. you walked slowly, taking in the scene as you made your way back. bright banners fluttered in the breeze, colorful displays lining the path, but your attention was pulled elsewhere.

your gaze landed on your group, specifically johnny, standing at the center of it all, laughing with that familiar, easy smile. he stood taller than the rest, always the anchor of the group, but it wasn’t just his height that drew your eyes today. something else caught your attention—the two girls standing in front of him, both smiling brightly, flirting in a way that made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

this was nothing new. johnny had always been popular, his laid-back demeanor and quiet charm drawing people in. but today, something felt different. it wasn’t just their presence that bothered you. it was the way your chest tightened at the sight of him, his jacket off for the first time in a long while, his tattoo partially exposed. the ink was dark against his skin, catching the light as the girls leaned in, clearly captivated.

you scoffed, pulling the bag higher onto your shoulder as you watched the scene unfold. one of the girls made a move—too bold for her own good—and you could see the subtle shift in johnny’s expression, the moment he let her down easy, polite but distant. they exchanged eye rolls before walking away, defeated, and you couldn’t help but smirk. “what a show,” you teased as you approached him, your tone light but pointed. “you’re quite the catch now that you’re inked up.”

johnny rolled his eyes, though a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he made room for you beside him. “what’s in the bag? what’d you get me?” he asked, his voice casual, though there was an edge of curiosity beneath it. you grinned, pulling out two cans of beer and holding them up triumphantly. his eyes widened for a second before he groaned, pushing your hands back toward the bag.

“shit, put that away,” he muttered, his tone a mix of exasperation and amusement. “you psycho. all you do is drink.” you let out a dramatic sigh, slipping the cans back into the bag. “you’re no fun,” you pouted, kicking your legs up and resting them across his lap. his body tensed under the sudden contact, though you didn’t notice, too distracted by the scene unfolding in front of you.

your eyes landed on jaehyun, dressed in traditional japanese clothing by one of the food stalls, his hands pressed together in a namaste gesture as he spoke to a customer. you burst out laughing, unable to keep it in.

“what the hell is he doing? namaste,” you mocked, mimicking the gesture as you stifled another laugh. “i should start using that.” johnny chuckled beside you, pressing his palms together in imitation. “what would you ever use it for?” he asked through his laughter.

you turned to him, still laughing, but your breath caught when your eyes met his. there was something in the way he looked at you, something that made the world feel smaller, quieter. the noise of the market faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in that moment. it didn’t last long, just a brief flicker of something unspoken. but it was long enough for you to feel your heart skip, a sudden jolt you couldn’t explain. and for the first time in a long while, you wondered why being around johnny made you feel this way. because you knew—it wasn’t just about the tattoo.

just as you pulled out the can of beer you’d been craving all afternoon, a familiar figure appeared out of the corner of your eye. your professor, her sharp eyes sweeping the market, walked toward you with a faint smile playing on her lips. she settled herself on the steps above, overlooking the both of you. you straightened up slightly, exchanging quick, sheepish glances with johnny as you greeted her. “well, well,” she said, folding her hands neatly in her lap, “enjoying the festivities?”

you both nodded, doing your best to appear composed despite the weariness clinging to you like a second skin. the professor’s gaze drifted across the market, her eyes landing on jaehyun, who was still stationed at his stall, gracefully bowing to another customer, his outfit swaying lightly in the breeze. “jeong jaehyun, right?” she asked, her voice cutting through the soft hum of the crowd. you both nodded in unison. “that’s him,” you confirmed.

a small smile tugged at her lips. “i remember him. he’s good at what he does.” neither of you responded immediately, unsure if there was more to the statement. you exchanged a glance with johnny, who, true to form, remained silent, staring at the ground as though it held the answers to all of life’s questions.

then, the professor turned her attention fully to the two of you, her eyes glinting with a curiosity you hadn’t anticipated. her tone softened, almost as though she was asking something of little consequence. “are you two dating?” the question hung in the air, far heavier than it should have been. you barely had time to react before johnny tensed beside you, his gaze fixed stubbornly on the floor. he said nothing. the silence stretched, becoming more uncomfortable by the second.

you broke it with a laugh, the kind of laugh that bubbled up naturally, as if the whole notion were ridiculous. “absolutely not. never ever ever ever,” you said, chuckling through your words. but the professor didn’t seem convinced. she raised a brow, her smile growing ever so slightly. “why not? kids like you always end up getting together.”

her words felt oddly deliberate, and you could sense johnny beside you wishing for the conversation to be over. anything to stop your amused laughter and the strange, lingering feeling the question left behind. you shook your head, still grinning. “we’re the exception, don’t worry,” you assured her, your tone light, though you noticed johnny shift slightly beside you, as though the whole conversation had put him on edge.

the professor let out a soft hum of acknowledgment, clearly unconvinced but willing to drop it for now. she rose to her feet, brushing off her skirt with a practiced motion. “i’ll be off then,” she said, glancing at both of you. “don’t cause any trouble—and make sure to clean up after.” you both nodded in response, watching her walk away, the air still thick with the weight of her question. the moment she was out of sight, you leaned back against johnny’s shoulder with a dramatic sigh, your legs still draped over his lap as you fished another beer out of the bag.

without missing a beat, you cracked the can open with a satisfied exhale, but before you could even take a sip, Johnny’s hand shot out, snatching it from you with ease. you let out a whine of protest. “no, no,” he teased, raising the can to his lips as he took a swig. “i’m sorry, we don’t serve alcohol here.” you glared at him, snatching the can back with a huff. “let me live,” you groaned, bringing the can to your lips and finally taking a sip, savoring the cold bitterness as it slid down your throat.

johnny shook his head in disbelief, his lips twitching with amusement. “is all you do drink?” he asked, his voice laced with mock exasperation. “aren’t you gonna drink at the after-party tonight anyway?” you waved him off with a dismissive hand, not in the mood for his nagging. “you nag me more than my mom does. it’s heartbreaking,” you said dramatically, your gaze wandering up to the sky, watching the soft hues of the evening begin to deepen.

johnny rolled his eyes, though there was a hint of fondness in the gesture. “whatever, dude. just know i’m not gonna carry your ass back home.” you chuckled softly, closing your eyes for a moment as the weight of the day finally started to catch up to you. you knew how these nights went—the drinking, the laughter, the inevitable crash. and yet, you couldn’t help but grin as you leaned further into him, completely unbothered.

johnny wished, more than anything, that he had signed some kind of contract earlier that day—one that would have absolved him of the responsibility of carrying your drunk, disorderly self. this had happened so many times before, but this time felt different. you had gone too far. again.

the night had stretched long past its welcome, the bars closing one by one, until the last stragglers stumbled out into the streets. most of the group had already gone home, leaving johnny with the burden of getting you on your feet. you sat slumped on the curb, outside the entrance of the bar, refusing to move. strangers walked by, some giving curious glances, but most too busy with their own drunken states to notice.

johnny stood a few feet away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at you with a mix of amusement and exasperation. you were making a scene, but you didn’t care. you never cared when you reached this point. “hey, let's go. come on,” he said, his voice laced with tired patience as he approached. “everyone’s gone already.” he nudged your shoulder lightly with his foot, but all you did was groan in response.

when it became clear that words weren’t going to work, he crouched down behind you, his body close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him. his hands rested on your shoulders, and you could smell the faint trace of cologne lingering in the fabric of his jacket. it was a smell you had grown accustomed to, yet tonight, with the alcohol swimming in your veins, it seemed stronger, more distracting.

“i’m gonna leave without you, you need to get a hold of yourself,” he muttered, though he knew it was a hollow threat. johnny wasn’t going to leave you behind. he never did. you didn’t respond, too caught up in the sensation of his presence behind you—his breath warm against the back of your neck, his hands steady and sure. the world was a blur, but somehow, the closeness of him was the one thing that cut through the haze. you tilted your head back against his arm, your eyes half-lidded as you looked up at him.

“do you know what time it is? we gotta go, man,” he said again, his voice breaking the silence that had settled between you. but you didn’t answer. you just stared at him, catching the flicker of nerves in his eyes as he held your gaze. for a second, he seemed caught off guard, the usually calm and collected johnny looking at you as if he didn’t know what to do next. then, without thinking—because thinking was far beyond you now—your finger flew up to press against his lips, silencing whatever words were about to tumble out of his mouth.

“just shut up,” you slurred, your finger still resting gently against his lips. his eyes widened in shock, his whole body freezing as the world around him seemed to stop. he stared at you, stunned, his mind racing to catch up to what was happening. your words hung heavy in the air, their weight sinking into his chest. “i never noticed before,” you mumbled, your voice low and slurred, “but you’re handsome up close.”

that was it. the world tilted slightly, the alcohol and the intimacy of the moment crashing together in his head like waves against the shore. johnny’s heart was pounding in his chest, each beat louder than the last, his skin burning from the heat of the situation, from the way your finger still lingered against his lips. your finger slowly fell away, but the space it left behind was almost unbearable. before he could fully process it, before he could even think of what to do, you grabbed the back of his head, your fingers threading through his hair as you pulled him down. and then, your lips were on his.

the kiss was messy, uncoordinated, a clash of warmth and alcohol-fueled impulsiveness. johnny’s brain screamed at him to react, to pull away, but his body refused to listen. he was too stunned to do anything but sit there, eyes wide, breath caught in his throat, as you pressed into him, your lips soft against his. it was a sensation he hadn’t expected—hadn’t even allowed himself to imagine. when you finally pulled away, leaving a cold void between you, your eyes met his, heavy-lidded and searching. for a moment, neither of you moved, the tension between you thick and electric.

then, as if the shock had worn off, johnny’s hand reached out, pulling you back in. this time, he wasn’t frozen. his lips found yours again, and this time, they moved in sync with yours, each movement slow and deliberate. it was nothing like the first kiss—this one was softer, deeper. johnny’s hand cradled the back of your head as he kissed you again, his mind no longer racing, no longer trying to make sense of what was happening. all he knew was the taste of your lips, the warmth of your skin, and the way the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of you, sitting on a curb in the middle of the night.

he was completely, utterly lost. he was lost in it, in you, in the sensation of you. he was lost in the way you milked him dry, giving him the perfect view of your tits bouncing in his face as you pressed your palms against the wall in front of you, leaning forward with your back arched as you met his pace with swift, harsh bounces with a cigarette in your mouth. he was lost in the way you moaned his name, begging him to go harder, faster before whispering sweet nothings into his ear to push him off the edge. “tearing my pussy open, fuck,” you purred, your breath hot against his ear as the tip of your tongue danced alongside his earlobe, voice muffled with the filter between your lips. “fuck me so good, gonna make me squirt all over this dick.”

he was absolutely lost in it, letting himself absorb the sheer filth of it all. he allowed himself those few minutes of escape, of temporary pleasure. his hands groped the flesh of your tits, squeezing the soft skin and probing at your sensitive nipples. his mind was a mess as his hands slid down your waist before stopping at your hips, cupping your ass. he leaned forward to take your tit into his mouth, letting the other one collide with his cheek as he sucked around your nipple. his hands spanked the soft of your ass, his thumb coming down to probe at your tight, sensitive asshole. he’d never fully push it in, he’d just keep it there long enough to hear you moan some more, to feel you clench around nothing but his fingernail.

“you’re so pretty,” the praise would always come through before johnny could stop himself, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste as they passed his lips. he hated himself for speaking his thoughts aloud, even if it wasn’t intentional. he hated himself even more when you didn’t respond, flashing him a mere smile in response. you were too lost in what he had to offer, your cunt clenching around his dick as you leaned forward to press your lips to his. you placed a single kiss to his lips, enough to give him a taste of the smoke. you pulled away to press the filter to his lips, watching with hungry eyes as he took a long drag.

his favorite part seemed to be kissing you. it felt more intimate than the sex itself. he didn’t hesitate to kiss you back, he knew he’d give in one way or another. his lips clashed with yours, melting against them as he cupped your cheek. he exhaled, blowing the smoke into your mouth as his tongue traced your bottom lip. you kissed him with desire, hunger, all the while he kissed you as if you were fragile, like you were on the verge of breaking. “your dick’s so fucking big, ’m close,” you whined, breaking the kiss to press your forehead against his.

he was just as close, thrusting upwards to match your speed. he practically felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as you tightened around his dick, your thighs slick with your juices and spread to give him the perfect view of your cunt swallowing him whole. you were greedy, but you were tempting, so he let you have him. he wanted more than what you were offering him, but he knew his chances were less than slim. the two of you had allowed yourselves to break the first rule of friendship between men and women, and he had no interest in knowing what would happen the next morning. in fact, he wasn’t even thinking about it. the alcohol had absorbed his mind so nicely that he was unable to focus on anything but you, you and you.

“cum inside me,” you exhaled, your hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. you had never looked more tempting, riding his dick with a cigarette limp between your lips, tits shaking with every thrust he had to offer. “know you want to, johnny.” of course he wanted to, who wouldn’t? he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you in once more as his balls slapped against your ass, the angle allowing him to hit all the right spots.

your best friend groaned in your ear, the sound of his raspy voice shooting straight through your core as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. you could practically feel him coming up your ribcage as he held you close, pounding into your pussy with all his might. the cigarette trembled between your fingers and, soon enough, you found yourself tossing it aside, your limbs too numb to hold onto anything but the weight of your lust. you tried to reassure yourself that this was no different fro. your usual activities, that it wouldn’t strain your friendship. you wanted to believe it wouldn’t make things weird.

“i’m gonna—” johnny cut himself off with a grunt, his fingers wrapping around the flesh of your hips as he lifted himself once more, filling your pussy to the brim with a loud moan. he let go, his cock throbbing with your walls clenching around it as he came inside you, shooting thick ropes of sticky white into you. it felt too good, all of it. he loved how warm you were, how tight you felt, how he felt like he was breaking you with nothing but the size of his cock. the way you bit down on his tatted shoulder only confirmed his thought.

you moaned at the feeling of his hot cum seeping into your cunt, the scent of smoke lingering in his mouth as you kissed him once more. then, you felt yourself fall apart. you came just as hard, your vision going blurry as you clenched around his softening cock, pussy tightening around it as it spasmed some more, as if to tell you that you had milked it dry once again. you fell apart as you leaned back onto your elbows, spreading your legs farther apart to give johnny one last peek. he saw it, the way his cock slipped out of you and pushed against your slit, oozing with cum he didn’t even know he had in him. he watched the way your cunt throbbed, some of his seed spilling out as you did so. his cock felt hot against your naked thigh, threatening to harden a second time. the opportunity never came, unfortunately, as the exhaustion had a way of overpowering the two of you.

the morning unfolded in a muted haze, each moment stretching out painfully as you navigated through the aftermath of the night before. the air felt heavy, and every sound seemed amplified in the silence of your room. you stood in the shower, the hot water cascading over you, but all it did was intensify the flood of thoughts racing through your mind. “how could you have slept with him?” you cursed yourself repeatedly, the echo of your own voice drowned by the rush of water. “of all people—your best friend. you’ve really fucked this one up.”

you scrubbed at your skin as if trying to wash away the shame and confusion that clung to you, but it was no use. the image of johnny’s euphoric expression, the warmth of his breath against your lips, and the weight of his body pressing into yours lingered like an unwanted tattoo etched in your mind. you knew he must have hated you for what had happened; there was no other explanation.

you paced back and forth in your room, drying your hair with one hand while the other fiddled with your towel. “he’s definitely gonna end our friendship,” you muttered, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “can’t let that happen. i won’t.” determination flooded your veins, pushing back the rising tide of despair. you had to face him. you couldn’t let this ruin everything you had built together.

finally, after what felt like an eternity of agonizing over every possible outcome, you stepped back into the shared space. the sunlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the room in a soft glow, but the beauty of it all was lost on you. johnny was sitting in front of the mirror, hands clasped in his lap, his gaze locked on his reflection. what had he done?

the sight of him sent a pang of regret through your chest, and before you could gather your thoughts, you tripped over the edge of the doorframe, stumbling into the room. a loud clatter echoed through the quiet, and you hissed in pain as you hit the floor. “are you okay?” his voice cut through the silence, concern lacing his tone as he turned to face you.

“oh, yeah. i’m good,” you replied, forcing a nervous laugh as you pushed yourself back to your feet, trying to brush off the embarrassment. but his serious demeanor sent a wave of unease through you. “could we talk for a bit?” his tone was soft yet edged with an underlying tension, and you nodded quietly.

the silence stretched uncomfortably, wrapping around you like a thick fog. you let out a nervous laugh, desperate to break the ice. “woah, i must have alcohol-related dementia, dude,” you said, feigning concern as you tapped your head. “i don’t remember anything, so maybe—” but he cut you off, his voice now colder, sharper. “what? it was all a mistake?”

you froze, the gravity of his words sinking in. you couldn’t let this ruin everything. “yeah, we both made a mistake. we were drunk, right?” your voice was steady, but doubt crept in as you saw something shift in his expression—something dark, something that made you wish you could take back your words. he pulled his shirt over his head, an action so mundane that it sent your heart racing with a different kind of confusion. “since we made a mistake, nothing has to change between us. don’t you think?” the question hung in the air, but he offered no response.

“i'm leaving,” he finally said, his tone abrupt, the finality of it sending a chill through you. you had never seen him like this—so distant, so cold, and the sight of it felt like a knife twisting in your gut. “wait!” you called out, desperation spilling into your voice, but it was too late. he stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him with a resounding thud that echoed in the stillness of the room.

you stared at the closed door, your heart sinking. “shit, dammit. what have i done?” you muttered, the words barely above a whisper as you leaned your head against the wall, the coolness of it doing little to ease the warmth creeping to your cheeks. the panic set in, swirling in your chest like a storm. you were totally, utterly screwed.

the warm, fragrant steam wafting from the bowl of hangover soup enveloped you as you sat in the cozy little restaurant, seeking solace in its rich, comforting broth. each spoonful felt like a balm for your weary soul, a temporary reprieve from the relentless pounding in your head. you stared into the bowl, your mind drifting through the hazy remnants of the previous night, replaying every moment like a film stuck on repeat. just as you began to find some peace within the familiar flavors, the tranquility shattered with the entrance of a familiar figure.

“jeong jaehyun?” you scoffed, catching a glimpse of him as he strolled by, all confidence and charm, his laughter echoing softly as he greeted someone on the other side of the room. you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself, “namaste,” you mumbled, amused by the ridiculousness of it all. yet, as you continued eating, your smile faded, quickly replaced by the weight of your earlier encounter with johnny.

you returned to your soup, lost in your thoughts, when another figure captured your attention. this time, the atmosphere shifted as johnny strolled in, his expression unreadable. your heart raced as he plopped down across from you, and you nearly choked on your soup. for a moment, neither of you spoke. the silence stretched, thick and tense, as if the air itself was waiting with bated breath. then, finally, he broke it. “last night wasn’t a mistake for me,” he admitted, his voice steady but tinged with something deeper, something that sent a jolt through you.

you blinked, disbelief washing over your features. “and things won’t be the same for me, not anymore,” he continued, and your stomach twisted as you processed his words. “i don’t think i can just pretend it didn’t happen.” your eyes fluttered shut, and you exhaled an exasperated sigh. couldn’t he see how complicated this was? you had been careful, guarded—emotions were messy, and you didn’t want to get caught in the web of your own heart. “so, what’s gonna happen now?” you asked, setting your spoon down with a clink that echoed in the stillness between you.

“i don’t think i can be your friend now,” he stated, and with each word, you felt the reality of the situation sink in like a heavy stone. your eyes widened in realization, shock flooding through you. “i want you to be my girlfriend,” he said, his voice steady but vulnerable, as if he were laying bare his soul on the table between you.

stunned, you stared at him, mouth slightly agape. “you want us to date just because we slept together once?” you scoffed, incredulity bubbling to the surface. “do you even like me?” his silence was a heavy weight, pressing down on both of you. yes, johnny so desperately wanted to say, yes. but he knew better than to voice it; the fear of rejection loomed larger than his desire to confess.

“see, you can’t even answer that,” you said, your tone softening as the initial shock began to subside, replaced by something heavier—an aching uncertainty. he sighed, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rested upon them. “okay,” he conceded, voice quiet but resolute. “if that’s how you feel, i’ll take care of my feelings.” the finality of his words hung in the air like a thread, ready to snap. but without another glance, he stood up, his chair scraping against the floor with a painful sound.

“what? wait!” you called out, desperation coloring your voice. you wanted to know what was next, where this left you both. but your plea echoed unanswered, only drawing the attention of the nearby diners, their curious gazes flicking toward the two of you. johnny didn’t stop; he was already gone, leaving you alone amidst the clamor of the restaurant. you had opened pandora’s box the moment you kissed him, and now, everything was unraveling.

the hangover that had clung to you since morning seemed to dissolve as the news of jaehyun treating the group to pizza settled in. your appetite, long dormant, returned in full force, and despite the swirling confusion in your mind, the thought of warm, cheesy pizza made your stomach growl. but with that bit of good news came an unwelcome thread of tension—your thoughts immediately jumped to jaehyun, and the secret you’d let slip a few nights before. had someone told him? did he know?

by the time you and the others arrived at the restaurant, the question still haunted you, but you masked it with a neutral smile as you slid into the seat next to jaehyun. he gave you a polite smile, the kind that was effortlessly charming but hard to read. “hey, haven’t seen you in a while,” he greeted, his tone light but pointed.

“yeah, could say the same,” you responded, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. the memory of last night’s slip-up echoed in your mind, but before either of you could dive deeper into the conversation, joohyun and seulgi appeared at the table, their presence cutting through the awkwardness. “thanks again, jae,” seulgi chimed, and jaehyun just nodded in his easygoing way. you almost felt a sense of relief, but it was fleeting.

mark and jaehee showed up shortly after, their energy infectiously bright as they took their seats. you turned to greet them, but the moment you did, your heart stopped. johnny was walking with them, and the second you caught sight of him, everything inside you froze. instinctively, you whipped back around, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to compose yourself. but it was impossible to ignore the magnetic pull of his presence; your eyes found his across the table, and suddenly, everything else faded into the background. it was silent and unbearably awkward. the look in his eyes was unreadable, but you couldn’t seem to tear yourself away.

“is it just me or did it just get cold in here?” mark asked with a shiver, his innocent comment cutting through the palpable tension. “you’re totally right, i felt a chill,” jaehee added, throwing a knowing glance around the table. jaehyun shot a quick look between you and johnny, but before he could say anything, the pizza arrived, mercifully shifting the mood. the mixed array of seafood, vegetables, and meat was laid out before you, and you seized the opportunity to break the moment, reaching for a slice—though all you did was pluck a piece of shrimp from it, trying to distract yourself.

“you liar, you said you were on a diet,” joohyun teased, breaking the tension with a playful grin. you waved the shrimp in her face with a smile of your own. “obviously, that’s why i’m only going for the shrimp,” you quipped, trying to ease the growing discomfort in your chest. but just as you thought you might be able to relax, jaehyun’s voice pulled your attention.

“a diet? why, are you seeing someone?” his question was innocent enough, but it hit you square in the chest, your heart sinking as you forced out a laugh. “as if,” you replied, the smile slipping from your face as you caught a glimpse of johnny across the table. “you guys know me better than that.” the words barely left your lips when you noticed the way johnny’s expression fell. his face shifted, and for a brief moment, something in you ached at the sight. but before you could dwell on it, mark, oblivious to the growing tension, slapped his chest dramatically as if struck by a revelation.

“now that we’re talking about it,” he began, addressing johnny with a grin. “how would you like to go on a blind date?” a blind date? you nearly choked on the words as they hit you, your surprise mirrored by johnny’s reaction. it was written all over your face as you watched his expression shift, his attention now fully on mark. “with who?” he asked, his voice calm, but you could sense the curiosity laced within it.

mark leaned in, his smile broadening as he wrapped an arm around johnny’s shoulders. “with my friend. she saw a picture of us and is interested in meeting you.” he sounded excited, unaware of the tightening knot forming in your chest. you noticed Joohyun casting a knowing glance your way, her smirk unmistakable. and though you tried to brush it off, the sting was there, sharp and cutting. johnny seemed genuinely intrigued, and for reasons you couldn’t quite explain, it made something inside you twist painfully. the urge to speak up was overwhelming.

“tell your friend,” you interrupted, your voice steady but betraying your inner turmoil, “that seeing any guy just because she’s lonely won’t end well for her. lonely people will still be lonely even if they date.” the second the words slipped out, you regretted them. the entire table fell silent, all eyes turning toward you, even johnny’s. the weight of your own statement hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. his gaze, cool and unwavering, pierced through you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. his next words were measured, deliberate, as if meant just for you.

“tell your friend,” he began, his voice low, eyes still locked on yours, “that i’m more than interested.” the table erupted into cheers, mark and jaehee clapping in excitement, but you couldn’t bring yourself to join them. the bitter taste of jealousy lingered in your mouth, and though you had no right to feel this way, the emotions churned violently within you. you should’ve been happy for him, for his chance to move on. but as you sat there, staring at him, all you could think about was the shift that had occurred between you. and worse, the possibility that you had lost him for good.

you had sworn you’d keep your mind off johnny tonight, but as the hours dragged on, your resolve crumbled. the stupid dating app you relied on felt more pointless than ever, but it was the only distraction you had. someone named doyoung had caught your attention—well, enough to pull you through another empty evening. his messages were blunt, devoid of charm, but that suited you fine tonight. you didn’t have the energy for anything more. you didn’t want to feel.

“so, should we have a drink first?” his voice barely registered, and frankly, you weren’t even sure his name was doyoung. you were already too tired to care. “or should we just get a place to fuck?” the crudeness of his words slid over you like rainwater. you barely flinched. “i don’t know, whatever you want,” you replied, your tone flat, uninterested. everything around you felt muted, dull. the walk to the bar had been just as cold as your mood, and the cool night air did nothing to clear your head.

you didn’t catch most of what doyoung said next, his voice dissolving into the background as your attention shifted. it wasn’t the open bar that caught your eye—it was the people inside. or rather, him. johnny. and he wasn’t alone.

your heart plummeted at the sight of him, seated at a table with a girl who was undeniably pretty. too pretty. you knew exactly who she was—the blind date mark had set up, the girl who had shown interest in johnny. she was laughing at something he said, leaning in closer, her eyes wide and animated, and the worst part? the smile on johnny’s face. that smile, the one you thought was reserved for moments only the two of you shared. the sight of it on his face while he sat next to her made your stomach churn.

“you know what? let’s drink here,” you blurted out, cutting doyoung off mid-sentence, not even giving him time to process the change in plans. before he could say anything, you grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him toward the entrance, your steps quick and impulsive. embarrassment threatened to flood your chest, but you shoved it aside. how could you care about something like that when johnny was right there with someone else?

you pushed your way through the door, the air inside warm compared to the biting cold of the night. the bar was lit, cozy in a way that didn’t match the knot of tension building in your gut. without hesitating, you yanked out a chair and sat down at the table right beside johnny and his date. you could feel doyoung lingering behind you, confused but compliant, sitting down awkwardly.

the girl didn’t seem to notice, too wrapped up in whatever she was saying to johnny, but he noticed. the moment he saw you, his body tensed, his hand pausing mid-motion, nearly causing him to choke on his drink. you caught the subtle widening of his eyes, the faltering of his smile, and it made your pulse race. “are you alright?” the girl asked him, concerned, and to your horror, she gently reached over to wipe his mouth with a napkin. you felt something in you snap. the intimacy of the gesture, the way she doted on him so casually, it made your blood simmer with a slow burn you couldn’t ignore.

johnny mumbled, “yeah, i’m fine,” but his eyes never left yours. there was a tension there, something hanging heavy in the space between you, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to blur out of focus. doyoung was saying something next to you, but you couldn’t hear him. all you could do was watch johnny, and he watched you right back. the girl turned back to her drink, oblivious to the silent exchange happening between you and her date. you couldn’t stand it any longer. the weight of it all—his new date, the memory of the night you shared, the way he still looked at you like nothing had changed, yet everything had—it was unbearable.

“on second thought,” you said, standing up abruptly, “let’s drink somewhere else.” your voice came out harsher than you intended, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. the words were sharp, and the moment was suffocating. doyoung didn’t argue. he didn’t have to. the look on johnny’s face told you everything you needed to know—and the look you gave him in return? it spoke volumes. but neither of you said a word. Instead, you turned on your heel and walked out, the cold air hitting your face as you left the bar behind, but the tension from inside followed.

you didn’t even sleep with doyoung that night. not that you ever intended to, not really. the weight of everything had sunk too deep in your bones, leaving you tired and restless at the same time. you lied, telling him you had a headache, watching as disappointment briefly flashed across his face before he nodded. the night fizzled out into nothing, and though you managed to fall asleep, it was fitful, and the morning came too soon.

when you woke, the weight of last night still clung to you like a second skin. the frustration hadn’t faded; it had only settled deeper. you dragged yourself through your routine, still fed up, still over it all, and that mood followed you to your classes. normally, you’d exchange greetings or at least acknowledge the smiles thrown your way, but today you couldn’t be bothered. you brushed past them, head down, the clamor of the hallways nothing but a blur of voices.

in the classroom, you practically collapsed into your chair with a heavy sigh, dropping your bag beside you. you closed your eyes, hoping for just a moment of peace. “hey, what’s up with you?” jaehee’s familiar voice cut through your thoughts. he flicked a strand of your hair with a teasing smile, always too perceptive for his own good. “don’t even,” you groaned, swatting his hand away lazily. “too early for your bullshit.”

he chuckled, but before he could say anything more, mark burst into the room, his excitement radiating from him like a shot of caffeine. “guys, guys, guys! this is so big,” he practically shouted, breathless as he skidded to a halt by your desk. his energy was contagious, but you were too far gone to care.

you tried to focus on his words, but it was impossible, especially when johnny followed right behind him. his presence drew your attention like a magnet, even if you wanted to ignore it. he strolled in casually, but when his eyes met yours, they immediately flickered away, his head dropping low as if he didn’t want to be seen. it stung, more than you cared to admit, and you scoffed under your breath. jaehee was already leaning forward, eager for whatever mark had to say. “what? what now?” he asked, practically vibrating with curiosity.

mark pulled up a chair, sliding into the space between you and jaehee, his eyes darting around like he was about to reveal some top-secret information. “jaehyun totally knows we know his big secret,” he whispered, glancing dramatically between you and jaehee. you barely listened, your attention still on johnny. he wasn’t looking at you anymore, but you felt the tension hanging in the air between you like a tightrope about to snap. every little gesture, every glance was loud in its silence.

jaehee let out an exaggerated sigh, completely absorbed in the gossip. “his sex scandal is the best thing i’ve heard all year,” he said with a satisfied grin, turning to you with his hands pressed together the same way jaehyun had. “namaste, (y/n).” you just rolled your eyes, too exhausted to even respond. the scandal, jaehyun, all of it seemed so trivial now compared to the mess you’d tangled yourself in.

before you could even think of something to say, johnny’s voice sliced through the conversation like ice. “sorry to interrupt your gossip circle, but we should hurry up with the art venue.” jaehee and mark murmured in agreement, but you weren’t finished. your frustration boiled over, and before you could stop yourself, you scoffed aloud. “must be in a big hurry to go on a date.”

you hadn’t meant for it to be heard. you thought it was a mutter, a private sting of bitterness for your own ears only. but no. the second the words left your mouth, you knew you’d made a mistake. the room went still, and you felt johnny’s gaze snap to you. his look was hard, challenging, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as if daring you to say more. “yeah, how’d you know?” his voice was sharp, almost condescending, the words cutting through the tension like a blade.

the sarcasm stung, and you couldn’t help yourself. “asshole,” you muttered under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear, before standing abruptly, slinging your bag over your shoulder. you didn’t bother waiting for a response, didn’t care to see the reactions from mark or jaehee. you just needed to get out of there. you stormed out, the noise of the room already behind you, but their voices still echoed in your mind. you knew they’d talk about it. you knew they’d wonder what had gotten into you, what had caused the sharpness between you and johnny. but you didn’t care. you were done listening, done pretending.

walking down the street during your break, the weight of the morning still clung to you. the frustration, the sleeplessness—it all pressed down, leaving you exasperated, thirsty, and just done with everything. you passed cafes and restaurants, each one tempting you with the promise of air-conditioning and iced drinks. but it wasn’t until you spotted a small café, its glass window gleaming in the afternoon light, that something finally caught your eye.

it wasn’t the café itself or the ice cream shop connected to it that made you stop mid-step. no, it was the familiar figure inside that pulled you to a halt, your heart sinking instantly. “johnny?” you murmured under your breath, squinting as if that would somehow change the reality of what you were seeing.

you took a step closer to the window, hoping, praying even, that maybe you were mistaken. but of course, you weren’t. it was him. and, of course, he wasn’t alone. that same girl was sitting across from him, leaning in close as they talked, laughing and eating ice cream together like it was the most normal thing in the world.

a bitter laugh escaped you, low and incredulous. “no fucking way,” you whispered to yourself, eyes narrowing. the sight of johnny, with her, at a café, chatting and laughing, was already enough to twist a knot of irritation in your chest. but it wasn’t just that. no, it was what he was holding in his hand that made the blood rush to your ears.

you couldn’t believe it. the ice cream in his hand, the one he was eating so casually, was the exact flavor that had once united the two of you in disgust. mint chocolate. that flavor. you had talked about it with him, joked about how it tasted like toothpaste, how neither of you could stand it. and now, there he was, happily eating it with her, like none of that mattered anymore. “that son of a bitch,” you muttered, the disbelief turning quickly to anger. you could feel your heart pounding, a bitter taste creeping up your throat. you remembered the day like it had just happened.

it was a few months back, during a group hangout. seulgi had been ordering ice cream for everyone, scrolling through the options on her phone. when johnny walked in, you asked him what flavor he wanted. he slid into the seat beside you as seulgi mentioned getting mint chocolate as her third scoop. both you and johnny had shot her the same look of disgust, so perfectly in sync that seulgi had paused, confused. “what?” she asked, looking between the two of you.

“that’s disgusting,” you had said, your voice filled with mock horror. “yeah, you like eating toothpaste or something?” johnny had added, his face twisted in the same playful revulsion. you both shared a knowing look then, a moment of perfect camaraderie as you dapped each other up, leaving seulgi baffled. it had been one of those little moments that cemented your connection, a silly joke that felt like yours alone.

and now, that same connection felt like it was slipping through your fingers. there he was, eating her ice cream, laughing with her. the same johnny who had once called mint chocolate “toothpaste” now sat across from someone else, seemingly oblivious to everything you had shared. you didn’t want to watch anymore. you had seen enough. you had felt enough. with a bitter scoff, you turned away from the window, your heart pounding with something that felt all too much like betrayal. you didn’t know why it hurt so much—it was just ice cream, just a stupid flavor. but it wasn’t, not really. it was the principle of it, the small betrayal of something that had once made sense between you two, now shattered.

you had pushed yourself over the edge. the drinks had blurred into each other, one after the next, until all you could think about was johnny—his touch, his warmth, the way his smile used to light up his entire face. the memory of him tugged at your mind, shifting from simple thoughts to something more intimate: the scent of his skin, the taste of his kiss, the way his eyes used to lock with yours, as if telling you something without saying a word. you remembered the look he gave you, the one that seemed to say “i love you,” and how you had let it all slip away so easily.

that was why you were now slumped over outside the bar, unable to pull yourself together, the world spinning wildly around you. your body felt heavy, sluggish, and somewhere in the background, you heard mark’s voice, too enthusiastic for the state you were in. “should we go for more drinks?” he asked, but his suggestion was met with disapproval. “we gotta get (y/n) up,” jaehee responded, his voice dripping with concern. everyone seemed to be murmuring in agreement, encouraging you, nudging you to pull yourself together. but you couldn’t. not when johnny consumed your every thought.

while you struggled to stay coherent, johnny was at home, leaning against the railing of his balcony, a can of beer in his hand. the night air was cool, refreshing, but it did nothing to clear the turmoil in his mind. he drank in silence, each sip a reminder of you—of how complicated things had gotten, of how much you confused him, and yet, how much he still cared. his phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with mark’s name. he sighed, half-hoping it would be you on the other end.

“what is it?” johnny answered, the weariness in his voice clear. “yo, you know where (y/n) lives, don’t you? tell me her address,” mark slurred, the telltale signs of alcohol heavy in his voice.

“what do you need it for?” johnny asked, his concern sharpening. “she’s totally wasted, so i’m gonna call her a taxi,” mark explained, and johnny felt his entire body tense. in an instant, the fog of his own buzz dissipated. “i’ll be right there,” he cut in before mark could say anything else. “don’t call a cab. i’ll take care of her.” the call ended abruptly, leaving mark no time to argue.

johnny arrived shortly after in a cab of his own, pulling up just outside the bar. he could hear jaehee muttering something about how expensive the ride must have been, but johnny ignored it, his focus entirely on you. you, sitting on the curb, your hair a mess, your face flushed from too much alcohol, your shoulders slouched in defeat. “go home,” he told the others, his voice firm. “i’ll take care of her.” though hesitant, they eventually nodded, leaving you two alone in the quiet of the night.

“(y/n),” he said softly, nudging your boot with his foot. “come on, get up.” it took a moment, but something in his voice must have registered with you. with a deep, weary sigh, you pushed your hair out of your face and sat up. your gaze met his, and the world around you seemed to slow down. without a word, johnny slipped off his jacket, draping it over your lap. as you glanced at his tattoo, still visible under the dim streetlight, you felt a lump rise in your throat.

he crouched down in front of you and turned his back. “come on, get on,” he gestured, offering to carry you. but you didn’t move. you couldn’t. the second you tried, the tears began to fall, slipping down your cheeks faster than you could stop them. johnny turned immediately, eyes wide with panic. “what? are you crying?” his voice was almost gentle, but you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“how could you do something like that to me, you asshole?” you cried, your words broken by sobs. johnny froze for a second before reaching out to wipe away your tears, but you pushed his hand away, shaking your head. “no, don’t touch me. i don’t wanna be anywhere near a liar like you,” you sniffled, your voice thick with pain.

johnny sighed heavily, clearly exhausted. "what did i do? you're too drunk to make sense right now." he turned his back to you again, insisting, “just get on my back.”

but instead, you swatted him, hard, making him wince in pain. "you're an ass," you cried out, your voice wavering with hurt. “what’s wrong with you?” he asked, rubbing his back.

“you said you hated mint chocolate,” you finally cracked, your voice a mess of frustration and tears. “all this time, i thought you hated it, but i guess you like her enough to like it, you asshole.” johnny blinked, clearly taken aback. “what?”

“and you said you wanted to go out with me,” you continued, choking on your sobs. “get lost. i refuse to talk to a guy who likes mint chocolate.” you covered your ears with your hands, trying to block him out. johnny crouched closer, his face softening as your sobs began to quiet.

“i didn’t eat it because of her,” he finally explained, his voice low. “i tried it because i heard it was good for insomnia. do you know how much trouble sleeping i’ve had because of you?” you were still stubborn, still fighting the truth. “that's bullshit. why would that be because of me?” you demanded.

his eyes softened even more as he met your gaze. “because,” he said quietly, “i can’t stop thinking about you.” for the first time in what felt like forever, you locked eyes with him, and everything else melted away. in his eyes, you saw everything—his confusion, his frustration, his longing. and in yours, he saw your hurt, your vulnerability, and everything you had been holding back. “you loser,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “how could you be hitting on me right now?”

and then, despite everything, he smiled. that same smile you remembered, the one that made your heart skip a beat. “come here,” he murmured, his hand reaching for your hair, pulling you gently toward him. you didn’t resist. the second his lips touched yours, everything else faded. you let him kiss you, and you kissed him back. the warmth of his mouth on yours was intoxicating, soft and slow, as if neither of you wanted the moment to end. when the kiss finally broke, johnny exhaled, his forehead resting against yours.

“don’t even think about,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin, “calling this a mistake.” you nodded, still catching your breath. how could you? even as you felt the world spinning around you, even while you saw stars, you knew this was no mistake.

✧

a/n: this was so unserious lol i love nevertheless

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

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Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

END TO START - LEE TAEYONG X READER

Navi - M.list

Pairing: Soulmate!Johnny x Soulmate! reader, Taeyong x reader. ( Ft Mark, Jungwoo, Ten, Jaehyun, Taeil, Yuta. Mentions Jaemin once.)

Genre: Heavy angst my guys, soulmates au, neo frat au, university au, fluff, Hanahaki Soulmate trope.

Synopsis: Taeyong had been perfectly happy to sit back and watch you and Johnny be together. However, when he starts to notice certain behaviors that are all too familiar, he finds himself unable to watch you slowly die. Just because Johnny may not love you anymore... doesn't mean Taeyong doesn't love you either.

wc: 4.9k

Warnings: Heavy angst, Blood, Mentions of death, suffering, choking, johnny is unfaithful, it's a Hanahaki au so they basically cough up dead and thorned flowers. It's not a graphic description but there are descriptions of pain too, mentions of weight loss due to being unwell, Unrequited love, hurt, Taeyong's been in love with the reader since before her and Johnny got together, heavy rejection, soulmate rejection ( Just because i have written this does NOT mean that i think any one of the nct members would cheat or act thi way. this is pure FICTION.) Please let me know if i have missed any warnings

Note: Hi! I have a few fics in the works but I'm worried I wont get them done for Halloween. So, I am blessing you with this heart-breaking fic. I wanted to release this fic early as a thank you for all your love on Operation Rizz! Now, this is the same frat universe as all my other NCT fics. they can all be read as stand alone though, so don't worry! Any feedback is once again appreciated. I do not own the concept of Hanahaki.

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

Soulmates were supposed to be someone's everything—the one person who was meant specifically for them. Someone you can lean on and cherish, who would dote and adore you. Someone to dish out as much love to you as you unto them. To stay by your side and grow old together. However, some people are already at that stage when they meet their destined person. There was also the worry of some people not having a soulmate. Legend says that only the blessed are gifted with such. 

Gifted? Yes. To many, the Soulmate system is a curse - depending on what type you are assigned to. Tattoos? Easy. Mind reading? Okay a little more difficult. Red string? That practically takes you straight to them.  Eternal life? Near impossible! You could spend many years with someone you thought was a soulmate only to see a wrinkle and realize you aren’t made for each other at all. Seeing things in black and white only to suddenly be overwhelmed with color at a music festival and not know who the hell you’d bumped into in that massive crowd that could possibly be your soulmate. Not everyone even had a soulmate, they could be with whoever they wanted without consequences. 

But there was one type in particular that nobody wanted. Hanahaki. Named after the fictional Japanese Hanahaki Disease. It comes from the Japanese words Hana - meaning flower and Hakimasu - quite literally meaning, to throw up. 

In a soulmate's case, when they first meet each other a seed is awakened. It grows thorned roses - the flowers of love - cradling the person’s heart and twining around inside their lungs. For the most part, other than the occasional flutter and heartburn, it goes unnoticeable. So long as the soulmate reciprocates the feelings of love. But, should one soulmate start to fall out of love? The other will suffer terribly. The flowers will die, the spikey stems squeezing at the organs they were once gently caressing with love. Crushing in their anguish.

Of course, unlike the other soulmate types, there are two ways out of Hanahaki... Let the weight of the unreciprocated love drag on painfully until you die, or convince your health insurance to accept the cost of the operation to remove the offending plants. However, by the time one realizes they are soulmates, it is likely that the bond has already been unreciprocated. 

Taeyong knew this. He knew this because it happened to him. He had once been on the receiving end of the agonizing scratch of dead rose stems climbing up his throat in a mess of blood and wilted petals. Taeyong had nearly died. He recognized the signs clearly and that was the reason he was so shocked to see them in who he did. 

Johnny’s soulmate.

Taeyong first took notice when you walked through the door of the club. A celebration night to celebrate the frat’s anniversary alongside Taeyong’s new choreographer position in the dance studio he works in. Your face had a slightly paler tone and although you were doing a good job at keeping your breathing even… Taeyong recognized the telltale signs of a wince when you took the air in too harshly. 

But when he saw Johnny approach you and press a loving kiss to your forehead, he scolded himself for thinking such things. Taeyong knew something was up though, your smile didn’t meet your eyes and when you congratulated him with a hug, he swore he could feel your body tremble. 

He tried not to worry too much throughout the night but when he saw Johnny by the bar, his charming smile dazzled at some sorority girls that had been invited… Taeyong wondered where you’d gone. The disappointment within him only grew when he watched his best friend and frat brother go home with one of them. 

So, maybe his suspicions were correct. A few weeks passed and he’d not seen a glimpse of you, Johnny hadn’t even uttered your name. The rapper hadn’t had time to sit him down and ask him about the incident. Until now. 

Taeyong dabbed the sweat from his brow with the neckline of his shirt, swiping his water bottle from the floor. He shuffled toward his friend, watching as he grinned at his phone as he typed. He was talking to someone and Taeyong only hoped it was you. That you’d both mended things to stop it getting worse. The thought of it all being a misunderstanding had a relieved smile spreading across his face as he settled on the floor next to Johnny. 

“You texting ____? Tell her I said Hey.” Taeyong said, twisting the cap off his drink to take a swig. Taeyong was almost taken aback at the irritated flash that crossed Johnny’s expression at the mention of your name. 

If Taeyong wasn’t so observant, he would have missed it. Johnny shook his head, swiftly locking his phone when his leader went to peer over his shoulder. “It’s not. It’s Yuki.” 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunched, posture freezing for a moment. “The sorority girl you went home with?” He tried to keep his tone level. Memories of the same thing happening to himself reoccur in his mind. “What about ____?” The question hung awkwardly in the air, Johnny staring at Taeyong as if he’d asked something ridiculous. 

“What about her?” He shrugged. “Just because I do stupid things, doesn't mean I don’t love her. She’s my soulmate.” He paused, an almost defeated sigh sagging at his shoulders. “The only one I got.” 

Taeyong took notice of the slight bitterness in his words. Almost as if he didn’t realize that he did it. “Do you?” 

Johnny rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth opening but no words coming out. Once again, a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah… yes.” He cleared his throat as his voice broke. “I’m sure we’d of noticed by now if I hadn’t.”  Johnny left no room for debate, standing up with a clap of his hands to suggest they continue their lacrosse practice.

You knew. You knew Johnny’s feelings for you were dwindling. You were reminded every time you coughed. Reminded by the way your breath left you in an agonizing squeeze when Johnny would kiss your forehead.  

But, even though you knew… it didn’t make you love him any less. You knew what he got up to when your nights weren't spent together. You didn’t do a thing, didn’t bring it up. You almost tried to ignore it. You loved Johnny. You always would. And, as long as you continued to love him, he wouldn’t have the same fate as you. You would never wish this pain on him even if he was the cause. 

You wished you’d heeded Mark’s seemingly lighthearted warning at the beginning of your relationship. ‘He’s one of my closest friends but he doesn’t always do the right thing, just… please be careful.’ Mark had said one evening. You hadn’t truly understood why he had said it, nor did you get to question him before Johnny had slid his arm around your middle. 

You understood perfectly now. Especially as a sharp tickle wheezed in the back of your throat, your eyes discreetly scanning the new text message from your seat at the very back row of English lit class. ‘Can we rain check date night again? Coach is being a hardass and wants us to stay late.’ For the third week running, the same excuse. Sure, you’d seen Johnny. But Thursday was always date night. Something you’d both stuck to like glue once before. 

Pain twisted in your chest, your breath rough. You brought the sleeve of your hoodie to your mouth, attempting a discreet cough. It didn’t do anything for you, the feeling like you’d swallowed razorblades. The world felt like it was spinning for a moment and you had to close your eyes and count to ten to steady it again. 

One look at your sleeve had you frowning. The next stage had started. You’d read about this. Discoloured petals. You’d only coughed up one but one was enough for you to be sure. With one last attempt at clearing your throat, you brushed the blackened petal to the ground. 

Taeyong shared this class with you. Whilst he didn’t often sit next to you, he was mostly always on the same row. Not many people occupied the back row and so, when he heard the muffled hack come from your direction he had looked over, shoulders tensing as he watched you. 

He approached you at the end of class, watching your sluggish movements as you shoved your laptop back into your bag. “____, Are you alright?” He asked softly, noting the sheen of sickly sweat coasting your forehead. 

Lips pressed firmly together, you nodded. You were certain if you opened your mouth you'd start coughing and choking again but you didn’t want to be rude. “I’m fine.” Bad idea. “Sorry, Yong, I gotta go-” Taeyong had never heard your voice so scratchy and coarse. He had also never seen you flee so quickly before he could even open his mouth, your notepad falling from your unzipped bag as you vanished before his eyes. 

As he knelt down to collect it from the ground, his fingers made contact with a velvety, withered texture. 

A blackened rose petal. 

 The next time Taeyong saw you, you were much worse than he could have imagined. He had only turned up at your apartment because he assumed Johnny had left his phone at your place. He couldn’t really understand the rushed words of ‘Shit! I left my phone at her place, I’m already late!’ When Taeyong offered to go and get it, he naturally thought of your place. 

So when you answered the door, he was standing frozen at the sight of you. Your eyes had bags under them that would put JFK airport to shame. Your complexion was grey, lips cracked and dry. Taeyong could definitely see you’d lost some weight too, your knitted sweater nearly slipping off one shoulder. His gaze caught onto the marks along your neck, long red streaks almost looking like you had been clawing at it in your agony. Your winced call of his name kicked his brain into gear. 

“Now isn’t a good ti-” His hands flew out to rub and pat your back as your words were interrupted. 

Taeyong’s heart broke as he watched you struggle. You couldn’t get your breath, your face turning red from the strenuosity. Taeyong backed you into your apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat you on your couch, disappearing from view for a moment.

You didn’t even take note of what exactly was being thrust under your nose, only that it would catch what your body rejected. One of his hands held the bucket, the other sweeping your hair away from your face. It was all too familiar for him. Except for Taeyong, he had done it alone. 

“It’s okay, ____” He hushed, palm flattened over your back to rub comforting circles. “Breath through your nose and count to ten. It helps.” 

You did as such, shoulders relaxing as the air finally seeped into your lungs. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, sighing at the crimson residue that was becoming all too familiar. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be gently hushed once more. 

“It’s okay, it’ll hurt too much if you talk.” He set the bucket down on the side table. “You should get yourself some grapeseed oil. A teaspoon a day should at least prevent the attacks so often.” Taeyong didn’t look at you as he spoke, his hands busying themselves with opening the small drawer to your coffee table in search of tissues. 

“You mean this?” You rasped, pulling the small droplet bottle from your pocket, and setting it down on the surface before you. Taeyong’s eyebrows creased. 

It was the exact same bottle he was sure he had. Though, catching sight of the label on the bottle he knew it was his bottle. ‘Taeyong’  scribbled messily on the labeled sticker. He looked at you expectantly. 

“Johnny gave it to me.” Just uttering his name sent a pang of hurt through you, a wave of emotion rippling from your jaw to the tips of your toes. 

Taeyong understood immediately, a deep sigh resonating as he nodded once. “He knows then.” To which you nodded, eyes fixed on your lap. 

He had never seen you cry, and he would hate to admit it but your eyes looked pretty when you did. It was as if the glaze of tears enhanced the colors of your iris. “He doesn’t know it’s this bad. He thinks the tickle has just started.” 

“____, you’re dying and you’re telling me Johnny hasn’t noticed yet?” To say that Taeyong was in disbelief was an understatement. The new knowledge that Johnny knew now had floored him. 

Why? Because Johnny hadn’t once let it show. Taeyong had been around the guy all week and he was still the happy comedic genius he always was. Not a hint of anything bothering him. 

“Yong, It’s okay. I..” You drew your knees up to your chest, patting the spot next to you for him. “I’ve come to terms with it.” 

“Come to terms with it?!” He spluttered. “____, you are in your twenties! You can’t be okay with dying in your twenties.” His hand raked through his hair, eyes blinking rapidly like he couldn't come to terms with how calm you looked right now. 

Taeyong could feel the anger bubbling up in his chest, his gaze hardening as he addressed you once more. “You know he’s been seeing her too, don’t you?”

You were silent, shame eating at your subconscious. “If I ignore it then he won’t have to be like this too.” 

Taeyong sprung up to his feet. “Wake up! He’s out there living his life with no regrets and you’re the one to suffer? I can’t…” He shook his head, shoving his clenched fists into his pockets. “I’m sorry, I just-” With one last shake of his head, Taeyong left you there. The slam of your front door announcing his absence.

Johnny remembered the conversation between the two of you very clearly. He was convinced he still loved you a lot. Just not in the way you need. At first, he thought it was doubt, but as time went on he started to notice the dry tickly cough and the abundance of petals scattered in your trash. He was sure it wasn’t harmful yet, certain that he still held the love in his heart for you. 

Johnny didn’t love Yuki. She was fun. She was different. She wasn’t you. He could spend time with her without any strings attached. It was freeing, knowing he wasn't destined to be with her no matter what. 

He felt guilt at first. He didn’t like lying to you, but it was for his own selfish gain that he did. Johnny had seen Taeyong go through the pain and near death of a soulmate falling out of love, he didn’t want that for himself. Johnny had too much to live for, as arrogant and self-centred as that sounded. 

 He remembered what you said when he gave you the vial of grapeseed oil, how your shaky hands had placed over his own. How you told him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. But Johnny couldn’t help but think it was. Johnny tried so hard to make himself love you still. Your words of comfort swirled in his mind and kept him up at night. ‘Nobody can help who they do and don’t love. Feelings change, People don’t’ You’d said to him.

Johnny felt ashamed. Being unfaithful to you whilst you still loved him with every ounce of your soul. Deep down, Johnny knew you only had two options he just hoped you made a decision before it was too late. 

Taeyong had been seen by barely anyone all week. It was as if he was attending his classes and then picking up every extra shift or odd job imaginable. The Neos were even more shocked when Mark slapped a flier down on the dining table ping pong table in front of some of the brothers. A for sale flier, advertising their frat leader’s motorcycle. The very same one that he cherished and spent a fortune to modify. 

“Do you think he’s in debt?” Jungwoo frowned, setting his beer on the table. 

That question alone earned a chortled laugh. “Woo, we’re in university. We’re all in debt.” Yuta clapped him on the back. “But, on a serious note, He’s been acting super weird lately.” 

Everyone launched into debate, trying to determine why Taeyong would be selling his pride and joy so suddenly. Conversation ceased when the front door opened and the man in question shuffled into the open-plan living space with an exhausted wave. 

“Ty, are you actually selling the bandit?” The question came from Taeil, Neo frat’s oldest member. 

Taeyong moved through the living area, taking a seat at one of the beanbags littered around the table. “Already sold it.” He bobbed his head in a nod. 

It earned him many concerned looks. “Are you in trouble or something? Are you trying to cover the water bill from when Mark broke the faucet?” 

“No, Jae. I’m not in trouble. It’s not for me.”  He reassured, his voice dying down quietly. “It’s for ____.” 

Everyone stopped. Mark locked his phone, Yuta stopped chipping at his nail polish, and Taeil nearly spat out his beer. Jaehyun and Jungwoo were already staring at him. 

“Why?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, anticipating the question.It didn’t take long for him to catch them up to speed.  “You haven’t noticed? I can’t watch her die. Even if she’s come to terms with it.” 

“She’s not been to class for a few weeks. Professor Choi just straight-up skips over her name now. I’m guessing they know.” Jaehyun hummed. 

“Hm, Jaemin said he saw her last week on his midnight ramen run.” Mark recalled, “Said she looked like something out of living dead.” 

“Mark,” Taeyong gave him a warning look. The younger just shrugged his shoulders. “I’m going to book the operation for her. She doesn’t know. I just need the deposit. After that, it’s monthly payments. I can scrape enough together for the monthly just fine.” He looked pained. “Whenever I see her, it’s like I’m watching myself go through it again.” 

One by one, Jaehyun, Mark, Jungwoo, Yuta, and Taeil offered their help. 

The six of them didn’t make it known what their plans were but soon enough, after Taeyong had put what he had already saved with what the others offered, it was enough. He rocked up to the private medical center, cash in an envelope that was tucked neatly within the inside pocket of his jacket. 

Taeyong was pleasantly surprised that he was allowed to schedule and pay the deposit on your behalf. Acting on best interest. The receptionist did stress that you needed to fill in the form and sign consent upon arrival but Taeyong was more pleased that he was giving you a chance at life. That there was a possibility that you could carry on.

What he didn’t expect, was your immediate refusal when he brought the leaflet and forms over to your apartment the following morning. The smile dropped from his face as you tried to hide away from him.  ‘He could die.’ You’d cried at him. And whilst it had been proven he wouldn't, you were convinced. 

“He won’t, ____.” Taeyong begged. “Please, you can’t just accept this.” The bed dipped as he sat on the edge. The many times he had visited you now, you had always been. The last time you got up to open the door, Taeyong honestly worried that you would pass away right there on the doorstep. He took your spare key after that. 

Taeyong’s gentle fingers lifted the damp wash cloth from the bowl at your bedside, running the cool material over your brow and cheeks. A light smile twitched at the corner of your lips, the sensation easing your fever, only a little but it was better than before. He knew he wasn’t going to get many more words from you this evening. You’d exhausted yourself already for the evening. Taeyong was just content enough to sit here and care for you. 

Honestly, before it was known that you were Johnny’s soulmate, Taeyong had hoped you’d notice him. He had often found himself wishing that it wouldn’t last so he could at least have a shot with you. His hopes were crushed when Johnny had run through the fraternity declaring you were both soulmates. Taeyong had made peace with the idea that maybe he was meant to be alone, satisfied just by seeing you whenever Johnny brought you over to hang out. 

He never wished for this, though. 

Tenderest of touches brushed your hair away from where it had clung to your forehead. Taeyong clicking on the standing fan in an attempt to offer you some cool relief. “Trust me, ____.” He whispered, voice brittle. “I went through this.” His confession had your right eye cracking open. 

“Back in the first year,” Taeyong recalled. “Watching you and Johnny go through this… it’s like a mirror. I nearly died,” He picked up your hand, engulfing it in both of his own. “I refused the operation until it was nearly too late. For the same reason, actually.” 

Your fingers twitched in his own, your index finger hooking around his thumb to offer comfort. You have suspected Taeyong had some close experience with this. Especially in the way he always seemed to understand your pain, the sad gazes, and his drive to help you. You had never expected that he would be the one in your position though. The meer thought had tears welling up in your eyes. You seemed to cry a lot around the man these days. 

“He didn’t die though. Apparently, he just… coughed up the root.” He lifted your hand, the ghosting feeling of his lips against your knuckles. “I promise you, Johnny won’t die… At least think about it.” To which you nodded in agreement. 

Taeyong made you soup, your favorite kind. You weren’t even sure how he knew it was your favorite but he did. He parted from you with a lingering kiss to your hairline. Just like every night. This form of unrequited love seemed to of hurt him more than his last. 

He’d left the forms and leaflets on the empty bed space by your feet.

You’d asked Taeyong not to come over for the last four days. As worried as he was, he had to respect your wishes. You didn’t want him to see your sudden decline as you entered the last stage of the rejection. Meaning, that Johnny had almost fallen completely out of love with you now. 

You were expecting it, Taeyong too. You and Johnny had broken things off the last time you saw each other. Both of you doing so without even having to clarify the matter. He was free. Almost. 

Taeyong had been stressed all week, even his frat brothers had given him a wide berth. Many put it down to the lacrosse game the pending evening. Only a select few really knew that it was because today was the same day Taeyong had scheduled for your surgery. 

He hadn’t known it was the same day as the game, Jungwoo uttering the words with caution the day before. Taeyong swore to himself that he thought he booked it for next week. He didn’t even know if you were going to accept it… Any time he brought it up you tended to change the subject. 

How Taeyong managed to even pass the ball with steady swings amazed even himself, his hands hadn’t stopped shaking. He had nearly skipped the game in favor of being with you, but he knew he couldn’t.  The game had gone smoothly, they were winning by one. In fact, Johnny had to take the penalty shot. 

The whole field waited on bated breath, all eyes on Johnny as he just stood there, his expression morphed in such a way that Taeyong exchanged a look with Jaehyun.

“Seo! Take the damn shot already!” The coach didn’t even get through his ending word before Johnny’s form curled over, knees slamming into the ground. 

Taeyong rushed over as his friend tore off his helmet and spat his mouthguard to the ground. He would worry about that later. Taeyong slid to his knees beside Johnny, his own helmet crashing to the ground out of his grip. 

Johnny had never felt such pain. His airways were burning. The sensation in his chest felt like all the oxygen was being torn from him. The team crowded around him, blocking anyone else's view of the scene.  A choked cough left his throat, a shout of agony following after. Petals. Blood. Stems.  The flower was unwinding itself, pulling at the roots from within his chest and lungs. 

The team managed to maneuver Johnny back to the locker rooms, it took four of them to carry him but soon the male was slumped against the tiles of the showers. Taeyong was beside him once again. “Cough it up Johnny, you’ll do more damage if you don’t.” He tugged Johnny’s arm to sit him forward, his fist thumping down in the center of his back. “Johnny, come on!” 

To say Taeyong was relieved when Johnny finally started coughing again was an understatement. “You gotta carry it on, it’ll hurt but I’ve got you.” He pleaded over the sound of his friend’s cries and chokes. 

Johnny doesn’t know how long he continuously coughed for. All he knew was the last one to shake through his body finally offered him release, Taeyong tugging him away from the mangled mix of plant and blood only to rip him, Johnny, from his shock-induced state by shoving him under the freezing cold shower stream - kit and all. 

A big, clear breath left him. 

“What the fuck, John?” Ten peaked his head around the corner, having raced in after the team to check on his best friend. 

“Dude, that's your flower.” Mark grimaced, crouched down next to the offending object. 

The announcement made Johnny’s spine straighten, and Taeyong hung his head. “What does it mean?” Johnny shakily stood, pressing the button to stop the stream of cold water. 

It was fascinating how Johnny already felt better. He felt no pull in his chest, no weakness even after the whole ordeal. He felt new. But if he felt like this… then what had happened to you? The realization of what had happened weighed heavy on his guilt. 

He turned to address the sort of traumatized, faces around him but it wasn’t him that spoke up. It was Taeyong. “It means I need to find ____.” 

Taeyong had raced past his teammates and into the locker room without any further explanation. His phone cramped between his ear and shoulder as he tugged on his sweats at record speed. “C’mon, Petal. Pick up.” He swore to himself, only removing the device from his ear to throw on a t-shirt from his locker. It was a term of endearment he had taken to calling you of late, though quite often when you were too dazed to notice. 

He ignored the looks of confusion from his friends. Well, from those other than Mark and Jaehyun. From the look on Johnny’s face, he was still piecing things together. Taeyong didn’t have time for that, snatching the keys for the beat-up Honda he had gotten recently and sprinting from the room. 

Taeyong continued to call you on the way to your apartment. He had just hoped you’d gotten yourself to the appointment. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you like this. He found himself afraid to enter your building, scared of what he may find. His head thumped against the steering wheel, eyes burning with unshed tears. You had to be okay. 

His phone buzzed, body jumped when he saw your name flash on the screen. He swiped to answer, bringing it up to his ear with a relieved sigh. “____.” He listened to your breathing for a split second, registering the steady beeps in the background. 

“Is he alive?” Your tone was filled with urgency but your voice was clearer than Taeyong had heard in weeks. It had a relieved laugh bubbling from his chest, salty droplets cascading down his cheeks and leaving his tear ducts with the tension in him. 

“He’s fine.” He sniffled, rubbing at his face. “ Petal, you’re okay. I tho-” You interrupted him with a soothing call of his name. 

“You were right.” He listened to you pause, the sounds of you sipping through a straw present in the receiver. “There are things I do have to live for.” You spoke quietly. “The first one being myself.” 

He hummed in agreement, starting up the car again. “Yeah? I’ll be there soon and you can tell me all about the second, Petal.” He was rewarded with a breathy laugh. “What?”

“Petal.” You murmured, Taeyong could hear the slumber lingering back into your tone. 

“Get some rest. I’ll be there soon.” He was about to pull the phone away from his ear when you quietly called his name again. 

“Yes?” He hummed, clicking the hands-free and setting the phone into the holder on the dash. 

“Can I tell you my second reason?” 

“What’s that, Petal?” He smiled softly to himself. 

“It’s you.”

©Acescavern - I do not give permission for my works to be copied, translated or reposted

✨Would NCT 127 fuck with a fat girl but it’s based on my honest opinion as a fat girl✨

This is all based on my opinion, if you don’t like my opinion that’s nice. Keep it to yourself😊

Taeyong: Yes 100%. Did y’all see that like short thing he did, idk if it was a commercial or what it was but the woman in it was plus size. Also, he exudes so much confidence all the time that I can’t really see him being ‘picky’. By that I mean, images don’t really matter to him, if he vibes with you he vibes with you.

Taeil: I don’t see him like actively seeking out a plus size person but I don’t think he’d be against it either. Idk what to say other than that, he isn’t against it or anything. Just neutral.

Johnny: I’ve seen a lot of people say he’s a no but I just can’t see it. I think he’s another one who doesn’t see body type as a big deal and if he finds you hot he finds you hot yk🤷 I think he would actually quite enjoy a plus size partner because he’s so tall and skinny. A shorter chubby girl would just be so cute to him.

Yuta: OMG YES. Yuta is like the only member who I think actually prefers big girls. He love love loves it when his lady’s got a tummy and thighs. Nakamoto Yuta would fuck a big girl today, tomorrow, any day of the week. Honestly he’s probably doing it right now.

Doyoung: Hmmmm no probably not. I just can’t see it no matter how hard I try. I don’t think he’s like fat phobic or anything, but I don’t think he’d be attracted to plus size people. Sorry🤷

Jaehyun: Idk tbh. It’s hard for me to get a read on him. Like on one hand I can’t really see him with a big girl, but on the other I can see him being against being with a big girl yk? Idk, lmk what y’all think.

Jungwoo: Jungwoo simply doesn’t date. Idk what it is but I don’t see him actively seeking out anyone. He’s maidenless😭

Mark: I think his type is probably thicc girls. Like hourglass figure little chubby type beat. Idk, I feel like he’s one of those guys with a ‘weight limit’ like no one over 200 yk. Also cause I don’t think Marks self esteem could handle dating someone bigger and possibly stronger than he is.

Haechan: Okok so. I was talking with my friend about this and she said he wouldn’t cause he has internalize fat phobia cause of his experience with the members *cough*Jisung*cough* targeting him for being ‘chubby’ (he’s not, like, at all). HOWEVER I feel like if he met a plus size person who was not only a sexy beast but also hella confident in themselves and their body????? He’d be foaming at the mouth. I think he finds chubby girls to be the cutest thing on the planet and would definitely be down to get with one at all times.

comfort cuisine

🌙 starring. Johnny Suh x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. You’ve never felt a feral need like this before, but it’s not necessarily the primal type of drive. Instead, it’s a feeling of wanting to be close to this man- who you’ve been next to for so many years, but unable to touch. Except, he’s touching you now, and you want more.

tw/cw. unprotected sex, breast worship/massaging, big dick Johnny, fingering, pussy stretching prep, 'it's finger licking good,' praise, dirty talk, masturbation, multiple reader orgasms, cumming together, creampie, soft sex, longing, fluff, etc… I pet names: (hers) honey.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 10.8k

🍭 aus. aged up/widower dad!John, best friends to lovers, Chef!John, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. I'm so happy that people loved Line Chef Mark in my fic Real Talk, I received so many messages about giving Head Chef John his own love story, and this is what I came up with in the past four months :) it's a little different from what I normally do, but I wanted to continue with that 'slice of life' theme and venture into a plot line I've never tried before with widower/single dad John :)

Prologue

“I’m so sorry about this,” Johnny’s voice distracts you from the breakfast you’re making, and you turn around from the bacon to look at your friend. “I really wish I didn’t have to keep calling you and asking for favours like this-”

“Johnny,” you shut his rambling up with a pointed expression, “stop, it’s okay.”

“It’s not-”

“John,” you repeat, “seriously, we’re good. Given… the circumstances, I honestly don’t mind.”

The circumstances… neither of you can bring yourselves to say it. You know that if you say it… if you say ‘I don’t mind helping out since the death of your wife’ Johnny will just about break down, and he doesn’t have time to do that, not when he’s got to be at work for seven am, prepping the kitchen and getting ready for the day.

Even by calling this situation a ‘circumstance,’ you can see a half glazed expression overtake Johnny’s face. He’s frozen for a moment, and you take the time to study him.

You think it’s safe to say neither of you expected any of this to happen. 

You’d met him in culinary school- he’d been a young guy, a new dad who’d had a daughter at nineteen, with dreams of opening his own sandwich food truck, ‘like Subway, but gourmet,’ he’d always explained. 

Now, he’s a twenty four year old wreck, doing his best to climb the ladder in the food service industry, mourning the loss of his late wife, struggling to take care of his daughter, his dreams of a food truck long since forgotten in favour of chasing a head chef status to earn him enough of a salary to pay for everything in a one income household-

“Seriously,” your words snap the single dad back from his zone out, “we’re good. I’m making breakfast for Soonbok, I’ve got her lunch packed, I’ll take her to kindergarten, pick her up after- you just have to remember I have a night shift, gotta be at my own restaurant by five at the latest.”

“Five, yeah,” Johnny nods, swallowing thickly and toying with his daughters small pink backpack. “One day, I’ll be higher up on the food chain, and I’ll have better hours- I promise this isn’t a forever thing.”

“It’s an ‘as long as it needs to happen’ thing, okay? Don’t sweat it,” you assure him. “Here,” you take some of the crispy bacon out of the pan, putting it onto a scrambled egg bagel you’d prepared, “you need breakfast too.”

Johnny just about melts looking at the food. “You’re so good to me.”

You offer him a smile. “That’s what friends are for.”

One

Johnny swears his age is catching up to him. It’s not even four oclock and he’s feeling tired, letting out a groan as he says goodbye to the nightshift guys and heads to change out of his head chef attire in the staff bathroom. He’d turned thirty this year, and as he looks at his face in the mirror, he thinks he’s starting to see it.

On his way out of the back door, Johnny bumps into one of his line cooks. Mark Lee is pressed to the wall where people usually lean to smoke, his girlfriend closing him in with her hands on either side of his head. Back when she was expo, everyone used to call her Sunshine, but in her dealings with Mark Lee, Johnny’s come to realize that he’s the angel, not her. 

“Aren’t you two on the clock?” Johnny jokes as he walks past.

Sunshine pulls away from Mark, offering the head chef a grin. “We’re on a vape break.”

“Sure you are,” Johnny laughs, shaking his head.  “See you two back in there, better only be five more minutes.”

“Aren’t you done for the day?” Mark asks, confusion written on his face, along with lipstick marks that he’s hurrying to wipe off.

“Grabbing happy hour with a friend, but be careful Mark Lee, I’m always watching. Just because I’m sitting at the bar doesn’t mean I’m not judging you.”

Johnny can hear Mark mutter something under his breath, and Sunshine is quick to try to calm him down, but as Johnny turns the corner to head to the front entrance of the restaurant, he hears the back door open and close, signaling the end of the little ‘vape break.’

When Johnny joins you at the bar, you’re chatting with Jeno, and the sight makes an unexplainable emotion tingle up his spine. Out of all the front of house staff here, Jeno might just be the biggest manwhore, and he’s had a thing for cougars for a while, although there’s only a handful of years difference between the two of you-

“What are you guys talking about?” John asks, taking a seat on the dark green leather hightop stools surrounding the bar.

“Which virgin drinks are the best,” you respond casually. “I was going to get an iced tea, but Jeno convinced me to try one of your new virgin lemon ginger fizzes.”

“That’s called upselling, honey, you should know that, seeing as you’re in the industry,” Johnny grins.

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who invited me here, so I figured you’d be paying.” You take a sip of your straw, looking at Johnny with a smirk, a playful glint in your eyes. 

“Are we getting food?” Johnny asks. “I might as well take care of that for you too.”

“I’ve got time,” you respond casually. “Don’t work for an hour, lets get our ‘nosh’ on.”

Johnny can only laugh at your antics, turning to Jeno, who’s watching with an amused grin. Everyone here knows you and Johnny are close, you come here often enough to see him, the two of you catching each other for a half an hour here or there between his day shifts and your night commitments. 

Johnny orders three appetizers off the happy hour menu, two things he knows you like, and one that’s more up his alley. “Make sure Yuta isn’t back there slacking off,” Johnny warns Jeno, knowing that two of the items will be coming from the ‘bottom end’ of the expo line, which is where Yuta runs the show after Johnny’s off.

“I’m sure he’ll pull out all the stops for our MVP,” Jeno grins, typing the order into an ipad. “Do you want a beer? We’ve got new rotators.”

“Don’t bother trying to upsell me,” Johnny scoffs. “House Lager, and don’t fuck around with the foam.”

“You run a tight ship here, captain,” you tease, bumping Johnny’s elbow.

“Speaking of-”

“Don’t try to recruit me to work here again,” you’re quick to warn.

“Damn it,” Johnny shakes his head, pretending to be quite upset about your rejection. He does feel it- he does think you’d be a great member of the team, and he’d love to offer you a dual head chef position, but it’s not in his power to do so, and that fact haunts him every day. Working for a company limits what he’s able to do, and sometimes, even at age thirty, Johnny still thinks about his dream to open a food truck, with you by his side. “No, in all seriousness, I wanted to talk to you about Soonie’s birthday.”

“Right, she’s turning eleven soon, that’s quite the milestone,” you grin, playing with your straw.

“I asked Doyoung if I could open early for her birthday, it’s a Sunday, I was thinking some of her friends and their parents could come in for a brunch an hour before we’re open for the public.”

“That’s a great idea!”

“Here’s the catch, Soonie was raised on your breakfast food. As much as I try to make things for her, and I hate to admit this, by the way, she always says your cooking is better. So I was thinking… maybe you’d want to come in that day and help me out with all of this. With your skills, I wouldn’t need Hyuck and Mark, it could be just us, and I’m sure we could make a birthday breakfast Soonbok would never forget. It would be like old times, like back when we were in culinary school.”

He loves the way you’re smiling at him, giving him space to rant. 

When he’s done, you cock your head to the side, only wasting one beat before you say, “I’ll do it.”

“Really? I don’t have to bribe you with money or anything?”

“Jeeze, have I ever asked you for money, John?” You smack at his arm, clearly slightly offended. “I’m doing this for Soonie… and maybe a little for you too.”

“Don’t go soft on me, killer,” Johnny teases. “Everyone around here’s too soft these days.”

“Says the softest dad I know,” you roll your eyes. 

“Shh,” he warns, “don’t say that loud enough for Jeno to hear.”

“As if everyone doesn’t already know.”

The two of you continue to chat and joke, a short while later, the head manager, Doyoung, shows up carrying food. It’s funny for Johnny to see Doyoung balancing two items on one arm, the third in the palm of his hand, but he supposes Doyoung started somewhere too, the same way John had. 

“VIP happy hour appetizers,” Doyoung sighs, setting the food down. 

“As opposed to regular happy hour appetizers?” you grin, immediately reaching for a fry.

“These are special,” Doyoung insists, “pretty sure Yuta spit in them.”

Doyoung is a pretty regal man, he’s not one to joke around- but for some reason, when Doyoung is in your vicinity, he loosens up a little. Everyone loosens up around you, you radiate a safe space kind of energy, the kind of energy that makes Johnny’s tense shoulders relax, his smile softening.

“Then I’ll be sure to eat all of this,” you respond. “Tell Yuta more spit.”

Doyoung shakes his head at you. “I’m sure Johnny’s tried to poach you already, but if you ever want a job, you can have his.”

“Hey!” Johnny laughs.

“I’ll consider it,” you grin.

“And I expect a plate of food for this brunch thing,” Doyoung continues. “I’ve heard nothing beats your breakfasts, even though you work nights.”

“Someone has been talking about me again,” you muse, eyes shifting to John.

“What can I say?” He holds his hands up in defense. “I speak only the truth.”

“Your reputation precedes you,” Doyoung insists. “Anyways, have fun you two, I’ve got food to run, our new expo girl isn’t filling Sunshine’s shoes too well.”

There’s a glint in Doyoung’s eye before he scurries away, and Johnny turns to watch the new expo girl practically short circuiting with take out orders on the line. 

“Poor girl,” you sigh. “It takes a certain kind of person to work in a restaurant.”

And an even more specific type to do what the two of you do as chefs.

Two

You’ve been on a few first dates this year, and this one is definitely a bottom three. You’ve had one drink, and you already feel like finding a way to slip out early. 

Initially, you’d been intrigued by dating a man in finance, but it’s clear now that you’re in two completely different worlds- and to make matters worse, he mostly talks about himself. He’s oozing this obnoxious confidence that makes you grimace every time you sip your drink, and not from the alcohol.

Your date is in the bathroom when Johnny calls.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you!” His voice warms your heart. “So Soonie is at a sleep over tonight, and I was thinking about making a Soonbok style menu for her birthday, all Soonie style names for food and such, planning a menu just for her- are you up to anything? Can I go through it with you?”

“Actually…” your gaze shifts to the bathrooms, “I’m on a date.”

“Oh.”

“It’s going so bad, and planning Soonie’s birthday would be such a better use of my evening. Listen, can you come pick me up? I’ll text you the address, you can come and call me when you’re outside, pretend it’s a family emergency or something-”

“You got it, I’ll be there right away.”

Fifteen minutes later, you’re hopping into Johnny’s car, letting out a deep sigh of relief.

“That bad, huh?” he asks.

“I don’t even want to talk about it right now,” you groan. 

“Here, distract yourself,” Johnny hands you a piece of paper, and you realize it’s a mock up menu for Soonbok’s birthday. “This is just a prototype, I was messing around with styles on some fucking site called Canva-”

“I didn’t know you were good at this sort of thing,” you gasp, taking in the intricate fonts and colouring.

“The site did all the work, trust me,” Johnny scoffs, pulling out into traffic. “Read it over and let me know what you think.”

You begin to scan the menu. There’s Soonie Side Up Eggs, and Boken Avocado Bennies, Soonbok Style Slapjacks and Suh Family Breakfast Sammies. 

“I’m shocked you came up with this many names related to Soonie and Suh,” you say.

“I spent my entire shift thinking about them in the back of my mind while I worked,” Johnny admits. “They’re not cheesy or anything, right?”

“They’re definitely cheesy,” you confirm, “but Soonie is going to love them. You’ve always been cheesy, John, and she adores you for it.”

You notice Johnny’s skin turning a little red, and it’s not just from the reflection of the traffic light illuminating the inside of his car while you wait for it to go green. 

You continue to study the menu, thinking hard the entire way back to Johnny’s house.

He’s got a modest three bedroom townhouse, with his and Soonbok’s rooms on the top floor, and the guest bedroom on the main floor with the kitchen and living room. The kitchen is, without a doubt, the heart of the home, and the two of you make your way there as soon as you’re past the threshold.

“I have some thoughts,” you admit, setting the menu down and pointing at one of the items. “Soonbok toast,” you announce, a twist on french toast, “it says here that it comes with a berry compote. I can tell that this is one of the dishes more geared toward others, because if this was really for Soonie, you’d know that your daughter doesn't even touch berry or apple crisps. She picks at the oat brown sugar on top, but doesn’t like cooked berries or fruits.”

“Yeah…” Johnny leans next to you, scratching the back of his neck. “That was the only one I wasn’t sure on, but for brunch, you have to have a french toast option, right?”

“We can still do french toast, but I think every menu item should be something she’d actually love, don’t you agree?”

“A hundred percent.” 

“What if, instead of berry compote, we do an brown sugar glaze type sauce?”

“That could be doable,” Johnny admits. “Should we try to make one now?”

“Can we do it in the morning?” you ask. “Honestly, I had one drink at the bar, I’m tired after a long shift, and I’m ready to have a few more drinks then pass out.”

“Drinks are a good idea,” Johnny grins, already heading to the fridge. “It will give me more time to think about how to make the brown sugar glaze, and I’ll get on top of that in the morning.”

“Exactly. Chef hours are over, we can just relax,” you insist, heading to collapse on his couch.

“Chef hours are never over,” Johnny reminds you, cracking open a beer and approaching so he can hand it to you.

“It’s one of the reasons dating is so hard in our profession,” you sigh, taking a swig of your drink.

“The hours make it tough,” Johnny nods. 

“So does the mentality,” you remind him. “We just… we think a little differently than others. We’re all a little too committed to our work.”

“That’s not always a bad thing, you’ve just gotta find someone you’re compatible with, someone who will appreciate that about you.” 

“Says one single chef to the other,” you laugh.

Johnny clinks his bottle against your own before taking a large gulp. “Touche.”

Three

Johnny is doing his best to work quietly, aware that the guest bedroom is just a short distance from the kitchen as he whips up eggs for the french toast batter. 

He manages to get all the way through to the cooking before you sleepily putter into the kitchen, adorned in one of his spare shirts for when you sleep over unexpectedly. You look adorable, but Johnny can’t bring himself to focus on you as he perfects the brown sugar glaze, careful not to burn it.

“Almost done,” he calls over his shoulder, “take a seat then try this with me?”

“It smells good,” you tell him, pulling out a chair at the island kitchen counter. 

“Thanks, honey, I was up last night thinking about it- had to wake up early to try it out.” He lifts the french toast onto a plate, dipping a spoon into the glaze to coat the breakfast. “I hope I didn’t wake you up?”

“The smell did,” you muse, grinning as he brings the french toast toward you, setting it down and opening a drawer to retrieve two sets of utensils.

The two of you cut into the toast, and you lift your fork. “Cheers,” you grin, and Johnny touches his food to your own before you both go in for a bite. 

The french toast is cooked to perfection, and although the brown sugar glaze is a little sweet for his liking, Johnny knows Soonie’s sweettooth will appreciate this adjustment to the recipe.

But when Johnny lifts his gaze to you, he sees apprehension in your eyes. “Did you like it?” he enquires.

“It’s really good, don’t get me wrong,” you assure him quickly, “I just think… maybe it’s missing one or two things.”

“Like what?”

“Mmm…” you cock your head to the side, “we both know Soonbok is a fan of nuts, peanut butter is her usual go to but she likes others too- what if we finely chop some pecan or walnut and add that in somehow?”

“That could work,” Johnny nods. 

“Do you mind if I take a crack at it?” you ask. 

Johnny laughs. There are very few people he’ll allow to use his kitchen, and luckily you’re the one at the top. You’ve been cooking here for so many years that he doesn’t have to guide you to anything, you stand up and immediately go in search of details to make your french toast masterpiece come to life, and Johnny happily takes a back seat while he finishes his own creation.

You go for a bag of pecans, dumping a small amount onto a cutting board before you begin to finally chop, leaving an array of different sizes of chunks. Soonie has always been a texture specific child, and Johnny loves how you incorporate all the little quirks of his daughter into your cooking like this.

In a pan with some butter, you begin to toast the nuts, getting prepped on your bread by using the already made batter he’d created earlier. As you put the toast into the pan and check the nuts, you cock your head to the side again, an endearing trait you do when you’re thinking.

“What about oats?” you suggest. 

“Do whatever you think is best,” Johnny encourages you, heading to the fridge to grab some orange juice and a nearly empty bottle of prosecco he’d opened for a recipe two nights ago.

Johnny watches you add oats to the browning pecans while he makes mimosas, and in no time at all, you’re plating the french toast, with a spoonful of the newly toasted additions, and a few spoonfuls of brown sugar glaze.

“There,” you announce, bringing the food to the table. “I added a bit of cinnamon and brown sugar to the buttered nuts and oats while you were making drinks.”

“Cheers,” Johnny grins, lifting a forkful of your creation to gently touch it to your own.

As soon as he bites into it, Johnny knows that this is a winner. The crunch of the nuts, and the oats- the added fats of the butter- the slight taste of cinnamon on the toppings- 

“Wow,” he breathes, leaning back in his chair. “Soonie really wasn’t joking when she said you’re the best breakfast chef in town.”

“Stop it,” you laugh. “You made the glaze! We did this together!”

Johnny goes for a second bite. “This is the stuff that will stick to your ribs,” he muses, not caring that the calorie content was just inflated by the addition of butter and nuts, “Good ol’ comfort food.”

“No, John, you’re a head chef now, this is comfort cuisine,” you correct him with a grin. 

Johnny swears your eyes are sparkling as you smile at him, and it makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. It’s times like these that he realizes just how smitten he is with you. You’ve been there for him, through thick and thin. There’s no way he’d be where he is now without you, and he’s not even sure if you know the full extent of it.

But at the same time, because you’re his rock, Johnny doesn’t want to overstep. He can’t lose you, not now, not ever. Soonie lost her mom to a car crash when she was three, and there’s no way in hell Johnny’s going to do something that could potentially make her lose you too.

Four

“Hey, you,” you grin, finishing pouring your glass of wine while you put your favourite chef on speaker.

“Hey, yourself,” Johnny responds, and you can practically hear the smile in his own voice. “Listen, uh, I need to ask you for a favour.”

“Shoot.”

“Two of my line chefs called in today before dinner- pretty sure they’re both hungover or something. Anyways, I’m staying, and it’s a busier night than projected- Soonie is done Girl Guides at seven, and I know it’s your night off, so if you’re busy I can find someone else, but-”

“I’ve got you,” you interrupt him. “Girls night with my favourite girl is a better plan than I had.”

“Really? You sure?”

“A hundred percent.”

“I’d say I owe you one, but at this point, I probably owe you more like a thousand.”

“And don’t you forget it,” you laugh, pouring your wine back into the bottle. “Take care of work, and I’ll take care of our girl.”

A couple hours later, you’re in Johnny’s familiar kitchen, making spiced popcorn and virgin cocktails. Soonie wants to be a chef, just like her dad, and she’s getting better every day. You love giving her soft instructions and lending a helping hand on bigger jugs of juice that her tiny fingers can’t quite hold.

Soonbok has a love for all things disney and music, and although this is probably the third time you’re watching it with her, the two of you settle in for the live action Ariel.

While Johnny is primarily a chef, back when you were in culinary school, he used to sing to himself when he was working. He was always quiet, but loud enough for you to listen to his beautiful voice. Like her father, Soonbok has a way with music, and you adore watching the eleven year old belt out Ariel songs.

She’s tuckered out from Girl Guides however, and about halfway into the movie she cuddles up next to you, her eyelids beginning to droop.

When Johnny comes home as the film is ending, Soonie is fast asleep, and you quickly motion at him to be quiet as he steps through the door.

Johnny is careful as he sets his keys and bag down, kicking off his shoes and putting away his jacket. He tiptoes toward the two of you. “How long has she been out?” he whispers.

“Half an hour or so,” you respond in a hushed tone. “How was work?”

He lets out a sigh. “Could have been better, but I’m home now. Should I get this little one to bed?”

You nod, watching the way Johnny bends down to gently lift his daughter off the couch. She stirs in his arms. “Daddy?”

“Hi, Soonie,” he beams down at her. “Did you have a good girls night?”

“Can y/n stay longer?”

Johnny’s eyes shift to you, and a smile forms on your lips. “I guess I can’t say no to Soonie, can I?”

“Here’s the deal, Soonie, y/n can stay longer, but I’ve gotta put you to bed. You had a long day, didn’t you, sweet girl?”

“Uh huh.” Soonie yawns, cuddling closer to Johnny’s chest, and the sight makes you melt.

Johnny carries her out of the living room and up to the second level. He takes some time tucking her in, and then he comes back down to join you, holding two beers in his hands. 

“So two line chefs called in, huh?” you prompt, tucking your legs up and making room for the large man on the sofa.

“I expected it from Haechan, but Mark’s generally pretty reliable. His girlfriend was on shift today, so I know he wasn’t skipping to be with her- I’m guessing they got pretty messed up last night.”

“They’re young,” you point out, accepting a beer from him. “We used to be young.”

“Used to be,” Johnny laughs, taking a swig of his drink. 

Looking at this man- this father, you realize maybe he never really got the chance to be young. At twenty five, he had a six year old, he wasn't running around blacking out and getting hung over, he was working his way up the employment ladder, dreaming about a better future for his daughter.

“You mentioned Mark has a girlfriend, I think I’ve heard about her a few times now, it’s interesting that she was in and he wasn’t.”

“I’m going to be honest, I love Mark, he’s a great kid- but, he can sometimes be peer pressured into things. Haechan has a hold on Mark unlike any I’ve seen, they bring out… interesting sides of each other.”

You laugh at the description, and it’s clear there’s more on Johnny’s mind, so you wait for him to continue. 

“It’s nice that Mark is young and in love, I can understand that- but at the same time, I just hope he doesn’t make the same mistakes I did. Not that Soonbok is a mistake, of course- I just mean that… life is fragile. You think you’re going to be with someone forever, and then you’re reminded of how frail things can be.”

You frown at his words. Even after all of these years, Johnny still holds so much pain about his lost wife. You want to do your best to help Johnny in every aspect of his life, especially emotional, but this is a topic you never know how to approach. He’s right for grieving, his ex was his first love, his true love- how is there anything you could ever say to make him feel better about her passing?

You open your mouth, only to close it, and Johnny watches you intently. Sometimes he looks at you, the way he’s looking at you right now, and you wonder if he feels the same level of connection with you that you feel with him. You wonder if he wants you to kiss him, if a kiss would make him feel better, if it would - if even for a moment - help him forget about the pains he’s faced in his life.

But it’s because of the pains he’s faced that neither of you can close the distance, you’d like to think about it that way at least. Even after all these years, it’s still too early, so you simply reach out and gently squeeze his hand.

Johnny offers you a smile, and you’re glad that in some small way, maybe you’ve helped him.

Five

It’s a pretty slow day after the lunch rush, so Johnny is sitting in the back office with Doyoung while they pick at their food. They often eat together once things settle down, and today is no different. 

What is different, however, is the topic of conversation Doyoung brings up. “How’s y/n doing?” he asks, taking a bite of his salad.

“She’s good. She helped me lock in a french toast recipe for Soonie’s birthday, so that was pretty helpful.”

“That’s nice,” Doyoung nods, “but I’m more interested in what’s going on between the two of you.”

“What do you mean?” Johnny asks, looking up from his schezwan beef noodle bowl. 

“I mean, you two have been friends for a long time. There’s a lot of history there.”

Johnny’s shocked that Doyoung is bringing this up. Out of all of the chef’s coworkers, he had not pegged Doyoung as being the man to bring up relationship gossip, and the whole thing takes him off guard for a moment. 

“We’re good friends,” Johnny says finally.

“I know that,” Doyoung rolls his eyes. “What’s holding you back from being more? It’s clear how much you two care about each other.”

Johnny looks down at his food, using his chopsticks to play around with a red pepper. “We do care about each other,” he confirms. “She was there for me with Soonie when no one else was, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“So why don’t you tell her how you really feel about her?” Doyoung presses. “It’s obvious in the way you look at each other- a smart woman like y/n, I’m shocked she hasn’t figured it out for herself by now.”

“I think, because of our history, there’s this… invisible line,” Johnny tries to explain. “Things are good the way they are now, if I try to mess with that… I could lose everything. And I wouldn’t just be losing it for myself, I’d be losing it for Soonie too.”

Doyoung lets out a breath, turning to face Johnny. “I get that it’s hard, but, you’ve got two paths ahead of you. If you give it a try, it could either end well, or badly. But if you keep yourself in this weird middle friend zone place, it’s like you’ve created a house at the crossroads, and that will never lead you anywhere.”

“When did you become so wise about love?” Johnny scoffs.

“Sumi has helped me with it,” Doyoung admits. “I met her here, we started off as friends. I’m her manager, so I had my own reasons for never taking the leap. I had my own house at the crossroads.”

“What made you finally give it a try?”

“She was there for me when my dad died,” Doyoung frowns. “Anyone can be there for you when things go badly, but when a woman truly gives her all to making things easier on you- it’s not something that should be ignored. After everything you and y/n have been through, you both deserve to give it a try.”

“How are you so sure she’d want to give it a try?”

“Because she looks at you the way you look at her.”

Six

Cooking with Johnny might just be the easiest thing in the world. You’d thought that, due to it being Soonie’s birthday, maybe tensions would be high, but as the two of you collaborate in the kitchen, bumping hips and easily communicating, things feel as they always have: easy. 

Within fifteen minutes, the two of you have seamlessly cooked thirteen breakfasts for yourselves, Soonie, her four friends, and six adults… well, seven, if you include the Boken Avocado Bennies you’d whipped up for Doyoung.

While there are a number of staff puttering around doing pre-opening tasks, it’s Doyoung who takes the time to help you and Johnny bring all the food to the table. You love watching the stoic manager announce the Soonie-inspired brunch food names, and it’s clear that Soonbok is also enamoured by the shift in Doyoung’s countenance. 

Before everyone begins to eat, you take a group picture on Johnny’s phone, loving the massive smile on Soonie’s face.

As you’re about to sit down, Johnny asks one of the other moms to take a picture of just you, him and Soonie. With the two of you on either side of the birthday girl, you can’t help but think that this feels like a family picture. 

In a way, Johnny and Soonie are your family- but in the same breath, you’re cognisant of the fact that - had circumstances been different - it would be Soonbok’s mom in this picture right now, and not you. These are shoes that can simply never be filled, no matter how much you wish you could.

The thought isn’t one you like to hold on to, and it’s a thought that’s popped into your head innumerable times throughout the years. Taking your seat next to the birthday girl, you watch her try the french toast, her eyes lighting up.

On top of her own food, Soonie picks at yours and Johnny’s. Both of you are more than happy to share so she can taste more than just one of the special items Johnny had concocted for her. 

Brunch is full of laughter and girlish giggles that light up the deserted restaurant. It’s clear how important Johnny has made Soonie feel today, and that brings you more joy than you could ever express out loud. 

As things wind down, you and Johnny begin clearing plates to the dishpit. The two of you are shoulder to shoulder, and you’re overwhelmed by an odd sense of longing that you can’t quite describe.

Johnny turns to you, mouth opening as if he’s about to say something- but as servers pass behind you, it’s clear that there’s no room for him to say whatever it is that he wanted to say to you.

You clear your throat, watching a line chef pop up next to Johnny to stack the dishes for dishwasher prep. “You should go back to Soonie,” you tell him, “I’ll finish up with the cleanup.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Of course, it’s Soonie’s day, go be with her.” You offer him a smile, and Johnny reacts by reaching out to squeeze your hand.

Without another word, he leaves you to your thoughts, and the feeling of need that’s growing steadier and steadier in your chest.

Seven

Johnny doesn’t know quite what to do with himself. Soonie’s birthday was yesterday, and today's day shift had been quite slow. He’s feeling restless with Soonie over at a friend’s place tonight, and he tries to drown himself in liquor- whether it be to chase away the loneliness or to gain courage, he’s not sure, but by nine oclock, Johnny finds himself dialing up your number.

“Hey, you,” you answer.

“Hey, yourself,” he grins. “Watcha up to?”

There’s a pause, and Johnny can hear people in the background. “I’m out actually.”

“Oh?” Johnny’s spirits dampen. “Out on another hot date?”

“Not so hot actually.”

Johnny bites at his lip. “I’ll let you go anyways.”

“It’s alright, I stepped out when you called. Do you need something?”

“I guess…” Johnny takes a breath. “I got into the liquor-”

“Say no more, I’ll be right over.”

Eight

“So…” Johnny grins as the two of you head into his kitchen, “how did the date go?”

You scoff, watching him pour a glass of wine. “How do you think it went? I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

“I mean… I am pretty hard to compete with,” Johnny flashes you a sexy grin… and proceeds to knock over the glass of wine. “Shit- fuck!”

“Listen, you go take a seat, and I’ll clean this up,” you laugh, watching him lumber toward the sofa. You make quick work of the mess, and when you’re done, you approach him in the living room.

“Come sit,” he prompts, patting the spot right next to him.

“Someone’s feeling awfully cuddly today,” you giggle when he grabs your hand to pull you down where he wants you, leaving no space between the two of you.

“What can I say? I’m a cuddly drunk.” 

“I can see that,” you note, assessing him.

His gaze dips to your lips, and your skin tingles. 

“Thank you for yesterday,” he says quietly.

“I told you, I was happy to help for Soonie’s special day.”

“It’s not just that,” he insists, “you’re always happy to help. I seriously-” he swallows thickly, “I seriously couldn’t have done anything I’ve done without you.”

“Don’t be so self deprecating,” you warn him, gently pushing his shoulder. “You’d have gotten anywhere you wanted, with or without me.”

“I still don’t have a food truck,” Johnny pouts.

You’d thought maybe he’d given up on that dream- although you’ve held onto hope for Johnny, more than he knows. “Now that you mention it, actually,” you say, pulling out your phone, “I’ve been looking at food trucks for sale online for a minute, and-”

Johnny’s gaze softens. “You’ve been researching for me?”

“Just a little,” you brush it off, trying to find the listing that you’d saved three days ago. “I found this decent looking one at a good price-”

“I think I love you.”

“Huh?” you freeze.

“I didn’t mean it,” Johnny says immediately, and your heart sinks. “I don’t think I love you, I know I do.”

“John, please, that’s the liquor talking.”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts,” he insists. “Look, you’ve always been there for me. We work together- and not just because we’re both chefs. Something about this,” Johnny gestures between the two of you, “it just works, and I know I’m not the only one who sees it.”

“Yeah?” You decide to play a little coy, seeing as this confession is coming from a drunk man. “And who else sees it?”

“Doyoung, for one.”

“Doyoung?” You let out a laugh. “Have you been gossiping about me with him?”

“I swear I didn’t bring it up,” Johnny defends himself. “Doyoung said I look at you with love, and that… that you look at me the same way.”

“Well… maybe Doyoung needs to get his eyes checked?”

“Don’t play with me,” Johnny begs, pulling you closer. “There’s always been a line between us, one we’ve both been too scared to cross… but, I think-”

“Now you’re crossing it,” you finish for him. “What made you want to do that?”

“Soonie’s birthday,” Johnny admits. “Our little family picture.”

“Our family picture,” you repeat, melting inside at the fact that he’d viewed the photo in the same light you had.

“Yeah.” Johnny nods. “Our family. Mine, and yours.” 

His hand finds your thigh, and you can’t help but reach out to cup his cheek, stroking your thumb across his angular bones. “I’m not sure what to say,” you admit.

“We don’t have to say anything,” Johnny assures you. “Just kiss me, and we can forget about the world for a minute.”

Your heart is racing in your chest as you hesitantly close the distance between your lips. It’s a gentle first kiss, but it soon grows hungry, and you’re not sure if that’s due to his appetite or your own.

His tongue swipes across your lip, and you open your mouth for him, letting out a soft sigh as you get lost in the feeling of the man who’s been your best friend for years.

His hand on your thigh squeezes, and before you know it, he’s pulling you onto his lap. Your knees dig into the sofa on either side of him, and you’re hesitant to fully sit down- a kiss is a kiss, but grinding on Johnny is something else entirely.

“Johnny,” you whisper, throwing your head back to look at the ceiling, wondering how you got into this situation.

“Yes, honey?” He presses kisses along your throat that have tingles shooting up your spine.

“You’re drunk,” you say finally.

“If I’d known you liked me too, I would have done this ages ago.”

“It’s not about that,” you laugh. “It’s about the fact that you’re drunk, and I want you sober when we do this.”

“Do what?” he teases, squeezing your hips, his tongue grazing over your jugular.

“You know what,” you retort with a huff. “Look, you’re right about the line neither of us wanted to cross.”

Johnny pulls away from your throat, looking up at you. “Huh?”

“The line. The unspoken line. All these years, something has been there, between us- but, we both respect your wife, we respect Soonie- I think… I think the time is right for this now, well, not right now, but, once you’re sober again.”

“You’re right,” Johnny concedes. 

“How about we watch a movie, then we can go to sleep.”

“You’ll stay over?” There’s a boyish excitement in his voice and it makes you melt.

“Uh huh.”

“Will you stay in my bed with me?”

“Just for cuddles, but only if you promise to drink a bunch of water before we sleep, I don’t want you hung over in the morning.”

Johnny grins. “You got it, honey.”

Nine

Johnny wakes up next to a warm body, and it’s the first time in years. Your presence is the only thing that proves to him that last night wasn’t a dream, some twisted fantasy- No, you’re real, and you’re here, and you’d kissed him back-

He stays cuddled with you for a while, basking in the glow of being in love, truly in love, and finally able to admit it to himself. It’s been so long since his wife, and part of him had forgotten the feeling- maybe that’s why it had taken years for him to realize how much he adores you.

After a while, Johnny decides he needs some water- and he wants to make breakfast for you. He wants to spoil you the way you spoil him.

Johnny is careful as he exits the bed, taking one last look at your peaceful face before heading down to the kitchen.

It’s easy for Johnny to get lost in the act of cooking, focusing on bacon at first before switching to eggs. As it was a few days ago, the smell of food wakes you up, and soon you’re joining him by the stove.

“Watcha making?” you ask, wrapping your body around his.

God, the feeling of you is- fuck, he can’t even describe how good it is.

“Wanted to make you breakfast,” he tells you, plating your food first. Once he has you settled and sitting, he quickly throws together a breakfast sandwich for himself.

“You and your sandwiches,” you laugh, digging into your bacon and eggs.

“How did you sleep?” he asks, coming to join you.

“So well,” you tell him, bumping your knee against his own, “even if someone snores.” 

Johnny can only laugh, he’s dealt with Soonbok complaining about his loud snoring for years. “How are the eggs?”

“Good!” 

You’re so chipper this morning, and he loves it. Johnny takes a bite of his sandwich- you’d cooked the eggs at the brunch birthday two days ago, and he realizes Soonie was right. “Your eggs are better,” he muses.  

“I’d planned on making breakfast for you, but you jumped the gun, big guy.”

“I wanted to pamper you for a change.”

“Cooking is my love language,” you tell him. “I’m excited to make you breakfast more often.”

“I like the sound of that,” he smiles.

“When’s Soonie come home?”

Johnny checks the clock on the stove. “In an hour or so.”

“As much as I’d love to see her, I think maybe it’s better if I’m not here when she gets home,” you say thoughtfully. “She’s a smart girl, I bet she’d be able to tell that something is up.”

“She definitely would,” Johnny confirms. “I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you that much if you stick around.”

You giggle, reaching over to squeeze his knee.

“How are you feeling about last night?” Johnny asks.

“I’m feeling good, how about you? Still remember all of it?”

“In perfect detail,” he breathes. “Although… a little reminder wouldn’t hurt.”

“Oh, it wouldn’t?” you tease as he leans in, cupping your face so he can press his lips to your own. 

God, you’re such a good kisser. It just works. It’s hard for him to even pull away, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm you.

“Take me out on a date,” you say.

“Hmm?”

“A date,” you repeat. “Just because we’ve known each other for years doesn’t mean we can skip steps.”

“I respect that,” Johnny nods. “I’ve got a busy week, and it will have to be a night where Soonie is out, but… we’ll make it work.”

Johnny’s so certain it will work, because things between you have always worked, and he can’t wait to see where this takes you. 

Ten

It’s been a week, but finally Johnny found time for that date night. Soonie is out with friends again, so it’s the perfect opportunity to get some alone time with the man who’s been on your mind constantly.

He picks you up in his old Dodge truck, compliments your outfit, and refuses to tell you where you’re going or what the plan is.

When you arrive back at his place, you’re honestly not even surprised. “Let me guess, you took me to the best chef in town?”

“You know all my lines, honey,” he grins. 

“So, chef, what’s on the menu?”

“I thought maybe you’d take a seat and let me cook for you.”

“As if I’d take a back seat,” you scoff. “What are we making?”

Johnny had made hand made fettucini before he’d come to pick you up. You let him take lead in making a white wine, garlic cream sauce with button mushrooms, spinach and crispy prosciutto, but you insist on being his sous chef and taking care of the chicken.

The smell is heavenly, and as he finishes it all off with fresh herbs, you think you start to drool a little.

“For a guy who claims to specialize in sandwiches of all things, you’re pretty good with italian,” you muse as you take your first bite and nearly moan.

“I’m pretty good with a lot of things,” Johnny laughs. 

“Look at you being all cocky.”

“You love it.”

He’s so right.

The two of you chat and laugh together while eating. It’s one of the best meals you’ve had in a very long time. When dinner is over, Johnny suggests a movie. As the two of you settle on the couch, he prompts you to come closer, and soon, the two of you are cuddled together as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He’s so warm and comforting- you find yourself dozing off a little, although, maybe it’s something of a food coma from all the pasta.

Johnny brings his lips to your ear, and you shiver when he asks, “Should I carry you to bed, honey?” 

Part of you wants to tell him you’re not Soonie and you won’t be calling him daddy any time soon- but another part of you wants to lean into this. It’s been so long since you felt like you could be babied, and if anyone is going to bring out that side of you, it’s going to be Johnny.

“Won’t I be too heavy?” you ask, cognizant of the stairs he’ll have to climb.

“Have you seen my arms? I won’t drop you, honey, I promise.”

You allow him to scoop you up, and you feel like a giggling school girl again as he takes you up to his room. “Do you have a shirt I could wear to sleep?” 

“Choose anything,” he tells you. “When you’re changed, you can join me in the bathroom, I went and got a toothbrush for you.”

Before you know it, you’re cuddled in Johnny’s bed, wearing panties and one of his big shirts. He’s pressed to your back, his mint tinged breath warm on the nape of your neck. There’s no pressure for sex, no pressure for anything other than the situation at hand, and you can tell you’re both very content with it. 

Soon, you’re drifting off to sleep in the arms of a man who’s been a cornerstone of your life.

It’s a deep, dreamless sleep, and it passes in the blink of an eye. You awaken to light beaming through his window, a warm body behind you, and something hard pressed against your ass.

You laugh to yourself- morning wood isn’t something men can help. Even so, you stir a little, adjusting to get more comfortable.

Johnny releases a sleepy groan.

You stay still, not wanting to wake him, but it feels like the damage is already done when he wraps you tighter in his embrace. “Morning,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Hi,” you respond lightly.

Now it’s Johnny’s turn to shift, and you feel his body tense when he does so. “Fuck,” he goes to pull away, “sorry, I uh-”

“It’s okay,” you assure him, grabbing his forearm so he can’t move away, “keep cuddling me.”

Johnny returns, flush against your back, his hard cock pressing even more firmly to your ass.

“Are you sure you’re alright with this?” he asks.

“More than okay with it.”

“Yeah?” He leans forward, pressing his lips to your throat. “Are you okay with this, too?” Johnny mumbles, his hot breath fanning across your skin.

“Uh huh,” you sigh, wiggling your bum back against him and arching your neck to give him better access.

His hand finds your hip, gently squeezing you through the shirt you’re wearing. His lips are soft against you, but there’s a need in his motions too, and he begins to grind against your ass.

You let out a groan when he finds the sweet spot just below your ear, and he licks at it, making you moan louder.

“Are we going to do this?” he asks, nipping at your earlobe.

“Fuck it, yes.” You can’t hold back anymore, you turn in his embrace, quickly mounting him and smashing your lips to his own.

Johnny grins into the kiss, holding your hips while you settle on top of him, grinding down against his clothed cock while your tongues begin to clash.

His kisses have you seeing stars, your mind going blank except for him.

Soon, his hands slip under your shirt, slowly grazing up your sides. “Can I take this off of you?” he asks.

You open your eyes to look down at him, studying his pretty lips and his chocolate eyes. 

Instead of responding, you sit up, grabbing the hem of the oversized T and lifting it over your head, tossing it to the side and baring yourself to your best friend for the first time.

“Fuck,” Johnny groans, gaze falling to your tits. His hands stay at a respectable location on your hips, and you grab one to lift it to your breast, adding pressure so he knows he’s allowed to give you a test squeeze.

Johnny begins to massage you, and you throw your head back, releasing a groan, swiveling your hips against him.

His thumb brushes over your hardened nipple and you mewl loudly, core throbbing from the stimulus.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, propping himself up so he can take your nipple into his mouth.

You cup the back of his head, keeping him on your chest while he worships you. His other hand finds your neglected breast, gently pinching and massaging while he sucks on your sensitive bud.

“John-” You don’t even know what to say, you’re entirely wrapped up in him. 

You’ve never felt a feral need like this before, but it’s not necessarily the primal type of drive. Instead, it’s a feeling of wanting to be close to this man- who you’ve been next to for so many years, but unable to touch. 

Except, he’s touching you now, and you want more. 

Johnny pulls away from your breasts, cupping the back of your head and drawing your lips to his again. “We should take our clothes off,” he suggests.

“That’s the best idea you’ve had all week,” you laugh. 

He helps you off of him, and you lay next to each other for a moment, both fumbling to get naked. As soon as you’re fully nude, Johnny rolls on top of you, slotting between your thighs. His lips find yours again, and his free hand trails down your body, teasing through your pussy lips.

“You’re already so wet,” he muses.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” you admit.

“Me too,” he assures you, capturing your mouth with his own while he teases a finger into your hole. You push your hips up, wanting more, and you latch onto his strong shoulders, moaning into the kiss.

Johnny’s a big man, and his finger is enough to have you wriggling below him. “Easy, honey,” he grins, looking down at you with eyes full of adoration. “Gotta stretch you open.”

“Fuck,” you groan- does this man read erotica in his spare time? How is a thirty year old, single dad, this well versed in dirty talk even though you’re pretty sure he hasn’t been laid in forever?

He adds a second finger, curling them to find your gspot. As he pumps his hand, lips pressed to yours in a mad frenzy, you can hear your wetness with each motion. 

It feels unreal- have fingers alone ever done a number like this on you?

Johnny twists his hand a little, knuckles dragging along your sensitive inner walls. It’s like he’s trying to carve out a space for his cock, although, you know now that this won’t be enough. He’s thick and throbbing on your hip, his length so large you think he might just blow your entire back out when he slips it into you.

Even though you’re eager to be - for lack of a better word - impaled on him, Johnny takes his time kissing you, his fingers continuing their motions. “Wanna rub your clit for me?” he asks, moving his mouth to your neck. “I want to watch you cum.”

Your toes curl at his words, and you bring your hand to your pussy, drawing circles on the sensitive bud while he continues to stroke your inner walls.

Your core throbs around him, whimpers of pleasure escaping you. 

“You’re being so good for me, honey,” Johnny tells you, making your insides flutter even more from the sincere words of praise.

Cumming hasn’t always been the easiest thing in the world for you. There are many partners you’ve had who never had the wherewithal to get you there- but somehow, Johnny just knows you. Or maybe, it’s because he knows you- because you feel safe with him, that you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

It also helps that it’s your own fingers on your clit, you know exactly what you like, what pressure, what motions- the digits working you open are just an added bonus that have you seeing stars as you make your way to your peak.

“John,” you gasp, tits pushing up toward his chest when your back arches. “I’m gonna-”

“Let it out for me,” he encourages you softly. “You deserve it.”

“I deserve your cock,” you whine, shocked at your own blatant neediness.

Johnny only laughs. “After,” he assures you, “I promise.”

A few more circles of your clit has the cord in your stomach snapping, your orgasm washing over your like warm summer waves. Your entire body tingles with delight, gasps leaving you as your pussy fully throbs around his fingers, your clit pulsing with desire.

“So pretty,” he whispers, bringing his lips to yours.

From the way he smiles against your mouth, you can tell he doesn’t care that you’re moaning so much he can hardly kiss you.

It’s a closeness you’ve never felt before, and he helps you through your orgasm until you’re pulling your hand away in favour of grabbing his shoulders.

Johnny takes his fingers out of your core, and you watch under hooded eyelids as he brings them to his lips, sucking them clean and releasing a groan. “Everything you do tastes better than what I bring to the table.”

You laugh. He’s such a fucking chef.

“Some might even say it’s…” you stifle a giggle, “Finger licking good.” 

Johnny lets out a laugh, eyes lighting up. God, you love this soft, laughter infused sex- you’ve never experienced anything like it.

You grab the back of his neck, drawing his mouth to your own. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and there’s something so erotic about it. He moans loudly, rubbing his cock between your wet pussy lips.

The tip of his cock is stimulating your clit and it sends jitters through you. You can feel how soaked you are, and you wouldn’t be surprised if this ended with a wet patch on his bed from how turned on you’ve been throughout this whole experience.

Johnny seems intent with grinding against you, but you’re lacking patience today, and you reach between your bodies to grab his cock.

Johnny breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours and looking down at where you’re gripping him. He doesn’t say anything, his gaze shifting back to your own. There’s a question in his eyes, and you’re both aware that this is the final line. Once you cross this, there’s no going back.

You bring his cock to your wet hole, and with very little effort, you help guide the head of his cock inside of you.

“Fuck,” Johnny groans immediately, fists bunching at the pillow on either side of your head. “You’re so tight- are you sure you’re good with this?”

“You’re just- fuck,” you whimper as another inch sinks into you, “you’re just big!”

“Maybe you’ll have to get used to it,” he grins, pushing deeper.

You moan loudly, clawing at his shoulders. “Maybe I will,” you gasp. 

He brings his mouth close to your own, until your lips are just brushing, eyes meeting when he says, “I’m looking forward to it.”

As he kisses you, he pushes fully into your warm, wet, throbbing core. His hips are flush to your own, and you swear no one’s ever been this deep inside of you.

Your legs shake on either side of his hips, body suspended in this odd purgatory-like place between extreme pleasure, and an uncomfortable feeling of being stretched more than you’ve ever been stretched before.

“Are you good?” he asks, lips moving to your cheek while you struggle to aclimatize to his cock.

“Yeah,” you nod quickly. “Just- fuck me, it will be easier.”

“If you say so, honey.”

The first thrust has your toes curling, eyes clenching shut with pleasure. A sound that’s never come from you before leaves your lips- a sound you’ve heard in porn, but always thought was an overexpression.

Your fingers dig into Johnny’s shoulders, and he holds you close, mouth finding your neck while he begins to fuck you.

Although, would this be called fucking?

The fluidity of his motions- the way you’re clinging to each other- it feels more like making love, and your skin tingles with the realization.

“Johnny?” you whisper.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me you love me again, like you did when you were drunk.”

“I love you,” he says immediately, holding you even tighter. “I love you so much that sometimes it hurts.”

Your entire body both relaxes and is set on fire by his words, your core throbbing desperately around his massive cock. 

“Johnny-” you whimper.

“Tell me you love me too,” he pleads.

“I love you too,” you whisper, threading your fingers through his hair and bringing his face close to yours so you can look up into his eyes. “I love you too.” 

Johnny’s hand finds your thigh, hiking it higher on his hip. Somehow, he hits even deeper now, and you wriggle below him, more sounds of pleasure escaping you and filling the room.

“You sound so good, honey- I won’t last if you keep squeezing me and moaning-”

“Then don’t last,” you gasp. “Want you to cum.”

“Where should I cum?”

“Inside- I’m on birth control, just- fuck, Johnny, cum inside.”

He groans, pressing his mouth firmly to your own, his tongue dancing along yours as his motions get even faster.

You’re clinging to him for dear life at this point, and when he slips a hand between your bodies to rub your clit, you nearly begin to cry from how good it feels.

“Love the way your pussy sucks me in when we play with your clit,” he tells you. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck-

“Do you think you can cum for me again? I don’t want to be the only one cumming.”

“Yeah, yeah- fuck, yeah, I can cum again,” you whimper desperately.

“Let me know when,” he instructs, adjusting his motions ever so slightly so each thrust has his cock dragging against your gspot.

You let out a squeal of delight, your thighs shaking around his hips, stomach muscles clenching almost painfully-

“Fuck, John, I’m there- shit, fuck-”

Johnny shuts you up with his lips against your own, and for a second time, your orgasm hits you.

Your core clamps down incredibly hard on his cock, and Johnny groans deeply above you, fingers twitching on your clit. He keeps his pace, and a moment later, you feel his cum filling you up, coating your walls with warmth.

The feeling of his large length throbbing in your own oversensitive hole has your entire mind going fuzzy, and you kiss him like a woman lost, like a woman so completely in love that nothing else matters.

You ride out your orgasms together, until you’re both shaking. Only then does Johnny come to a stop on top of you, kisses turning to a more gentle nature as he holds you close. 

“I love you,” he tells you again.

You smile, blinking up at your best friend. “And I love you.”

Epilogue

The two of you are in the kitchen cooking brunch. Johnny is pressed to your back, watching intently, asking all sorts of questions about how you cook eggs to make them so delicious and superior to his own.

“The secret ingredient is love,” you tease.

Johnny can only laugh, holding you tighter.

He’s so lost in you, that he loses track of time, and as the two of you are sitting down to eat, Soonbok walks through the front door. She stops in her tracks when she sees you, letting her little overnight bag slip to the ground.

“Oh, hi, baby,” Johnny stands up immediately.

“Hi, daddy,” Soonie says, allowing her dad to pick her up for a hug while her eyes shift to you.

“Did Sabrina’s mom drop you off?” Johnny asks, looking out the door to wave at Soonie’s friend’s mom as she drives away.

“As always, daddy,” Soonie laughs. “I didn’t know y/n was coming over.”

“Surprise,” you grin, also standing so that when Johnny sets his daughter to the ground, she can run to give you a hug of your own.

Once Soonie is done squeezing you as tight as her little arms can muster, she looks between you and Johnny. For some reason, Johnny feels his heart beginning to race, there’s a knowing in his daughters eyes.

“What’s going on?” Soonie asks finally.

“Y/N and I just had a little sleep over,” Johnny tries to explain, and the concept isn’t a new one, you sleep over frequently… in the guest bedroom.

“So…” a wicked grin appears on Soonbok’s face, “Does this mean you’ll stop trying to get me to call her auntie now?”

“What?” Johnny lets out a surprised laugh.

“You heard me, daddy,” Soonbok’s smile widens. “Does this… does this mean we’ll be a real family now?”

Johnny lets out a shuddery breath. In the years you’ve been helping raise Soonbok, Johnny has broached the idea of her calling you Auntie Y/N, as a respect thing, and his daughter has always refused. Had she seen the connection this whole time? Has this been something Soonbok has wanted ever since she was a five year old with an inquisitive mind and an even more discerning eye?

Johnny’s gaze shifts to you, and you flash him a warm smile.

“Yeah, baby,” Johnny picks up his daughter. “We can be a real family now.”

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! This was such a fun project for me, thank you so much to everyone who encouraged me to write for Chef John, he deserved his happy ending :)

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🔮 preview. The man ordering can’t see you lying on the floor of the food truck. He has no idea what’s going on- and you feel like tempting fate a little. You bring your hand to your pussy, beginning to rub yourself through your pants, adjusting the vibrator ever so slightly as it buzzes inside you. Johnny nearly drops the tomato he’s holding, quickly tearing his gaze from yours. You’ve never seen him trying to focus this hard- and failing. What had been your torture initially, has just become his own, and you kind of love it.

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, exhibitionism (fucking in a food truck), use of vibrator while helping a customer, vibrator as a makeshift gag ball, breast worship, fucking with half your clothes on, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, big dick Johnny, pussy stretching, dirty talk, praise, breeding kink, etc…   I petnames. (hers) honey

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.1k I teaser wc. 230

🌙 starring. Johnny x afab!Reader

bonus

You love working with Johnny. Sure, it had been rough at first, getting his food truck on its feet, but it’s been two years, and with some insanely good marketing, you’re now running one of the top trucks in the city.

It’s a joy to watch Johnny fulfill his dreams every day- his odd obsession with sandwiches of all things has only added to your connection. Watching him smile and charm guests makes your heart swell with joy, and on the rare occasion Soonie comes to do the register and take orders, it feels like you’re just one happy family.

Today, however, is a weather disaster. The forcast had mentioned light sprinkles, but cuddled next to Johnny looking out at the torrential downpour, you both feel a little bamboozled.

“You know what would make this more fun?” Johnny asks.

“Customers?” you suggest.

“Yes, but also… I got you something.” The chef flashes you a sly smirk, and you pull away from his shoulder to asses him.

“Am I going to like where this is going?” you ask.

He was single for so long- and there’d been so many sexual things he’d missed out on during that time, but the two of you are making up for it every moment you have alone. You suppose this is a moment alone, so you’re not really shocked that his mind is in the gutter.

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start over

fluff, strangers to ?

Ending a relationship is always difficult, especially when it has lasted for years to the point of becoming an engagement. It was painful what you went through, but now it was time to start over, to take some time to rediscover yourself. 

That's how you decided to take a solo trip to a paradisiacal place. You weren't the kind of person who liked beaches, spending the day under the sun, but you felt it was necessary to have a new experience. You were at this hotel by the sea, where everyone said it had the best sunset view in the whole city. You had arrived and settled at one of the tables about an hour before the sun was supposed to set, as you had heard it would happen at 6:20 PM. 

You ordered a beer, took a book out of your bag, and looked around, seeing everyone busy taking photos to update their social media. Actually, almost everyone. Your eyes fixed on a man who was sitting alone a couple of tables away from you. He was wearing sunglasses and drinking white wine. The wind seemed like a paid actor gently swaying his black hair. The open buttons of his shirt revealing a bit of his tattoo added the perfect touch to make him extremely attractive. 

Yes, he was definitely the most attractive stranger you had ever seen. 

You realized you were staring at him for too long when he looked in your direction, as if he felt he was being watched. You quickly looked back at your book to hide how embarrassed you were at being caught and missed seeing the smile on his face. 

A few minutes later, when you were truly focused on the pages of your book, you felt a presence beside you and were surprised to see the man standing there, very close to you, holding his wine glass. 

“Excuse me, may I sit here?” he said with a charming smile. You just gestured towards the chair next to you, closing your book and placing it on the table. As he sat down, he asked, “Sorry, but I’m curious to know how such a beautiful woman is here alone reading a romance novel in this wonderful place.” 

You laughed at the man’s comment, then took a sip of your beer and replied. “First, thank you for the compliment.” He raised his glass as if toasting to the wind. “Second, this was the best way I found to wait for the sunset, but I guess now I’ll have to change my plans a bit.” You mimicked his gesture, making him smile. 

“Sorry for the lack of manners, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Johnny.” He extended his hand and you shook it, introducing yourself as well. “I found it interesting that you’re here and not taking photos.” He pointed to the other people who were doing just that. 

“I’ll leave the photos for later. But what about you, what brings you here?” 

Johnny explained that he was a DJ and had played at a party nearby the previous night, but wanted to stay a few more days to rest and enjoy the city. When he asked why you were traveling alone, you thought about telling him what had happened, but it was better to forget about it. 

“Let’s just say I want a fresh start. But let’s save that conversation for another time.”

“So, we’ll meet again?” Johnny said in a flirtatious tone and all you could do was laugh at his attempt to flirt with you. 

“Well, we’re staying at the same hotel, we’ll be here for a few more days, so we’ll run into each other.” 

“Perfect.” 

The conversation lasted for a while and you were surprised by the chemistry between you two. You talked about everything; Johnny shared his preference for drinking white wine during the day and red wine at night because, according to him, they matched the vibe. You said that even though you loved wine, you didn’t know much about it and preferred to drink beer on a hot day like this one. You spent the rest of the afternoon laughing, sharing some stories, and when he was about to tell you one of his travel adventures, you noticed the sun beginning to set. 

You asked him to help take some photos of you and you did the same for him. Then you both stayed there, watching the sun disappear into the vastness of the water, enjoying each other's company. 

“This is one of the most beautiful things I've seen,” you said, sighing, still with your eyes fixed on the horizon. 

“I agree, it’s really beautiful.” 

When you turned to Johnny, his eyes were fixed on you and it was the first time you looked directly into his honey-colored eyes. You felt him getting closer, your breaths mingled, and when your noses touched, reality hit and you quickly pulled away from him.

“Sorry, we just met, but I found you so interesting that—” 

“Calm down, Johnny, it’s okay. I’m not angry or anything, I’m just… not ready. I’ll explain later.” 

“Is that one of the reasons you’re here?” 

You just nodded. Then he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and gently held your chin, making you look into his eyes once more.

“It’s okay, I won’t pressure you into anything. But, would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tomorrow?” 

“Like, a date?”

“Like a date.”

You laughed again at how comfortable he made you feel. 

“Alright, I accept. That way you can properly explain to me how red wine matches the nighttime vibe.” 

It had been days since you had a great time as much as you did that afternoon. 

You were ready to start over alone, but, on second thought, it would be more fun if this new beginning happened alongside an attractive stranger during beautiful summer days.